"Going On" by Carol S. Comer

Title: Going On...

Author: Carol S. Comer

Status: complete

Category: SJR, angst

Spoilers: Big time spoilers for 100 Days and Shades of Grey

Season/Sequel info: 3rd Season prior to New Ground

Rating: PG

Content Warnings: mild language, some violence (none graphic), a little whumping and a lot of whining.

Summary: Lara returns to SGC pregnant with Jack's child.

Disclaimer: Don't own `em. Never will. Copyright infringement was purely intentional, but this bit of FF was written for entertainment purposes only (assuming, of course, that it IS entertaining) and no money changed hands. Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions (who DO own them) well be hard-pressed to prove any intent to cause harm. Characters borrowed, lovingly used and returned without harm.

Author's Notes: Ruth M. King is one of the greatest SG-1 FF writers that I have had the pleasure to read. She was kind enough to offer her beta services on this story. It is a much better piece of fiction for her efforts. Many thanks Ruth.

GOING ON

"Incoming traveler." The technician announced.

"Close the iris." General Hammond ordered as sirens blared and security personnel gathered in the gateroom armed and alert. "Any teams off-world?" The general asked. The technician nodded.

"SG5 and SG8 are off world but neither is scheduled to return for at least 48 hours." Several SG members leaned over the technician's shoulder awaiting a signal and after a brief pause the computer received its code. "I've got a signal, sir." He shouted over the din of the alarm. "It's the code assigned to Edora." The technician announced.

"Lara." Colonel O'Neill gasped and bounded down the stairs from control.

"Open it up." The general ordered and the iris disengaged. Soon after a petite woman with soft brunette curls sweeping her shoulders stepped across the event horizon and Jack climbed the ramp to meet her.

"Lara." He called in greeting and stopped abruptly as he registered the prominent swollen belly. Lara smiled uncertainly and wrapped her hands around her abdomen protectively.

"Fair day, Jack."

Jack closed the distance between them and looking from her waist to her eyes, mouthed the words "ours?" Lara simply nodded. Jack smiled and reached out for her. He wrapped one arm around her shoulders and the other rested on her stomach as if to confirm that Lara's pregnancy were real. They held each other close as SGC personnel came down from the command center and gathered in the gate room.

Sam had just arrived when Daniel caught her eyes. She looked questioningly at the archeologist and then noted the scene on the ramp. It was with a shock that Sam realized that Lara was quite pregnant. Morbid fascination glued her to her spot in the gateroom as she watched the Colonel cradle Lara's hands in his and crouch down on one knee. `Oh my god,' Sam thought horrified. `He's going to propose to her.' Sam and Daniel exchanged another look of surprise although Sam didn't doubt her face registered something more than merely shock.

Lara looked down at Jack kneeling on the ramp in confusion. He smiled comfortingly up at her and asked quietly, "Will you marry me?"

Lara responded with a soft smile and a question: "What of my people?" She asked him.

"They can get along without you." Jack told her with a gentle smile. "You can always go back to visit. Stay with me." He said. "Stay and be my wife, raise my children." Lara rewarded him with a smile that lit up her features and nodded her agreement.

"Yes, I shall be your wife then." Jack stood up and wrapped her in his arms and rocked her gently in his happiness. Sam looked away, her brows furrowed in pain, and sought escape from the crowd.

The buzz in the gateroom was nearly deafening as members of the SGC milled about congratulating Jack and Lara. Sam slipped out the side door and ran back to her quarters. Her pounding footsteps echoed in the deserted hallways. Closing the door behind her she sat down on her bunk pulling her knees up to her chin and wrapping her arms around her legs and holding them tight to her body. She was gasping for air as her chest constricted. The major's emotional turmoil manifested in an almost physical pain.

After a few minutes of staring at the gray walls of her quarters, Sam heard a soft knock. "Sam, can I come in?" Daniel asked quietly through the door. Sam hesitated a moment and then got off her bed and let him in. Daniel looked closely at Sam for something - tears, loss, anger - anything, but all he saw were eyes devoid of feeling. That troubled him far more than if she had been throwing breakable objects at the picture of SG1 that she had on her wall above the desk.

"Daniel." She acknowledged him and sat back down on the bed.

"Are you okay?" He asked as he pulled the desk chair back and swung his leg over sitting backwards facing Sam.

"Of course," she said emotionlessly. "I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" Sam started fiddling with the edges of the bedspread remembering a time just recently in the lab where Dr. Fraiser asked a similar question: `You miss him don't you?' `Yeah.' `Is this a problem for you?' `No, no of course not.' "I mean, I'm happy for them, of course. No one deserves to be happy more than the Colonel." She said flatly, eyes drawn to her finger's labor. She hadn't convinced Janet then and Daniel clearly wasn't buying it now.

"Sam." Daniel called. "Sam, look at me." Sam finally lifted her eyes to meet his and he could see the shine of tears. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know, Daniel." She answered truthfully. "I haven't had much time to think about it." They both sat in silence for a moment while she tried to verbalize what had been running through her mind. A single tear formed a track across her cheek.

"I think its probably best if I transfer back to the Pentagon." Sam said at last.

"Sam, no." Daniel said. "Don't do anything any rash. Now's not the time to make any big, life changing decisions."

"Daniel, this isn't a rash decision. I've been thinking about this since we returned to Edora and the Colonel..." Her voice faded into silence as her mind wandered to their arrival on the planet after almost four months of work on her part. She expected an exuberant bear hug. A small part of her hoped he would kiss her, but all she got was silence. The Colonel hadn't held her, kissed her, or or even thanked her for getting him home. He simply walked away as if he were disappointed she were able to reach him. "So when the third MALP sent back just a few seconds of telemetry we knew the gate was horizontal.." She shook her head willing the memory away and looked back at Daniel. "Then when the Colonel was forced into early retirement and he asked to be returned to Edora... back to her..." Again her voice faltered. "I didn't want to stay. Even after he came back. It's like we've lost something. I've lost something. Faith or hope..."

"Trust?" Daniel asked.

"Yeah, trust." Sam agreed as she swiped a tear from her chin. Daniel simply nodded his head in resignation. Sam had made up her mind and Daniel wasn't sure it was the wrong thing to do.

"Well, I hope you'll consider at least staying with the SGC." He stood up and patted her shoulder supportively. "A lab position or another team - something." Sam looked up at him in gratitude and managed a small smile for him. Daniel leaned down and hugged her warmly. "Don't leave without saying goodbye." He whispered in her ear and then turned and left.

Sam sat at her desk and wrote her letter of resignation from the SGC and request for transfer back to the Pentagon and then faced General Hammond before seeking the solace of her own home. It seemed only appropriate that it was raining when she left the Cheyenne Mountain compound.

* * *

After the festivities in the gateroom calmed and Lara had returned to Edora to prepare to wed the following morning, Jack sat back in the General's office with Daniel and Teal'c having a shot of whiskey with the boys. Jack joked about his "lame bachelor party" trying to lighten the mood but General Hammond and Daniel remained subdued - grim even - and Teal'c, well, Teal'c was Teal'c. There were congratulations all around and his friends seemed happy for him and yet there was something else there. Something they weren't saying. He was just about to ask what was going on when Janet stuck her head in the door and offered her congratulations and asked if Jack needed any help getting things ready for the morning. "No, thanks Doc." Jack answered. "Its just going to be a small ceremony here on base. I'm going to show up. Lara's gonna show up and the mess hall is cooking up a cake." He finished with a shrug. "At least I hope they are." He added. "Just me and my teammates." At that he looked around. "Hey, where is Carter anyway?" Jack asked as if noticing her absence for the first time. Daniel cleared his throat and he and the General exchanged a look as if to say `here it comes.'

"Colonel O'Neill," the General called to him. Jack winced at the formality.

"General." He responded warily, raising an eyebrow.

"Major Carter has requested a transfer back to the Pentagon effective immediately." The General handed him Sam's letter of resignation and request for transfer.

"She did what?" Jack demanded knocking his chair back as he stood in anger. "What's going on here?" He asked looking around. "Daniel?" Jack looked to the archeologist for answers. Daniel found sudden interest in the patterns of light in his whiskey glass. "Janet?" Jack demanded again.

The doctor merely shrugged. "Sorry, Colonel, she didn't say a thing to me." Janet told him, surprise registering in her voice.

"Teal'c?" Jack was getting desperate now.

"I do not know Colonel O'Neill." The Jaffa replied.

"Would somebody tell me what the HELL is going on here?" He demanded. Yet no one spoke. "Oh for crying out loud... General?"

"I'm sorry son, this is between you and the Major."

"Goddamit! This is NOT going to happen." Jack announced as he stormed from the office. General Hammond and Janet exchanged knowing looks before the doctor left for the infirmary. The silence was deafening.

Daniel surmised the party was over, threw back the rest of his whiskey and said "General... Teal'c" before retiring to his office.

Teal'c stood and with a nod of his head said "General Hammond, I will take my leave of you now."

"Fine Teal'c." The General just sighed and closed his door as Teal'c left. Pouring himself another glass of whiskey, the General once again he wondered how he was going to keep the SGC together this time.

* * *

Jack checked topside and was told that Sam had signed out an hour earlier. Her car wasn't in the lot so he assumed she had headed home for the night and followed her there. Sam's car was in the driveway so he rang her doorbell expecting Sam to answer the door. When she still hadn't answered after three rings and some rather loud pounding on door, Jack let himself in fearing the worst. A quick trip through her house, however, confirmed that no one was home. Taking one last look around the living room, Jack left.

He sat in the car awhile wondering when (`if' the bleak side of his mind offered) she would return and then backed his car out of the driveway to look for her. He drove slowly through the neighborhood streets until he spotted the lone figure on the sidewalk running in the rain at an impressive clip. He pulled up beside her and noted the grimace on her flushed face and her rain-soaked clothing.

"Sam." He rolled down the window and called to her. She threw a look his way without slowing her pace. "Carter." He called again forcefully - the Colonel making his appearance. Yet still Sam ran on. "Oh for crying out loud." He muttered throwing the car into park at the side of the road. Jack got out and started running after the errant Major. He had no problem catching up to her. Sam may be younger, but by the looks of her she had been at it for a while and truth be told, he was probably in better shape than she was.

"Carter." He called grabbing her arm from behind. Sam spun around and stopped abruptly, panting and holding her aching side. She merely looked at him without answering - the grimace still evident on her face although he wasn't sure if it were from the stitch in her side or because he still had a hold of her. When she glanced at his hand clutching her upper arm it confirmed the latter. "Sam," he began softly looking deep into her eyes for understanding or forgiveness - he wasn't sure which. She held his challenging gaze but still didn't respond. Finally he gave in and looked away.

Jack glanced down at Sam's barely covered body and was shocked at the changes the last four or five months had wrought. The edge of her hip bones were visible in her lycra jogging shorts and her collar bone was sharp and prominent under her tank top. Jack had no doubt he would be able to count every rib on her gaunt frame. Instinctively, Jack ran his thumb across her collar bone and frowned. Sam just looked away. Jack had heard rumors of how Sam was while he was trapped on Edora - working all night, not eating, not sleeping; someone even suggested that Daniel had found her unconscious on the lab floor one morning, but Sam had never said a thing to him. SG1 had a few weeks of down time but then was asked to negotiate a technology exchange with the Tollans. After the mission, Jack, to all outward appearances, was relieved of his command for stealing weapons technology - a court martialable offense - and retired on Edora. Three more weeks went by before Jack's undercover status was revealed. `Could Sam have wrecked her physical and emotional wellbeing in five months?' Jack asked himself, but the answer was right in front of him - yes. She was pale, thin and clearly on edge.

"How long has this been going on?" He asked her as a friend, not her commanding officer. He felt the weight of guilt on his shoulders for his part in her distress. "Sir, with respect you aren't exactly acting like yourself." "No Carter, I haven't been acting like myself since I met you. NOW I'm acting like myself." Jack shook the memory away.

"How long has what been going on?" She asked him as she pulled away from his touch. Jack couldn't tell if it were hurt or hostility that coated her words. He cocked his head and frowned before pulling her transfer request out of his back pocket.

"This." He said waving the request at her. "How long have you wanted out?" Sadly, Sam just shrugged her response. What was she supposed to say?

"I just can't go on like this anymore." Sam said quietly sweeping her hands down her body as if to say `I just can't do this to myself anymore.' "I don't have anything left to give you."

"Since when is this about me?" Jack asked her, his voice rising in frustration. "Aren't you doing everything you ever wanted to do here?" Sam closed her eyes and shook her head. Frustration radiated off her as she opened her eyes looking straight at her commanding officer. She simply willed him to understand - don't make me say the words her eyes implored. Jack couldn't tell if it were raindrops or teardrops that were coursing down her cheeks.

"Yes, but..." She started to say and then changed her mind. They both stood in the rain looking at each other hoping that one of them could cross the bridge to understanding.

"Carter?" He asked again. Finally Sam's shoulders sagged and her gaze drifted to the puddles on the street. She had given up.

"Fine." She said not meeting his eyes. "I'll stay at SGC, but I want off of SG-1." Sam had made her final play. There were no chips left to bargain with. Jack would marry someone else and she had to find a way to move on.

"Why?" Jack asked Sam, lifting her chin to see her eyes. There was no question it was tears now. "Why don't you want to work with me anymore?" Sam shook her head sadly. Jack either didn't understand or he wanted to make her say it to him. Sam knew that his "denseness" was deliberate - simply an affectation of his - so she assumed he was waiting for her to verbalize what they both knew already.

"Because I don't trust you anymore." She said quietly. Jack frowned again - deep creases furrowed between his brows.

"You don't trust me to keep you safe?" He asked incredulously. "You don't trust me with your life?" Although his foray back into black ops to apprehend the rogue team stealing technology had left the team adrift for a while, Jack was sure they could move beyond his apparent betrayal. Frankly, he had been more worried about how Daniel would take it when he returned to SGC than Sam. Carter was career military. She of all people should understand that a soldier is often asked to do things that may seem, well, out of character for the good of the corps.

"No, sir." Sam said leaning back from his grasp. "I don't trust you with my heart anymore." With that hanging in the air she turned and walked away. Jack just let her go stunned into silence by her admission. He always knew in a way what she was feeling. Hell, he probably felt the same way for her - it was an unspoken understanding. But he never expected either of them to actually put into words the one thing they weren't allowed to feel.

As Jack watched as Sam turned the corner and headed back towards her house, the rain began in earnest and he was pelted with fat rain drops instantly soaking him. He ran back to the car and pulled up beside her. Sam was still easily two miles from her house.

"Get in." He commanded. Sam looked at the car and then down the street measuring the cold and wet distance versus the warm dry car but a continuation of their brief and unpleasant conversation. She hesitated for a moment so he got out of the car and physically guided her to the passenger side. Opening the car door he gestured for her to sit down. Resignedly she sat, pulling the seat belt around her and stared emotionlessly ahead.

Jack pulled away from the curve and they drove in silence back to her house.

"Sam, I'm sorry." Jack said sitting in her driveway. She had made no move to get out of the car so anything he wanted said, Jack knew she was giving him one chance to say to her. "I never meant to hurt you." He continued. "Things... happen. People... change." Jack looked to her for help but she continued to stare through the windshield. "I can't tell you why Lara and I happened. Only that I thought I would never return and I was trying to get on with my life." Sam suddenly looked at him as if ready to protest. Her mouth opened on the verge of a comment but then she shut it and looked away again. "I know," he acknowledged her unspoken complaint. "I know, I should have waited. I should have known you would find a way to bring me home." He picked up her hand and cradled it in his. "You always did. I just stopped expecting miracles from you the one time I shouldn't have. I stopped taking for granted the fact that you save my sorry ass every time I find trouble or trouble finds me." Sam smiled a tiny smile at this. "I stopped taking you for granted but then, what did I have?" He asked. "Nothing. No hope, no way home, nothing. So I grieved. I mourned the loss of my home, my friends," Jack said and leaned into Sam meeting her eyes "and you" he added "and then I moved on."

Sam pulled her hand back from him knowing what was coming. "So I made my life with Lara and I was happy, or as happy as I could be in the circumstances." She turned to look out the window trying to physically distance herself from the pain of what he was about to say. "I don't know if I loved her, or love her, but it doesn't matter now." He said. "Sam, its my child she's carrying. I have to do this."

"So what do you want from me?" Sam turned and looked at him, not with anger, but with sadness in her eyes.

"I want you to stay." He said. "I want you on my team... and I want you to be happy."

"I can't do that." She implored him to understand raising her bony arms to emphasize her point. "I can't do this to myself anymore. I don't eat. I don't sleep." Her arms flopped back into her lap in defeat. "Please, just let me go." She pleaded looking deep into his eyes. "Just give me the transfer. If not out of the SGC at least to a lab position or another team." Jack sighed deeply. "Please." She repeated softly and he nodded his agreement reluctantly.

"Thank you." Sam said quietly as she slipped out the door. Jack closed his eyes overcome by a renewed sense of loss. By the time he opened them she was already inside so he pulled away. Sam watched him leave and sat down heavily against the door. She released her pain in great wracking sobs and fell asleep, spent on the cold linoleum in the entryway.

Sam awoke at dawn to a deep chill. It was still early so she got up and went to her bed - burying herself deep under the blankets as a barrier against what the day would bring. She was physically and emotionally exhausted, yet somehow she had to find the reserves to stand in her dress blues and watch her Colonel marry that Lara woman.

* * *

It was a small ceremony held on base. Daniel and General Hammond stood with Jack and Lara's son Garan stood by her side. Janet and Teal'c sat in the first row of pews and Teal'c peppered Janet with all manner of questions about this strange Earth tradition. Sam reluctantly arrived prior to the ceremony's inception and slipped quietly into the back row behind several members of the stargate command. The bride looked happy. The groom looked happy. And Sam, well, she was miserable, but she was also a Major in the Air Force and she had an obligation to this command. So Major Carter attended the wedding, congratulated the newlyweds and held her tears for the time she would be alone.

The General had caught her after the ceremony and asked if she would consider staying if she were transferred to another team. Sam hesitated, but ultimately agreed. The Major was surprised when General Hammond offered her the command of SG3. With Colonel Makepeace's recent arrest for his role in the thefts of alien technology, the lead position on that team was vacant. The General saw the position as an opportunity to keep Major Carter at the SGC and Samantha saw it as a way to stay and save face. `A command,' she thought with more than a little surprise. So, now Sam was here at Jack's wedding reception representing her new team - SG3 - with honor and pride.

* * *

The Colonel left after the reception for an extended honeymoon which basically was to entail settling Lara and Garan into his home and familiarizing them with the customs and opportunities of Earth. `How many grooms have THAT responsibility?' he though ruefully. SG1 was scheduled for several months of downtime, so Teal'c returned to Chu'lak and Daniel gleefully locked himself in his office with his artifacts occasionally joining another SG team off-world. Jack made frequent appearances on base despite the stand down but all in all it was pretty quiet for SG1.

Major Carter, on the other hand, ran her new team ragged - sprinting up and down the mountain, hand-to-hand combat exercises and weapons training. Lt. Pirelli complained it was worse than boot camp, but the Major insisted that they learn to work together as a team before going off-world.

One night several weeks later, Jack was stalking the base after hours and he came across the General in the command center sipping coffee and wistfully looking out over the gateroom.

"General Hammond." Jack called in greeting.

"Colonel." He acknowledged. "I thought you were supposed to be on your honeymoon." The General pointed out.

"I am... We are." Jack shifted uncomfortably.

"But..." The General prompted.

"Yeah, well, no village to rebuild or harvest to sow..." Jack shrugged with an embarrassed smile. "You know how it is..." He trailed off into silence.

"You don't have much in common." General Hammond completed the thought for him.

"No." Jack nodded in agreement and they both stood in silence, looking out over the gateroom.

"Miss it?" The General asked finally.

"Oh yeah." He agreed.

"So what are you going to do, son?" General Hammond asked point blank turning his attention to his second in command.

"Well, the baby's due in about six weeks. After that, hopefully, Lara will settle in to raising our child and I can come back here..." `Where I belong' hung unspoken in the air between them. Jack cleared his throat and silence engulfed the two.

"So, how's Sam doing?" Jack asked trying to sound casual. Hammond merely raised an eyebrow at this.

"Fine," he responded. "She's running her team ragged, I hear." The General added with a small smile.

"Damn," Jack swore softly to himself. "I thought she was done punishing herself like that." He said. The General placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and shook his head.

"It's not like that, Colonel, She's doing well. The Major is fine-tuning her team in preparation for off-world missions. Major Carter is running them up and down the mountain and putting them through combat training, but she's not demanding anything unreasonable and between you and me, she looks good. I was in the mess hall yesterday and I swear she could out-eat the marines on her team. I think you'll find when you get back that she's fit, alert and healthy." Jack sighed with audible relief. "Colonel O'Neill, I believe Major Carter will come into her own in this command."

"Good," Jack sighed. "She deserves a break."

Two weeks later SG3 had their first off-world mission `under new management' as it were. Sam, the marines, Pirelli, Johnson and Green, and the linguist Dr. Hunter geared up and headed up the ramp - Pirelli at point and Sam riding sweep. When she got to the gate, the Major placed her hands on the event horizon and touched the shifting space with all the wonder she had felt her first time through the ring. Unbeknownst to Sam, as she paused watching the shifting light play against the worm hole, Colonel O'Neill stood behind her in the command center and gave her a small salute and wished her quiet luck before she slipped the surly bonds of Earth.

* * *

SG3 returned promptly four days later from P2B558 with established relations with the Dalstron people and a promising source of Naquadah. Colonel O'Neill greeted the team from command upon return. He hadn't seen Sam smile like she was as she exited the gate since the night they watched the `fire rain' together on Edora. The markings of P5Z768 were permanently etched on their lives now. So much had happened since that night and he didn't want to spoil Carter's moment in the sun so Jack slipped out before Sam made it up from the Gateroom.

The mission was an unmitigated success and the five SG members found themselves drinking to their good fortune in Pirelli's quarters late that same night after the briefing. The team owed most of its thanks to Dr. Hunter, so when Pirelli went so far as to toast their new leader, the other members pronounced him too drunk to drive and confined him to his bunk until morning. Sam was surprised at how easily acceptance came and how comfortable the mantle of command was sitting on her shoulders. She missed SG1 - she missed the Colonel - but here she had something of her own and, more importantly, she had a fresh start.

Mission two was a primordial planet requiring only air, soil and water samples. The team was gone less than a day and returned with little important to report at the briefing. SG3's third mission that same week brought its first casualties. Johnson was struck in his leg with some form of primitive projectile when the Hasykins declared that SG3's arrival through the Great Stone Ring was blasphemous and began to fire upon the team. Major Carter was barely able to throw the Captain through the Stargate when she herself was struck in the thigh and stumbled through after. SG3 bought itself a couple weeks downtime as its members healed. Pirelli sat between the two beds confining Carter and Johnson practically from sunup to sundown entertaining them with a running commentary on the base, their missions, and the state of the world in general. Lt. Green and Dr. Hunter were frequent visitors and even Daniel managed to drop in on Sam several times during her rehabilitation.

Jack had tried to visit Sam when he was on base but found that her bedside was always surrounded by well-wishing teammates. He felt out of place among the tight bonds of her new team, so Jack never did stop by before Sam was released several days earlier than expected. If she had noticed his absence, Sam never let on and SG3 resumed its off-world exploration almost immediately.

During SG3's fourth mission, Major Carter led her team across the mountain ranges of P4X582. Lara went into labor and Charlotte Lara O'Neill was born while Sam was off-world. Sam sent a card and baby gift when she returned, but SG3 wasn't on base long enough to visit the Colonel's newborn daughter. Within twelve hours, the team was out on P8G448 exploring an ancient temple with markings similar to those found in the Mayan pyramids on Earth. Sam had discovered that the easiest way to cope with loss was to throw herself into work - and she had done so with a gusto. SG3 was carrying more than its share of missions with enthusiasm and success.

SG1 resumed its duties upon Colonel O'Neill's `official' return to the SGC. Many had remarked that he had been in the complex during his stand down as much as he always had been, but it had been several months since SG1 had been off-world and, more importantly, since the team had lost one of its members. Daniel and the Colonel were pacing and Ferretti was nervously nibbling at the dry skin on the side of his thumbnail and wondering how he could ever replace Major Carter. Only Teal'c remained impassive as they awaited the go ahead from the General. Their first mission back was what the Colonel disdainfully dubbed a `milk run.' It was a follow-up mission to P4X582 to establish trade relations with the villagers SG3 had contacted several weeks earlier.

SG1 had returned to duty, but Jack remained reluctant to be off-world for long periods of time with a wife and child at home. Dr. Jackson had lost his wife and had found her child so there was nothing left to search for and no fire lit his work. Daniel was growing more distant from the rest of the team and SGC personnel often speculated it wouldn't be long before he retired from SG1 and simply remained on staff as a consulting archeologist.

More and more, the bulk of the missions were going to SG3 and its young and energetic team. Sam was thriving in the limelight. SG3 had unofficially become the SGC's flagship team. Crowds frequently gathered in the Gateroom to greet Major Carter and her marines when they arrived. The team was assigned the most challenging details and, in return, received more than its fair share of injuries. Janet even threatened to rename the Daniel Jackson memorial bed in SG3's honor. Luckily Dr. Hunter was neither as clumsy nor as reckless as Dr. Jackson, but SG3 still found themselves on the losing side of several arguments with hostile locals and unexpected Jaffa.

Then the inevitable happened: SG3 did not come home.

* * *

Major Carter had led SG3 for more than a year when the team was assigned reconnaissance on P2X955. SG7 had explored the planet several weeks prior and met with local villagers who told the team members of a great weapon that allowed matter and energy to pass right through a person possessing the Great Shield. SG3 was tasked with contacting the villagers and locating the weapon to bring back to SGC. Sam had assumed the shield worked off some form of phase shifting energy and was anxious to `backwards-engineer' the device for replication and use on Earth.

Armed with the same information, Heru-ur, however, had already arrived on the planet and left his Jaffa servants to find the technology and enslave the villagers.

SG3 was met at the gate by Jaffa guards and Pirelli and Hunter were cut down almost immediately after exiting the gate with mortal wounds from the staff weapons fire. Major Carter was able to roll to safety and Captain Johnson laid down covering fire as Lt. Green sought a defensive position. The ensuing fire fight left the Major with a staff burn to her right arm - it was not a fatal injury but it left her arm dangling uselessly at her side. Forced to shoot left-handed, her aim was off and her reflexes were slow. Johnson suffered multiple cuts and abrasions as the rock he crouched behind exploded with the impact of a staff blast. As the Jaffa guards closed in on the remaining members of SG3, Carter, Johnson and Green managed to eliminate several before being overwhelmed, surrounded and taken hostage.

The three members of SG3 were placed in separate cells and bound. As the Major worked to loosen the rope around her ankle, she called to Green and Johnson and both responded from nearby cells. "See if you can get loose," she instructed the marines. Sam worked on the bindings on her legs for several hours, but her progress was limited by her injured arm. As Major Carter wound the rope back from her ankle, she heard a noise and looked up to find Captain Johnson, who had escaped and was attempting to free her. His efforts were cut short when a Jaffa guard returned for Carter and hit him with a staff blast in the chest at close range. Sam screamed "No!" as he fell to the ground with a dull thud. Her shout reverberated in the lingering silence.

The Jaffa guard little more than kicked the marine out of the way before he opened Major Carter's cell door and called for her to follow. Shock still registered on her face as she motioned to the bindings on her ankles that inhibited her ability to walk. A second guard entered the cell and removed the remnants of the rope and grabbed the Major roughly by her injured arm and pulled her to her feet. Sam yelped in pain.

"Major!" Lt. Green called from his cell in desperation. "Leave her alone!" he yelled, but the Jaffa guards ignored his plea and prodded the Major forward.

Major Carter was led to another room and forced to kneel on the cold hard surface. Her arms were still bound at her wrists.

"What is this technology we hear of from the villagers?" The Jaffa guard demanded of her.

"I don't know what you are talking about." Sam responded defiantly. The Jaffa guard nodded at his second who, with the blunt end of the staff weapon, hit Carter across her back with a sharp crack. Carter winced in pain.

"What is this technology of which we are told?" The Jaffa demanded again.

Sam looked up at the guard and responded slowly and coldly, "I. Don't. Know." She was rewarded with a bruising jab to her stomach. Sam bent over in pain and retched as a sharp pang radiated from her abdomen.

When her coughing subsided and Sam straightened, the Jaffa guard again addressed her: "Tell me how the technology works and where we can find the weapon."

Sam answered quietly without looking up. She shook her head sadly and her arms were wrapped protectively around her waist, "I don't know," she repeated weak and short of breath. At her refusal to give them the information they sought, the second Jaffa guard backhanded Sam causing her head to slam against the wall and hit the cement blocks with great force. Sam collapsed on the floor blissfully unconscious.

The Major awoke back in her cell with no concept of how much time had passed. She called out for Green, but no one responded. Sam feared the Lieutenant had been taken for the same questioning and knew Green would be unable to give them the information about the technology. Sam worried about his safety and when she heard the cell door open next to hers, she called out to the lieutenant again. Lt. Green answered weakly and assured the Major that his injuries were minor. Carter was not convinced.

Major Carter and Lt. Green were taken repeatedly over the following days - always with the same questions and always with the same result. She would wake up in her cell after losing consciousness from the beatings. Sam had lost count of the number of concussions she had sustained. The Major was sure her left arm was now broken and she had started to spit up blood. Large welts coursed across her back and down her legs and her chest and arms were covered in angry bruises. By the third day, Green stopped responding to her calls and Sam feared she was all alone. She didn't know whether the lieutenant was unconscious or dead, but either way Sam knew she'd have to get out soon if she were going to survive.

* * *

When SG3 missed its appointed time of return and did not respond to repeated calls from the SGC, General Hammond consulted with Colonel O'Neill while a UAV was sent through for long range air reconnaissance. Various other team members made their way to the command center as often happened when the command center had lost contact with a team. It was almost like a bedside vigil - the available members would gather in and around the gate room and await news of the team's fate.

They clustered around the monitors in command anxious for word. The members of the SGC were shocked into silence as the images of the battle scarred terrain came through. Pirelli and Hunter's bodies and the lifeless forms of a dozen Jaffa guards were visible on the monitors. Somebody in the command center gasped as several Jaffa appeared on the screen and the UAV's transmission halted abruptly when a Jaffa guard spotted its flight and shot the plane down with a staff blast. Daniel reached out and touched the screen and whispered, "oh, god, Sam."

After a moments pause to regain his balance, Colonel O'Neill stepped up bouncing nervously from foot to foot and told the General "Sir, SG1 volunteers for the rescue mission." Teal'c and Ferretti nodded their agreement.

"Hold on, Jack," the General responded. "I'm not sending SG1 in there alone to face a squadron of Jaffa guard. It would be suicide." Colonel O'Neill started to protest, but the General silenced him with a simple gesture. General Hammond's eyes swept around the command center and sought the leaders of the various teams. Each commander nodded almost imperceptibly as the General caught their eyes. With explicit agreement, General Hammond turned to the Colonel and announced, "SGs 2, 5 and 8 will accompany you." Colonel O'Neill nodded his head anxiously.

"Gear up everybody." The General ordered. "You ship out in an hour." Less than forty-five minutes later, the SG teams assembled in the gate room dressed and armed for combat.

Colonel O'Neill went through the wormhole first diving out from the event horizon and rolling for cover. Teal'c was right on his heels and they proceeded to lay down covering fire for the remainder of the squadron to exit the wormhole and take up defensive positions. The SGC made its stand in the area around the gate with the Colonel sheltering Dr. Jackson behind him. The Jaffa guarding the ring were easily disposed of, but not without cost - two more marines were lost in the skirmish.

The teams made their way towards the village staying low and eliminating the Jaffa guard they encountered. O'Neill and Teal'c moved ahead to scout out where the remainder of SG3 were being held and if they were still alive. Daniel was close behind with a half dozen marines. The remaining team members fanned out emptying the buildings in the village of Jaffa and releasing the imprisoned villagers.

"Colonel O'Neill," Teal'c called pointing to a square building ahead of the two. "I believe this is where you will find Major Carter and her team." The Colonel and Teal'c crouched behind a low line of shrubbery to observe the building and await the arrival of Daniel and the marines he accompanied. O'Neill removed his binoculars from the upper pocket of his vest and noted several Jaffas guarding the entrance. When more of the teams caught up to the Colonel and Teal'c, Jack motioned for two of the marines to circle the building seeking an alternative route into the building. They returned and signaled back to the Colonel that there was no other visible means of entry into the building.

"Are you sure about this Teal'c?" Jack asked before deciding whether to take the building.

"Quite sure, O'Neill." Came the Jaffa's reply. The decision made, the Colonel motioned to the team to prepare to attack the guards at the door and secure the building.

* * *

Four guards came to claim Major Carter but when they pulled her to her feet, Sam found she was unable to stand. The Jaffa guards dragged her to the central room and dropped her into a heap against the wall. Sam gasped as she noticed that the bodies of both Lt. Green and Cpt. Johnson lay lifeless on the floor nearby. Major Carter closed her eyes and a sob escaped her. She had failed miserably and her team had paid the ultimate price for her inadequacies.

"You are Tau'ri." Heru-ur's guard stated. "What do you seek here?" Sam lifted her chin off her chest in an effort to face her accuser.

"We came to this planet looking for the same weapons technology that you are seeking now," she told the Jaffa, "but we never found the great shield."

"You lie." The guard accused and Sam readied herself for the accompanying blow.

"No." Sam argued rubbing the jaw where she was struck. "An earlier team had only made contact with the villagers here," she told her captors, "they were not taken to the surrounding hills and shown where the villagers hide the device." She said. "We hadn't even left the stargate before my team was taken and killed." The Major glared at her Jaffa captors.

The Jaffa proceeded to confer amongst themselves in a language that the Major could not understand. Then a Jaffa guard turned to Sam and told her "you will tell us all you know of this weapon."

"I don't know ANYTHING," she cried - hot tears of frustration pooling in her eyes. With a nod from the Jaffa guard, two of the others grasped Major Carter by her arms and lifted her into a standing position. Carter gasped in pain and a wave of nausea passed over her.

The Jaffa guard proclaimed "Then you are of no use to us," and another Jaffa aimed his staff weapon at her chest. Sam shut her eyes, whispering a silent prayer to a god she wasn't sure she even believed in anymore, and awaited the fatal blast.

At the moment Carter heard the staff weapon click open in readiness, the fire fight erupted outside. The two guards holding the Major released her and she fell unceremoniously to the floor. All four Jaffa rushed out of the room prepared to repel the invaders only to meet a quick death as they emerged from the building. Major Carter landed in a jarring heap on the cement, her forehead bouncing painfully off of the hard surface and curled helplessly into a ball.

Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c made their way into the prison and searched for the remaining members of SG3. Daniel and the rest of the SG teams remained outside covering the building from all sides. After opening the doors to several empty cells, Jack found Sam in a pile on the floor between the bodies of her two team mates in a large central room.

He crossed to her in three large steps. "Sam," he called softly bending down and cradling her head in his hands. She barely had the strength to raise her eyes to his face.

O'Neill lifted her gently into a sitting position and she fell into his arms sobbing "They're all gone... my team... they're all gone." Colonel O'Neill rocked her gently whispering words of comfort while Teal'c stood guard at the door.

"Oh god, Colonel, what have I done?"

Jack stroked her hair and whispered "shhh, there's nothing you could have done here." Sam shuddered against his shoulder. "You did the best you could. Sometimes the odds are just too great for anyone to succeed." He told her. They sat in silence as Jack held Sam and rocked her like a child cooing comforting sounds softly in her ear. She shook with tears wracking her frame and was seized by a coughing fit leaving the Colonel's shirt covered with speckles of blood. Jack pulled away from the Major and looked from his shirt to her face with great concern before wiping spots of blood off her chin with his sleeve.

"Colonel O'Neill, we must depart soon if we are to safely return to the stargate." Teal'c reminded the Colonel.

"Can you walk?" Jack asked. Sam shook her head `no' and shrugged uncertainly, so the Colonel helped her to her feet, wrapping his arms around her ribcage for support. Sam cried out in pain and went limp in his arms. "Sam." He called lightly slapping her cheeks. "Sam." He repeated. When she didn't respond, the Colonel picked her up gently and carried her out of the building cradling her slack figure to his chest. Colonel O'Neill lifted Sam's wrist and searched for a pulse. He felt a rush of relief when he picked up her weak and rapid heart beat. Teal'c stepped up behind him and the Colonel shifted Carter higher in his arms in order to move freer and faster toward the gate.

The remaining SG teams had secured the area and dozens of scared villagers huddled behind the hedge row. Two marines were sent back to recover the bodies of Johnson and Green. "Lieutenant Colonel." Colonel O'Neill called to Brighton.

"Yes, sir." Brighton snapped back.

"What's your status?"

The Lieutenant Colonel swept his eyes around taking a quick inventory before reporting that "All Jaffa guards were neutralized upon contact." O'Neill nodded his approval. "We do, however, have the problem of the villagers, sir." Brighton continued as he gestured toward the huddled masses. O'Neill frowned.

"If the Jaffa are dead, why is there any danger?" the Colonel asked.

"According to the villagers, the great shield still lies in a cave in the foothills." Brighton explained pointing toward the mountain range encircling the village. "Heru-ur could return in search of the weapon." He asserted. "If that happens, the villagers will either be killed or taken as slaves."

"That is correct, O'Neill." Teal'c confirmed. "Heru-ur will most likely send more guards in search of the Great Shield now that he is aware of its existence."

"Oh hell." Colonel O'Neill swore. "We'll have to take them back to the SGC with us until they can be relocated." He announced to the disparate group. "Let's move out, campers," he yelled.

The SGC teams herded the villagers toward the stargate with marines walking guard on all sides of the group alert for remaining Jaffa activity. Two Jaffas were encountered and eliminated, but only after one villager was struck in the thigh with the energy from a staff weapon. Ferretti picked up the refugee, anchored him over his shoulder, and carried him to the gate. Daniel dialed up the Earth coordinates and sent through SG3's signal in honor of the fallen team.

Jack hugged Sam tighter to his body for safety and stepped through the gate calling for medical assistance. Teal'c remained behind to coordinate the evacuation of the refugees and to see to the grim task of returning the bodies of their fallen comrades home. The villagers made their way through the gateway and were met on the ramp by medical technicians assessing the physical status of each refugee. Dr. Fraiser was huddled over Major Carter's unconscious form inventorying the damage wrought upon Sam's frail body by the Jaffa captors. Colonel O'Neill hovered close by with his eyes glued to Sam's pale and immobile form. "Doc?" He called in question without looking away from the Major.

"I don't know anything yet, Sir." Dr. Fraiser responded curtly. "We need to get her to the infirmary, now." She said yelling for a gurney and a team to assist.

Lt. Col. Brighton brought up the rear with Teal'c and several other marine guards who were carrying the bodies of the honored dead. A silence descended over the gateroom and the SGC members that were not attending to the critically injured stood and saluted their lost team mates. Dr. Fraiser paused momentarily and bowed her head in a silent prayer and the Colonel solemnly saluted before the team wheeled Sam for away diagnosis and treatment of her injuries.

After a respectful moment, General Hammond leaned over to Sgt. Siler and quietly told him to close the iris. The solid blades of trinium slicing together to form a perfect circle created a fitting backdrop to the parade of fallen soldiers and their bodies were laid in quiet ceremony side by side, next to the ramp.

* * *

They wheeled Major Carter into the infirmary. Jack followed on the heels of the gurney with one hand on the edge of the cart to maintain a connection. "Three, two, one." A technician called and Dr. Fraiser and three med techs transferred Sam from the gurney to an operating table. The doctor felt for a pulse and then leaned over and listened to the Sam's heart and lungs. Technicians moved in studied chaos setting up monitors, drawing blood, intubating the Major and stringing IV lines. "We'll need x-rays of Major Carter's chest and abdomen." Dr. Fraiser ordered.

Jack stood in the corner of the room with his eyes glued to the heart monitor. He occasionally threw a worried glance in the doctor's direction, but she ignored his plea. "Doc?" Jack called to her in frustration.

Janet finally looked up with barely concealed impatience and told him, "She's got multiple contusions and lacerations. Her left arm is obviously broken and her right arm is severely burned from a staff blast. She appears to have several broken ribs, a possible punctured lung and her distended abdomen indicates that she has serious internal injuries. We'll have to operate immediately to stop the internal bleeding."

A laundry list of Sam's injuries was not the information Jack sought. "Bottom line, doc, is she going to make it?" He asked anxiously. Janet shook her head and shrugged sadly.

"We won't know anything until we get her into surgery." She said tiredly. "Colonel, this is going to take a long time, you really should wait outside."

A medical technician took the Colonel by the arm. "Let the doctor do her job," he said quietly and led Colonel O'Neill out of the infirmary. Jack found himself in the hallway as the doors closed behind him. He sighed with worry and leaned his forehead against the cold hard metal of the door.

The Colonel spent seven long hours pacing the hallway in front of the infirmary. Teal'c stood impassive by the side of the infirmary doors. Daniel had pulled up a chair and sat with his head resting in his hands and General Hammond came up from command regularly for an update. Each of them could have easily waited in their quarters, or the command center or the gateroom, but all four wanted to be close, as if they could share their strength with Sam by proximity alone.

The infirmary door finally opened and Janet emerged pulling down her mask and peeling off bloody gloves. "Only time will tell now." She told the anxious group. "We've done all we can to repair the damage. The rest is up to the Major."

"Doc?" Jack caught her arm. Dr. Fraiser stopped and looked at the Colonel, the exhaustion evident in her eyes.

"Jack... Colonel." She said. "Sam made it through the surgery, but there were substantial internal injuries. The next forty-eight hours are critical." She told him.

"Can I see her?" He asked her. Dr. Fraiser's initial reaction was to tell him to wait until the morning, but she saw the need in his eyes and reluctantly agreed.

"Don't stay too long." She cautioned him and sought escape in her office to cry - for her friend's condition, for the loss of SG3, for her limitations as a surgeon and the limitations of medical science in general.

Jack opened the door of the infirmary cautiously and looked around. There was no movement in the room. Sam laid pale and motionless surrounded by a series of monitors forming a canopy around her bed. Jack was drawn to the machine that monitored her heart rate. The Colonel watched the blue line jump with her pulse and listened to the soft soothing sound of her heart beat. He found it calming and reassuring. Jack leaned in close - his lips sweeping her earlobe - and whispered "I'm here Sam." But instead of leaving the infirmary, Jack pulled a chair up to the side of the bed and rested his head against the heart monitor listening to the soft ka-thump, ka-thump, ka-thump and drifted off to a restless sleep.

He awoke to find Daniel standing over her bed and Dr. Fraiser checking Major Carter's vital signs and injecting a clear liquid into Sam's IV line. "How is she, Doc?" He asked her.

"Sorry, Colonel, all we can do is wait." Janet repeated as she checked the dressing on the Sam's burned right arm.

The Major gained consciousness briefly late that afternoon, but did not recognize her friends or her surroundings. She muttered incoherently for several minutes before drifting back into unconsciousness. The following morning in the wee hours before dawn, she awoke again. Jack was standing at her bedside, having been unable to sleep. He was surprised when Sam reached out for his hand and pulled him close to her. She was muttering something under her oxygen mask - Jack could barely make out the words but it sounded like she was repeating, "cold... cold."

Colonel O'Neill called for the doctor and told Janet what he thought Sam had been saying. Dr. Fraiser assured him it was not unusual given her low blood pressure, and called to have a heating blanket to be placed atop of her.

Jack was still in his chair by Sam's bed, leafing through a magazine, when he felt a hand upon his shoulder. He looked up to find the General standing behind him staring at the Major's form.

"How is she doing?" General Hammond asked.

Jack just shook his head sadly. "I don't know, sir." He said. "She just looks so pale and fragile lying there." Jack stood up in respect to the General's position and they both quietly watched the rise and fall of Sam's chest.

The General nodded and then looked hard at Colonel O'Neill. Noting Jack's bloodshot eyes and tired expression, he asked, "Colonel, have you been home since SG3 left?"

Jack shook his head `no.' "I didn't want to go until I was sure that Major Carter was out of the woods."

The General frowned but then nodded his understanding and said softly, "Try and get some rest, son."

Later Major Carter awoke to pull the oxygen mask away from her face, mumbling "hurts." Jack gently knocked her hand away from the mask and Teal'c sought the doctor.

"Doctor Fraiser, Major Carter appears to have regained consciousness again." He told her. Daniel stood by with his arms crossed across his chest and his brows furrowed with concern. Jack held Sam's hand in his to keep her from struggling with her oxygen mask while Dr. Fraiser removed the offending apparatus.

"It hurts." Sam cried again.

Jack looked up at the doctor as Daniel asked her "Isn't there anything that you can do for the pain?"

Janet shook her head sadly and said "Her blood pressure is still too low. Giving her any more sedatives or pain medication would be dangerous right now." Jack grimaced as Sam struggled on the bed writhing in pain. His brows furrowed and he frowned. Dr. Fraiser saw his lip quiver just slightly as if he were fighting tears. "If its any consolation, sir," she said, "she won't remember any of this when she wakes up." Janet placing a comforting hand on the colonel's shoulder.

In frustration, he rubbed both his hands across his face roughly and groaned. "Is she getting any better?" He asked as Sam calmed and drifted back to sleep. Janet smiled and assured him that Sam was out of danger and, although it would take time, the Major would recover.

Jack was awakened repeatedly as Sam cried out in pain through the night. Finally, he gave up sleeping and pulled the chair up to her bed. He rested his arms on her mattress and cradled his head in the well they formed, his forehead lightly grazing her right leg.

Sam was fighting for consciousness, but she could not yet open her eyes from the lingering effects of the anesthesia. She searched her immediate surroundings with small movements of her right hand finding her left arm immobilized by a sling. Her fingertips grazed across the warm softness of human flesh. "Pirelli?" Sam called soft as a mewing kitten. Jack had been resting his forehead in his arms leaning against the mattress of Sam's bed. At the sound of her voice, he sat up abruptly and took her hand in his.

"Sam." He called patting her hand lightly. "Sam." The Major struggled to open her eyes and the vision of Colonel O'Neill swam before her.

"Colonel, sir." She said looking around disoriented - her eyes achieving focus only sporadically. "I thought it was Pirelli." Jack leaned in close, barely able to hear her quiet voice. "He always sat with me here." She told him trying to clear her head of the confusion. Jack grimaced in response.

"I'm sorry Sam, Pirelli, he's ... he's."

"Gone." Sam finished for him. "Yes, sir, I remember." They sat in mournful silence, Jack stroking the back of her hand with his thumbs. A line of tears coursed from her eyelids to the bedside and Sam turned her head away from him seeking privacy for her grief. "Colonel, can I be alone for awhile?" She asked him her voice cracking in pain. Jack was reluctant to leave her side, but respected her need to mourn in private.

"Sure, Sam." He said leaning down to brush a strand of hair off her forehead. "You just rest now." He told her. When the Colonel left the room Sam curled tightly in a ball and sobbed in earnest, grieving for her lost team - her lost friends.

Jack called home and told Lara he would be coming back later that morning. He wanted to give Sam the time and space she needed to rest and grieve - to feel whatever she needed to feel and act however she needed, to express those feelings without having to save face in front of him.

Colonel O'Neill returned to his house for the first time since SG3 was lost and was met at the door by Lara with his daughter in one arm and her travel bag in the other. Garan stood solemnly behind them. "Hi, Lara... Garan. " He called in greeting and then noticed the bag in her hand. "What's going on?" He asked, his brows furrowed - confusion and concern fighting for dominance. "Where are you going?"

"I've forgotten where home is." She told him simply with sorrow. "I want to go home." Putting his hands on Lara's shoulders, Jack turned her around toward the living room.

"Home is that way," he said pointing to the inside of the house.

"No, Jack," she argued, "home is that way." Lara sat down her travel bag and pointed up at the stars, invisible in the late morning sky. "We just don't belong here." She said putting an arm around Garan protectively. "We never will."

With an uncomfortable mix of guilt, regret and sadness, a boiling pot of emotion that made his stomach roil and heart ache, Jack helped his wife, her son and his baby girl to his car and returned to the Cheyenne Mountain complex. He couldn't help thinking had he just worked harder at being a husband he wouldn't be losing the chance to be a father for the second time.

As his family waited outside of the gateroom, Jack sought permission to send them back through the stargate, home. Colonel O'Neill tapped lightly on the door frame of General Hammond's office. "General." He called.

"Come in, Jack." The General said gesturing for the Colonel to sit. "What can I do for you, son?"

"Uhm, sir." Jack hesitated a moment before clearing his throat and saying "Lara has requested permission to return to Edora."

"I see." The General said without expression or judgment while Jack fidgeting nervously in the doorway.

"Yeah, well, uhm, I guess she never quite got the hang of daytime television." Jack lamely joked punctuating the end of the sentence with a shrug. Nervous humor was his weapon against the pain of losing his wife and child. "I know I don't even understand sometimes." He rambled on. "Judge Judy, soaps, info-mercials..."

"Is this a permanent relocation?" The General asked interrupting.

"Yes, sir." Jack replied quietly.

"I'm sorry son."

"Thank you, sir." General Hammond shuffled a few papers. "Well," the General said dismissing the Colonel, "you have my permission to send them through the gate." He said. Jack nodded and left the office to arrange his family's return to their home planet.

Jack walked Lara and the children up the ramp as the wormhole engaged. Garan stepped across its threshold with a silent wave and then Lara turned to face the Colonel. She stood at the gate, with Charlotte cradled in her arms. "I'm sorry this didn't work... WE didn't work out." Jack told her haltingly. There was so much to be said, but the Colonel didn't have a clue what to say or how to say it.

Lara put a finger to his lips to quiet him and told Jack, "You have given me everything I asked of you." She said tilting her head indicating the infant cradled in her arms. "I do not regret our meeting." She told him with conviction.

"Come here." Jack called her softly pulling Lara close to him. He placed a soft kiss on his daughter's forehead and then kissed Lara on the cheek. Jack wrapped his arms around both mother and child before stepping back.

"Fair day and be well, Jack." She said to him.

"Fair day, Lara." He returned softly as she stepped through the gate and disappeared. Jack stood unmoving while the gate disengaged and then walked back down the ramp without raising his eyes from the floor. The General watched from the control room and shook his head sadly as Colonel O'Neill sought the solace of his quarters to get his bearings.

After a long night's rest and reflection, he returned to the infirmary the next morning to check on Sam. He found Dr. Fraiser changing the dressing on the burn on Major Carter's right arm and the bandages across her abdomen from surgery. There were no signs of infection and Sam's blood pressure was back up to normal. Janet checked her lungs for any sign of fluid and was relieved to find the Major's lungs were clear - prolonged bed rest and low resistance put Sam at risk of pneumonia. The cuts across her face and thighs were closing and scabbing. Sam's bruises were fading to yellowish brown patches on her skin and the burn from the staff weapon was healing.

"How is she, doc?" Jack asked as he reached her bedside. Dr. Fraiser smiled encouragingly at him.

"I think she'll be up and keeping you in line again in no time."

"That's what I like to hear." He told her. Jack smiled down at Sam. She returned his smile with a bright look of her own.

Colonel O'Neill left Sam's beside when Daniel arrived that evening to give the two old friends time alone and sought the General's company.

"Is there something I can do for you, Jack?" General Hammond asked as the colonel peeked around the door frame of his office. "`Know any good lawyers who can get me a divorce from an alien woman?" He asked with a small smile playing on his lips. The general snorted with the smallest puff of a laugh.

"Son," he said seriously, "no court in the world has a record of THAT union."

"Ahh." Jack nodded with understanding. "Too much paperwork, huh?" He questioned.

"Something like that." The General responded. They shared a small smile and fell into a comfortable silence as Jack dropped down into a chair with an exasperated sigh. After a few seconds of picking at the upholstery on the arm of the chair Jack turned serious.

"What about my daughter?" he asked the General.

"She'll be listed as a dependant and next of kin in your official military file." The general said. "The one NOBODY sees, of course," he added, "just like Major Carter's father." Jack nodded as he got up to leave.

The General met him at the door and followed him out. "I assume you'll want visitation?" He asked.

"Oh, yeah." O'Neill answered. General Hammond clapped him on the back supportively and headed for the command center.

Jack stood in the empty hallway and wondered what to do next - he didn't want to return to his empty house. He had done that once when the first mission to Abydos was over. He didn't want to do that again. `Deja vu all over again,' his mind supplied. In the end he sought the structure and order of his quarters on base and laid down on the bunk staring at the ceiling.

* * *

The memorial service was held for the four lost members of SG3 and the two fallen marines two days later. Sam was wheeled to the gateroom in a wheel chair with IV's strung from both arms. She did her best to salute her teammates and cried unashamed when the honor guard pressed the tightly folded flag to her chest. Major Carter reached up with her right arm crossing the cast on her left to secure the flag in place over her heart.

Sam was released from the infirmary two weeks later with instructions to rest and take care of herself. She was walking around her neighborhood the following week and running the week after that. Major Carter was cleared to return to active duty five weeks after she was released from the infirmary - more than two months after her team was lost on P2X955. Yet she could remember it as if it happened that very morning. The image of her teammates' torn and lifeless bodies propelled her up the mountainside as she sought the strength and motivation to push herself to get back into shape. Major Carter reported for active duty several weeks in advance of her scheduled return.

In the aftermath of the battle and the loss of SG3, Major Carter was reassigned a position on SG1 and SG5 was given the honor of carrying the designation SG3 forward. Major Ferretti was assigned to lead the new team being assembled to carry the SG5 designation.

SG1 was sent out on its first mission after Sam's recovery to P3Z726 to negotiate a trade agreement. A `milk run' as it were but a welcome one. The team was greeted at the gate by the town elders and escorted to the great hall for a feast in their honor. A roaring fire burned in the atrium of the open building to ward off the chill of a cool night and Jack, Sam, Daniel and Teal'c were shown to ornamental stools of woven tapestry and seated under the stars. The team was served large vessels of fermented drink and boisterous music played behind them while near naked revelers danced around the fire.

"So Colonel," the Major called wrinkling her nose at the pungent wine "I never got the chance to say I'm sorry about Lara." She said seriously, turning to look at Jack. "Daniel told me. You must miss her." Jack just shrugged indifferently.

"I miss my daughter." He admitted quietly. Sam nodded sadly and concentrated on her drink. The Colonel shifted uncomfortably. "But Lara, no. Not really." He admitted more embarrassed than sad. "We simply had nothing in common and this world was as strange and uncomprehensible to her as, well, Daniel is to all sane people." Jack gestured toward the archeologist attempting to carry on a halting conversation with one of the town elders in some form of the native language by gesturing wildly. Jack smiled a bit at that. "Besides, I'm fine. You know what they say - `out with the old, in the nudes,'" He said as he gestured toward a barely clad reveler dancing near the group. Sam looked at the young girl and then glared at the Colonel with an unconvincing frown.

"I believe that's out with the old, in with the NEW, Sir." She corrected.

"Ah." Jack responded leaning back in his chair relaxed with his eyes closed - a big, dumb smile played across his face. Sam grinned into her drink and took a big sip. The Major sighed contentedly and leaned back towards the Colonel so that their shoulders touched ever so slightly. Jack reached out and grasped her hand tentatively and they sat there together under the light of the two gray moons.

The End.