"Reckless" By Sue Corkill
Title: Reckless
Author: Sue Corkill
Email:
scorkill@earthlink.netCategory: Sam & Jack, Angst
Status: Complete
Rating: NC-17
Content Warning: Explicit sex, adult language
Season/Sequel info: Season Two/Three
Spoilers: Out of Mind, Into the Fire, Point of View
Archive: Heliopolis, SJRA
Summary: An unexpected occurrence during their incarceration on Hathor’s planet changes Captain Carter and Colonel O’Neill’s relationship.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Feedback: Cheerfully accepted.
Author’s notes: For Alli and Fj. Thanks to Ann for her input and, as always, my unending thanks to Wendy for her patience and help. And don’t worry my darling peeps, there will be a sequel!
Copyright © M. Susan Corkill, May 2002.
RECKLESS
It was all suddenly too much for Sam. The noise, the laughter, the hearty congratulations; people she didn’t even know wanting to touch her, hug her, shake her hand. She had thought she’d feel better once they got to the infirmary, but that wasn’t the case at all. If anything, now that the adrenaline rush was ebbing, it was worse. It was all she could think of now.
//Her body pressed against his, his arm heavy around her waist, his breath hot against her ear. The almost frantic relief she felt knowing that he was alive.//
"Janet?" she asked, trying to keep her voice calm, she didn’t want to give the too-perceptive doctor any reason to deny her request. "Do you mind if I go clean up first?" She forced herself to stand quietly while Fraiser gave her a critical once over.
"Sure, Sam," Janet finally said. "Go take a shower, be back here in forty-five minutes."
Sam nodded and backed slowly towards the door, though everything in her screamed for her to turn and run. She studiously avoided looking at the Colonel, she wasn’t sure what would happen if she met his eyes. When she was almost at the door, she turned and almost ran head on into a corpsman who had just entered the crowded infirmary. She barely acknowledged his, "Sorry ma’am," as she finally made her escape. If it wouldn’t have looked suspicious, Sam would have run to their locker room, it was all she could to keep her steps at a controlled pace. She finally rounded the last corner and saw with relief the hallway was empty, and then she did jog the last few yards to the relative safety of the locker room. She pulled open the door and closed it quickly, turning the lock with a sob of relief. Panting now, she leaned back against the door.
//"God, Sam...I thought you were dead." The hard surface of the wall up against her back, the hot press of the Colonel's chest against her breasts, his hands rough as he tugged at her borrowed slacks.//
"Stop it!" she whispered into the empty room. "Stop it!" Oh god, why hadn’t she said that hours earlier? She slumped down onto the floor, resting her head on her drawn up knees. Oh god, what had she done? Had sex with your commanding officer, the little voice inside her head reminded her. Wild, hot and definitely forbidden sex. Oh god, what was she going to do? Take a shower, the little voice scolded her, so that when Fraiser examines you she won’t see any evidence that your commanding officer came inside you; his semen and your juices dried and caked between your legs. Swallowing back a surge of nausea, Sam forced herself to get up off the floor before she wasted any more of the limited time Fraiser had allowed her.
Dragging herself to her locker, she opened it, feeling unbearably weary and full of despair. She pulled out the terry cloth robe she kept on base and then slowly started stripping off her clothes. Which didn’t amount to much considering she was wearing borrowed BDU pants, shirt and some nameless slaves white T-shirt — no bra and no panties.
//"Jack," she whimpered, pulling him closer, desperately searching for his mouth. Her own hands tugging at his T-shirt, clutching and grasping at his back. His lips suddenly claimed hers in a frantic kiss, his tongue forcing its way into her mouth, bold and demanding. She moaned as he tugged the white jacket down and off, then pulled the T-shirt up, his mouth fastening greedily on her breast.//
She tossed the dirty BDU’s on the floor and stuffed the T-shirt in the bottom of her locker. Wrapping herself in her robe and grabbing her kit and some towels, she went to the showers. Turning on the water as hot as she could stand it, she rummaged around in her kit for the soap and dropping the robe on a bench, closed herself inside the shower stall. She stood right under the water, letting it beat down on her, washing away the entire dirt, grime and other ‘evidence’ of their mission. She felt a sob catch in her throat, if only she could wash away what had happened between her and the Colonel as easily. She was so ashamed. No, he hadn’t forced her — he hadn’t needed to, she had been a more than willing participant. It was her total lack of shame that was humiliating. What must he think of her? It was one thing to secretly covet your C.O., but it was a totally reprehensible and reckless thing to have acted on those feelings. Oh, she knew she could try and rationalize that it was the drugs, the stress, and the relief at finding each other alive that had led to their indiscretion. Her sobs almost turned hysterical with that thought, indiscretion was really too mild a term to use to describe what basically amounted to a quick fuck up against the wall.
//The Colonel’s large hands once more returned to the fly of her slacks, deftly popping the button and tugging the zipper down. She shimmied her hips, and felt the material slide easily down her legs and pool at her ankles. Kicking one leg free, she wrapped it around the Colonel’s legs, rubbing herself wantonly against his erection. She heard him growl, and his mouth left her breast as she felt his hand force it’s way between her aching flesh and his groin as he struggled with the fastenings of his trousers. The next thing she knew, the Colonel’s hands were on her hips as he lifted her, his voice a low rumble as he commanded, "Wrap your legs around me!" She had mindlessly obeyed, her only desire at the moment being to have him inside her; filling her with his warmth, his presence, his very life.//
She picked up the washcloth from where she’d let it fall and started scrubbing herself. She washed her arms, her chest; running the soapy cloth down her side to her hip, she noticed the bruises present on her hips and along her outer thighs. Dark blue and purple marks showing up vividly on her pale skin. Oh god, how would she ever explain those to Janet? Especially the ones that looked just like the fingers that had pressed frantically into her soft flesh. She hadn’t even felt them happen, she’d been too busy with other sensations.
//She could feel the raised hieroglyphs scraping along her exposed back as the Colonel lifted her, but she didn’t care. She clutched at his shoulders and wrapped her legs around his waist, his hands gripping her hips firmly as he positioned her. She bit back a cry as he drove his rigid length into her and buried her face against his shoulder, a part of her brain still recognizing the need for caution. His breath sounded harsh in her ear as he pounded into her, thrusting deeply. She knew by his frantic pace that he wouldn’t last long, so she wasn’t surprised when his movements became more erratic and less controlled. What did surprise her was the orgasm that suddenly ripped through her, her body convulsing against his as he drove into her one last time, grinding his hips against her as he filled her with his seed.//
She quickly finished her shower, praying that Fraiser wouldn’t feel the need to examine every inch of her body and if she did...well, she’d just have to make something up. Stepping out of the shower, she shivered, and not just from the sudden rush of cool air. She was tired and anxious and yes, scared even, because now that they were back at the SGC and in the real world, she wasn’t sure how she could ever face Jack O’Neill again.
//It had seemed the most natural thing to say, in the few brief moments of calm that followed first hers, and then his, intense orgasm. He’d rested against her, and she had stroked his hair, her legs still tightly clasped around his hips, his penis slowly growing flaccid inside of her. She hadn’t even realized she was saying anything until she heard the soft voice whispering, "I love you," over and over again, and realized she had just let slip her most carefully guarded secret. He had to have heard, but he didn’t say anything, merely kissed her hard, helped her to dress and once more became her commanding officer.//
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Jack lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling in the infirmary. Not as crowded as it had been earlier, he deduced. Though he was going by sound alone as Fraiser had him isolated in a corner, curtained off from the rest of the room. Even with Carter’s assurances that the Goa’uld that had entered him was gone, he knew Fraiser wouldn’t rest until she had proven it for herself. Plenty of time to do nothing but think....
//His heart continued to race, but whether it was from their close call with the Jaffa or her body pressed so tightly against his, he couldn’t tell. His hand tightened around her waist, the other moving restlessly on her shoulder. Touching cloth where brief minutes earlier he had seen only smooth, warm — and very alive — flesh. //
He muffled a groan and rested his arm over his eyes, trying to banish the images. His head hurt like hell, and he was sure his toes were still frozen. He didn’t even want to begin to think about how the Goa’uld had left him, it probably was a good thing he’d been a popsicle at the time. And then regaining consciousness to Carter’s gentle touch and worried voice, knowing he was still alive and she was still with him. Especially after just being reunited with her.
//She was so soft, and warm, and alive. It was the dead and then alive bit that was overwhelming him. Guiding her into the fake elevator, he crowded her against the wall, pressing his already aroused body into hers, "God, Sam, I thought you were dead." He heard her soft gasp as his hands fumbled with her clothing and then the sweet sound of his name on her lips, her arms wrapping desperately around him and her fingers digging into his back. //
What the fuck had he done? Hell, that was easy, he thought mirthlessly; he’d fucked his captain; a woman he admired, respected, and cared for on levels so deep that it frightened him—and that he chose not to acknowledge. He’d taken her in a frenzy of lust up against the wall, as if he had no regard for her, or for the fact that he was her commanding officer. He had seen how she wouldn’t look at him once they were out of danger and back at the SGC, once the rush of battle-induced adrenaline had worn off. The mixture of guilt and shame on her face whenever their eyes would accidentally meet, as if she were the one who bore the blame for what had happened between them. No, the guilt was all his. He had all but forced her.
//He couldn’t get enough of the taste of her, his mouth ravishing hers, his tongue probing deep. His hands weren’t idle either, tugging and pulling at the borrowed clothing, desperate to feel her soft skin against his. Giving up in frustration, he simply pulled the T-shirt up under her arms, finally baring her breasts to his hot gaze and his equally hot mouth. Fastening his lips around one already erect nipple, he suckled hungrily at her tender flesh; his hands once more returning to the fastenings of her trousers. Tugging and pulling, he finally managed to unfasten them and then he felt like his brain was going to explode as Carter rubbed herself against his raging erection. He growled, "Wrap your legs around me." God, he needed to be inside her, a part of her, joined to her so that he would never be alone again.//
"Hey, Sam." Jack heard Fraiser’s voice, and then the soft murmurs of the two women talking. He strained to hear what they were saying, but other than an occasional word, he couldn’t tell. What would she tell the doctor? Would she report him to Hammond, bring him up on charges? Or would she ask to be transferred off his team? Of all the possibilities, that one scared him the most, that she would leave him, that he would never see her again, that she would despise him for his uncontrolled lust.
//He roughly gripped her hips, forcing her more firmly against the wall and lifting her. She did as he commanded and wrapped her legs around his waist, her hot flesh open to him. Without even worrying whether she was ready for him or not, he drove his rock hard penis deep into her snug channel with one ferocious thrust. He dimly heard her soft cry as he pounded into her, losing what little control he had left as the sweet relief of finally being inside her completely overwhelmed him. Her breath was hot against his neck and he couldn’t tell if her breathless moans were from pleasure or pain, too far gone now, to do anything but drive for his own release. Too soon he could feel his orgasm curling up from the base of his spine and as it gained intensity and power, he was gratified to feel Sam’s body suddenly tighten around his and the muffled cry against his throat that signaled her orgasm, before he lost all coherent thought and surrendered to rapture. //
The sudden sound of the curtain being pulled back roused Jack from his forbidden memories. Lowering his arm from over his eyes, he saw Fraiser looking down at him. "The MRI is free now, Colonel. You’re on next."
"Great," he muttered, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and sitting up—his eyes meeting those of his captain as she on the edge of the bed across from him. She only met his gaze briefly before they skittered away, the look of humiliation and profound sadness present in them cutting him to the core. God, she must despise him....
//He panted, leaning heavily against the woman still pinned between him and the wall, her hands somehow stroking and caressing his hair, her voice a low whisper in his ear. "I love you, I love you." The same three words whispered over and over again until her voice finally trailed off and he’d recovered sufficiently to lower her slowly back to the floor, her legs sliding in a soft caress down his as he steadied her until she regained her balance. She had looked at him then, her eyes unguarded and brimming with what his fevered brain could only describe as love. The glint of the gaudy gold wall behind her brought him back to reality with a resounding crash. And not knowing what else to do, he had kissed her possessively, helped her to dress and once more became her commanding officer. //
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"So, what did you do once you had established you were in some sort of Goa’uld stronghold?"
"Well, I figured if they had been lying about the SGC, then they had been lying about other things as well and I went in search of the rest of my team." Out of the corner of his eye, Jack saw Sam’s eyes flicker briefly to his, before she looked down at the table once more. She had barely looked at him during the debriefing, or at anyone else for that matter.
"And, you found Captain Carter and Doctor Jackson?" Hammond prodded.
"Ah, yes, sir." He focused his attention on the General’s bald head, anything to keep his eyes from wandering towards Sam. "I found Carter first and liberated her from where she was being held, and then we went in search of Daniel." But not before he’d fucked her senseless. He glanced at her and found that she was looking right at him, her blue eyes filled with such anguish that he broke contact first, unable to bear the reproach he saw there.
"And once you found Doctor Jackson?"
Thankfully, Daniel broke in then and Jack sat back, dragging his eyes away from Sam and letting the younger man carry on the narrative from that point. O’Neill doodled on his pad, half-listening to Daniel’s narrative, nodding appropriately every now and then to show he was paying attention. He couldn’t help but keep glancing towards Sam, who kept her eyes focused on Daniel. If she was aware of his watchfulness, she didn’t show it. God, he needed to talk to her, explain to her, apologize to her. Though, he wasn’t sure his actions could ever be forgiven.
"Colonel?" Jack looked at Hammond, "If you don’t want to talk about it right now, I’ll understand." Shit, he must’ve missed something while he’d been lost in thought over Sam. What had Daniel just said? Oh right, Hathor taking them back to one of the cryo chambers.
"I really don’t remember all that much, sir." Jack suppressed a shiver, what he did remember was enough to send the chills racing up and down his spine. "There was a lot of pain, and I remember the Tok’ra doctor telling me to fight the snake, and then all I could feel was the cold." He didn’t add that he had fought the blending by focusing his thoughts on Sam, the intensity of his feelings for her helping him to cling to his sanity. He grimaced; "The next thing I knew after that was coming to and Hathor was attacking Carter. I could tell the bitch’s snake was gone out of me, so I took care of the Queen herself." He didn’t add that fear for Sam’s life was what had driven his cold and shivering body out of the cryo chamber. He hadn’t even been sure he’d be able to stand, much less fight off the more powerful Goa’uld, but the sound of Hathor’s voice as she mocked Sam along with the deadly hum of the ribbon device had given him the extra strength he’d needed to overpower Hathor and fling her into the cryo vat.
Hammond frowned, then cleared his throat, his normally impassive face taking on what Jack would have sworn was an almost apologetic look. "Which brings me to my next question." Hammond looked at Carter. "Captain Carter, Colonel Makepeace reports that he only authorized you to return to the facility to destroy the field generator?"
Jack’s head swiveled sharply from Hammond to Carter; she had disobeyed Makepeace in order to rescue him?
Sam looked directly at him then, her gaze direct and sure for the first time since they’d returned. "I couldn’t leave Colonel O’Neill behind. I knew it was a risk, but I deemed it to be an acceptable one at the time, sir."
Hammond nodded, "Very well, Captain." Looking at his watch, he closed the folder in front of him. "I believe that’s all I need right now. SG-1, you’re on stand down for seven days, pending your individual releases by Doctor Fraiser." Jack winced, so Fraiser had final say on when they could leave the mountain? Hammond stood, Jack followed suit, as did Sam and he was just about to follow her out the door when Hammond’s voice stopped him. "Colonel? A word in my office?"
Jack watched Carter as she left, her hips softly swaying in a way he found totally arousing, wishing for all the world that he could follow her, but...he followed Hammond to his office instead, the knot that had been in the pit of stomach since they’re return from Hathor’s planet recoiling and tightening. "Sit down, Jack." Hammond sat down behind his desk and Jack took one of the chairs, squirming a bit under the intense scrutiny from Hammond. His mind started racing — did the general know? A broad smile broke the older man’s face. "It’s good to have you back, son. I don’t mind telling you the situation appeared mighty grim there, for a while."
Jack let himself relax slightly. "Yeah, what was that all about anyway?" Jack tried to listen attentively while Hammond launched into an explanation about the politics behind SG-1’s rescue, but he couldn’t keep his mind from wandering to his captain. He really needed to talk to her, to explain....
"Now, about Captain Carter." Jack jerked his eyes back to Hammond, his heart racing. Shit, what about Carter? "I wouldn’t bring it up except Colonel Makepeace appears determined to make it an issue."
"Ah," Jack realized Hammond was referring to Carter’s little side trip to rescue him. "Well sir, if you’re looking for me to condemn her actions, I can’t."
"No, I wouldn’t ask that, son." Hammond chuckled, "I didn’t exactly follow proper protocol in engineering the promised back-up." His face sobered. "I will however be forced to note this in her record, but I believe the special circumstances surrounding her actions will outweigh any negative effects."
"Is that all, sir?" Jack asked hopefully, scooting to the edge of the chair, preparing to stand.
Hammond gestured for him to remain seated. "There is just one other matter. I will be recommending special commendations for all of the members of SG-1, Colonel — you included — for you actions during this mission."
Shit, so he was going to get a commendation for screwing Carter? He could just hear the General’s speech now. "Colonel O’Neill and Captain Carter, it is with great privilege and honor that the United States Air Force bestows upon each of you this ribbon of valor for going above and beyond the call of duty and fucking each other’s brains out while fighting the Goa’uld Hathor."
Jack tuned back into the General. "I’m also going to push forward Captain Carter’s promotion. It’s high time she was awarded the rank of Major."
"I agree, General. She has definitely performed beyond the call of duty." Hell, coming back for him, alone, was certainly well above the call of duty. Which had him wondering exactly why had she come back for him? When for all she knew, he was no longer Jack O’Neill but some unknown Goa’uld? A sudden thought struck him, could she actually share his feelings? No, he rationalized, it was more likely she had been so ingrained by his ‘no one gets left behind’ philosophy that she couldn’t have done otherwise! "If that’s all, sir?" Jack asked, risking rising to his feet this time.
Hammond nodded, "Get some rest, Jack. Enjoy your time off."
"Right," he muttered, exiting as quickly as deemed polite and went in search of his captain.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"So, can I leave, Janet?" Sam asked the doctor, who was just studying the latest results of her blood work. Sam tried to keep her demeanor calm, but she wasn’t sure how long Hammond would keep the Colonel and by the look in his eyes, she knew he would be seeking her out. And she just wasn’t ready for that; in fact she wasn’t sure when she’d ever be ready for that. She needed some time...and bless Hammond; he had just given her seven days. Now, if she could only get Fraiser to release her.
Janet finally looked up from her paperwork. "Everything looks good, Sam. You’re a little anemic, but it’s probably because you weren’t getting the nutrients you needed in whatever it was they were giving you intravenously." The doctor smiled at her, "Take your iron tablets and get out of here!"
Sam finally smiled, relief flooding her at Janet’s words. "Thanks, Janet." She hopped of the gurney just as Teal’c entered the room.
"I’ll be with you in a minute, Teal’c," Fraiser called out to him.
The large man nodded, and then stepped towards Sam as she approached. Drat, he was right in front of the door and it didn’t look like she’d be able to make her escape without talking to him. "You are looking well, Captain Carter."
"Ah, thanks, Teal’c. I’m feeling much better."
He inclined his head again. "Doctor Fraiser has released you?"
"Yeah," she started to sidle past him, "as a matter of fact I was just leaving."
"You are leaving the base?"
"Ah, yeah, Teal’c...going to head on home," she gestured towards Fraiser, "Now that I’ve been released."
"Enjoy your downtime, Captain Carter."
"Thanks, Teal’c, I will." She told him, finally squeezing past him and out into the hallway. She made a beeline for the locker room, anxiously praying with every step that she would be able to make her escape before the Colonel found her. Not even bothering to change out of her BDU’s, she grabbed her jacket, car keys and wallet and headed to the surface.
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He’d been to her lab, he’d backtracked and checked out the control room, he’d stuck his head in the commissary, and he’d even checked Daniel’s office — no Carter. Which left a limited number of locations where he might expect to find her. Sighing, he decided to brave the infirmary. If Carter wasn’t there, maybe he could at least get Fraiser to release him, and then he could continue his search. He poked his head cautiously around the corner of the infirmary door and saw Teal’c sitting on a bed with a thermometer stuck in his mouth.
"Hey, big guy, how ya’ doing?" Jack asked, entering the room, looking around casually for Carter. Damn, no sign of her.
Teal’c removed the thermometer from his mouth. "I am doing well, O’Neill."
"Teal’c!" Jack looked around at the sound of Fraiser’s voice. "Put that back in." Teal’c obeyed, Jack smirked at the Jaffa. "And Colonel, I’m glad you’re here as well." She gestured towards the gurney next to the one where Teal’c sat. "Have a seat." Teal’c raised an amused eyebrow at him, which Jack chose to ignore. "Take off your jacket, Colonel." O’Neill reluctantly did as directed. "I was just going to send a search party out for you, Colonel," Fraiser chided him as she wrapped the blood pressure cuff around his arm. "You were suppose to report here directly after the debriefing." She put her stethoscope in her ears and squeezed the bulb on the cuff. "It’s only been a little over twenty-four hours since your return." She was quiet then and Jack watched as the arrow on the manometer slowly went down. "Still a little low," she muttered, removing the cuff and then taking his pulse.
"You seen Carter, doc?" he asked.
"Shh..." she admonished, and he sat quietly then while she finished examining him. Once she seemed finished and was writing in his chart, he asked again. "Have you seen Carter, doc?"
Fraiser finally looked up from her writing. "She was in here just a few minutes ago."
"Captain Carter just left, O’Neill."
Jack looked at the Jaffa, his heart sinking. "She left? As in just left the infirmary or just left the mountain?"
"She has gone to her home."
Jack frowned. He’d have to track her down at her house, he guessed. "Thanks, Teal’c." He jumped off the bed then, shrugging into his BDU shirt. "So, I’m free to go, right doc?"
"Ah, no Colonel." She frowned at him. "Your vital signs and lab work are still a bit off, I want you here for twenty-four more hours, minimum."
"Doc!" he complained, "I feel fine!"
"No arguments, Colonel." She held up her hand in what could only be warning. "It has been less than forty-eight hours since you were possessed by a Goa’uld and then placed in some sort of cryogenic preservation, I just want you here on base a little longer before I okay your release."
Jack studied her somber expression, she was deadly serious and he knew better than to argue with her. She’d more than likely increased the time she held him if he gave her any lip! "All right, all right," he agreed, holding his hands up in surrender. "Twenty four more hours?"
"Minimum."
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Jack pounded on the door. "Carter!" No response. He pounded on the door again. He knew she was in there, her car was here and the damn lights were on. "Damn it, Carter! I’m not going away until you answer this door!" He hammered on the door again with his fist, wondering if he should just break one of the front windows. Looking around carefully, he couldn’t see any evidence of an alarm system. He was just stepping off the porch into the shrubs by the window when the door suddenly opened — as far as the security chain would allow.
"What do you want?" he barely heard her, her voice muffled behind the door.
He stepped back onto the porch, only half of her pale and drawn face was visible through the opening of the door. "I just want to talk," he tried taking a conciliatory tone.
She closed her eyes and rested her head against the doorjamb. "There’s nothing we need to talk about, sir."
He sighed, his hands clenching at his sides. "Carter..."
"No, sir," she looked at him through the crack in the door, her eyes wide and serious. "There is absolutely nothing we need to discuss."
He stared at her. Nothing they needed to discuss? Like hell! "Sam..."
She shook her head; her eyes were starting to look haunted. His gut twisted with her reply. "No, sir. Please...nothing happened." Her eyes were pleading with him now, a subtle tone of panic entering her voice. "Nothing we need to talk about."
He stared at her for a long moment, his heart slowly freezing inside of him. His expression became distant as he closed himself off from her—and his feelings for her. He nodded. "Right, Captain. Nothing we need to talk about." The door closed and he stood there, listening in frustration as the lock turned and then to the faint sounds of his captain crying.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She kept her silent vigil, waiting by the mirror, waiting for her team to return. Oh face it, Sam, she forced herself to acknowledge truthfully, you’re really only waiting for one member of the team to return, the Colonel...Jack. God knows it hadn’t been easy, but she’d managed to bury her feelings, the combination of despair and love that filled her very soul and had all but engulfed her after their indiscretion on P3X-254. She had grimly carried on as if nothing had happened, treating him with friendly respect and concern, never once letting her true feelings show. And then...Doctor Carter had appeared in their reality and Sam suddenly found herself face to face with another her who was free to love Jack O’Neill. It wasn’t fair, damn it! It just wasn’t fair!
The mirror suddenly sprang to life and she could just make out Daniel’s image on the other side. Sam called out to the SF’s standing just outside the door, "Notify General Hammond." He couldn’t have been too far away as only moments later he rushed into the room, watching with her at what — she could only surmise — were the good-byes between the occupants of the two different realities. Daniel and Teal’c faced the mirror and then suddenly appeared, their expressions subdued, yet pleased. Looking back to the mirror, anxious to see the Colonel, she caught her breath and could only watch in bewilderment and growing anger while he kissed Doctor Carter. She could feel Daniel hovering near her, his hand resting tentatively on her arm as if he sensed the recklessness growing within her and would hold her back should she attempt to leap through the mirror. She finally managed to drag her stunned eyes away from O’Neill and her twin, only to flinch and look the other way when she encountered Daniel’s sympathetic eyes, mere seconds before O’Neill dramatically materialized in their reality.
She didn’t look at him; she couldn’t trust herself right now, especially with Hammond in the same room. How could the Colonel kiss her? And hard on the heels of that thought came an even worse one — what else had he been doing with her? Sam felt a surge of nausea at the thought of O’Neill and her twin locked together in a passionate lover’s embrace. Putting a shaky hand to her eyes, she took a deep breath.
"Sam, are you okay?" Daniel whispered.
She shuddered, lowering her hand and managing to give him a weak smile. "Just glad to have you back."
"I take it your mission was success, Colonel?" Sam was vaguely aware of Hammond’s voice somewhere behind her.
"Piece of cake, General." She cringed, not even able to manage a smile at O’Neill’s cocky reply.
"We were indeed successful," Teal’c added. "Doctor Carter was able to contact their reality’s Asgard and Apophis was defeated." She glanced at Teal’c, his expression conveyed great satisfaction, Sam noted. And the Colonel — the Colonel looked smug. Her despair at seeing him with her twin unexpectedly gave way to fury and she clenched her fists to keep from hitting him! Though there was nothing she would have liked better at that moment than to slap that self-satisfied look off his face! She had to get herself under control! Rationally she knew she had no reason for her jealousy. She was the one who had refused to talk about what had happened between them on Hathor’s planet. She was the one who was making herself sick pretending nothing had changed between them, that they hadn’t screwed each other senseless. It took every ounce of self-control she had to act like they had never crossed that line and that she had never told him that she loved him. But by god, that didn’t mean he could kiss her twin!
"Okay, report to the infirmary, people." Hammond smiled, heading out the door. "We’ll debrief in sixty minutes."
Daniel and Teal’c were right behind him and somehow Sam found herself left alone in the room with O’Neill — something she usually tried to avoided at all costs. She gave him a half smile, without meeting his eyes and muttered, "See you at the debriefing."
"Carter?" He grabbed her arm, stopping her cold in her tracks, his still gloved hand heavy on her arm.
She closed her eyes, mustering her shaken reserves. Opening them again, she tried for calm. "Sir?" He looked at her for a long moment, and she couldn’t help think that he was comparing her to her twin. So alike and yet so different, she acknowledged bitterly.
"I know I asked you this before, but are you really okay with this twin thing?"
God! How dense could the man be? She could feel the wildness once more rising within her, but keenly aware of the two SF’s still guarding room, she hissed, "Not here." She turned and pulling her arm free, rushed out of the room, not really caring if he followed her or not. She rounded the corner and pulled open the stairwell door, heading up the one flight that would bring her to their locker room, the one place where they could have a private conversation.
"Carter? Wait up!" his voiced echoed up the stairs, followed by the heavy tread of booted feet pounding up the stairs. She ignored him, pushing the door open and hurrying on down the corridor to the locker room. He was right behind her by the time she reached the locker room, their hands colliding at the door handle; she quickly drew hers back and let him pull the door open. Hurrying in, she turned to confront him as he too entered, letting the door slam shut behind him.
"What the hell is going on, Carter?" His face and voice were laced with equal parts of confusion and irritation.
"You bastard!" she exploded, his whole ingenuous demeanor finally pushing her over the edge. "You kissed her! How the hell could you kiss her?" He simply looked blankly at her and when he didn’t reply, she turned her back to him, her anger beginning to fade once more into the bleak despair she’d carried around inside of her ever since their return from P3X-254. She heard movement, and then felt his hands on her shoulders.
"Sam," his appeasing tone did nothing to calm her, instead it had the opposite effect. She twisted under his touch and catching him by surprise, grabbed him by his vest and slammed him up against the door.
"You don’t have to kiss her," she muttered harshly, pressing her momentary advantage and bringing her mouth down on his. She was dimly aware of the look of utter surprise on his face before their lips met, and then she knew only the exquisite of relief of kissing him once more, her suppressed longing and desire spiraling out of control. Grasping his face between both her hands, she pressed her body into his, her mouth ravenous in her desire to taste him, to remind him of what they shared that one fateful time and to blot out his memory of kissing her twin. She heard the muffled groan that escaped him, and then felt her world spin dizzily as his arms closed tightly around her and he quickly turned, pinning her up against the door with the hard planes of his body.
She whimpered; kissing and biting at his lips as she squirmed against him, trying to wrap one of her legs around him, desperate to get as close to him as she could. He groaned again as she moved against him, and then she gasped when he grasped her wrists, pinning her arms to the wall, his body pressing so heavily against hers that she couldn’t move at all and could barely breath. She finally surrendered, turning her hot face into his throat and taking deep, shuddering breaths, trying to bring herself back under control.
"Easy, Sam," he whispered, still holding her firmly. "This isn’t the time or the place." His voice was ragged, but gentle and she felt herself starting to calm down. She let herself relax even more against him and he released her wrists, pulling her into a tender embrace, his hands running soothingly up and down her back. "Go home. I’ll take care of things with Hammond and then I’ll come to your place. Okay?"
She nodded her head against his chest and he slowly let his arms fall from around her. He stepped back, and she looked down at her feet, not quite able to meet his eyes after her totally unexpected and wanton behavior. He put a gentle hand under her chin though, forcing her eyes to his. She reluctantly looked at him, not sure what she would see in his brown eyes, the caution she saw not totally unexpected. She gave him a tentative smile, and he nodded, his expression still unreadable. "That’s my Sam." He softly stroked her cheek in a delicate caress. "I’ll be there as soon as I can."
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She stood quietly in the doorway, her expression tender as she looked at the man sleeping in her bed. She sighed, was this what their relationship was going to be? Frantic couplings after life and death missions with no commitment, no involvement beyond the physical? It was great sex...but still just sex.
//The front door had barely closed before she was in his arms, unclear as to which of them had instigated the greedy embrace; just relieved that he was finally here, and she was in his arms again. She clutched wildly at his head, threading her fingers through his hair, trying to hold him still so she could drink from his lips.//
She had really thought she could handle just being his colleague, his subordinate. The past two months had shown her just how hard that was. And even though she had forced the Colonel to ignore what had happened between them on P3X-254, it was still ever present between them. She sighed, tugging her robe a little tighter around her in the cool night air.
//He pressed her against the wall, his lips ravenous as his tongue swept into the recesses of her mouth. She ran her hands down his back, grabbing his ass and grinding her pelvis against his. She dimly realized they were once more racing out of control, but was helpless to stop. His hands were busy as well, tugging at her blouse, fumbling with the catch on her bra until it loosened. She finally managed to whisper, "The bedroom." He released her, however reluctantly, and she grabbed his hand and pulled him down the hall after her.//
She silently closed the door and made her way to the kitchen. Pouring water into the electric kettle, she got her Sleepy Time tea ready. The past seventy-two hours had shown her that she wasn’t dealing so spectacularly with her love for him. For crying out loud! She had been jealous of herself! Jealous that somewhere another ‘her’ had the right to love another ‘him’, while all she had the right to do was...nothing. The kettle started to whistle and she quickly unplugged it, not wanting Jack to waken quite yet.
//They fell to the bed, Jack cushioning her fall and then kneeling between her spread thighs, his hands busy tugging at the fastening of her jeans. She shrugged out of her blouse and bra while he made fast work of her jeans and panties. He paused momentarily, his eyes heavy-lidded with desire as he stared at her. "God, Sam, you’re beautiful," he whispered, reaching out and gently caressing one breast. Her lips curved in a sultry smile and she held her arms out to him. He quickly maneuvered out of his clothing and then he was on her, his heavy weight pressing her into the mattress. //
She fished the teabag out of her mug and added a teaspoon of sage honey, stirring until all the honey had dissolved. Taking a cautious sip, she sighed, just right. She almost laughed out loud then; at least something was right! God, they had to talk and do something...about whatever this was that they had! She slowly walked into the living room, turning on the small table lamp and curling up on the sofa, pulling the afghan resting there around her. She sipped at her tea, letting the calming effect of the sweet herbal blend soothe her. It wouldn’t be easy, there would have to be compromises on both their parts...and decisions made regarding just how they would handle Hammond. But basically, it didn’t matter to her anymore. What mattered was that she still had the opportunity to be with him...with her Jack, the man she loved beyond reason and regulation.
//"Jack, please..." she sobbed his name, tugging urgently at his hips, urging him on with breathless cries of encouragement. Flexing her knees even more, she opened herself completely to him. She heard a low rumble start deep in his chest and then his whole body tensed and he drove deeply into her. She wrapped her legs around his hips, holding him even tighter as he started thrusting heavily. Oh god, it was even better than the last time, she thought hazily. She moved effortlessly with him, and soon their combined movements brought her to the peak, her body arching against his as her orgasm rippled through her. His release soon followed, and she held him close as he convulsed against her, her name a ragged cry on his lips.//
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Jack groaned, rolling over and then suddenly sitting upright, looking around the unfamiliar room in momentary confusion. Where the hell was he? The details slowly started to surface as he woke completely. Shit, he was at Carter’s....
//He barely heard the door slam behind him as Sam launched herself into his arms. The desire that had never completely died down from their earlier encounter flared to sudden life and Jack found himself helplessly returning her frantic kisses. Whatever he had planned on saying lost beneath the onslaught of their mutual passion.//
Fuck...he ran his hand through his hair. All his good intentions had gone down the drain at the first touch of her soft body up against his. Fumbling for the bedside lamp, he finally managed to turn it on and looked curiously around Sam’s bedroom. Neat and tidy, feminine in an un-fussy way, just like what he’d expect from Sam.
//He found himself pressing her up against the wall — again; his reckless desire for her flashing out of control. She pulled him closer, her hands clutching at his ass as he ground his pelvis against her softness. Easing back slightly, he tugged her blouse out of her jeans, his nimble fingers working up the front placket, popping the buttons and then sliding his hand around her back and loosing the catch on her bra. He heard her whisper, "The bedroom," and catching her hand in his, followed her down the hall. //
He looked around for his boxers, finally spotting them and his T-shirt on the floor by the bed. He got up and stretched, feeling strangely relaxed and satisfied — at least physically. He pulled on his boxers, so much for sorting out his relationship with Carter. The two times they’d made love, if you could call it that he thought wryly, had been phenomenal. She responded to him as if she had been made for him alone. But, as good as it was...he needed more, and if her uncharacteristic actions earlier today had been any indication, so did she. He never should have let her get away with not talking about what had happened between them on Hathor’s planet.
//He followed her down onto the bed, bracing himself so that he didn’t land on top of her. Settling between her spread thighs, he became intent on only one thing — having her naked beneath him. He stripped off her jeans, grinning ferally as she struggled out of her blouse and bra. And then she was naked before him, his breath caught momentarily. "God, Sam, you’re beautiful." His hand trembled as he reached out and caressed a pale breast. She smiled then, her lips curving in that special way that sent shivers up and down his spine. He couldn’t get out of his clothes fast enough, finally covering her soft body with his own. //
He took a deep breath and left the bedroom, his instincts guiding him to her living room. He silently stood in the hall, watching her. She hadn’t realized he was there yet. She was curled up on the sofa, her blonde hair shining in the soft glow of the single lamp, her face in profile to him. God, she was so beautiful, and brilliant, and wonderful...and she loved him. He frowned, at least, she had told him that once. He could only pray that she had meant it and that she still did love him.
//He swept his hands down her body, urging her knees up until she cradled him between her strong thighs. He heard his name, "Jack, please...." Her hands were cool against his hips, tugging him closer, urging him towards their ultimate goal. He growled and gripped her hips, thrusting his rock hard penis into her snug channel. She seemed to melt around him even as her legs clamped around his waist, luring him deeper into her silky depths. He rode her hard, finding not only pleasure in their joining, but a deeper intimacy as well. It wasn’t long before he felt her body tense beneath him and her soft moans as her climax started, her body contracting insistently around him and bringing on his own release. "Sam," he ground out harshly, surrendering to ecstasy.//
"Hey," he murmured, padding into the room. Her head jerked towards him, and she gave him a slight smile. He smiled back tentatively, stepping over the coffee table and sitting down next to her. "So...we need to talk."
Relief mingled with hope surged through him as she set her mug down and sat up a little bit straighter, her voice firm as she replied, "Yes, we do."
THE END