"At what cost?" By LouisaLee

TITLE: At what cost?

AUTHOR: LouisaLee

E-MAIL: louisalee@yahoo.com

RATING: G

CATEGORY: Sam/Jack

SEASON: 6

SPOILERS: Frozen

ARCHIVE: SJ yes, all others please ask

SUMMARY: Hammond thinks about a tough decision he had to make.

SEQUEL: Wait and See (not really a sequel, but a companion piece)

STATUS: Complete

DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

NOTES: This is the first fic I've ever completed and had the nerve to post. The idea behind this just hit me one evening and I had to write it down. (I always wondered what that "muse" was that others spoke of.) My deepest appreciation to those of you who participate daily in the Yahoo Groups. A special thanks to Alli for the beta.

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At what cost?

Life sometimes gives you tough choices. I always thought that as I got older, decisions would be easier to make. That's not how it turned out today. Today I had to choose whether or not to ask someone under my command if they could put aside their convictions and do something that they'd never do under normal circumstances.

Actually, I had to ask this of two people, not just one. Each of them would be doing something they thought was wrong. And they'd be right. But sometimes we have to put aside our beliefs and hope that what we do makes a difference in the grander scheme of things.

Jack O'Neill hates the Gou'ald. He tolerates - and definitely mistrusts - the Tok'ra. But he is a valiant soldier and is needed in the long fight ahead. I won't be around forever. Knowing he's there after I'm gone gives me comfort. A comfort I must deny him. I need him to live and the only means we have is for him to become Tok'ra. Of course, his becoming Tok'ra benefits the Tok'ra and they will become indebted to Earth yet again. I fool myself by saying that, maybe, the Tok'ra will come to understand us a bit better and become better allies. Jacob tries, but he's just one. O'Neill would make that two, and his personality is like a force of nature - like a hurricane. Believe me, I've had several years caught up in the turbulence which sometimes surrounds Jack O'Neill. You either love him or hate him - sometimes both. But the part of me that thinks of him as Jack cannot just stand by and let him die. I'd miss the soldier, the man, ... the friend and confidant. So I need him to agree to the blending.

But at what cost to his soul?

Major Samantha Carter hates the Goa'uld and tolerates - and perhaps sympathizes with - the Tok'ra. How could she not, with her father a Tok'ra and having been a host herself? But I think that the choice I must ask her to make is the hardest for me personally versus militarily. Today I must ask her to get O'Neill to agree to the blending. I would ask him myself and explain the importance of the information the Tok'ra believe the symbiote has. There's even the knowledge of the Tok'ra and their plans that he might gain from the symbiote. But Jack O'Neill is stubborn and I'm not sure he would agree even with those stakes. He's a man of deep emotions. No, Carter has to ask him to agree to the blending. There's something special between the two of them and I need her influence. She won't want to use any other argument other than the military one, but we both know there's really only one reason for Jack to agree. She too is a valiant soldier and will do the job I have asked her to do.

But at what cost to her soul?

"Sir ... please"

And at what cost to my soul?