Title: Regret

Author: Sally Murphy

Email: majorsallymurphy@yahoo.com

Spoilers: 2010

Season/sequel: 4th season.

Rating: NC-17

Content warning: Foul language, sexual situations.

Status: Complete

Archive: S&J, Heliopolis-Yes! Others please ask.

Summary: Missing scene from the episode 2010. What really happened between Sam and Jack when she went to his cabin to convince him to help them?

Disclaimer: I own nothing, and get nothing, concerning Stargate, whatsoever. All the money and the glory goes to the lucky few who had the smarts to get involved with it in the beginning.

Author's notes: I'd like to thank my best friend, and constant inspiration, Deanna Moll-Landry, better know as AQ, for beta reading this for me.

Copyright (c) April 2001, by Sally M.

It's ten years in the future and the existence of humanity is at stake, when Sam goes to visit Jack at his secluded cabin. Earth has made an alliance with an alien race called the Aschen. Everyone, but Jack, thought these people were their saviors, only to realize too late that they were slowly committing genocide. Sam and Jack's reunion was anything but sweet as Jack refused to help her reverse the damage that had occurred at the hands of the Aschen. By sending a note ten years into the past, SG-1 could prevent themselves from ever going to the Aschen home world, thus, never meeting the Aschen to begin with. Sam pleads with Jack to help them with their plan, but his long-standing bitterness concerning the events that lead up to this prevent him from giving them the help they so thoroughly need.

{The following is dialogue from the episode just prior to my scene.}

Jack: Well, let me tell you something, Carter, you want to erase your mistakes, that's your business. My conscience is clear. I warned everybody, I threw up the red flag, and everyone-including you I might add-shut me down.

Sam: I'm asking you to put that behind us--

Jack: You're not happy with the way things turned out, I'm sorry to hear that. (pausing) Personally, I like things the way they are. No more saving the world, just a nice pond with no pesky fish in it, and the single most pressing issue in my life is whether or not to get a dog...There's a lot of pros and cons to consider.

Sam: Jack, I'm talking about the future of the human race.

Jack: So was I.

Sam: We're doing this.

Jack: Let me know how it turns out.

Sam: Our chances are a lot better with you than without you.

Jack: Let me ask you something. What does your dearly beloved Ambassador say about all this?

Sam: I haven't had the chance to tell him.

Jack: Maybe he can help you.

{Now, the missing scene.}

Sam walked away with a look of anger and regret emblazoned on her face.

Jack watched her walk away and felt like a shit for making her feel like shit.

"Carter....WAIT!" he hollered.

Sam stopped suddenly, but didn't want to turn around. She stood there waiting for him to talk. Losing patience, she took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment to calm herself.

"What!" she said sarcastically.

"Why don't we go into my cabin and fuck each other's brains out," Jack said matter-of-factly.

Sam stood there with her back to him not believing what she just heard him say. Turning abruptly around, she stared at him in disbelief.

"I can't believe you just said that to me!"

"Why? I'm still attracted to you and I KNOW you're still attracted to me. What's the big deal anyways!"

"Oh, I don't know! Could it be that I'm married! Or the lovely way you stated it! OR, that I just told you that this will mean the end of humanity, and not only did you turn me down for help, but you HIT on me! Gee, I just don't know WHAT could be wrong!" Sam bellowed indignantly.

Jack stared at her with a look of innocence as he shoved his hands in his pockets. Seeing him do this, and the almost sweet expression on his face, made her anger diminish rapidly.

"What is wrong with you?" Sam quietly asked.

"Nothing...you?" Jack answered, with a shrug of his shoulders.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU JACK!" she yelled, running out of patience for this stupid game of his.

"YOU!...that's what's wrong with me," he said with conviction.

"You are so different," Sam said, as she turned her eyes away from his to stare at the ground.

"And you are sooo the same," Jack bitterly stated.

Sam immediately looked up at him feeling angry and hurt by his statement. With anger winning out, she felt herself wanting to hurt him as much as he was hurting her. With her hands balling into fists, she knew that this could be the argument that had been waiting to happen for ten years.

"What's THAT supposed to mean? Well!"

"Nothing."

"No! You want to tell me off Jack, go right ahead! GO ON!"

Jack stood there looking at her as though ~she~ were the one with the problem. He suddenly looked away, not wanting to see her looking at him like that.

Sighing to herself, she turned abruptly and slowly began to walk away. She didn't like seeing this side of him, and she definitely didn't like seeing this side of herself. With him ping-ponging between pathetic and unbelievably irritating, she decided that leaving now would save them both from saying things they couldn't take back. She was almost out of earshot when she heard him mumble something. He couldn't have said what she thought he just said. Stopping dead in her tracks, she slowly turned to face him.

"What did you just say?"

When he wouldn't answer her, or even look at her, she walked with determination to stand in front of him.

"I said, what did you just say to me?"

"I didn't say anything to you."

"I'm NOT deaf, I heard you say something! Now what the hell did you just say!"

Sam saw that look in his eyes, the same look he had the day he walked out of the SGC. She knew this was it, the argument that was waiting to happen-to explode.

"I SAID, why don't you go ahead and runaway like you always do!" he exclaimed, glaring at her.

Sam's eyes narrowed as she felt her blood begin to boil.

"How could ~I~ runaway! ME! I'm not the one who ran away. I'm not the one who couldn't handle what was happening here. I'm not the one who left his friends, his career, his responsibilities because he couldn't make everybody see it his way. I can't believe that you're accusing ME of this when you're the one who did it!"

"I didn't run away, I GOT away! And it wasn't that I couldn't handle what was happening, it was that I couldn't ~believe~ what was happening!"

"What couldn't you believe, Jack, that the Aschen could be our saviors, or that you couldn't change our minds about them!"

"That all of you could be so blind because they told you everything you wanted to hear. You never questioned anything about them, right from the very beginning!"

"Yes we did!"

"No YOU didn't!"

There it was, what this was really about. She was waiting for this; that all of this was her fault. She was ready; she had been ready for ten years.

"So, this is really about me, isn't it? You're not angry with the others for what happened, you're angry with ME! RIGHT!"

"No, I was angry with the others, but I was hurt by you, ~devastated~ by YOU!"

Hearing his words, and seeing the desolation on his face, Sam felt her resolve crumble. She saw the years of pain and betrayal play across his face making him look as old as she felt empty. Closing her eyes from the rush of regret that was bombarding her, she opened them again to see the same man of ten years ago. The same man who pleaded, who literally begged them to listen to him: begged HER to listen to him. She knew she had hurt him with everything that went down, but he had hurt her too. He didn't just leave everyone and everything, he left ~her~.

Seeing the emotions that played upon her face as well, he wondered how he could ever hurt someone he loved so much. There it was, he said it. No, he didn't say it, and he knew that if he had said it, maybe everything would have turned out different. If he had come to her, if he....~Ifs~ were all he ever had these days. If he had said this, or done that. Enough! Enough of what ifs and regrets. Moving closer to her, he tentatively reached out his hand to gently touch her arm. Startling her out of her thoughts, she meekly smiled at him, knowing that the worst of it was over. They stared at each other for a moment, feeling the tension between them dissolving, when suddenly as each decided to speak at the same instant, they both nervously laughed.

"You go...Jack."

"No, you go."

With neither one knowing what to say after everything they had already said, Jack decided to do his part with damage control.

"Uh...look, I'm sorry, ~really~ sorry, Sam. You know what an ass I can be, and obviously you can tell I'm working on my masters in that department," Jack sheepishly uttered, while shoving his hands in his pockets.

A gentle smile played across her face seeing him do that. It had always been one of her favorite idiosyncrasies about him. Glancing up at his face again, she saw him staring at her with an odd expression.

"What?" Sam mumbled.

He stared at her like that for a moment longer before answering her in a hushed voice.

"I love you. I always have," he whispered so quietly that she barely heard him.

"And I always will," she softy replied, as she felt her heart pounding so hard she was sure it would have leapt from her chest.

They stared at each other as though they were trying to memorize the other's face. Slowly a smile spread across Jack's face making Sam do the same. They had forgiven each other for everything; for the argument they had just had, and for the overwhelming regret they both felt for the way things had turned out. Neither one knew if they could ever forgive themselves though.

"I better go now. I have a lot of calculations to figure out to change the future...I mean the past...whatever!" Sam said grinning, as she tried to get her brain to work again.

"Yeah, that's probably the best thing to do."

Watching her walk away, he felt, ~knew~, that this would probably be the last time he ever saw her. It couldn't end like this. Not wanting her to go, he called out to her in hopes that she'd stay, even if it were only a moment longer.

"Sam, wait!"

Stopping, she turned towards him. She didn't want to stay any longer than she already had, feeling the growing knot in the pit of her stomach that was literally making her nauseous. It was very hard to look at Jack now without wanting to touch him, to hold him, to cradle him in her arms forever. She knew ~she~ was the reason he was the broken and lost man that he had become. Sighing, she began to speak, when he interrupted her suddenly.

"So, what would you think of taking me up on my previous offer? You know...the cabin...you and I..." Jack whispered, smiling his most boyish smile.

Seeing her ambiguous statement, he realized that he was destroying what little respect she had left for him.

"It's alright Sam, go and save the world...again," he muttered, as he suddenly found the ground extremely interesting.

Sam closed her eyes fighting the lump harassing her throat. She didn't want to leave him like this, but she ~had~ to leave now before she couldn't.

"Bye, Jack," she whispered, as she slowly turned and walked away.

Jack stood there a moment as he watched her disappear around the corner. He felt the familiar emptiness take hold of him again as he reluctantly walked back to his cabin.

Unable to move, to do anything, Sam sat in her car staring out the window. She couldn't shake the depression weeding it's way into her soul. It was not just the look Jack had before she walked away; it was the fact that she was actually thinking of taking him up on his offer. Was that the reason she wasn't leaving, she thought to herself? She knew she couldn't do this, wouldn't do this-she was married. Besides, she had a mission to consider that was of monumental importance. But, here she sat, unable to will her muscles, her brain, to move.

"Stop doing this to yourself," Sam squeaked, as she rested her forehead on the steering wheel. She decided to count to five to see if that would motivate her to move. She just needed the motivation for the motivation. Giving up, she quickly sat up and placed her hand on the keys in the ignition.

"One, two, three, four, SHIT," she yelled, as she hastily shoved the door open and stepped out of the car. Hesitating for a moment, she suddenly slammed the car door shut as she took off for Jack's cabin. She couldn't believe she was doing this, as she made her way up the steps to stop abruptly at his door. Her fist hovered over the door as she thought over exactly was she was about to do. Knowing she couldn't walk away again, she opened the door slowly and hesitantly walked in.

She saw him immediately, sitting in a chair with his back to her, looking out the window. He looked so alone, so lonely, that it caught her breath. She didn't think that he knew she was there until he suddenly spoke so softly that she wasn't sure if she was hearing things.

"I thought you were leaving," Jack whispered quietly.

Not hearing a reply, he repeated the sentence. "I thought you were leaving," he said with more conviction.

"I was, but I...I couldn't...I couldn't--"

"You couldn't what? Look...I know you have a lot of stuff to do, and I have some very important stuff of my own to do. I'm going to see how long I can sit here before my ass goes completely numb. Well, ~I~ thought it was funny," Jack said, with mild sarcasm.

When he didn't hear even a sound from her, he turned his head to see her standing by the door in the shadows. Realizing just how very much alone she looked at that moment, he turned his head back to stare out the window.

"Jack?"

"Sam?"

"Sam...what do you want?"

"You," Sam mumbled, barely above a whisper.

Squeezing the arms of the chair he sat in, Jack thought this kind of talk wouldn't help either one of them.

"That's nice of you to say, but I'm not really in the mood for pleasantries right now. Maybe after you save the world we can--"

"There won't be another chance for this, for any of this!"

"Any of what? What do you want?"

"I told you...I want you."

"What does that mean! What EXACTLY does that mean!"

"It means...I...uh--"

"Carter!"

"It means I'm taking you up on your offer!"

Closing his eyes momentarily, he took a deep breath and prayed he hadn't misunderstood her. There's only one way to find out, he told himself.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Yes, Jack, I'm really sure."

"Come here," he whispered, with a slight smile.

Sam slowly made her way over to Jack to stand directly in front of him. When he merely sat there, not even responding to her presence, she began to speak.

"No words Sam...no explanations," he whispered softly.

Jack reached out to Sam, and grabbing hold of her belt, he gently pulled her towards him to stand in between his legs. Leaving his hand on her belt, he reached up with the other one to gently caress her stomach. Closing her eyes from the sudden onrush of desire his touch caused, she tentatively placed her hands on his head. A small moan escaped his lips as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

At that moment, Sam ~knew~ that he loved her. Without even a further doubt, she knew that what she was doing was the right thing. All of the other worries that had scurried into her brain were now pleasantly vacant, as she gave in to the feel of him holding her.

Pulling back slightly to rub his lips over her shirt, he felt her gasp. Being all the encouragement he needed, he slowly lifted her shirt to brush his lips across her bare flesh. Feeling her tightening her grasp on him, he placed a soft kiss on her stomach. Sam moaned slightly, causing him to lose what little control he had left for taking this slow. Standing up suddenly, he grabbed her, and lifting her up to press her stomach against his face, he slowly let her down. She felt his arousal pressing against her stomach, and her mind was instantaneously filled with images of them making slow, passionate love. He saw the desire reflected in her eyes and knew at that moment that she didn't regret what she was doing. Smiling, he took her hand and led her over to the bed.

"Sit down Sam. I'd like to take this slow and easy, but I know we don't have the time for it. Maybe next time," he quietly stated.

"There won't be a next time," she whispered.

"Then we better make this one count, eh."

Seeing her sweet smile at his retort, he stood back slightly to unbutton his shirt. Sam watched him as he methodically removed his shirt and undershirt, smiling up at him appreciatively from time to time. Smiling back and waggling his brows, he proceeded to slowly undo his jeans. Sam felt her cheeks flush, and looking up at him, she saw him grin like a schoolboy. She continued to watch him as he removed his jeans; which left him standing there in his briefs and socks. This wasn't the most erotic clothing he could be wearing, she thought with a smile, but it was what was under those articles that counted.

"What?" he asked impishly.

"Nothing...nice socks!" she quipped.

Glaring at her playfully, he extended a hand to help her stand up. Locking eyes momentarily, he reached out to softly caress her cheek with his hand. Leaning into his embrace, she placed her own hand over his. Taking in the sight of each other, they merely stood there memorizing every line, every crease, every detail of the other.

"You are so beautiful Sam, you know that don't you," Jack whispered softly.

Never taking her eyes off him, she removed her hand from his, and began to unbutton her jeans. Jack stepped back to not only give her room, but to watch her do this. A devilish grin spread across his face as he watched her remove her pants. As she began to remove her underwear, he quickly reached out to stop her.

"Let me do it! This is one of my fantasies, you know," he declared with a grin.

Feeling a blush rising to her cheeks, she lifted her hands and watched him as he bent down onto his knees in front of her. Leaning in to place a delicate kiss upon her stomach, he ever so slowly pulled down her underwear, enjoying the view as he went. Helping her step out of them, he looked up to let his eyes roam gradually up her body until meeting her own desire filled eyes. He slowly stood, and taking hold of her hands, he gently guided her back onto the bed. Motioning her to lie down, he stood back, reverently taking in the sight before him. She was without a doubt the most breathtaking woman he had ever seen. Seeing the appreciative gaze he was giving her, she smiled, and reached out her hands in an appeal to join her. As he began to move towards her he suddenly stopped, seeing her sit up quickly to haphazardly remove her long jacket. When it appeared she was about to remove her shirt as well, he acted quickly to stop her.

"NO...don't please," Jack sheepishly declared.

"Uh, why?" Sam questioned with a look of confusion.

"Because, if I see you completely nude, I'll never be able to stop, and I know you have to get back soon. I'd ~really~ like to take my time....," he quipped, smiling with resignation.

Grinning in reply, she laid back against the bed again. So many thoughts went through her mind as he slowly descended over her. She wished, oh, how she wished, that the circumstances were different. If only they'd.......She lost all ability of thought as Jack laid himself gently on top of her. Staring into each other's eyes, both saw the years of regret, the years of missed opportunities, the years of waste that they could have avoided if only they'd have stayed together. Reminiscing ended abruptly for both when Jack shifted over her, causing a rush of desire that they didn't want to ignore. Looking into Sam's eyes, he knew she was ready, but he couldn't bring himself to begin. Seeing his apprehension, she couldn't help but wonder if he was changing his mind.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Sam whispered softly.

"I just don't want you to regret this. Once this happens, we can't take it back," Jack quietly replied.

Reaching up with both hands to cup his face, she pulled him down to place a tender kiss upon his lips.

"I'll ~never~ regret this, Jack. What I do regret is how ridiculously long it took us to get to this point. And, I'll also regret if we run out of time for this because we wasted it with talking," she quipped with a grin, as she pulled him in for another gentle kiss.

Wasting no time with further hesitation, they quickly succumbed to the passion their kiss induced, as their tongues sensually danced and parlayed together. Jack's lips left her own as he trailed them down to her neck to savor the flesh there. Relishing the sensations his mouth brought forth, she slowly moved her hands down his back to his briefs to gradually push them down. Pulling his head up to look into her eyes, he saw the slightest of smirks played across her face.

"Impatient are we?" Jack murmured, as he resumed his attack on her neck.

"No...just aware...that we don't....have a lot...of ...time," Sam replied breathlessly.

Knowing they didn't have the luxury of time, he picked up the pace.

"I'm sorry Sam," he whispered, as his hand moved in between their bodies.

Sam knew she was ready for him, as she felt him prepare to enter her. Their eyes locking, he slowly and carefully penetrated her body. Gasping together, they closed their eyes a moment to revel in the feel of the other. Giving her a moment to adjust to him, he unabashedly stared at her with awe. God, how he'd wanted to be with her like this for so long; he couldn't remember a time when he didn't want her. So many wasted years he thought, as he felt Sam stir beneath him. Knowing this was his cue; he began to move within her. Jack couldn't believe how wonderful she felt, how warm and inviting her body felt around him. He wondered if he could just burrow his way so deep inside her that he'd never have to come out. Maybe nest under her heart, he thought with a grin. That grin soon disappeared, as Sam slowly and methodically drove him mad, her hands touching and caressing his back, urging him on. As she wrapped her legs around his, he lost what little self-control he had left. Desire became as overwhelming as their need, their movements becoming erratic, as they quickened their pace. All of the wanting, all of the yearning, converging into this one moment between them, the only moment they both knew they'd ever have. Grasping Jack tightly, Sam went over the edge, taking him along with her.

As their breathing slowly returned to normal, they merely held each other tight, enjoying the feel and sensation of the other. This was everything that could have been, should have been, but was never given the chance of fruition.

Jack barely began to move off Sam when she possessively grabbed him, preventing him from withdrawal.

"No...not yet," she whispered, "Don't leave me just yet."

"I'm not going anywhere," he replied softly.

Turning slightly to lay on their sides, they simply observed one another, as their hands slowly caressed the other. Leaning in, Jack softly kissed her lips, his tongue lightly tracing a trail around them, seeking entrance. Needing no further pleas, Sam hungrily accepted his, applying her own when she felt the passion rising again. Suddenly drawing back from her, he quickly placed a finger to her lips to silence her query.

"Sam...I don't think it's a good idea to start this up again, unless you want to get out of here after midnight," Jack teased with a grin.

"Sorry, you're kind of hard to resist," she purred, as her hand leisurely stroked his behind, pulling him closer into her embrace.

"Oh...not fair...Major," he gasped, closing his eyes to the fire that welled within him by her touch.

"That's ~Colonel~ now, Jack! And who said anything about playing fa...fair...mmm," she breathed, as Jack's hand moved up to gently cup her breast.

Taking a deep breath at the sensation of this touch, she reached up to softly trace his lips with her fingers. Looking up into her eyes a moment, they shared a smile, before his attention returned to his previous endeavor.

Sam watched Jack as he delicately traced circles around the center of her breast with his finger, before lowering his head to place a tender kiss at the tip through the fabric of her shirt. Hearing a deep moan seep from her lips, he began to explore the tip with his mouth. As he continued his sweet exploration, his hand slowly moved under her shirt to begin its climb upward. Reaching its goal, he grasped her breast firmly, massaging the tip with his thumb, as his mouth found hers again to kiss her deeply and with hunger. Feeling the passion igniting again, Sam lifted her leg around Jack's rear to bring him deeper within her body. Moaning in reply, his hand traveled off her breast to unhook her bra, when the clock struck the hour, causing them both to stiffen in response. Here was the reminder that they both didn't want to remember; they had run out of time. Sighing loudly, Jack slowly removed his hand from under her shirt, while Sam closed her eyes from the realization of the moment. Even waiting fifteen years for this didn't give them more than fifteen minutes together. Looking into his eyes, she saw the same pain in his that she felt herself.

"I have to go now, Jack," Sam quietly whispered.

"I know...I know you do," Jack softly spoke.

Neither one of them moved to untangle themselves from one another. Both smiled when they realized that neither one was going to move.

"It will be kinda hard to go through the Stargate like this, don't you think," he quipped.

"Not if you come with me," she retorted, as her leg tugged him further inside.

Fighting the urge to move within her, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath to regain his diminishing self-control. Opening them once more, he was hit with an overwhelming sense of loss at how he was going to lose her all over again.

"You know...I really could come with you," he said hesitantly.

Sam suddenly pulled back from him to stare questioningly at his face. As if he had said an inappropriate remark, he could feel her loosen her grip on him, as she lowered her leg to rest it on his calf.

"What? What are you thinking Sam...what's wrong?" he whispered.

"You don't have to do this just because we had sex you know," she bitterly remarked, her eyes lowering from his.

"I'm not saying this because we made love Sam, I'm doing this because I love you...and because I want to erase these last ten years. Oh, and save the planet and all that shit."

"Huh...well, when you put it that way," she said, grinning.

"So, how exactly do we get started?"

"Well, the others are waiting for me to hopefully come back with you, and then we were going to come up with our plan of defense."

"You know, our chances on surviving any of this--"

"I know...I know it's not real optimistic, but if we can accomplish this before..."

"Yeah...so...do you really think it's possible to go through the Stargate like this," Jack said grinning, as he brushed a stray hair from her eye.

Grinning herself, she leaned in to give him a gentle kiss. Parting, they simply stared at each other, as they knew that this was their very first and last time they'd be together like this.

Leaning in to kiss her nose, he used every bit of restraint that he could find, as he reluctantly withdrew from her body. Hearing Sam sigh at the loss of contact between them, he smiled to himself, as he slowly got off of the bed.

They never said a word to each other as they dressed, both lost in thoughts of everything that had and will happen. Jack was the first to finish, as he straddled a chair to watch her put on her shoes. Feeling his gaze upon her, she looked up to see him smiling sweetly at her, making her return his smile with one of her own.

"So, do you want to come with me now, or meet us somewhere?" she asked, leaning back on her arms against the bed.

"I'll meet you somewhere. Didn't you say we were going to send a ~note~ through to the future?"

"Yeah! So you want to meet us then? It would probably be easier to just come with me now Jack because I don't really know-"

"I just wanted to do something before I came to see you guys, that's all."

"Well, couldn't I just wait while you did this thing? I don't mean to rush you, but we--"

"You're not rushing me, it's just that I want to take care of a few things here incase I don't make it back."

Both knowing that that was more than a possibility made leaving this room even more difficult to do. Jack could see the whirlwind of emotions playing across Sam's face, as he stood up and walked over to her to offer his hand. Taking it, she threaded her fingers in his, as she stood up to stand before him.

"Can I help you with anything? Maybe I can--"

"No Sam honey," he whispered, brushing his thumb across her cheek, "Why don't you wait outside for me so I--"

"Outside? Can't I wait in here with you while--"

"No, I can't concentrate with you in here! Now, be a good Colonel and go wait in your car for me," he exclaimed, as he quickly led her to the door.

Smiling in spite of herself, she allowed Jack to escort her onto the porch.

"You know, if I didn't know better, I'd say you're kicking me out of your house," Sam said grinning.

"It's a cabin, and I'm not kicking you out, I'm helping you leave so I can get my work done, ~okay~," Jack retorted, while swatting her behind as she turned from him.

Turning abruptly to face him, they shared a mischievous smile, before she spun around to walk leisurely off the porch, turning her head every few feet to see if he was watching her.

Watching her go until she rounded the bend, he quickly went into his cabin and rushed to the bookcase to find a specific book. Upon finding it, he pulled it out and quickly went through the pages, hunting for the verse that he couldn't quite remember in detail. He knew he'd have to remember it right for this to work, as he haphazardly flipped through the pages, until he found the one he was looking for. Sighing in relief, he quickly sat down to read it, to memorize it. It was something silly that he and Sara used to do that he knew would work again, if only he could find a way to write it on the note without anyone asking about it. It had been years since he'd even read this passage, so he tried to memorize it in the few minutes he knew he had before Sam would come looking for him. Closing his eyes, he repeated it over and over until he knew that he had it locked in his head. Smiling to himself, he stood and walked over to replace the book on the shelf. As he turned around, he realized that he'd probably never see this place again, but the regret left him quickly as he made his way to the table to retrieve his keys and jacket. He knew this would work, he knew that if he could only leave himself a message on the note, he wouldn't make the same mistakes with Sam ~then~ as he did in their future. What if it wasn't just the Aschen that came between them, what if it wasn't Joe that crushed any chance of them being together, but ~himself~ that destroyed everything. These thoughts permeated in his mind as he made his way down the porch to stand in front of the cabin. Looking at his home one last time, he smiled and turned to leave, thinking for the first time in a long time that he actually had something to look forward to, or was it looking backwards to? He laughed out loud, thinking that making his brain try to work like that could kill him on the spot. Just as he was rounding the corner he saw her, sitting in her car staring out the window. He pulled himself back suddenly, not wanting her to see him just yet. Okay, he thought to himself, maybe just put the writer's initials somewhere on the note, some place inconspicuous as to not bring attention to it. The initials would definitely be easier than writing a few words. Leaning against the cabin, he closed his eyes and thought of how he and Sara used this code that they'd made up between themselves to send each other messages that they didn't want anyone else to know what they meant. They could always let each other know exactly what the other was thinking or feeling by picking out the story and the corresponding author. He hoped he'd picked out the right author to send the right message to himself. The short story that he'd chose was the one where the lead character died before he had the chance to tell his wife just how much he loved and needed her. The man was then sentenced to live out eternity on earth as a ghost watching her live her life, watching her marry another, have children with another, find happiness with another, while all he could do was sit back and observe it all with regret. Regret was something he knew real well, Jack thought, as he opened his eyes, feeling suddenly very old. All he had to do was put the initials somewhere on the note, not real big, and he knew that the Jack of that time would get it, maybe not right away, but he'd eventually figure it out. Their younger selves would know that the note came from the future, and that it was a warning to themselves, so to speak, so he knew that his other self would figure it out that the initials were a warning to ~him~ in particular. This was going to work, it had to work, he'd ~make~ it work, because even with everything they were trying to erase, this was the real thing that he was trying to change. The end of humanity was a lot more important than what he was trying to accomplish here, but he lost a lot more than his career ten years ago, he lost his soul. Suddenly hearing singing coming from around the corner, Jack peeked his head around it to see and hear Sam singing to a song on the radio. Smiling broadly, he watched her enjoying herself and thought that she had to be the most beautiful human being he'd ever seen in his entire life. At that moment he knew, he ~knew~ that everything was going to turn out all right, that they'd fix everything, and most important to himself, that he and Sam could be together, ~would~ be together if his younger self heeded his warning. Hearing her beautiful, off key singing again, he stood up straight, and taking a deep breath, began to walk towards her car. As if sensing his presence, she suddenly looked up and over to him as he approached. Turning a deep shade of red, she began to shake her head, knowing that he had heard her lovely singing.

"You weren't supposed to hear that, Jack!" she said with embarrassment, "I know how much you love nature and I'm afraid I might have killed some innocent creatures with what was coming out of my mouth."

"I heard it and I thought it was the most beautiful music I'd ever heard," he softly stated, as he reached in the window to brush a stray hair behind her ear.

"I think you're the only one on this planet that thinks that," she retorted, reaching out her own hand to encompass his, "So, are you coming with me, or taking your own car?"

"I'll go anywhere with you Sam, do anything for you...yes, I'm going with you in your car."

Standing up fully, he made his way around the car until he stood at the passenger door, taking one more look at everything he was leaving behind. Moving his hands to his face to rub his eyes, he suddenly realized that the scent of her was all over them. Bringing them in to deeply breath in her scent, he closed his eyes, remembering their sweet encounter, however brief it was.

"Hey out there, are you actually going to ride inside the car, or did you want to run beside it the whole way!"

"Oh, I thought I was the real smart ass around here," he retorted, as he opened the door and climbed in, "I guess I'm rubbing off on ya, eh?"

"Well, you were definitely rubbing me the right way a few minutes ago," she quipped with a smirk, as she turned the key in the ignition to start the car.

After about five tries it finally kicked over, and when Sam looked up at Jack with relief, she saw him staring at her with intensity.

"What?" she said, putting the car in drive.

"Just looking," he whispered gently.

Smiling fondly at him, she reached out to caress his cheek with her hand.

"You know, for someone who claims to not know the right things to say, you ~sure~ as hell do a great job!"

"Inspiration Sam...that's all I've ever needed."

Sam stared at him for a few moments, seeing how completely different he was now from the man he was when she came here. Could ~I~ have made that big of a difference, she thought to herself with a smile. Taking a deep breath to steady her nerves, she sat back against the seat.

"So, are we ready to do this, to completely change the future and mess with the timeline and arrogantly assume that everything will be alright?" she said mockingly.

"Sure, why not!" he retorted with mild sarcasm.

"Yeah...why not," she breathed anxiously, as she began to drive off.

Feeling his gaze upon her, she glanced over at him to see the dopiest smile on his face. Returning his smile, she looked back to the road for a moment only to turn toward him again. He was staring out the window now, but still had that grin plastered on his face. She's seen that grin before; it was the same kind he'd get when he'd unabashedly flirt with her. Blushing slightly at the unabated thoughts that came flooding to her mind, she shook her head slightly, telling herself to get a grip on it. At least she thought that's what the grin meant she joked to herself. Picking up speed, she stole another glance at him and smiled, telling herself that this had been a good day, a very good day.

'The End'