"If" By Nikki H

Title: 'IF'

Author: Nikki.H.

Category: S/J

Rating: M

Spoilers: None.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, Showtime and co do, i merly made up this story, no money will be taken.Oh yeah Janet Jackson owns the song 'If'. You can try sueing me but all you'll get is my cat, my computer and my coffee mug!

Authors note: I heard this song on the radio and was inspired to write this piece. So bare with me on the spelling mistakes and you'll know what I mean if you've ever heard this song.

*x*

Jack smiled to himself as he listened to Daniel try to explain the term 'stonned' to Teal'c. Teal'c kept asking why they would use such a name when it has no relivance to a stone. Jack grinned and reached for his beer. He glanced at his watch. Janet and Sam where half an hour late. Leave it to women to be late. They could spend a full 2 days just getting ready to go out to a club. God forbid they where ever rushed to get some place on time. He was surprised that Aliens hadn't over run Earth by now. Probably had wives that couldn't get themselves ready either, he thought smiling to himself.

But just as he'd said that he saw Janet's head poke around the door and pull Sam in. The two women stood chatting away with the bouncer until he pointed to where Jack was. Jack waved his hand and signaled to them. Sam spotted him and they walked over. "Nice of you to grace us with your presence ladies." Jack started as they arrived.

Janet threw him a look and then glared at Sam. "Someone decided they wanted to pike out at the last minute." Sam looked away pretending to not hear what she was saying, but her face was red. "SO what did we miss." Janet said pulling up a seat next to Daniel.

"Good evening Janet Fraiser. How is Casandra?" Teal'c asked formally. Daniel snuck a smile at Sam and she winked. "How is she liking Junior High?"

Janet smiled. "Fine Teal'c. Thankyou for asking. She got an A on her science project, thanxs to Sam, and went to her friends house for a sleepover." Jack raised his eyebrows.

"Isn't having your Astrophysicists Aunt do your project cheating, Major?" Jack jocked smiling at Sam. Sam just laughed and swiped at his half full beer. "Hey!" He said playfully and grapped it back off her. "Get your own."

Janet smiled and excused herself to get them a drink. "So Sam." Daniel started, leaning back in his chair. "You trying to avoid us?" he asked. Sam looked at him questioning.

"No, Why do you say that?" She asked confused. She looked at Jack and he shrugged. Jack looked at Daniel for an explanation.

"Well, Janet said you didn't want to come."

Sam shook her head smiling. "No. I just had lot's of paper work to do, that's all. But i'm here now. I just wont be seeing daylight for the next 2 days." She jocked and egnored Jack as he protested when she swiped his drink again.

"We'll make sure to get you home before curfew then, Carter." Jack chided. He grunted as she kicked him under the table. He smiled and took his now empty beer bottle back. "Figures." He said putting the beer bottle down.

"Sammy!" The four whirled around as 3 brown headed women came charging towards them. Jack sat aback as Sam jumped to her feet and greeted each one with a hug. Through all the babbling and squaking, Jack managed to catch a line or two. "Hows long has it been?", "Hows work?", "Hows your dad." Daniel glanced over to Jack and smiled. Teal'c sat rather confused, feeling overwhelmed by the gossiping females.

"So Sammy, you going to introduce us to your spunks?" The tallest one said mentioning to Jack and Daniel. Sam hit her across the arm but turned to them.

"Sorry guy's." She pointed at Jack."This is Jack, Daniel and Teal'c." She grinned and pointed to the three women behind her. "Guys this is Tammy, Lisa and Steph." Each women waved and them grapped Sam's hand again.

"So Sammy, which ones your honey?" Jack watched amused as Sam flushed deep crimson and she shook her head laughing. "Oh, I get ya, your playing it cool." All 4 women burst out laughing. "So are you going to dance or are you going to stand here all night.?" Asked the middle one called Lisa.

"NO." Sam said suddenly. "No way. Remember what happend last time." Sam warned as the women grasped her wrists. "No. No old times, i have a job I like and i want to *keep* it!" Sam warned pulling back. The women just laughed.

"Come on Sammy. One for old times sake. It wont kill you." Steph whinnied. Daniel and Jack exchanged looks again curious of their friends past. Sam was retreating as the women pulled in closer around you. "You guys don't mind if we steal Sammy from you for a while do you?" Daniel and Jack shook their heads. Sam pulled a face.

"Thanks alot guys!" Sam complained as she was pulled away. She disaperd into the dance floor when Janet re apeared. She looked around for her friend.

"Sam escape already did she?" Janet jocked placing her drink down. Jack mentioned to the dance floor where Sam stood laughing. "Oh, did Tammy steal her already?" Daniel nodded. Sam turned to go back to the group when she was pulled back. She shot a pleading look at Janet, but Janet waved her on encouraging.

"Why doesn't Sam want to dance?" Daniel asked confused as Sam crossed her arms.

Janet grinned. Jack didn't like the look of the twinkle in her eye. "You'll see." She said mysteriously. THe DJ overhead interupted what she was going to say next.

"Hey, Hey People! Hey Sammy's back! How about one for the old days?" The DJ laughed as Sam looked mortified. "Guy's step back as this is a ladies dance. Sammy you know your que."

Jack shot a look at Janet. Confused as to what was going on. "Janet?" Jack asked, but Janet waved at him to stop and pointed at them to watch. Daniel's eyes widened as the crowd broke and Sam stood with 10 other women in a triangle. Sam was at the top, obviously being the leader of the dance. Then Jack gasped. Sam stood in a tiny baby blue boob tube with tight fiting faded jeans. She'd been in a leather Jacket before that hid everything, but now flesh was exposed for everyone to see.

The song started up and the women moved their head in strong sharp movements. Each one looking possessed by the each beat that produced from the speakers. Sam gained eye take with Jack and didn't one take her eyes off him. He felt drawn, posssessed as if she had taken over his eyes and forced him to stare at her rythmic motions.

Sam did a controlled movement forward and did a slight spin. Together the women swung their hips with beat and walked slowly forward, curling the finger towards them. They stopped suddenly and jerked their hips forward in a thrusting movement, causing shivers down his back. Sam looked at him with a leer and rolled her shoulders forward as she took a step back.

The women shuffled behind her and Sam led them forward with a flick of her hip and they twirled to the side. One half of the women moved slowly to the middle, while the other side that Sam was on, moved also. The regained the triangle again and they slapped their thigh and ran their hand suductively up their side, before twirling and dipping backwards. Jack felt the heat in the room intesify as her blue eyes stared deep into his, drowning his thoughts in a sea of lust.

This time all the women dropped to the floor, bent over backwards, with one hand supporting them and the other in the air. A single powerful thrust from Sam and Jack felt it hit his body. They flipped rolling on the floor and gracefully rolled back the shoulders as they stood back up. Jacks jaw dropped open as Sam hit her ass and slowly guided the hand up to her breast. She stopped and twirl. But Jack had caught site of the tattoo on her lower back and was over come with need. The silver tattoo had been of the stargate symbol for home. The letter like a A with a circle above it.

Jack gasped as Sam rolled forward and they walked towards him again. He was sure he was drooling but couldn't quite help it. Her stomach curved and she did a slow backwards bend and flipped herself right over. Her head snapped to the side, as did the rest of the women, and then snapped back and they rolled their bodies sideways. Swaying back and forth, they stopped mid course and thrusted forward, bouncing it slow steps.

If Jack was drooling before now he was panting like a fish out of water. He couldn't belive this site before him. Infront of him was Samantha Carter. Astrophysicists, his buddy, his Major.But her she was infront of his eyes dancing like a pole dancer and driving his mind wild. Need poured over his body and reacted to each thrust from her. He licked his lips and she smiled and winked at him. Seeing his lust filled eyes and enjoying the intense stare. She skimmed her hands over her breast and danced in a robot like motion towards him. Jack breathed the words of the song as they sunk in and provided pictures that would make Daniel beside him blush. But she continued her teasing and dancing closer.

Sam twisted and ran to the side as the other dancers picked up their solo and danced before them. Jack scanned the sides hungrily for her and saw her holding take a deep breath. The middle dancers cleared and 4 men ran 4 chairs forward. Sam and her 3 other friends walked sudeuctively towards them and twisted them so that the backs faced Jack. He watched as in smooth motion they sat down. Pulling the chairs out from under them they twirled around the chairs. With one movement they jumped up on the chair and hit their thighs. Their hands slowly running down their leg. Sam snapped her head to the side then to the other side and then looked back. The 4 women dropped down and sat on the chair. One hand slapped on the chairs back and the other reached behind them. They dipped backwards and then pulled up wards and thrusted into the chair. The women pulled the chair's out again and 3 of them threw them to the side. All was left was Sam and she jumped onto her chair. Slowly she ran her hands down her hip and they raised her left leg to sit on the chair back. Jack held his breath as she ever to slowly lowerd the chair to the floor. And jumped off and twirled. The women ran before her and regrouped and they contiued their dance. Wow.

The women wound down their dance as the song slowed and it was coming to an end. They did a slow eventual twist to the ground and rolled their bodies back as they rose. Sam twirled and then with one final beat they thrust and stopped. A huge cheer went up and all the women broke from thier trance. Sam went bright red as the women circled her and slapped her on the back.

"Hey, hey, Sammy you still got it girl! Watch guy's, we have a wild one here! Now how about a little something for the guy's." The DJ switched the song to something Jack hadn't heard before and he turned to the others.

Daniel's beer glass lay smashed beside him and Teal'c shocked an expression of bewilderment. Janet looked at the 3 stunned men and smiled. Sam came over red faced and breathing heavily. She dropped into the seat beside Jack and grapped his beer.

He let her take it dumbstruck and watched as she sculled it. eventually she noticed them staring at her and rose her eyebrow. "What?" She asked afraid that she had something on her. Janet just nuged her and giggled and whisperd something in her ear. Suddenly Sam's face went even redder and she handed Jack his beer back.

Finally the courage to speak again came to him. "Your quite a groover, Sam." He stutterd out. He slapped himself, Your quite a groover? What the hell was he thinking? Stupid! Horny assed Fool! But Sam smiled and nuged Janet back again.

"So any chance of seeing you move like that Colonel?" Janet queered laughing. Jack threw her a look and mentioned to his greying hair.

"Not unless you plan on taking me out of here in a coffin." he jocked. Sam giggled and brushed past his foot teasingly. His throat clenched and his heart lept as she looked at him coyly. He gulped. "Maybe you can give me lessons some time, Sam?" He asked quite daringly winking at her.

"Maybe" Sam said standing up. "Anyone else for a drink?" She asked. Teal'c, Daniel and Jack all raised their glasses and she laughed and bounded off. Sam watched her figure disappeared. It's now or never Jack old boy, he thought and excused himself.

"Looks like Jack will get a lesson tonight." Janet said making Daniel choke. Teal'c looked at Janet curiously and she explained. "Let's just say that Jack wont be getting any sleep tonight." She said simply and drunk her drink. She smiled and looked over to see Sam leading Jack out of the bar, smiling.

The End.

-ah that's it. Crap huh? Pitiful i know. nikki. =)