"Feminine Instinct" by Amelie Allard

Title: Feminine Instinct

Author: Amélie Allard

Status: Complete

Category: S/J friendship/romance/UST as well as Adventure (at least I tried to...)

Rating: PG-13

Season/Sequel Info: whenever you want...But it has to be after season 3 :) Oh and this was written before I saw any of the season 4 eps, so I guess it’s prior to D&C

Spoilers: Tiny ones for CotG, Brief Candle and 100 Days

Warnings: maybe some language but nothing bad.

Archive: SJA and Heliopolis

Summary: SG-1 find a planet where alchemists rule...Don’t worry, that’s the non-s/j plot :) (From Jack’s point of view)

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

Author’s notes: Ok…I went to France a couple of months ago (wave to Audrey!) and it kinda inspired me…well, not as much as the death threats I would have got if I didn’t bring back fic. J Anyway, so this is what I came up with! I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Dedication: I have a few HUGE thanks to give: Dustdevil for betareading this for me! You’re great! And I have to tell you folks that it’s my fault that she didn’t post any fics lately… ;) Flo for the American point of view as well as great ideas! Ravital for supporting me and all the ego boosts J Thanks guys! You were great help!

Feedback: YES! please! I’m begging!

***** ~~Feminine Instinct~~ I - The Reconnaissance... *****

I don’t even remember how we got into this mess. When I think about it, I realize it began just like every other mission through the ‘gate. We stepped through and we watched, and observed, and we waited for an alien attack, an ambush, a welcome, something…anything. But nothing came. So we continued on our way through the plains and valleys until we found a village.

*****

We’re all taking position behind the bushes, Carter beside me and Teal’c and Daniel a little further to our right, behind another bush. This is the best observation spot we could find to examine the village without being seen, but I don’t feel it to be very effective. I get the binoculars out of my jacket pocket and take a look. The village looks small but peaceful. Made me first think of Edora but I didn’t mention it to anyone, they would have made a face at me. Even if, frankly, I don’t know why. I mean it’s not like it was my fault. Anyway, the village looks kinda medieval though, as far as my knowledge of history goes. The houses are built with yellow stones and the roofs are made of tiles.

"What do you think?" Daniel asks as he observes the village from his side.

"I don’t see anyone near by. They’re probably working in the fields or something" I suggest, remembering how on Edora everybody worked in the fields to get subsistence.

"Or not" Carter says and she lifts her chin towards the village.

She’s right. It’s like the entire village is coming back from the same place. All at once. There is about a hundred people there.

"Perhaps they were part of a religious ceremony" states Teal’c with his usual calm.

"There’s only one way to find out."

I get up and make my way onto the muddy streets.

*****

They seem to be peasants. They don’t say anything as we enter their village and make our way through the scattered crowd. They watch us walk, most of them with a threatening expression. I see a woman with bags in one hand and the other on the head of her kid, who’s completely into her skirt. I try a smile but he pushes further behind her. I can’t say I don’t understand his feeling. They don’t make any move towards us, only watch us invade their privacy. I glance at Daniel and he begins his introduction speech, the usual speech.

"Hi! I’m Daniel Jackson, this is Sam Carter, Jack O’Neill and Teal’c", he says as he indicates us with his finger. "We’re peaceful travelers from a planet called Earth, we came from the Stargate."

This got a lot of whispering from the crowd.

A man about fifty years old steps forward. He’s tall, about Teal’c’s size and he wears a light beige shirt with brown pants. Not forgetting the very cool straw hat he wears on his head. I *have* to get one of those.

"Qu’est-ce que vous voulez?"

Daniel frowns. I didn’t understand a word the man said, but judging by the tone it wasn’t welcoming.

"It’s French." Daniel says, still frowning.

"French?" Great! Just what we needed. "Well tell him we come in peace!" I tell him, exasperated.

"I can’t."

"What do you mean ‘I can’t’?"

"I don’t speak French."

"You speak 23 languages and you don’t speak French??"

Carter steps forward.

"I do."

Our heads all turn to look at her.

"You speak French?" I ask in disbelief.

"Yes." She says as she takes off her cap and ruffles her hair. "It’s been a while but I think I can manage a basic conversation."

I wave my arm inviting her to talk to the man who hasn’t moved an inch.

"Alright" she says to herself. "You can do this...."

Then she speaks louder and all eyes are on her.

"Mmm....Nous...venons...en paix." She finally says as she lifts her hand to show they’re empty.

The crowd whispers again.

"Alors soyez les bienvenus." The man says.

Carter turns to me with a broad smile: "he welcomes us."

We follow the man into his house and he makes us sit in the rustic chairs around the table. I take a look at the windows and I see that the whole town has stuck its nose onto the glass. This must be new to them. Travelers coming here.

"I do not believe this planet was visited by the Goa’uld O’Neill. The villagers would not have welcomed us as easily."

"Teal’c’s right." Daniel adds. "If the Goa’ulds had been here, the people would be terrorized."

The man puts a bowl on the center of the table and inside there’s bread. He invites us to eat by a gesture of his hand, Carter takes a slice and smells it. Scientists.

"Carter?"

"Yes sir?"

"What are you doing?"

"He said we should eat. Maybe we should. For diplomacy’s sake."

"Ok, let me put it to you another way. We’re strangers, we have powerful weapons and if they know about the Goa’ulds then they recognized Teal’c. I don’t know about you but if I were them I wouldn’t want us around for lunch.

"You think they wanna poison us?" Daniel asks, half-incredulous half scared.

"I’m just saying..." Yeah...what I’m *not* saying is that I wouldn’t want any of us eating some sort of wedding cake or something...Once is enough.

Carter puts the bread back into the bowl with a sigh - she was probably hungry - and the man looks what? Worried? Insulted? Panicked? His eyes are wide open and so is his mouth. Carter gets his expression and talks to him, which seems to relax him a bit. At least his mouth is closed now. And then he smiles. I wonder what she told him.

*****

The meeting with the man was so boring I practically fell asleep on my chair before Carter threw me out of the house. She was - and still is - the only one to understand what the hell this man is saying and therefore she’s the only one to be interested in that meeting. So right now Daniel, Teal’c and I are sitting outside the house, on the grass and the passing people glare at us as if we were aliens. Well...we are, from their points of view. We still hear Carter and the man - I still don’t know his name - talking inside. And sometimes some laughing. Ya gotta wonder what’s going on in there. Just as I’m about to get up and see, the door opens and Carter gets out of the house and comes to sit just beside me.

When she turns to look at me, her eyes twinkle and she has this huge smile crossing her face. Ok, that’s exactly the expression she wears when she’s found the solution to a problem she’d been working on.

"What?" I finally ask her.

"What they have on this planet is amazing sir!"

There we go. Now she won’t stop...

"What’s that?"

She sits more in front of me and straightens her back, just like she does when she’s preparing herself to explain me something.

"Apparently, there are alchemists on this planet."

"Alchemists?" I ask.

Daniel steps in. "Yes, alchemists are people who try to transform metals into gold."

"But the interesting thing is, according to this man, they have succeeded here."

"And you bought into this?" It’s more of a statement than a question, but I’m surprised by my usually little skeptical scientist here.

"He says that many years ago, a young man, an apprentice alchemist, found the elixir that would change the metal into gold, and ever since, the alchemy is what makes the wealth of the king and his lords."

"There is a king here?" Daniel asks.

"Yes. This is a real monarchy Daniel. If you understood what the man said, you would be jumping up and down right now. This society is amazing, really."

"Really..." I reply sarcastically as I get up. "Carter, all I can say is you’re spending too much time with Daniel."

She just smiles as she looks at me, blocking the sun from her eyes with her hand.

"So I take it you wanna stay here and take a look at that magic potion right?" I ask but already knowing the answer.

Her smile gets even brighter and the twinkle in her eyes shines as much as the sun in her hair.

"Ok..." I say as I nod. "Teal’c, you’re with me, we’re gonna send a message to Hammond saying we’re gonna stay here longer than first expected. Carter, you try and learn where we could find the stuff. Daniel...try to learn French."

And I’m off to the ‘gate with Teal’c on my heels.

*****

To say that Hammond was surprised by Sam’s excitement over something new would be lying. I think he even anticipated it. He listened to everything I said very patiently but I think he knew already. It’s not like this kind of thing doesn’t happen regularly. With Carter and Daniel in my team, I’ve come to be used to that. And so has Hammond.

Anyway, finally back to the village, I see that Carter and Daniel have followed my orders, seated on the ground, with villagers around and in front of them, some of them talking. Carter would laugh and then speak to Daniel and he would smile too.

When I approach a little bit more, I realize they aren’t *really* following my orders. I can’t quite understand what Carter is saying, but according to Daniel’s "don’t forget when we done that...", I can assume that she is telling these people some of our missions.

I sneak up on her and she is so into her story that she jumps when I talk.

"What did I miss?"

"Sir!" she says as she gets up. "What did the general say?"

"He gave the ok to stay as long as we need."

"That’s great!" she says and she relaxes a little, her shoulders losing their military tension. "This place sounds amazing."

"What about you Daniel? Learned to speak French yet?"

He gives the ‘it’s not funny’ look. What? Isn’t he supposed to be a linguistic genius? Ok, maybe 45 minutes is not long enough to learn a language, even for a genius.

"So what have you found out?" I ask Carter.

"Well, of course, the villagers here don’t know the formula for the elixir." She explains.

"If they did they wouldn’t be working here."

"Right." She agrees. I love being right...

"So..."

"So we have to...."

She’s cut off by the noise of horses entering the village. A lot of them. We all turn to look at the newcomers. To our amazement, the entire village kneels and bows heads. We do the same, wouldn’t want to offend anyone now would we?

One of the newcomers is a man, looking in his early 40s on a big white horse, with rich and bright clothes, and beside him, on a huge black horse, there’s a girl about 17 years old, also very wealthy dressed. She wears her loose dark hair at about waist-length, and I must say she’s very good looking. She rides sidesaddle and I have to admit it seems to work on her. Even at her young age, there is something about her presence that tells everything about her. She’s important, that’s easy to tell. And all the others are, as far as I can tell, their escort. Carter brings her head closer to mine, and, still looking at the newcomers from under her fringe, she whispers to my ear.

"The lord of this land".

I nod almost imperceptibly, but she throws me a quick look and I understand it’s neither the time nor the place to crack a sarcastic comment.

The man on the horse begins to speak and I see Carter frown, and from the corner of my eye I see the girl on the horse watching the crowd as if searching for someone. And then every head turns our way. Nice and effective grapevine we’ve got here... The lord, still on his horse, crosses the place, almost running over some of the people, to stop just in front of us. He speaks and Carter gestures me and the others to get up, without looking up. I hate these things. He speaks again but this time it’s the villager who offered us bread who answers. I hate being useless like this. At least if I understood some of the words they said, besides ‘yes’ and ‘no’...but no. I have to relate on Carter - once again - and let her be the ambassador on this one.

The lord gets down from his horse and hands his reigns to one of his escort man. He stands right in front of us and observes us for what seems like an eternity. The man sure is powerful. The kind of man you’d never want to offend in any way, an observer, an analyst, who knows what he does and knows that he does it well. He speaks again, this time quieter and I guess he’s talking to us. I look at Carter and she already answered him, she’s nodding. Then she glances at me from the corner of her eye, teeth clenched.

He talks again, and this time she shakes her head no, then speaks some more. The man nods warily and walks around a bit, always keeping eye contact with at least one of us, as if deciding what he should do with us. Well, I’ve got your answer chico, you let us stay and be friends or you let us go! But he finally stops pacing and nods slowly and then surprisingly enough he laughs.

He just laughs and comes and pats Carter on the back, inviting us to follow him.

*****

"Carter! What the hell is going on?" I say as we make our way towards the escort.

"I don’t know sir!" She answers truthfully. "He just asked me the standard questions, where we come from, if we come in peace, and all that. Then he just laughed and invited us to follow him."

"What do you say Daniel?"

"I say we do as he asks". He answers, and I don’t even know why I asked him in the first place. I knew what his answer would be, why did I even bother?

"The thing is, sir," Carter begins, whispering, "he’s a lord, therefore he probably knows the formula for the elixir. Or at least someone in his proximity does."

"Why?" I’m not sure I understand where this is going.

"Because if he didn’t than he wouldn’t be lord."

"Sam has a point." Daniel adds.

"Yeah, ok. We play along."

"Now we just have to wait for them to find us horses and we’re off with them" she adds.

We stop walking when we’re just beside the horses. I spot the rich girl right beside the now mounted lord and she’s watching me. The same observant and piercing look as the lord. Then it hits me. The similarity of their royal postures, the same green eyes and the same dark hair and dark complexion. The same cold beauty. She’s his daughter, there’s no doubt about that. And she’s still observing me, which makes me kind of uncomfortable. I hold her stare, but there’s no chance in hell that she’s gonna lower her eyes first. I sense it. So I do it and invent some stupidity to say to Carter, to which she smiles.

The same stubbornness...

I’m interrupted out of my reverie when the girl speaks to one of the men of her escort and he gets down and heads my way. Man I gotta get out of here. I go hide behind Daniel who’s still trying to learn French. Poor him. But the messenger comes beside Carter - he probably knows she’s the only one who understands French.

Oh man. He’s talking about me. That much is obvious, he gestures in my way, and Carter looks at me with a frown on her face, which can not be a good sign. Then she comes my way, the man on her heels. Hey you! Don’t look at her that way!

"Sir, apparently Dame Karrigan here wants you as a companion for the ride." She says and I can swear she’s uncomfortable. You’re not alone, Carter...not alone.

"Why?"

She translates to the man, and turns to me again.

"Because she wants it. Sir, with respect, there’s no point in arguing with her. From what I understand she’s spoiled to death and everybody does whatever she wants."

"Don’t you think it’s about time we change that?"

"No sir."

I try a look at Daniel and Teal’c but they both shake their heads no. Ok, I’m beaten.

"Alright. Tell him I’ll go. But just tell me one thing. What’s the point if I don’t understand a word she says?"

She coughs slightly.

"She assigned me to be your interpreter."

"Oh."

"Yeah..."

"Ok then. Let’s do it." I say. But what I *don’t* say is that I’m glad not to be alone with that girl. There’s something about her...something I can’t put my finger on. I never thought I’d see the day I’m afraid of a 17 years old girl - which I’m *not*.

We silently follow our leader to where our horses are now all ready to go and we mount.

"Are you sure you don’t need me to ride with you Carter? I wouldn’t want you to fall" I can’t help the flirting...what the hell am I doing?

"You think I’m going to fall?" she asks in disbelief, her eyebrows up and her eyes incredulous.

I just shrug, a smug grin on my face.

"I dare you to race against me Colonel."

This time it’s me who looks at her incredulously.

"What right now?"

She shrugs.

"Maybe not right now," she looks around at the lord and his daughter, "we’re kind of in the middle of something...but when we’re back home, I challenge you! You wouldn’t stand a chance." She says, trying to hide her smile.

"We’ll see about that."

She squeezes her horse and, with a kissing sound from her mouth, he starts trotting and then galloping. I just look at her, already at the lady’s side.

"You wouldn’t stand a chance" Daniel tells me as he passes by me. And then Teal’c.

Yeah, you’re probably right Daniel...you *are* right. But not about the race... I squeeze my horse forward and after a short gallop, I’m right beside Carter and the lady. I wish she would stop looking at me that way.

*****

The girl, who goes by the charming name of Dame Karrigan, didn’t say a damn word the whole ride. She was riding her giant black horse, chin up, looking straight ahead. So Carter and I decided to start a conversation. But I could tell Karrigan didn’t like it much. Especially not understanding us. She frowned at the beginning and then I could tell she was looking for a way to stop me from talking to another woman than herself. Yeah, well, sorry missy, but I’ll talk to anyone I want to. And right now Carter is good company, and you’re not.

"So, you care telling me how you learned to speak French?" I ask Carter. It’s been bugging me for a while now.

She shrugs and moves a bit on her saddle.

"I just do!"

I give her that look that says ‘don’t take me for dumber than I already am’ and it works. Her voice is one of someone who doesn’t wanna share but does it anyway.

"My mother taught me. She was a teacher. A French teacher, among other things,"

I nod her to go on.

"And she taught both me and Mark, when we were kids."

"Now tell me how come Daniel *doesn’t* speak French."

She laughs. And I notice Karrigan to wince.

"I must admit that’s weird" Carter whispers so that Daniel wouldn’t hear. "He knows every single dead language but not French. We have to ask him sir."

"Yeah...he’s really trying to understand though, and I’m sure he will at the end of this little trip."

She smiles.

"Probably."

*****

We sit on the sumptuous chairs around the table and smile around a bit falsely. After all we don’t know what they want from us. Even though *we* do know what we want from them.

"I think she likes you. Sir."

"Who?"

"Her." She lifts her chin in the direction she wants me to look at.

I glance in the indicated direction and in the corner of the room there’s Karrigan. Silent and serious, just as I’ve always seen her so far. I look at Carter incredulously although I know she’s probably right.

"What? Her??"

"Mm-mm" She mumbles while putting some grains into her mouth. "She keeps looking at you and she blushes every time."

"Yeah... but I could be her father for God’s sake!"

"Tell this to her sir" she says nonchalantly.

I look back at the girl and I catch her staring at me. *Really* staring, but when she notices me looking at her, this time her head turns another way. Where’s the stubbornness? The superiority?

"Feminine instinct?" I ask Carter, still eating her grains, or whatever that is, but she just shrugs.

"No I...I just noticed. Daniel noticed too. He said she’s probably been taught that she has to marry a man when she’s that age, a man much older than she is. Just like in the Middle ages."

"Oh."

"And we practically *are* in the Middle Ages."

"Right."

We’re cut off by the arrival of the first parts of the feast on the table. Apparently in our honor. Yeah, right! I don’t know why but I don’t buy it. Maybe they just wanna feed us so that we taste better when they eat us...Ok, very unlikely, but you never know...

Apparently, the lord wants to talk to us in private after the feast and I must admit we don’t have much choice but to oblige to his request, but I’d rather say ‘order’. It’s our only way to learn what the heck this alchemy is all about.

Karrigan comes to the table and sits beside me, on my left, and Carter is on my right with Daniel and Teal’c beside her. The lord stands up and invites us to eat, with a toast directed at us. Everybody cheers and drinks except us. I’m glad to see my teammates still remember my earlier advice.

When we first arrived in the little castle, or manor, whatever you wanna call it, I was surprised to see it was so small. I would have thought that a lord had a huge castle with round towers and stuff. But no. At least not this lord. As I said before, it was the size of a manor, with absolutely no towers at all. It was made of white stone, which gave a very sophisticated aspect to it, and the roof was blue, with gold ornaments all around. A nice little cottage...

We crossed the gardens that were so symmetrical you could think there was a mirror in the middle of the place. They were full of flowers and trees with a golden statue of the lord in the middle. Nice spot. But even the outside was not as impressive as the inside of the manor. There was gold everywhere, and chairs covered with red velvet surrounded the massive wood table where he gestured us to sit. There were also tapestries covering the walls, most of them showing Ladies and Gentlemen on horses, or in battle. Don’t go thinking I’m a usual fan of these kinda things, but this was fairly impressive. And the feast is no less impressive either. There’s food everywhere on the huge table and basically I can’t reach three-quarters of it. Karrigan still hasn’t said anything, and I don’t really mind. I really have no idea why she picked *me*. I mean, usually girls pick Daniel, the poor cute little archeologist who isn’t able to defend himself - which is not true, by the way. He could very well lay me down in a fair fight, but he always lets me win. I think he believes it helps my ego or something. But it doesn’t. Because I know he’s faking. I wouldn’t have said that at the beginning, but after a couple of years of training with us, he’s finally getting to it. But to get back to Karrigan, I don’t know why she picked *me*...

*****

After the feast, that went relatively well, we were told to wait for the lord and his daughter in one of the castle’s libraries.

Carter and Daniel were so excited at looking at all the books I almost smiled to myself at their childish excitement. Carter was fascinated at the great number of math and physic works among the lord’s collection, and Daniel was fascinated by the archive. As for Teal’c and I, well, we just sat there, exchanging knowing looks when one of the kids exclaimed his/her amazement.

And I got to thinking about the feast...

It lasted a good three hours and we finally couldn’t help but eat, especially after the look of warning the lord threw me. From what I’ve seen so far, he seems to be a man of honor, although appearances may be deceiving. Just like Karrigan who happens to be very nice, actually. I finally decided to talk to her during the feast, because she wouldn’t stop glaring at me, especially when I did some unusual stuff. Joking is the best way to break the ice, so I made a fool of myself to get her to smile. Because I wouldn’t want her - or her father - against me or my team. So when I began to eat a piece of boar or something similar to it, I made some noises that got Daniel to almost hide under the table, Teal’c to raise an eyebrow, Carter to look at me in amusement and Karrigan to laugh. Then I looked up and saw that the whole table was glaring at me with absolute awe, which made the girl laugh even more. The ice was broken.

And then we began to talk, with Carter’s help, of course, and she even ‘showed’ me how to eat boar properly. But her being nice still doesn’t make me wanna marry her, and according to Daniel, that’s what she would want from me. Imagine that...her father is probably younger than I am... So right now I’m kinda stuck. On one hand, I don’t want to give her false hopes, but on the other hand, the more people we’ve got on our side, the better the chance is for us to find the elixir.

Speaking of which...

The lord enters the room, his daughter on his heels and two men on each one of his sides. With a bow of his head, he gestures them to leave and they do, leaving us alone with his highnesses here. Then he makes us seat ourselves again, having stood up when they got in, by measure of respect, and he sits on one of the chairs too, quickly imitated by Karrigan. And, surprisingly enough, she sits beside me. Carter and I exchange a quick look before the lord begins his speech.

I don’t understand what they say so my mind quickly wanders off a bit. My eyes fall on Carter and she looks so nervous I’ve never seen her like this. I guess she’s not the super woman I sometime take for granted she is. From what I can see, she’s not very at ease being the spokesperson for us and I know she feels like she’s taking my job, or Daniel’s, away from us. But I have confidence in her. I know she can do it, even if she doesn’t like it. And I know she *will* do it, because she knows I want her to. Not because I’m her superior officer and I’m ordering her or anything, that wouldn’t be true in that situation (I didn’t insist to stay here) but I know she’ll do it because she feels I trust her as well as her capacities. I’ve learned at least that in the past couple of years we spent together. That and the fact that she’ll never leave me or Daniel or Teal’c or anyone behind even for her own life. She knows all this doesn’t she? I mean I don’t think I ever told her those things, but she must know it right? I sure hope so, because I’ve never been good with words.

Carter stops talking and Karrigan takes her turn. I can’t help but compare the two women. Karrigan is the complete opposite of Carter, on the outside as well as the inside, but they are similar in a strange kind of way. Carter is tall, strong physically as well as emotionally, not forgetting blond with blue eyes, and she doesn’t mind getting dirty and stuff, a bit tomboy, for lack of a better word. But we have so much in common, it’s amazing, really...Who would have thought? A scientist and an old soldier like me have so much in common? But we do, in another strange way. We’re military, that changes a person, and we lived some of the same horror that war makes you wanna die - or live - for. We have the same sense of humor...probably coming from Dad, but she actually is the only one to laugh at my comments.

As for Karrigan...I don’t know her as much as I do Carter, but she’s small, kinda fragile, but so stubborn you can’t even compete with her. Even if Carter does have a fair share of stubbornness of her own too. Karrigan is cold when you don’t know her and she’s a different kind of strong, where Carter is always caring and welcoming. And I say that without thinking of our first meeting...I was the one who pushed her and she got defensive...I would have done the same. But usually, she *is* caring. But to come back to Karrigan, she would make a great queen. I’m pretty sure of it. Not that Carter wouldn’t, but it’s not the same. Karrigan has been taught from the beginning to be serious, to sit with a straight back, and to speak properly, just like a lady is supposed to. She probably never played in the mud - which I’m sure Carter did, a lot, as a kid - or even touched a worm. She’s not a scientist and she doesn’t have that same sparkling curiosity that can be found in Carter or even Daniel. She’s a girl of appearance and I can’t say she’s not good at it. Her stare is intelligent, but not in the same way than Carter’s. She’s cunning, crafty, and I don’t envy the poor future husband.

But what the heck am I doing anyway?? Just as if I actually had the right to judge them. And I don’t. I’m nothing compared to those girls.

I’m brought out of my reverie by the deeper voice of the Lord.

***** ~~Feminine Instinct~~ II - The Ambassador *****

At least back then I knew what to think of the situation. We knew what we wanted and we knew what to do. But I guess life doesn’t work that way. That meeting changed everything for us and we couldn’t help but thinking about the ‘what-ifs’...What if Colonel O’Neill didn’t tell Hammond we would stay as long as we wanted? What if I’d done this instead of that? What if I’d said that? What if...what if...

At least back then I knew what to think of the situation.

*****

/"I am sorry Mademoiselle Carter but this is not possible. At least not just yet."/ he says. Yeah right!

/"Maybe you don’t understand our motives sir."/ I try again.

/"Which are?"/

I give a quick look at O’Neill who’s watching me, but his stare is kind of intimidating. It’s not like he’s listening to what I’m saying - which would be a first - he’s just watching. Lost in thoughts. Daniel and Teal’c, on the other hand, are watching but at least I know that they’re trying to get what is being said here.

/"Well...find other civilizations and people who would be happy to help us in our explorations. Find new technology to help us protecting ourselves."/

/"Against who? If I may ask."/

I hesitate for a second. I didn’t want to have to talk about the Goa’uld, not before we could be entirely sure what to expect from these people. But apparently I have no choice.

/"A race called ‘Goa’uld’, mainly."/

/"The g-o-a-u-l-d?"/ he repeats slowly and I just nod.

He shrugs.

/"Never heard of them."/ he says, his piercing green eyes locked with mine.

/"You’re a bunch of lucky people then."/ I can’t help the bitter sound of my voice. This man is killing me here. I feel more nervous than when I first applied to become a member of the SGC. But this time it’s different. I still feel the colonel’s eyes on me and I know I have to do it, because he expects me to, and I will never let him down again. Him or Daniel or Teal’c. They expect so much from me sometimes it’s frightening, but I won’t deceive them. Ever. At least I’ll try not to.

/"And you think our alchemy could help your people? How can gold protect one’s people?"/

/"We are *not* looking for gold sir. We are only trying to find new technology, live new experiences. I think your alchemists could teach us many things, as well as we could do them, but we certainly don’t want your gold."/ I answer truthfully. My eyes fall on the colonel again and I wonder just for a second if *he* wouldn’t want me to get the gold. No I’m sure he doesn’t. He would have said something and he would have been happier to stay here. I’m saying the right things.

/"Isn’t gold a very precious and worthy metal on your...planet?"/

/"It is. But wealth is not what we are looking for."/

/"Why not?"/

Ok. How many times do I have to say I hate this? I hate the situation, I hate taking Daniel’s interpret job, I hate taking the colonel’s leadership job. I so wish he spoke French! But no...I have to be the ambassador on this one. And I hate it. It’s not like the inhabitants were very friendly, or accepted our exchange of knowledge very easily, no, this man is interrogating me like we would do a criminal and I feel like he’s able to read me like an open book.

/"Could you imagine what a big mess this would cause in our society? Everybody becoming rich at once? It doesn’t work that way sir."/

/"What do you want from us then?"/ This time it’s Karrigan who speaks. Her voice sounds clear and lilting compared to the lord’s.

/"As I’ve said before, exchange our knowledge and technology."/ I say as I turn to look at her.

/"Tell me...what do you have to offer us?"/ The lord asks, still observing. I couldn’t feel more out of place.

/"Well...I don’t know! I have physics and scientific knowledge, Dr. Jackson here has great linguistic and historical knowledge, Teal’c has Goa’uld knowledge..."/ I say as I look around at the boys. O’Neill raises an eyebrow at me...Must be wondering what I’m talking about.

/"And Colonel O’Neill has...", I frown, "...is our leader."/ I finally say. God I’m so glad he doesn’t speak French.

The lord nods, lost in thoughts.

*****

"That couldn’t have gone any worse." I say as I sit on the bed, putting my head in my hands. I feel so guilty!

Daniel comes and sits beside me on the bed and rubs my back in a weak attempt of consolation.

"Sam, what’s going on? What did they say?" he asks, his voice full of concern.

I take a deep breath and straighten my back, wiping the tiredness away from my face with my hands. I look at the colonel, looking half concerned half curious at my wave of guiltiness, and then Teal’c who’s frowning and then Daniel at my side, frowning too. They all believe so much in me and look what I do...I mess everything up.

"Carter?" The colonel asks, obviously getting impatient.

I take another deep breath and look at Daniel. He’s the easiest to face right now.

"Alright. Apparently, we have to stay here."

Daniel nods me to go on.

"For how long?" O’Neill asks and Daniel sends him a look. I gesture to Daniel that it’s ok and I look at the colonel.

"I don’t know sir. For a long time."

His eyebrows raise and he walks slowly toward me.

"What exactly is your definition of the word ‘long’ Major?"

I get up at the sound of my rank, joining my hands behind my back. Habits...

"Long sir."

He nods suspiciously, eyes locked with mine. I hate deceiving him. And them.

"What exactly did he say Sam?" Daniel asks, his eyes moving from me to the colonel.

I sit again on the bed and this time bring my knees under my chin to lean on them. This is not the happiest news I ever got to tell those men...I don’t even try to imagine how they’re gonna react...Especially the colonel...He’s the one who gets the worst job.

Rather begin with the relatively good news... I turn to look at Daniel.

"Daniel, as a linguist and scholar, your learning capabilities are to be used in the lab. With the other alchemists. So you can learn the formula but also give your knowledge of Earth to whoever asks you."

He blinks a couple of times.

"Ok...So far it’s not so bad." he says as he looks at the colonel. But *he* knows there’s more to come. I can tell he’s almost holding his breath.

Then I turn to Teal’c.

He stands straight, hands behind his back, his usual stand, but there is a frown on his face.

"Teal’c, you will give your Goa’uld knowledge, as well as your war strategies. It may mean...uh...experimentation."

Oh God I hate this.

Then I look at my CO. He stands in the middle of the room, his arms crossed firmly on his chest.

"Colonel, you get to marry Karrigan to finalize the alliance."

I see him wince but soon enough his expression becomes imperceptible.

"I will not let that happen" he finally states, and I want to believe him, I truly do! But it doesn’t work that way.

"I’m afraid we don’t have much of a choice." I say as flatly.

"What do *you* get to do Sam?" Daniel asks.

"My job is the easiest...And I’m really sorry...I’m gonna give my physics knowledge as well as being the translator. Since I’m the only one to understand and speak French, the Lord and his daughter have assigned me to stay with the lady and Colonel O’Neill as long as they need me, to translate their...courtship."

"Oh." Daniel looks down at his hands on his lap.

The colonel sighs and I know he’s looking for some sort of way to get out of this situation. Believe me sir I’ve tried everything I could think of.

"And what if we refuse?" he finally asks, changing his weight from one foot to the other, his cap in his hands.

"I don’t know what to tell you sir. From what I understood it wasn’t even an alternative option."

He just nods and comes to sit on the bed beside me, Daniel on my other side.

"I take it you’ve tried the ‘we come in peace’ stuff?" he finally says, but he already knows my answer. He seems beaten and I can’t help but closing my eyes and nodding weakly. I feel so bad about all this.

"Alright. I have an idea."

I open my eyes again and look at him, his conviction giving me hope.

"What’s that?" Asks Daniel a bit carefully.

"We’re gonna break out of here!" He says as he gets up.

"I do not believe this evacuation would be as easy as you think O’Neill." Teal’c says.

"Yeah well I say we at least take our chances. We stay a couple of days, study the perimeter, plan our escape and then we’re off!" he announces as he claps in hands together and begins to rub them together.

"Sounds like *a* plan." Daniel says not very convincingly.

I nod.

"It could work if the lord doesn’t suspect us to defy his authority." I say.

"Do you think he does?" The colonel asks.

"Hard to tell sir. He’s been very rhetorical all the way through our...meeting and I think he knows more than he lets on."

"So what are we doing now?" Daniel asks.

"The lord dismissed us for the night. This is our room." I say as I wave my arm around. "I said we would share and not be separated."

"And he accepted this?" The colonel is skeptical...and I don’t blame him.

"Apparently. There is a water room right there," I say as I point the corner of the room, "with a bath and whatever we need. We can also arrange for more beds or something to sleep on."

"You can take the bed Sam" Daniel announces as he gets up to examine our room.

"Daniel?" O’Neill says.

"Never mind Colonel, you guys take the bed. The floor is ok with me. Unless..." I say as I get up too. I walk towards the main door and open it. At least we’re not locked in. I peak my head out into the corridor and there’s someone coming as soon as I’ve opened the door. A man, sword attached at his waist and a girl about 15 years old are coming our way.

/"Hi!"/ I say with a smile and a small wave. The girl smiles and she bows her head. /"I was just wondering if it was possible for us to have a few other beds..."/ I add.

/"Of course. But only one. Would that be enough?"/ she says in a very gentle voice.

I can’t help but accept.

/"I guess so. Thank you very much."/ I say and I close the door again when they’re gone. When I look back in the room, they’re all standing there, looking at me.

"What?" I ask and it seems to wake them. "I managed to get us another bed." I say as I look around the room.

"That’s good," Daniel says as he stares at one of the tapestries on the main wall.

The room is large and, just like everywhere in the castle, there is gold everywhere: on the wall, on the bed, around the windows. The bed is large enough for three people to sleep in and I hope the other bed will be as big. If possible I don’t *really* wanna sleep on the floor. There is a big painting of a very beautiful woman on the wall, above the bed. And surprisingly enough...she looks a bit like me. Not that I think I’m beautiful or anything, but she has blond hair, way longer than mine but the same color. Blue eyes, clear complexion. On the picture she wears a marine blue dress and I must admit it suits her very well. I can’t help the frown on my face.

When I turn back I see the colonel standing there, also looking at the picture, but his eyes travel from me to the painting, just as if he was comparing me. But I’m nothing compared to her; I mean she’s perfect. When he realizes I’ve noticed him watching me, he just raises an eyebrow and smiles sheepishly.

The knock on the door makes me look at it and then return my glance at the colonel.

"Probably our bed." I say and when I realize what I’ve said I frown and try again, a bit embarrassed. "I mean *the* bed."

He just nods. I wonder what that slip meant...

*****

I was the first one to fall asleep. Actually, the term ‘fall’ would be an understatement. I didn’t realize I was that exhausted until I actually lay down on the bed I’d called up. I thought I’d take this moment to think about what was going on, but I don’t even remember *thinking*. I vaguely recall Daniel, Colonel O’Neill and Teal’c talking by the fireplace but that’s all.

The weird thing though was that I spent the night with Colonel O’Neill - I mean, in the same bed - and I didn’t even realize it. Not that it would have made a big difference if it had been Daniel or Teal’c but... And I’ve never had a better sleep than last night. Must be the bed.

I was the first one up. At first I didn’t really remember where I was or who was there, with a strong arm around my waist just as if it belonged there, but then I heard it again, the annoying noise of someone knocking on the door. I got up and, trying not to disturb the boys, I went to the door.

I was so surprised to see the lord himself at our door that I just stood there, not saying anything. He seemed to have forgotten about his bright clothes to put more comfortable ones and I had to admit he looked nice. Tall, dark, rather short hair, green eyes, strong jaw, green shirt and brown pants. He looked nice.

/"Mademoiselle Carter! I trust you had a good sleep?"/ he asks very politely.

And it’s only then that I recovered from my surprise. I thought his servants - or anybody but *him*- would come to wake us. After all, it wasn’t his job.

I got completely out in the corridor and closed the door so as not to wake my teammates just yet.

/"Yes, very, thank you."/ I answered.

/"I came to ask you something."/

I just frowned; I really didn’t know what to expect, especially not at five o’clock in the morning. The sun wasn’t even up yet.

/"I would like you and your friends to accompany Karrigan and myself for a hunting trip. But for that we would have to leave very soon. What do you say?"/

/"Um...sure. I’m gonna wake them up, we’ll be ready in ten sir. Minutes...ten minutes"/ I babbled a bit while opening the door behind me and getting in. The lord just smiled, bowed his head and went back down the corridor.

So that’s how we managed to get here, in the forest, for a hunting trip with the lord, his daughter, and us. The guys weren’t very happy about it at first, but then I told them that it was the lord himself who came to offer us. And Teal’c pointed out that it would be a good time to study our surroundings. So we all got up and went.

/"So Mademoiselle Carter, tell me, why do your people travel through the Ring?"/ The lord asks me as we ride side by side. He has a falcon on his right arm, and so does the colonel, even though he doesn’t seem very at ease with it.

/"Well, I do believe I’ve already told you sir. We’re curious, we like to discover new things, new worlds, new people."/

/"So you told me"/ he answers as he looks ahead.

/"You don’t believe me?"/ I ask in disbelief. I mean I’ve never been more honest in my whole life.

/"Should I believe you?"/ he asks, his eyes piercing mine again. I don’t know why but I feel myself blushing. Where the heck does that come from?

But just as I’m about to answer, someone pulls at my sleeve. I turn on my saddle to look at the colonel with an exasperated look on my face. But I can’t help the grin when I see him with the falcon still on his arm, stretching his arm out as far as he can so the falcon will be the farthest possible from his face.

"Carter, what are you doing?" He asks with a hushed voice.

"Nothing...Talking, I guess."

"What’s with the blush?" He asks as he gestures towards my face. That’s it. Make me blush even more Colonel. Thank you very much. I give him a look and turn back to the lord who’s watching our interaction. I open my mouth to say something and he pulls on my sleeve again. I turn again to look at him, this time annoyed.

"Colonel, you have to let me talk if you want me to discover anything." I say, a bit harshly maybe.

"You’re right. Ok, I’ll leave you alone then." he says as he turns to talk to Teal’c. I sigh.

/"I’m sorry, you were saying Milord?"/ I ask as I turn his way again.

/"Please, call me Léonard, Mademoiselle Carter"/

/"Alright", I say a bit uncomfortably, "Léonard...What’s your last name Milord? I’m afraid you never told me"/ I can’t just call him that. I need to keep my distance. I mean the colonel and I have almost never called each other by our first names and it doesn’t mean we’re not good friends.

/"DuVallois. Léonard DuVallois"/ he says as he bows his head.

"Sam Carter" I say as I extend my hand for him to shake. But very much to my surprise he kisses the back of it briefly.

/"Sam Carter, do you believe your leader will accept my daughter’s hand?"/ he says as he glances briefly at the colonel, still talking and never looking at us. He’s pouting, I can tell.

/"To tell you the truth sir, I don’t think so."/

/"Why? Haven’t you said you wanted an alliance between our two people?"/

/"Yes, but..."/

/"Don’t you think the best way to make an alliance between two people is to marry their leaders together?"/

Just as I’m about to shake my head no and explain my point, the two falcons suddenly fly away, which causes Colonel O’Neill to jump and his horse to panic and throw his rider on the ground. He falls on his back and stays there for a second, without moving.

"Jack! You ok?" Daniel asks, trying to hide his smile.

The colonel only nods very slowly and then opens one eye.

"Are you sure you don’t want me to ride with you Colonel? I wouldn’t want you to fall...again." I say with an innocent smile.

"Very funny Carter", he says, still laid on his back where he fell. "Why don’t you help me up instead of laughing at me?" he adds, but he gets up on his own, caresses his horse and gets back on in a fluid movement.

Seconds later the falcons come back on their respective arms. And Karrigan, who had been silent ever since we left, pushes her horse forward a bit and comes between O’Neill and I. I guess she wants to talk. Sometimes I really wish he would speak French. Maybe I should just teach him.

*****

When Lord DuVallois asked us to go on a hunting trip, I had in mind it was just a one-day stand. But he had other ideas. I learned that we would spend at least two days - one night - in the woods. All the six of us. I don’t really mind, sleeping in the open is fun. Looking at the stars, talking quietly beside a warm fire...All that I have come to cherish when we get out on missions. That and the presence of my friends. I really hope us "working" for DuVallois will not mean "working" separated from each other. But from what I understood of the colonel’s plan of escape, we won’t have much time to find out. I noticed Teal’c closely watching the surroundings, the path we chose along the way, and I know he’s trying to remember all of them. I wonder if they wanna take off tonight.

The campfire in front of me suddenly burns brighter and I’m brought out of my reverie. It’s dark now and it’s time to eat what we caught today, which is a couple of "rabbits" - or something with long ears and no tails. I hope it tastes as good as it smells.

While DuVallois is cooking the...animals, O’Neill, Daniel, Teal’c, Karrigan and I just sit there, all of us lost in thoughts. I look at Teal’c, who is still observing subtlety his surroundings, as well as the lord’s way of cooking the meat. The man is so strong. Not only physically but also emotionally. I don’t think I ever met a man like him. Maybe it’s a Jaffa thing. Even in the military they don’t teach us to be as strong as he can be. Sometimes I envy him. I envy his calm intelligence, the blind trust he has for us, his compassion and his loyalty. Not that I don’t feel any of those things, but there is something so strong emanating from this man that you would gladly put your life in his hands. He feels my glare and he glares back, with a small bow of his and I give him a small smile in return.

Then I look at Daniel, knees brought close to his chest, his arms encircling them. I wonder what he’s thinking about. I’m sure there are so many things going on in his head, but he won’t tell any of them, unless he feels like it’s important for us. Sometimes we have to get the words out of his mouth. Especially for personal matters. Don’t take me wrong, he does talk *a lot* when it gets to mythology and history, but for private discussions, it’s harder to get in. And I don’t blame him. When I think about it, we’re all pretty much like him, except for different reasons. I can’t say that Colonel O’Neill is very much more talkative than Daniel is. In fact, he’s much *less* talkative than Daniel. But as I’ve said, for different reasons. Daniel likes to talk, but I think he just doesn’t want to bore us with his stories, but the colonel, he doesn’t talk because he doesn’t want to.

I take a look at him, leaning on his elbows, looking at the fire with a straw in his mouth. His glare wanders upwards to the sky and the stars. I wonder what he’s thinking about.

Then I hear something coming from behind me. A branch cracking and noises in the bushes. I freeze. I don’t know what that is, but it’s coming towards us. The colonel beside me sits straighter and listens quietly, still chewing his straw. I take a look around and I realize everyone heard it, everyone is on the lookout. Then we hear it again and it sounds like a pig. With teeth. And tusks. The lord gets his bow and is ready to throw an arrow while the colonel, Teal’c and I get our guns.

/"Stay close to the fire"/ the lord whispers, /"It’s a boar, it smelled the meat"/. I gesture to the others to get closer and we all do it, a bit instinctively. We stay put for what seems like an eternity, but we don’t hear the noise again. But I feel it. It’s there, I can tell.

Then everything happens in a blur. The boar comes from behind me and rushes towards me, without making any noise at all. I guess the others don’t hear it coming because they would have shot it already. I just stand there, and milliseconds later it’s on me and I fall back on the ground, dropping my gun in the process. With a strong push of my legs, I get it off me, but it comes back to the charge. It’s only then that I hear gunfire, but they miss it. How could that thing be so fast? I hardly have the time to get up again before it charges again, but when it hears the gun fires it leaves, growling like a pig. It’s running so fast that it took only two seconds to disappear into the woods again. Then everything calms down and I sit back on the ground, my legs shaking. And then I realize I’m wounded. There’s blood on my leg and arm, but I’m on too much adrenaline to be in pain. I just sit there, looking at my soaking clothes.

"Carter!" I hear the colonel shout, rushing my way and kneeling beside me. " You ok?"

I just nod. I feel dizzy...

"Just stay where you are", he says, putting a comforting hand on my shoulder, and I realize it’s also to keep me sat up. The grip is strong and his eyes are worried but he manages to tell a couple of words to Daniel then he looks back at me. My vision blurs for a moment.

"Carter!" he says again, "stay with us, we just have to stop the blood, just stay conscious please." He tells me. When Daniel arrives with some clothing, the colonel hurries in tying them around my arm and leg, but I don’t feel anything. Not yet. I’m too shocked to say anything. I just watch him and I feel my vision blur again, and his hand comes back to my shoulder to harden his grip.

"Stay with us Sam, just a little more" he says as he caresses my hair and cheek with his hand. But I can’t stay awake now. I’m so tired...

And then he releases me and lies me on the ground, near the fire. "There, you can sleep now." He says as he sits beside me. But then my eyelids close and I can’t stop them.

*****

I’ve never had such a hard time in opening my eyes. But in a flash everything that actually made me close my eyes in the first place comes back to mind. A boar attacked us and I went down. I open my eyes a bit more and I see it’s still night, probably the middle of it, from what I can tell. I take a look around and I notice everyone is asleep, except the colonel, who’s playing with a branch in the fire.

He turns sharply towards me when he notices me moving.

"What time is it?" I ask as I’m trying to sit up. But oh god it hurts. I lie back down. He gets closer to me and touches my forehead, probably looking for any signs of fever. He smiles a little after a few moments.

"About 4 hundred. You gave us quite a fright Mademoiselle," he says with a smile as his hand wanders a bit on my forehead and hair.

I try to sit up again and this time he helps me with a hand on my back.

"So what was that thing?" I ask, looking at my bandages and touching the wound through the clothes. I wince. Bad idea.

"Not too deep" he says as his chin lifts towards my wounds, "you were bleeding a lot, but they’re just a few scratches. Our highness here found some herbs that will help with the pain, as well as the recovery." He shrugs at my surprised look. "He gesticulated a lot."

"It was running so fast I didn’t even see it, or hear it coming" I say.

"Hey! Neither did we! I never saw an animal running this fast, plus it was big." he says.

"You think it’s gonna come back?"

"I don’t know...we scared the hell out of it with our guns, but it *was* hungry...otherwise it wouldn’t have attacked you."

"Thanks for the encouragement sir..." I say as I look around. "Speaking of hungry, got any of that supper left?" I ask with a smile.

He grins too as he stretches his arm to get a plate and places it on my lap. My stomach cries out for food as I smell it and then I begin eating. God it feels good.

"Can I ask you something sir?" I ask before he gets lost into his own thoughts again.

"Sure.."

"What are we gonna do?" I say as I glance at the lord’s sleeping form.

He seems surprised by my lack of optimism. He thinks for a moment, looking at the fire.

"I don’t know." he finally says with a sigh. This time I’m the one surprised by his lack of self-confidence. "Funny huh?" He adds as his eyes fall on me again. "I thought I did, but I just realized that...I have no idea what to do. You said so yourself, we’re stuck here."

"I never said that," I answer truthfully. "All I said was that the escape could work if the lord doesn’t suspect us to break out of here."

"Yeah but come on! He does suspect something! He’s not even sleeping!" he says and I think he’s right. The lord breathes very regularly, just as if he were sleeping, but he’s not.

Then we hear it again, and I freeze...again. The lord sits up straight - so he was *not* sleeping - and he shakes Karrigan awake as the colonel does with Daniel and Teal’c - who was already "awaken". They take their guns again and the colonel fires in the sky. The noises disappear through the night.

"Carter!" he says as he walks towards me, "you climb that tree, if we have to run, you’ll be safe up there." he adds as he helps me up. And I have no other choices but to agree. We walk, his arm supporting me, and he gives me a leg up to reach the lowest branch available.

Suddenly the horses, attached with their reins on branches, begin to panic.

"Damn." I hear the colonel say as he tries to get me up there as quickly as possible. I finally reach it and try to pull myself up but the stabbing pain in my arm returns as I strain the muscles to get me up. I fall back into his arms and I hear him swear.

The horses break their reins and gallop away as quickly as they can. And we hear it again. Only this time it’s coming from every direction.

"Damn! He brought his buddies..." The colonel mutters while I try to regain some sort of control over the pain in my arm. But God it hurts.

The noises are surrounding us now and I feel the colonel’s hands on my waist and without warning he takes me up into his arm, and lifts me until I can reach the branch again. I’m almost there!

"Come on Carter!" he shouts and I can almost touch the branch. I get startled when I hear gunfire and look down only for a second. There are five of them, and they’re surrounding us. Two of them spot us and walk slowly towards us, drool falling from their mouths.

"Come on Carter!" The colonel says again, this time impatiently, as he gives me one, strong, final push. I’m almost there!

Then I hear the lord.

/"Karrigan, no!"/

I can’t help but looking down again.

I see Karrigan taking a branch from the fire with flames on the end, and running in front of us, obviously allowing us some time. She’s defending us. The two boars stop for a moment, looking at her and the fire in her hand. She just stands there, ready to run if she has to.

I grasp the branch and lift myself up, trying to forget the pain in my arm.

"Colonel!" I shout, "get Karrigan out of there!"

He goes as soon as he’s sure I’m ok up there, and I can’t do anything but watch the scene before my eyes. Karrigan still stands before our tree, as still as a statue, her eyes locked on the pigs, watching their every movement. Just a few feet behind her, Colonel O’Neill slowly gets his gun out. And around the fire, there’s the lord, with Daniel and Teal’c, stuck with the three other boars. I spot my gun by the fire, where I’d dropped it the first time. Damn! Why didn’t I think of putting it back in its place? Teal’c shoots his zat but misses his target. The boar avoids the blast and begins its run towards Teal’c. He shoots it...once...twice...Damn! The thing is still very much alive and it’s running towards him again.

The lord takes his bow and shoots it, but it’s still running…very fast. DuVallois gestures Teal’c and Daniel to run and they obey without protesting, both taking a branch from the fire first. And then they run into the woods, two boars after them. Please, whoever’s listening up there, help them. The lord then runs too, a very mean looking boar on his heels and he jumps to catch a low branch and he climbs up. Then my eyes fall on Karrigan again. But no Karrigan in sight. Or the colonel for that matter.

Where the hell are they? I don’t see any trace of the colonel or Karrigan. How could they take off without me noticing? Now I have two choices: stay up here and wait, or get down there and get my gun.

My head suddenly snaps in the direction when I hear it: one shot. I heard it. A scream. Oh God...it’s Karrigan, I’m sure that’s her. Another gun shot, and another. And a cry from a boar. I can’t stay here, I have to go see what happened. I try to get down the tree as quickly as possible, without aggravating my wounds but it’s not easy. I’m gonna have to jump...Ouch...Just thinking about it hurts. But I do it anyway. I let myself slide from the branch and roll when I touch the ground. Okay, that wasn’t that bad... Then I struggle up and run to get my gun.

Ok...Another crossroads: go to the left, where O’Neill and Karrigan are - or at least where I heard the gun shot - or go to the right after Teal’c and Daniel. I spot DuVallois getting down his own tree and running my way.

/"Are you alright?"/ he asks me as he reaches me. I just nod, there’s no time to talk about me. But he understands what I’m thinking about before I can say it.

/"You go after your teammates"/ he says as he points to the right. /"I’ll go after Karrigan and your leader."/ I nod and we both leave, picking up a burning branch in one hand and my gun in the other. It’s quite dark in the woods, but it’s easy to follow the hoof prints. I go like that for a couple of minutes until I hear them. The guys...talking.

"Daniel? Teal’c?" I ask in a hushed voice. And then I see them. "Are you alright?" I ask as I try to run towards them. Daniel looks shaken but ok, and Teal’c has blood on his shirt, but the tiny smile on his face tells me it’s not his.

"As you see we are fine Major Carter" he states.

"Let’s go back to the fire...what happened to the boars that were after you?" I ask while walking back to the camp.

"We managed to burn them." Daniel says quietly. Poor him, this has shocked him a lot.

"Burn?" I repeat, making a disgusted face.

"There was no other means to eliminate them." Teal’c answers.

We walk again for a couple of minutes and when we’re finally back to the fire, a feeling of dread knots my stomach. Neither O’Neill, DuVallois nor Karrigan are back yet. I have a very bad feeling about this. But just as I’m about to go after them, I spot them coming back. The colonel is carrying Karrigan in his arms and for a moment I fear the worst, but the look he gives me also gives me hope.

"She’s alive." He just says as he lays her down near the fire. I take a look at the wounds on her legs and face, but she’s gonna be ok. She’s just unconscious.

"What about you?" I ask the colonel who looks as shocked as Daniel, maybe even more.

"I’m fine." He answers, still taking care of Karrigan, and I nod silently. If he doesn’t wanna talk about it, then we won’t talk about it.

"So what do we do now?" Daniel asks, and he looks exhausted.

I translate to DuVallois and he answers me that we’re gonna have to spend the rest of the night in the trees.

/"Why? Are there any left?"/ I ask.

/"At least one. O’Neill killed two."/ And he looks at Teal’c and Daniel.

"We killed two." Daniel answers.

/"Then there is one left. The one that was after you." / I tell DuVallois. He nods and gets up, wiping the sweat from his forehead with his hand. I hadn’t noticed it was that hot...Or maybe it’s not, maybe we’re all very stressed out right now. And we have some pretty good reasons to be. I get up too and go find a tree with lower branches, easiest for me to climb right now. It’s not very long before I spot one and I climb up. I just sit there, leaning my head on the trunk and closing my eyes.

Not long after, Daniel comes and climbs up too, and I shift to make him more room. Teal’c goes to another branch in the same tree and I see the colonel finally leaving Karrigan’s side, patting the lord’s back and heading our way. He jumps beside Teal’c and, just as the rest of us, tries to relax a bit. The lord takes his daughter in his arms and lifts her up to bring her on a low branch as well, her head resting on his lap.

I think this is one of the worst nights I’ve ever experienced.

*****

I don’t think any of us slept. But we didn’t talk either. We just sat there, eyes closed, waiting for the morning to come, and fortunately for us, we didn’t have to wait for long. About an hour later, the sun came up, warm and bright, almost making us forget the darkness of the night. Karrigan woke up just as we were about to leave, and she insisted on walking on her own, so we left her be. The horses hadn’t come back yet, so we didn’t have much choice but to walk our way back. I was so hoping to meet them on the way, because my leg was killing me, despite the herbs DuVallois put on it before we left. And from what I could see, Karrigan felt the same.

And we still do.

We’ve been walking for a couple of hours now and it’s getting harder and harder to keep up. I’m sure that both the lord and the colonel are well aware of our condition, but they know we can do it. And we can. So I keep walking.

Suddenly, coming from nowhere, Karrigan’s big horse appears in front of us and walks to her. Grins appear on all of our faces as Karrigan caresses her horse and quietly tries to climb up. Her father, seeing that she won’t be able to mount by herself, goes and lifts her up on the horse’s back.

"Carter" the colonel calls me, "why don’t you climb up there too? You really need a rest and we can’t stop. Ask her!" he says as he points Karrigan, who had followed our conversation. As I turn to her, ready to ask her, she stretches her arm and, with a smile, offers her hand to help me up. I gladly take it and, with her help, I’m there behind her. And we begin to walk again.

/"Thank you"/ I say as we ride.

/"The horse is strong, he can easily support two women."/ she answers.

/"No I meant thank you for standing in front of those boars for us. Thank you for saving my life, and the colonel’s."/ I tell her truthfully. I really want her to know how grateful I am.

She looks at me with a smile and I realize she’s blushing. Oh God...She really has a crush on him.

/"He saved my life too. Will you thank him for me?"/ She asks with hope in her eyes.

/"Of course."/ I smile. "Colonel!"

He turns our way.

"Mademoiselle?" he asks with a grin.

"Karrigan would very much like to thank you for saving her life." I tell him and he comes closer to our side, taking her hand briefly in his, he squeezes it. For a tiny moment I feel a knot in my stomach but it goes away as soon as he drops her hand. Then his hand comes to pat my thigh and he goes back to his original place, beside Daniel and Teal’c.

*****

Taking a warm bath has never hurt so much. When we arrived at the castle it was night again and I just couldn’t wait to take a bath in our room, but with the few scratches I have on my arm and leg, the usually relaxing warm water of the bath was horrible to bear. But I managed to get clean anyway, and put back on my BDU’s.

"Feeling better?" The colonel asks as he sees me exiting the water room, and I shake my head no. I sit slowly on the bed, trying to limit my movement as much as possible.

"Want me to have another look at you?" He asks as he watches the fireplace. Sometimes he’s funny. He doesn’t want us to know that he cares so he puts his ‘I’m-indifferent’ look on his face. And that’s exactly the look he wears right now.

"No sir, thank you. I’ll be fine."

He just nods without staring at me. Daniel takes his turn for the bath and heads into the water room. Just as I’m about to lay down on the bed, there’s a knock at the door. I sigh and O’Neill and I exchange a look and he goes to open it. Karrigan. I get up and manage to walk to the door, beside my CO and for a moment she just stares between the two of us.

/"Karrigan? What can we do for you?"/ I finally ask, as I feel like she’s not gonna take the first steps.

/"I came to tell you something important."/ She says, looking at me. I frown.

/"What’s that?"/

/"Before I tell you, I want you to know that I am not happy with this decision, but I have no choice."/ She takes a deep breath and throws a quick glare at the colonel, still standing by my side.

/"Karrigan, what is it?"/ she’s beginning to worry me now.

/"This is as much a warning as an order. Tomorrow you will be separated."/

/"What??"/ I shout. I don’t believe this. Especially after what we experienced the night before, the lord can’t possibly be separating us! /"Who will be separated? Where are we going?"/ I try to ask all the questions I can possibly ask before she leaves.

She lifts her chin up, as if it gives her courage, but right now I would just like to punch her.

/"Dr. Jackson will leave tomorrow morning to study the alchemy, just like my father agreed to, and the Warrior will also leave tomorrow morning for the experiments. He might as well be given a place in the militia. They are going to King Bernard’s castle."/

I take a look behind me at Teal’c, who’s calmly meditating, obviously not aware we’re talking about him. Oh God...I don’t wanna think about what they’re gonna do to him.

/"Karrigan"/ I say as I try to regain my calm, /"you can’t let that happen. Teal’c is a human being you know? You can’t just experiment on him! And he won’t let you, that I can assure you!"/

/"I am not the one to decide Major Carter, but I understand your feelings...I’ll try to talk to my father."/

/"Thank you...if you don’t, I will."/

As she turns away to leave, I grab her elbow. She turns and there goes the chin up and defying glare again.

/"What about us?"/ I ask waving my arm showing the colonel and I.

/"You will stay here with us."/ She says just as if it were very obvious.

/"And what are we supposed to do?"/

Her eyes are downcast and I think I can see a blush here. I sigh...I knew it... I throw a quick glance at the colonel and he looks like he’s trying to understand what’s going on, one eyebrow raised and his hands resting on his hips. Oh God...I don’t wanna be the one to announce this to him. Karrigan doesn’t answer, she just turns on her heels and leave, closing the door behind her.

"What the heck was that for?" He asks as soon as the door is completely closed. I turn to look at him, and just then Daniel gets out of the water room, his short hair still wet. He looks at us with a questioning glance and I sigh, putting my face in my hands.

"Daniel and Teal’c leave tomorrow." I mumble through my hands.

"What???" O’Neill explodes, and I can’t say I’m surprised. Teal’c gets out of his meditation and Daniel comes closer to us.

"You two guys have to leave tomorrow for the king’s castle, where you," I look at Daniel, "get to study the alchemy, and you Teal’c to tell your war strategies as well as your knowledge of the Goa’uld. Karrigan said she would try to talk to her father about the...ah...experiments" I say as I glance briefly at his stomach.

"I will not be subject to experiments Major Carter" he says as he stands and walks towards me.

"Believe me Teal’c, I know. That’s what I told her and that’s what made her change her mind."

"But you’re not going anywhere anyway Teal’c."

We all turn to look at the colonel, his arms firmly crossed on his chest.

"Because we’re leaving tonight." He announces just as casually. "We still have our guns, we can steal horses to get to the Stargate."

"But sir..." I try.

"Carter," he says sharply, his head snapping my way, "we’re leaving. If you wanna stay and get your gold, stay. I don’t give a damn." he adds as he heads towards the water room, clacking the door. I just stay there, frozen and unable to say anything. Why would he think I’d wanna stay? That man is a puzzle.

Daniel comes alongside me and imitates me, looking at the water room door.

"You know he’s just angry. He doesn’t mean it." He says quietly.

"Yeah...I know." But do I?

"But you do wanna come with us, right?" he asks, sounding concerned this time.

"Of course!" I can’t believe what I’m hearing. "Why would you guys think I don’t wanna go back?" I ask in disbelief.

"Well...the lord is...cute, for starters." he says, crossing his arms on his chest, avoiding my eyes for a moment. I just stare at him open-mouthed. I can’t believe what I’m hearing! They think I’m in love with the lord? What would make them think that?

"Daniel, what is wrong with you? I mean what on Earth would make you think I wanna stay with the lord?"

"No offense Sam," he says as he lifts his hands in defense. "I’m just trying to make you see what apparently you don’t see."

"Which would be..." I don’t know why but my heart starts to race in my chest.

"The lord..." he adds quickly.

"Right...But it doesn’t mean *I*, of all people, would be interested!"

"Yeah, you’re right." he says as looks down, a small apologetic smile on his lips. "It’s Jack’s fault. He’s putting all those weird ideas into my head."

The colonel? Why would he say such things? Because of the blush he caught earlier on my face? He couldn’t be...jealous? Could he? No, I don’t think so. But why then?

The man in question gets out of the water room and, without looking at me, goes to the door and peaks his head outside. His hair is still wet and his black T-shirt sticks to his chest. I guess he didn’t dry himself enough... *Ahem*! Sam...get that out of your mind, right NOW!

"Looks clear. Ready to go?" he asks. And he’s still angry.

"We are O’Neill." Teal’c states and he’s right, we are.

I tighten the bandage on my leg and arm, and put on my jacket. I’m ready. O’Neill opens the door quietly and pats Daniel out, with Teal’c on his heels. He looks at me then, and when he realizes I’m coming too, he stops and raises an eyebrow at me. I clench my jaw in frustration and pass by him. What the hell is going on with him tonight? We walk down the dark corridor, Teal’c first, then Daniel and myself, and in the rear the colonel. We stop and hide in an alcove and two men armed with swords at their waist pass without seeing us. We continue down the corridor and climb down the stairs as quietly and quickly as possible. It’s dark and it’s hard to see anything, but we miraculously manage to make our way outside the castle without any further obstacles.

We run to the stables and get two horses out of there. Teal’c jumps on one and offers me his hand. I take it and he pulls me up behind him. I see O’Neill do the same with Daniel. And then we’re off.

***** ~~Feminine Instinct~~ III - The Alchemists *****

Sometimes hope can make you feel weird things, say strange words. It can create a huge knot in your stomach and make you stop breathing. But what a wonderful feeling it is.

Hope.

Now I almost laugh when I hear that word.

*****

We rode as quickly as possible for the first few hours. The horses were foam-covered and we had to stop for a moment if we didn’t want to make the rest of the way on foot. Sam was still limping a little then but she looked ok, if angry. I don’t know why Jack puts that much pressure on her. And I wonder even more why she lets him do it. I guess it’s a military thing.

After our five minutes break, we pushed our horses forward again and I had to hang on to Jack’s waist if I didn’t want to fall. And God knows I’m gonna walk like a cowboy tomorrow...if at all. But we’ve finally made it to the village we visited when we first arrived here. Jack quietly gives the order to slow down and we ride silently in the dark streets. As soon as we pass through, we go for a gallop again, and hopefully our next stop will be the Stargate.

As we ride, I recognize the path we walked down a couple of days ago, and my stomach stirs as I think about home. I would have loved to stay here under better circumstances, but I guess Jack was right by making us leave. I understand his motives...marrying a girl three times younger than yourself is not a very attractive thought... At least not for me or, from what I could see, for Jack.

I look up far ahead of us and we can see the shadow of the Stargate...and lights.

"Jack stop!" I announce loudly in his ear.

"What? What fo..." he stops himself as well as his horse when he sees what I saw.

The lights. Fire torches in front of the gate. A lot of them, forming some sort of a barrier. And now that we’re stopped, we can hear horses and swords being taken out of their sheaths.

"Damn." He says. He looks around in panic and I feel a knot forming in my stomach. That’s it. We won’t be able to escape. Jack turns his horse around and gallops as fast as he can back to the village. Teal’c and Sam follow but it’s easy to tell that their horse is exhausted. But they follow anyway. I look behind and I see some of the lights coming after us. Damn. They saw us.

When we’re in the village once again, Jack jumps down, and since I’m holding his waist, I fall with him and we roll in the muddy grass. I spot Sam and Teal’c doing the same and Sam gets back up with a grimace on her face. Must have hurt jumping down like that. But apparently she can handle it, because she starts running after Jack when he does so. We follow them in the dark streets to find some place to hide. We finally find some sort of barrels in one corner of the street and we hide behind them.

My breaths are fast and shallow as I watch the men who followed us enter the village and slow down with a gesture of the leader’s hand. DuVallois. I recognize him. Why doesn’t he just let us go? What does he want from us? His men get down from their horses and bend down to observe the ground. Damn...

I’m distracted by a pat on my arm. I turn to look at Jack and he signs me and Sam to run on the right, and Teal’c to go straight. We nod silently.

Three..Two..One...

And we run...As fast as we can, but soon I notice Sam finding it hard to keep up. She limps a lot now and she draws shallow breaths... I grab her elbow and pull her behind a house.

"Daniel" she whispers, trying to catch her breath, "you keep on going. I can’t keep it up." she says between breaths.

"No Sam come on...we have to go on..." I plead.

But she looks at me with that determined look of hers and she pushes me forward. And I run...Run like hell. The streets are muddy and some places are slippery but I try to stay on my feet. I see an intersection and I turn to the left and I stop dead in my tracks.

They’re here. They’ve got me. They’ve surrounded me.

And the lord doesn’t seem very happy.

I bend down to catch my breath and two of his men climb down their horses and come towards me. I’m about to let them get me when a figure comes out of the shadows and kicks one of the men in the stomach and then in the face.

Sam...

I take advantage of the surprise to hit the other one, grab her elbow and run towards where we came from. We run but we can hear the horses behind us, and they’re a lot faster than we are. We’re never gonna make it...

I take a look behind me and I see they’re getting closer...And then I hit against someone’s chest and fall back in the mud.

"Dammit Daniel what are you doing running this way?" Jack whispers as he offers me a hand to stand. I grab his elbow and begin to run again.

"They’re after us..." I say as we run. "Where’s Teal’c?"

"I don’t know...went ahead like I told him to." he answers.

He takes a quick look at Sam and, stopping to wait for her to be beside us, he grabs her arm and lifts her on his back. She protests but then he runs again and she has nothing to do but put her arms around his neck and legs around his waist to help him.

But we’re not going as fast as we should and soon we’re back in the original place...The center of the village...

Where guards are waiting for us.

We stop and look behind but we’re trapped. They’ve surrounded us. This time it’s true, we’re stuck here. Jack lets go of Sam and she stands again and he straightens his back, trying to catch his breath. And then the lord himself arrives in front of us and he gets down from his horse.

I feel Jack tense as the man comes towards us and I can’t restrain him when he walks to meet the lord and give him a good right hook on the jaw. DuVallois falls backwards and one of his men catches him before he hits the ground. He stands again and just looks at Jack, his lip bleeding. Jack stays where he is and he looks beaten. I never thought I’d see the day to witness Jack beaten. When he has no hope at all. And it’s this lack of hope that strenghtens mine. If he gives up now, then I won’t. For both of us.

"For cryin’ out loud why don’t you just let us go?" Jack asks desperately but the lord doesn’t answer.

He goes to Sam and speaks and she looks at him, furious but answering anyway. Probably asked where Teal’c is. I hope he’s ok. I hope at least one of us is gonna be able to make it back home.

But it won’t be me.

*****

So this is it.

This is the moment to say my good-byes to my friends. But no farewells, because we *are* going to see each other again right? Right? We are going to get out of here, right?? Well, I keep that hope at the bottom of my heart because if it’s there, I know it won’t be able to escape from my chest. Even though it would be so easy to lose it.

The three of us stand in the middle of the village, where we got captured and where we’ve spent the night trying to ‘discuss’ things. At least Sam has been trying to. But I see her coming back to us, looking as if she has the whole world on her shoulders. She walks towards us, looking down, kicking rocks as she comes. Then she looks at us and I can see all the guilt in her eyes, and shame.

I pull her into a tight hug and tell her it’s not her fault, that she couldn’t do anything more than she did. She hugs me back even tighter. I disentangle from her and try a smile, although I’m not very sure if it actually looks like a smile. But she does smile back, a small, hopeful smile, from the corner of her mouth.

Then I turn to Jack. He stands there just watching us, arms crossed on his chest until I offer my hand for him to shake. He takes it and smiles a little.

"Now you take care of yourself." He says.

"Yeah..." I say, throwing a look at Sam. "Jack, don’t make her feel like it’s her fault because it’s not." I add, still shaking his hand.

He stiffens a little but returns the shake.

"I know."

"We *are* gonna find a way home, Jack." And I can’t help myself so I hug him lightly. He pats my back and we pull apart. "Just don’t forget to come and get me." I say with a smile as I walk away from them.

This is so hard...But I have hope. I have to...

Two men escort me to a horse and I climb up, waving my hand at my friends before we leave. They wave back and then I’m gone. One of my ‘escort’ takes my reins and the two of them push their horses forward.

I don’t look behind.

*****

I look at my watch. 10h30 PM. What the hell is she doing? We were supposed to meet at 10...I look again at my watch impatiently when something in the little corner of the screen catches my attention.

July 3rd... My heart skips a bit when I realize what this implies.

Three months...It’s been three months since I last saw my friends... I hadn’t realized time passed so quickly. Don’t take me wrong...I do miss them, and I mostly wonder what’s going on with them, and Teal’c... I don’t know if Teal’c finally made it to the Stargate or not...I sure hope he’s ok...and Sam and Jack too... I hope Jack hasn’t been too rough on her, the last time I saw them he was so jealous I couldn’t believe my eyes...I mean it’s not like they were together! Then I would have understood, but sometimes they act so weirdly when they’re around each other...And either of them have realized what this means... Well maybe they have by now, I hope they’re ok.

I almost laugh at my own use of words...Hope…I don’t hope anymore...All I do is live, each day, as much as I can, trying not to deceive them even if they wouldn’t know if I did. But some days are harder than others... I’ve done my mourning for home, but sometimes images, flashes, faces I’m never gonna see again come into my mind and disappear as quickly as they come. That’s what happens when I have too much time to think, which is usually rare, under the circumstances. I work in the lab everyday from 7 to 10 and I don’t have time to think, even for a minute when I’m up there. Sam would jump up and down if she knew everything I now know about chemistry and alchemy. It’s amazing, really.

However I’ve found out that changing metals into gold is not as easy as it seems. It doesn’t change over night...In fact, it takes a few months for the transformation to be complete. I’ve seen my first complete transformation today, and I must say it felt fabulous...If I could write down the recipe and bring it back ho.... No, I can’t think of that right now... Amalia is supposed to arrive soon.

I didn’t think that women would be allowed to work in the labs, but when I first arrived, I realized that there were a few of them, and Amalia was one of them. And she’s the one with whom I got to work for the last three months. And she’s also the one I’m waiting for right now. But she’s always late, I’m getting used to that by now. Now it makes me chuckle to think how mad would Jack be at her if she were in our team. He hates people being late.

Sometimes I still think of our separation, and about how I felt that day...I felt horrible, to say the least, but I had hope at the time...I thought that, being here, in the King’s palace, could help me find a way of escape for all of us. Oh boy how wrong I was...

After we got separated, they led me to the lord’s castle again to take my stuff, they said, but I didn’t have anything, so we left almost right after we arrived. We took a coach and I was grateful not to have to ride a horse again. I couldn’t walk for five days after our few days of riding...And I must say that it made me appear foolish in the eyes of Amalia, she chuckled every time I made a grimace because it hurt.

What is she doing?

And when we arrived at the palace, the smell was so horrible I almost passed out, and I soon found out why. It was situated in the middle of the city, with its huge guard towers. But the thing is, the cities during the Middle Ages were practically open sewers...People throwing their rubbish and, forgive the word, shit in the streets was a very common thing... I could just picture Jack asking what the hell is that smell, and cracking a sarcastic comment...But he wasn’t there, and neither was Sam or Teal’c. I was alone and I didn’t even speak French. I knew a few words because of my linguistic knowledge, but not enough to entertain an interesting conversation. But I learned, because I had no choice. Being alone for three months with people who don’t even speak your language, who don’t even understand ‘yes’ and ‘no’, helps you to learn. And fast. I must say that I owe a lot to Amalia, because she’s the one who helped me the most, and when I understood most of what people said, I began to feel a bit less miserable. And then I began talking again, especially with Amalia, and when she felt I was good enough, she even introduced me to the King. Of course he knew a bit about me, the lord had told him of our ‘treaty’, but still he seemed happy to finally meet me. That was...2 months ago... I also learned that Amalia was a very important alchemist in the kingdom. She’s the sister of the now famous man who succeeded with the alchemy and apparently she’s very high-ranked. I must admit it didn’t surprise me at all. She’s a beautiful, very smart woman...and who’s always late...

It’s almost 11 now... I decide to sit on the ground and I lean against the wall. We’re supposed to go to a party tonight...but strangely enough I don’t really feel like it. Not tonight. Tonight I wanna think about my friends, I wanna feel nostalgic. I look at the stars and there is a small comfort in thinking that, at least, they see the same ones.

I see a lean figure coming out of the shadow and there she is. I get up and go meet her. Her brown eyes meet mine and she smiles as she sees me. She’s rather tall, and her long brown hair is tied with a leather lace.

/"Amalia what took you so long?"/ I ask as I arrive in front of her.

/"Sorry Daniel, I had things to work out"/ she says, /"I hope you haven’t waited too long?"/ she asks sweetly. But she definitely knows how long I’ve been waiting. I offer her my arm and we begin to walk.

/"I learned some interesting news today."/ She says as we walk. /"I think it was worth the wait."/ she adds as she stops and turns to look at me.

/"What’s that?"/ I ask.

/"There is a wedding coming."/

/"Really? An important wedding?"/ Weddings at the palace are not unusual, and usually it’s not such a big news.

/"I think so, yes."/

/"Who’s getting married? The King again?"/ and I chuckle at my own joke. The King has been married five times so far...I wonder how he can still keep it up.

/"No. Not the King. A Lady called Karrigan DuVallois and her mentor Jack O’Neill."/ She says, seriously.

For a moment I just stare at her...

/"What? This is a joke right?"/

I told her all about my team and the SGC and everything I could possibly talk about... But I never thought she would be the one to announce this news.

/"I’m afraid not. They’re coming here, for the wedding."/ She says.

/"When?"/ I ask and I feel it again...that disturbing hope...

/"In one month."/

Oh my god...Jack? Marrying Karrigan and coming here? I can’t believe it! I just stand there for a moment, deep in thought. I mean does he know I’m here? Does he know I’m still alive? And what about Sam? Is she coming too? And Teal’c...did he make it back to Earth? I have so many questions to ask, but I’m afraid no one could give me the answers I’m looking for.

/"Do you know if Sam is coming too?"/ I finally ask.

/"I don’t know yet."/ she says as she shrugs.

/"Yet? What do you mean yet?"/

/"I mean that we’re going to find out tonight...So? Good excuse to be late huh?"/ she asks with a smile as she takes my arm and we begin to walk again. But I’m too shocked to say anything as I follow her in the city.

We stop in front of a smoke filled pub and we can hear music and laughter inside. I grab her elbow before she gets in.

/"Amalia. Thank you for getting these pieces of information. You made my day you know?"/ I say and she smiles. I take the opportunity to kiss her briefly. Her smile gets brighter and she turns around to get in. And I follow her. God knows what I’m gonna learn tonight about my friends, but I’m willing to spend all the money I got to find out. And being one of the King’s alchemists pays well.

We walk in and Amalia walks directly to a table in one corner of the room, and I’m surprised to see an old woman sitting there... I don’t know why, but I was expecting some big bearded man, with huge muscles and smoking cigars, asking me to pay for the information he’s going to give me. But no, no such clichés tonight. The woman who sits there looks in her mid sixties and she wears a scarf around her head and thin face. But she has happy wrinkles around her eyes, coming from years of laughter and happiness, even in this rough society.

Amalia sits first in front of the woman and I imitate her.

/"Dr. Daniel Jackson, this is Olivian, a friend of my mother."/ Amalia says as I shake the woman’s hand.

/"Oh Amalia"/, Olivian says, taking her hand, /" he’s even cuter than you’ve described!"/ I feel myself blush but as I take a look at Amalia, I notice she’s bright red too. So she talks about me huh? And I’m cute?? I can’t help the grin on my face as I look at her and she blushes even more. I take her hand and squeeze it. And she smiles. But then she looks back at Olivian and I do the same.

/"Olivian, you said you knew some things about Daniel’s friends...can you tell us?"/ Amalia asks gently, still holding my hand, our fingers entwined together.

/"Yes, I learned many things today that I thought could interest you Daniel."/ she answers as she turns to me.

I give the woman all the attention I can give and she moves her head closer to mine.

/"Lord DuVallois will have his daughter Karrigan to marry your leader, Colonel Jack O’Neill in a month from today."/ She says, but this I already knew. I want to know more. I need to know more.

/"Do you know if Major Carter will accompany them on their trip to the palace?"/ I ask.

/"I do believe she will. She has been the secret new love of the lord since she arrived."/

Ok...not so secret...It was pretty obvious... But I nod to encourage her to go on.

/"I do believe she was also assigned to be the interpreter, isn’t this right?"/

/"Yes, that’s right."/ I can’t help the hurry in my voice. This is the first news I’ve had of my friends since we got separated. /"But tell me...do you know how Jack agreed to marry Karrigan? I mean the last time I saw him he wasn’t very interested..."/

She shakes her head no.

/"I am sorry Dr. Jackson, this is all I know...I’m afraid it’s not much compared to your expectations, but that’s all I know."/ she says apologetically.

/"What about my other friend?"/ she frowns but I go on excitingly. /"Teal’c, the Jaffa, big guy with a gold tattoo on his forehead, can’t miss him!"/ She frowns even more and does some heavy thinking.

/"Yes, I remember who you are talking about...but I do not know what happened to him!"/

/"Then he’s probably already home... But there is something I don’t understand..."/

/"What is it son?"/

/"Why didn’t General Hammond send reinforcements when he realized we wouldn’t come back..."/

/"If you are talking about the Ring then your leader couldn’t send reinforcements."/ she states, looking me in the eye.

/"Why not?"/ I ask but I fear the answer.

/"Because the Ring has been buried, after your escape attempt. The guards kept it under surveillance for a few days, but no activation occurred, so they buried it."/

I sit back fully in my chair and try to take in what I just learned. I chuckle unbelievably as I think of what she said.

/"Ok...let me get things straight...First Jack is gonna marry a girl three times younger than he is, and Sam is just gonna let him do that... Then I learn that Teal’c is nowhere to be found, and finally that our only mean of salvation is buried?"/ I chuckle bitterly even more. I think I’m losing it.

Amalia looks at me as if I had three heads and I can’t say I can blame her...I’m actually laughing. She exchanges a look with Olivian and the woman just shrugs. But then I stop laughing and lean my forehead on the table in front of me.

Why does the word ‘hope’ even exist?

At least I’m gonna see them again. I’ll try to ask to see them. Maybe they’ll let me. With two guards at my sides...and a couple at their sides...

But one thing is for sure, we’re not going home.

*****

This was one hell of a night. I didn’t want to party but after what I’d learned, I didn’t want to feel nostalgic anymore. So Amalia and I stayed in the pub until 5 AM and then we went back to the palace. We, alchemists, have small apartments in one of the main tower, because the labs are up there. So when we arrived, Amalia went to her room and me to mine.

What a hangover I had this morning. A horrible headache. It had been a while since I last had a good drunken night, but, as usual, this morning I swore to myself that this was the last. And this morning I felt even more miserable than the night before. Because today I knew the truth, I knew what to expect. But I went to the labs anyway, and I felt selfishly happy to see that Amalia was looking as horrible as I was. She couldn’t handle her alcohol anymore than I, we made a good-looking pair last night.

But she greeted me with a smile, as usual, and her eyes shone brighter, as usual. I know how she feels about me, and I know how I could easily feel about her, but so far something has stopped me. Maybe that same disturbing hope I’ve had to go back home, to where I belong. But now...I think I can allow myself to love her like she deserves. Because she sure deserves it. In another drunken night, like yesterday, we were both sitting in a pub, drinking and dancing, and when we couldn’t dance anymore we talked. That’s when I told her everything about us, about my life, about me, and she told me everything in return.

Her father was a merchant a few years ago, but from what I understood, he was a true bastard. Hitting his wife and children whenever he had the chance. Her mother sent both her and her brother to the palace because she felt they were intelligent enough to be part of the alchemy team of the King. And so they were. She also felt that this would protect them from their father. Her mother died two years ago of a sickness (which I’m sure could have been cured with antibiotics), and her father is still alive but she doesn’t talk to him anymore. And when I think about it I understand why she would be interested in a man like me. I wouldn’t hurt anyone, especially not women and children. From what she described, I’m the complete opposite of her father.

So I’m trying to compensate for the years of hell she lived as a child. We work together, we laugh together and we go out together. She makes me feel good and I’m happy when I’m with her. And I’m pretty sure it’s mutual.

I take a look at her as she works over her potion, concentrating hard. Sometimes she makes me think of Sam. How excited she gets when she discovers something new, when she finds the solution to a problem that’s been bothering her for a while. But they both are very different. Different lives, different society, different history. I sound like Marx don’t I? Yeah well, I’ve come to realize that his philosophy makes sense...

I walk to her and she’s concentrated so fully she doesn’t even hear me coming behind her.

/"What are you doing?"/ I ask in her ear.

She jumps so much she drops her test tube on the floor. I smile when she looks at me, furious.

/"Daniel Jackson don’t ever do this to me again."/ she says as she turns to look at me.

I just kiss her. The first real kiss. When we pull apart she looks completely shocked.

/"What did you do that for?"/ she asks, her eyes wide open and her cheeks flushed. She looks beautiful.

/"I wanted to."/ I answer but she doesn’t buy it. She frowns and put her hands on her hips.

/"You don’t believe me?"/ I ask with a grin and she shakes her head no. I lean in again and I kiss her again, this time more passionately. One of her arms comes around my waist and the other pulls me closer as it encircles my neck.

We pull apart when we hear a soft ‘ahem’ coming from behind us. We burst out laughing when we look at the embarrassed face of one of the other alchemists. I wink at Amalia and go back to work, a grin on my face.

*****

The big day is coming. One more week and they’re here. I can’t stay in place now. I’m so excited to see them again. Even though I expect a brainwashed Jack...It’s not like him to accept the wedding. I wonder what they gave him for him to agree... And what about Sam? I mean I hope the lord hasn’t made a move on her...Although I doubt Jack would let *that* happen. But they’re good together, I’m sure they’re fine.

I stamp my foot nervously and Amalia puts a reassuring hand on my thigh. Instantly my leg stops moving. We’ve been sitting here for hours to see the king and I can’t take it anymore. I’m here to ask him permission to see my friends when they’ll come here. If Amalia hadn’t come, I think I’d be dead by now. She asked our ‘boss’ for a half-day off because we had an audience with the king. The boss whistled impressively and then accepted our request. Our relationship is ‘official’ now. I love her, she loves me, and everybody knows it, even if we haven’t actually told each other. She’s been so kind to me in the last few weeks, trying to get all the information she could about my friends. I couldn’t have done this without her.

The door bursts open and a man comes in front of us and we stand up.

/"The king will receive you now, please follow me"/ he says and we do just as he asks. Not so many people get to see the private apartments of the king, and I should consider this an honor, but right now I’m too nervous to consider anything. But I must admit the apartments are rather impressive.

We follow the man down a small corridor and the daylight coming from the big windows illuminates the gold everywhere. He opens the door at the end of the corridor and we follow him in. The king is there, sitting at his desk, a nib in his hands and small round glasses on his nose. He looks up when we come in and the man announces us. He smiles when he sees me and walks towards me. I bend myself as a salute and Amalia beside me does the same. Very much to my surprise, the old man comes and hugs me, and then kisses me on both cheeks, hands on my shoulders.

/"What can I do for you son?"/ he asks as naturally as possible. I wonder for a moment if he knows who I am or if he’s just confusing me with one of his other subjects. But no, apparently he knows who I am, and he is not senile.

I clear my throat and give a quick look at Amalia at my side and she gives me a reassuring smile.

/"Actually I...ah...have a favor to ask you sir."/ I finally manage to say.

He waves his arm around the room and invites us to sit in one of the sumptuous chairs at his desk. We follow him and we sit, a bit uncomfortably. Well, at least *I* am uncomfortable. Amalia seems ok, I take it it’s not the first time she’s been here.

/"What is your favor Dr. Jackson?"/ the king asks, crossing one of his legs over the other thigh.

/"Ah...As you already know, my friends Jack O’Neill and Samantha Carter are coming here soon for...ah...Jack’s wedding..."/

He nods me on.

/"And I was wondering if I could...possibly...meet them. It’s been a while since I last saw them and I would very much like to talk to them."/ I add hastily. But he stops me with a gesture of his hand.

/"Dr. Jackson, why would you think you have to come and ask my permission? If they are your friends, then you can see them whenever you wish to."/

/"Really..."/ If I had known I would have paid them a visit or two, or at least written them a letter telling them I’m still alive, despite what they might think.

/"Was this the only favor you had to ask me Dr. Jackson?"/ he asks, as if this wasn’t important enough to disturb him. Oh well, maybe it wasn’t to him, but it is important to me.

/"Yes sir...yes it was."/ I say as I get up and Amalia imitates me. I bend in a salute and thank the king for his audience.

The man leads us to the door and opens it.

/"Dr. Jackson!"/ The king says when I’m at the door. I turn around. /"Your friends are already here./ He adds with a grin.

*****

I can’t walk fast enough out of his office. I’m so excited I don’t even know where I’m going. Amalia is practically running after me and she grabs my arm to stop me.

/"Daniel, slow down a bit will you?"/ she says as she turns me around to look at her.

/"Sorry...I just..."/

She stops me with a kiss.

/"You will see your friends soon, I promise you, but right now we have to go back to work."/

I groan.

/"How am I supposed to be able to work when I know they’re here?"/ I ask desperately.

She takes my arm and smiles as we begin to walk again, this time slower.

/"Just come and you will see that time passes quickly. You can see them tomorrow, or tonight, if you want."/

/"You *will* come with me right? I’d love you to meet them!"/

She stops again and I look at her. She looks serious, but happy.

/"You really want to introduce me to your friends?"/ she asks. I don’t think she realizes what she means to me.

/"Of course I want to introduce you. You’ve been everything to me since I got here and I...I love you..."/ the first time to say those words is always a shocker. And she looks shocked to death. But after a moment of mouth opening and shutting, she hugs me tightly.

/"I love you too..."/ she whispers in my ear and I hold her closer. I let her go and kiss her briefly before we begin walking again.

/"So you will come?"/ I ask her.

/"Yes, absolutely! I’d love to meet your friends."/ she says excitedly.

I smile too. I just hope they’re not brainwashed or something.

Tonight. We’ll go see them tonight.

*****

The return to work was awful. I don’t think I’ve ever been this impatient all my life. Staying seated was a terrible chore and I couldn’t help myself from moving, wandering around the labs, thinking about how our reunion was going to be after four months of separation. I didn’t even notice when Amalia disappeared. I was so stuck in my own worries and thoughts that I didn’t even realize she was gone until I needed to ask her a question. But she wasn’t there. I asked the people around if they knew where she was gone, but everyone shrugged or told me they saw her leaving the labs but didn’t know where she was going or why.

And right now I’m beginning to get worried. We said we’d meet for supper at 10, but she’s not here yet and it’s almost eleven. To be honest I don’t even know why I’m worried, I mean she’s always late. She was probably told that she had more important stuff to do than stay in the labs, and me being so caught up in my own memory, she didn’t want to disturb me. I, at least, hope that’s what happened...I don’t wanna think about the other alternatives.

So I just sit there, in my usual seat when I’m waiting for her and wait. I hope she’s gonna be in time to meet Sam and Jack. I wouldn’t want to miss them. Oh well, I can wait all night and see them tomorrow if she doesn’t arrive soon. I hope I won’t have to wait that long...Come on Amalia...

Just as I’m about to sit down more comfortably, I spot her running towards me. I get up and run to meet her and when she sees me, she stops, and a slow smile appears on her face. But there is something else in her eyes...Sadness, maybe, I don’t think I can define it. She finally begins walking again and we stop when we’re facing each other.

/"What happened?"/ I ask, trying to sound irritated. But she just takes my hands in hers and glares down at them.

/"Daniel, I learned some wonderful news...But..."/ she says, still looking down.

/"But what?"/ I ask as I lift her chin with my forefinger so that she looks at me.

/"But it may not be so wonderful to me..."/ she adds, her smile disappearing.

/"What is it? You’re worrying me here..."/ I reply.

/"The Ring has been unburied,"/ she finally admits, /"and someone, a tall man went through last night."/

/"Teal’c??"/ I ask, hope coming back again.

/"I don’t know...We can’t be sure, but I do believe that it could be him... My people doesn’t know how to use the Ring...It has to be one of yours. According to Olivian, the man was tall, muscular, but his face or color couldn’t be seen because he was wearing a dark cape...That’s all I know...But Daniel...You can go home!"/ she announces with a teary smile.

I hold her tight as I’m still trying to take in the news...The Stargate has been used? It’s unburied? I feel her sobs shaking her body against mine and I feel terrible...How could I do this to her? Why didn’t I keep hope, which stopped me for awhile to fall in love with her? But now it’s too late...I fell for her, and her for me, and I’m leaving her...

I pull us apart and take her face in my hands to force her to look at me. Her stare finally finds mine and I smile.

/"Why don’t you come with me?"/ I ask, and she grins through her tears, leaning into the caress of my hands. But she soon looks away.

/"Daniel..."/ She says, biting her lip. And it sounds so much like a negative answer I feel my heart sink.

/"You could work in the labs... and guess what? No more alchemy!"/ I joke, because she often told me she was completely fed up doing that.

She laughs and wipes her sniffing nose with her wrist.

/"Are you sure I could fit in?"/ she finally asks.

/"Oh absolutely..."/ I say and I kiss her passionately.

I have to find Sam and Jack...We can go home...

***** ~~Feminine Instinct~~ IV - The WoodMan *****

I am finally home. Or rather what I have called home for 4 years now. But how may I call this home when my friends are not here to share it? I do not know what happened to them, but it has been almost four months now...I do not know if I have to give up hoping for their return.

I do not believe so.

I will find them and bring them home again.

&nbs