Title :

Beneath all Ignorance

Author :

Bianca Ziller

Email :

Scullybz@aol.com

Category :

SJR

Status :

Rating :

a happy G *g*

Content warnings :

None

Pairings :

Season/sequel info :

None

Spoilers :

Beneath the surface

Archive :

wherever you want, but let me know. THX

Summary :

Sam's thoughts after SG 1 regained their memory in BENEATH THE SURFACE.

Disclaimer :

The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.

Feedback :

Author's Note :

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‚So... Colonel'

‚Major'

‚That man you were trying to remember...'

‚General Hammond'

‚Right'

‚He's from Texas you know. It's all coming back'

‚Yes sir'

‚Sir... Let's go home'

‚Yes sir'

I'm nodding. I know. We both do. It's over. The time we had here was strange. We had to work so much and so hard. We had to defend ourselves against the other workers and fight for everything. We were taken by surprise and trapped here. I should be angry.
Angry and glad that it's over. But I'm not. I'm kind of sorry we have to go. I mean it was so unbelievable. It was completely different. It was a chance for us. A chance that we've taken actually. Jack was not a colonel and I was not a major. We didn't know who we are or where we belong to. We didn't know that what we were doing - what we were feeling - was wrong. We didn't know about the Air Force and the regulations that keep us apart. But we did know that there was something between us. Something we both felt and still feel. Something we're not allowed to feel. Never have been and never will be.
I smile at him and sigh.

We're walking out of the room, along the corridors that lead to the surface. He's walking in front of me. I see his back, his head, his hair. I remember the nights we spent talking together with Daniel about our dreams. I remember the nights we spent talking together without Daniel. Sitting on the ground, next to each other. I laid my head on his shoulder and listened to him. I remember every detail. It felt so damned right. And I was so happy when he told me that he remembered something else. ‚Feelings' as he had said. ‚For me?' I had asked. ‚No for Thor - meant Teal'c' he had deadpanned. I still feel the giggle in my throat and hear the joy in his voice. I wish we were back that night. I wish I could once again sit next to him like this. So close, so unburdened, so ignorant.

He's not talking during the walk. Me neither. I'm much too busy with my thoughts. I'm wondering what he's thinking about. Is he already back on earth? Busy with duty? My CO again? For the few days we spent here, he was something else. Someone else for me. But well, maybe he thinks completely different about everything. Or maybe not. We should talk about what happened. But we won't. We can't. I guess he'll forget or supress all memory of the days down here. And I wonder if I should do the same. I shake my head and become aware that he's still in front of me. No, I can't forget and I actually don't wanna forget. Maybe someday we'll get another chance. Or maybe not, then we'll still have our memories. Memories that make me smile and cry the same time. How can life be so cruel?

Finally we have reached the city and meet the others. They have already been waiting for us. We start walking towards the stargate. ‚Here we are' Jack says as we're standing in front of it. Daniel already started dialing. ‚I can't wait to be home' he says merrily.
‚Back to normal' he adds. I feel Jack's eyes on me and look up at him. ‚So do we' he mumbles. His voice low and sad. I'm nodding. I know. We both do. And step through the stargate.

***THE END***