"Hit The Road Jack" By Nikki H

Title: Hit the road Jack

Author: Nikki. H.

Status: S/J

Catagory: Romance/ humour (hopefully)

Rating: M

Spoilers: none that i can think of

Summary: A game of Poker at Sam's house leaves a drunken Sam .

Disclaimer: Don't own nothing. Showtime and co own it all. But i own my imagination. At least i think i do.

Authors note: Umm, i wrote this as soon as the idea popped into my head. It's a little on the 'as if' side, but hopefully it does make some relative sence. Once again a warning oh my spelling, if you don't understand a word make it up like i do.

Feddback: Oh yes please! Even mean evil flames.

*****

"4 Aces! Cough it up!" Samantha Carter declared laying down her cards on the table for them to see. All 3 men threw their cards down in discusts. Sam smiled evily, the 'card shark champion' sulking in his chair. She neatly counted the money from the middle and tucked it into her pocket.

"I do belive, Major Carter, you have won yet again." Teal'c pointed out sipping his water. Jack glared from his chair, looking at his beer.

"Ya think?"

Sam secretly smiled and Daniel smiled good naturely. "Come on Sam. Go easy on us." Daniel said taking a large sip of his beer. He started coughing and spluttering, running to the kitchen to spit it out. Sam and Jack shared a secret smile with each other.

"How about you go easy on the booze" Sam said as he returned, "and i'll think about letting you win." Daniel smiled and pushed his beer towards her.

"You try it then." He erged.

Sam simply shook her head. "I don't drink."

Jack smiled, forgetting his sulking."Can't you stomach it Major?" He said winking at Daniel. Sam seemed unruffled by his teasing and simply delt the cards.

"Of course i can stomach it." She said calmly rising her cards. "It's my ego that can't stomach it the moring after." Jack just smiled and reached for his half empty beer.

"What ever you say Carter"

Carter looked annoyed. Determined to prove her place as one of the guys, she snatched Daniels beer up and began to skull. Daniel looked at her in awe as the bottle was drained of it's last drop and slamed down on the table. Sam let out a belch and glanced at Jack. Her eyes daring him to say something.

He took the dare. "Well done, Carter. Impressive for a girly drink" He baited her and she took it hook line and sinker. Sam jumped to her feet and crossed the room to a picutre frame. She pulled it down and opend the safe. Daniel looked at Jack, giving him the 'your gonna get it now' look. Jack shrugged as Carter slamed it shut and came over to them with a bottle of tequllia in hand. She sat down 20 shot glasses and filled each one to the brim.

"Well, Sir." SHe dared him. "Let's see how you take this girly drink." SHe sat across from him, egnoring the glance from Daniel. Jack raised his eyebrow.

"That a challange, Major?" He teased.

She equalled him. "That your way of answering, Colonel?" She winked. "Or do we have to wrestle?" The air spark of electritcity around them and Teal'c watch and waited for trouble. He looked from Sam to Jack. Eyes fixed on each other like dogs ready to fight, each daring the other to make the first move.

"You sure Major?" He asked. "I don't want to have to haul your sorry ass to the bathroom."

That did it. Sam rose to full height in her chair and leered at him. "You afraid you'll be beaten by a girl?"

Jack frowned. He spied the shoots infront of him. He smiled and picked one up. "To the SG" He said raising it to his lips and throwing it down his throat. It burned and trickled down his throat. He looked at Sam. She smiled and drunk her's as well. "GO!" he yeld and they started.

Half an hour later.....

By the 7th one Jack was regretting it. He felt light headed and sick in the stomach. He looked at Sam hoping to find her in the same condition. But to his surprise she was infact loving every minute. Her eyes sparckled and she reached for his last glasses and downed them. She jumped up, "I WIN" she yelled. She picked up the bottle and took a swag from it. Leaning drunkily over to Jack, she purred in his ear.

"Not bad for a girl, huh?" She laughed hysterickly, leaving the 3 men to gasp at her. Daniel groaned knowing he now had a drunken Sam and a passed out Jack on his hands. Sam ran outside and disapeard. He thought she was just going outside to pass out, but suddnely a clang heard from the roof. Daniel and Teal'c raced outside in time to see a laughing singing Sam at the top of the roof. She saw them and called down to them. "Come and join the party." She yeld. "But don't tell the Colonel, he's such a party popper." She took a swig and sat down on the roof's tip.

"Sam come down!" Daniel called out, trying to coax her down. But she was too busy singing at the top of her lungs. Her blonde hair was plasterd down on her head and she moved in a wobble.

"Hit the road Jack, you'll be coming back no more no more no more no more." Daniel called to her a couple more times when they heard someone acrross the street yell for them to shut up. Sam waved and started laughing.

Teal'c decided on getting up there and dragging her down. She gigled as he picked her up and she started whispering things into teal'c ears that made him blush. He lowerd her down onto the couch in her lounge room and she sat up. "Jack!" She shouted looking for him. She staggerd upwards looking for him under her table. "Jack?" She sung in a high pitched voice. Daniel couldn't help but smile as she staggerd towards him. "Daniel, i've lost jacky wacky. I want him." She demanded and slapped his shoulder. "Jacky wakcy?" She yelled.

"He is passed out in your bed Samantha Cater." Teal'c said prying the bottle off her. "You are drunk, lie down." Teal'c demanded.

"Me?" She snorted. "I'm not drunk, i'm going to keep Jacky boy company." She waved to someone across the room. "Come on fella's, come help me start a party." She turned back to Daniel and pointed to a potted plant. "Daniel, there are monkeys in the room." She started to giggle "and their wearing space suits!"

Daniel shook his head as Sam stubbeld in to her bedroom. He started clearing up when they heard a shout. "Sam!" It was followed by a giggle and what sounded like clothes being torn.

"Shhh i'm playing doctor. I'm giving you heart surgry." Teal'c looked at Daniel for explantion in Sam's behaviour. Daniel just shook his head and they heard a jack yelp.

"Sam that's not my heart." Followed by more giggling.

"I know."

DAniel tried to egnore the giggling he heard from both Sam and Jack and contniued to clean up the mess they had made. Soon they heard the door slam shut and the tell tale sound of the head board being smashed into the wall. Daniel turned away from the door and pushed Teal'c out the door. "Come on Teal'c that's our que to leave."

Teal'c nodded and climbed into the car. "Do you think they'll remember Daniel Jackson?"

Daniel started up the car grinning. "No." He pulled the car out of the driveway. "But that dosn't stop us from teaseing them about it." He laughed and they drove away.

The End.

-Pretty crap huh? Oh well, it was just an excuse to put in the song 'hit the road jack'. =) -nikki.