"Out Of The Room" by Ayn

Title: Out of the Room

Author: Ayn

Rating: NC-17

Spoilers: Very minor one for Solitudes, Divide and Conquer

Disclaimer: Stargate SG1 and its characters are the property of Stargate Productions, ShowTime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. No infringement on copyright intended. No money will be accepted for this work.

Note: I'd like to thank Sam for beta reading this for me. I made a few changes that she did not get to take a look at before she had to go out of town, so if there are any glaring errors, blame me. Comments and constructive criticism appreciated.

Sam ran her hand through the graying hair of the man who clung to her so desperately, even in his sleep. She was still stunned at what had happened between them. A few hours ago, she would have never imagined that she would allow anything like this to occur. When she told him they could leave everything they’d said in that room, she’d meant it. He had too. What had changed? She raked her nails gently over his ear, and he snuggled in even closer to her, pressing his nose and lips into her neck, pulling her tighter against him with the arm and leg he had draped across her. Sam smiled lazily, reveling in the feel of him against her, wondering how much she could get away with without waking him. Deciding not to chance disturbing his sleep, her thoughts drifted back to how this day had started.

They had gated to this planet on a routine mission. No life forms had been found, but the soil and rock formations were packed with minerals Sam had never encountered before. After scouting out their immediate area, they’d decided to set up camp for the night and let her collect as many samples as she could get her hands on before they gated back the next morning. Jack had been bored silly almost immediately, but Daniel had found some interesting "rocks" and had proceeded to expound at great length on how long it had possibly been since this planet had been inhabited by any human life form.

Even though she was totally engrossed in her work, she was immediately on her feet and running when she heard Daniel yell. Jack and Teal’c got to him before she did. Oblivious to his surroundings as he had studied the rock formations, Daniel had stepped a little too close to a ledge and now lay about twenty feet down with his left leg at a decidedly unnatural angle.

"Daniel?!" Jack called urgently as he knelt as close to the edge as he could without going over himself.

"Yeah," he groaned.

"How bad are you hurt?" Jack asked as he motioned for Teal’c to pull a rope from his backpack.

"My leg’s pretty bad…"

"No shit," Jack groused. "I heard the bone snap from 20 yards away. Anything else?"

"Isn’t that enough?" Daniel was looking up at them with an expression somewhere between agony and embarrassment for not paying attention to where he was stepping. Why was it always him?

As Jack and Teal’c prepared to lower Jack down over the ledge, Sam got the medical kit. She took out a couple of splints, an ace wrap, and a bristojet of morphine and handed them to the colonel. Within a few minutes, Jack was splinting Daniel’s leg, and even with the morphine on board, Daniel still yelled his head off. Sam cringed at Daniel’s cries, remembering a similar procedure when she and the colonel had been trapped in Antartica. Within 15 minutes Teal’c and Sam were hoisting Daniel back up.

As they pulled the colonel back up, Sam couldn’t help regretting they’d have to return to the SGC now. Of course, Daniel’s well being was the most important thing, but there were a lot more samples she wanted to collect. As if sensing her disappointment, Jack made a decision that surprised her.

"Teal’c, I want you to go back through the gate with Daniel. Carter’s still got a lot to do, and there doesn’t seem to be anything hostile around here, so we should be fine on our own until tomorrow."

Daniel was relieved that the mission wouldn’t be terminated because of him. Too many missions had been cut short because of one accident or another befalling him. As the excruciating pain in his leg dulled to a persistent throb, Teal’c gingerly lifted him, and they all started the short trip back to the gate.

Sam punched the address for earth into the DHD and watched silently with the rest of the team as the wormhole stabilized. Was it her imagination, or had Teal’c given her and the colonel an odd look just before he’d stepped through the gate? No, she was just being paranoid. Okay, so he’d been in the room when she and O’Neill had professed their feelings for one another. Even so, there had been plenty of occasions since then when they’d worked closely together without any hint of impropriety. She knew Teal’c trusted them, but maybe he was worried that being billions of miles away from Earth on a seemingly uninhabited planet would be too much of a temptation for them. And she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that was what Janet was going to think when the story was related back to her. Janet was her friend, she just wanted her to be happy, but would screwing her commanding officer for one night just because it was unlikely that they’d get caught going to make her happy? Doubtful.

As the wormhole vanished, they both stood staring through the open ring of the stargate for a moment, both seemingly lost in thought. Jack cleared his throat, breaking the silence, and Sam glanced in his direction.

"So, Carter, anything I can do to help you collect these samples?" he asked her with a smile that made her wonder if Teal’c and Janet might be on to something.

***

As a light scraping across his ear pulled him back to semi-consciousness, Jack smiled and pressed his face into her neck. He didn’t want to wake up. Not yet. It might all be a dream, and he couldn’t stand the thought of it ending. He unconsciously pulled her tighter against him, loving the feel of her soft hip pressed into his groin, his fingers splayed along her side, just grazing the fullness of her breast. Even knowing this was probably one of the biggest mistakes he’d ever made, didn’t detract from the euphoria he was enveloped in. Of course, he hadn’t intended for any of this to happen. He’d been as amazed as Sam that all his "good intentions" had slipped away so easily.

Once Daniel and Teal’c had gone back through the gate, Jack had made at least a cursory attempt at offering his services to help her collect her samples. She’d declined, much to his relief, and he had gone about finishing setting up camp. To be honest, he’d stayed as far away from her as he could the rest of the day. Jack knew Sam was genuinely busy, but he was worried about what was going to happen when night fell and they had to share a tent. It had never been a problem before, but with them here alone, he was afraid she was going to want to "talk." Women always wanted to talk about unresolved issues; get it out in the open, dissect it, beat it to death until they could rationalize why whatever "it" was had happened. And what had happened during their testing because of that whole zatarc thing was most definitely unresolved…in more ways than one. In fact, it made him break out into a cold sweat just thinking about it.

Jack had never been one to openly express his emotions, and having to do it in a room full of people hadn’t been his idea of a good time. When he’d had to say that he cared about her a lot more than he should have, he’d looked at no one but her. What he’d seen in her eyes had been a quiet acceptance of something they’d both been trying to deny for years.

As he sat in front of the small fire he’d built watching the sun set, he berated himself for allowing them to get caught in a situation like this. They should have all gone back through the gate with Daniel. He could have made up some excuse for General Hammond that would have sounded reasonable. As he silently cursed himself, Sam walked up and sat down on the other side of the fire across from him.

"I guess that’s about all I’m going to be able to collect tonight," she sighed. "I shouldn’t have much more to do in the morning, though." She stretched her arms above her head, trying to work the kinks out of her upper back.

"Tired?" Jack asked as he handed her a cup of coffee.

Sam smiled her thanks as she took the mug from him. "Yeah. Hope this is decaf."

"Certainly," he replied with a smirk. "Wouldn’t want to do anything to ruin your beauty sleep."

She chuckled as she took a sip of the coffee. "Got anymore MREs over there?" she asked, ignoring his remark.

He tossed her backpack to her, and they ate in a companionable silence. It wasn’t long before the sun was completely down and a small moon shone brightly down on them.

"I’m glad you put the tent up," Sam said, rubbing her hands up and down her arms briskly. "It’s getting pretty chilly out here now that the sun has gone down."

"Yeah," Jack responded, feeling suddenly awkward at the prospect of making small talk.

Seeming to sense his discomfort, Sam stood and stretched her back again. "Well, I think I’ll call it a night."

"Okay," he said, trying not to sound too relieved. "I’ll just put out the fire and be in in a few minutes."

"Goodnight, sir."

"’Night."

As Sam walked toward the tent, Jack berated himself again for being the spineless bastard he knew he was. She was tired. He could sit out here until he knew she’d had plenty of time to fall asleep. He always woke up before she did in the morning, so he could be out and about before she ever even opened her eyes. Then she’d go about collecting the rest of her samples, and they’d be outta here; back at the SGC, safe and sound under the watchful eyes of their friends and associates, and he would have successfully dodged the bullet of having "the talk." So, why didn’t he feel better?

"Admit it, Jack," he grudgingly thought to himself. "You want to know more about how she feels. You want to know just how far she’d be willing to push the regulations. You want her to know that you’d be willing to say ‘fuck the regulations’ if she gave you the word." He closed his eyes and clinched his jaw. He knew that wasn’t going to happen, though. Her career was too important to her and to him. Just because he would be willing to throw caution to the wind, didn’t mean she would, and he didn’t want to put her in a position where she’d have to turn him down. He didn’t think he could stand it if he bared his soul to her and she rejected him.

He finished another cup of coffee and doused the fire. He took his time cleaning things up, then took a slow walk around their perimeter one last time just to check things out. Surely she was asleep by now. He took his jacket and boots off before he entered the tent, trying to make as little noise as possible. He opened the tent flap and peered in, the moonlight partially illuminated the inside. Sam was bundled up in her sleeping bag, facing the side of the tent. He lowered the tent flap and crept over to his own sleeping bag in the semidarkness. He was just settling in when…

"Colonel?" Sam asked softly.

He froze, hesitating a few seconds longer than he should’ve. "Were you expecting someone else?" he joked, hoping he sounded like his usual flippant self.

"Is everything okay?" she responded. She was ignoring his attempt at humor, which was a bad sign.

"Yeah, everything’s fine," he answered, still struggling to sound casual. "I took a walk around our perimeter before I…"

"I mean with us." she interrupted.

He opened his mouth to say something, but couldn’t think of where to start. Before he could come up with something, she continued.

"It’s just that this is the first time we’ve had to work alone together since…the whole zatarc thing…"

He could tell she was still facing away from him, her voice a little muffled by the sleeping bag. Even so, he could still sense that she was having a difficult time trying to find the right words.

"…and you just seem…uncomfortable."

He raised himself up on one elbow and looked in her direction. He was just seeing a dark shadow against the side of the tent, and he knew she couldn’t see him any better, but he had to make her understand.

"No, Carter, I’m just…well…" he was fumbling for words now, and he knew she could tell. Taking a deep breath he tried to start again. "Okay. Yeah. I am a little…uncomfortable." That was a bad start. He didn’t want to make her feel like it was her fault. "It doesn’t have anything to do with you, though," he rushed on, suddenly realizing that didn’t sound right either. "Well, that’s not true. Actually it has everything to do with you…and me." Christ! He was babbling like an idiot. He paused, trying to think of the right thing to say. "It’s just that I’m so…" Groping for the right words and failing, he let out a dejected sigh. "…sorry."

He heard the rustling of her sleeping bag as she turned. When she spoke, her voice was much clearer. She must have turned to face him.

"What are you sorry about?" she asked quietly.

"For everything!" he blurted out. God, if he had to start making a list, they’d be up all night. "Calm down, Jack," he silently chided himself. "She’s not accusing you of anything, and you’ve got to start making some sense." In a quieter more controlled voice, he continued.

"I’m sorry we were on the verge of being fried by a couple of Jaffa before I was willing to acknowledge to myself or to you how I felt. I’m sorry when the time came for me to actually say the words to you I was strapped in a chair in a room with other people listening in when it should have been just me and you. I’m sorry we can’t take this any further without…"

"I’m not sorry about any of that," she interrupted just as quietly as before.

He hesitated for a couple of beats. Even so, he couldn’t keep the surprise out of his voice.

"You’re not?"

Now it was her turn to let out a deep sigh, as though she didn’t know where to start.

"When we rescued you from Edora, was the first time I had to deal with the fact that my feelings for you were beyond my control. I was able to rationalize the fact that you thought you would never be able to return home, you were grateful to Laira for sharing her home with you, making you a part of her family…"

Jack was glad she couldn’t see his face. He wanted to say something, but "sorry" seemed so inadequate. She continued in the same quiet, controlled voice.

"Logically, I had it all figured out, but when you turned away from me and embraced her… I’d never felt anything like that before, and I knew I was lost." She stopped for a moment, seeming unsure of how to proceed. She gave a humorless chuckle. "I thought I was in love with Jonas all those years ago, but I had no idea what loving a man was really all about."

Jack was stunned. "Sam…"

"No, no," she insisted. "Now that I’ve started this, let me finish." She took a ragged breath, and he closed his eyes, knowing she was fighting back tears, but when she began again, her voice was strong.

"When we were standing there with the force field separating us, all I could think about was you getting away. I didn’t want to die knowing I was the cause of you being killed. Then when you looked at me and we both realized… It made everything I’d gone through up to that point worthwhile. The fact that we both lived through that incident was just icing on the cake."

Jack laid there in the dark at a complete loss for words. He’d never heard her sound so vulnerable. The urge to wrap his arms around her to comfort her was almost unbearable.

"Then when you had to admit out loud to me that you cared about me ‘a lot more than I’m supposed to’," she quoted, using his exact words. "I knew you were telling the truth, and all the years I’d spent silently falling in love with you were suddenly justified."

She stopped talking for a moment, and he could make out her shape raising herself up on one elbow to face him.

"I know the chances of us having a normal relationship are slim to none considering our circumstances," her voice was strong now, determined. "But I’m not going to get over loving you, Jack, so I’ll take whatever I can get. I’m not sorry about anything that’s happened, because it’s all I’ve got."

Before he even realized what he was doing, Jack had pulled his legs out of his sleeping bag and was crawling towards her.

***

Sam held her breath as she realized what he was doing. The darkness had given her the courage to say what she felt, but now she wasn’t so sure of herself. Maybe she’d gone too far. As he came closer, she sat up, bracing herself mentally as well as physically. He stopped just in front of her. He was so close, she didn’t even realize he had raised his arm until his fingers touched her shoulder. She didn’t move as he trailed his fingers lightly over her collarbone, up her neck, to cup her cheek in the palm of his hand. She raised her hand to cover his then pressed her lips to his palm. She turned her head back just enough to take his thumb into her mouth, swirling her tongue around the tip, and sucking gently. She smiled at the shudder she felt pass through him.

"No turning back now, girl," Sam thought. "If there was ever any doubt in his mind about how far you’re willing to go, he just got all the proof he needed." He was kneeling in front of her, so she pulled her legs out of her sleeping bag and knelt knee to knee with him, sitting back on her heels.

As if on cue, Jack raised his other hand to the opposite side of her face and lowered his forehead to hers. He kissed the tip of her nose then began to whisper to her.

"I don’t have the words, Sam, so you’ll have to let me show you."

The kiss was everything she’d ever dreamed it would be. Slow and sensual, but not tentative. He knew what he wanted, and he was going for it. As she parted her lips, he slid one hand around to the back of her neck, tangling his fingers in her hair, and dropped the other to her waist. As he drew her against him, she slid her arms around his back, holding on as though she might fall if he released her. He hurriedly jerked her t-shirt out of her pants and started tugging it upwards. She relinquished her hold long enough for him to get it over her head. Even though it was too dark to see, she could imagine the smile on his face when he ran his hands down her back to find that she’d taken her bra off before she’d turned in.

He dragged his fingertips over the skin of her back, lazily moving his hands around to her chest to do a slow exploration of her already hardened nipples. Sam had closed her eyes, losing herself in the marvelous sensation of having his hands on her, when he suddenly released her and sat back. She instinctively reached for him, wanting to renew the contact. She was pleased to find him hurriedly removing his own shirt. As he raised his arms to pull it over his head, Sam started running her hands up his abdomen to his chest. She heard his sharp intake of breath as she ran her short nails over his nipples. Tossing the shirt aside, he again reached for her. Sam slipped her arms around his neck and pressed herself against his bare chest, seeking out his mouth again. The kiss was more urgent this time, as he skimmed his hands down her bare back to cup her rear and pull her against his groin. They both moaned as she pressed against his already hardened length. Without breaking the kiss, he relinquished his grip on her and brought his hands around her waist to start working on getting her fatigues unbuttoned. Pushing her pants and panties down to her knees, he trailed one hand up the back of her thigh then probed between her legs. She parted her legs as much as she could with her clothes bunched up around her knees and gasped into his mouth as his long fingers entered her. She tried to pull away from him to start getting his pants undone, but he wouldn’t release her. Instead, he pushed her back onto the sleeping bag. He drew back from her then just long enough to jerk her pants the rest of the way off.

As Sam lay there trying to get her breathing under control, wondering what he would do next, she felt a gentle caress start on the top of her left foot. His fingers slid slowly upward, around to the back of her leg, massaging her calf. She tensed as she felt his warm breath along the side of her leg then a gentle kiss placed to the inside of her knee. Almost involuntarily, she spread her legs a little farther apart and welcomed the feel of his tongue as it stroked up her inner thigh. She tilted her pelvis up in anticipation and groaned with mock disappointment as he started the same procedure on the right foot. When he got to her thigh again, he slowed down, placing gentle kisses up and down her upper leg and knee. God, she wasn’t going to be able to stand this much longer. "Jack, please," she pleaded. She could feel his smile against the skin of her leg. Before she could take another breath, he ran two fingers down over her clitoris and plunged them into her. As she met his thrust with a moan of pleasure, he slid his other hand under her butt and found her clit with his tongue.

Sam was almost overwhelmed with the sensations coursing through her. She threw her head back and had to struggle not to scream with the pleasure of it. She grasped the sleeping bag with both hands and held on as he continued the sweet torture. Within moments an orgasm shook her to her core. She came, moaning his name and begging for more. He left his fingers in her as she continued to contract around him, but he moved his head to her abdomen, leaving a wet trail with his tongue as he worked his way up to her breast. He was straddling her right leg now, and she bent her right knee, raising her thigh into his crotch, eliciting a groan from him as she tried to give him a dose of his own medicine.

Seeming to have more willpower than she would have ever imagined him capable of, Jack began to suckle at her breast ignoring her pleas for him to get his pants off. He slowly removed his fingers from her and brought his hand up to her other breast, teasing her nipple with his thumb and forefinger. In an effort to encourage him, she pulled his hand to her mouth and took the two fingers which had so recently been inside her into her mouth. What she did with her tongue so distracted him, he finally let her breast slip from his mouth. As he began to place kisses on her neck and ear, she pulled his fingers from her mouth and turned to whisper in his ear. "I want you inside of me, Jack."

"I know," he groaned. "But I know I won’t be able to last long once I feel you around me. I just want you to get as much out of this as possible before I lose control of it."

She ran her tongue around the edge of his ear then sucked the lobe into her mouth. "That’s what I want to feel, Jack," she whispered into his ear. "You…out of control… because of me."

He pulled her mouth to his then and kissed her with such passion it took her breath away. As he leaned into her, he relented and let her start unfastening his pants. Once she had them undone, he raised up long enough to push them off then positioned himself over her on his hands and knees. She reached up to stroke his erection and heard him suck in a sharp breath as she touched him. He was so ready, it had to be almost painful for him. She brought her hands up to his sides and started pulling him towards her. He came to her very slowly, pushing his knees between her legs as he lowered himself. She welcomed his weight as he settled onto her. He kissed her deeply again, running his hands through her hair. She ran her hands down his back, holding him against her as she lifted her pelvis, rubbing his erection against her abdomen. He groaned and buried his face in her shoulder, biting gently.

Without moving his head, he ran his hand down her right side to her thigh, then slowly lifted it to bend her knee. As he lifted his hips to reposition himself, she bent her other knee to give him better access. As she felt the head of his cock slip in, she tilted her hips towards him, and he plunged the rest of the way in with one hard thrust. Sam gasped at the suddenness of his thrust, but clung to him desperately. Neither one moved for a moment, so caught up in the pleasure of finally getting to this point. Jack was panting, trying to control himself she assumed, but Sam would have none of that. She was so ready for him, she knew with very little stimulation she would be at the point of another orgasm, and she wanted Jack there with her this time. Concentrating, she contracted her vaginal muscles as tight as she could around him.

"Oh, God," Jack groaned as his hips involuntarily pumped into her. That was all it took. He couldn’t have stopped then even if he’d wanted to. She met him thrust for thrust as he pounded into her. She came within moments, begging him to come with her, and he didn’t disappoint her. Afterwards, they lay there for a long time, him still buried within her, stroking each other, murmuring words to each other they’d both dreamed of saying for years. When he finally withdrew, she snuggled down into her sleeping bag insisting that he join her, trying to prolong their time together for as long as possible. He gladly obliged and promptly fell into a gently snoring sleep with his arms and legs wrapped around her.

***************************************

They’d both slept for a few hours, but now it was still the middle of the night and they were both awake. Sam shifted a bit, trying to get comfortable, and the resulting stirring in Jack’s groin wasn’t missed by either of them.

"I thought you were asleep," Sam giggled.

"Who can sleep with all this wiggling around," Jack groused, pulling her hips even tighter against his groin.

"Well, it is pretty close in this sleeping bag with us both in here," she responded, snuggling in as close as she could get to him.

"You complaining?"

"Nope."

After a few moments of silence, Jack propped his head up on an elbow and looked down into her face. It must be closer to morning than he thought. He could make out her tousled blond hair in the dim light.

"What is it?" she asked.

"I just wanted you to know that….you’re not in this alone." Even after what had happened between them, he still didn’t really know what to say to her.

She raised her hand and stroked a finger along his jaw. "Thank you."

He captured her hand and brought her palm to his mouth. "I mean it, Sam. I love you, but we’re not a couple of teenagers who think we can run off and live happily ever after just because we’re in love with each other. Our lives are complicated, and what we do at the SGC is important. Too important to just blow off because we think we can’t live without each other."

"I know that, Jack," she said, and he knew that she meant it.

"I know you know it, Sam, but knowing it and being able to live with it are two very different things." He studied what he could make out of her features for a moment before he continued. "This will be more unfair to you than it will be to me. You’ve never had a family or a home. You deserve that, and I may not ever be able to give it to you. I’m not saying we’ll never be together, but it could be years."

Sam raised herself up on an elbow and pushed Jack back down onto his back. "Weren’t you listening last night, Jack? I’ll take what I can get and be happy with it."

Jack wasn’t convinced, but she sounded sure of herself. Time would tell.

"In that case," he said raising himself up so they were nose to nose. "This mission will be over in a few hours, and we’ll have to go back to being CO and 2IC, so let’s not waste anymore time."

"Agreed," she said as she turned her head slightly and captured his mouth.

As he pushed her done onto her back, savoring the taste of her mouth, he couldn’t help worrying about how complicated both their lives were going to get over this. He almost laughed out loud as he thought, "So, what’s new?"

Fini