"Inane Sam And Jack Conversations" by Doc Kate

TITLE: Inane Sam and Jack Conversations

AUTHOR: Doc. Kate and her lovely assistant, Farmer Blogs, her, um, 11 year old brother.

STATUS: Finished

CATAGORY: Humor, S/J (Well, it has to be, as their the only two people in it...)

SPOILERS: N/A

SEASON/SEQUEL: N/A

RATING: PG

CONTENT WARNINGS: N/A... other than violence towards a hapless Nintendo

SUMMARY: Just some inane Sam and Jack conversations...

ARCHIVE: Heliopolis, Sam and Jack (Not that I'd think they'd want it...)

DISCLAMER: I don't own 'em, wish I did. (Doo da, doo da.) I'm not getting any money for this. (Oh, ah doo da day.)

AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is what happens when you mull over the international politics of sandwiches...

***

"Carter..."

"Yes sir?"

"What is that?"

"Cheese, sir."

"I know that... what I meant was, why is it orange?"

"Because it's Leicester cheese, sir... from Leicester."

"Oh. And what are you putting with it?"

"English ham."

"Why English? Why not, Virginian?"

"Because A) Mixing nationalities in a sandwich is politically incorrect and B) English ham is better."

"Oh."

"You did ask, sir."

***

"Carter..."

"Yes, sir?"

"Whatcha doing?"

"Sewing, sir."

"Come again?"

"Sewing... a method of binding two bits of material together... you know, with needle and thread..."

"I know what sewing is, Carter. What I meant was... I didn't think that... you and sewing... I mean..."

"You mean that I don't come across as the sewing type, sir? I happen to enjoy sewing, it's very calming."

"Oh. What are you sewing?"

"It's a headscarf for Cassie. Like it?"

"Ah, sure, Carter. It's... nice."

"What, what's wrong with it?"

"Well, I'm not sure that Camouflage green will go with Cassie's wardrobe... doesn't she wear mainly blue and pink?"

"Camouflage green goes with everything, sir."

"Oh."

***

"Carter..."

"Oh what do you want now, sir?"

"Oh... nothing."

"No... what do you want, Jack?"

"It's just that.... the Nintendo's broken and..."

"You're bored."

"Ah, yeah."

"I was wondering why you kept asking me all these inane questions. Do you want me to fix it?"

"Fix what?"

"The Nintendo."

"Oh... yeah... if you could... I'll just go get it."

***

"Colonel... you didn't happen to, I don't know, bash, the Nintendo, did you?"

"Ah..."

"Jack...?"

"Well, ok... maybe I did hit it, just a little."

"Did you lose Pokemon again?"

"No! Not really..."

"Jack..."

"Ok, I lost to a level five Caterpie. Can you just fix the damned thing so I can beat Daniel's ass?"

"You LOST to DANIEL?!?!"

***

The End.

Heheh...