TITLE: Near yet Far

AUTHOR: Jo R.

EMAIL: Joey@Ram32.freeserve.co.uk; CksGirl_MIA@hotmail.com

CATEGORY: Angst, Action/Adventure/Drama, Romance (other/other), S/J UST, General Friendship, hints of S/J Romance.

CONTENT WARNINGS: Sam and Jack, Mature themes.

RATING: PG-15 for language and mature suggestion.

SEASON / SEQUEL: Set after season four, possibly mid-season five.

SPOILERS: Small spoilers possible for seasons one through four.

SUMMARY: What do you do when you find something you'd lost, only to find it's still out of your reach?

ARCHIVE: Yes to all of these archives: Heliopolis, SJA, Shipperworld, Tanja and Jo's fic world (http://www.angelfire.com/tv/ficworld/default.htm) and Jo's SG-1 fic index (http://www.geocities.com/Joey_r83/sgficindex.htm) Anywhere else, please ask first.

STATUS:

DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime / Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions and the brilliant cast and crew who bring them alive. No copyright infringement is intended. No money is being made. The original characters, planets, situations, and story are property of me – Yay! Not to be archived without permission. Feedback of all types welcome at either given e-mail address. The lyrics used throughout the story are not mine, no copyright infringement meant.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Mainly in 3rd person narrative though there are a few sections in 1st person POV – I think it's clear to see who's thinking/saying what in those sections.

AN 2: There were some comments made about the lack of decent characterisation in some S/J stories a while back and they've kinda stuck with me. I tried my best and that's good enough for me. I hope it's good enough for at least some of you.

DEDICATION: Little Miss, who I made listen to me ramble on and on about this for months before deciding to start it. Sorry, LM ;) Also Lynn, who read it when LM wouldn't ;) Thanks for your help and suggestions! Pepsi, just for being, simply, Pepsi.
 

~*~
" Where will I go, what will I do
It's so hard to imagine me without you
'Cause after the best, only the best will do
There'll never be another to take the place of you."
~ 'After the Best', Crystal Gayle.
~*~
Eight Months Ago.
~*~

The lights were low and soft music floated over to them from the stereo in the corner of the room. Sam Carter and Janet Fraiser, both Major's in the Air Force and Doctors in their own right, lounged together on the couch. Opened and empty bottles of wine and cartons of ice cream decorated the table in front of them, joining the stack of videos the women had watched earlier in the evening.

" That movie *never* gets old," Janet proclaimed with a dreamy smile on her lips. " I don't think I've ever watched it without getting teary-eyed at the end."

" I don't suppose Richard Gere starring in it has anything to do with your undying love for the movie, does it?" Sam responded slyly, opening one eye to gauge Janet's reaction.

Giggling girlishly, either because of the direction the conversation was heading in or because of the amount of wine that she had consumed, Janet sat up and smiled at her friend, a mischievous glint in her brown eyes. " Richard Gere doesn't do anything for me. Brad Pitt, however, is another story."

" Then why have we just watched three Richard Gere movies in a row?" Sam arched an eyebrow, looking slightly befuddled as the alcohol in her system caught up with her.

" Tonight was *your* night, Sam. A night of movies picked for you by me to cheer you up," Janet explained, sounding more than a little tipsy. " That didn't make sense, did it?" She asked in a wonder-tinged voice.

" What made you think I'd like Richard Gere over Brad Pitt?" Sam, struggling to sit up, was attempting to make sense of the conversation, suspecting she had drunk too much to make much sense of anything.

For some reason, Janet found the question to be highly amusing and started giggling again, her cheeks flushing a rosy pink colour. " I thought.." She managed to get out between bursts of laughter. " I thought.. because of the grey.." Janet covered her mouth with her hand in an attempt at muffling her giggles. With a few minutes and a curious stare from Sam, she was able to compose herself. " You know, since you go for the older man and all.."

" Excuse me?" Sam stared incredulously, fighting the deep blush she knew was rising up her cheeks. " The older man?"

" Yeah," Janet grinned and winked. " I distinctly remember you telling me that grey hair was sexy."

" No, I didn't!" Sam protested. " I *think* I said distinguished."

" Uh-huh. I believe you." The look Janet wore, however, contradicted her words. The sceptical look was soon replaced by another grin, one that was contagious as Sam found herself smiling back. Leaning in conspiratorially, even though they were the only two people in the house, Janet lowered her voice. " I think we're drunk."

Giggling but leaning in just the same, Sam whispered her reply. " I know we are. What are we gonna do about it?"

" Do we have to do anything?" Janet asked, twirling a strand of hair round her finger as she shifted and leaned against the back of the couch, closing her eyes. " We could.. you know.. talk. Since we're drunk and won't remember."

" Talk?" Sam was puzzled again. " I thought we were already talking."

" No, silly." Janet grinned but kept her eyes closed. " I meant *talk* talk. About men and stuff."

" 'Men and stuff'?" Sam repeated, imitating a child's voice before bursting into laughter again. " Geez, Janet. You make it sound like we're teenagers again, talking about something we're not supposed to."

" In a way.." Janet answered almost too quietly. " We are." She opened her eyes and looked at Sam sympathetically. " We're not supposed to be talking about Colonel O'Neill, are we?"

Becoming interested in the bottle of wine on the table in front of her, Sam lifted it up and started picking at the label, unsuccessfully trying to get her nails behind a corner of it so she could peel it off. " I didn't know that's what we were talking about," she murmured softly when she finally spoke up.

Noticing the slightly forlorn tone, Janet reached out and put a comforting hand on Sam's arm. " I'm sorry, Sam. I didn't mean to upset you."

" Don't worry about it." Forcing a smile, Sam looked up from the bottle she had been studying so intently. " It's not like you've got anything to do with it. You didn't create the regs or make me fall in lo--" Her voice trailed off and she swallowed the lump in her throat, a melancholic aura enveloping her as she realised what she had been about to say. It was the closest she'd ever come to admitting it, aloud at least. Even in the zaytark testing, both herself and the Colonel had avoided using the 'L' word, settling instead for substituting it with 'care' and 'a lot'. They both knew what they meant anyway, as did everyone else in the room.  Feeling tears of humiliation at the memories and frustration at the whole situation sting her eyes, Sam decided they needed to change the subject. Clearing her voice, she closed her eyes and let her head fall back against the couch. " I have to be up for a debriefing first thing in the morning so maybe we should call it a night.."

" Yeah, we should." Janet agreed hurriedly, having seen the emotions flitter across her friends face. " But," she added cautiously, giving Sam's arm a squeeze. " We'll finish this conversation when you get back." At Sam's surprised and slightly worried expression, Janet smiled in a manner she hoped was encouraging. " It isn't healthy for you to keep bottling this up anymore than you already have to. When you get back from your next mission, you and I are going to talk. Seriously. About everything." A look of sheer determination crossed the petite doctor's face. " No matter what our relationship in the eyes of the military, you are still my best friend and always will be. You can talk to me about anything and it won't go any further than these four walls, I promise."

" I know." Sam gave her a grateful smile, pulling one of the two comforters from the back of the couch and offering one to Janet. " Thank you." The two women shared a moment of sisterly compassion as they smiled at each other, Sam out of gratitude and Janet in understanding. " When I get back, we'll talk about everything." Closing one eye but not the other, Sam couldn't stop the mischievous grin from tugging at the corner of her mouth. " Including what a certain Doctor said to you at the bar last week that got you all flustered.."

Blushing, Janet ducked her head, her face half-concealed by her comforter. " When you get back," her promise was muffled. " But not before."

Nodding, Sam allowed her both of her eyes to close as the comforting haze of slumber descended on her. She had a feeling they would have a lot to talk about in a few days when she got back. A whole lot.

But they didn't.

They didn't talk about everything and anything when SG-1 returned from their latest mission.

They didn't talk about it because Sam didn't come back.

~*~
Present Time
~*~

It's been eight months. Eight long months since we lost her, since she was taken from us, since I let her go. Thirty-two weeks since I last saw her smile or heard the barely restrained laughter in her voice as she tried to explain something to me when I was trying purposely to make her laugh.

We've been back to P6Y331 over five times, once with the Tok'ra for backup. That's the planet she disappeared on. Called Ryvernia or something like that. Why do these places never have *normal* names like Earth, Pluto, Mars..? Anyway, no one there knows where she is, or if they do, they're not in the mood to share. Not such a big surprise considering some of the threats we – well, I – made after finding Carter gone from her quarters.

Carter. Funny how I still call her that, even in my head. Guess it's because Sam is too personal. Carter is my second in command, Sam is the woman I lo--. The woman I'm not allowed to love.

There were rumours, of course, that we heard being whispered on the planet once news spread that one of the 'strangers' – that was SG-1 at the time – had gone missing. Apparently there's a planet that the Ryvernians trade with who often use woman as a form of payment. Unfortunately, since the Ryvernians see trading people as illegal, no one will admit to taking Carter there and no one's prepared to help us out a little by giving us the planet's address. All we know is the name: Belethia.

That's why I still do this. How I keep going.

In an unofficial capacity, SG-1 and all other SG-units are to keep an eye and ear open for any news on a planet called Belethia. It's no coincidence almost every mission SG-1 has been assigned to since Carter's kidnapping has been to one of the addresses Daniel managed to get out of the Ryvernians before we left the last time.

Eight months is how long we've been searching. I know it's only a matter of time before Hammond starts assigning us to other missions and other planets.

Life has gone on, as it usually does, but it's not the same. No one who knew Carter well has been the same – Daniel, Teal'c, Cassandra, Doc. Fraiser, even General Hammond and the lab techs Carter worked with regularly. Jacob, unsurprisingly, has been suffering from his daughter's disappearance. We heard from some other Tok'ra that he's accepted some pretty danger missions since Carter vanished. Sounds a lot like me when I think about it. A lot like the way I used to have for dealing with crap like this. The way I had before I met her.

" Colonel O'Neill?" The voice has a tinge of annoyance to it, giving the impression it's not the first time my name's been mentioned. I look up to see Gardam at the door, her expression matching her tone as she frowns at me.

" Captain Gardam?" I keep my tone even, belaying no hint of what I feel, putting the framed picture I was studying down on my desk to look like I've given her my full attention. Captain Andrea Gardam, Carter's replacement as of two months ago. She's a good officer but she's no Carter. A little shorter than Carter, brunette, with a lower patience threshold for Daniel's enthusiasm, no time for Teal'c and even less time for me unless I'm giving her an order. She fits in fine with a team that resents her being there.

" I've been knocking for ten minutes," she tells me exasperated, her narrowed eyes going to the back of the picture which I move away the moment I notice she's looking at it. Oh, yeah. That's another reason she doesn't fit in with SG-1 – she doesn't seem to care Carter's gone. I heard her ask Daniel why we didn't just get over it and move on; Daniel's answer was to glare and walk away. I think she got the point. " Colonel?" She snaps, somehow realising my mind's wandering again. Maybe she asked something? " You're not listening to me, are you?"

Highly observant, Captain. " Sorry, Gardam. What were you saying?"

" I was saying," she repeats, sighing and talking slowly as though she's talking to a three year old, " that General Hammond authorised the mission to P6Y731. He also said that this is the last mission SG-1 will be going on from the list of the coordinates given to Doctor Jackson from P6Y331 because Major Carter is now officially MIA."

" What?" My outburst seems to have taken her by surprise. Her eyes widen and she takes a step backwards as I stand up, my fists clenching at my sides as I bite down on the impulse to hit something. Really hard. " General Hammond said *what*?" 'And why do you sound so smug about it?' My mind adds scornfully.

" He's calling off the search," Gardam repeats. " It's using too many resources since none of the planets we've been to are of any use to us."

" Really?" There's a dangerous edge to my voice; I know and so does she, but I don't make any effort to curb it.

" Yes." She nods and turns; opening the door I didn't realise was closed. " I'm sorry, Colonel. I know it isn't what you want to hear but it's time to face facts."

With that she leaves, and it's a good thing since the cup I was drinking cold coffee out of smashes off the door, splintering over the spot she'd been standing in only a few moments earlier.

I stop pacing behind the desk and sit down, picking up the picture once again, tracing a finger along the worn path down the face that smiles up at me.

Hope is all that's kept me going and I'll be damned if I let go of it now.

Wherever you are, Carter, we're gonna find you.

No matter how long it takes.

~*~

Two blinding suns blazed in a purple sky. All four members of SG-1 immediately reached for their sunglasses, wincing at the bright glare that was reflected off the golden sand surrounding them. Squinting through the darkened lens, Jack stared out across the horizon, his hand resting casually on his gun.

" Which way should we go?" He spoke up, glancing at Captain Gardam when no one answered, noticing the young woman seemed more interested in tilting her head towards the suns at the right angle to catch the rays than in the mission. Swallowing his annoyance because he knew at least half of his anger wasn't directed at her, he glanced at the other members of his team. " Daniel? Teal'c?"

" I'm guessing we go West, Jack," Daniel spoke up gloomily, his head low as he was unable to work up any enthusiasm for the mission, the sweltering heat contributing to the already dark mood embracing all but one of the team.

" Why'd you say that?" Jack couldn't pretend he cared, he was just doing and saying what came automatically and it was clear to them all.

" Because that's the direction this trail is going in," Daniel answered matter-of-factly, pointing down at the tracks in the sand and rummaged around in the pocket of his jacket, managing to pull out a tissue just in time. " Plus the trees," he added in between sniffling, " might give us some shelter from the suns."

" I concur with Daniel-Jackson, O'Neill," Teal'c agreed, clutching his staff weapon in one hand. " Doctor Fraiser advised us to find shade as soon as we could."

" Alright, Campers. To the trees it is." Jack started walking before he had finished speaking, his mind preoccupied. He couldn't believe this was the last chance they had, the last planet they would be permitted to search for clues to Sam's whereabouts. He had tried to talk General Hammond out of it, using the General's own relationship with Sam and her father but it hadn't worked. Although the General was evidently reluctant to label Sam as being MIA, he had already held out long, delaying the inevitable because he'd wanted to believe SG-1 would bounce back as a complete unit, just like always. Eight months was a long time to wait, though. Too long for some.

Ten minutes later, they were talking through the forest when a noise from Daniel stopped them. Jack stopped walking and turned to face the archaeologist, signing when he realised Daniel had wandered off on his own. Cutting through the undergrowth, Jack started making up the distance between them. " What have I told you about wandering off without telling anyone?" His tone was that he would use when chiding a small child but it was lost on Daniel.

" Look!" Daniel acted as though he hadn't heard Jack speak at all. " I saw something through the trees so I thought I'd take a closer look." He continued enthusiastically, pointing at something Jack couldn't see clearly because of the tree branches blocking his line of vision. " It's a civilisation! It looks like a market town, the building structures look medieval but it has a modern feel to it.. There looks like there's some sort of.. auction.. going on. We should check it out, find out what this place is called.."

" ..And see if anyone's heard of a planet called Belethia," Jack's eyes lit up as he was caught up in Daniel's excitement. His eyes scoured the city and the area around it, searching for the safest and quickest route through the trees and sand dunes, down t the sandstone buildings. " Okay. If we continue the track, we should come out over there.," he mused, pointing into the distance at where the line of trees ended. " We should be able to pick up that path and head down to the city that way. The route looks pretty well established."

Daniel agreed and the men made their way back to their two other companions. Jack told Teal'c and Gardam the plan, barely managing to keep his eagerness in check as hope mingled with adrenaline and coursed through his veins. As soon as the words were out of his mouth and both Teal'c and Gardam had nodded their agreement, one with more interest that the other, Jack was on his way again, striding through the shade of the trees, trying half-heartedly to quell his anticipation. Daniel followed just as quickly, stumbling frequently but not letting it hinder his progress too much. Behind him, Teal'c walked behind Gardam, his own steady pace silently encouraging the unenthused Captain to keep up or risk being trampled on.

It was a good day, Teal'c decided as he walked on, constantly listening for any signs of approaching danger. He was always aware of his surroundings when they were on a mission, today was no different. Today, however, he had an instinct, a gut feeling.

It was a good day. It hadn't started as one but he was strangely confident that it would be one, in the end.

 ~*~

The market was bustling with life by the time SG-1 reached it, all feeling the strain of trekking underneath the burning heat. No one looked up as they approached, apparently accustomed to the arrival of strangers, everyone instead concentrating on bartering to get the best price they could. SG-1 stood observing for a few minutes as Daniel tried to pick up the language the stall owners were using, eventually leading Jack and the other over to a dealer who seemed to be speaking English through his heavily accented voice.

" Ah, hello?" Daniel spoke once the man had finished making a deal with a customer.

The man, short and balding, turned to stare at the newcomers, his beady grey eyes travelling from one to the other as a slow grin spread across his weather-worn face. " I bid you hello, my friends, and welcome to our city!" His voice was loud, in direct contrast to all the conversations going on around them. As if sensing they wanted something, the man leaned forward with a conspiratorial smile gracing his lips, a hand patting his round stomach as though he was pondering what he could get from them in trade. " I am Machupa, anything I have that you need I will happily trade."

" I'm Daniel, this is Jack, Teal'c and Captain Gardam," Daniel introduced them one by one. " We're looking for some information. About a planet called Belethia and a.. friend.. of ours who was taken there."

Machupa's eyes seemed to light up as he cautiously glanced about him. " Ahh, you have found Belethia, my friend." He leaned in closer and nodded animatedly. " I can give you the information you seek.. but we must first leave this place. It is too open." His voice dropped a decibel. " There are those who wish to keep the ways of the city a secret to outsiders, those who trade what does not belong to them."

" Like people?" Jack arched an eyebrow, taking a step forward. " If we showed you a picture of our missing friend, could you tell us if you've seen her?"

" If you make it worth my while, yes," Machupa grinned. " Come, come." He fumbled around on his stall, closing small trunks and turning keys in locks and turned away from it, leading SG-1 to one of the small huts surrounding them. " Come to my home and we can discuss this matter further."

With little to no hesitation, the team followed Machupa into a hut, Gardam's small exclamation of disgust on entering the dark, rancid home escaping no one's attention. Machupa, however, didn't seem insulted. Instead, he seemed amused, grinning to himself as he lit some of the candles around the single-roomed house, swinging open some of the window shutters, sending billows of dust everywhere.

" Forgive me," Machupa apologised as Daniel was overwhelmed by a fit of harsh sneezes. " Belethia has many storms of sand and dust. It is why we must keep the view-holes covered when we are elsewhere. Now." He sat down heavily on one of the two padded chairs that graced the small room, releasing another cloud of dust into the air. " Please, tell me what you have that I may be interested in."

" Before we do that," Daniel started, looking at Jack for confirmation, " we need to know if you have any information we want." He slid his backpack from his shoulders to the floor, gingerly sitting on the other chair. " We're looking for this woman.." He rummaged around in his pack, searching for the photograph of SG-1 taken a year ago, the one with Sam in that he'd carried around with him since she'd been taken. " It's in here somewhere.."

Shaking his head at Daniel, Jack unbuttoned the breast pocket of his shirt and pulled out his own picture, one few knew was kept there, and held it out for Machupa to see. " We're looking for the woman on the left, the blond one."

Peering over Jack's arm at the picture, Daniel felt a ghost of a smile grace his lips. The photograph had been taken at an off-base gathering for all personnel, just a few months before Sam had disappeared. Sergeant Davis had been put in charge of taking the photos at the bar and just after one of SG-1 had been taken, something had happened - Daniel couldn't remember what, he vaguely remembered an exchange that had taken place between Jack and Teal'c – and whatever it was had made Sam giggle and Daniel, having drank a lot, found her laughter contagious and laughed so much he tripped over his own foot, which amused Jack and started him laughing, too. The picture captured the moment perfectly, Sam was obviously trying not to giggle, Teal'c was trying to help Daniel to his feet and Jack.. Daniel grinned wider at the picture. Jack had his arm around Sam – he had claimed it was to support her and stop her from joining Daniel on the floor but that was just one explanation.

" She is very beautiful," Machupa commented, something akin to recognition lighting his face. " Her colouring is rare, she would not be easily forgotten."

" Have you seen her?" Jack pressed, his fingers unconsciously tightening around the photograph though he was careful not to damage it.

" I believe I have." Machupa looked up and met Jack's hopeful eyes, his expression one of sympathy. " She means a great deal to you."

" She means a lot to us all," Daniel cut in as Jack withdrew the picture and replaced it carefully in his pocket, making sure it was secure. " Are you absolutely sure it was Sam you saw?"

Machupa nodded, his eyes grim. " I believe your friend was brought here many moon cycles ago, from the trading planet of Ryvernia." His voice grew nervous as his hand gestures became wary. " Most of us disapprove of the practise of trading possessions that do not belong to us. We have values created by our ancestors, we trade what we own. Some of us.. Some do not believe in those ways. They will do anything to gain wealth and riches, including kidnapping women such as your friend and selling them in secret transactions." Machupa sighed and shook his head, seemingly disgusted at what he was saying. " I recognise your friend as being one of those brought here by Astrone, a renowned dealer from Ryvernia."

" Astrone was the name of Ryvernian who escorted us around Ryvernia on our first visit, was it not?" Teal'c asked, an eyebrow rising.

" Yeah, it was." Jack ground his teeth together as his eyes narrowed. " Damn it, I knew he was looking at her funny!"

" You couldn't have known, Jack," Daniel murmured soothingly, turning his attention back to Machupa. " Machupa, how much information do you have on where Sam is now?"

Machupa leaned back in his chair and ran a hand over his face. " I know those who were interested in purchasing her from Astrone. I can give you the names of the places she may have been taken to."

" Just the names or the addresses as well?" Daniel was perched on the edge of his seat, his interest well and truly caught. He noticed the merchant's confusion at the term 'address' and hurriedly pulled his notepad from the pocket of his pack, scribbling down the stargate address of Belethia. " This, this is the address of your planet. Can you tell us the symbols of the places Sam might be?"

" The seven symbols, yes," Machupa nodded enthusiastically. " I can give you those and the names that belong with them."

" Excuse me." It was Gardam, her tone sharp and cool. " This is all fine and dandy but you've yet to tell us what you want in return for this information. What if your price is too high for us?"

Machupa smiled at her. " Young lady, I don't think your colleagues would list any price too high for the return of this woman. She is important to them if not to you. However," his attention returned to Daniel, Jack and Teal'c. " We have not discussed a price.." He looked from one expectant face to the other and smiled indulgently. " I will offer you this information in exchange for those eye-covers you were wearing."

" These?" Jack held up his pair of sunglasses. " All you want are our sunglasses?"

" Yes." Machupa nodded enthusiastically. " They will sell well, I think, and I can use their design to make more."

" Well.." Daniel unclipped the darkened lens from the front of his normal glasses. " I can give you this part but I need the other section to see.."

" Fine, fine," Machupa beamed and held out his hand, taking the lens from Daniel and the sunglasses Jack offered to him. Teal'c followed suit but Gardam remained with her arms crossed defiantly across her chest.

Jack crossed his arms and stared at her sternly. " Captain Gardam, give the man your sunglasses."

Gardam opened her mouth to protest but Machupa interrupted, holding up a hand. " I do not require her.. 'sunglasses'.. I would not accept them." He carefully put the others to one side. " Now, if you will lend me your paper, I will write down the seven symbols you require to find your friend."

Daniel wasted no time in handing over the notepad, watching intently as Machupa wrote down the symbols and carefully spelt out some names of the planets. It took just under ten minutes for Machupa to write down all four destinations and SG-1 were soon on their way back to the Stargate, feeling light-headed and light-hearted at the new-found information.

Teal'c led the way, with Daniel talking rapidly beside him about the possibility of finding Sam within the week. Gardam walked behind them, a permanent scowl arranging her features. Jack brought up the rear, his head spinning. They had the clue they'd wanted, the information they needed to buy a little more time. It was possible they would find Sam, it was no longer just a dream..

Something bothered him, though. He didn't think it was Gardam's determination to put a damper on their excitement, although that did anger him to some extent. He thought he knew why she did it, though. If – when – Sam was found, Gardam would no longer have a place on SG-1. Sam would be back in her rightful position, where she belonged, and Gardam would be put on another team – if she was lucky. But still.. Jack couldn't understand her complete disregard for Sam's well being, though. It was drilled into soldiers to trust and protect their colleagues – Jack, in particular, had a great sense of commitment to all those who served beside him, even those he didn't know. Gardam, however, didn't seem to care for anyone other than herself, and a good soldier, in Jack's eyes, couldn't be that self-centred

Shaking his head, Jack picked up the pace a little when he realised his thoughts were causing him to fall behind his team mates. The two suns were slowly sinking in the sky, which was turning a deeper, redder shade of purple. As Jack took the steps up to the active Stargate, he cast an appreciative glance over to the setting suns, allowing some of the tension that had plagued him earlier in the day to leave, telling himself they were one step closer to Sam.

One step closer to bringing her home.

~*~
"And where are you now, now that I need you?
Tears on my pillow wherever you go
I'll cry me a river that leads to your ocean
You never see me fall apart, In the words of a broken heart
Its just emotion that's taken me over, Caught up in sorrow, lost in my soul
But if you don't come back; Come home to me, darling.
Don't you know there's nobody left in this world to hold me tight
Don't you know there's nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight."
~ 'Emotion', Destiny's Child/Bee Gees.
~*~

~*~
Part Two
~*~
" Somewhere I know you'll be with me,
Someday in another time,
But right now you're gone,
You just vanished away,
But I'll never leave you behind."
~ 'Never Forget You', Mariah Carey
~*~

Velenthia, the grand city named after the beautiful planet. A planet famed throughout its 'sister' planets with which it traded for having wonderful blue skies, white fluffy clouds and one brightly burning golden sun. Of course, it wasn't sunshine all year round. It's weather pattern was similar to that of another planet many light years away – rain and winds and snow and sun were all common elements – but, to many of its visitors who came from planets that were either one extreme or another, it was an unusual and attractive feature that brought them back to Velenthia time and time again.

Asides from being attractive to strangers, Velenthia was also home to many; Nicholi Kavise and his family just a handful of them.

The Kavise family weren't the richest or the most respected family in Velenthia but they were happy with their position in the social circle as it stood. They were higher up than the lowest classes, above them because they had never resorted to begging or thieving and worked honourably and hard for all they had. They would never be summoned, though, to attend an audience with royalty but nor did they expect it. They weren't born with money and couldn't afford the luxuries to give them anything in common with the Lords and Ladies but they had enough to live on and were happy with their relatively simple existence.

Nicholi was the youngest of three brothers and two sisters. His siblings had all left the family home to start lives of their own throughout the city of Velenthia and in the other towns and villages scattered on the outskirts of the city. His parents were in no rush for their youngest to leave home and Nicholi was grateful to them for understanding that he wanted to earn enough money to support himself before leaving. His father had helped Nicholi find a job within the palace as on of the kitchen assistants, helping the royal cook to prepare the meals for the King and his guests.

The palace was where he'd met her, his reason for wanting to save as much money as he could. His parents saw it as a harmless infatuation, a regular occurrence in young men of nineteen life cycles. Nicholi knew better than that. The moment he'd lay his eyes on her, he knew. She was the one. And when she'd looked at him and smiled her sweet, innocent smile, he knew she felt the same.

There was only one problem with the blossoming romance: her status within Velenthia's society would not permit her to marry. Evelyn, despite being only seventeen life cycles old, was a born and bred courtesan, and because of that, her life was not her own. She, as did all courtesans of Velenthia, belonged to the King.

Courtesans were revered. Their beauty and status allowed them access to area women were usually forbidden from going such as libraries, making them the best-educated women in all of Velenthia. They were women men of all ages and walks of life desired and wanted to be seen with on their arm. Even some women – those who didn't feel threatened by them, usually the less wealthy – admired the courtesans for their beauty and wit and some envied the freedom and luxuries of the life a courtesan lived.

Until recently, courtesans of Velenthia owned the homes they lives in and chose whose offers to accept whose to refuse. That had changed after a popular and well-known courtesan was brutally murdered by a jealous lover. The Queen at the time, who had been raised from birth by a courtesan, had made the decision that something had to be done to protect all courtesans of the city and keep the business of courtesans as civilised as it could be. Even after the Queen's death, the King of Velenthia had honoured his late wife's wishes and opened the doors of the palace to the courtesans of his Kingdom, offering them safety and comfort within the walls of his home on the condition that he owned them and decided who they tended to and when.

Most courtesans had accepted the offer and those that hadn't soon found themselves out of work. Now, all courtesans worked through the palace and any new potential courtesans were 'purchased' by the King's advisors – whomever was seen to own the young woman in question would received
payment in exchange for the ownership. The young woman would be taken to the King's palace, where the King would meet her and decide whether she was fit to be a courtesan or whether she would be better suited to another position in the palace – either as a maid, a server, an assistant to the cook or an assistant to the other courtesans.. Those who were deemed unsuitable for the role of courtesan would fill any position suitable for a woman.

The new way of ruling things benefited the courtesans as they were well looked after, clothed in expensive materials in the most intricate of designs, fed with food fit for a king and given their own private chambers within the palace. Unfortunately for Nicholi and Evelyn, her being property of the King prevented them from being able to have a real relationship and made the chance of marriage very slim unless Nicholi could offer the King enough money to 'buy' her or trade something of value so that Evelyn could go free.

" Nicholi! Nicholi," it was his mother, Bernadette Kavise. Nicholi turned to find the warm face of his mother smiling down on him from the doorway to his room. A strand of mousy brown hair escaped from her braid and tickled her nose so Bernadette pushed it away from her rosy cheeks with a work-worn hand. " Your father has been calling for you, my son. You will be late if you do not depart for the palace soon."

" Thank you, Ma." Nicholi closed the book he was reading and stood, straightening his tall, thin frame. He walked over to her and leaned down to brush her cheek with his lips, their brown eyes meeting as he pulled back and she reached up to pat his olive-skinned cheek, her eyes glowing with pride. " Ma.."

" You are a fine young man, Nicholi," Bernadette told him sincerely. " You will make a fine husband one day."

" Ma.." Nicholi took her hand in his and held it. " We've talked about this.. If I marry.. *When* I marry, it'll be to Evelyn."

" Evelyn is a lovely girl, Nicholi," Bernadette soothed, " I did not say that it would not be her you marry. She will make you a good wife if you get the chance to wed."

Nicholi grinned boyishly and kissed her hand, dropping it as he walked past her casually, though with a look of determination on his face. " Not if, Ma. *When*. Evie and I will get married, even if I have to work every sun-cycle for the next ten life cycles to get there. We *will* be married."

Bernadette followed her son through the house, shaking her head. Although she had nothing against Evelyn, she knew it was unlikely her son would ever raise enough to free the young woman from the role she had been born for and although it was a mother's instinct to protect and help her young, Bernadette felt helpless that there was nothing she could do. " My son.." She leaned against the doorway of the house, watching as Nicholi turned to face her, squinting in the light of the sun. " You know if your father and I could help you, we would."

" I know, Ma." Nicholi smiled affectionately at her. " I know you and Father would help me and Evie if you could. I know she appreciates your supporting our relationship, neither of us expect anything more from you than that." He looked up at the sky, scrutinizing the position of the sun. " Father's right, I will be late."

" Cut through the forest," Bernadette advised, eager for her son to get to work on time, fearing what would happen if he was late. The last thing Nicholi needed was to loose his income and all hope he had of ever getting to be with Evelyn. " Keep to the paths!" She called after him. " And be careful!"

Nicholi's answer was to wave with one hand as he walked away from the house and into the scattering of trees that acted as a thin wall between his home and the main streets of Velenthia. Bernadette watched until he was out of sight, before turning and heading back to her kitchen where she would start to prepare the evening meal for her husband and youngest child.

~*~

No one here understands how I feel. They miss her, sure, but they can't know what it's like for me. What it's like to always be the one sitting on the sidelines, waiting for someone to bring back a little piece of new information on where she is. Always waiting. It's like a hunger, a craving. One that's never satisfied with what I get.

It's different for the rest of them, for SG-1. I know they miss her as much as I do, possibly even more, but at least they have the option of going out there and finding her. I don't. I don't have the luxury of leaving the base through the Stargate every few days, embarking on a new mission, embarking on the mission that could be the one that brings her back to us. No. I don't have that freedom. All I can do is sit in the infirmary, tend to the patients who need me, and wait.

Waiting isn't easy when it's your best friend who's missing.

Since moving to Colorado and divorcing my husband, I've made many friends, both male and female. Out of all of them, Sam was the one I got closest to, the only person I felt I could open up to and be myself around. Over four years of knowing each other, she became the best friend I've ever had, as close to me as anyone could be. We became as close as the sisters we never had.

I never realised how much I depended on her until that day when SG-1 came back, all three members looking confused and scared and Colonel O'Neill looking angry enough to kill. From what I read in Doctor Jackson's reports, he came close to it on the planet, only the intervention of Teal'c stopped him. For two months after she disappeared, we were all in denial. It wasn't until Hammond assigned Captain Gardam to the team that it sunk in that Sam was gone. For the time being, anyway. I have to believe she'll come back. I have to.

It's the little things about her that I miss the most. The ones that were unique to Sam, the ones no one else on base has or does. The way she'd come to my office after her mission debriefing so we could share gossip, with me telling Sam what she'd missed while away and with her filling me in on what had happened on her mission, giving me all the details left out from the reports, describing everything in a way that made me feel like I'd been there, helping me feel a little less left out. Only Sam understood that, only Sam realised how much I wanted to be out there exploring new worlds with them. And it was only Sam who did something to make me feel better for not being able to.

I miss the way she'd tease me mercilessly when I made a slip-up and said something I shouldn't about a patient. I miss the way I could reach for the phone at 2am in the morning – if she wasn't on a mission - and call her for a chat, knowing she wouldn't get angry with me disturbing her sleep. Knowing she would listen to whatever I had to say, give me the best advice she could and finish with something that would make me laugh and feel better about myself. I miss knowing she's always there for me when I need a second opinion, whether it's about what to wear on a girl's night out or something more serious concerning Cassandra.

Cassandra. She's been affected by this, too, and I can't really say I'm surprised. After all, Sam was the first person she connected with. There are times when I think Cassandra has two mothers – Sam, and me. Now she only has one of us and it doesn't seem like enough. To be completely happy, Cassandra needs us both. She needs me to be the Mom she lives with, the one who takes her and her friends out to places and picks them up, the one she talks to about school and trouble with her friends. Then she needs Sam, the Favourite-Aunt-come-Godmother-come-Mom. The one she talks to about boys, the one who helps her with the science and maths aspect of her homework, – unless it's biology - the one she would go to for advice when she couldn't talk to me. Every teenager should have a second 'Mom' figure in their life because there is always a time when they feel they need someone to talk to and can't go to their Moms.

I think Cassandra was hoping, as were the rest of us, that this would just be a temporary setback, another one of SG-1's infamous close calls. For about three months after Captain Gardam had been assigned to the team, we all still wanted to believe that, to think that Sam would show up one day as mysteriously as she'd disappeared. It didn't happen. Six months after Gardam took her place and we're still waiting. Well, Gardam took her place on paper, nowhere else.

" Doctor Fraiser? Janet?" I look up to find Doctor Jackson standing in the doorway to my office. " Are you okay?"

" Fine." My smile is forced and we both know it. Over the years, I've come to know Daniel quite well and vice-versa – after all, he's spent enough time in my company as a patient for us to find something to talk about. Since Sam disappeared, we've spent more time together – both just the two of us and with Cassandra and the rest of SG-1 minus Gardam. Instead of having lunch in the commissary with Sam, we have lunch together and often end up talking long into the afternoon about nothing and everything. It's nice, but it's not the same. " Just a little distracted. Was there something I could do for you..?"

" SG-1's going to be leaving in a few minutes for one of the planets on the list we got," Daniel explains, his eyes alight with excitement, something that's been absent in recent months. " I came to get some allergy tablets in case there's a lot of pollen there.. And you did say you wanted to know when we'd be leaving.."

" Yeah, I did. Thanks." I get to my feet and lead him out of my office to the main area of the infirmary. " How likely do you think it is you'll find Sam?" I ask, needing reassurance that it's not just a pipedream she'll be back someday, needing to hear someone usually capable of rational thinking tell me the truth.

" Well, there's always the chance that she'll have moved on but this is the first real lead we've had and I know how much I want it to be successful," Daniel answered, his tone thoughtful. " General Hammond's sent other teams to all of the other coordinates so we'll find out if she's there, and Machupa – that guy on Belethia – seemed pretty sure that Sam would be on one of the planets. I got the impression whoever 'bought' her was making a long-term investment."

" Here, take one of these every six hours," I say, handing him a packet of his usual tablets. Finally, we seem to have found a brand that work. I swear, that man has more allergies than anyone else I know. I look up and meet his eyes. " Good luck, Doctor Jackson. And bring her home."

He smiles at that and his fingers brush mine as he takes the packet. " If we can, we will. Jack isn't going to let any of us leave that planet if she's there until she's leaving with us."

" He's still blaming himself for letting her out of his sight?" The Colonel's tendency for self-blame and guilt is as legendry throughout the halls of the SGC as the man himself is. No one was really surprised when he made a public show of disagreeing with General Hammond over
abandoning the search.

" Yeah," Daniel sighs heavily, closing his weary eyes momentarily, allowing me the chance to study him without being noticed. There are lines on his face that weren't there months before, lines of stress and tension. Daniel, like most of us, has aged overnight. He opens his eyes, putting an end to my scrutiny and looks at me as helplessly as I feel. " He blames himself for making the same mistake he thinks he made on Simarka when she was taken, especially since he mentioned when we were there that he didn't like the way that Astrone guy was looking at her."

" If Sam couldn't have protected herself against whoever took her, I doubt Colonel O'Neill could have." A small smile tugs at my lips as I remember Sam coming to see me, furious, because someone had insinuated she couldn't look after herself as well as one of the other male members of the SGC teams could. The smile grows as I remember the solider in question coming to the infirmary a few days later because someone had broken his nose in a friendly fight in the gym. I never did get Sam to tell me whether she was the one he'd been fighting. " Wherever she is, she'll be looking after herself as well as she can."

" I know she will," Daniel murmurs, smiling slightly in return, no doubt remembering some other time Sam's proven herself. " We're counting on it."

In silence, I accompany him in the direction of the Gateroom, pausing at the stairs that led into the control room. " Have a safe trip, Daniel. And try and make sure you *all* come back, okay?"

" I will," he nods solemnly. " I promise."

I start walking up the stairs, pausing and turning when I feel eyes on my back. He smiles and waves, then walks away and out of sight until I'm up in the control room and can see him talking to Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c through the glass of the window. Captain Gardam, still very much an outsider, stands a little to the side of the three men who are looking more animated than I've seen them in a long time.

Here I am, back to waiting again. As helpless I feel, I know it's the only thing I can do. Watch the clock and wait for them to come back, praying they'll all be well and healthy and, this time, pray that they'll bring the *real* fourth member of SG-1 back with them.

" It's hard, isn't it?" The voice at my shoulder startles me and I turn to see General Hammond standing there, watching his flagship team head through the stargate. " It's at times like this I wish I could do something more, that I could go out there with them." I say nothing but nod in understanding, trying to figure out why he's telling me this. As if sensing my thoughts, General Hammond looks at me fully, his eyes troubled.  " You do good work, Doctor. What you do, it's important. Even if you can't be out there looking for her, she'll know it's what you want."

Nodding because I don't trust myself to speak, I find I have to wait a few seconds and clear my throat before attempting to return the sentiment. " Thank you, Sir. I'm sure Sam knows, wherever she is, that you don't want to give up on her, that you're doing all you can. I know.." I falter at the flash of pain in his eyes, realising how hard it is for him, losing someone he thinks of as a daughter and having no choice but to call off the search no matter how much he wants to keep going. " We all know you've done all you can, and would do the same for any of them."

It's General Hammond's turn to nod in response before he excuses himself and heads to his office. Moments later, I follow his example and head back to mine, knowing instinctively that although we're in different positions, doing different things, we're each helping in the only ways we can. Knowing we're in the same position now, both of us, back to sitting in our offices and waiting, waiting for a missing friend to come home.

~*~

" Trees, trees and more trees! What a surprise!" Jack drawled as he stepped out of the Stargate only to find the same picture he'd seen transmitted by the MALP – dozens of tall, green, leafy trees surrounding the gate.

" What were you expecting, Jack? To find the trees on the MALP telemetry were just a trick of the light?" Daniel retorted though a tolerant smile belayed the harshness of his words.

Refusing to comment, Jack shot the anthropologist a look and started surveying the area around them. " Hate to sound like a broken record but which way should we go, Campers?"

" We could split up," Daniel suggested a little timidly, not knowing how much Jack would like the idea. It hadn't been a problem when Sam had been with them but he wasn't sure how much any of them – himself, Jack and even Teal'c – would like being alone with Gardam. " That way we could cover both directions," he continued as the others looked at him. " And we could radio if we found anything or got into trouble.."

There was a short pause as Jack sighed in resignation. " Fine. Daniel and Gardam head West; Teal'c and me head East. We'll check in with each other regularly. Every forty minutes," he added, sending a sharp glance in Gardam's direction as she rolled her eyes at the order. " Everyone clear on that?"

" Yes, Sir." Gardam sent him a sweet smile, taking him by surprise as he narrowed his eyes suspiciously at her. Daniel and Teal'c mimicked the sentiment and the group went their separate ways, with Daniel looking reluctant for the first time since the missions started, sending Jack a 'thanks for nothing' glare.

" It appears Daniel-Jackson is not pleased with your decision, O'Neill," Teal'c commented as they started walking in the opposite direction to their team mates.

" Until he's in charge, he'll just have to live with it," Jack responded good-naturedly, unable to stop the small grin from curling up the corners of his mouth as he pictured the startled expression of alarm Daniel had adopted as he'd given the team his orders. " You've got to feel sorry for the guy, though. He doesn't get on brilliantly with Gardam, does he?"

" I do not believe any of us do," Teal'c replied evenly, keeping his pace slow but steady. " Captain Gardam has not yet been accepted within the SGC or SG-1. I believe it is because people see her as a replacement for Major Carter and feel resentment towards Captain Gardam for being here."

Letting the Jaffa's statement sink in, Jack walked a few steps in silence. " I don't resent Gardam," he eventually answered, his words careful. " I don't see her as a replacement for Sa-Major Carter. I could never.. I think seeing Gardam where Carter should be just reminds us all of what's missing and that's why none of us have warmed to her. Then again," he shot Teal'c a curious glance. " There is something about Gardam that.. irritates.. me. And I know Daniel feels the same way."

" Captain Gardam is not Major Carter," Teal'c stated bluntly. " She does not join us when we are not on a mission nor have we ever, as I recall, asked her to. She does not.. care.. to follow your orders without question as Major Carter did. Captain Gardam is not as dedicated to her work and her colleagues as Major Carter was."

" And then some," Jack murmured, continuing his journey through the trees. " Do you think.. You think we'll find her, Teal'c? Honestly?"

Teal'c stopped walking and started at the back of his Commanding Officer and friend. He was well aware of the Colonel's feelings towards the Major so the change of conversation and soft, serious tone of voice came as no surprise to him. What had surprised him was that it had taken this long for Jack to say anything. " I believe we will find Major Carter someday, O'Neill. She is a resourceful, strong, intelligent woman with the ability to survive in conditions a Jaffa warrior could not. If we do not find her, she will find us."

" What if she can't?" Jack asked in a low, pained voice. " What if she's already.. If something's happened to her?"

" If that were so you would know it." Teal'c approached the younger man and put a soothing hand on his shoulder. " If Major Carter were no longer alive, you would feel her absence more than you do now."

" That's a highly romantic ideal, Teal'c," Jack grinned, lightening the mood with humour though appreciation shone in his eyes. " Just wait till the guys on base here about this.. A romanticising Jaffa.."

Teal'c's lips twitched in a small smile as Jack walked ahead of him. " You are welcome, O'Neill," he spoke softly, knowing a teasing comment was as close to a 'thank you' as Jack would or could get in these circumstances. Eyeing the area around them, Teal'c continued on, following his friend, hoping he was right and that Major Carter was alive and well and waiting for them to find her.

~*~

Two minutes before check-in time, Jack's radio crackled and Daniel's familiar voice came over the airwaves. " Jack? Teal'c? Can you guys hear me? We've found a city!"

" We read you, Daniel," Jack unclipped his radio and brought it to his mouth. " Loud and clear. What's your position?"

" Umm." Daniel paused and for a moment Jack was deafened by static. " We're.. umm.. about one and a half miles West of the Stargate. Jack, this place is amazing! It looks like 15th century Europe! The style of the buildings and from what we can see, the clothing.. It's amazing! You should see this place!"

Shaking his head at the enthusiasm he could hear in Daniel's voice, Jack couldn't help but smile, having missed the sound of a hyperactive archaeologist no matter how much he'd deny it in a court of law. " We will, Daniel, but look up for a minute, will ya? We need to find some shelter."

For the first time since arriving on the outskirts of the magnificent city, both Daniel and Gardam tore their eyes away from the beautiful buildings and up to the sky, seeing the threatening black clouds looming above of them.

" We could try and find someone in the city who'll give us a place to stay.." Daniel suggested, speaking into the radio in his hand.

" If I may.." The voice, unfamiliar but gentle, took Daniel by surprise, making him jump and drop his radio. He turned to find an olive-skinned young boy with bright eyes smiling at him warmly. " I did not mean to startle you, forgive me."

" That's.. okay.. Yeah. It's okay," Daniel murmured, bending to pick up the dropped radio as Gardam approached the newcomer, watching him warily.

" Who are you?" Gardam demanded, her eyes narrowing as she took in the peasant style of his clothing, tightening her grip on her gun as she wondered if he was some sort of thief.

The stranger once again smiled and bowed slightly. " My name is Nicholi, I live here in Velenthia. If you need shelter from the storm, my family would gladly offer it."

" Daniel? Doctor Jackson?" The voice emitted from the radio in Daniel's hand and startled Nicholi as he took a step back. " Are you reading me?"

" I'm here, Jack," Daniel answered hurriedly; giving the young boy what he hoped was a reassuring smile. " Just got startled for a moment there. Looks like we've made a friend. I'll get back to you in a minute." With that, he turned the radio off and focused on Nicholi. " I'm Daniel Jackson, this is Captain Gardam." He broke off as the first drops of rain started falling, large and heavy, knowing they would all be drenched within a matter of minutes. " We have two other companions, in the woods. Would your family be able to offer shelter to them too?"

" Of course," Nicholi looked proud. " My home is through the woods, we can join your companions on the way. We must past the Stargate to get to my house."

" Thank you." Daniel nodded and lifted the radio again, shivering as a drop of rain made it's way down his neck. " Jack? Teal'c? You guys still getting this?"

Crackling was what he heard for a few brief seconds and then Jack's voice, slightly distorted by interference from the storm brewing above. " We read you. What's going on?"

" I think we've found a place to stay for the night," Daniel answered, raising his voice to be heard over the sounds of static. " Stay where you are or head back to the Gate. We have to go past the Gate to get to.. er.. Nicholi's house."

" Nicholi?" Jack repeated. Daniel could hear the sounds of a muffled conversation between Jack and Teal'c and then heard Jack sigh. " We'll head back to the Gate now. Be careful."

Knowing Jack couldn't see him, Daniel rolled his eyes and nodded. " We will. Over and out." As the radio in his hand fell silent, he clipped it back in place and turned to Nicholi. " Please, lead the way."

Nicholi once again bowed slightly and started walking hurriedly through the trees, the leaves of which offered a small amount of shelter from the heavily falling rain. " My parents will welcome you and your friends," he said, answering the unasked question in Daniel's mind. " There is plenty of room in our home since my brothers and sisters left."

They walked hastily through the rain in silence for a while, the only sounds being that of the raindrops hitting the leaves on the way down. It was Captain Gardam who voiced the other question on Daniel's mind, the woman having to shout to be heard over the winds that were rapidly increasing in strength and volume. " Have your people always called the Stargate a Stargate?"

Nicholi turned his head slightly towards them without changing his speed, a fond smile on his face as he answered the question. " Our people call it a Ring of Stone. A friend who arrived here a few moon-cycles ago calls it a Stargate."

Before Daniel or Gardam could pursue the topic further, they met up with an equally drenched Jack and Teal'c. " This your friend, Daniel?" Jack called out above the rain and winds.

" This is Nicholi, he's taking us to his home. Nicholi, this is Colonel Jack O'Neill and Teal'c, our companions." The introductions were made whilst the five-some continued almost running through the rain. Nicholi just smiled and nodded in acknowledgment, picking up the pace, knowing his mother would be worried about him.

Twenty minutes later, five soaked people arrived at a medium sized house placed in the middle of nowhere. Bernadette Kavise asked no questions about the four extra people who graced her with their presence, instead ushering them all into her home and away from the storm, relieved her son was home safely and unable to find it in her heart to deny his new found companions warmth and shelter.

Brief introductions were made as Bernadette and her husband, Torin, found dry clothes for the strangers to wear and shared what little food they had prepared between the seven of them. After Bernadette was satisfied her guests were taken care of, she showed them to their rooms and bid them a goodnight. SG-1, though slightly taken back by the generosity and lack of questions, weren't going to object, each of them finding comfort on the soft beds they were given, all but two of them drifting to sleep immediately.

Teal'c practised Kel'No'Reem as Jack paced the small space of his room. He eventually ended up sitting by the window, staring out at the blurred world through the rain-streaked glass, wondering if this was it, if this was where she was. Wondering if she was out there, somewhere.

~*~

Rain. Pounding rain. Not the soft, warm kind often found during the summer months on Earth. Not the kind you can stand outside in and dance with loved ones when you're young or carefree. Cold, harsh, bitter, unrelenting rain.

That was the first thing she'd noticed about her new home. Compared to the heat of Belethia, however, the first planet she'd found herself on, the rain was a welcome respite. It was strangely comforting, in a way, as it pounded on the thin glass pane of the window, driven by the fierce wind that accompanied it. On nights like this, if she was permitted, she would lie on her soft mattress, face turned towards the window, the only light in the room being emitted from the open fire in the ornate fireplace.

She closed her eyes on nights like this, listening to the rain, the warmth of the fire soothing on her skin as she lay atop the blankets, and dreamt of home.

Home.

A place she hadn't been in months. A distant fantasy she had no hope of ever returning to. A far-off land that hadn't seemed so wonderful at the time but one that was home not only to herself but to the owners of the faces she saw every night in her dreams.

She'd never truly appreciated it before.

Never thought about its simple, natural, untouched beauty nor the wonderments created by her own people through time. She'd never realised how civilised life was there, how.. open-minded the people were. How fair it was. Sure, if you were female, you had to work a little harder in some professional fields. The same could have been said for men in some professions.. But at least at home you had the opportunity. You had the chance.

Here, she didn't. Her new planet – it would never be home – was so different. Her status was different. It was, in many ways, one she would have deemed immoral, demeaning and wholly unsuitable for he if she were home. Her status here was similar to an occupation back home she had never and would have never considered. A profession parts of society stated as being bad, repulsive, dirty.. a way out for the desperate.

Here, it was different. Almost the opposite.

Her position was one that earned her respect, one that saved her life. It was a way of life she would be spurned by some people for having adopted if she was home. Here, it was the only way of life left open to her, the only professions available to a woman.. She either embraced her career and adopted the lifestyle.. or she died.

Death was not an option she would consider.

It had been a struggle at first; between her pride, her morals and her survival. On one hand, it had been drilled into her from an early age to do whatever necessary to live, to survive in a dangerous situation. On the other.. the old her saw the option that would allow her to live as being one that would compromise her integrity.

The old her and her sense of strict integrity died as her desire to survive won out.

She was surprised pleasantly to have retained her sense of self-respect. She didn't exactly enjoy her new life but she didn't hate it. She resented being put in the position of having no real choice but she accepted her fate and knew she would do whatever necessary to live.

To live meant to dream.

To dream meant to think of home.

Home was where she longed to be, with people she longed would find her. The dream faded in daylight and on occasions when her services were required.. but here, at night, in her own private room, she was free to lie alone on her bed and indulge in the fantasy of what might have been.

With no sign of stopping or slowing, the rain continued to be her friend, tapping on the window, taking her back to the world she'd been taken from, allowing her entrance to her dream-created illusion. The place she could hope.

The hope giving her a reason to go on.

~*~
" Staring out the window at the sinking sun
Another painful day is done.
If I could convince myself I was over you now
I'd find a way to go on somehow."
~ 'The Healing Kind', LeeAnn Womack
~*~

~*~
 Part Three
~*~
"In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the skies
In my heart there'll always be a place for you, for all my life
I'll keep a part of you with me. And everywhere I am there you'll be."
'There You'll Be', Faith Hill.
~*~

Groaning, Jack winced at the sharp twang of pain he felt as he tried to sit up straight in his chair. " Note to self," he murmured aloud. " Don't fall asleep in uncomfortable chairs." Biting back a hiss of pain, he forced himself up and out of the chair, stretching gingerly to relieve himself of all the kinks he'd gained from sleeping awkwardly.

After staring sightlessly out of the window for God knows how many hours, Jack had eventually fallen into a deep sleep disturbed only by his dreams. He wasn't surprised to find he dreamt about Sam – he usually did – but the more he dreamt about her, the more he felt to blame for her absence. Before she'd been taken from them, his dreams about her were.. pleasant, to say the least. Since she'd gone, they'd taken on a disturbing quality. Last nights dreams were no different to al the others.

It started in the same way; Sam would be sitting at the window of the same, tall ornately decorated building he'd seen before, he would be outside at the bottom of the structure calling out her name. She never heard him, though, and no matter how many times he walked about the perimeter of the building, he couldn't find a door or any other way in. Then Daniel and Teal'c would show up and tell him it was his fault, that he'd let her go and that he was the reason she couldn't come back. He ignored them and kept trying to get to her, hitting and kicking the wall, eventually trying to climb up it. He'd get so far only to fall down and have to start again and this would happen over and over again until the last time, when he'd make it to the window, call out her name.. and then he'd wake up.

Changing quickly from the clothes given to him by the Kavise family, Jack put on his own clothes and made his way to the small washroom he'd been shown to the previous evening. On his way back to his room, he bumped into Captain Gardam, who had also changed into her own clothes.

" Captain."

" Colonel." She met his gaze evenly, running a casual hand through her sleep-mused hair. " Did you sleep well?"

" Fine." Jack answered shortly, her attempt at an interested tone sounding more insincere than genuine. He couldn't help but feel she was up to something and he couldn't think what it would be. The way she was looking at him was disconcerting so he decided to take his leave as soon as he could. " Ah, if you'll excuse me, Captain. I need to talk to Doctor Jackson."

" Oh." Gardam looked a little disappointed as she stepped out of his way. " Well. See you at breakfast, Sir."

" Yeah. See you." Frowning, Jack brushed past her and moved down the hallway, knocking on one of the doors before disappearing inside.

Gardam watched him go through narrowed eyes. Over the course of the night, she'd been thinking. Thinking about her positions on SG-1 and at the SGC and how that would change if her team mates got their wish and Major Carter was found. Gardam was just a solider, she didn't have Major Carter's scientific background. She hadn't taken to her team mates and they hadn't taken to her. She hadn't made an effort to get to know them, nor had she mad much of an effort to make them want to get to know her. She hadn't been the friendliest of people to anyone since getting her new assignment. She knew, without a doubt, that if given the choice, Colonel O'Neill and the others would choose Major Carter over her. If this was the planet, if this was the day they found her.. Time for Andrea Gardam was running out. Depending on how lucky her fellow team mates were, she might only have twenty four hours to win them over and convince them she was the best woman for the job. Determined not to be bumped from the team, Gardam was going to have to have a complete turn around if she wanted to stay.

Smiling to herself, she sauntered into the washroom, closed the door and gazed at her reflection in the mirror. She was a relatively attractive woman and had been told she could charm and flirt her way out of any situation if she tried. Colonel O'Neill and the other unwitting members of SG-1 were going to help her discover if that were true.

~*~

Sunlight streamed through the uncovered window and the woman asleep on the bed stirred as a cool breeze washed over her skin. Stretching languidly, Sam opened one eye and took in the familiar appearance of her room, quenching the small twinge of sadness she felt at being here instead of home. It was the same every morning – she woke up hoping the last however many months had been a dream.

Sam had lost count of how many Earth months she'd been gone, the calendar system of moon-cycles on Velenthia was different to Earth's – sometimes the moon-cycles were longer than Earth's months, other times they were shorter. Not that it mattered anyway, on Belethia she'd had no way of keeping track of the time as it was constantly warm and light so she couldn't tell whether it was night or day most of the time.

Ordering herself out of bed, Sam swung her legs over the side of the bed and pushed herself to her feet. She stretched again, lifting her arms above her head and bringing them down to push her hair from her face before lowering her hands to straighten her thin nightdress. Although she had grown accustomed to wearing the flimsy gown, she still longed for the days when she could curl up in her tank top and cotton sweat pants.

Padding barefoot across the soft floor, Sam swung open one of the windows and closed her eyes. The cool air floated over her as she inhaled the fresh scent of the newly fallen rain drying in the morning's sunlight. She smiled on hearing the sounds from outside the palace's seclusion infiltrate her senses, hearing the sweet chirps of the birds and the friendly hum of voices in the city's streets.

" Samantha?" The timid voice followed a gentle knock. " Are you awake?"

" I'm awake," Sam answered just loud enough to be heard. " Come in." She continued to stand at the window until she heard the door open and close. " Good morning, Karalynn." She smiled warmly at her visitor, no longer as self-conscious as she had been about her appearance and state of undress. Karalynn was a gentle woman of a few years – life-cycles – older than Sam. She was also assigned to be Sam's personal aide, given the position by the King who insisted Sam had someone to help her at all times. Karalynn's duties included helping Sam bathe, dress and prepare herself for her appointments.

" Good morning, Samantha," Karalynn smiled affectionately and embraced Sam in a motherly fashion. " You look well."

" As do you," Sam responded, returning the embrace whole-heartedly. The two women pulled away at the same time and Karalynn moved to the large wooden wardrobe to browse the array of clothes Sam could choose to wear for the day. " It looks like the storm passed quickly," Sam murmured, returning her attention to the window and life outside. " It's going to be a gorgeous day."

" Most storms pass through the night, Samantha. You should know that after sleep through so many of them in your time here," Karalynn responded with a fond smile, pulling a pale lemon coloured gown from the closet. " You look most becoming in this colour." She held the dress up for Sam to judge.

Crossing the distance between them, Sam touched the dress, as she looked it over with a critical eye. It was made of a light material similar that was similar to both cotton and silk, cool but smooth, and glided over the skin easily. Long and loose skirt with a fitted bodice that fastened at the back with laces, it seemed like the perfect outfit for a warm day. Nodding at Karalynn, Sam slid the dress from its primitive hanger and all but threw it on the bed. " I haven't got many plans for the day, it'll do fine."

" Good." Karalynn smiled with satisfaction. " You will not need to bathe this morning, will you?"

" No." Sam shook her head. " I bathed myself last night." It was another thing that had taken her a while to get used to, having help when bathing herself. The King insisted she be aided in the task so Karalynn often heated the water and scented it with exotic oils and then washed Sam's hair for her as the younger woman relaxed. It reminded Sam of being pampered at a health spa but Karalynn failed to understand the comparison. Sam moved to take her night gown off – which was no more than a slip of white silk with some lace over her chest – but hesitated, feeling self-conscious with Karalynn still in the room despite having gone through this same routine every morning. " Is Evelyn awake yet?"

Karalynn smiled again at the question, anticipating the request before it was asked of her. " Evelyn was still sleeping when I went to check. Should I go and fetch her?"

" Please." Sam smiled gratefully and waited until she was alone before stripping and dressing in a clean slip and the pale lemon dress. Within minutes, Karalynn rejoined her and was busily tying and tightening the laces of the dress's bodice. " Is Evelyn on her way?"

" She will be here shortly," Karalynn replied. " She was going to bathe before joining you so you could help her dress. She said she would not ask you to help her bathe since she was sure you would be busy."

" Thank you." The dress fastened, Karalynn began combing Sam's hair with an intricate brush, a gift from the King himself, Sam's blond tresses having grown considerably during her stay on Velenthia. " I was thinking I could wear my hair down today," Sam suggested as Karalynn began to work her magic.

Expertly braiding two small plaits from two separate sections of hair either side of Sam's head, Karalynn joined them together at the back of Sam's head and held them above slightly so she could brush through the remainder of hair. " This should keep it from your eyes whilst remaining down, Samantha, and I know the King likes your hair this way."

" Yes." Nothing else could be said about that, the King and her relationship with him were two aspects of her new life Sam kept closely guarded. " Have you.. Have you seen him this morning?"

" He has asked for you to grace him with your company at breakfast," Karalynn told her with an indulgent smile. " He seemed eager for you to join him. He is very fond of you, Samantha. Since his wife died.."

" I know." Sam cut her off as her eyes slid shut. " Since she died, he's been very closed off until I came along. *I know*." She opened her eyes and sighed softly. " I know what everyone thinks, Karalynn., but it's not true. It isn't like that between us, it's.. it's different."

Karalynn clucked her tongue sympathetically and placed her hands on Sam's shoulders. " No matter what you say, the people are going to see what they want to believe. Your position.. The King obviously favours you to the others.. and that makes them suspicious."

" Well they can think whatever they want to think." Sam declared stubbornly. " It won't change the fact that it's not true."

Smiling to herself, Karalynn nodded to Sam as the younger woman took her seat at the wooden dressing table – one of her gifts from the King. Sam busied herself by writing in the makeshift diary, a leather-bound book, which was also a gift from the King, as Karalynn set about unnecessarily organising the clothes in the wardrobe until a knock on the door signalled the arrival of Evelyn.

Opening the door to admit the young woman, Karalynn excused herself and left the two alone. Sam stood up and greeted Evelyn with a warm smile and equally warm embrace. " Morning, Evie," she smiled affectionately as the young woman's face lit up with a beautiful yet shy smile.

" Good morning, Saman-Sam." Evelyn hastily corrected herself, pushing a strand of coppery-blond hair from her deep brown eyes. " Did you sleep well?" She asked politely, still a little confused at why the King's favourite had chosen to befriend and look out for her.

" Fine. You?" Sam moved away to the window as Evelyn nodded coyly. " It's going to be a beautiful day, do you have any plans or appointments?"

" No." Evelyn relaxed as she felt an immense sense of relief at being able to answer negatively. A pink blush travelled up her cheeks as she continued. " But Nicholi said he would try to see me. We may be eating at mid-day in the gardens."

" A picnic." Sam smiled a little wistfully at the confused expression that befell her young friend. " It's an Earth term," she explained softly. " It doesn't matter. Now," she turned to Evelyn with a weak smile. " We have to get you dressed. You can't walk around in your underwear all day."

Again, Evelyn blushed and the two women were soon on their way to Evelyn's room after making sure the door to Sam's was locked securely, cutting through the wing of the palace designated for the courtesans. On their way, they passed other courtesans who rewarded them with icy smiles or scowls. Neither of them reacted, both accustomed to the hostility they were shown by their contemporaries.

" Samantha?" Evelyn sounded unsure as they entered her room, closing the door behind them.

" Yes?" Half-heartedly, Sam wandered over to Evelyn's smaller wardrobe, searching for the dress she had pictured in her mind.

Sitting on the edge of her bed, Evelyn fidgeted with the frill on the edge of the blankets. " Do you still miss your home?"

Sam's face softened as she turned with the pastel blue dress in hand. She knew Evelyn couldn't understand some of the things she told her about Earth or the people there, some of the things she'd talked about were concepts Evelyn had never dreamed of or experienced herself – like the concept of choosing what you wanted to do rather than having it forced upon you. Or the concept of coming from a home with family and friends who loved and wanted you – something Evelyn, sadly, had gone without in her short lifetime. At least until Sam had arrived and taken on the role of both Evelyn's mother and big sister. " I do miss it, Evelyn. Until I'm back there, I always will."

" What's it like?" Evelyn shifted to make room for Sam on the bed. " Why's it so wonderful you can't forget about it?"

Smiling sadly, Sam closed her eyes to conjure a picture of home in her head. Unsurprisingly, when she thought of home, she thought of the people there rather than one particular place. " One day, you'll see it with me," she vowed, opening her eyes to look at Evelyn. " You'll understand someday. It's not any one thing that makes it so special, or any one person.. There are a lot of things that make Earth my home, Evie. There's the places and buildings," she said, picturing the SGC and her home as she spoke, the images in her mind soon dissolving into being pictures of faces she saw regularly in her dreams. " And there's the people. My family, my friends, the people I worked with, the people I.. the people I love."

" Like Nicholi?" Evelyn questioned, a half-curious, half-dreamy expression arranging her features. She looked at Sam with the same gleam in her eyes Sam recalled seeing in Janet and Cassandra's so long ago. " Is there someone like Nicholi waiting for you at home?"

Opening her mouth to answer, Sam hesitated as a secretive smile played on her lips, one of the faces she associated with home being dragged to the forefront of her mind. " There's.." She paused again, the smile fading as she shook her head to dismiss the image. " There's no one waiting for me," she answered eventually. " Not that I know of."

" Maybe there is," Evelyn suggested, seeing the sadness play across Sam's face but unable to the reason for it. Instinctively, she reached out and took Sam's hand in hers, smiling innocently. " Maybe there's somebody waiting for you and you just don't know it yet."

Forcing a smile, Sam squeezed Evelyn's hand. " Maybe there is." She cleared her throat and got to her feet, a hand quickly going up to her face as she suspiciously wiped at her cheek. " In the meantime, we have to get you ready. The King is expecting me to join him soon."

Evelyn nodded, silently acknowledging the change in conversation, making a mental note to broach the subject of Sam's sadness with Nicholi when she saw him later. A bright smile spread across her face as she felt the same bubbles of excitement in the pit of her stomach that she always felt when thinking of Nicholi. Without any further hesitation, Evelyn stood and took Sam's advice on what to wear and how to do her hair, the smile a constant as Sam helped her apply her make-up, both women lost in their thoughts of two very different men and being in similar relationships with them that weren't allowed.

~*~

As Sam left Evelyn's room to dine with the King in the palace, her former team mates settled down to breakfast with their hosts. The four members of SG-1 sat down with Bernadette and Torin, surprised to find Nicholi, the young boy who'd brought them here, was absent.

" Nicholi has gone to work," Bernadette answered their unasked question as she sipped from her drink, some sort of herbal tea. " He works at the palace and has to travel through the forest to the city each morning."

" You must be proud of him." Daniel gave the woman a smile of gratitude as he took the mug she offered him. " Working at the palace must be a good job."

" It is." Torin beamed, his round face glowing with pride as he thought of his youngest son. " We are very proud of Nicholi, he has great aspirations."

For a few minutes, they ate in silence. Jack played with the food on the plate before him, his mind occupied with images from his disturbing dreams. Teal'c sat and observed everyone, sensing some kind of shift in Gardam's attitude but unable to put his finger on what it was which perplexed him. Daniel and Gardam were silent, digging into their food as they waited for the opportunity to ask some questions.

" Nicholi told us you are visitors to our world," Bernadette eventually gave them the chance after breakfast had been eaten. " He did not tell us why you have come to Velenthia."

" We're looking for a friend," Daniel started speedily before anyone else could get a word in. " We believe she was taken from us with the intention of being sold to someone on this planet."

Neither Bernadette or Torin battered an eyelid at the question. " It is possible," Torin answered. " Those with enough wealth travel from Velenthia through the Circle of Stone to purchase workers for their land."

" Can you tell us a little more about the city?" Gardam asked quickly, changing the subject and ignoring the glare she got from Daniel for doing so. " I mean, who would we talk to about finding our.. missing friend?" The last three words proved difficult for her to say.

Torin exchanged glances with his wife and caught the sight of her subtle nod. " The first person you should see is the King. I will take you to the palace soon and arrange a meeting for you with his advisors."

" Will the King know if our friend is here and where we can find her if she is?" Daniel pressed on eagerly.

Looking a little uncomfortable, Torin nodded. " The King.. his advisers do much acquiring of women on other planets. Those deemed appropriate are brought here and taken to the palace where they are put to work."

" What kind of work?" Jack's stomach lurched at the possibilities, the knot in his stomach tightening at the looks shared between Torin and his wife.

Torin looked to him and stared into his eyes or what seemed like a long time, reading something there that made him even more uncomfortable. " I will take you to the palace if you are ready to depart. You will find your answers there."

Glancing quickly at the faces of his team, Jack nodded and got to his feet. " We're ready whenever you are."

~*~

The trek to the palace was a strangely enjoyable one. The air was fresh and crisp, the sun was warm but not stifling. The planet was a beautiful one and reminded them of Earth, of what Earth must have been like before industries expanded and took over the land. They followed Torin in silence, trusting the older man to take them where they needed to be, all four members of SG-1 contemplating what would happen if the King gave them the answers they wanted and the answers they dreaded.

Eventually, they made it to the palace, which was even more beautiful up close than it had been to Daniel and Gardam from a distance. Even Teal'c and Jack were impressed with the splendour of the oldest and biggest building in the centre of the city.

" Are you sure you can get us in there?" Jack asked Torin after staring up at the palace for a few minutes, trying to work out just how tall it actually was. His best guess was that it was at least twice the height of the Gateroom.

Torin nodded and smiled. " The King welcomes his people, both the wealthy and the not-so-wealthy. All Velenthians are told to bring our planet's visitors here if they need to discuss a matter of trading or information." He started towards the ornate gates that were fixed into the palace's wall. " Come, there will be someone who can help us within the palace grounds."

Once again following him, SG-1 watched in amazement as the gates were opened by two guards who smiled welcomingly at them. Daniel stared wide-eyed around the inside of the palace walls, realizing the amazing structure they'd passed wasn't the outside of the palace but merely an enclosure for the actual building itself, which was decidedly more elegant and breathtaking.

" It is a beautiful palace, is it not?" Torin grinned at them. " It was built many, many life-cycles ago by the people of the Great-Grandfather of our present King as a gift of thanks for years of protection and leadership."

" It must have taken years to build!" Daniel uttered, awe-struck. " The detail on the carvings.. The towers.. It's like something from a fairytale!"

Looking pleased at the praise, even though he didn't fully understand it, Torin led them across the cobbled courtyard and up to one of the guards standing outside a pair of huge wooden doors that led into the palace itself. " Talako, I have with me some visitors from another world," Torin addressed the guard. " They need to see the King to discuss a matter of trading, is it possible they will be granted an audience with him soon?"

Talako looked at the four strangers and back at Torin, giving him a short nod. " I will tell the King's advisors you are here." He looked to his companion and held a silent conversation, which ended in the other guard leaving through the doors. Turning back to Torin, Talako smiled. " It has been a while, old friend."

" Yes, it has," Torin smiled back. " How is your family?"

" They are well, my daughter has plans to wed in two moon-cycles. I would be honoured if you and your family would attend," Talako answered pleasantly.

Torin clapped him on the back. " We would be honoured to join you. Please tell your daughter we are pleased for her."

Talako was stopped from saying more to Torin by the arrival of the second guard. He looked expectant. " Can they enter?"

" The King is tending to some business," the second guard answered. " But Akima granted them permission to wait in the public meeting hall of the East wing."

" Very well." Talako nodded briskly and looked at Torin. " You have permission to proceed, the King or one of his advisors will be with your shortly. You know where the hall is?"

" I do." Torin answered in the affirmative. " Thank you." Talako opened the doors and Torin led SG-1 through them and into a main entrance hall lavishly decorated with a carved staircase, thick carpets and magnificent paintings on the wall. Without giving them time to pause to take it in, Torin walked through one of the archways and led them up a spiral stone staircase. They followed him through a maze of doorways, halls and even more stairs before eventually coming back to the decorated section of the palace instead of just the stone walls and floors. Torin stopped outside one room and opened the doors, ushering SG-1 into a large room with a huge wooden table in the centre and a fireplace at one end. " This is the meeting hall. Whenever the King's people have a problem, we all meet here to discuss it with him and his advisors."

" Sounds fair," Daniel murmured, looking up to see where the light was coming from, finding the ceiling was made of multicoloured stained glass that depicted no real image, just a random pattern of colours. " Wow."

" It is impressive," a voice from behind them spoke up, his tone of authority echoing around the room. " Forgive me." A short, wiry man with white hair approached them. " I am Akima, one of the kings advisors. Torin, you say these people wish to trade?"

" They are looking for information as well as trade, my Lord," Torin bowed slightly out of courtesy. " My wife and I offered them shelter from the storm and I brought them here to speak with the King."

" Thank you," Akima nodded at him to straighten. " You once again have done the honourable thing. You may leave now, I will see to it that your visitors are looked after." Torin nodded and started to leave the room. " And Torin?"

" Yes, my Lord?" Torin paused in the doorway.

" If your son is as honourable as you, he will have a long future here serving the King." Torin ducked his head, obviously pleased by the remark and excused himself, leaving SG-1 alone with the King's advisor who studied them all keenly. " You travelled through the Circle of Stone?"

Jack motioned to Daniel to answer. " Ah, yes. We did. Where we come from, we call it a Stargate."

" Yes." Akima didn't seem surprised. " I have heard of it being referred to as that before. You wish to trade with us?"

" We travel looking for allies and new friends," Daniel answered quickly. " We also came here because we heard a friend of ours who was taken from us might have been brought here. She was.. sold.. to someone on the planet Belethia and we were given the address of Velenthia."

Akima looked up sharply at that. " We do trade with Belethia, so it is possible. The King himself will help you determine if she is here." He looked curious. " You said you travelled seeking new allies. Allies against what?"

" Erm.." Daniel hesitated and looked at Jack for guidance. He didn't want to say they were looking for allies against the Goa'uld too soon. It was still possible that the King they were waiting to meet was one. " We.."

" We would prefer to speak to the King directly about that, if you don't mind," Jack cut in smoothly. " We have to be cautious about who we talk to, you understand."

Akima nodded though his expression suggested that he didn't. His eyes fell on Gardam and narrowed. " You are a female?"

" Yes," Gardam answered tersely, her own eyes narrowing suspiciously. " Why?"

" Your clothing is not appropriate for a meeting with the King." Akima told her decisively. " Women of Velenthia are forbidden from wearing the clothes of a man." He turned to Jack, sensing the authority the Colonel had. " Will you give permission for this woman to be dressed in proper attire? I cannot permit her to meet the King if she is not.. Her current attire would be offensive."

Jack hesitated. It had been something like that that had cost them Sam. He looked questioningly at Gardam. " Captain? It's your call. You want to go get changed or wait for us somewhere with Teal'c?"

Gardam cast a quick glance at the Jaffa and then at Akima and sighed inwardly. " I'd rather not miss meeting the King, Sir. I might have some questions to ask him." She looked to Akima. " Where do I go to get proper clothes?"

" You will be taken to the ladies of the palace who will assist you," Akima explained. " I will go and fetch one of them to take you to the right place." He left the room for only a minute, returning with an elegantly dressed woman in a fitted dress reminiscent of the fashion of 15th century Europe on Earth – just like the buildings Daniel had noted. " Veronica will assist you in changing your clothes, Miss..?"

" *Captain* Gardam," Gardam corrected haughtily, eyeing with distain the amount of Veronica's skin that was on show.

" Captain Gardam," Akima acquiesced with a small smile. " Veronica?"

" Yes, my Lord." The woman curtseyed and left, leaving Gardam to follow after heaving a long-suffering sigh.

" She will be well looked after," Akima assured them, mistaking her team mates exasperation at Gardam's behaviour with concern. " Now, if you wait here, I will go and see if the King is ready to see you."

" Sure, fine." Jack watched the man go and sighed heavily as the doors to the room closed behind him. " Whatever."

" We're close, Jack," Daniel murmured, taking a step towards the weary Colonel. " I don't know how.. but I know we're close."

Jack was silent for a few moments, scuffing his shoe against the rug on the floor. Finally, he looked up, his eyes pained. " I hope you're right, Daniel." He looked away again, his voice almost too quiet to hear. " I don't know how much more of this I can take."

Daniel looked up in concern and met Teal'c eyes. The Jaffa nodded in acknowledgement, letting him know he hadn't imagined that last comment, and the archaeologist began praying to whatever God was real that they found their friend and fast, before they lost another one.

~*~

Meanwhile, Gardam was being led through the confusing maze of corridors and staircases and doorways again, having to half-run to keep up with Veronica. On her way round a sharp bend, she collided with another woman who was heading in the way she'd just come.

" Oh, sorry!" She pulled back and looked up into the woman's face, her eyes narrowing at the familiar yet strange face that stared back at her. " I wasn't looking where I was going.. I was trying to follow someone.."

The woman gave her a tight smile, her face pale. " It's okay," she murmured in reply. " The corridors are too narrow for more than one person either way." As she spoke, she moved closer to the wall, allowing Gardam to pass her as she pushed a strand of silky blond hair from her eyes. With a weak smile, the woman was off again, walking quickly along the stone hallway.

" Bye." Gardam watched her go, feeling slightly chilled. She felt as though she'd seen a ghost.

" Don't mind her," Veronica appeared at her shoulder, sending a glare down the hallway at the other woman's back. " She acts like she's the Queen most of the time."

" Right." Gardam started following Veronica again but her mind was preoccupied. She knew that face from somewhere, of that she was certain. But those eyes.. She felt a shiver wrack her spine. Those eyes were so haunted, so full of misery. The woman had looked wounded, lost. Gardam had never seen someone look so.. desolate before, as though something was missing. She shuddered again as she turned down another corridor, certain those eyes would be coming back to trouble her in her sleep for many nights to come.

~*~
" I want it all to go away, I want to be alone
Sympathy's wasted on my hollow shell
I feel there's nothing left to fight for
No reason for a cause
And I can't hear your voice and I can't feel you near."
~ 'Lost', Sarah McLachlan
~*~

~*~
Part Four
~*~
" Oh and every time I'm close to you,
 There's too much I can't say,
And you just walk away."
 ~ 'I love you', Sarah McLachlan.
~*~

Sitting in the centre of the busy room, Gardam tried to contain her interest and mild disgust. She had gathered the women helping to make her  presentable were courtesans and she felt uncomfortable knowing these were women who slept with strangers for money.

 " Excuse me," she spoke up eventually. " Can I ask you something?"

" Of course," Veronica smiled politely down on her. " You are a guest of the King. You may ask us what you wish."

Smiling a little smugly at having some power over them, Gardam looked from one pretty face to the next. " That woman we passed in the hallway, the one I bumped into, who is she? What's her story?"

Veronica snorted as the others shook their heads, wearing identical expressions of envious annoyance. " *She* is the King's favourite. She is the one most want to be with but cannot because the King protects her." She leaned in conspiratorially. " She is trouble, you should warn your companions. Some say she has powers over men to make them desire her. I do not know if that is true but there *is* something strange about her so be careful."

" You speak nonsense, Veronica," the slightly older woman from the corner of the room chided sharply. Gardam looked past the others to where Karalynn was sitting in a chair, sewing a dress. " Do not be swayed by their petty jealousy," she warned Gardam. " There is nothing in Samantha that can be threatening to anyone. She is a kind, gentle woman with a good heart. Perhaps she is desired so because she has a sweet nature, something *you* would know little of, Veronica."

" You have been as blinded by her as the King has," Veronica dismissed her claims with the wave of her hand and sat down in the chair beside Gardam. " Your companions are handsome. Are they married?"

Gardam shook her head. " They were all married once, I think. I know Doctor Jackson – that's the one who was wearing glasses – was married but his wife died."

" So they're available?" Veronica's eyes gleamed.

" Would it matter if they weren't?" Gardam shot back evenly. She tilted her head to one side. " I'm sorry if I sound harsh but I didn't think that mattered to.. umm.. women like you."

" It doesn't," Veronica laughed. " I was wondering if any of them were married to you. It is unusual for a woman to travel with men she is not related to or married."

A one-shoulder shrug was Gardam's response. " We're not a usual team. SG-1 is a team of explorers and I'm one of them." She sighed and looked at her hands. " For now, at least."

" Is there a chance you won't be with them for long?" Veronica question curiously.

" If my team mates find their friend, a woman named Sa-" Her voice trailed off and her head snapped up. " Did you say that woman we passed was called Samantha?"

Once again, a shadow crossed over veronica's face. " Yes, that is her name. Why?"

" No reason," Gardam replied hurriedly, her eyes drifting to the door as it opened. Low and behold, Samantha Carter stepped in, followed by a very young looking woman. Without so much as looking at the other courtesans, the two newcomers crossed the room to where Karalynn was sitting. " As I was saying," Gardam continued, raising her voice so Sam could hear. " They're looking for a missing friend to take her home but I'm pretty sure I won't be replaced on the team. We're all pretty close," she added, watching as Sam looked up. " Personally as well as professionally. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if Colonel O'Neill and myself get *a lot* closer once he's able to put finding their former team mate behind him. I think he'll probably be able to give up searching soon, and get over the guilt of letting her go."

A small smile tugged at her lips as Sam got up and left the room, her two companions staring confusedly at the door after her. Gardam ignored the tiny tug of remorse at having caused the haunted woman she'd felt pity for earlier even more pain but she quashed it immediately, telling herself that she had to do this, had to use her opponents weakness, to ensure her position. Now all she had to do was keep SG-1 from seeing Sam, who hopefully would remain quiet now she thought her team mates had moved on, and in a few days, they would leave Velenthia and her position on SG-1 would be guaranteed for the future.

" Can you take me back to my team now?" She asked, smiling sweetly. " I think I should warn them about the woman."