"Symbiosis" by Ruth M King

TITLE: Symbiosis

AUTHOR: Ruth M. King ruth@snowqueen.demon.co.uk

RATING: PG

ARCHIVE: Sam and Jack and Heliopolis. Anyone else please ask :)

SPOILERS: None

DISCLAIMERS: Stargate SG1 is the property of MGM, Showtime, Double Secret and Gekko etc. I'm just playing for a while !

***

"Kiss me," Martouf whispered.

Sam bent towards him, her lips parting in anticipation. She knew what this would feel like. His touch was alive in her memory....the way his mouth would gently caress hers, his tongue probing her depths. She could taste him, feel him. The memory was the clearest she had ever experienced. Her whole world was Martouf and the way he made her feel. A moan escaped her lips and the vision intensified. He was holding her, touching her, making love to her. Sam threw her head back, overcome at the mere memory. The fact that it had been Jolinar and not herself didn't matter anymore. A hundred years of loving flooding into her mind as his lips made contact.

"Sam!"

It was a voice she recognised, but he was far away, too far away to stop what was happening. Sam relaxed in Martouf's embrace, knowing that the moment would be over far too soon. She tasted blood in her mouth.

"Sam? Can you hear me?"

Martouf's hands slipped from her back. There were tears coursing down Sam's face as she let him go. She wiped the blood from her lips. The red liquid stained the back of her hand.

"My God, what happened? Sam, are you OK?"

That voice again. Strange arms held her. This embrace seemed cold, but she couldn't move away. Her system was still in shock and the grief was almost overwhelming. She knew that she should love this man, but that part of her had been banished to a dim, dark corner of her mind. Sam tried to stand, but found that she couldn't. What was happening to her? There was pain. It shouldn't have been like this.

"It's OK, Sam. We'll get you out of here," the voice reassured her.

She dimly felt herself being lifted into his arms. Her first impulse was to fight against him, not wanting to leave Martouf. In her weakened state her struggles had little effect. Eventually she had to give up and let him carry her back to the 'Gate. He set her down for a few seconds, waiting for others to dial them back home. He noticed the blood on her hand, and frowned to himself, obviously wondering where she had been injured. Sam felt herself squirm as his hands ran over her body. Why was he doing this? Why was he touching her? The probing fingers became gentle as he touched her face, but Sam couldn't lean into her lover's caress. It was all too strange, to alien. She remembered the whispered words of love, but she couldn't tell who had spoken them.

Sam found herself trying to get away from him, scrambling backwards down the steps, away from the 'Gate. He looked more than a little confused, scared almost. His mouth formed her name, but she could no longer hear his words. The world seemed to be disintegrating, as she retreated within her own mind. Except it wasn't hers anymore. Sam Carter retreated further, overwhelmed by the power of this new entity. A hundred years of experience flashed through her mind. Where there had once been a single set of memories, there was now so much more...... Carter, Jolinar, Lantesh.....Sam suddenly found herself bending over, trying to resist the urge to throw up, black out......or both. This had been a mistake, she realised.....a really terrible mistake.

At the edge of her perception she could see him coming towards her again. He wasn't going to let her go easily...but he had to. Couldn't he understand.....he had to. She couldn't love him, not anymore. The gate wooshed and he held out his hand, waiting to take her home.... Sam knew that she had to go through the gate, that she couldn't stay here. That was the only reason she took his hand and let him help her.

"She's hurt," Colonel O'Neill shouted the second they reached the other side.

Sam felt herself slide to the floor, her hand still caught in his. She saw the Colonel at the bottom of the ramp, speaking to General Hammond.

"I'm OK," she tried to protest.

Was she injured? She had been. The part of her that was Sam Carter remembered that much. There were others around her now, but she could still feel the hand that held hers. He shouldn't be doing that, it was....? What? She tore her hand away from his. Her knees buckled, but he caught her before she fell. He carried her to the infirmary.

***************************************************************************

When he got home she was in the bedroom, packing her bags.

"Sam, what are you doing?" he demanded.

"Moving out," she replied, refusing to look at him.

He took her arm, but she immediately shrugged away from him.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because I have to."

Sam wouldn't say anything else. It was obvious that he was revolted by what she had become. She'd seen it in his eyes, the moment Janet had told him what she had found. He had actually backed away from her. For that reason alone she couldn't stay with him. But there was something else.....a factor she hadn't considered when she had agreed to take Lantesh. The symbioant and the host loved as one, and Lantesh didn't love him....which meant that Sam couldn't either.

She shouldered her bad and started to leave, but he caught her hand and pulled her close.

"Sam, please don't go. We can work this out. I'm sorry if I reacted badly, but you have to understand......"

Without conscious thought, Lantesh took over, speaking to the man for the first time,

"Leave her alone. She does not want to be with you."

"I'd like to hear that from Sam......if you don't mind!" he snapped back.

"Samantha and I are now one. She wants what I do."

"I don't believe that."

"Leave me alone!"

Sam was back. She tore her hand from his and ran from the room. If she had expected him to follow, she was disappointed. He just stood there and watched her go. Part of him knew that he had lost someone else that he loved to the Goa'uld. The front door slammed. She was gone. He couldn't help feeling that this was what Martouf/Lantesh had wanted all along....Sam......beautiful, intelligent, compassionate....and the perfect host.

The night was dark, cold, like the fingers of fear that infested her mind. Ignoring her car, she walked away from the place that had become her home. It hurt. That much was enough to worry her. Jolinar hadn't caused her pain, not like this. Maybe it was just the fact that she was leaving him....After everything that he had been through he deserved better than this. And he deserved better than a woman who was now unable to love him.

<You never did,> Lantesh whispered in her mind.

<I know,> Sam replied, <It just seemed....right at the time.>

<Yes, and he understood.>

She cast one look back as she walked away. No one followed. Again his actions spoke louder than his words. If he had truly loved her, he would have come after her.....wouldn't he? Despite the being that lived within, she had never felt so alone. Lantesh tried to reassure her, but Sam deliberately blocked his words. She didn't want comfort....she didn't know what she wanted, not anymore.

***************************************************************************

"You OK, Sam?"

His voice gentle and it was meant to be soothing, but the words did nothing to ease the pain that had taken up residence in her head. Sam waved him away, signalling that she was as well as could be expected....but Jack O'Neill wasn't going to just 'go away', not when one of his team was obviously in trouble. Sam definitely didn't look so hot. Her smile was dull, lifeless and her eyes had lost their spark. He was worried about her..... had been ever since she had blended with Lantesh.

"Maybe we should rest a little?" he suggested.

"No. We need to get back to the gate," she told him.

"Sam...."

Any protest was cut short as Sam's eyes glowed. At that point Jack knew better than to continue the argument. He didn't like dealing with Lantesh. There was something very creepy about that particular Tok'ra speaking through Sam's mouth. At the very least, it was going to a hell of alot of getting used to. If only she didn't seem so unhappy....but given the circumstances, that was probably understandable. Sam stumbled again and Jack instinctively put out his hand to help her. This wasn't right. It was as if the symbioant was sucking the life out of her and all he could do was stand by and watch.

"Take it easy," he whispered. "OK, kids lets hold up for a moment.....and that's an order, Major."

She glared at him, but Jack ignored her. He made a great show of sitting down and taking a drink from his canteen. After a few seconds Sam joined him. Daniel sat across from them. He didn't like getting too close to Sam, not anymore and it was no secret as to the reasons why. Jack had spent long hours trying to heal the rift that had formed between them, for the sake of the team, if nothing else.

Sam rested her head against a tree, wishing that the pounding in her head would stop. She'd had this headache for three days now and it was getting worse every minute. It was driving her nuts. Nothing seemed to help. Unseen by the rest of the team, she slipped herself another couple of pain killers. They wouldn't work for long, but she just might make it back to Earth. Maybe then Janet could prescribe something stronger.

"You want some water with those?" O'Neill asked.

The smile she gave him was tinged with guilt, but she accepted the offer He was only trying to help and it was easier to let him than to fight about it. The water trickled down her throat, bringing a small measure of relief.

<Samantha?> Lantesh spoke to her.

<What is it?> she snapped.

<No, it isn't. I'm just tired.>

The argument was cut short as she heard movement in the trees. The man sitting beside her tensed, reaching for his gun.

"Let's go," Jack ordered.

He helped Sam to her feet and they started to run. By the time they reached the gate he was practically carrying her.

"Daniel, dial us outta here. Teal'c cover us."

The Jaffa moved without argument. He knew that O'Neill would want to protect Major Carter. At the edge of his awareness he saw the man bend over the exhausted woman and his sharp ears caught the gentle words of comfort.

"We'll get you home, Sam," Jack whispered. "You're going to be all right."

"What's wrong with me?"

"Janet'll find out, don't worry."

"This shouldn't be happening."

Jack ducked his head as the 'gate whooshed into life. Sam's hand tightened over his. Whatever was wrong, her condition was deteriorating very rapidly and Lantesh didn't seem to be able to cure the problem. Unless it was the symbioant that was sick and he was taking Sam down with him. She was obviously in alot of pain, but that was as far as his diagnosis went.

The event horizon stabilised and O'Neill helped Sam to her feet, sliding his arm around her.

"Not much further now," he reassured her.

Sam felt him gently rubbing her back as they stepped up to the gate. His fingers left a trail of fire on her skin. Even the soft touch was hurting. She started vomiting the second they reached Earth.

***************************************************************************

"Near as I can tell her body is rejecting the symbioant," Janet explained.

"Can you do anything?" Major Hammond asked.

"Get rid of Lantesh. He's killing her!" Daniel broke in.

"Dr. Jackson, you know as well as I do, that is easier said than done."

"I don't care."

"Let me talk to Lantesh," O'Neill said.

"Why?"

"Because Jolinar once told me that she could leave a host without killing them. Lantesh may be willing to try the same thing."

"We'll need to find a new host," Janet reminded him.

"That won't be a problem."

"Care to explain that, colonel?"

"Not yet. Give me thirty minutes."

Jack pushed back his chair and left the briefing room.

Sam was lying in one of the infirmary beds. She was awake, but her blue eyes wide with pain. Aware that any touch hurt her he settled for crouching beside the bed and leaning his elbows on the mattress.

"Sam....can you hear me?" he asked.

She blinked in reply. It was the only movement that didn't cause her discomfort. Jack nodded, understanding that she had heard him.

"I need to speak to Lantesh. Is he in there?" he continued.

Her eyes glowed, the voice that spoke to him was pained. Lantesh knew what was happening to his host and the reasons why.

"I am here.....Colonel O'Neill," Lantesh replied. "What do you wish to say?"

"Can you leave Sam without killing her?"

"Why would I do this? I still may be able to heal Samantha."

"Because you love her. Martouf did so you do too, right? It wasn't just because of Jolinar."

"It would be difficult..."

"Cut to the chase Lantesh, can you do it?"

"We both may die."

"I know, but Sam's almost there anyway. It's the only way we can save her."

"We?"

"Yes. Is that acceptable?"

<Don't let him do it.>

"What's happening?" Jack demanded.

"Samantha is protesting."

"Ignore her. I'm her commanding officer, I'll make it an order if I have to. Now what do I have to do?"

"Come closer."

Jack shifted his position, bending his head close to hers. She tilted her head slightly.

"Will it hurt?" he heard himself ask.

"A little," Sam's mouth smiled at him.

Her hands reached behind his head, drawing him even closer. For a second, Jack wanted to pull back, but it was too late. He felt a second of intense pain before blacking out.

They found him fifteen minutes later slumped on the floor next to Sam's bed. There was no doubt as to what had happened. As his eyes opened they all saw the glow fade.

"Sir?" Janet questioned.

Jack waved her away, choosing instead to slump into the nearest chair. His mind was still trying to assimilate the information that was being poured into it. He'd had no idea, none whatsoever. Nothing could have prepared him for this experience.

"Sam?" he managed to ask.

"I think she's going to be OK." Janet replied, "How about you?"

"Don't know."

Just saying Sam's name had brought forth a flood of emotions. He screwed his eyes shut, trying to ride out the feelings.

*****************

Sam was laughing. Jack sat and watched her, enamoured by the sight. He took a pull at his beer. Though why he was drinking he wasn't sure. Alcohol didn't have any effect on him anymore. That was one of the downsides of the strange situation he now found himself in. And he was certain that he had never had quite this many inappropriate thoughts about Sam before Lantesh had taken up residence.

<That wasn't me,> Lantesh told him.

He shook his head, trying to ignore the voice.

<How?> he couldn't stop himself asking.

< Just blame me for any aberrant behaviour.>

<You'd be surprised.>

<I'm your symbioant, it's my job.>

That made Jack laugh out load. The rest of the gathering looked at him in surprise. Jack tapped a finger against his head, indicating that it was Lantesh who had said something amusing. His friends were slowly getting used to the fact that his attention was sometimes diverted by a voice they couldn't hear. Sam smiled at him. Beneath the table he felt her hand rest briefly on his, squeezing it gently to give him reassurance. She was probably the only person who could come close to understanding what was going on in his head.

<She loves you,> Lantesh said.

<No, she doesn't.>

Lantesh was starting to get annoying and Jack decided that it was time to leave. He pushed his chair back and stood.

"Going, sir?" Sam asked, a little surprised.

"I'm getting old, Carter. I can't party with you kids all night. See ya Monday."

Sam frowned as she watched him leave the bar. He didn't hang out with them so much any more, in fact he almost seemed uncomfortable. It had been several months since he had accepted Lantesh, she would have thought that he would have come to terms with the change by now. Then again, O'Neill wasn't the ideal candidate for a host. Part of him was probably still fighting. She was still surprised that he'd done it. There had been a time when nothing would have persuaded him to become a host and Sam had spent some time wondering exactly what had changed his mind. If one of his team members hadn't been in danger......

He had changed a little. Not much. Just subtle things that most people probably wouldn't have noticed. She'd tried to talk to him about it, but he had refused. He was gentler somehow. His smile was a little more frequent and there was less pain in his eyes. It was almost as if he was finding himself easier to live with. Yet his sense of humour was unchanged......he was still a smartass.

"Sam, can I get you another?" Daniel asked, interrupting her train of thought

"Thanks, but I'm going to call it a night too," she replied.

"Oh, I was thinking....."

"No, Daniel."

"Right."

"He won't grow old, you know that, don't you?" Daniel reminded her.

"Goodnight."

Sam picked up her coat and walked out. She stood outside the bar, vainly searching for a taxi. It must have been later than she thought because there was a distinct lack of anything that remotely resembled a cab.

"Walk you home, ma'am?"

His voice made her jump.

"Sir, I thought you'd gone," she exclaimed.

"Lantesh told me to hang around. Seems he knows you better than I thought, Major. C'mon."

He took her hand and they started to walk.

***************************************************************************

The End.