"All I Have To Give" By Nikki H

Title: All i have to give

Rating: M, Angst.

Summary: Sam falls in love.....with someone else. But is she really?

Archive: SJA yes, Helipothis yes.

Disclamier: I own absolutly nothing. I don't even own my computer!

Authors note: Oh please, oh please give me feed back!!!

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"I don't know
What he does to make you cry,
But i'll be there to make you smile.
I don't have a fancy car,
To get to you i'd walk a thousand miles."

That's true. I'd walk to the ends of the earth just to see her. But as we dance togther slowly, her head burried in my shoulder, i know that i wont have to walk very far. She's here now, with me, holding me tight and telling me to hold her.

"I don't care,
If he buys you nice things,
Does his gifts come from the heart?
I don't know,
But if you where my girl,
I'd make it so we'd never be apart."

That's true too. He bought her all nice things, pretty, expensive things. Things that where more valuable than my life. But in the end, the dimonds and the pearls didn't replace the love he didn't give her. Instead, i'm here now. I'm the one who is picking up the pieces and slowly piecing them back together.

"But my love is all i have to give,
Without you i don't know how to live,
I wish i could give the world to you,
But my love is all i have to give, to you."

Once again i feel the meaning of the words. Sam does too. She graps hold of my shirt and i feel the damp tears stain my shirt. If i didn't love her so much, i would of killed him. Would of grapped the nearest object and pulled him to pieces. Not even seeing him die a slow painful death, would make up for how she feels. Used, betrayed.

"When you talk,
Does it seem like he's not even listening to a word you say,
That's ok Babe,
Just tell me your problems,
I'll try my very best to kiss them all away."

I guess i should start from the begining. I wasn't like i didn't know she was dating someone else, i guess i knew deep down, but didn't want to admit that another man had hold of what was mine. But when she had kissed him at the bar that night, i felt the world collaspe under me, and if not for the others being there, i would of probably burst into tears. Imagine that. A full grown man, bursting into tears and sobbing like a 4 year old. That's what i felt like doing that night.

But i stayed strong. Smiled at Sam and wished her the best. I saw the shock in her eyes, when i offered to go so she could spend time alone with her new 'boyfriend'. But he'd taken over and said that he didn't want to catch 'herpis' in a 'flyboy' club and pulled her out the door. How rude is that? I mean it was a clean, average bar. Herpis. The nerve.

Sam had appologised for him though, said that 'Will' hadn't meant it like that. Oh yeah, what kind of a pussy name was 'Will' anyway? So we all kind of adjusted to Sam leaving early to go and see him. I wouldn't admit it at the time, but i envied him like anything. I mean the way Sam would look when she talked about him. Her eyes would light up at his name and she would tell us all the places she'd been too.

" But my love is all i have to give,
Without you i don't think i could live,
I wish i could give the world to you,
But love is all i have to give,
To you."

At first we all kind of strugged and said 'good for you'. But we soon got used to sitting around the fire listening to her talk about all the rich people she had met and all the exotic places he had taken her. We often laughed and joked that she was our human tour book. She had grinned at that, but soon her stories became shorter.

Missions where spent asking her if she was okay and if he had stopped taking her out. We should of noticed then that something was up, but we felt like we were prying. I certainly hated Will, but i would do anything to see her happy. So i stood back, and even smiled when we would see Will. Which was hardly ever.

"Hey girl, [hey girl]
I don't want you to cry no more, inside.
Ohhh, all the money in the world,
can never add up too,
all the love i have inside."

Daniel had noticed too, that Sam wasn't talking much and we agreed to ask her about it. But 5 months after being with this 'Will' guy, she came to work with the biggest shinner i had ever seen. She egnored our questioning and said that Will had bought her a dimond necklace and she got such a shock that she had fainted and in the procces hit her head on the coffee table.

Unlikely story. Even Janet didn't belive it. But we couldn't do much, since Sam denied he'd ever raised a hand at her. That's when it started. She stayed at the base longer the nessasary, was always the first one to work, and would sometimes crash at my house on poker nights.

I asked her if she was ok, but she said she was fine and made a joke about what a clutz she was. But it wasn't until we saw the brusies on her rib cage that we got worried. Sam had been leaning over to dial, when her shirt had lifted up and Daniel spotted it.

"Sam." Daniel had called out, but she had egnored him until i approached her. She had admitted that he came home drunk, and they had gotten into a fight. But she laughed and said that i should see the shinner on Will. I was really worried about her. I mean there was a physcopath living with her, oh yeah, he moved in with her too, and he was beating the hell out of her. She said she deserved it though, i didn't believe her. No woman deserves to have a hand raised to her.

So time dragged on, the months crept by and things seemed to settle. She was smiling again, occasionally laughing at on of his jokes, and he though just maybe this would go back to normal.

But i was wrong. Oh so very wrong . I shake his head, thinking about it and what had come.........

"Hey Danny, isn't that the lovely Will?" I had asked Daniel while we walked out of the liqor shop. I pointed to Will who was standing across the street talking to a tall brunette, who was rubbing her pregnant stomach.

"Yeah, do you think we should say hi?" Daniel said also seeing Will across the street. "I mean, just to be polite and....oh my god." Daniel stopped midsentance and i turned to see what was wrong.

Across the street in broad daylight was Will, kissing the bruntte woman. But not just kissing, but litterally trying to see if he could manage his tounge down to her throat and down to her stomach. The bottles of beer fell from our hands and smashed to the floor. We just stood there, too shocked to move.

"What's wrong, you see a mouse?" Sam had said, bounding up to us. We must of looked like a pair of fish, our mouths opening and shutting. "What's the matter, cat got your tounge?" She had asked. All we could do was point, but when Sam turned to see, he had gone and their was a pair of ederly men standing there. "You look in the mirror or something?" Sam said laughing at the old men.

We should of told her that day, but we didn't. Daniel argued that we shouldn't tell her and that we should let Will tell her himself. So we waited for what seemed to be forever. But Sam never said anything, so neither did we.

After a while Daniel and i figured it was a one off thing. Sam's bruises where gone and she seemed chirper. But something deep down in my stomach had bugged me. Infact, i should of listened to my gut right then and there. But we didn't do anything. God, we should of. For Sam's sake..............

The song finished and Sam sighed. I looked down at her, and wiped away the tears in her eyes. She smiled slowly aand leant into my palm. "God, i must be the stupidist women in the world." She said, still leaning against me.

Another song came on the car radio and i couldn't think of anything more than wrapping her in my jacket and telling her it was all a dream. Instead she wraps her arms around me, and seeks warmth from the cold air, around us.

"No your not." I whisper. "Your perfect the way you are." I whisper, and i feel her smile against my cheast. I pull her tighter towards me and rest my chin on her head. Mentally i kicking myself for being so selfish and not telling Sam when we first saw Will cheating. Little did we know it wasn't the first time.........or the last time.

"Sir, i don't want to go home." Sam wimpered into my shirt. I don't blame her. I wouldn't want to go home ever again. But i don't say that, instead i kiss the top of her head and whisper words of reasurance. I'll kill him later. Really i will.

Maybe i should explain why i'm here and why Sam is crying in my arms. Well i told about our first encounter with Will and his mistress. We hoped it would be the last. It wasn't. Infact as we stand here under the dim lights of the car, it's probably still going on.

It all started last night. Sam never showed up for the bedriefing. Nor did she answer any of our calls. Not even Janet's. So Daniel and i took it upon ourselves to find out what exactly was happening to our friend. When we arrived, we could hear the shouting and the cursing. But as we ran up the stairs, we heard the glass smash and heard Sam screaming.

Taking the steps two at a time, we arrived to see her house in shambles. Thankfully Sam wasn't hurt, infact she looked down right pissed. She was screaming at him to get out. But as we moved closer, i could see that he was drunk and was stumbling towards her, mumbling words of love and comfort.

She threw him off her and stalked away. Daniel called out, but they didn't seem to hear us. I doubt they could of heard a tornado ripping past them. We'd all seem Sam in one of her moods, but she never flew out of control or anything like that. But as we watched, we felt frightened and like we didn't know this stranger infront of us. She was screaming and cursing like a drunken salior, saying words that even i would blush at.

Will didn't seem to notice. He got on his hands and needs and grapped her hands. Clearly she wasn't listening until he pulled out a ring. Daniel and i started to back out of the house, not wanting to inturde on the now embracing couple. But inside i was screaming. I felt like jumping off the nearest bridge. She was engaged now. Somehow, when she was dating, i figured that it would end eventally and i could tell her how i feel. BUt now i would never have the chance.

I really thought she would hate me if i told her. I was wrong, i should of told her a long time ago. But i couldn't. THe coward that i am. I stood in the wings and watched her fall in love and then be hurt. I'll forever punish myself for that, but i can't do anything to change that now. Instead all i can do is make sure she's happy. And that's what was important in the long run.

But damn. I should of told her. Instead after Daniel and i left the house we agreed that we would wait until Sam told us herself. I dreaded hearing the words from her mouth. Feared that now she would leave the stargate and me. That's what i was afraid of most. That i would never see her again. Maybe that's why i dragged Daniel and Teal'c over to her house that night. Daniel must of known that i was upset, and didn't argue when we pulled up to the house.

We where just climbing the stairs when we saw Sam pull into the drive way. She was smiling ear from ear and her eyes danced about with glee. Grapping our hands she pulled us up to the house and started to unlock it. We tropped in after her as she called out looking for Will. We could hear sounds coming from inside the bedroom, so we flopped on the couch while she went to great her fiancee.

I've seen her so hurt. Walking into the bed room we heard her scream. Dashing across the room, we ran to see what was wrong. The world seemed to stop as we entered the room. Sam stood in total shock, her hand covering her mouth. She turned and pushed away from us and fled. I looked up to see what was wrong and frowned.

There her fiancee was in bed with....another man. Both lay naked and sprawled on the bed. I heard Daniel throw up beside me and i swore. We backed away. All of us. We didn't want to see the sight before us. I turned to look for Sam, but she was gone. The door open wide.

I ran to the door, but she was gone. Her car was still in the driveway and i figured she had run away on foot. We split up and went to search for her. All of us cursing our selves for not telling her sooner. But we where still in shock ourselves.

We searched all night and all day until i found her. I called Daniel to tell him i found her and pulled my car to a stop. She sat on the bridge pole over looking the gushing water underneath. I slowled my movements, as not to scare her and reached out for her. I expected her to hit more or tell me to go away. But instead she threw herself into my arms and cried her broken heart out.

I managed to move ourselves from the bridge ledge and pull her onto the ground with me. She didn't seem to notice. She just kept on crying until there where no more tears to shed. I'll kill him. I will. Just watch me.

So now, we stand here still, listening to the radio playing in my car and i'm just holding her. I wish for all the right words to say, but i can't think of anything to say. SHe sniff's and look's up at me. Her eyes are no longer painfull and full of regret. Her eyes are filled with hope and determination.

Sam was always the strong one. Stronger then all of us put together. She broke away from me and i wondered if i'd done something wrong. She pulled me with her and i dumbly followed her to the edge of the bridge. "Sam?" I ask worrid that she's thinking about committing sucide. Hell i wont let her. If she's gonna jump, then i'm gonna jump.

She smiles, reading my thoughts. SHe holds up the ring will had given her. She sniffed and then threw it down into the waters bellow. The dimond incrusted ring disapearing into the murky raging waters. SHe looked at me and smiled, but her chin was trembling.

I wrapped her in my arms and pulled her close. "Shhh, i wont let any one hurt you." I sooth. I don't even realise i'm saying it. I can't help it. The words contiue to come and i embrace them. "Shhhh. It's gonna be alright. I promise, i'm here now." She seems to appreciate my comforts and holds me tighter.

"Don't let go. Jack.Please, don't let go." SHe pleads, burrying her head into my neck. I nodd and kiss her temple as a promise. I pull her towards the car and she shrinks back. I can tell she thinks i'm going to take her back. I shake my head and pull her into the car.

"I'll take you to Janets." I whisper and she shakes her head, pulling at my hand. "Daniels?" I ask confused. SHe shakes her head again and i hug her. "I'll take you home." And she undertands what i mean by home. Her real home. She smiles and i close her door. Making sure she's all buckled in i begin the long drive home.

I still can't belive she ran all the way to this bridge. It's the same bridge i come too, when i'm feeling alone and unloved. Sam found me here when the crystal version came here and transformed into charlie. She told me that Daniel had told her, but she wanted me to tell her myself.

I did. I had never really confieded in anyone about it, apart from Daniel. But she listened quietly and hugged me when i cried. Can you belive that. I had barely known her a couple of months and i tell her all my fears, my hopes and my dreams. I cried infront of her. So since then when ever we feel down, it's become our spot. We just talk for hours about nothing and everything.

SO as we drive away, i thank god that i remembered it and came straight to this spot. Otherwise, god knows, i didn't want to have to drag her dead body out of the river. We pull into my driveway and i turn to her. SHe's alseep. Her tierd body slumped against my seat. LIfting her out of the car i carry her up to my house and inside. Laying her down gently on my bed. I take off her shoes and tuck her in. I see her smile and snuggle into the sheets.

I myself feel tierd and grap the blanket from the caboured and head down to my lounge room. Throwing myself on the lounge i curl up and try to sleep. It dosn't take long, knowing that she's safe and warm in my bed and i feel sleep over take me.

Although in the middle of the night, i wake to the feel of someone spooning them selves in my arms and curling up tight against me. I smile. WIthout opening my eyes, i wrap a hand around her preotectivly and fall asleep. My love is all i have to give. And that's all she's ever wanted. I'm no romeo and i'm no ritch bastard will. I'm Jack. And that's who she wants. Just me and the love and respect that come with it.

Tomorrow we can talk, but tonight, i'm here for her. And if all she needs is to be held and protected then i will do everything in my power to make sure that's what she gets. She sighs and snuggles in deeper. We don't need sex to know we love each other. We just wern't sure of each other. And now. Now, we know and were happy just to lay here.

-The End-

Yeah, yeah. I know Boooooo!! *nikki sulks and graps her bucket of ice and blames her awful fic on the heat. It's 38 degree's, help me out here!*