"Jack's Christmas Wish" By Tiffany Flowers

TITLE: Jack's Christmas Wish

AUTHOR: Tiffany Flowers

RATING: NC17 (just in case)

STATUS: Complete

SUMMARY: Will Jack's Christmas wish come true?

CATEGORY: Christmas Fic and S/J Romance. Jack's POV.

SPOILERS: Upgrades/Divide And Conquer story arc, StarGate: The Movie, In The Line Of Duty, A Hundred Days {shudder}, Window Of Opportunity and Jolinar's Memories/The Devil You Know story arc. Yes, in that order. :p

ARCHIVE: Sam and Jack, Heliopolis and TandA's SG-1 Archive. All others PLEASE ask first.

DISCLAIMERS: I own nothing but the story and its plot- lines. SG-1 belongs to MGM, Gekko, Double Secret and Showtime. I did NOT make any money from this fan fiction. This is for entertainment purposes only.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: The songs, "You're My Angel" is written by, Greg Humphery and Michael Smotherman for Brooks and Dunn. "Heaven Must Be Missin' You" is written by Mark McGuinn and Trey Matthews for Mark McGuinn. The credit goes to these fellas for the great and wonderful Sam and Jack songs. Enjoy. The B&D song is on the "If You See Her" album and Mark McGuinn's song is on his title CD, "Mark McGuinn". Good CD's I recommend them. Thanks to Alexandra, who spends countless hours perfecting our archive. Without her, I don't know where my fics would be! Thanks, Alex! :)

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"You're an angel
   A gift from above
   I thank God every day for givin' up so much"
          -Mark McGuinn- "Heaven Must Be Missin' You"

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As I sit here in my living room, dreading the up coming holiday in the next few hours, I think about the one thing that I could possibly want on this entire Earth. The one thing I can't have. The one thing that my heart would kill for. Major Samantha Carter. She is what I desire to have.

Leaning over to take hold of my stereo remote, I hit 'power' and let it surf through the CD player's routine and deducing whether or not a certain slot has a disc in it or not. When it's done, I hit 'play' and begin to listen to the first disc and its first track. I don't like it, so I change it to the next one. When I hear the song begin, I pause to listen intently to the words.

~I try not to think about it
Livin' this life without you~

I think about the time when Carter and I were trapped on opposite sides of a Goa'uld force shield and I was helpless to help her. // "Just go!" Carter yells, her emotions in her voice. I jump up from the task of beating the control panel to death. "NO!" I scream, terror in my voice. Terror of losing her this way. Terror of losing her at all. I don't think I could do it. I don't think I can live without her. // The memory is like it happened yesterday. The tears flowing freely down her face, her eyes filling with regrets and begging for forgiveness. I had felt my own tears fall down my face, wishing harder that I could get her out of there. Then the C-4 blew, granting my wish to save the woman I love.

~I don't think of lettin' go
When I wrap my arms around you~

I can only think of one time that I seriously wrapped my arms around Carter. I had wrapped my arms around her to get her to leave Nassya. Later, I found out that she had been possessed by one of those snakes. Jolinar. I thought I was going to lose her then, too. I thought that Jolinar was going to take her away from me for good. I thought that thing was going to steal her away from my arms and my thoughts. Thanks to Jolinar, Carter lived and was able to be around for me when things got bad. I was there for Carter, too.

   ~You're an angel
     A gift from above
     I thank God every day for givin' up so much~

I think Carter was sent to my as my angel in a time when I had just come out of a dark place. Thanks to Daniel for that one. But I believe Carter was sent to me to bring me further out of my shell and make me the better person that I am now. I think I owe her a whole hell of a lot more than I've given her credit for or shown to her. I need to pay her back for all the times she's been so generous to me when I didn't deserve her to be.

   ~If the good Lord comes and takes you home tonight
    Can't say that I would blame Him
    For wanting you back by His side
    I'd be a lonely man
    But Baby I'd understand
    He's the only one who loves you more than I do
    I know Heaven must be missin' you

    Tell me where do you hide your wings
    They've got to be here someplace
    What a beautiful disguise
    But your heart gives you away
    I don't know what I did to deserve
    Someone like you
    Here on Earth~

As the chorus repeats a couple of times, I suddenly think about how true this song is to Carter. She is my angel in disguise. What a great disguise it is, too! Those full, energizing, spirit-capturing blue eyes, her heavenly golden hair and her wonderful and endless supply of patience when it comes to me. Where does she hide it? I sometimes wonder how I got so lucky to have Carter in my life. I would probably be back to where I was before the first Abydos mission. Glad that General Hammond called me out of retirement. // "Just remember, I retired. You wanted me back." I tell the general, looking at him from my position on my back on the ramp of the Stargate. // I'm glad that Carter has stuck by me, even when I was a complete asshole. I seriously don't deserve her. I think sometimes she'd be better off back at the Pentagon, doing what she was doing there. At least there, she'd have been safe, safe from the Goa'uld, safe from the dangers of the Stargate, safe from me. Oh, God, what have I done to her?

I have been so in thought, I didn't hear the CD's change and play through the second one. Geez, I must be reflecting too much in my old age. I got to quit doing that. Make a memo of that, Jack. I listen to Brooks and Dunn sing about how they've been South of Santa Fe. When that song ends, I hit the 'track skip' button, not wanting to hear Reba McIntyre and the boys talking about lost love and still missing them. Suddenly, I'm brought back to reality by a knock on my front door. Looking at the clock on my VCR, I notice it's 2145. Kinda odd for me to bet getting
visitors at this time of night. I set the CD to track number nine and get up to answer the door. When I open the door, the face I see is the last face that I would expect to see in this cold, snowy, icy and white weather. She stands in front of me, her nose, cheeks and ears red from the obviously frosty temperature. She sniffles to keep her nose from running. I step aside
to let her in and take her coat once she crosses the threshold into the warmth of my house. She quietly thanks me and sits on the couch. I go to the fireplace and start a fire to warm her and the rest of the house. After the fire gets going, I head to the hall closet and grab an afghan and wrap her in it, hoping it will warm her up. "Brooks and Dunn?" She asks, wondering why I'm
listening to country. I'm not a real big country fan, but I have a few country CD's in my collection. "Why not Brooks and Dunn?" I ask, grinning slightly. "Just didn't peg you as a country fan. More of a classical kind of guy, that's all." She replies, blowing on her fingers and then rubbing them on her thighs. "Be right back, Carter." I say softly, heading to the kitchen to boil some water for hot chocolate. I know that will warm her up. After a couple of minutes, the water begins to bubble and I pour it into our cups, pick them up off the counter and head back to the living room. I had Carter her cup and she accepts it with great appreciation.

~You're my angel, you see me through
Believe in me, I'll believe in you~

I hear the words and think instantly of the time that I was trapped on Edora for three months. Carter spent all of that time trying to find ways of getting me home. Even though I didn't show it, I had faith in her abilities. But is it really her abilities that I am in love with? I know I don't deserve her now. She seems to show me that she has faith in me when, in fact, she shouldn't.

~Oh fill my heart from your loving well
You're my angel~

I am now looking into her haunting blue eyes and I suddenly lose myself in their depths, wondering how blue they can really get in the heat of passion. I shake my head to dislodge that thought and look instead to the flames of the fire. A fire that burns similarly in my heart and gut. I know this feeling. I had the same gut-wrenching, groin-tightening feeling when I dipped Carter in the Control Room, during the time loops, and kissed her like there was no tomorrow.
That same heat burns in me, even now.

   ~Pick me up when I'm feeling down
    When I stumble on shaky ground
    Oh you're my answer when I can't tell
    You're my angel

Oh you take me up to heaven
When you spread you loving wings

When I am weary and way behind
When I'm clearly out of my mind~

'Or three fries short of a Happy Meal.' I think silently, thinking back to the time when I explained to Teal'c what "lose it" meant. At the end, I had decorated a plate, held it up and screamed, "WACKO!", causing Teal'c to look at me with an arched brow like he always does.

   ~Oh when I find I'm in hell
    You're my angel
    Oh you're my angel~

I remember the time when we went to the Hell planet--Netu, I think--to rescue Jacob. even though we were tortured and bruised, Carter still glowed with her beauty. I honestly don't know how she does it. She could be covered in mud, dirt and grime and I'd still be in love with her. She is the sexiest thing when it comes to her being covered in dirt and mud. Oy! Boy, does she ever! As we listen to the song come to a close, I see that Carter has gotten warmer and is now staring into the flames like I was. I slide my eyes to her and that's when she looks at me. She turns her face to look me directly into my brown eyes, which are mesmerized by her enchanting stare. As I stare at her, I hear the Brooks and Dunn song repeat. I don't know how it did that, but I welcome it. I swallow hard, not knowing what's going to happen. She places her mug on the coffee table, removes mine and sets it next to hers, and then places her hands in mine. I swallow again. Why do I suddenly feel like a teenager? I swear! I take a deep breath as she leans in and places a kiss on my right cheek. She pulls back and smiles. I grin slightly, wondering what that was for. "For the warmth and kindness." She responds, as if reading my mind. "No problem. Think nothing of it." I say, suddenly stumbling over my words. I don't know what else to say and I don't care what brought her here at this hour. I'm just glad she's here to be with me. "Jack, I mean it. I appreciate it." Carter says, taking my right hand in hers again. Oh, God how right that feels to have her small, delicate hands in mine. What I wouldn't give to have that for the rest of our lives. "Well," I pause to swallow, wondering if what I'm
about to say is over the line. "Since the roads are probably slick as hell, it's best if you stay the night now." "Thanks, Colonel." Carter says, kicking off her shoes and moving to sit directly in front of the fire, the afghan still around her small frame. She's staring so intently at the fire, that she doesn't see me move to sit behind her. I sit behind her back and rub my hands on her upper arms, knowing that she's warm at this point with the exception of her toes. She welcomes the gesture and leans against my chest as I continue to rub her arms
slowly. She brings her arms out of the blanket and places her hands on my thighs and lightly rubs her fingers against the material of the jeans that I am wearing. My body responds accordingly. She lays her head back on my right shoulder and I notice her eyes are closed. Without thinking, I place a kiss on her forehead, nose, both cheeks and finally her lips. The kiss to her lips is soft, gentle and full of the love I have for her. Not the passion that I feel, just the love. She responds in return, not fighting against it. I feel her left hand lace its fingers in my hair, causing me to shiver with delight. I pull back and turn her around to face me. She sits facing me, her legs straddling mine. I pull her to me, placing her legs behind my back, making her sit on my lap. She has both of her hands in my hair and mine in hers. I pull her to my lips and kiss her deeply, pouring five and a half years into it. I can
suddenly feel the unresolved sexual tension lift as I deepen the kiss by tracing Carter's lips with my tongue. She opens her mouth and I begin to duel with her tongue. I then lay her on her back on the carpeted floor in front of the fire, taking care not to rush her. I will stop if she asks me to, but she doesn't and I continue to take her into my soul. I feel her hands pull the T-shirt from my jeans and her slightly chilled fingers on my flesh-heated back, causing me to jerk back in shock. "Them are cold, Carter!" I exclaim at the sudden coldness of her touch, but the look in my eyes and in my voice is of laughter. She just looks at me and shrugs her shoulders, trying not to laugh herself. I then lean back down and pick up where I left off. Her
fingers now warm, continue to trail up and down my spine. I let my hands travel to Carter's button-up shirt and start to open the buttons. She removes my shirt and tosses it onto the couch and turns her attention to my Levi's. I slowly remove her shirt and toss it next to mine, then turn to her own jeans. She slowly opens the button and fly of mine, running her hands up
over my chest and back down, rounding to find my lower back and runs her nails up my back. I bite back a groan of pleasure as she does this. I look down at her and proceed to undo her jeans' fly. When I finally get it open, Carter takes my mouth in hers, plunging her tongue into my mouth. I can only do the same. Suddenly, I find myself on my back, Carter above me, running her fingernails over my lightly-haired chest and down to my washboard stomach. She stops just
above the hem of my boxers, running her fingers back up, tormenting me. She leans down and places her lips on my chest, trailing her kisses up to my neck, taking my earlobe in her mouth and sucks on it. She then releases the lobe and moves back down to my stomach, tracing my navel with her tongue. I can't stand it any more. I wrap my arms around Carter's waist and propel
myself upward and flip her so that she's under me. I grab her into my arms and walk to my bedroom. I place her on the bed and remove her jeans slowly. While I'm at it, I remove my own as well. I then go back to where she lays and trail my own kisses up her stomach to her neck. I pause at her carotid artery and I can feel the pounding of her beating pulse. I know my heart is doing the same. I trail my kisses back down to just under her navel, when I suddenly feel her hands in my hair again. I look up and her eyes have glazed over with passion. She brings me to her lips and I feel like she's trying to devour me whole. I break for much needed air and I can see the need in her passion-filled eyes. I remove the remaining garments of her clothing, I toss them aside as I do my boxers. I feel her hands slowly trial up and down my back, down to my ass and back up. I place my arms on either side of her head and look deep into her eyes, asking permission to take pleasure in the one thing that is most important to me. The look of desire is enough to answer my question and consume my mind. Slowly, I enter Carter and I can feel her body arch under mine as our bodies and souls finally join as one. Her fingers dig into my shoulders, causing me to hiss with pleasure and excitement. I begin a hypnotic rhythm and she follows suit, picking up a speed of her own. I feel her hips bucking wildly under me and I
lace my fingers in her hair, carefully making fists to make her look at me. She does and she slows her actions. I build up my speed and she begins to move faster as I do. Suddenly, at the same time, Carter and I break over the precipice of our long-time encased tension. I feel her tighten around me, causing me to spasm into her. I can't help but yell out her name in pure, uncontrolled emotion. "SAM!" I yell, releasing my soul into hers. "JACK!" She screams at the same time. I can feel her body clench onto mine as if her life depends on it. I relax against her shoulder, both of us sweat-covered and exhausted. But happy in the ecstasy of what just happened. I roll to the right of Carter, pulling her to my left side. My fingers find her hair
and begin to bury themselves in her mass of blonde locks. "I love you, Jack." Sam whispers, breaking me out my thoughts. I look at her, a tear running down to my left ear. How I've longed to hear her say those words to me. How long have I waited for her to say those words? I ask myself. It seems like an eternity. "I love you too, Sam." I say, not using 'Carter' like I always do. I know I am able to think of her as 'Sam' now. Not Carter. She and I hold each other as we drift off to sleep. Just as I'm about to fall into unconsciousness, I think I hear a voice coming from a dark corner. "You got your wish, Jack. Merry Christmas, buddy." Charlie Kawalsky says, his image in the corner from where I thought the voice came from. I look at him and my mouth opens wide. "Kawalsky? What are you doing here?" I ask in a harsh whisper, as not to wake Sam. "Think of me as your Christmas angel, Jack. You wanted Sam, you got her. That was your wish. Take care her, pal." Charlie says to me and then vanishes. "I will Charlie. I promise." I say, looking at Sam when I say the last two words. I won't let anything happen to her again. Well, I'll at least try. I can't stop the world from happening. At least I got the best part of it, though.

THE END??????