"The Brightness Of Christmas" By Amelie Allard

Title: the Brightness of Christmas

rating: PG

Classification: S&J friendship / possible romance along the way...

Summary: What can I say? A couple of days with SG-1 on Christmas time...

Required readings: Slight reference to ‘Into the Darkness of Confusion’ since this is kind of a sequel. If you want to read it, tell me, I’ll send it over

Warning: switching from Sam’s to Jack’s point of view at each ***, sorry if it’s confusing.

Spoilers: none

Archive: SJA, others ask please.

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything! Especially not the characters and the song belongs to Chris De Burgh.

Author’s note: Okay, since many of you asked a sequel to my fic ‘into the darkness of confusion’, I’ve decided to write one as a response to the X-mas challenge 99, wich must involve a chistmas tree, a SJ kiss and an other challenge. I’ve chosen the ‘Get out of jail free’ challenge. It’s set a couple of months after POV and my fic ‘ITDOC’

Feedback: please, tell me what you think and be nice on my english because I speak french!

*The Brightness of Christmas* by Amélie

Sam

I sat at the table, bored. The music wasn’t good anymore and I felt sleepy and cold. Christmas is definitely bad timed this year. I’m chilly and I feel sick with my headache and sore troat, and all this from this flu I’ve had for about two weeks now. At first I thought I would be in shape for Christmas, but time hadn’t improve my situation like I had hoped. Now I’m there, at the Christmas party Hammond keeps organizing every year and Daniel wouldn’t stop talking even if the whole room was on fire. He was definitely not aware I wasn’t listening to a word he said.

"Sam!" Apparently, I was wrong.

"Sorry Daniel. Wasn’t paying attention."

"I know. I was just saying maybe you should go home and rest. You look terribly tired."

"Thanks Daniel. I think I’ll do that. It must be the meds I’m taking."

As I stand up, I see O’Neill across the room look in my direction with a worried look on his face. I try to smile to tell him I’m O.k but that just makes him excuse himself from Hammond and other high-ranked officers to come over to me.

"Carter! You leaving?"

"Yes sir. I don’t feel so good."

"I noticed. I just wondered...if you wanted to..."

"Wanted to what, sir?"

"To dance, dance with me."

"Oh." I answer because I really don’t know what else to say. I was wondering if he was going to ask me or not, even if I was hooked up with someone all evening.

"What?" He asks, his eyes confused. I can tell he’s very intimidated and I can almost imagine him blush right now.

"Alright." I finally agree. He makes his way to the DJ and whispers something to him. The man nodds with a smile and the music starts as Jack comes back to me.

‘Oh my God! This music is so...romantic’ I think to myself but I have to stop thinking about romanticism when Jack takes my hand in his and leads me to the floor. One of his hand comes to rest on my waist when the other kept mine warm in his. I put my arm around his shoulder as he begins to rock with the music.

This feels so awkward. This is one of the only time I’m as close to him as this and I find myself actually liking the feeling it’s causing me. Suddenly, I don’t want to go home anymore. I feel his arm hold me a little tighter when I shift closer to him, resting my head on his shoulder. He brings our joined hands to his chest.

Ever since we had our little discussion about the alternate reality, Jack and I are...closer. as if we had tacitely agreed to ‘court’, for a lack of better word. We even flirted a bit and tried to spend more downtime together to get to know each other better. Because, let’s face it, we don’t know anything about our lives outside that mountain and who we really are.

What we like and don’t like, what are our favorite food and color, that sort of things. But we never cross the line. We still know what the regulations are and what they don’t allow us to do or even say. So we keep flirting, safe from the fear of being a couple. Besides, I’m not even sure yet as what my feelings are for him. I mean I...

"You know", he says, bringing me out of my thoughts "I didn’t choose this song for nothing." I look at him, surprised. I wasn’t expecting this from him. Hell I wasn’t expecting nothing of all this thing from him. When he sees the confusion on my face he tries to explain himslef "Well, what I mean is..."

"I know what you mean. Thank you." The fact is, I wasn’t sure what he meant. I just didn’t want to hear it right now. I wasn’t ready for any of the alternatives. So I just rest my head once again on his shoulder.

***

Jack

I still can’t believe I finally asked her. All evening long, I kept watching her and seeing how bad she felt. But I had also seen her dance with almost every man here who had the courage to ask her. But I wasn’t one of them. Well, until now. I knew she really needed to rest and sleep, but I couldn’t let my chance go by. So when I saw she was leaving, I hurried myself by her side and she accepted my hand.

I chose this song because it expresses everything I feel tonight. Well, almost everything. Maybe not the love thing. The thing is, I’m as confused as I can be with my feelings right now. But whatever they are, I just wanted to make sure she knew how beautiful I think she is, even with that cold. She’ll always be the same Sam to me. And she does look gorgeous and lovely.

So when I tell her that this song is very special to me, I’m surprised to hear that she knows what I mean. But does she? Does she really know my heart skips a beat every time she smiles or when she touches me the way she does right now? I’m sure she doesn’t. I know she feels awkward when she’s touching me. But does that mean she doesn’t feel the same way I do? Whatever it is?

***

Sam

I really don’t know what to make of my CO right now. But even less of myself. I shouldn’t do that. Dance with him, that is. Even in a Christmas party. I know it’s dangerous and for both of us. I might let myself show how I feel when his breath is warming my ear or how I found delightful the way he smells. I shouldn’t dance with him. But no matter how my brain tries to convince me I can’t help but lean in closer to him when I feel the chills coming back through my body. The thing is I’m not sure it’s the flu anymore. He must have sensed me trembling cause he separates himself from me to look me in the eyes. I hate when he does that.

"Are you O.k? You look like you’re cold. I’m gonna take you home now. You’ve been up longer you should have with this cold."

"Sir?" I interrupt him.

He stops his motion to look at me once again. "Yeah?"

"I’d prefer finish the song first." I tell him, probably more surprised by my own words than he is, if that is possible. He was surprised, it showed on his face when he pulled me to him once again.

***

Jack

I disentangle myself as the last words of the song fade away. I look at Sam and can’t help but smile when I see that she almost fell asleep in my arms.

"Come on Major, I’m taking you home."

"Thanks, but I think I can manage, I’ll be fine..."

"No. No argument here. I’m taking you home. You’re sleeping on your feet. Come on." I say as I grab her elbow to lead her to the tables where our coats are.

"Colonel, it won’t be necessary, besides, I got my own car" Sam says. I stop and turn to look ate her and she stops and her expression shows she understood my stubborned look. So I head to Daniel.

"Daniel" I shout so that he can hear me and meet with us.

"Yeah?"

"Take my car, I’ll give Carter a lift because she can’t stand on her feet anymore" I ignore the groan I hear her make behind me.

"Oh! Alright!" he says as he takes the keys from me. "We’ll see you both at your house tomorrow then, for OUR party" he adds and I nodd my head.

***

Sam

I open my eyes and for a moment I’m not sure where I am. Then I recognize the ceiling of my bedroom and the smell of my sheets. I have no idea how I came up here. The Colonel must have carried me. Suddenly panicked, I look down my body to see if I’m still wearing my dress. I am and I sigh, relieved.

It’s still dark outside and I turn to look at my clock: 12h33 am. Great, so I just arrived. Maybe Jack is still here, I think to myself as I get up.

My theory is confirmed when I hear some noises from the kitchen, followed by a muffled "Damn!". I can’t help but smile.

"Breaking my china?" I say and he jumps. Really jumps.

"Carter! What the hell are you doin’ here. You’re supposed to be in bed." He says as he guides me towards the stairs.

"I was asking myself the same thing about you, sir."

"What do you think? I’m taking care of you. Now, I’ve made you some tea. It’ll help you sleep and you’ll feel better in the morning."

"YOu did?" I say and it’s more of a statement than a question because to say I’m surprised is an understatement.

"Yeah. See, I too have some hidden talents" he says with a smile.

"Oh!" is all I can answer.

"Now take this and go back to bed. I’ll clean up the mess I made of your kitchen" he says as he puts a hot cup in my hand and pushes me in the stairs. I close my eyes, trying to imagine how bad the ‘mess’ is in my kitchen. And it’s not difficult to imagine.

***

Jack

Ten minutes later, after cleaning the honey stuck everywhere, the water on the floor and the broken plates I had droped clumbsily, I decide to go check on her, see if the tea made his work. I climb up the stairs and knock at Sam’s door. "Sam, can I come in?" I ask quietly, not wanting to wake her if she’s asleep. She doesn’t answer so I go in and I find her asleep, all curled up in her bed. The cup I gave her is empty, she must have emptied it in one gulp, I joke to myself (yeah, I do that sometimes...). I go closer to her, touching her cheek to see if she has any fever. She does. I can feel her hot under my fingers and I kneel beside her bed, and she wakes up from my touch. When she opens her eyes, I bring my hand to her forehead and say: "Carter, you have a bad fever but, I think the tea might help. Do you mind if I stay here and check on you? I wouldn’t want to find you to the hospital tomorrow, now would I?"

She looks at me with a frown and finally nodds her head. She’s already asleep again. I stay there a few seconds just watching her. She looks tired even asleep and I wonder if it’s not a bit my fault. I know I’m hard on her some times, asking her things I wouldn’t even ask myself, but she does it and succeeds all the time. I trul;y don’t know how she can do that.

I go back downstairs and make myself some coffee. I really don’t want to sleep right now, even if I feel like my eyes weights tons. I decide to go sit on the couch and I find already there her dog, a big blond Labrador. The last time I saw him, Carter and I were jogging and we had stopped by her house to pick up her dog. He had almost eaten me when I tried to tickle Sam because she wouldn’t stop laughin’ at me. She laughed even more when the dog jumped on me and I lost my balance and fell into the only hole of mud in the street. It wasn’t funny. She could have stopped him, you know, just a word and he would have come back to her. But no. Instead, she just laughed as the dog kept licking my face. Don’t get me wrong, I love her dog, but only when he’s looking at me like he does right now, all quiet and sleepy on the couch. I sit beside him and caress his head as I take a look at Sam’s home. I see she already made her Christmas tree and it looks beautiful, all bright and colorful. Much warmer than mine. But let’s face the facts. Sam *is* warmer than me. She likes talking to people and she cares about what others have to say. She knows how to listen. Daniel does too and Teal’c...well Teal’c is...well you know how Teal’c is. But what about me? I don’t know why I don’t just open up to people. I find it harder than anything else and I don’t know why. Maybe I’m scared that if I cared too much or get attached too much I would lose those I love like I did with Charlie and Sara. But on the other hand, I’m a soldier, and I’m not afraid to take risks when I think it’s needed. Why can’t I do the same with my feelings?

***

Sam

I open my eyes and look at the clock. 10h44 am. ‘Man!’ i think to myself ‘I slept for a long time’ and I get up. I’m feeling much better this morning. I don’t feel cold and chilly anymore and my headache is gone, I’m gonna have to ask O’Neill his tea receipe. I climb down the stairs and find O’Neill asleep on my couch, doggy’s head on his lap. When he hears me, the dog comes towards me with his tongue out the way dogs do.

"Hungry, aren’t you?" I ask him, but it’s a male voice that answers me.

"Famished!"

I look up and smile at O’Neill who’s lazily stretching his arms and legs. "Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you up. Just about to make breakfast. You want some?"

"How can I sincerly turn down a meal offer from a woman?" He says and I know he’s joking from the smile on his face. He plays macho guy, but I begin to know him better, so I just smile and shake my head, leading him to the kitchen. All I can say is he cleaned up very well last night, my kitchen has never been cleaner.

"So? Did you sleep well? You look better this morning."

"Thank you" I answer. " Your tea made the trick, wanna tell me what’s in there?"

"Oh!No! O’Neill secrets." He answers his face all serious but I know he’s just dying to smile so I grin at him and it’s contagious ‘cause his mouth finally breaks into a wide sincere grin. I’m brought out of my thoughts by the phone and I run into the living room to get it as Jack follows me instants later.

"Hello?" It’s Daniel.

"Sam! I need your help" he says and I can hear the panick in his voice.

"What is it, Daniel?" I ask, suddenly worried, "where are you?".

"In jail."

***

Jack

"What? Daniel, how can you be in jail?" Sam sees me make a face and she shruggs, phone still on her ear, she’s as surprised as I am about the situation. I watch her closely as her face changes expression, from worry to surprise, passing by amusement as Daniel explains the situation to her.

Man! I can’t believe it! How can he be in jail? Sam really tries to contain her smile from her voice but it’s hard and she grins widely at me when she hungs up the phone.

"So? What did he do?" I ask, trying to sound annoyed by the trouble in wich Daniel likes putting us in. But the truth is, I find it rather amusing.

Sam is still smiling at me when she offers me to sit down on the couch. Oh-Oh! This is not good. I try to swallow as I imagine all sorts of scenarios, Daniel having an accident with MY car, Daniel...

"Teal’c was arrested last night while he was driving your car to the base." Sam must understand what my eyes express because she continues quickly, as if she didn’t want me to be angry. "Daniel thought it would be nice to let Teal’c drive since he doesn’t often get the chance and he ...had a speed ticket. She winces at me waiting for my reaction.

"How much?"

"160$".

"What?" I almost shout and Sam was apparently expecting this kind of reaction so, in order to impress her, I try to take a deep breath and calm myself down a bit. "And why is Daniel in jail?" I ask calmly.

"Teal’c didn’t have any papers and neither did Daniel, he had left them at home last night when you picked him up for the party. He didn’t think he would have to drive. The police thought it was a stolen car."

I put my head in my hands, trying to understand how Daniel could have let Teal’c drive so fast he had to pay 160 bucks. I look up at Sam, who was smiling.

"What else?" I ask, afraid of the answer before I even ask the question.

"Daniel and Teal’c spent the night in jail because Daniel didn’t have any money on him and he asked me to get it for him. He said...it was *possible* he didn’t have all the money to pay, so we’d have to help him out a bit"

"A bit."

"Yeah..."

"Okay, sorry Carter, I am not going to pay for Daniel’s little adventures with MY car!"

"Okay! But I will help him because he’s my friend. We don’t really know what happened, sir, maybe he fell asleep and Teal’c offered to drive or..."

"There’s no ‘or’, Major. I will not help him."

"AH come on sir, you know he’ll pay you back.." She was serious now, almost angry with me.

"I know that, but I think it’s about time he has a lesson."

"With all due respect, sir, I think he already had it. Have you forgotten he already spent a night in there?"

"I’m not paying!"

"Fine!" she says, angry this time. She takes her coat I had thrown on the chair last night, takes her keys and heads toward the door. I realize then that I can’t stay here and I don’t have my car, anymore, so I get off the couch, take my jacket and follow her outside with a sigh.

***

Sam

Sometimes I could just kill him. Take my gun and pull the trigger. I take a look at him and he looks almost guilty but he still has this stubborn look in his eyes so I decide I can stay angry a little longer. I put the volume of the radio up a bit, to say I still think his action is stupid. Why couldn’t he help Daniel? It wasn’t such a big deal. 160$, and I know Daniel would agree to pay interests to Jack, if he allowed him. I could imagine Daniel feeling so bad last night he didn’t even call right away. He punished himself by staying there all night and Jack wouldn’t acknowledge him. What a shame for a friend. Plus what about Teal’c? Poor man! Struck there. I’m sure Jack didn’t even think about him staying there.

"Where are we going?" Jack asks.

"Daniel’s appartment. He said he has some money hidden somewhere in his closet. I’ll go and find it. And if he doesn’t have enough, I’ll pay the rest. Alone."

"Oh." is all he says and I’m glad he feels bad enough not to say anything else.

So by the time we arrive at Daniel’s, Jack haven’t said anything the whole ride. But I can’t help but smile when he follows me inside the appartment.

"Where did Daniel say his cash was?" He asks.

"I don’t know if I should tell you sir." I say, triyng to sound suspicious.

"Ah! Come on! What do you think I’m gonna steal it from him?"

"Don’t know sir..." seeing his exasperated look, I add "alright. He said it was in a big jar in his room closet."

"Okay!" he says as he heads towards Daniel’s room. I follow him and he goes directly to the closet and opens the door. Daniel’s closet is a mess, but Jack seems to be used to that ‘cause he’s just tossing everything in one corner until he finds a cowboy hat. He looks at it from all angles for a second then looks at me, mischievious smile on his face.

"What?" I ask, not liking at all this evil grin he shows.

"I don’t know, I was just wondering how you’d look with that...thing...on your head."

I look at him and shake my head no. His grin spreads even wider.

"Don’t do it sir!" I say as I back up from him. He catches my move and I decide it’s the time or never that I make a retreat. I spin on my heels and start running away from him. He follows me seconds later, hat still in hand. Oh-oh! I’m trapped. Daniel’s place is so small there’s no room to run, so I just jump behind the couch, waiting for Jack’s move. He’s still grining evily and I find myself chuckling too.

"Give it up, Carter, you’re trapped. There’s no way out of this. You have to wear it." He says, all serious, showing me the hat again.

"I don’t think so!" I say as I push the couch in his way. This will give me some seconds to head to the door. But as I put my hand on the doorhandle, I feel an arm around my waist, pulling me away from the door. I try to get myself free of his hands, but he’s very strong. And plus I can’t help but laugh and it weakens me. He drops me on the couch and finally succeeds putting the hat on my head. He gets off me and I’m still laughing my abdos out.

"There!" he says. Then after a moment judging me he adds "No! Not you at all!"

"Thanks! Your saving my life!" I say, finally trying to regain seriousness again. We just look at each other for a moment and I take the hat off my head. I can’t imagine Daniel wearing it. I throw it to the Colonel and he smiles as he catches it.

"So, we find the money, or what?" He says as he goes back into the room.

When I’ve finally completely caught by breath again, I follow him.

Jack is standing on the top of his toes, still tossing stuff around. He takes a packing peanuts and stares at it. "Hmmm...Peanuts!" he says in Homer’s way. I chuckle and he continues his searching until he tells me "I can’t find any jar or money in there." he says. "I guess we’re gonna have to pay for him." he adds.

I look at him, surprised. "WE?"

"Yeah, I can’t let you pay it all. Besides it’s kind of my fault. I’m the one who lent him the car. I’ve learned my lesson.. Come on, we’ll go at my place and get some money of my own."

"Yes sir!" I say and he looks at me with an expression I can’t make out. After about half an hour, I finally turn my car into the driveway of his house. I stop the car and join him to the front door. He unlocks the door and makes a gesture inviting me in first. We head to the kitchen and he opens the oven. I look at him puzzled and he gets some money out of there.

"Wow! Good place to hide money sir!" I say half serious, half sarcastic. "Do you have to take it off each time you cook?"

"I live by my wits" he says "a calling at times that leaves me no great measure of security." I can’t help but laugh and this makes him smile. I guess he had anticipated it. "Come on, let’s get our poor Daniel and Teal’c out of jail." he adds as we go back into the coldness of december.

***

Jack

Poor Daniel! You should have seen his face when he saw us. He looked so miserable, I couldn’t help but smile, and so did Carter. I could allow myself if she could, now could I?

As for Teal’c, he looked...well...like Teal’c would look if he had spent a night in jail. All serious and his face expressing nothing but...nothing.

How does he do that?

Daniel told us everything that had happened. He had offered Teal’c to drive, because the poor man-alien doesn’t get often the chance to practice his driving, and Daniel fell asleep when he felt everything was under control. He woke up when he heard the police chasing them, Teal’c was driving fast, trying to escape from the cobs. Daniel shouted him to stop and he did. So the police thought they were drunk or thiefs or something.

They asked for their papers and the car papers but Daniel coudn’t find them, so I guess it’s how they got stuck up in a cell for a night. I’ll talk to Gen Hammond for some sort of american citizenship for Teal’c. I’m sure it could be arranged.

So Carter and I had paid the cotion and I was glad Daniel felt bad enough to suggest paying interests on the money he owned us. Of course, Sam told him he didn’t have to pay anything to her, and he said he did and she said he didn’t, but she finally agreed to let him pay the third of the price. And I, of course, with my good heart, decided to let it go too. It was Christmas eve after all. Time to be nice on kids like Daniel.

We spent the day, all four of us together, trying to organize our own party. We went to the mall to buy some decorations, drinks and food. I wouldn’t have done that all by myself, just buy a coulple of drinks, but Sam insisted, so I did it after all. What do you want me to say? She always comes up with all the good reasons I don’t have to argue with her. It’s my fate.

So now we all sit in my living room, exhausted by our day of work, no one saying anything. Someone could explain to me why shopping is more tiring than going on a mission? I don’t. Maybe Carter could. It’s amazing, really.

We’re waiting for our guests to arrive, wich are Gen. Hammond and his wife, Janet and Cassie, Sam’s dad wich is a surprise for Sam, and some others. Suddenly, Daniel gets up and runs to the stereo, putting some Christmas carols. He looks even more tired than all of us. I guess his night in jail wasn’t so good after all.

We decided to make some sort of present exchange this year. We picked a name in a hat, and we had to buy something for the person, without saying who it was, of course. I picked Carter. God, I really didn’t know what to get her. So I decided for something nice and classical. Well maybe not that classical, but nice.

I turn my head in the direction of the door as the bell rings. I smile to the others and get off my chair to answer our guests. It’s like they all decided to come in a bus or something. They were all there, even Jacob Carter. I open the door wider to let them in. I look outside when they’re all in with Sam embracing her dad, Daniel hugging Cassie and Teal’c shaking hand with Hammond, and I see that it’s begining to snow. Great! It’s been a long time since it hadn’t snowed on Christmas. I wonder if Cassie has ever seen snow. She’ll have a great surprise in the morning.

And so the party begins. There’s cheers, songs, laughter, everything that is supposed to be on a day like this one. I see Sam talking with Hammond’s wife, Cas on her lap and they’re all smiling. What a nice view...I shake my head off of that thought and Hammond comes to me.

"Colonel, this is a very nice party you know. I’m glad we all made it through the year once again." I look at him, surprised. "Don’t take me wrong Colonel, I love our job, but it’s so damn risky, we don’t know what’s ahead of us. We should make parties like these every week to celebrate we’re all alive and well."

It feels awkward to hear him talk like that. But he’s right and I smile, lifting my glass, silent toast to life. Hammond clears his troat and says out loud, so that eveyone can hear him, "I’d like to propose a toast to all of us and to life for being so generous to us, keeping us all alive day after day." Everyone lift their drinks and take a sip. And the party begins again.

I go sit in one corner of the room, just enjoying watching and listening to people laugh. It’s a great sound...

"Colonel?" Sam says shyly as she comes to me.

"Carter?"

"Do you mind if I sit with you for a second?"

"No, no, not at all. Come on!" I say as I shift so that there’s some room for her to sit. She looks great tonight. Don’t get me wrong, she always looks great, but tonight, her blue eyes twinkle and her cheeks are pinky. She’s radiant. She sits beside me with a sigh and I look at her, offering her a sip of my drink. She refuses and smiles at me.

"You know sir, I’d rather use your miracle tea." she says.

"You’re feeling sick again?" I ask, worried.

"Yeah...headache, actually." I touch her forehead with my hand and to my surprise she closes her eyes, ‘probably enjoying the freshness of my hand’ I think as I get up. I offer her a hand to get up, wich she takes, and I lead her to the kitchen.

"Did you see a doctor?" I ask as I prepare the tea.

"Well, yes and no. I talked to Janet about it and she said it was only a flu, according to my symptoms. Hope she’s right."

"Me too!" I say and then avoid to look at her when I try to explain "what I mean is that it’s been on for a while and we’re gonna go back on missions soon and I wouldn’t want to replace my astrophysicist..."

"Colonel?" she interrupts me.

"What?"

"Thank you. For everything." I frown, showing I don’t understand what she means and she smiles, like every time I don’t get what she’s saying. So she goes on "Thanks for taking care of me last night, for helping Daniel out of this mess and for inviting my dad over. It was very sweet of you."

God, I don’t know what to say, so I just say dumbly "You’re welcome, Sam." and I hand her the tea. She lifts her cup in a toast and I do the same with my drink and they ‘clink’ together as we make a wish and each take a sip.

"So? Who did you pick for the Christmas present?" I ask her, trying to lighten the mood.

"Can’t tell you, sir. If I tell, there won’t be any surprises."

"Right. Do you want me to tell you who I picked? She giggles and her eyes twinkle even more.

"I guess it’s a no." I say as we go back in the living room where the party is still going on. We sit where we were before but we don’t talk, each one of us lost in our own thoughts. I wish I knew what she’s thinking at this very moment.

She looks at me when she feels observed and smiles "What?" she says calmly.

"Dollar for your thoughts."

"I’m not sure they worth that much sir, but I’ll tell you anyway. I was thinking that Teal’c looks real handsome in that vest, that Janet looks nice with her hair like this, that maybe I should do the same with mine, that Daniel looks miserable and tired, probably exhausted from the teasing of my father about last night, that I’m glad Cassie’s finally found a family, that Hammond and his wife look realy happy together and that I really want you to know that you look great in that shirt.

Wow! How does she do that, say so many words in a small lap of time. Then, only then, her words strike me. Did she just say I looked great?

"I’m sorry, I don’t think I got the last part right..." I say, almost blushing. She smiles and I can say she’s blushing too.

"I just said I thought you looked great in that shirt."

"Oh! I had heard right, thank you very much" and I feel idiot and uncomfortable, maybe I should pay her a compliment too, after all, I mean it: "You don’t look so bad yourself". I say and I kick myself interiorly.

What the hell am I doing? But she laughs, she must think I’m joking. I’m not.

"You’re kidding, right? I mean, I feel like I haven’t slept in days, I must look a fright." She says, still laughing.

"Actually, I was pretty serious. I mean, your eyes twinkle, is it Christmas that makes you that..." I’m really not sure I want to finish that sentence right now. But, there she goes, all serious with an eyebrow up to the sky, waiting for me to finish what I began. ‘Not in a million years’, I think to myself.

"You were saying?" she asks. NO! I won’t tell her! I will not tell her!

"Beautiful." I finish. Damn! Why do I have to do that! But she smiles and thanks me. I can tell she’s uncomfortable too, but we slowly get over it and take sips of our respective drinks.

The party goes on and I talk with Carter for a while, then with Jacob, then with Daniel and Teal’c and then with Cas who tells me she met some boys at school who are bothering her. I offer her to go there myself in uniform and bring Teal’c with me, maybe they would stop. She giggles and I see Sam doing the same from not very far away. She must have heard my answer.

"But you know what?" I ask Cassandra, still looking at Sam who returned to her conversation with her dad. Cas shakes her head no. "I think they just like you. I know if I were a boy your age, I’d do the same thing. I know it’s not realy effective but guys don’t know how to show a girl they like her. Have any suggestions?"

"It’s stupid. Why don’t they just tell the girl?" she asks innocently.

"Well, I think they’re shy and afraid"

"Afraid of what? I won’t laugh at them, don’t they know that?"

"I guess not. Maybe they’re also afraid of rejection. It’s hard on a boy’s ego, you know." I tell her. I wonder for a moment if all women are like that on the ‘why don’t you just tell her?’ thing. It’s not as easy as it seems.

"What would you do if you had a girl in mind?" She asks suddenly. Woah! I really don’t know what to answer to that, because I think I’m doing the same thing those boys are, and right now.

"Why don’t you just ask Daniel? His marriage succeded far better than mine and I think he’d know the answer." She looks at me with a stubborn look, just like Sam would, and this makes me smile. "alright", I say, "I think I’d try to act on it, but only if I were sure of myself enough to do so."

"So, you’re also afraid of rejection". Man, she’s smart!

"I guess so. Aren’t you?" She thinks for a minute and I take a look at where Sam was a few minutes ago and she’s still there, but this time watching me. I feel the blush come back and I turn my attention to Cassie once again as she continues asking questions about boys. Man, that girl can’t be already that old, can she?

***

Sam

The party has been going on for a few hours now, and I really feel sleepy, just like yesterday. I think the Colonel’s potion is for something. Speaking of the Colonel, I watched him talk with Cassie for a couple of hours this evening, not bored at all by her boys stories. He’s great with kids. I’m sure he woukd have made a great father to Charlie. A so stupid accident, but I guess it could happen to anyone. Anyone who has a gun, of course.

I take a look at my watch and it shows 1h30 am. It’s now Christmas, I smile to myself. Daniel looks at me and comes over to me.

"Hey Sam! You’re feeling ok? You look tired, maybe you should just use one of the bedroom upstairs. I’m sure Jack wouldn’t mind. Besides, I don’t think we’ll open our presents tonight, so Teal’c and I will stay for the night too."

"Great idea! Merry Christmas Daniel!" I say as I hug him.

"Merry Christmas to you too, Sam! Now, go to sleep, we’ll see you tomorrow."

"Yes sir!" I answer and he smiles.

I go tell my goodbyes to my dad, who won’t be going to the Tok’ra world until next week, unless there’s an emergency. He tells me he’ll stay at Mark’s and I tell him I’ll go too, for the New Year. We hug and he tells me, once again, how proud he is of me and how much he loves me and I answer that I love him too. He kisses me on the forehead and I go say my goodnights to the other people of the room. I can’t find Jack anywhere, though. I’d really like to ask him first, just to be sure he won’t mind me staying here tonight.

He almost looses his balance when I walk into his chest.

"Sorry! Colonel! Sorry!"

"That’s ok, Sam" he tells me with a smile.

"I was wondering...if I could use one of the bedrooms upstairs to sleep a bit. I think you’re trying to drug me with your tea."

"Sure, why don’t you follow me upstairs. I’ll show you the way."

"Thank you sir!" I answer as he leads me upstairs.

There’s a corridor and a couple of doors, his house is big. I wonder if he has any plans on with whom he’ll share it. Must be hard to live alone in here. All wide and cold. Well, maybe he doesn’t live here very often. After all, we all have quarters at the base.

He leads me to the last door to the right and opens it, allowing me to go inside. Wow! Looks great! But... "Isn’t that your room?" I ask, uncomfortable.

"Yeah, you won’t be disturbed in here. You won’t be able to hear everyone yell and shout and sing from downstairs."

"Where will you sleep?" I don’t know why, but I don’t like the idea of sleeping in his bed, alone.

"In another room. I got plenty of that here, you know."

"Oh! Alright! Good night sir!"

"Don’t you want to change? Your clothes, I mean."

"Well, I don’t have anything..." He goes to his closet and comes back, handing me a piece of his clothes.

"Here, you can wear that, It’ll be too big for you, but more comfortable than a dress. I’m just guessing on the last part!" I smile and take the t-shirt and jogging pants from him.

"Thank you!" And as he’s going to pass the door, I add "Merry Christmas!"

He turns around to look at me and smiles, "Merry Christmas to you too, Sam." and he’s gone.

***

Jack

I couldn’t sleep when I went to bed, once everyone was gone or asleep in one of the rooms. I still don’t know why. I just lied there, thinking. Thinking about anything, everything. How great the party had been, a lot more friendly and casual than the military one we went to last night. So, unable to sleep, I decided to get up and sit on my couch dowstairs, just looking at the lights of the Christmas tree and the snow still falling from the heavens outdoor. I smile when I remember how Cassandra reacted when she saw a couple of centimeters covering everything, the trees, the grass, the houses. All white and soft. I wish I could still be astonished by such a view. I think I could, if only someone made me see it again. The someone I have in mind is, by the way, standing in the stairs, just looking at me.

"Hey, Carter, it’s 4 in the morning, I think you should get all the sleep you can."

"I know, but I wasn’t able to sleep anymore." She says as she comes to sit beside me. She’s wearing the clothes I lent her, and she looks adorable.

"Do you want a hot chocolate? I know I could sure use one." I say and she nodds, bringing her feet on the couch, encircling her knees with both her arms and resting her chin on them. When I come back, she’s still in that same position, thoughtful.

"What’s on your mind, Sam?" I ask as I hand her a cup and sit beside her.

"Probably the same thing you have on your mind sir." She answers.

"I really don’t think so..." I say and I hope that this doesn’t let her know what I’m really thinking right now.

"You know when was my best Christmas ever?" she asks, looking straight in front of her, at the tree.

"When’s that?"

"I was about ten. Dad was off on a mission and wasn’t supposed to come back until late February, so he had sent us some presents that were to be opened only on Christmas. Mark and I were so excited and my mother had to watch us every second so that we wouldn’t touch the present in order to know what was in there." Sam smiles at the memory and I do the same, silently enjoying her confession as she goes on. "When Christmas finally came, Mark and I decided to open dad’s presents after the other ones, just to keep the thrill a little longer. And as I was unwrapping my present, I saw dad come in and smile at me. He put his finger on his lips, telling me to stay quiet, until my mom had seen him. She had her back to him and didn’t hear him come in. He dropped his bag just behind her and she yelled and jumped when she turned around and saw him. Mark and I wouldn’t stop laughin’, especially when mom laughed too and jumped into my father’s arms. She was so happy to see him. We were all so happy to see him. It was the greatest present I could get." She stops talking and looks at me to see if I’m still awake or if I had listened. I had. Every word.

"What about you, sir? When was your greatest Christmas?"

I think for a moment and I answer finally: "This one". I turn my eyes on my hands resting on my laps and avoid looking at her. I really don’t see her expression or know what she’s thinking, so I add: "Well, I mean I had great Christmas days when I was a kid and when I was with Sara and Charlie, but this year, I’m truly happy. Everyone I lov...care for is healthy, well, present company excluded, and happy. And I can’t wait to open my present!" I say finally to lighten the mood and it works when she smiles.

"You’ll have to wait till the sun is up."

"What do you say we go up and wake Daniel and Teal’c?" I suggest, smiling evily. She smiles conspiratorly too and we get up and run upstairs to jump on Daniel and Teal’c. Well, maybe not jump on Teal’c, but just wake him gently.

***

Sam

We all sit on the floor, in front of the tree, waiting for someone to make the first move. Daniel’s the one to begin. He takes the gift with his name written on it and opens it. I really didn’t know what to give him. I feel like he has everything he likes. So I just gave him a...

"An encyclopedia of Classic, Northern, Egyptian and Celtic mythologies! Gee, thanks Sam!" I look at him, surprised.

"How did you know it came from me?" I ask, puzzled.

"I dont know, I just knew. Besides, it’s your hand writing on the paper." Right, I should’ve written it on the computer, but even then, I think he would have guessed anyway.

"Teal’c, why don’t you open yours?" I suggest. I’m glad I didn’t have to buy him something. What do you give to a Jaffa warrior? So I was curious what the person had found for him. He takes his present and very slowly opens it. It’s a couple of CDs with a world atlas. He smiles, amazingly enough, and we can say, for once, that he is very happy with his gift.

"Thank you Daniel Jackson!" He says, still smiling. I frown, how did he know? But then I look at Daniel and it’s obvious it came from him.

"You’re welcome Teal’c!" he says.

The Colonel and I exchange a look to decide who gets to open his present next. We speak at the same time : "You were the one who was eager..." I say.

He says "Ladies first...". We smile and I give him his present.

"Thank you!" he says and our hands brush as he takes the gift from me. ‘Since when do I pay attention to his hands and touch?’ I wonder. I’ve never felt that spark before. What the heck is going on with me?

He opens the gift without looking at me, did he feel it too? The present is logically from Teal’c and I have no idea what it is. He opens the box and gets out a black cap, with the SGC logo on the front. It looks great. Jack smiles and puts in on, "thank you Teal’c! I guess I’ll have to say SGC is a collegial hockey team."

"Yeah," adds Daniel, "and you won’t have to introduce yourself to the Goa’ulds next time we meet them".

"Thank you Teal’c! I love it!" Jack says once again as he shakes the Jaffa’s hand. "Now", he adds, "I think this is our Lady’s turn, isn’t it?"

He says as he gives me a big box and place it in front of me. I really wonder what it is. I unwrap the paper and discover in the box a...

"A telescope?" I ask gladly surprised and amazed.

"Yeah, I thought you might want to just look at the stars instead of analysing and calculating whatever you calculate as an astrophysicist. And, there’s something else in the box." I look in and he’s right, there’s a book.

"The Constellations" I read out loud from the cover of the book. Wow! i don’t know what to say. I look up at him and he’s trying to gauge my expression, mine being one of astonishment.

"Thank you sir! I don’t know what to say? This is great!"

"Well, I’m glad you like it. Maybe I’ll be able to impress you with my knowlegde of the constellations and the way my neighbor makes her lasagna." We all laugh and he smiles too.

"Well", Daniel says, "now that we’ve all opened our presents, I guess I’ll go back to bed. And please, don’t ever jump on me again" He tells us with a yawn as he goes upstairs again.

"I believe I will go as well" adds Teal’c. "Merry Christmas once again."

He leaves the room and Jack and I just stay there , looking at each other like idiots. I go sit beside him and I open the book, observing all the constellations and the pictures. Jack stops me from turning the page and points to a group of stars in the book.

"This is Hercules and this is..." he continues but I don’t listen anymore.

I just watch his face, so close to mine and smile at how much passionate he is in his explanantion of the stars.

He must sense I’m not paying attention because he turns his face to look down at me. We’re so close our noses almost brush like our foreheads do, but we don’t make any move, just feel the other’s breath on our face. I bow my head and close my eyes as I prepare myself to say something important.

"I have something to tell you, sir"

"Jack"

"With all due respect, Jack, I think I’m falling in love with you" I say as quickly as possible. I wait for any responses: Jack pulling himself away from me, Jack saying something like ‘I’m sorry Sam, I don’t’, or even Jack kissing me, just anything. But he doesn’t do anything at all. He stays where he is and doesn’t say anything, doesn’t make a move. I open my eyes slowly, afraid to see his expression.

What I see is Jack with a smile on his lips and eyes shut as well. He opens them slowly and looks me directly in the eyes. He takes my hand and brings it to his heart.

"Feel that?" he asks, "That heart’s never been beating so hard and fast. What can I tell you except you have the proof that I’ve fallen for my Major too?" I smile as I feel the reasssuring beating of his heart through his shirt. I bring my eyes back to his, and he bends down slowly, brushing my lips gently with his as we both close our eyes. I shift closer to him and he puts his arm around my shoulder while my hand goes to the back of his neck, bringing him even closer as we (I can’t say who) deepen the kiss.It goes along for a moment, but we have to pull away for some air after a couple of minutes. We smile at each other and Jack pulls me in a big hug, one of his hand in my hair and the other around my waist.

"God! I love you so much, I don’t know how to say it." He whispers in my hair.

"I think you said it pretty well." I say as I hold him tighter. After a moment, he pulls me away from him a bit in order to look me in the eyes and kiss me gently again. He takes my hand, gets up and sits on the couch, bringing me down with him. I rest my head on his chest and I feel him kissing the top of my head.

"Know what?" I ask him.

"No."

"You’re gonna have the flu" I say and he laughs.

"I’m about a hair away from not caring right now, but, it has some good points. You’re gonna have to come over and take care of me."

"Right, merry Christmas" I say as I yawn. He kisses my head again.

"Merry Christmas Sam" he says and we both drift off to sleep. A well deserved one.

Fin

feedback, please? This might influence if I continue writing or hide behind my cupboard!