"When Tomorrow Comes" by DustDevil
TITLE: When tomorrow comes
AUTHOR: DustDevil
EMAIL:
dustdevil@btinternet.comRATING: PG-13
CATEGORY: Drama, Angst, S&J UST/R?
WARNINGS: Language, pretty mature themes later on
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
SUMMARY: Prisoners on another world, SG1 struggle individually to learn about their captors and escape.
FEEDBACK: Yes please! Feeeeeeeeeeedbaaaaaaaaack...drool...
SPOILERS: Uh...don't think so...but it's set season 3.
***************************************
"Underneath your dreamless eyes
Shades of sleep, have driven you away
The moon is pale outside
And you are far from here
Breathing shifts your careless hair
Untroubled by the chaos of our lives
Another day, another night
Has taken you again my dear
And you know, I'm gonna be the one
Who'll be there, when you need someone to depend on
When tomorrow comes
When tomorrow comes (wait until tomorrow comes)
When tomorrow comes (wait until tomorrow comes)
When tomorrow comes (wait until tomorrow comes)
Last night, you were lying in my arms
And I was wondering where you were
And though you looked just like a baby
Fast asleep in this dangerous world
With the stars shining brightly
It's like a million years before
And you were feeling very small
Underneath the universe
And you know, I'm gonna be the one
Who'll be there, when you need someone to depend on
When tomorrow comes
When tomorrow comes (wait until tomorrow comes)
When tomorrow comes (wait until tomorrow comes)
When tomorrow comes (wait until tomorrow comes)"
When Tomorrow Comes - The Eurythmics
***************************************
Trapped.
Trapped in this humid watery prison, left to wallow in my own misery.
Maybe I'm becoming a little maudlin with my long imprisonment and old age, but I've certainly had plenty of time to think. It's not something generally attributed to us, but I do do it from time to time. I only wish I had someone to talk to. My uh...companion hasn't been one for conversation for a long time. He's gone now, and I certainly wish that I'd gone with him. Not that I liked him, I mean it's not my position to like him, that's not what this is all about, but at least he was better than nothing.
Oh I don't have any misconceptions, believe me. This is where I am and no doubt this is where I'll stay for the rest of my life.
Welcome to my world.
***************************************
We don't get to see Carter much anymore.
Not since we got here.
It's takes its toll on us, and especially her.
And when we do see her, it's never enough.
Normally it's not much more than brushing past each other in the corridor when they drag us from here to there. We reach out and clutch at each other for a second, eyes checking that the other is okay, a brief smile of assurance, and then gone. Occasionally we have time for a few whispered words but they don't like us speaking, and we've learned not to push it too much. Well, okay then the others have. I guess I always did take longer to learn my lessons, especially those that amount to 'prisoners must not speak unless spoken too' I guess I made that mistake again, judging by the fact I've just woken from what I know to be unconsciousness and not sleep. And judging by the pain arcing down the left hand side of my jaw...Yep...looks like I pushed my luck and paid for it. I groan and shift on the floor, and check that all my limbs respond. Good, all four present and checking in. Last time they hit me so hard I couldn't feel my legs when I woke. Scared the hell out of me. A few hours and they eventually came back under my control, and that sure made me obedient for a while. Those guards really know their job.
"Daniel? He is awake"
I hear scuffling to my left and wearily open my eyes. A hand touches my shoulder and I follow the line of the arm to a face, a thankfully very familiar face. Daniel.
"Jack? Are you okay?"
"Daniel! Hey buddy...guess they decided to be nice and put us in the same cell today huh?"
He grabs my shoulders and attempts to haul me upright. I manage it with a groan. I stretch my aching body and grind my itchy back against the crude brick wall. Well it's good to be back. They split us up a while back cause they were convinced that Daniel and I were making plans to escape. They were right of course, so I guess we'll have to be more careful.
"What did you do this time Jack?"
Another voice sounds and I turn to face it's owner. He shakes his head and pokes at my chest with a spindly finger.
"Not much Jima, just spoke to Carter that's all. We had a nice little chat about the weather and the state of last nights TV, nothing much"
Daniel shakes his head and Jima just rolls his eyes. It's funny, this guy has only known me for about two weeks and he already gives me the same looks Daniel does when I make my jokes. Are they that bad? I mean, I know they're bad, just not that bad. I guess I miss Carter. If she were here she'd laugh, but she's not is she? I knew she shoulda pretended she was a he. Okay so they woulda seen right through it, but her face was all muddy and she has short hair and was wearing pants. Yeah right, I've worked beside her as a soldier for all this time and seen her fight and struggle and all the rest of it, and there was not a single moment when I wasn't aware that she was a woman. Mind you, I think they get looked after better than us, the women. Oh they have to work like we do, but at least she always looks kinda clean when I see her.
Most times.
"Is she okay?" Daniel asks, concern evident in his voice. Things are starting to follow a pattern here. We get dragged out, and then get dragged in. We work our bleeding fingers to the bone and once every couple of days we see Carter. We get back and ask each other the usual questions and then sleep. That's a bad sign. When things start to settle and you get used to it, I find that escape determination starts to waver a little bit. Okay so I guess there's a trade off between escape determination and knowing the place and the guards movements making it easier to get out, but we've been here over two weeks in total now, and I won't stop trying. Not ever. I stare at the ground as I think this, and Daniel grabs my fatigues.
"Is she?"
I look up, and his blue eyes are shaded with concern. Even Jima looks concerned, and he's never even met her.
"She wasn't very compus mentas when I saw her Daniel. Looked like she'd been beaten"
I look away then, and Jima puts a hand on Daniel's shoulder as his body sags. It's funny how quickly Jima has come to support us, but he just seems like that kinda guy. He's been here for over a month, and funnily enough was captured just where we were. He's a weasily little guy, and judging by his unkempt black hair, missing teeth and badly healed broken arm, he hasn't exactly been a model prisoner in his time either. I struggle more upright and take a hold of Daniel's arm. He opens his mouth to ask for details but I shake my head. I can't talk about what I saw, and hell it's not something I like to even think about.
I was being dragged 'home' from work, and as I was hauled round the corner I saw Carter being hauled down the 'womans' corridor that intersected with ours. I always look out for her cause our 'walkies' times seem to coincide, so I was craning my neck towards their cells when I saw her. A couple of guards were supporting her between us, and I could tell at once that things weren't right. She hung limply in their grasp and I could clearly see bruises on her face and exposed arms.
"Carter! Carter! Talk to me Carter! Are you okay? Sam!"
And that's the last thing I saw before my escort whacked me. I guess I knew it was coming, but I had to try and see if she would respond. She didn't. She didn't even move. Okay Jack, she can't be dead, or they wouldn't be carrying her back to her cell would they? No, so let's not even go there. But what the hell did she do to get beaten like that? Let's hope a beating is all she got. Please let that be all. I can't remember this clearly but I think maybe that her fatigues looked a bit ripped if you know what I mean. They better not have. If any of those scum so much as laid a finger on her in that way I'll kill them. I'm gonna kill them for beating her, but if they did anything else...I'll kill them. One by one if needs be.
"Jack, Daniel, the food is here!"
Jima rushes off with the other four prisoners to the food flap in the door, and Daniel comes behind me and tries to lift me to my feet. You're not allowed to have your food brought to you here, either you get it yourself or you get none at all, and you have to eat all your own food while being watched. Makes sure the working class is kept fit, weeds out the weak and useless. If you don't get up, you get no food, you get weaker. Eventually you die. But you still have to work every day. Luckily though most people die at work, but one of the guys in this cell...uh...Eanne I think his name was, he died here. He was mostly gone by the time we were put in these cells, and he lay here for days before they moved him. That affected Daniel a lot. I mean he's seen people killed and all the rest of it, but he hasn't had to sleep and eat next to a corpse before, and his eyes still often flick to that patch of straw in the corner where no-one goes.
And me? I took it all in my stride. Tough old soldier me, ex-POW. Been there, seen that, lived it Daniel. And yet somehow, I'm almost jealous of the way he is. Prison live doesn't agree with him at all. Daniel needs freedom and sunlight to thrive. And me? I guess I do thrive here. Adversity, seemingly insurmountable odds, mental and physical cruelty. Brings out the best in me. Like I say, I'm almost jealous. And Carter? Well I don't even know how she's taking this. Most of the time she seems fine, seems strong, but I wonder just how much of it is for my benefit.
I hope she's okay.
***************************************
Ugh.
The food hatch creaks open and the other women throng around it. Somehow my stomach overrides the rest of me and I clutch the wall and use it to get to my feet. By the time I approach the door the other women have moved aside, and a wooden bowl is thrust into my hands. I take it and greedily spoon the thick gluey mixture into my mouth. Not the most appetising of foods, but judging by the fact that I'm still fairly healthy, and that these women, some of whom have been here for ages, seem mostly okay, I can only assume it contains the requisite vitamins and minerals and protein to keep a work force going. I finish the food quickly, and snake a finger inside to scoop round the bottom before the bowl is snatched away and the door closed once more. I go back to my corner and settle down there sucking on my finger to extract the last molecules of nutrition, and one of the women sits by my side. It's always chat time after meals. The women here are usually pretty friendly, and I guess the feeding regime helps. If it were a free-for-all situation, then I guess things would be a little more fraught, but our position as workers seems so important that they want to make sure all of us get our daily allowance. This then of course removes any need for a violently enforced hierarchy among the prisoners, but it still gets a little tense until everyone has eaten. I don't know why, I guess there's always a chance that things could change, and everyone wants to be ready. I wonder if it's the same for the guys? Mind you, female and male hierarchies work very differently.
I've always been aware of the 'top dog' system that operates between females at a place of work, even though it's mostly a subconscious thing. When a new female arrives, she is instantly aware of who the 'top dog' is, and oblivious to any males, there then ensues a short lived 'hackles up' time, during which the women circle each other and evaluate each others status and potential, and also their right to be top dog. To men though, this must appear just like two laughing chatting women, but oh no, the underlying currents can be very complicated. Once that confrontation period is over, the women either become friends or decide to be indifferent towards each other. Occasionally this can lead to open antagonism, but thankfully friends or at least tolerance is more likely. In my case, we all got past that stage, and are also united by our prisoner status. But boy am I glad the rest of SG1 are all guys. I always did get on better with guys. Nothing to do with being a tomboy, it's just that guys tend to be easier going, not so false. And hell if they don't like you, it's clear and obvious for all to see, women on the other hand, are very different. I know a lot of women who hate at least a few of their 'friends' It's weird I admit, but that's the way we are. Fairer sex...huh...more like subtle, talk behind your back, two-faced sex.
Not that I'm immune, I guess I'm as guilty as the next woman. I know that my feelings towards Captain Lucy Hayes are not accurately portrayed in my interactions with her, but I like to think that's me being nice and putting up with her, not me being two faced. Damn her and her sparkling green eyes and her beautiful long black hair. She's a proper Irish looking beauty, I guess that's why Colonel O'Neill likes her so much. Doesn't explain why I don't like her though. I don't know, it's just something about her.
"Are you all right Sam?"
A slim and graceful hand touches my shoulder, and I turn and smile at my companion. I guess I must look a sight. Mind you, she doesn't look much like a beauty queen or anything at the moment either. Her blue eyes are puffy and red, her cheeks permanently glowing from the heat in the boiler room where she works, and her once proud frame is now lanky and swathed in rags. She looks about twice her forty years.
"I'm fine Silla, I guess they didn't like me saying no" I rearrange my fatigues, well aware of the new rips in the shoulder and arms. I guess I thought this day would come. The day when the guards didn't take me straight back to my cell, but tried a little detour first. Obviously I resisted. They pushed me about for a bit, then when I tried to run they hit me. Then I was dragged semi-conscious along the corridor.
"Did they...touch you?"
"No...just roughed me up a little. At least we're allowed to say no"
Silla shakes her head then, her face losing a little of its colour as it attempts to pale. Her fingers claw at my jacket, and the others turn to watch the rest of the conversation.
"They'll change it Sam, they'll make it so you have to say yes..."
"What do you mean?"
Silla gulps, and one of the older women, Branth, stands from her position in the far corner and walks over, her large frame cutting out some of the torch light as she advances on us. The others scurry closer, eager to hear a tale. I can tell this is one tale I'd rather not hear.
"Silla speaks the truth new one, they'll make it impossible to say no. They have to, where do you think they get all the workers from? Not many are caught, like us, most of them are bred here"
I was right. Branth says this with a sneer, but it's not meant for me, it's for them. The other women look around at each other and clutch hands. This seems like news to them as well.
"Bred?" I gasp. Branth nods slowly, and Silla joins her. The others huddle so close it's hard to see where one woman begins and another ends.
"Either the guards get you with child, or another prisoner does, it matters little to them. You have a pretty face though, in your case it might matter more"
Branth looks around the women, and they all nod at her. She moves back to the other side of the room then, and the others follow. Silla still sits by my side, watching me as I try and take this new news in. I hope we get the hell out of here soon.
"They will wait a while to make sure you are fertile and not already with child. You're not are you?"
"Uh no...no I'm not. And...then?"
"Then you will be moved. Only captured prisoners stay in these cells. Fertile women live better, and then they are paired off. You then get to live well until your child is old enough to be removed from you. Then it starts again"
Oh my God. Is that the kind of life I'd have here? To be a Goddam baby factory? Certainly not the life I'd imagined. Hell I hadn't ever really given much thought to maybe having a baby at all one day. I just assumed it would eventually happen, some time fairly far off in the future. Not this...definitely not this!
"Perhaps you will be lucky, perhaps one of your men will pick you"
"They will be allowed to choose?"
"They will be made to choose. Once they have been monitored and sorted those chosen for breeding males will choose a mate"
Silla sighs beside me and draws her knees up to her chin.
"Then I will see my husband again"
"I'm sure you will Silla, I'm sure you will"
I try and comfort Silla, but all I can think about is what lies ahead. Oh God...oh please let Daniel or the Colonel chose me! That is going to be my only way out of here! And I'd get to see one of them again. It's alright for them, they get to be together. Okay, so maybe one more female member of SG1 wouldn't be too bad. Mind you, it'd probably be that Captain Hayes...why am I so hostile to her? No...I'm not, I'm very nice to her, I just feel hostile inside. Anyway, the others. I hope the Colonel is behaving himself. The last time I saw him he was being dragged along the corridor, and it looked like he'd already been given a bit of a beating. Hopefully Daniel will keep him in line, and between the two of them they will be able to get us out of here. Not that I'm not going to try, just that there's two of them, and my companions here seem somewhat resigned to their fate. Well I won't be. I'm not staying. I wonder if they've sent teams after us? Mind you, I'm pretty sure we're not on the planet we went to, so that's not going to help. At least they'll find Teal'c, well I hope they do. He was hurt, but he was right by the gate. Either he got himself home or the others found him. I have to believe that. Maybe he saw what happened to us, maybe he saw where they took us.
Maybe he can help get us out.
***************************************
"Any change?"
"Not yet General, I'm afraid Teal'c took a bit of a pounding. It's up to his symbiote now, there's nothing I can do"
"Okay Doctor, but he has to come back to us as soon as possible"
"I know sir, but we have to let him recover in his own time"
"We may not have whatever time he needs Doctor, the rest of SG1 are no-where to be seen, and I know Teal'c would want to start looking for them as soon as possible"
"So there was no sign of where they went?"
"I'm afraid not Doctor Frasier. Their footprints went less than a hundred metres in, then back to the gate where we found Teal'c. Then they simply seemed to vanish. We're searching the planet, but we can only conclude they went, or were taken, through the stargate"
"They could be anywhere..."
"Yes they could, but we will not stop the search until we have eliminated every possible eventuality. I am not fond of pronouncing people MIA or DIA without due reason"
"Yes General"
***************************************
Uh-oh.
I hear the guards coming.
I don't like it when they come at the wrong time. For the last week everything's been like clockwork. At least I now know Carter's alright. Daniel saw her yesterday and she gave him a thumb's up and looked okay. Thank God. She seems to be coping well. I haven't seen her for almost ten days now. Not that I don't believe Daniel, just that I'd like to see her with my own eyes and convince myself. I feel guilty enough for getting us stuck here.
I glance at my watch then and yeah, the next meal isn't due for almost half an hour. I glance across at Daniel and Jima, and they have realised it as well. One of the other men yells something about the sorting, then runs to the back of the room. We all scramble to our feet, and I position myself by Daniel's side. We've finished work for today, and my hands are aching from carrying logs. I've never had so many splinters in my life. So a full and rewarding day of hard labour followed by picking slivers of wood from my hands. Not only is this planet probably covered in trees, but I get the job of carrying all of them from one room to another. Daniel got off lightly. He used to work the logs with me until one of the guards spotted him trynna read some of the writing off the walls. It seems he succeeded, as now he spends a few hours a day looking at big dusty books. Typical.
The door swings in then, and two large guards stand in the light of the sterile corridor. It's funny, when I first saw these guys I'd swear they were Jaffa, but it turns out that they're not. They don't have snakes in their guts, and as far as we can tell there are no goa'uld on the planet, not that Carter could pick up on anyway. Danny had a think on this subject, and after watching for a couple of days, he said this whole situation was ironic. It seems that the goa'uld must have been here at some point, but in their prolonged absence, some of the locals decided to play at being people who were playing at being Gods. These guys never take down their masks. Now that could be because they're broken or they can't work them, but I reckon it's cause there are some ordinary blokes under there, that probably don't look particularly scary. Instead of close fitting chain mail armour, these guys wear bulky boxy stuff to make them look big. I bet they don't have cool eye make up or gold brands neither. Impostors of impostors, it's almost too much. For a few days Danny and I tried to tell the others that these guys weren't the scary ol' snake heads, but the other guys just stared at us and we gave up. I suppose it doesn't really matter after all. Real goa'ulds or not, these guys have big guns and own the prisons, and we are just the prisoners.
"Everybody up and out!"
We do as we're told. I grumble a bit as we move out, but Daniel nudges me in the ribs and I shut up. Yeah okay, I guess we better see what's going down before I start making a scene and get myself a slap upside the head.
We're marched out down the corridor and to the left into a larger corridor that leads into one of the brightly lit wooden assembly halls that we first came to in. As we go it's my turn to nudge Danny as I see the women being led out of their corridor and also being driven towards the hall. Daniel and I try and crane our necks above the others to find Carter, but we don't see her. Her green BDU's usually stand out, but there are so many people we're probably best waiting till we get inside. The women stay separated from the men by a sort of wire fence that stretches to the roof, but once we're in there they normally let us roam about as we want, so we should get a chance to talk before we find out whatever it is we're to know, or do...or whatever. No point worrying about it till we find out.
Daniel, Jima and I move to the back of the room to make space, and the rest of the fifty or so guys are moved in. The women file in the other side, and couples and families snatch a few minutes to reunite, fingers twining through the woven wire. Suddenly I catch sight of short blonde hair. I grab Daniel's shirt and haul him towards the fence, pleased to see Carter is naturally gravitating towards us as well. Jima follows in our wake suffering from having nothing better to do. We wind our way to the fence and once there I thread my fingers through and stretch my length up against it, craning over the women on the other side.
"Carter? Carter! Over here!"
Suddenly her face appears from the crowd, and she grins and waves and makes her way over with a few women in tow. She always makes friends, even in situations like this. Well I'm glad she has someone to talk to where she is, I hate the fact that she's separated from us. I always feel protective of her. Yeah, probably too protective. God I am so glad to see with my own eyes that she's okay.
"Sir! Daniel! Are you both okay?"
"We're fine Carter, are you okay? I saw you got a beating last week"
I speak quietly when I say this, but I see no real horror reflected in her eyes. Instead she grins ruefully and shakes her head. Daniel looks concerned but she brushes it off.
"Nothing I can't handle sir. Do you know what's going on?"
"Not really, I was hoping you could shed some light on the situation"
One of Carter's companions, a broad well built woman steps close to the fence, and the other women gather around her.
"This is the sorting. All the prisoners will be sorted out, to determine what they will spend the rest of their days doing"
Carter and Daniel look at me, and the large woman holds her head high.
"Yeah? And just how do you know so much about it?"
The woman bristles and draws herself up to her full length.
"I was here when I was younger, and I managed to get free"
I press closer to the fence and stare the woman in the eye. Carter looks rather surprised at this, it's obvious she didn't know. C'mon Major, no slipping on me, you should have found this out days ago.
"And just how did you escape?" I ask, when I am interrupted by a yelling guard.
"Silence! Prepare to be sorted! If you are chosen go with the guards to your new quarters"
Disturbed for the moment I let go of the fence and face front. Carter is very skittish on the other side, and I wish I could ask her what the matter is. Maybe she knows what's going down. I raise an eyebrow at her but she just shakes her head as guards start to move among the crowd. I extend one arm and take a handful of Daniel's jacket in my fingers. I won't let them separate us. No way. I take a hold of the fence next to Carter's shoulder with my other hand and she moves so her shoulder is brushing my fingertips. I'm afraid that if they try and take her then there's nothing I can do, but I have to make some sort of point, show her that I'll try my best. She gives me a brief smile as she stands hugging herself, and the chief guard gets up on a platform at the other end of the hall.
"Prisoners for the kitchens!"
The guards move among us and single out a few individuals. Most of them chosen seem to be older and also fatter. Maybe they think these people must know how to cook. I have no idea if this is what they base their choices on, but several people are lead rather meekly off. Movement to my left attracts me and I see the large woman being led away from Carter's side. Carter places a hand on her shoulder before she goes and the woman does the same with a brief smile. Okay so maybe I misjudged her, the other women huddle close to Carter and her skinny companion now, and Carter turns to meet my questioning eyes.
"Branth said that the kitchens are a good place to be sent"
I nod and turn back to the crowd. Oh well, it looks like the kitchens have their quota. A few men have gone and most of the older woman from Sam's side as well. More guards stride among the crowd then, and a new announcer steps up to the podium.
"Prisoners for the boiler rooms"
The skinny woman by Carter whimpers and clutches her fatigues. Carter does her best to comfort the woman, but it seems obvious that this woman has just heard her fate. Sure enough, guards push past the others and haul the woman away. The guards have to push at Carter to get the woman to let go of her, and I feel anger start to swell in my throat, but as the woman is dragged off Carter gets to her feet and moves back to my side seemingly none the worse for wear. As the woman is dragged with a selection of older prisoners towards the door she screams something back at us. Carter nods at the retreating woman and I press close to the fence, my voice going mostly unheard in the commotion.
"What did she say?"
"She wants to me to look out for her husband, Eanne"
Oh. I nod at Carter and focus my attention back to the front of the hall. Both Daniel and Jima meet my eyes, but I shake my head. No point telling Carter about Eanne's fate now is there, won't make no difference. He's dead and it looks like his wife is headed the same way. Most of the people who I knew had worked in the boiler room I never saw again after a few weeks. It seems like the survival rate ain't too great there.
The selection continues, and the numbers in the hall start to fall. Most of the guards only take a few prisoners here and there, and when the guard announces that the scribes need prisoners, I grab a hold of Daniel's upper arm. That's where he's been working the last week, and it seems likely that he'll get a permanent 'job' there.
"You're not going anywhere Daniel" I hiss into his ear.
Sam presses up against the fence as the guards advance on our position. They push people out of the way and one of them spots Daniel and points. This is it. I glance around the room but my only backup is Carter. She's stretched against the wire and her eyes flick from mine to Daniel, concern evident in those sapphire depths, her frame taught with the prospect of possible action even though she knows she can't do anything. I really don't have much choice. If I try and stop them they'll just knock me out, or worse. With each successive 'misdemeanour' of mine the punishments have got steadily worse. This last one may just be one to many. I'm still mulling this over in my brain when Daniel turns to face me.
"Jack...just let me go..."
"Not gonna happen Danny"
"Look I know what I'm going to, they treat us nice there Jack, I'll be okay"
"Yeah but we probably won't be bunking together again buddy, I don't want you out of my sight"
The guard is by our side now, and a brief tug of war with Daniel as the rope ensues as he takes Daniel's other arm. The guard is starting to get annoyed, so much so that his friends starts to march over, and I feel things start to escalate. Just as the other guard approaches, Daniel yanks his arm free from me, and steps away.
"Daniel!"
"I'll be okay Jack, You just take care of yourself and try not to get into any more trouble okay? Sam? You watch him"
And with that he's led away. No goodbyes or even a 'see you later' The truth is we don't know if we ever will, and none of us wants to even think about that. I sag back against the fence as he disappears from the room, and I feel comforting fingers taking a hold of an edge of my sleeve. I turn and give Carter my best smile, and she gives me hers in return. I don't even know what to say to her, it's obvious we're gonna get split up. I pretty much know I'm gonna continue with my physical labour stuff, but what about her? What will she do? Up till now she's just been fetching and carrying with the other women, but I gather that was just temporary. I hope the guards don't take women away for their own pleasure. Looking around at the other women I realise that Sam would probably be their first choice. There are a few fairly pretty women with long dark tresses and dark eyes, but Sam with her huge gorgeous blue eyes and delicate features is by far the most beautiful woman in the room. Sure, maybe I'm biased cause she's my friend, but I still think I'm right. And I won't be able to help her. Sam knows this too, she stares straight into my eyes, and for a second I'm afraid I'll see blame there, but all I see is acceptance, and strength. Her fingers tighten on my sleeve, and I cover them with mine. The guards make a few more choices, but for a little while they leave us alone.
But I know they'll be back.
***************************************
I wish I knew how the days are split here, assuming there are still days.
I have no awareness of day nor night, and this constant flow of time is starting to affect my sanity. Oh well, another day another shekel eh? Oh dear. I believe I picked up some bad habits from my companion. Well he's silent now. Still and silent and unresponsive. Not a companion at all. Not at all...Sometimes though I fade out a little, and that oblivion is something to be looked forward to.
What kind of fate is this for one such as me? This is not the life I had become accustomed to. Maybe that's the point. Maybe this is a lesson to be learned in pain, and fire...and loneliness...
I miss the life, I miss the power...
***************************************
We've been here a couple of hours now, and it looks the 'sorting' has stopped for a break. Most of the people have sorted themselves into groups, and I sit against the fence with the Colonel leaning against me on the other side. By him sits his cell mate Jima, and a few of the other women sit by me. One of them, Alith, seems to be about my age, and she is a caring calming woman, who thankfully has managed to calm most of the others down. There's not that many women left now, about thirty, and most of us seem to be fairly young. There are about twice as many men, and some of them stalk the fence line and glare at the women on the my side. A lot of the women have moved down this end now, due to the glares the Colonel gave the men when they came near me. It's so sweet him protecting me, I mean I know it's his job and all, but I know he's making an extra effort because he knows that he really can't do anything but glare, especially once we get separated. I can tell by the set of his face that he'd like nothing more than to smack a few heads around here, but judging by the fading purple marks across his cheekbones and jaw, he already knows the consequences all to well. As do I.
"I come from a village near the water. People came through the ring and took us. It had never happened before"
"Never?" I ask Alith. It seems that quite a few of the captives here come from places that don't know how to work the stargates, and have never seen them work. The Colonel is listening to us from his side, and the constant warmth of his shoulder against mine lends me confidence and strength to carry on my seemingly pointless questioning of my fellow cell mates. I don't know if it will do any good, but information can be a powerful tool, and the more we know about our captors and their situation the better. The Colonel tried to get them to talk, but they instantly went shy when he questioned them, so the job fell to me. A lot of these women seem a little shy around men, so they must come from heavily patriarchal societies.
"No...we never knew the ring could do that, go other places, and when they came they took all the women"
The Colonel shifts next to me and his shoulder is removed from mine as he turns to face us, fingers looping through the haphazard fence. I feel suddenly cold. I guess I better get used to it. When they split us up here I might never see him again. I wonder what he's thinking about. His brown eyes are unreadable as he stares at us through the wire, brows contorted in thought, and all I can think about is is he thinking about Hayes? I don't know why this is even occurring to me. What do I care if he has a girlfriend? What do I care if she's from the SGC? What do I care if she's a scientist? I guess I just don't like change, that's all. I don't like new factors appearing in the mix. I'm sure I'd feel the same if Daniel suddenly got a new girlfriend or if Teal'c did. Well...okay if I'm honest no I probably wouldn't, but I'm not going let pointless thoughts like this interfere with getting the hell out of here. I focus back on him and find he's looking at me, then his eyes flick back to Alith.
"Why did they just take the women?" He asks, voice suddenly heavy and thick. Alith doesn't answer, and instead she looks like she's about to burst into tears. I take her in my arms to comfort her, and send the Colonel a glare for upsetting her. He looks apologetic, but any words he was about to say are interrupted by the doors opening once more. The Colonel and I instinctively get to our feet, and I place my fingers next to his on the fence. He gives my hand a brief squeeze, then puts both hands in his pockets and attempts to look macho and dangerous, which he does very well. The guards spread out around the room, and the Colonel eyes all of them with poorly disguised contempt. As their spokesman climbs the pedestal, I lean close and whisper urgently to the Colonel through the barrier.
"Sir? Don't try anything sir, it isn't worth it" His eyes snap round to find mine, and for a moment he looks almost disgusted with my suggestion. I gaze at him steadily, and he seems to accept the fact that I haven't suddenly given up or anything, I'm just being realistic. He's still looking at me with a funny expression, so I try to reassure him. I know what he's concerned for.
"I'll be okay sir. We'll get out of here"
He smiles at my insistence, and nods, his body relaxing a little as he dismisses the confrontational stance. I don't need to be looked after sir, I spent the last three years showing you I'm not a weak link. Mind you, he's probably just wondering what's going to be done with us, and has most likely guessed one of our possible fates. I haven't even thought about it, and I'm not going to either.
"Now the stock will be chosen. If you are picked you will move through to the next hall. Those not chosen will remain here as labourers"
Stock? I dread to think what that means. As in livestock? Surely they won't eat us, tell me that food isn't made from other people! As the guards move among us, I start to realise that it's not what they meant by stock. I already know what they meant, Branth told me didn't she? Sure enough, the guards pass among the men and look each one up and down, as well as checking some sort of chart. The Colonel looks calm, and he is as surprised as I am when one of the guards indicates him. He obviously thought he'd be used as labour, but no. Looks like they deem him suitable for breeding. I guess they want to breed lots of strong slaves for the next generation, and I must admit the Colonel is a very fit man, he's also tall and dare I say handsome, so maybe the guards think the women will find him a more pleasing mate. The Colonel meets my eyes, and when the guard lays a hand on him he whirls and shoves him away. No! Don't do it! I guess he doesn't know what duty he's being kept for, and doesn't want to leave me. Jima wisely keeps out of the way.
He scuffles with the guard for a few seconds and I lean into the fence and call his name. After a few tense seconds he stops and stands back, but another guard whacks him across the back of the head with a staff weapon anyway, and he falls limply and heavily to ground. The women behind me pull back at the sight of violence, but I struggle to get closer. One of the guards flips him over, keeping a boot on his chest, and the other consults the chart again. They have a short conversation, and for a moment I think they are going to change their minds, but they shrug and the first guard takes him by the wrist and drags him through to the other hall. I guess they don't want a violent insubordinate slave to breed more of the same, but for now he's through. More men are chosen, and I am straining my neck to try and see the Colonel through the other room when I am pulled roughly backwards from behind. Turning I look up into the face of the guards unfamiliar helmet, and he looks me slowly up and down. I gulp as his glowing eyes travel my body, but evidently I pass his selection process and am hauled through to the other hall.
At least the Colonel and I are still together. Today anyway.
But I can't help worrying about tomorrow...
**************************************
Ugh.
There's that feeling again. I don't know how many times I've been unconscious since We've been here, only that it's been too many. I pool my muscles and attempt to lift my head from the floor when a restraining hand pushes me back down. I panic for a second, and struggle against it, pushing the limb away.
"Sir! Just stay still for a moment!"
"Huh? Carter?"
I open one eye a crack, and sure enough I see Carter's worried face peering down at me. Albeit Carter's face from behind some ropes. Blinking, I place my palms against the floor and push up to a sitting position. The room spins for a second but it quickly fades, leaving me with a dull ache at the back of my skull. I finger the hair there, and they come away red.
"Great...why do they have to hit me so hard?"
"Because you hit them I guess. Are you okay?"
"Uh...yeah...where are we?"
I swivel round to face her and find I'm in a smaller hall, lined with wood, and there are rough mats flung on the floor. The men and women are split as before, but this time the barrier is a series of vertical and horizontal ropes embedded in the walls and floor, fastened together where they meet by fraying knots of twine. Looks like a lower security prison. I touch one of the ropes and yeah, I guess if you were determined and had real good teeth you could gnaw through a few of these babies...mind you...that'd only get you to the other side wouldn't it? And sure enough, the doors at the far end are heavy and wooden, and locked from the other side. By the far wall on each side there are troughs with fresh running water, and food hatches that look as though they are used fairly frequently. There are even little corridors that snake off to what they call toilets here. Not bad. But I can't help but feel I'm in the wrong place. Why the hell am I getting this nice treatment? Carter yeah, but me? I turn and look at the men in the room, and they all look fairly fit and healthy, some are young and athletic. Oh please tell me I'm not gonna take part in some sort of gladiator nonsense...There are about thirty men, and a quick count in the other direction tells me there's about the same number of women. Maybe we're all being singled out for some special duty. Maybe we're gonna be hand servants, all dressed up pretty in silks and the like to serve in court or something. Uh oh...I've just thought of something worse than being a gladiator, how about being a eunuch? Oh don't even go there Jack, at least it looks as though I might get to spend time with Carter, so that should take the edge of whatever my fate is. Hmm...hang on, where's Jima?
"Carter? What did they do with Jima?"
"He's back in the other hall sir, he's going to be a labourer"
"Oh...okay...so what the hell are we gonna be?"
"I'm...I'm not sure sir..."
She looks frightened. Her eyes fall away from mine and she looks at the floor. The other women from before are huddled behind her, and they clutch at each other and shiver together. I try and pull my feet under me to get up and reassure them, but it seems I was hit harder than I thought. My poorly co-ordinated limbs slip away and I fall back to the ground, bumping the tender area at the back of my head. I yelp in pain, and Sam stretches through the rope to hold me down firmly. I struggle a little, but she won't let up, and eventually I give in, and slide closer to the ropes so she can check my head. Her fingers sift gently through my hair, and she tuts with every move I make. She pulls a hankie from her pocket and dabs at my skull for a little while, then eventually she deems me fit to get up, and commands that I rise slowly. As I do so, I notice the women giggling. When I swivel round in a sitting position to talk to Carter again, she's shaking her head furiously and saying something hushed to the women.
"What's up Carter?" I ask. When she turns back to me her face is a little red, and she gives me a shy smile before brushing me off.
"Uh...nothing sir"
She folds her hanky up and slips it away, and then busies herself by arranging her legs into a more comfortable position. Oh I'm not letting this one slip Major. Tell. I take the ropes in both hands and lean close as close to her as I can get.
"Tell Major, and that's an order"
She glances back at the still giggling women, rolls her eyes a little and leans forward, speaking with a twisted mouth to show her feelings on the subject.
"They think because I'm touching you and ordering you about you're my husband or mate"
She shakes her head and grins, and I grin back. I guess the planets that these women come from don't have military, so explaining that would be fairly useless. And I guess they don't have platonic relationships and friendships between men and women either. Whether that's less advanced or more advanced I really don't know.
"Why Major, I'm flattered. Mind you, maybe it's a good thing they think so, cause I don't like the way some of those men are looking at you"
I growl a little in my throat, and turn to glare at the dark eyed man closest to me. He shuffles away and I turn back to Carter with my brows pulled low. There is definitely a different atmosphere in here, that's for sure. Most of the women sit huddling in groups, and a lot of the men have taken to stalking up and down the ropes and staring at them. I don't like it, I don't like it one little bit. Mind you, most of the women gathered around Carter seem to be fairly strong willed, and I've already seen a few of them spit at men through the fence in the other hall.
"I can look after myself sir"
"I know that Carter, I just think it'd be better if you didn't have to, don't you?"
She nods, and for a while we go back to silence. Why does she feel she always feel she has something to prove to me? Since day one she's acted like this, and yeah I guess maybe I asked for it with my attitude towards her, but she's long since proved her bravery, capability, intelligence and her excellence in general, she doesn't have to keep on doing this. Surprising myself, I speak softly.
"Sam? You no longer have anything to prove you know"
She smiles, eyes closed, and draws her knees up to her chest. She brushes a hand through her hair and sighs.
"When we're out of here and back at the SGC? The maybe I'll agree"
I shake my head and roll my eyes. The women seem to deem me less of a threat now, and they move closer to the ropes. I slide closer to Carter, and wince as the movements of my jaw make my head ache. She moves to my side and lets herself lean slightly against my shoulder. That simple touch gives me a little hope.
"I'll hold you to that Major"
When we get back to the SGC.
That's right Sam, when.
When...
***************************************
This is fascinating.
I mean I've spent the last few weeks working in a small plain room down one of the other corridors, but I had no idea they had anything like this. I have to crane my neck back to see the tops of the bookcases, and I find that if I look for too long they seem to sway, like standing under an electricity pylon. Weird. There are three of us, all men who were sent here, and it looks as though there are another ten or so people already working here. This place is amazing. A lot of the areas we've seen here appear to be of goa'uld manufacture, and this library certainly bears all the hallmarks. I don't think I've ever seen them with books though, so I can only assume this room was transformed into a library after the goa'uld left.
The door clangs shut behind us, and as we stand in our awe, a large man dressed as a Jaffa walks out from behind the large pillars at the other end of the room. The far wall seems once to have been some sort of stained glass window, but little of the exquisitely cut and coloured glass remains now, and pale bricks show through the gaps. I wonder if there was fighting here? Perhaps these people managed to drive the goa'uld away from their planet? If so, then I must try and get through to them, these people could be valuable allies if they would give up on trying to replace the tyrants they got rid of. The 'Jaffa' stalks down the book lined corridor, and as he approaches I step out in front of him.
"Ah...excuse me? I wonder if I could ask some...oof!"
I guess not. I hear his loud footsteps echo as he continues on towards the doors, and I hear them open and close before I try and get on my feet. When I finally get upright and wipe the blood from my nose, my two companions are just staring at me as if I just did a very stupid thing. I guess I did. I rearrange the glasses on my nose and thank the deities that he only backhanded me. Albeit a backhand with a wrist that was covered in chainmail, but it could have been worse. At least Jack isn't here, he would have waded in and got us all in more trouble. And we're in plenty trouble already.
A side door opens then, and all the workers assemble in the middle of the room as a portly middle aged man with whispy dark hair and a sloping jowled face steps out. I'm trying to make up my mind whether he has a friendly face or not, when his eyes darken and he gestures impatiently to us newcomers with a chubby arm swathed in layers of cream coloured robes.
"You three, over here now"
We join our fellow workers, and the man stalks up and down, looking down his flat nose at us as he seems to consider our fate. He stops in front of me and I draw an expectant breath.
"You! You know the letters?"
"Uh...well...I'm learning them...I guess I could..."
"Over there. That will be your table. You will work till the meal bell, then you will be taken to your new quarters with the others here. Go now"
I bob my head at the man, then shuffle off to the indicated table in the corner. On it are several large musty scrolls, one of which has been loosely unfurled. I sit at the desk and while my 'boss' yells at some of the others, I take a stylus and a fresh sheet of crudely pressed cream paper and arrange them in front of me with a long sigh. Looks like I won't be staying with Jack anymore. I know I'll be treated fairly well, the others look pretty well dressed and fed, and most of them seem quite happy in their work. As happy as a prisoner can be I guess. But what about Jack? And Sam? Oh I know they can take care of themselves, but Jack gets into trouble so easily, and Sam, well let's just hope they treat her with some respect. I hope those two are able to see each other regularly, and maybe formulate some sort of plan. As for me, I guess I'll be most use by actually doing my work, maybe I can find out something about our hosts, something we can use.
And what about Teal'c? I assume when we didn't come back they sent a team, and I assume they found him. I hope he's okay. He has to be okay, he's the only one who maybe saw where we went, where they took us, because I sure as hell don't know. So maybe they'll come for us, it's only been a few weeks...maybe they know we're here and they're just waiting for the right time...yeah. That must be it.
***************************************
"Teal'c?"
Again I hear that sound. It's a familiar sound, and it reaches down into my dark abyss and pulls at me, drawing me ever upwards. But I don't want to go. Not yet. Give me just a short while longer. Just a little longer. I'm not ready.
"Any change Doctor?"
"I thought he responded to me there, but he never regained consciousness"
"How is he otherwise?"
"General, his physical wounds have all but healed, it's just a matter of letting his mind decide it's okay to wake up now"
"Do you think that's going to be soon?"
"All signs point to yes sir, all his stats are back to normal for him, and his symbiote is showing increased activity over the last few days, so it could be anytime"
I think they are talking about me. Maybe I should wake up now, I don't want to cause further worry. Then they can tell me what happened and what I am doing in the infirmary. I know I am back in the SGC because I can hear the voices of General Hammond and Doctor Frasier. I must wake up. I have to know what happened to me and to the others. I have heard no speaking from O'Neill, Daniel Jackson or Major Carter, so I can only assume they are unconscious by my side.
They are here. They must be.
I will wake up.
I just need a short while longer...
***************************************
Well that was fun.
A couple of hours in the hall and we were shepherded back into our rooms. Our new rooms, and I must say it's a step up. A step up to what I don't know, but I guess it's in the right direction...I guess. Seems the whole selection and breeding thing isn't going to start for a while. Thank God. There was no way I could bring myself to tell the Colonel. Not just yet. We have to wait until they are assured we are fertile. So we were split up again. The guards came in and drove us women out, and the Colonel just nodded at me. We don't want to say goodbye, we don't want to mention those sort of things. So I was prodded out of the room by a guard, and when I looked back, he was stretched up against the ropes watching me leave. I gave him a brave smile. Braver than I feel. At least Alith is with me, someone I know. There are five of us in this room, and though it's the same size as our last cell, there are half as many people, so its not so bad. When the guards came to herd us back here, the Colonel got all protective again. I could tell even though I was leaning against his back at the time, as I felt his muscles go stiff, and his frame tense. This time I managed to stop him lashing out, as the guards told us we'd be back in here tomorrow. Whether I believe that or not it doesn't matter, as long as he doesn't get another beating. Tough though he is, if he gets pegged as a troublemaker he won't last long.
I hope Danny is okay. If he's being recruited as some sort of researcher or translator, then I guess he'll be pretty well looked after. Maybe he can find out something of use. Whether we'll see him again to find out is another story, but I won't let myself think along those lines. As for the Colonel and I, our fates are not so pleasant. He kept asking me and the other women again and again if we knew what we were here for, and I lied to him and pleaded ignorance. The other women wouldn't speak of it to a strange man, so I didn't have to worry about him finding out that way. How the hell could I tell him that? Oh by the way sir we're here to choose mates so we can breed more slaves, will you please choose me? Please? How pathetic would that sound? Yeah so of course he'd chose me, but only because I'm his team-mate. And once he did what then? Do we get to stay together? Is there a time limit within which I'm expected to get pregnant? This doesn't bare thinking about.
"Are you okay Sam?"
"I'm fine Alith, just thinking"
"What kind of name is Sam? It doesn't sound like a woman's name, and you do not dress or wear your hair like a woman"
Sigh. Alith's eyes flick from me to the woman who just spoke, and I turn to face her. I'm getting used to this sort of thing. Everywhere we go the women treat me like this. Why is your hair so short? Why do you wear the clothes of a man and so on. Either we go to planets where they think I'm acting wrongly and doing some injustice to women everywhere, or the people are way more advanced than us and treat me like a dumb child. I can't get a break. Why can't we go to a planet where the women get to kick ass like the men? I face the woman who questioned me and start to explain.
"Its short for Samantha, I dress like a man because its more practical for travelling, and I keep my hair short for the same reasons"
Alith just watches silently, and the group of three women in the corner look warily from one of us to the other as the women gets to her feet. She's big. She's taller even than me and she looks strong. She's wearing a rough shift of some crude material, but it still reveals her firm toned body. Her tanned face frames glinting brown eyes and sharp cheekbones, and she advances slowly on me, and hunkers down by Alith's side. I tense as she draws near, but her face shows more interest than belligerence. She glances round at the other women and edges a little closer, her voice a whisper.
"When they caught you, I was watching. You had weapons yes?"
"Yes, you have such weapons where you come from?"
"Yes, we have projectile weapons much like those you carried. Where do you come from?"
"Earth"
Her face falls a little.
"I have never heard of it. I come from a planet called Byrness. My name is Rosay"
She extends an arm and places her hand on my shoulder. I smile and repeat the gesture, and my grin sparks one of her own. It looks like I might have an ally, perhaps someone out there is listening to me.
Rosay and I spent the next couple of hours discussing our worlds and our situation. It's surprising how alike our to worlds are, and yet also how different. They have weapons like ours, and even a sort of electric power, but from what she tells me her planet is mostly water, and has only one small central continent, with less than a fifth of our population. It seems unlikely that they were taken to their planet by the Goa'ulds some distant time in our past as with such small numbers it is unlikely they would be able to develop a similar level of technology in the same time as us. She told me that her distant relatives claim to have been brought here from another place, and it seems likely that they were taken from Earth, or one of the other more evolved planets a comparatively few generations ago. Well this is new. She told me she has no idea who moved them, but it seems most likely it was the goa'uld. Perhaps they were trying to establish a new human community, one which they could more easily manipulate. Well that's more Danny's department, maybe he can make sense of it.
"The people with you, they are part of your Toray?"
"Uh, I don't know what a Toray is..."
"We have groups that go through the gate and visit other places, the groups are Toray's"
"Yes, we are a group, we're called SG1"
"You and the two men? The quiet thinking one and the loud strong one?"
That's as good a description as any I guess. She makes them sound like complete opposites, and I guess in some ways they are.
"Yes. The uh...loud one, Colonel O'Neill is my commanding officer, and the quiet one, Daniel, he learns about other worlds and cultures and studies them. There is another, Teal'c, but we think he got away before we were captured"
"Yes, we have similar people and roles, though my Toray are all warriors. Are you a warrior?"
"Uh yes, I guess I am, and a scientist"
"A...scientist? You know how the machines work?"
"Something like that yes"
She stops for a minute to assimilate the knowledge, and I do the same. Alith just listens quietly.
"Do you remember how you were captured Rosay?"
"We visited a new planet, and the next thing I remember is waking up here"
"Yeah...just like us. I don't remember anything"
"No-one ever does. They prefer it that way"
I guess they do. Makes it hard for anyone to find us I guess. I know they'll try, but if they don't know which planet they were taken to, then how the hell can they find us?
They will try, won't they?
***************************************
"...Can you hear me? Teal'c? Can you hear me?"
"I hear you Doctor Frasier"
"Thank God. Welcome back Teal'c. You've been unconscious for almost a month. Are you up to speaking to the General?"
I try and sit up, but Doctor Frasier pushes me down. I struggle for a moment, but my body is weak and my symbiote overburdened. I am surprised that I am still alive. I remember being severely injured. I edge open on eye, and the infirmary swings into view. Doctor Frasier is there, and as I open another eye, General Hammond appears by my side and smiles.
"Good to have you back with us son. You had us worried for a while"
A month. Doctor Frasier said a month. It has been a long time. Where are the others?
"Teal'c, can you tell us what happened on PMJ542?"
"My memories are not clear...they are mixed up"
"Teal'c, you have to do your best to remember. What happened when you stepped through the gate?"
Why can I not remember? It was a standard recon mission, this planets coordinates had just been produced by the computer program designed by Major Carter, and it was a planet on the other side of known goa'uld territory. The MALP had not revealed anything particularly interesting, but for strategic reasons we wished to find out how far goa'uld territory extended in this direction. So we went through the gate.
"Teal'c? Can you remember anything?"
We went through. The gate was in a meadow, a gentle rolling meadow of tall grasses, with forests and mountains beyond, topped with snow. We moved forward, and there on the ground were stones and symbols, and the others...the others...
"Teal'c?"
I sit upright despite the Doctor's squeal of protest, and look around me. They are not here. If they were injured they would be here. If not, they would be here to greet me as I woke. They are my friends. They are my friends. General Hammond opens his mouth to speak again but I turn to face him and silence him with a look.
"Where are the others?"
**************************************
Well I must say that for a life of indentured servitude it's proving to be rather interesting.
Don't get me wrong, I'd much rather be at a poker game with the others at home, but right now I guess I'm stuck on a strange planet reading dusty scrolls and walls and translating them onto even more dusty scrolls and walls for my captors. It's been just over a week since I was split up from the others, and my days have fallen into a regular pattern. The cells in which I am now housed are much better than before. There are five of us that share a room, and I learn as much from them as I do from my studies here. There's a strict no talking rule while we are working, but as soon as we get back to our cell we automatically start to chatter. Most of those I work with share similar interests and backgrounds to me, and naturally we tend to enjoy talking. I learned very quickly to keep my mouth shut at all other times with the threat of another slap hanging over me. The guards tend to be a little more lenient here, perhaps because we are more valuable to them. Our 'master' Jarnas, the fat man from before pretends he knows everything, but to be honest he appears largely ignorant. I'm also fairly sure that he can't read any of the many languages we've found at all, which seems rather strange. If this is their homeworld then why can't they read the writing? Of course, this may not be their world, or maybe they never learned the tongue of their captors, but this seems unlikely. Maybe I have this all wrong, but I don't think so. This whole thing is one gigantic puzzle, and I got my first piece just two days after we got here.
**************************************
We were being driven to work on our second day here, and as we moved down one of the corridors, something caught my eye. The walls of this corridor were fairly crude, and on one portion the first writing I had seen was roughly scrawled along a section that was roped off and surrounded by candles. I stopped in front of it, and Jack paused beside me, moving nervously from foot to foot by my side.
"C'mon Danny, we don't have time for sightseeing"
"Uh wait a minute Jack, this is the first writing I've seen on this world"
"So? Lotsa people write Danny boy, even me, but you know my reports aren't worth the paper they're printed on"
"It's a goa'uld dialect"
"Uh yeah Daniel, isn't that what these people are?"
Jack moves to my side to gaze at the wall, hands in his pockets, and the line of prisoners passes us by. I stare at the words and Jack rolls his eyes. I won't let him disturb me though, this could be the most important discovery we've made.
"Jack, I don't think they are goa'ulds"
"Aw come on Daniel, look at them! What makes you think they're not?"
"Because this writing looks as though it is worshipped Jack, look at the candles and the ropes, they treat it almost reverently"
"So?"
"So, it roughly translates as 'This is the day we rid ourselves of the bastard goa'uld"
Jack turns and looks at me, his eyebrows meeting his hair, and I let the implications wash over my mind. I don't get a chance to voice any thoughts as I am suddenly grabbed from behind by a large Jaffa. Well, by what we thought was a Jaffa up till now. Jack lunges to free me but another guard steps forward and knocks him down and holds him there with a booted foot on his neck. The Jaffa holds me around the neck and turns me until I'm staring into glowing eyes.
"What did you say?" He asks, voice rough and edgy. Uh-oh, how can I get in trouble just by speaking? Mind you, I've been around Jack for a while, maybe I've picked a few things up. If I'm wrong and these are Jaffa, then I just called him a bastard...oops.
"Uh..."
"You can read the sacred writing?"
"Yes...yes I can...you're not Jaffa are you?"
He drops me on the ground then, and then surprisingly extends a hand to help me up. He turns to the group of silent watching prisoners, and points at one man at the back, calling him forward. An old bearded skinny man slowly walks forward, his nervous eyes on the Jaffa, and moves to my side. The Jaffa then points at me, and the man turns to face me.
"Kalack ma reem no haljah?"
"Uh...yes...I mean sort of...uh...alma reem haljah"
The man nods, his staring watery eyes a contrast to his parchment dry face. He turns back to the guard and nods, and the guard pushes both me and the man towards a small group of prisoners off to one side. Looks like I'll no longer be hefting logs.
***************************************
And that's how I got this great job, and worked out that we're not being held by the goa'uld. We had a few go's at trying to explain to our fellow prisoners and even a few guards that we knew they weren't goa'uld or Jaffa, and that they were our enemies too, and we've spent the last few years fighting them. It was a bit of a waste of time. Our fellow prisoners ignored us, and well, the guards didn't take kindly to being accosted and questioned in this manner, and they beat up Jack, then made him work twice as long straight after. So I'm glad I changed jobs. It sure beats hefting logs. I guess they must have lots of trees here. That's the funny thing though, I have no idea what this world looks like outside. This place doesn't have any windows. We could be underground but the air here isn't pumped, it comes in through large vents suggesting that we're above ground. So why no windows? The only one I've seen is that one in the library and it's sealed. Well maybe I'll find out more, there's so much to see here.
I tip my head back and look up at the stacks of scrolls that reach to the high arched roof. This may take a while. But I can't shake the feeling that if I just keep looking, keep going, then I'll find something to help us. Something...
Anything...
***************************************
"And you know, I'm gonna be the one,
Who'll be there, when you need someone to depend on
When tomorrow comes"
When tomorrow comes - The Eurythmics
***************************************
Sometimes there are people here, I can sense them.
They come by and they come past, but they very rarely stop. I must be of little consequence to them. How amusing this twist of fate and reversal of roles. Amusing for all of one second. And the next several hundred billion seconds have been half as funny. I suppose we brought it upon ourselves, I suppose I did. Is that a hint of repentance? From me? From what I am?
No.
Never.
And yet...
***************************************
Whew. It's been a tiring week. Since we got herded back to our rooms we've been working shifting all kinds of boxes from one room to another. The boxes aren't heavy but they are very well sealed so I've had no chance to see inside. Judging by the fact that they make us carry them very carefully and the contents seem to slosh, whatever it is must be important. Perhaps some sort of liquid fuel or explosive? I would love to get the chance to open one, but even if I could I have no equipment here to test it. Maybe my brain is lacking stimulation and grabbing at straws, it's probably just their supply of wine. At least they only work us for a few hours at a time. It seems that their precious breeding stock can't be overworked. Well that's fine for now, but to be honest I enjoy the chance to stretch my legs, and when they let us out into the small woman's exercise area for a half hour after work, I always take the chance to lap the hall several times at a jog. I have to keep my level of fitness up, a chance to escape could come at any time. At least I get to see the Colonel everyday, even if it's just for a half hour. We smile and greet each other as best we can through the barrier, then we discuss our days, and that is about it. I think he knows that I'm holding back something from him, because he looks at me funny sometimes, long stares that I swear could read my mind. He hasn't asked though, and I just hope we get rescued or get out before I have to tell him.
"Sam? Why do you always run?" Asks Alith from her usual perch by the water trough.
Rosay answers for me. After watching me do this a few times she joined in. At least I have a keep fit partner. The others just look at us like were idiots, and Alith simply waits for us to finish.
"We must remain fit Alith, Sam is right. We can't allow them to weaken and break us"
I smile and nod at Rosay, and she grins back. It feels good to have a partner in crime of sorts. The three of us have formed a sort of mismatched trio. I seem to be the unofficial leader, Rosay is my aggressive and active 2IC, and Alith is our support and communications officer. She may be quiet, but the other women find her easier to deal with than us, and she can soothe any fights or difficulties with a few words. And the fights have increased. This surprised me at first, and it took me a while to figure out what they were fighting about. Eventually I had to ask Alith to tell me, and I was suitably shocked when she did.
"They fight over the men"
"What?"
"They want to be paired with a good man if it's possible. No-one wants to spend their days with a bad man who will mistreat them. For now it's just talk, but I fear that later they will fight for real"
It was weird after that, once I knew what they were talking about. They had only spent a few hours in total in that hall with the other men, but already they were discussing the pros and cons of some of the preferred suitors! Women...what are we like? Thankfully they had not yet discussed the Colonel as far as I was aware. I'm glad...I wouldn't know what to say...I wonder how he's coping. I hope he's alright. As far as I can make out he'll be worked as a labourer for the moment until they decide that we are...uh...ready...for pairing off. As long as he behaves himself he'll be okay. I don't know if he'll get to work with or see Jima again, but I hope he's made some friends of some sort, someone to plot with. Just as long as any escape plots involve me and Daniel! Glancing at my watch I realise that the men will be finished work by now and will be taken back to their rooms. This is the time I usually get to see him, but as far as I can work out every eleventh day is somehow special here. Maybe it's a religious thing. Oh we still have to work but no fun time eyeing up the men for us today. I wonder what the Colonel's thinking about? Huh...I bet he's thinking about Captain Hayes and how much he misses her. I bet he's thinking about her right now.
***************************************
I hope Carter's okay.
Ever since I've been stuck in this area of the building for the last week, I've spent most of my time thinking about her. We only spend a half-hour together everyday, and it's become pretty formal and tense, mind you that's how everyone else has been acting. The other guys seem to think that we'll get to see the women for long periods again pretty soon so I just bide my time. Not that the other guys talk to me much, they're a bit of a sullen uncommunicative lot, and they don't seem to like me very much. I bet Carter's got lots of friends. She always makes friends. I only make friends with kids or animals. What does that tell you about the kind of adult I am?
Work has changed as well. Whatever duty we've been singled out for means we have to do less work than before. This doesn't go down too well with the ordinary labourers. I waltzed back in there, laughing and wisecracking as normal on that first day back, and if looks could kill! At least Jima's still speaking to me, but that's probably because no-one else will speak to him. I've tried asking some of the other guys what my lot have been singled out for, but none of them seem inclined to talk. And when we got to leave an hour early, we were greeted with about fifty dirty looks. Something tells me I better watch my back in there.
I really don't like this. I get the distinct feeling that I'm heading for something bad and that no-one will tell me what. I also get the feeling that Carter is keeping something from me. I don't know what but sometimes when the women are whispering and the men leering she won't quite meet my eyes. And it's been getting worse. Even I've noticed a subtle change in the atmosphere in the hall, and as we file in for our after work mingle session I swear the air is charged with some indefinable tension. Shaking that feeling off I saunter to the back of the hall and spot my 2IC entering from the woman's door.
"Carter! How are you this fine evening!"
She gives me a weary wave, and her entourage follow and settle behind her as they take up our now accustomed places at the far end of the hall on a large mat we've managed to appropriate. It's amazing what a growl can get you, and I mean from both sexes. I take my apportioned food bowl from the serving hatch and splash some water on my face and through my hair before joining her. Gotta look your best for the ladies, that's what I always say. I settle down on the small segment of mat on my side of the fence and the girls settle down on theirs, and we eat. We used to eat in our cells but for the last few days they've been feeding us in here, and the time we spend here has been slowly increasing. I glance across at Carter and she's sitting quietly spooning the pale greasy mix half-heartedly into her mouth. I follow the line of her eyes and find they are staring at a blank section of wall.
"Hey Carter, not enjoying our little picnic here? Sure we could use some trees and a river maybe, and some ball equipment wouldn't go amiss but we got food and a blanket to sit on"
She turns to look at me and smiles weakly. Not good. Must try harder. I put my bowl down and lean into the ropes waggling my eyebrows furiously.
"And then after polishing off the pate we could go skinny-dipping huh?"
She laughs at that, and covers her mouth, eyes twinkling as the others behind her titter at my words. She turns and swipes at Alith who's laughing openly, and Rosay nudges her with an arm. I lean as hard as I can against the ropes and smile at all the women, letting a purring growl escape my throat. I dunno why I'm in such a good mood, but at least it makes the women giggle, and Carter moves over and pushes good naturedly against my chest. It's good to see her smile.
"I couldn't ask for more, just me and all these gorgeous women"
Carter rolls her eyes and the others smile. I've been trying my best over the last few days to make friends with them, and some of them have started to come around. I don't think they trusted me at first, and some of them were downright afraid of me. Carter's been slowly turning them around though, and God knows what she's been saying when they're in their cells, especially that morning when they all burst out laughing when we passed them in the corridor. I'm just about to ask Carter this when something hard knocks into me and I go flying. Carter shrieks my name and I scramble to my feet to see three rather large guys looking at me. Uh-oh. I instantly lower my centre of gravity and am aware of Carter pressing against the ropes as the other women move away.
"Is there a problem?" I ask.
The largest one with greasy lank hair and beady slit eyes balls his fists and stamps an impatient foot. I get the distinct impression that I'm about to be charged by an angry bull. He starts to speak, and I can just make out his strangled guttural words.
"You think you are some kind of champion? You think you deserve more than one woman? What makes you think you are better than us?"
"Calm it down buddy, I don't want any trouble" I can feel my heart start to thump slowly in my ears and I flick my eyes around the hall. The rest of the men have thankfully backed away, and all the women are huddled against the opposite wall, only Carter remains where she is. Well at least the rest aren't ganging up on me. I guess my friendliness with Carter's buddies isn't going down too well...I just got these guys jealous. What is it with these men? Again I get the distinct impression I'm missing something.
The big shaggy man stumbles towards me, and I go tense at the prospect of a little bout of fisticuffs. He's big and undoubtedly strong, but he looks slow, and obviously he's counting on using his mass against me. Well I'm pretty strong too buddy, and I'm extremely well trained. I didn't take countless falls from my hand to hand instructors to be beat by a glorified ape like you. He approaches slowly, and I let him. Carter gives me a warning whisper of 'Colonel', but I know what I'm doing. The second I feel this guy is gonna seriously threaten me I'll be out of reach in a heartbeat. Let's try and diffuse things a little first. Believe me, there's nothing more I'd like to do right now than bust a few heads, but preferably snake-heads, not fellow prisoners, no matter how narky they may be.
"Back off, I've got no argument with you"
He steps right up to me, and starts to jab at my chest with an outstretched stubby finger. I clench my jaw but don't move...yet. God and he smells...
"You get away from these women"
"Not gonna happen...why don't you go sit down"
"These women are ours, those ones and the blonde one"
Oh I don't think so. I really don't think so. He keeps on poking me and I can feel anger rising in my chest. I can practically feel the heat of Carter's stare. She doesn't like the whole 'ownership' deal, and frankly, neither do I. Neither do I. Nobody 'claims' my Major.
"I don't think so" I growl.
"Get away or we will...ahhhhhhh!"
Enough is enough. He's poked me once too many times, and when he lifts his other arm to club me I take a half step back, grab the offending poking fingers and twist his hand back and over, snapping the digits. He shrieks like a baby and drops to the ground. One of his friends steps forward and I lunge at him, punching him square in the throat before he even knows what he's going to do, and he drops limply, and lies choking and writhing on the floor. The other man backs right off, and after just standing and glaring for a moment the rest look away and get back to their business and my two would be attackers drag themselves off. If this was a saloon the pianist would begin to play again. That's the best way to handle things in this kind of situation. I don't want to waste energy and risk hurting myself by getting in a real fight, so I just incapacitated them as quickly and as easily as possible without doing any real damage. Hopefully the fact that I was able to do that should give us a little room. So they think I'm after the women? What is this all about? Carter's gonna have to answer some questions.
I turn and she's standing grasping the ropes and looking flushed. I walk over to her and she stretches her lithe frame, the distended ropes hugging her body. Hugging her body? Looks like that little rush of adrenaline has gone to my head. I shake my head and rub at my hair as I move over to reassure her, and she clutches fearfully at my jacket sleeve.
"No problem Carter. You know, I'm getting a little sick of defending women the galaxy over, next time I think you..."
"Sir!"
"What? Look Carter, I really think you should tell me what this is all about, what the hell is going on here?"
She looks over my shoulder and pushes at me, and as I spin around I see the hefty end of a staff weapon coming down, and I only have time for one thought.
Not again...
***************************************
I can see why they need so many people working here.
It may be one of the biggest libraries I've yet seen on another planet, but it's also one of the worst organised. I thought the records would at least be organised into some sort of categories, but I guess I was wrong. When I finished translating my first 'book' onto new sheets, I gave it to one of the 'runners' and they threw it through a large swing door metal hatch. After I saw a few more books go that way I waited until Jarnas went for one of his many breaks and I snuck over to the hatch. I didn't need to open it to know what it was, I could feel the heat from several feet away. They're burning the old scrolls? I can't believe they're doing that! I wouldn't be so bothered if I knew that all the records here were being transcribed and translated, but they're not. When we finish one we get to pick whichever we want to start on next, then we have to translate the first few pages and give Jarnas a brief synopsis. He humms and hah's over it for a few minutes with feigned interest and expertise, then either agrees or dismisses it with a wave of his fat hand. The records that must have been burnt...
"Tulkas? How long have you been here?"
Tulkas shuffles over from his desk and peers up at me over his small fractured glasses. He's a fairly old and frail man, and has a single minded air and determination that makes him perfect for this kind of job. God, I may well be looking at myself in 30 or 40 years.
"Almost 4 years Daniel...why?"
Four years? How many of these records have been burnt in four years? How many valuable archives have been lost in all this time? It almost doesn't bear thinking about. Jarnas only seems to be interested in documents that contain details about the Goa'uld and the days of their domination here. Anything else is dismissed and burned. I tried to question Jarnas about this, but he just shouted at me and called his pet Jaffa to chase me around a little. I get the distinct impression that the Jaffa assigned here aren't big fans of Jarnas. Mind you, no-one seems to be. This place is really weird. I mean I know we're prisoners, but even the areas out cells are in appear to be pretty high class. I can only assume due to some of the décor that this whole area used to be the palace of a goa'uld. The funny thing is I've yet to find any mention of any individual goa'uld. I guess that these records must have been made by the people here, but most likely under duress, and it seems like the people who were made to write these things were not kept in the highest regard.
"Uh, just wondering Tulkas"
"Nardra Daniel"
I wince as he tells me 'okay' in a Goa'uldish dialect. He really shouldn't do that or he's going to get into trouble. One day one of the other new workers Darna read some of it aloud to another worker in the Goa'uld dialect, and the 'Jaffa' guards were over like a shot, and they beat him to within an inch of his life. Needless to say I've pretty much learned to keep schtum on the old goa'uldish, and for once I didn't have to learn this lesson the hard way. It seems the only acceptable thing to say is what I read on the wall that time. The reason Tulkas gets away with it, is that he spoke some yesterday, and the guards instantly came over, but I managed to get them to believe that Tulkas was speaking in his own language from his own world. They bought it. It seems that although we are forbidden to speak Goa'uld, very few people can actually understand it. Jarnas can, because he bawled someone out for incorrect translation yesterday, and I guess that must be the reason no-one likes him. The guards tolerate him, and the very few personnel that come here treat him like scum. This place is becoming more and more confusing. So they really hate the Goa'uld to the point that speaking their language can get you a severe beating, and even label you as some sort of inferior, but they are practically aping them and searching the records their own people wrote and collating all the information they have on them. I don't mind saying, I'm very confused. But I can't help but feel somewhere at the heart of this all will be our way out of here. Or at least an answer.
Okay. New book. I flip the massive square bound tome open and ready my stylus for translation of the first page.
Okay...let's see...
"First the breeders must be chosen. After a period of watching the suitable males and females will be separated and prepared for the choosing..."
Hmm...this looks like another book destined for the furnace.
***************************************
Oh.
And here comes consciousness.
This is getting to be a bit tiresome. Mind you, I bet the guards think I'm getting a bit tiresome. I lie quietly with my eyes still shut and I hear chatting voices around me. Looks like I'm still in the hall though, and I guess the boys were right about us spending more time with the women. I open one eye a flicker but the bright light arcs in and it closes in reflex. Ouch. I do wish they'd stop hitting me in the back of the head or one of these days I'm not gonna wake up at all. I slowly become aware of my entire body and realise I'm lying in the standard recovery position. Thank God Carter's here to look after me. I strain my ears to see if I can hear her chatting to the women, and all of a sudden her light lilting laughter fills the air, followed closely by the deep warm laugh of a man. Where the hell am I? I thought I was in the wooden hall on this damn planet? I stretch and force my eyes open and as soon as I moan I hear voices and strong hands pull me upright. I open my eyes ready to deliver a sarcastic comment to Carter, but instead of a bright fresh face and wide concerned blue eyes, I see green eyes in a tanned, dark haired and very male face.
"Uh...who..."
I push ineffectually at his chest but a second hand on my shoulder stops me.
"Colonel? It's okay, this is Reebin, he's a friend"
'Reebin' helps me up and I manage to sit with help from the ropes. Looping my arms through I pull my legs towards me and check my head. Poor things been getting a pounding lately. Carter moves over to sit by me and gives me a smile. Moves over to sit by me? He's a friend? How many days have I been out?
"Are you okay sir? You've been out for two hours"
"Two hours? And we're still here? What'd I miss?" This last part with a side look for Reebo or whatever his name is. I was right with my earlier thoughts, Sam does make friends fast, only this wasn't the kind of friends I meant. He smiles at me, and I get a little chill up my spine. Guy has a smile like a certain Tok'ra that I won't mention.
"Not much. Reebin here was kind enough to move you over to us. He's from a world called Daerth and was captured there. He's been here a little longer than us, and he may be able to help us. Oh and here sir, I saved you some food, you missed dinner"
She pulls out a re-sealable bag from an inside pocket of her fatigue jacket and hands me it. I've always been amazed at the things she keeps in there. Let's just say she's never short of chocolate. I take it from her and hungrily eat the chunky meat and veg with my fingers. Is it my imagination or is the food getting better? She smiles a little as I eat and I stop when I realise she probably just gave me most of her dinner. I try to hand the bag back.
"Here, you have the rest. I gotta watch my girlish figure"
"It's okay sir, Reebin gave me some of his"
Oh he did did he? I tip the rest of the bag into my mouth and turn to look at this Reebo guy. He sits neatly cross-legged on the edge of our mat, and I swear he wasn't in this hall earlier. He regards me with quiet patience, almost as if he senses the questions buzzing around in my brain. Does Carter specialise in attracting caring, thoughtful, gentle, and undoubtedly smart men who instantly annoy the hell out of me? Okay so I don't know a thing about him, but he just looks the type, and I know I'm right about the attraction thing judging by the way he keeps glancing at her. I don't trust over-friendly locals, and I never have.
"So Reebo, when did you join our merry little band?"
"REEBIN used to work elsewhere and was just moved in with us today. He was brought here when you were unconscious"
I turn and look at Carter with a raised eyebrow as Alith shuffles up to sit curiously at her side. That woman seems to be fascinated by our interactions...strange woman. Maybe she is surprised by the tone in Carter's voice. As am I.
"Carter, I'm sure Reebo here can speak for himself"
She nods and sits back.
"I was moving logs until a few days ago" He says in a firmly modulated tenor.
"Oh yeah? I never saw you there"
"I broke my wrist and was in the infirmary until today"
I eye the bandage on his wrist suspiciously and screw up my face. Carter is staring directly at me and I imagine she's wearing her 'could you be a little nicer please Colonel' face. Well sorry, but you know me and my paranoia, I just find it a little odd that this guy is only here for two hours and already he's joined our select group and has claimed half of my part of the mat no less.
"Yeah? How'd ya do that?"
"Fighting a guard. He picked on one of the others"
I make an approving face despite myself and Carter makes her 'I told you so' one. Alright...he can stay for now, but no Major, you can't keep him. You definitely cannot. And by the look on her face she'd like to. But let's see if he's worth anything first okay?
"So Reebo, got any ideas how we can get out of here?"
He glances across at Carter, and she nods encouragingly. He glances around at the others then leans in close.
"I have seen the circle of stone"
Okay...so I'll let him stay a little longer.
**************************************
They are not here.
They did not come back.
They cannot be found.
I sit on the edge of my bed in the infirmary and I do not know what to do. When General Hammond told me I tried to go back to the planet but Doctor Frasier made me stay in the infirmary. They had already been back. When we did not return on schedule SG4 came through to find us, and apparently I was lying right in front of the gate, and seriously wounded. There was no sign of the others, not even footprints. All I remember was setting off into the woods to explore the planet, and then...then...blackness, and voices, and hands all over my face. And now I am here and they are missing.
They are missing.
Since then three more teams have visited the planet, but still no signs have been found. They must have gone through the gate. Someone must have taken them. I do not know why and I do not know where but I will find them, I will find my friends. I look up then as Doctor Frasier enters the room and smiles at me as she replaces her chart.
"Teal'c? How are you feeling?"
"I am fine"
"At least your symbiote seems to have recovered, how does it feel?"
I ease my hand inside to check on my symbiote, and 'junior' curls weakly around my hand. He has been through a great ordeal, but he has recovered. I was unconscious for so long as he had to heal himself before he could heal me.
"It appears to be fine"
"Do you have any idea what happened to it? Any idea how it was replaced in your 'womb'?"
"Replaced? I do not understand Doctor Frasier"
"We found particles of soil and some unidentified chemicals on your symbiote, and it appears that he was sedated. Teal'c, one of the reasons you were so weak was because we believe your symbiote was removed from you for at least several hours after you were wounded"
Removed?
Why would they remove my symbiote?
And why put it back?
"No more questions for now Teal'c, you need some more rest. Sleep, you're still very weak. We'll talk more tomorrow"
Yes...tomorrow.
***************************************
The gentle sounds of people sleeping fill the air, and I shift to find a more comfortable position. I slide across the floor to the ropes and lean into them with my back. I don't know if we're here to stay for good, but when the guards never came back everyone settled down for the night. I wonder if this means that the time of choice is getting close. Face it Sam, you're going to have to tell the Colonel soon. I sigh and let the ropes take my weight, reassured by the familiar gentle buzz of the Colonel's snoring behind me. He always swears he's never snored in his life, and Daniel and I usually just roll our eyes and exchange glances. It's actually rather a pleasant sound, just a soft rumbling reminder that the Colonel is here and he's asleep and I'm not alone. If I close my eyes I can almost imagine we're on a standard recon mission on some peaceful wooded world, staring up at the stars. I wish we were.
When the other prisoners started to settle down the Colonel and I made watch plans. Alith was as confused as ever, and Reebin doubly so, but Rosay wholeheartedly agreed. This is a new situation, sleeping here with all these people, and we both felt the need to keep an eye open. The Colonel tried half-heartedly to explain, but eventually he just curled up on the ground with his back to Reebin and I took first watch. With everything finally quiet I let my thoughts wander. In some ways I hate it when it's my watch, it's the only time I'm reminded of how lonely I am. I never think of it or notice when I'm at home, I'm always so busy. There's shopping to be done or research and tests, or hell even the world to be saved. And when we're off-world there's always something to keep me occupied, until it's my watch.
Then it all hits me.
I'm lonely.
Oh I have my team and I have my friends but still...still I feel so lonely. I'm not saying that I need to have a man in my life to feel complete, that's not it at all. Just...it would be nice. It's been so long since I went on a date, I'm sure I wouldn't know what to do. The snoring behind me shifts pace as the Colonel turns over. I know his every sleeping habit now, like I do Daniel's and Teal'c's. Sometimes when Daniel's asleep he does this cute little scampering thing. If he were a dog I'd swear he was chasing a rabbit. I wonder what I look like when I'm asleep? I probably look contended, and I bet they all think I dream circuit diagrams and equations. Well that's not what I dream about at all, there is more to my life than that you know, at least I'd like there to be. It's funny how people can know you and look at you and still not know what's underneath. I may seem fun-loving and full of life, but underneath I feel...empty a lot of the time. Empty and lonely and just a little sad. Just how the Colonel may appear gruff and caustic, but way down beneath all that he's caring and thoughtful and dare I say he's even gentle? Not to his face no, but it's true. And I guess Captain Hayes sees that too. I guess I'm glad that he's not alone anymore, not like I am. I always felt that the Colonel and I were alike in that respect, alone. And I always felt when we sat up some nights off-world we were doing something to stave that off for a little while. Together...
The Colonel's snoring stops abruptly and I lean back and smile. I just wish...ah forget that wish Sam, I just wish I had someone. Maybe not the love of my life and maybe not even the man I really want, but someone, anyone, just someone who would be there for me. Someone I could go to and rest my head on their chest, and they would wrap their arms around me and just be there, and hold me. I sigh and drop my head to my chest and suddenly I feel a warm hand on my shoulder. A warm body comes close to mine and the arm loops through the ropes and gently across my shoulders and I smile and feel myself relax.
"Don't worry Sam. I'm here"
The arm withdraws and I turn and meet gorgeous deep eyes that glitter in the dim light. He smiles gently, encouragingly, and I can't help but smile back.
"Thanks Reebin"
***************************************
"Can you remember anything at all about the mission Teal'c?"
Again the same question, and again I must give the same answer.
"I cannot. We went into the forest and then I must have been rendered unconscious"
General Hammond leans back in the firm plastic chair with a sigh, and I attempt to pull myself upright on the bed. Again Dr Frasier pushes me down. This is not right. It has been a month since we lost them, and I am still in bed. I should have recovered much quicker than this. What did they do to my symbiote? Whatever experiments they performed it has now thankfully fully recovered, and I should be close behind.
"I must return to the planet"
"You know I can't allow that Teal'c. We've sent six teams there over the last few weeks and they have all turned up empty. What makes you think you'll be able to uncover something they could not?"
"I do not know General Hammond, but perhaps if I return I may remember something I did not before"
The General sighs and glances across to Doctor Frasier. She bites her lip for a second then shrugs. The General sighs again and looks back at me.
"Okay Teal'c, we'll put you with SG6 and send them back. Are you sure you are up to it?"
"The planet holds no threats General Hammond, it is safe for me to return"
"No threats? So explain to me why you were seriously injured and the other three members of my best team are now missing in action?"
The General leans forward and stares at me, waiting for an answer.
I cannot give him one.
But I will give him a solution.
I will.
***************************************
I dunno what's going on here but I don't like it one little bit. I squeeze myself down on the mat between Reebo and Carter and shuffle closer to her. Reebo looks a little put out, but Carter smiles and leans over to straighten my cap. She's taken to looking after me, and I really don't mind. At least it keeps her hands off him.
I don't like the way those two look at each other.
When I woke up this morning they were chatting away as if they'd been at it all night. And they'd been talking when I woke to take watch in the middle of the night as well. If we didn't have this barrier between us no doubt he'd be sitting in her lap by now...easy Jack...easy. Green eyed monster creeping out is he? No, not at all! No jealousy involved here, this is just concern for a team-mate. Yeah so she's a big girl and I'm maybe a little over protective but I don't give a damn, I just don't like him. He gives me the creeps. And she deserves better than some smiling local boy who's never seen short blonde hair before. I see the way he watches her when she walks to eat or drink, and I want nothing more than to punch him in the mouth.
Easy Jack...
It's just...it's...he's just not the man for her, that's all.
She deserves someone kind, gentle, caring, loving, and really smart.
Damn...
Anyway, there IS a green eyed monster here...and his name is Reebin...
***************************************
Oh my.
I have to get out of here. I have to get them out of here. In the last two hours things have turned very bad. Well, nothing's changed but let's just say that some information has come to light. This is due to two things. One, we got a new member in our translation workforce today. A woman named Ovan arrived looking a bit the worse for wear, and two, that book I was just about to toss into the furnace suddenly became the most important book in this library.
It turns out that Ovan got ill while working elsewhere and spent a day at the infirmary. After what she will only call 'a full examination' she tried to use a Goa'uld dialect to get the guards to leave her alone and was sent down here to work with us. It seems she was no longer suitable for the role she was originally intended for. She seemed rather scared of the men here, but after a while I was able to calm her down and get her to talk, and she told me some interesting things...
"Uh...was there a woman in green there? Short blonde hair and blue eyes? Named Sam?"
She was fearful up to this point, then her eyes lit up and she nodded and smiled.
"Yes! I used to sit with Sam and Alith and Rosay and others. Sam protected us, once she kicked a man that was trying to touch me"
Okay, so Sam was okay up until yesterday, and still fighting fit by the sounds of it, that's good. I felt myself start to relax a little at that point.
"And the man is with her, the man in green who talks to us, umm...Kurnel is his name?"
"Jack! Colonel O'Neill? Oh that's good, so he's okay?"
"Yes, he was in a fight the other day and a guard hit him, but he's okay now. They are your friends? They come from the same place as you?"
"Yeah....they're my friends"
So by this point I was grinning ear to ear to hear they were okay and even better that they were together. They work so well together, each one filling in the shortcomings and expanding on the strengths of the other. Jack keeps Sam's feet on the ground and she inspires him. Opposites in a lot of ways, but you know what they say about opposites...Anyway, then she told me that they were split into sexes, and that she was glad she had been moved as something called 'the choosing' was apparently on it's way. I paused then, mouth open, clutching the book I was holding to my chest, and Ovan just looked at me curiously. Oh dear. I flipped open the book I had just finished the synopsis of, and read aloud.
"First the breeders must be chosen. After a period of watching the suitable males and females will be separated and prepared for the choosing..."
Ovan watches me as I flick through the pages aimlessly reading a few choice phrases that my eyes settle on.
'The males will choose a mate'
'The young will be nurtured and then prepared'
Jack and Sam are going to be used to breed more slaves? Is that it? Then all these complicated traditions and procedures seem a bit much. There are pages and pages detailing how long the prisoners get to spend with each other and for how long. Why not just let us all mix naturally and let things take their natural course? How on earth did they pick the breeders? I must say I'm a little hurt that I wasn't considered suitable, but that thought fades away as I see that the book is unfinished. This must be a copy, a copy that was never finished. I've come across copies before and thankfully that normally means that the original is around here somewhere. Somewhere among these hundreds of books. I get the funniest feeling that this breeding thing is about a hell of a lot more than simply assuring the next generation of slaves. I flip back to the last half-written page and my throat tightens as I read the last two lines.
'The food of the males will be prepared with supplements to increase the competition and desire to mate'
Uh-oh...Jack's got enough testosterone as it is...and then I read the last unfinished line, and I sit slowly and replace the book on my desk. Finding the original of this has just become the highest priority...
'The parasites require the highest quality of hosts to...' and it stops right there.
I have to find that book...
***************************************
I wonder if it's possible for me to go insane.
It's never occurred to me before and I wonder if that very thought and realisation of that possibility is the first sign of madness? Maybe it is, and quite frankly maybe I welcome it.
It would be a change if nothing else. Anything but just me and my increasingly worrying thoughts. Lately I've started to have a few...a few...umm...sorry I'm not too familiar with the concept...Regrets? Perhaps. Maybe there was more I should have done, maybe more places I should have gone, more orders given, more punishment meted out. Maybe.
Or maybe less. Maybe not as much.
Maybe I should have done things differently. Maybe I should have broken the mould of my forebears and...and...and what? What would I have done? Spread happiness and joy throughout the galaxy? Unlikely. Maybe I should have lived a quiet life, spent my many days on some quiet planet somewhere and tilled the land, but that's not me either. So I stay here, because I cannot leave. I suppose in a way I deserve it, or at least my predecessors do. I was not myself directly involved as I was too young at the time, but I guess direct culpability has very little to do with revenge, and I should know.
Oh look, it must be the eleventh day. Of course you understand that when I say look I don't mean it literally because I can't actually see as such, but I know they are there. That they are here.
And once more I pay for crimes that are not mine.
***************************************
I'm so glad we got to work today. It's the eleventh day, and apparently physical labour is not allowed. If you ask me its just because the people that live here are all so busy they can't afford to have all the prisoners wandering about. For some reason though they're not as worried about us women, and we were herded from the hall off to do some of the more delicate work the females are given. If I was to take a step back I'd say we were given work that requires perhaps more intelligence, but I'd never say that to the Colonel. Oh and speaking of that man, his behaviour has really been puzzling of late. I know SG1 are close, but I do wish he wasn't as protective of me when there's an interested male on the scene. Oh it's alright for him to go gallivanting off and sleep with any alien female who so much as looks in his direction, but if anyone so much as looks at me he hovers around me like an angry father. Maybe that's how he sees me, as a daughter. Yeuch...that's quite a disturbing thought, I mean know there's a few years between us and maybe he's a frustrated father but...he doesn't does he?
Wow...okay...current train of thought over. Wow.
Okay...maybe we don't get this job because we're uh...more capable, maybe we get it because being capable is all they credit us with... I guess someone somewhere thinks that women are less curious, less interested, less intelligent and less likely to understand complicated machinery and technology. Well guys, whoever you are, I'm afraid I don't fall into that category.
I stand and stare across the large vault, and I only start moving again when Rosay gives me a nudge. We've never come back this way before. We spent the day moving those canisters of liquid, and now we're in some vast cold storage area. I can't believe this place, it's huge! This hall is about one hundred metres long and half that again across. We walk in single file down the edge of the room, and periodically have to step over hoses and jets of escaping coolant. Impressive thought this place must be, it doesn't look like the denizens of this planet are very good on the upkeep side of things. And while I'm on the subject, where are said denizens? All I've seen are 'Jaffa' and a few silk clad nobles.
"Sam! What are you doing? Hurry up!"
Alith clutches at my sleeve as she stands shivering in the cold but I don't go straight away. I have to know. Large throbbing pipes run the length of the roof, and the large central vat seems to feed hundreds of smaller containers than are stacked a dozen high from floor to ceiling. What are these things? There must be something inside, something that they need to keep cool, or frozen. I edge closer to one of the containers, and when I push myself up on my toes I can see there is a frosted glass hatch on the top. I glance behind me and see that the slow trail of women have almost filed from the room. Rosay has almost reached the door and Jaffa at the other end and she glances back at me with a curious expression. Alith is still looking fretful and I can only hope that Rosay will occupy the guard for just a little longer...
"Just a second Alith..."
I push myself higher and try to haul myself to eye level with the container. I tuck my hand in the sleeve of my jacket and wipe at the built up condensation on the lid. Damn...its looks like most of the condensation is inside...Still, a little of the glass has become clear and I find a foothold and scramble upwards, coiling my fingers around some freezing pipes to steady myself. I'm just edging my eyes over the cleared area when something heavy hits me between the shoulders and then across the left side of my face and I lose my footing and fall heavily to the ground. Groggy but still conscious I manage to focus my eyes and find Rosay standing over me and trying to pull me to my feet, an angry Jaffa behind her. Damn...I almost saw it...almost...if I'd had one second more to verify what I saw, I could have sworn...
Ouch...My head hurts.
"Up Sam...please get up!" Hisses Alith, and I try and comply.
Rosay and Alith manage to get me to my feet and with a final booted shove from the Jaffa we leave the room. Ugh...they really do hit you hard around here. Oh well, at least the Colonel isn't the victim for once. Oh...the Colonel!
Damn...
I reach a hand up to scrub at my hair and it's then I realise that I've lost my cap. It must have fallen off when the guard hit me.
Sorry Colonel, I really didn't mean to lose it, but if I saw what I think I saw, then it's worth it.
***************************************
How come she's out working and we're not? Okay so I'm more bothered that I'm left here with her 'boyfriend' rather than annoyed at not getting to heft logs. I pace up and down for a while longer ignoring the glances of the other men. Reebo is off to powder his nose so I wander over to the basin with my hands jammed down into my pockets, and when I realise I'm not thirsty I wander back to the ropes. I run a restless hand through my hair and once more have to remind myself that I gave my hat to Carter to look after today. Her hair has grown a little since we got here, and I often see a little grimace of annoyance when she reaches up to tuck an errant strand behind her ear. So, being the gentleman I am I handed her over my cap when the guards started to prod them out, and made her promise to look after it. She took it with a smile and told me that it wouldn't get a scratch before slipping it on over her sleek blonde hair. A month with no shampoo and her hair and the rest of her still looks as good as ever. And me? Well I look the same whether I've spent a month in the field or a month at a health spa. Rugged, Sara used to call it.
"Are you okay Jack?"
I cringe despite myself and turn to face my new friend. I wish I'd never invited him to call me Jack, not even Carter calls me that. He walks towards me and stands regarding me with a slight frown. He looks a little awkward, and he fidgets and pulls at the collar of his rough woollen top and he shifts from foot to foot.
"Looks like you're the one with the problem Reebo"
He ignores my continuous bastardisation of his name and pushes past me to sit on the mat. I just stand there and stare down at him. It would be so very easy to kick him in the head right now, he wouldn't feel a thing, it would all be over quickly. Hell and no-one would notice with all the fighting that goes on around here, place is becoming an arena. Damn what's wrong with me? I mean I've never been one to sit quiet and suck up to someone I don't like, but I tend to manage to refrain from beating the crap out of them within a few days...I dunno...I just really want to...Yeah yeah Jack, boy saw the gate remember? Well, so he says, he assures me he knows vaguely where it is, but we need to wait until we're shifting logs for the fire into that big room by the library, he only knows where it is from there. I drag my hands from my pockets and drop to the mat as far from him as I can and twirl my food bowl on the floor. I'm just spinning it rather neatly on its side when I'm aware of Reebo turning to face me. He regards me warily for a moment as I studiously ignore him, then moves over in front of me, one hand on the ropes.
"You are in charge of Sam? Is that right?"
"I'm her commanding officer if that's what you mean" I reply, never taking my eyes from the round earthen bowl. He thinks on that for a second, then opens his mouth again. I wish he wasn't so damn chatty.
"Are you her friend as well? Or do you just work together?"
"Yeah I'm her friend, we're all friends. SG1 is a close team"
"And you travel to other planets for what, exploration? Meeting new peoples? Are your people curious?"
"Jesus Reebo, you sure ask a lot of questions" At least he's stopped asking ones about Carter...
"Umm yeah, I guess you could say our people are curious. We discovered our gate by accident like your people, and we're uh, explorers. What about you?" I have the bowl in my hands now and I'm seeing how far it can flex while gritting my teeth. Maybe I should have taken the time to ask him all this introduction stuff earlier, but to be honest he seems to prefer Carter's conversation. Don't we all...
"I assume you've had many...adventures?"
Okay, so he doesn't like talking about himself, well that's fine, I wish he wasn't so damn interested in us though.
"Yeah I guess. Got out by the skin of my teeth more times than I'd care to mention"
"And Sam? She has had many adventures?"
Now he's really beginning to annoy me. Does he want her zipcode too? Her dress size maybe? How about her starsign? If I didn't know any better I'd say he's fishing, testing the water with me. Maybe he's trying to find out how close we are, well we're real close buddy! And it's about time you backed right off! I turn and open my mouth to give him a slick put down, but when my eyes lock with his I feel a sudden curious rush of adrenaline sweeping my body, and my heart starts to pump faster as I feel my hackles rise. What is it about this guy that's bugging me so damn much?
"You have no idea the kind of things she's been through, hell, you wouldn't even understand most of them!" I say in a much louder and angrier voice than I intended. I'm suddenly aware of a few people glan