"Empty Spaces" By Siobhan Gormley

Title: "Empty Spaces"

Parts: 1

Rating: R/NC17

Warning: Sexual situation

Classification: S&J frienship/romantic comfort; missing scene

Summary: Sam and Jack deal with the loss of Daniel

Required reading: none

Spoilers: "Fire & Water", "Broca Divide"

Feedback: Love it!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but this story. I intend no infringement in the use of the characters, who incidentally belong to Gekko, Double Secret, and MGM, and I make no money off of writing this story. It is simply for my, and hopefully the reader's, enjoyment.

Author's note: Well, after rewatching "Fire & Water" a gajillion times this weekend (blame it on FOX for repeating it), I decided that there was a scene missing in between the time Jack breaks General Hammond's car window and when they go to Daniel's to pack everything up. So, this is what came of it. Oh, and I write that it's 'romantic comfort' because I don't see what happens between them as actual romance, per se.

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Jack nodded at all the people he passed in his house as he made his way to the kitchen. The party was still in full-swing and Jack had tried to be the host, but after losing it outside, he had had a tough time keeping up appearances. He had excused himself and decided to go hide in the kitchen for a while.

O'Neill took a sip of beer, leaning back against a counter. He couldn't get the image of Daniel's death out of his mind, no matter how hard he tried. Losing someone in your command was hard enough, but Daniel was more than a colleague, he was a friend. Yeah, Daniel would irritate him when he started to talk about his rocks, but at the end of the day, Daniel was someone whom he trusted with his life, without a doubt.

Jack laughed to himself, imagining the slightly clumsy archaeologist in a 'Rambo'/protector mode. Definitely an amusing thought.

"Here you are, hiding out in the kitchen." Jack looked to the doorway and saw Sam standing there, a bemused expression on her face.

"What makes you think I'm hiding out here?" Sam walked in further, leaning on the opposite counter.

"Because that's what I'm doing." She smiled as Jack made an understanding noise. "And also, most people don't come into a kitchen at a party unless they're looking for something to drink or they're..."

"... hiding out," they said in unison, chuckling.

"So, you planning on staying here until the party's over?" Sam asked.

"I had thought about it. Makes it easier to avoid the excessively sympathetic looks everyone has been giving me. I was starting to feel a bit claustrophobic with the people crowding me."

"Yeah, but they mean well," Sam stated, looking back toward the doorway.

"I guess." They were silent for a few minutes, only the sounds of the music and the other party-goers interrupting the quiet.

"How do you deal with it?" Sam suddenly asked, gazing at O'Neill and breaking her self-imposed silence.

"With losing a colleague or someone close to you?"

"Both, I suppose."

Jack's expression was pained. He didn't want to dredge up old feelings. "You just learn over time to handle the pain. We're all here for such a short time..."

"Yeah, I've heard *that* a thousand times over the last few days." Sam looked away again. Jack was surprised at the sudden negativity in Sam's tone. It was unusual for her to be this way. He studied her expression as best he could from where he was standing. She seemed calm, but it was a mask, hiding her pain.

"Hey," Jack began, moving to touch her face, coaxing her to look at him. Tears were ready to fall, but, like a 'good soldier', she held back. Seeing Sam like this hurt him all the more and he pulled her into an embrace without a second thought.

She seemed to resist at first, but as Jack whispered into her hair about it being okay, she finally lost the battle and began to cry, her arms encircling him.

Jack continued whispering comforting words, but he soon found himself placing gentle kisses on top of her head. He pulled away slightly as her sobs subsided, kissing her on the forehead. Sam tensed at this and Jack knew he had gone too far. He disentangled himself and moved away from her, his expression apologetic.

"I'm sorry, Sam, I shouldn't have..." Jack didn't get to finish the sentence because Sam grabbed him and pulled him into a bruising kiss. It was reminiscent of the time they had been 'touched', but this time there was something else behind it. It was almost like they both needed to feel alive and they were desperately clinging to each other, filling that empty space where the need resided.

They finally pulled apart, their breathing heavy. They looked at each other, unsure what to do or say now.

That dilemma was resolved when Janet entered the room. She looked between the other two, but held back any comment on their current state.

"Sam, Teal'c was looking for you. He's going back to the base with the general," she informed the captain. Sam nodded.

"Thanks, Janet. I should get going too," she told O'Neill, moving away from him and walking out of the kitchen.

From where Janet was standing, Jack looked decidedly confused. She wondered how long it would take him to figure it all out, she thought as she too left the kitchen.

***

[What the hell was I thinking? Am I looking to get kicked out of the program?] Sam questioned herself as she changed clothes. It was a few hours after she had left the wake and Sam was still feeling antsy. She had no idea what the colonel might be thinking... hell, lately she didn't know what *she* was thinking. The only thing she knew for sure was that she had screwed up big time, not only her career, but a perfectly good friendship as well.

The ringing of the doorbell brought her back to the present. She glanced at the clock. She certainly wasn't expecting someone at this time of night.

Sam walked to the front door and looked through the peephole. She was not entirely surprised at who she saw, and she opened the door.

"Hi," Sam said, trying not to look too embarrassed. Jack attempted the same.

"Hi. Mind if I come in?" Sam nodded, opening the door more so he could enter. She closed it and turned to face him.

"So..."

"Look Sam, I'm sorry about this afternoon."

"You're sorry," she stated, sounding somewhere between confused and amused.

"Well, yeah. I should learn to keep my hands to myself." Sam let out a giggle, causing Jack to look perplexed. "What?"

"I didn't exactly act as a non-participant, now did I?"

"Well, no..."

"And I *was* the one who initiated the kiss," she said, flushing slightly as she finished. Jack smiled softly.

"You did, but if I..."

"No buts. I took advantage."

"Not really." His words surprised her. "Like you said, it wasn't like I was a non-participant." Sam didn't know what to say.

Jack moved closer to her, carefully watching her to make sure he didn't step over any lines she didn't want him to cross. "At the time, I needed to reach out to someone who would understand where I was coming from, and that was you."

"So if it had been Teal'c..."

"This conversation would most definitely not be happening between he and I."

Sam couldn't help but laugh at the silliness of his reply, making him smile.

"That's what I like to see," Jack stated, touching her cheek gently. Sam instinctively leaned into the caress, closing her eyes. She felt him move closer and her heart beat faster. She opened her eyes to look directly into his.

"Sam, I know that what has happened today is very much against regs, and that even being here and thinking what I'm thinking could get me in even deeper trouble, but something about you... draws me to you. I can't explain it."

"Don't try then," Sam found herself saying. She couldn't say where that had come from, but from the colonel's expression, it wasn't unwelcome.

Jack leaned toward her, tasting her lips briefly. He got beer mixed with strawberries, an intriguing combination. Jack licked his lips, waiting for her reaction. Sam curled an arm around his neck, pulling him toward her.

Their next kiss was deeper, more exploratory. Their hands caressed each other's bodies, finding the odd soft spot that produced a moan amidst the kisses.

They pulled apart to catch their breath, but unlike earlier, they stayed within the embrace. Jack caressed her cheek again, his expression serious.

"I don't want us to do anything we'll regret," he told her.

"Neither do I."

"And I don't want to make any promises or say something I don't really mean."

"I'd kick your ass if you dared do that," she replied, smiling mischievously. Jack laughed.

"What would I do without you, Sam?"

"You'd be forever lost," she joked.

"Very possibly," he replied, semi-serious, surprising both Sam and himself.

They said nothing more and Sam took Jack by the hand, leading him to her bedroom.

Sam allowed Jack to undress her. For each item of clothing he removed, he kissed a bit of bare skin. Once he was done, Sam helped him undress, her need to feel skin on skin growing.

Both fully naked now, Jack lay Sam down on the bed, bringing their lips together again and finally thrusting into her. A whimper escaped her lips and Jack paused, looking into her eyes to be sure that this truly was what she wanted. Her eyes left no doubt in his mind that she wanted him to continue.

Jack began a gentle thrusting again, working up to a passionate frenzy as they kissed and caressed. He felt his release come and he gave a silent cry into Sam's mouth.

Sam, on the other hand, was still in need of release as she continued thrusting. Jack kissed her deeply, his hand wandering down between them. He found what he was searching for and rubbed her clit, gaining a gasp from the younger woman. He kept it up, finding that he was growing hard again.

Finally Sam cried out, clenching around him and making him come again briefly. They lay in each other's arms, kissing and caressing still. Both of them didn't want to let go, their need for connection still very much there. They fell asleep eventually, entwined in their embrace, the emptiness a little less than they had both felt before.

***

Sam awoke slowly. She found herself smiling softly as she focused in on Jack's face. Asleep, his usually soldierly tense expression was gone to reveal a certain vulnerability that she was sure very few had seen.

Jack moved in his sleep and his face scrunched in displeasure. Seconds later his eyes flew open, a scared look to them, and his breathing was heavy as if he had been running a marathon. Sam did her best to calm him and slowly he came down, his breathing becoming regular.

"Bad dream?"

"Yeah, you could say that. Didn't know where I was for a minute when I first woke up."

"Guess I'm not that memorable," she teased, trying to make him smile, and he flashed her a grin.

"Well, I *did* want to let you down easy..." he began and she smacked him on the behind, feigning horror. "Now Sam, careful, I could come to enjoy that," he chastised jokingly.

"Keep dreaming, flyboy," she growled flirtatiously. She moved to extricate herself, but he kept her firmly in his embrace.

"If the dreams involve a beautiful blond air force captain and me, I'd gladly sleep forever."

"Flattery will get you everywhere."

"Promise?"

Sam laughed at how child-like he looked. "Only when you're a *very* good boy," she replied, and Jack pouted.

"Hell, I'll never get anywhere then." This set Sam off and Jack joined in.

"So..." Jack started, once they had stopped laughing.

"So... I guess we better get going."

"Yeah, we have to pick up Teal'c before..."

"Um, yeah," Sam interrupted. In her mind, if she didn't hear what he was going to say then it wouldn't hurt as much.

They moved apart to get dressed. Sam wrapped a sheet around herself as she went to her closet to find her jeans. Once she had them, she turned back around to see Jack sitting on the edge of her bed in his boxers, an amused expression on his face.

"What?" she asked, walking toward him and placing the jeans on the bed.

"You," he said, taking one of her hands. "We just spent the night together and now you're hiding under a sheet."

Sam blushed. "Oh."

Jack slid an arm around her, pulling her closer to him. Slowly he stood, then leaned his head down to kiss her softly. Sam felt light-headed because of his gentle embrace. There was none of the deep-down need that had filled their kisses the other day, just the sweet feeling of contentment and peace that they had both felt as they had drifted off to sleep.

Jack pulled back, smiling.

"We're okay, right?" He searched her face for some sign to tell him yes or no. Her smiling eyes gave him his answer.

"Yeah, we're okay," she told him, confirming it. Jack pulled her close again and she leaned her head against his shoulder. They stayed in the embrace a little while longer, then went and dressed.

Without a word, they looked at each other as they headed out, an underlying happiness infusing them both. They knew they had a grim task to perform, but just knowing that they were there for each other made the empty space the task created inside them seem that much smaller.

THE END

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"Demons after money. Whatever happened to the still-beating heart of a virgin? No one has any standards any more."
--Giles, "Enemies"