"Seasons 5: Waiting For The Summer" by Carol S Comer

Title: Waiting for the Summer

Author: Carol S. Comer

Status: complete

Category: SJR, angst

Spoilers: 100 Days, Shades of Grey (are you beginning to think these are the only two episodes that I've ever seen?)

Season/Sequel info: 3rd Season during the events of Shades of Grey sequel to "Through the Bitter, Bitter Cold," "The Coming of Spring," "All Things New," and "An Early Summer Storm" in that order.

Rating: PG

Content Warnings: Nuthin' interesting here. One of these days I'll let € '±em have sex again.

Summary: Jack's black ops mission is revealed, but can Sam forgive him so soon after Edora?

Disclaimer: Sing it with me: the characters and situations depicted here are owned by Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. No copyright infringement was intended. Doo dah doo dah. Actually, due to the sheer amount of dialog I've pilfered from the SoG episode (I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry, but it seemed necessary to my story), I should have a proper disclaimer here.

Author's Notes: This is it. No, I'm serious, this time I REALLY mean it. It ends here. No more sequels. No. I said NO. . . Okay one more - but that's it!

WAITING FOR THE SUMMER

It was the Fire Rain all over again. 'Deja vu.' Her mind supplied. Sam hadn't been home since Colonel O'Neill was relieved of duty. Then he left for Edora, never to return again - this time willingly. Major Carter found herself standing in the gateroom in the dark hours before dawn seeking comfort in the last place she had seen him - the last place she would EVER see him. The lights were dimmed during the night and the shadows in the large, empty chamber played like puppets on the walls. Sam could relive every moment of Jack's departure in her mind.

Sam heard a polite cough behind her and turned to find General Hammond standing on the bottom stair as if he had just stepped down from the control room.

"General Hammond, sir." Sam gasped in surprise. "I thought I was alone here." She said. When she looked up and saw the night shift working in the control room as they would every night, Sam realized how lost and disoriented she actually sounded. Of course Sam would NEVER be alone in the gateroom. Someone was always monitoring the Stargate. She looked around trying to get her bearings. Sam would have called it sleep-walking that brought her to the gateroom, had she been sleeping at all. Finally, Sam looked up at the General and shrugged. She had no explanation for how she got there - although they both knew WHY she was.

"Major." Hammond acknowledged kindly. "Shouldn't you be sleeping?" He asked. "You know SG1 ships out for P7B 459 this morning." He gently reminded her.

"Yes sir." She said quietly. "Sorry, sir. I'll try and get some sleep." Sam took one last look around before returning to quarters. The Major was afraid that if she didn't at least pretend to sleep, General Hammond would take her off active duty and without work, Sam knew she'd be going nuts. It'd been three weeks since Colonel O'Neill's retirement and it wasn't getting any easier. His return to Edora was only days old and still a big festering wound for the Major. Sam sighed and curled up on her bunk staring at the gray walls. Four hours till she had the briefing. Four hours until she had something other than the Colonel's absence to occupy her mind.

When the Colonel was on trapped Edora, Sam had something constructive to do - if she just worked harder or longer, Sam could bring him home quicker. Now she wandered the corridors aimlessly - always in a vague state of panic that she should be doing something to bring him home before she remembers that Jack wasn't coming home. All the hard work and long hours she put in at the complex would not bring the Colonel back from Edora this time.

Sam's life was getting increasingly smaller and the time between missions grew increasingly long and lonely for her. Daniel and Teal'c tried to keep her occupied - inviting her to movies and out for a beer, but even they grew weary of her despondency. If it weren't for the missions she'd be a basket case. The longer, more complex and dangerous - the better. What Sam needed was a mission she could lose herself in. Unfortunately this mission was routine. Sam and Daniel collected soil samples to test for naquada. Teal'c and Colonel Makepeace patrolled the perimeter as always. In and out in a matter of hours. Sam needed something to distract her. Now what was she going to do? It would be another long, cold night.

The members of SG1 were still in the gateroom upon their return from P7B 459 when the stargate activated and the Asgard signal was received. Sam watched in curiosity as the gate engaged which turned to gaping surprise as Colonel O'Neill stepped through the gate followed by about a dozen rag-tag individuals dressed in pseudo military garb.

Jack stood with his left arm through the gate holding it open until the last rebel came through. Then he walked down the ramp to where the rogue team members were being handcuffed and slapped a pair of nylon cuffs on Colonel Makepeace.

"What are you doing?" Makepeace demanded.

"That would be my job." Jack responded smugly and joined General Hammond who announced that the rogue team members were under arrest for high crimes against the United States and its allies.

Sam frowned as High Chancellor Travelle entered the gateroom and looked between the Chancellor and the Colonel. All the pieces were falling into place for her, but they were painting an uncomfortable picture. 'It was all fake,' she thought.

"You have no idea how high up this goes." Colonel Makepeace warned. "You've pissed off the wrong people."

"Like the Tollan, Tok'ra, Asgard, Nox... Those folks?" Jack replied smartly.

"They refused to give us the things we need to defend ourselves against the Goa'uld." Sam stood rooted to her spot although a large part of her wanted to run and hide some place quiet to try and make sense of everything that had happened. She watched the exchange between the two colonels like the opponents in a tennis match - back and forth, back and forth. 'Now Makepeace is the bad guy?' She wondered - it was all moving too fast.

"We don't NEED their stuff, Makepeace. We DO need them."

Sam shifted uncomfortably as the rogue team was lead away and Daniel put a voice to the thoughts running through her mind: "So, just to, ah, clarify. This whole past week, beginning with the appeal we made on Tollana - which I did a lot of hard work for, by the way - I take it that was all a scam." Jack just shrugged and gestured to General Hammond who explained that the SGC had been accused of stealing technology by both the Asgard and Tollan. Sam brows furrowed - her mind trying to come to terms with what she was hearing. The Asgard, Tollan and the Nox had threatened to sever diplomatic ties with the SGC, but General Hammond said that he had been able to convince them that the thefts had to be the actions of a rogue group, unconnected to the SGC.

"So, you set that whole thing up on Tollana in the hopes that the mole would think you were one of them and approach you?" Sam asked laying the final piece of the puzzle on the table for everyone to scrutinize.

"And you didn't think you could trust us to help?" Daniel accused.

Jack opened his mouth to defend himself, but the General intervened on his behalf. "We wanted to make sure that your reaction to the Colonel's behavior was as it should be. And the Asgard insisted that Colonel O'Neill be the only one involved."

"They like me." Jack said shrugging. Sam frowned - she was still unbalanced by the sudden 180 degree tilt that the axis of her world had taken.

Jack warily approached his team as General Hammond left with the Tollan representatives. "I'm back." He announced spreading his arms wide in apologetic greeting.

"It's good to have you back, sir." Sam told him, faking a smile and trying to step back into her role as 2IC with as much grace as she could muster. Daniel cast a disbelieving glance at the Major, but Sam knew where she belonged - in the military, in the SGC which meant that now her position was officially subordinate to Colonel O'Neill again.

"Thank you." Jack told her sincerely before he walked off with Daniel to apologize for his behavior at the house.

The debriefing occurred almost immediately. Sam was hoping to have more time to acclimate. She was still reacting almost physically to the shock, but the General's timing conspired to force her to face the Colonel before she felt that she was ready.

The Major was helpful, efficient and understanding during the meeting - the perfect soldier - but she fled the compound as soon as the meeting concluded, avoiding contact as she went. Jack had tried to speak with her several times, but she had successfully ditched him as the debriefing broke up. 'I need more time.' She thought.

Undaunted, the Colonel showed up at her doorstep later that evening. Sam wasn't surprised to see him fidgeting in the hallway when she answered the bell.

"Colonel." She acknowledge, stepping out of the way to permit him to enter.

"I'm sorry, Sam." He told her simply without ceremony. "You know I didn't mean any of the things I said to you before I left for Edora." Sam winced at the mention of Edora, but remained silent in the face of his apology. "I was acting under orders." He said with an apologetic shrug. "I had no choice."

"I know, sir." She said nodding emotionlessly. "You were just doing your job." She felt like a wind-up toy. Pull her string and Sam says all the appropriate things to her superior officer.

"Please." Jack said reaching for her hand. Sam didn't move.

'No,' she thought. 'I'm not ready for this to get personal. Can't we just be the CO and his 2IC for a while?'

"Sam." He said. "This was never about you and me. I still feel... I still want..." Jack stumbled for an apology. "I just want us to be alright." He said humbly. "Are we? Are you still mad? Are you hurt?"

'Not we. Not you and me. Not Sam and Jack - not yet.' Sam cried in her mind as she shut her eyes.

"Sam." He called to her. "Tell me. Just tell me what's going on. Can you forgive me?" Jack begged. Sam could tell it was all he could do not to just shake her for a response. Sam opened her eyes slowly and met his pleading gaze.

"You know I can forgive you," she told him quietly trailing off into silence.

"But you can never forget," Jack finished Sam's sentence for her. His hand dropped to his side in resignation and sighed deeply.

"No." She agreed, sadly shaking her head. "I'll always remember the way I felt when I thought you were leaving for Edora - by choice - and never coming back."

"I'm sorry." He repeated. "I never wanted to hurt you, Sam. You mean the world to me." Jack leaned in to hug her, but she backed away.

"No, Jack," The Colonel's head snapped up when she called him by first name. "Not this time. You can't just hold me and think that everything's alright again." Sam told him raising her hands cautioning him not to come any closer. "I'm not ready to let this go yet. The wound is too deep and too fresh to just put a band-aid on it and go on. I need some time." She said. "I need some space. Maybe you should just leave." Sam walked over to the door and reached for the handle. "We can talk about this later."

Jack turned to follow her and then stopped. "No." He told her halting abruptly. "I'm not leaving." He said. "I lost Sara this way because I just gave up. I will NOT lose you."

Sam sighed tiredly but she did not repeat her request that Jack leave. "Look," she said. "I'm not angry. I'm not hurt anymore. I understand what happened and why you did what you did, but I need time to warm up." Sam told him sadly. "You did what you had to do." He nodded in agreement. "Then let me do what I have to do." Sam said as she opened the door for him to leave. "I'm just so cold inside right now." Jack frowned but nodded agreement that he would go, but only with the understanding that it wasn't over yet. "Just very, very cold. " She said. Jack stepped into the hall but then stopped, and turned and planted a soft kiss on her forehead.

"Then I'll be waiting for the summer to come." He said as he left.

The End.