TITLE: "All My Dreams Torn Asunder"

AUTHOR: Vicki

EMAIL: little_miss_likes_to_fight@hotmail.com

CATEGORY: AU, Romance, Angst

SPOILERS: Major for "There But For the Grace of God"

SEASON / SEQUEL: 1

RATING: PG-13

CONTENT WARNINGS: AU, m/f relationships, AU character death.

PAIRING: AU Sam/Jack

SUMMARY: Looking further into the events that took place in "There But For the Grace of God"

STATUS: Complete

ARCHIVE: Archive: SJ yes, Heliopolis yes.  All others ask first

DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended.  Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author.  Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is my first Stargate fanfic - so please by gentle with me.  I watched "There But for the Grace of God" many times, and a few ideas hit me.  I never intended for it to follow the episode so closely, but once I started, there was no stopping me.

Feedback is welcome - just, no flames if you don't mind.  Constructive criticism is fine, but if you haven't got anything nice to say, then don't say it :-D

*    *    *

"Yea I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil."  Psalm 29

*    *    *

She woke in his arms.  The only place that she felt truly safe ever since this situation with the Goa'uld had first risen it's ugly head.  Turning her head, she could see the clock proclaiming that it was 5.59.  In another minute, their alarm would break the silence, and instead of Jack and Sam they would become General O'Neill and Doctor Carter.  Two of the most important people of the Genesis Project - ensuring that some survived the Goa'uld onslaught that had hit Earth. And even as she began to relax in her fiancé's arms, the alarm went off, and a new day of horror began. "Morning sweetheart," Jack mumbled, capturing her lips with his own.  It had always been their morning tradition, but now it was more urgent and passionate.  They both knew that when they woke up each morning, it could be their last.  And they were determined to have no regrets should they die before they managed to evacuate to the beta site. "Morning," Sam whispered as they finally broke apart.  There were no good mornings any more - the situation was continuously getting worse.  Only yesterday had Chicago been destroyed, along with all of Jack's family.  The worse thing was that Jack knew he could have saved them, but refused to expend resources on his on behalf.  When the news had come through, he had had to play the military man, seemingly indifferent on the outside, but Sam had seen him collapse inside.  As soon as they had been back in their quarters on the base, she had held him for over an hour, letting him cry, and crying herself.  It had only been last Easter that they had both gone up to Chicago together, and Sam had already been considered a member of the O'Neill family for many years now - in spirit, if not in name. "Sam," Jack began, hesitating slightly.  "Is there a priest on base?" A priest?  Sam wondered.  Jack had never been religious, but like many people, it seemed as though he was turning to faith to help him through the situation.  Sam herself had spent more time praying in the last four days than she had the rest of her life. "One went through the gate yesterday - I think there's another one coming tomorrow," she replied, mentally going through the list of Genesis travellers in her head. "Good," Jack replied.  "We're getting married tomorrow." So that's what his plan had been, Sam realised.  Looking into his chocolate brown eyes, she nodded.  No regrets. He caressed her cheek gently before rising and heading to the small bathroom.  One of the perks of being the base commander was the bathroom - instead of having to stumble out to the locker rooms that early in the morning.  Sam waited in the bed for a few minutes, until she heard the sound of running water.  Pulling off her night-dress as she walked across the room, she paused inside of the bathroom door. "Want me to do your back?"

* * *

Jack was in the briefing room, talking with Colonel Hammond and other officers, while Sam was reassuring one of the children who was just about to go through the gate. "It's fine - honestly," she told the little girl, who was clutching onto her mother's hand tightly.  "I've been through hundreds of times."  Slight exaggeration, but what did it matter? "Chevron seven locked," the technician announced, and the stargate opened with its normal 'kawoosh,' causing the little girl to jump back. Sam smiled at the little girl.  "It'll be an adventure, trust me."  Standing up, she nodded to the young airman who was escorting this group through.  There were a large number of children with this group, and Sam's heart was suddenly heavy as she realised that it was likely that Jake would have been in that group, if he had still been alive.  The fact that their son was no longer alive was the part that was causing pain in her heart.  She and Jack had talked about having another child, but hadn't managed to commit themselves to it before the Goa'uld had arrived.  A part of them both had died along with the little boy, and Sam knew that Jack blamed himself for leaving the gun out.  Initially, Sam had blamed him too, but after a couple of weeks, she had realised that it had been no one person's fault.  It had been a cruel twist of fate, and just as she and Jack had been getting on with their lives, another twist had thrown their world upside down as the Goa'uld attacked. Turning away, she headed towards the labs.  Although majority of its contents had been transferred, there were still some things there that needed to be sorted and prepared for transport if necessary.

* * *

She was in the control room when the news came in, and volunteered to take it to Jack. "Sam," a strange man was with Catherine and Jack as she ran up the stairs to the briefing room.  Sam looked at him in surprise, and then glanced at Catherine. "Who is this?"  She asked, not trying to hide the surprise in her voice. "Doctor Jackson," Catherine informed her.  "The young man who came through the stargate with the SG-1 remote code." "Of course," Jackson announced as Catherine was speaking, and Sam wondered what he meant.  And how did he know who she was? "Report Doctor," Jack ordered.  They were always Doctor and General to each other while on duty - that had been one of the first things they had decided on when they were both assigned to the stargate program.  They had slipped up a few times at first, but now in their time of crisis, maintaining their professionalism was even more crucial. "We've lost Washington and Philadelphia, sir," Sam announced, managing to keep her voice steady.  Jack had previously worked at the Pentagon, so they both knew people who would have been in Washington.  She kept eye contact with him, before turning to gauge the newcomer's reaction.  He appeared to be slightly bewildered. "I'm sorry, what do you mean by lost?"  Jackson asked, looking first at her and then at Jack. Sam just gaped at him, before turning to look at Jack.  Lost, as in no longer on the face of the Earth, as in completely and utterly destroyed, leaving no survivors.  What did the idiot think she meant?  Catherine had introduced him as a doctor - a doctor in what? "Show him," Jack ordered, and Sam waved her hand in the direction of the stairs, before turning to lead the way.  Actions spoke louder than words, or in this case, a map with lots of red dots on would.  Far too many red dots. Sam stood back as they reached the map, allowing Catherine to explain that every one of the red dots was a destroyed city. Jackson looked back at Sam, but her emotions were well in control.  She may not have been military, but what with both her father and husband-to-be being officers, and having worked side-by-side with the Airforce for a number of years, she was able to handle herself as well as most military personnel.  Her control over her emotions had served her well over the past few days, as she realised that her friends and family were all dying, while there was nothing she could do to save them. "Doctor Carter, there's another report coming on," a technician told her, and both she and Catherine turned and walked over to where a news anchor was reporting on the ships. "The Goa'ulds?"  Jackson asked, and Sam again wondered as to his IQ.  No, the Klingons - who else? She nodded.  "The ships appeared four days ago," she told him. The news anchor filled the visitor in on the rest of it - systematic annihilation of civilisation, no reply from communications and no survivors.

* * *

"Sir, isn't our mission to get the Genesis list through to the beta site," Sam asked her fiancé, as she sat in the control room, watching as the Jaffa home planet was dialled up.  Catherine and Jackson appeared behind her as she asked, although she didn't turn around to acknowledge their presence, instead watching Jack. "I think we'll try to stop the attack on Earth first," Jack replied, although Sam knew that a part of this was down to revenge.  She realised that she agreed with him, although she also knew that it was imperative to get the Genesis travellers off planet as soon as possible. "What is the Genesis list?  Beta site?  What does she mean?"  Jackson asked from behind her, and she was glad that Catherine was his guide and not her. As far as she was concerned, they didn't have time for all his questions, even though they might well be good ones. "We're evacuating everyone we can to another planet," Catherine replied, sorrow in her voice, as she knew - they all knew, that everyone one they could was a small number compared to those they couldn't.  "World leaders, scientists, doctors. "Priests, Sam mentally added on in her head.  If only they hadn't sent one through yesterday, it would likely that she would be Doctor O'Neill by now, as Jack would probably have ordered the service to have been performed first thing that morning. "You're sending a nuclear weapon to Chulak?"  Jackson asked incredulously, and Jack turned to look at him. "You got a problem with that?"  Jack wanted to know, not caring if this stranger did or not.  Jack hadn't made it to general by rethinking his orders every time someone questioned them, which was very rarely.  If he did, then he would never have made it out of the Gulf alive - a time which Sam truly wanted to forget, even though they had only officially been 'friends.' "The Jaffa aren't your enemy," Jackson replied.  "They're just slaves." "Okay, try to comprehend what's going on here," Jack told him, turning to face the younger man.  Sam heard the harshness in her lover's voice, and knew that Jackson had taken him too far.  "We estimate the death toll of Earth as one point five billion."  There was an emphasis on the billion, and Sam swallowed at the thought.  She had been with Jack when that estimate had been brought to him, and saw the pain that came with it.  "Who do you think is flying those ships trying to blow up our world?"  Jack paused long enough for Jackson to think about the answer.  "You give me one good reason why I shouldn't be striking back" There was a long pause, and for a couple of seconds, Sam thought that the man had no answer.  Chevron seven had been locked, and the gate was now open to Chulak. "They don't have a choice," Jackson declared, and Jack turned away. "Send the bomb," he ordered.  Sam knew that Jack hated people who declared that they had no choice - it was the same excuse that Jack's former commanding officer had given when they'd left him behind in an Iraqi prison for fourth months.  Those had been the longest four months of Sam's life, and it had been during that time she had come to realise what her father's protege had come to mean to her.  And he must have made the same realisation, for when they had been reunited, he had taken her in his arms and had never let go, promising that he would never leave her again. The bomb was sent through, the iris locked, and Jack told the technician to proceed with the evacuation until the next warhead was ready. "You know that there are innocent human beings on most of the Goa'uld planets don't you?"  Jackson had to ask.  Jack turned to him, while Sam watched Jack carefully. "Unless this man has more information that we can use I don't want to see him again," Jack declared, leaving them.  Sam just watched him go, knowing that it would be wrong for her to go and comfort him, no matter how much he might need it at that moment in time.  Jack hated harming innocent people. Jake had been innocent. Jackson turned away; mumbling to himself and Sam just looked up at Catherine.  Suddenly, he turned back to face them.  "Is it... is it possible that the... the stargate... malfunctioned or went...haywire and I came through into a totally, screwed-up, different version of Earth." Sam rose, waving her hand around, illustrating her points.  Jack had always teased her about getting over passionate about her science, and especially about matters concerning the stargate. "No, I doubt that," she announced.  "The stargate uses space time to create a wormhole that allows us to travel across great distances, but it doesn't take you to an alternate reality." "Alternate reality?"  Jackson queried.  Sam wished that he had been someone with at least a bit of knowledge concerning astrophysics, instead of what he did know, which appeared to be just a few stargate addresses. She thought for a minute, trying to put it in language simple enough for even Jack to understand.  As much as she loved him, they were both well aware that his grasp of science left much to be desired.  "Well, basically scientists have theorised that there are an infinite number of dimensions, each containing a different possible version of reality." "Well, it sounds like I theoretically... possibly... actually found one," Jackson declared, still trying to comprehend what had happened to him. "One what?"  Catherine asked. "What Sam said," Jackson replied, and Sam still found it strange having him refer to her as though they were friends.  Still, it wasn't exactly the time to remind him to call her Doctor.  "A... uh alternate reality... a parallel plane.  Wouldn't that explain why everything here is the same..." Sam felt a headache coming on, and buried her face in her hands. "... but, different," Jackson continued.  "I mean... Sam interrupted, lowering her hands from her face.  "Okay, the theory is, that there are an infinite number of alternate realities.  Some of them are very different and some are almost identical." "That has to be what this is," Jackson exclaimed. Sam just looked at him.  He was so passionate about discovering what had happened to him, probably so he could get back, she rationalised.  She knew that if she were the one in an alternate reality - if that was what this was to him - she would be trying to get back the minute she got there. "So this isn't my world at all.  This is some sort of..." Jackson started to laugh, and Sam wondered what was so funny.  "Other dimension?" "Yeah, but the stargate wouldn't cause that," Sam protested.  He wasn't really listening to her - he was only listening to the bits he wanted to hear.  She had studied the stargate for years, and she knew that it couldn't take you to alternate realities. "Maybe it wasn't the stargate that caused it," Catherine spoke up, and Sam turned to look at her. "What are you suggesting?"  The younger woman asked, curiosity in her voice. "He found a mirror, possibly made of Naquadah," Catherine told her, turning to look at the astrophysicist.  "On P3R233." "All of this started to happen after I touched it," Jackson informed her. "P3R233?"  Sam questioned, repeating the familiar numbers. "What?  Have you been there?" "Yes," she replied, surprise in her voice, but before she could say anything else there was a call of "Off-world activation," and she turned to look at the stargate. "Close the blast doors and keep the iris sealed," she ordered.  It didn't matter that she wasn't military - she carried more authorisation than most of the officers stationed there anyway. "Receiving a coded transmission from Airforce one," a young woman told her. "Notify General O'Neill," Sam ordered a young airman nearby.  "Catherine," she turned to the older woman next to her.  "The rest of the Genesis travellers will have to be briefed and ready to go." "Right," Catherine replied, leaving Jackson as Sam headed over to the control panel by the map. She had only been there for a minute or so before Jackson came over and studied the map. "Uh oh," he announced. "What?"  Sam asked, hoping that it wasn't more bad news. "I think I'm dead," he announced. "What?"  She asked, confused.  He was looking pretty healthy for a dead guy if you asked her. "Uh, the me in this reality," Daniel replied. Any further chance of a conversation was interrupted by the voice of Colonel Hammond. "What is Voyager's status Doctor?" "The President's plane is ten minutes from Pearson airforce base, sir," she told him. "Another coded transmission in progress," the same young woman told them from her station. "Relay it through the decoder, and patch it through speaker," Sam ordered, despite there being senior air force officers now present.  Jack was on the phone, and she walked across the room to join him even as a disembodied voice came through the speaker. "Enemy craft... pursuit... can not evade..." "Surface radar is tracking," the gate technician announced.  Sam felt fear well up inside her.  They all knew what the enemy craft were capable of. "That's one of the big ones," Jack told them as the radar came up on the screen in front of them, even though they could see that for themselves. "Look how fast it's moving," Sam added on, slightly dazed.  It was certainly closing fast on Air Force One." "We're under fire!  Help!"  The voice came through the speakers, and then there was nothing.  AIRFORCE 1 TRACKING LOST came up on the screen, and Sam just stared at the words in horror.  The words disappeared, but she still stared at the radar dot representing the Goa'uld ship. "It's heading straight for us," she announced slightly breathlessly, thankful for Jack's physical presence nearby. "Confirm airman," Jack ordered, not specifying any one person. "Trajectory confirmed.  ETA... one minute," the confirmation that she hadn't wanted, but knew was coming, came. "Damn it," Jack swore.  "Evacuation code red." "It's been confirmed that enemy ships have the firepower to reach us even this far underground," Sam announced in a flat voice. "And we're stuck here as long as the gate's under attack," Hammond added. "Enemy ship is slowing down.  Visual tracking in ten seconds," the airman told them. An ominous rumbling could be heard, and they all looked up at the monitor above them, showing the shadow of the ship passing over the top of Cheyenne Mountain, before hovering over the top. "If they fire on us, chances are we won't even feel it," Sam announced, hoping that it would provide everyone around her with some comfort.  They were all going to die that much was obvious, but at least it would be painless.  And she would be with Jack.  "The blasts on the East Coast were the equivalent of two ton nuclear warheads." "It's not going to fire," Jackson announced, staring at the screen. "What?"  Sam asked "It's landing," Jackson told them, and as they watched, they could see that he was right. "Colonel Hammond, check the surveillance cameras," Jack ordered.  "We'll meet in the briefing room in fifteen minutes.  Doctor Carter - if you'll come with me."  Sam followed him up to the briefing room. "What is it General?" she asked once they were up there.  Her question was  answered as he lowered his lips to hers in a bruising kiss. "I just wanted to do that," he told her, brushing a lock of blonde hair away from her face.  "No regrets." "None at all," she confirmed, one hand drifting towards her pocket, where she kept a picture of Jake.  Jack sat at the head of the table, and pulled her onto his lap.  "Not that I'm complaining, but don't you have to be somewhere else?" "Not until Hammond reports in," he told her.  "You're all I need at the moment Sam.  Don't deny me that." "Never."

* * *

"The surveillance cameras outside the main tunnel entrance show Jaffa assembling what appears to be a weapon," Hammond reported as they all stood in the briefing room.  "Looks like their coming in the front door, sir." Jack processed the information for a second.  "Alright.  Post automatic weapons here and here," he ordered, pointing them out on the complex blueprints on the table.  "Men in all these halls.  Cut off every access to this level.  Blow the secondary elevator shaft now." "If the men at the surface have to fall back...."  Hammond began. "There's only gonna be one way down," Jack replied.  "I want all non essential personnel through the gate to the beta site ASAP," he continued, looking Sam straight in the eyes, trying to persuade her to go too.  Her eyes held his gaze, defiant and unflinching.  She would not leave without him, and he knew that.  "Doctor Langford, that includes you and our guest." "Sir, the Goa'ulds have been keeping the wormhole established from off world," Sam reported back.  She hated to be the bearer of bad news, but he had to know. "That's probably because you sent that bomb through to Chulak," Jackson retorted.  He just didn't know when to keep his mouth shut, Sam realised. "The point is unless we get another window of opportunity to open the gate from here we're all stuck," Sam snapped at their guest, before turning to look back at Jack. "Recommendations?"  He asked, no emotion in his voice betraying how he was feeling. "Well, under normal circumstances when we have full power, we can only keep a wormhole established for about a half hour," Sam replied.  "There may be a restriction as to how long the Goa'uld can keep theirs active from off world." "So there's a time limit," Jack summarised.  Normally when he did that there was a hint of smile playing across his face.  Today there was nothing. "Right," Sam replied, studying her fiancé's face intently.  He turned to look at Hammond and the other officer present before leaving without saying another word.

* * *

"The first part sounds like a derivation of Ancient Egyptian," Jackson announced, after having listened through the recording a couple of times.  Sam moved away from the stairs, and closer towards the man she now knew was a linguist and archaeologist. "We couldn't recognise it," Catherine replied. "Oh, you didn't learn how to speak it out loud on Abydos," Jackson replied.  Catherine looked up at Sam, who gave back the look of the long suffering.  Learning the language hadn't been one of their top priorities on Abydos. Jackson listened a bit more, then pressed pause.  "Where did this come from?" he asked. "It's a deep space transmission our receivers picked up about three months ago," Catherine told him. "So, why are you showing it to me now?"  Jackson wanted to know, puzzlement evident in his voice. "Because the transmission originated from the same quadrant of space as P3R233," Sam told him, hoping that Catherine's intuition was right, and they weren't wasting their time there. "Where your mirror is," Catherine added. Another large explosion caused the room to shake slightly, and the lights to flicker.  Automatically, the three looked up.  Sam could only hope that Jack was safe. "We went to 233 after we received the transmission, but the civilisation had been destroyed by the Goa'uld," Sam continued, only half her mind on the conversation they were having.  "We didn't find any mirror though." Jackson began to write, and Sam read over his shoulder "Beware the
destroyers." "Some of these 233 aliens must have sent out a warning before their civilisation was destroyed by the Goa'uld," Catherine theorised. "What does the rest say?"  Sam wanted to know, hoping that they could learn something that might help them. "It just says 'They come from' but the sentence isn't complete.  This is more sounds... pulses or beats of some kind." "We've analysed them..." Another explosion - this one the worse yet.  Sam tried not to think of Jack - instead concentrating on the conversation.  "They're in groups - three, thirty two, sixteen, eight, ten and twelve." "That's six numbers," Jackson stated. "Yeah," Sam replied.
"That's a stargate address without the point of origin," he exclaimed.  "Beware the destroyers - they come from three, thirty two, sixteen, eight, ten and twelve." "The aliens on 233 found out where the Goa'uld attack originated?"  Catherine asked in amazement. "What?  Like a Goa'uld home world?"  Sam asked, looking at Catherine. "Well, at least a military base," Jackson conceded.  "They must have assigned a number to each symbol on the stargate.  It's a code.  All we need to do is figure out which symbol the aliens used to represent the number one and start counting from there." "Well, the only unique symbol they would have is the point of origin for
233," Sam told them. "But that symbol may not even be on our stargate," Catherine reminded them. "Except I have the alien gate on tape," Jackson informed them, reaching for his bag, which lay on the table. "What?"  Sam asked.  Jackson pulled out a video camera, and all became
clear.  However, she soon forgot about it when there was a familiar sound.  Catherine rushed to the observation window. "The gate is off," she exclaimed, following Sam down the stairs to the
control room. "Start dialling the address for the beta site," Sam ordered, as she ran across the control room, seating herself at one of the gate control stations. "Chevron one is already encoded," the technician told her. "If we can dial in before the Goa'uld can re-establish a wormhole, we'll be able to get out of here," she informed those who weren't sure what was happening.  They'd all be able to get through the gate, even if she had to drag Jack there by his hair.  She was not going to leave without him - that was for sure. "Chevron two encoded."
"Can they dial in here once we've started dialling out?"  Jackson wanted to know. "Yes," Sam replied.  "We have to get the seventh chevron locked in order to stop an incoming wormhole." "Chevron three encoded."  Three down - four to go.  Sam's heart was in her mouth. "Chevron four encoded."  Another explosion, and another flicker in the lights.  They needed to get out before it was too late. "Chevron five encoded." "Come on, come on, come one," Jackson murmured, staring intently at the stargate as though it would turn faster. Then the words that Sam had been dreading came up on her screen - OFF WORLD ACTIVATION.  "No!"  She cried in frustration and despair. "Off world activation," the technician called, even as they saw the familiar blue wormhole form behind the iris. "Can you make the computer dial out any faster next time?"  Catherine asked.  Their roles had been reversed briefly - she was giving orders, allowing Sam the chance to calm herself. "I'll see what I can do," Sam promised, only hoping what she could do would be enough. "How long can the Goa'uld keep the wormhole active?" "Well, based on the start and end of their last activation, it looks like they can keep one established from off world for," she paused, and looked at the figure in horror.  "Thirty eight minutes."  She hung her head in despair, even as Jackson told them that they might not have that much time.

* * *

"This symbol has to be the point of origin," Jackson announced, as he finished drawing in the chevrons underneath the numbers.  Sam turned away from him as she heard footsteps approaching the room.  Her heart lifted when she saw Jack enter. "How's it going up there gentlemen?"  Hammond asked, even as they heard the rumble of an explosion and the subsequent brief failure of the lights. "We're getting the crap beaten out of us," Jack replied, not mincing his words.  "How's it going here?" "I'm estimating that it'll be twenty five before we can try opening the gate again," Sam told him, wishing that she had better news. "And when we do, Doctor Langford here has presented us with an interesting dilemma," Hammond added.  Sam was only thankful that she didn't have to tell Jack about the new development that had come up.  "She seems to think that we have been handed the address to a Goa'uld home world, possibly where this attack originated." "We'll send a bomb through," Jack announced, as Sam knew he would. "Excuse me?"  Jackson asked, and Sam rolled her eyes.  Not again, she thought to herself.  "Uh, I'm sorry and I know you all think of me as an outsider here, but what good will that do?  I mean, forget the fact that it won't change what's happening here, how do you know that they don't have some kind of iris like yours?  I mean, this could all be for nothing." Jackson did have a point, Sam realised.  "Yeah, we probably only have one shot at dialling out," Sam reminded her fiancé.  "If we use that one opportunity to dial a Goa'uld world, we'll never get out of here ourselves." She could see that Jack was torn, but he didn't get a chance to say anything before Catherine spoke up. "My God."  She moved to where Jackson's video had resumed play, and was now showing footage of Colonel O'Neill and Captain Carter. "What the hell's that?"  Jack asked, walking over to the screen.  Sam had already turned, and was watching, absolutely fascinated. "My reality," Jackson replied, proudly, glancing briefly up at Jack. "We are actually looking at ourselves in a parallel universe," Sam stated, a smile forming on her face, as it was proof of yet another science theory that many had dismissed as being part of science fiction.  First wormholes, and now alternate realities.  "Another version of our lives that actually exists.  It's incredible." "It's supposed to be theoretical," Jack reminded her, trying to keep her focused on the problems they were facing.  However, her scientific curiosity had been piqued.
"Not any more.  What first began with Einstein's theories about relativity..." She was interpreted by Hammond asked, "Who's this?" when an unknown man appeared on screen. "That is Teal'c," Jackson told them.  "Big guy, gold emblem on his head and Goa'uld in his stomach." "I just saw him on the security camera," Catherine stated, feeling slightly weak.  "He's the Jaffa that led the invasion in the base." "Well, he was, and probably is the first prime of Apophis," Jackson explained.  "He would be in charge of the most important mission.  Look, this is gonna sound pretty selfish, but from where I come from, none of this has happened yet.  In my reality, the Earth that I know still has a chance."  Jackson was right - it did sound pretty selfish, Sam thought.  She didn't want to give up the chance that she and Jack still had together. "You wanna explain that?"  Jack also didn't like the sound of where this was going.
"If this address really does lead to the Goa'uld world where this attack originated, then I can get this information back to my world and maybe I can stop this..." "Wait a minute," Jack interrupted.  "Let me get this straight.  You want us to give up what might be our last chance to strike back at the Goa'uld so we can save ourselves in a... what?"  He turned back to look at Sam, as always relying on her. "Alternate reality," she reminded him, used to having to repeat anything vaguely scientific to him. "Not just yourselves.  Everyone on Earth," Jackson tried to justify. "Your Earth," Jack reminded him. "The Jack O'Neill that I know would do it," the younger man told him, trying to pressurise and influence Jack's decision. "Well, apparently, you and I have never met," Jack threw back in his face. "No, I guess not," Jackson replied, completely calm.  There was a pause, and they could hear the automatic guns firing, knowing soon that the Goa'uld would soon be on top of them.  "Look, all I know is that because I came here, I've seen what can happen.  Now I have a chance to keep this from happening to the Earth that I come from if you help me." "How much time Doctor?" Sam looked down at her watch - the one he had given her last year for her birthday.  "Twenty two minutes." "Alright, so the argument is academic.  We can never hold them that long anyway."  His voice was neutral, as he voiced what all of them knew, but none of them wanted to say. Jackson thought for a second.  "Well maybe we can buy some time," he suggested. "How?"  Jack wanted to know, willing to do anything to try and evacuate those who were left.  Willing to do anything to make sure that Sam survived. "Not how.  Who." She knew immediately what was going to happen.  And what was not going to happen.

* * *

They watched on the security camera the Jaffa known as Teal'c.  The one who had joined them in the fight against the Goa'uld in Doctor Jackson's reality.  Or at least they did, until he shot it with his staff weapon. "Woah," Jack commented.  Sam looked at him, worried.  "You're kidding, right?" "You saw the video tape," Jackson reminded him.  "In my reality, Jack O'Neill convinced Teal'c to betray Apophis to save our lives.  Teal'c gave up everything for a slim chance that we could help free his people from slavery."  But this wasn't his reality Sam wanted to remind him. "It doesn't exactly look like we could help him do anything right now," Jack pointed out.  "Keep it in mind that we just sent of a bomb to his planet.  There might not be anything left for him to save." "Not in this universe," was Jackson's counter. Jack turned away, and rubbed his hand over his eyes.  Sam was willing to bet that he was suffering from a headache too; only his was being caused by his conflicting interests as the commander of the base, and as a human being.  "You expect me to explain all this to him, don't you?"  She could hear the unspoken 'without Sam prompting me' at the end of his sentence.  She had never left him to struggle with science on his own - not even in the official reports.  He had always called her a Godsend - his own angel. "He's very smart.  I bet he'll understand."  Jackson was determined for Jack to go and talk to this Jaffa, and Sam knew that he would do it, if only to buy her some time to escape. "How do you know that he's even remotely the same Jaffa that you know in your universe?"  Sam had to ask, hoping that she would able to dissuade Jack from going, although she knew in her heart that he had made up his mind.  Nothing she could say would stop him. "Not everything's the same here," Catherine was backing up her point.  The older woman had told Sam of how she had lost her true love Earnest, and didn't want Sam to suffer the same with loosing Jack "No, it's not, but it is close.  Look, I know what I'm asking here is insane."  Yeah, he got that right, Sam thought.  "Look, if you don't want to help me here I'll understand.  It's your lives and it's your world."  She looked at Jack.  Was loosing him worth the survival of all those who remained alive in the base?  Could she live without him, should they make it through to the beta site with the time he bought for them?  She swallowed as he turned to look at her, love in his eyes, asking for her approval.  She refused to commit, promising to back him whatever he chose. "All I really have to do is buy a little time.  Few minutes to get the gate open, right?"  Sam knew that she'd been right - he'd made up his mind and she wouldn't be able to make him change it, not with anything in their universe.  She wondered if it would be different if Jake had still been alive... or if they had any other children.  Would he want to run the risk of making them fatherless, especially if they had already gone through to the beta site?  She knew that these thoughts were pointless - he had no children to worry about anymore, but at least they were preventing her from focusing on a situation that she didn't want to face.  She had had nightmares about it before, about losing Jack, but when she had awoken from her fitful sleep, he was always there by her side.  There to reassure her, to calm her and lull her back to sleep, promising that he would never leave her.  Sam only wished that she could wake up from this nightmare, and be safe in his arms once again.
"That videotape of you and that Jaffa together should catch his attention," Catherine knew too - she was trying to give Jack every chance of survival. "You're going to talk to this guy about alternate realities?"  Hammond asked, disbelief in his voice, as Jackson went off to fetch the videotape.  Sam looked at the floor, blinking back a few errant tears that were starting to creep into her eyes.  She was about to loose the only other person that meant anything to her.  First Jake and now Jack... her life was being torn away from her piece by piece; death seemed to be lurking at every corner.  Jack only turned back to acknowledge the junior officer, before turning to face away from Sam.  He could not afford any weakness, and she was his Achilles heel. She moved a few paces closer to him, forcing him to look at her.  "Do you really think he's right about this Jaffa?"  They were gambling his life on the word of someone who claimed to have come from an alternate dimension.  What if the Jaffa shot him on sight?  He turned to look at her, keeping his voice neutral. "He was right about my son."  She swallowed as he called Jake 'his son.'  Jake had always been his father's son, and Jack had joked that Sam would have to have 'her daughter.'  Of course, Jake had always been her son when he had been naughty, although that hadn't been too often. "Thank you," Jackson told him, as he handed the tape over.  Jack looked down at the tape, and then across at Sam, reminding himself as to why he was doing it.  His life didn't matter; only hers did. This isn't right, her mind screamed.  We were going to get married tomorrow.  We were going to evacuate to the beta site.  We were going to have children.  It wasn't meant to be like this. She felt a sudden misplaced flash of loathing towards this Doctor Jackson.  If it weren't for him, then Jack wouldn't have to be going to talk to this Teal'c.  Then she realised that it wasn't his fault.  It was all the Goa'ulds, for if they hadn't attacked Earth, then none of this would be happening.  She had happened to glance at a calendar that morning.  It was Saturday.  Be it not for the invasion, then they would be at home, probably on the porch, curled up in each other's arms.  But instead she was watching him walk off to talk to the enemy, allowing them enough time to save themselves. "I think this is where you all wish me good luck," Jack quipped. Luck was not enough; nothing short of a miracle would save him and they both knew it.  He turned to leave, and Sam managed to choke out "Jack." Moving towards him, they stood and looked at each other.  She took the first step, wrapping her arms around his neck.  His arms went around her waist, and he pulled her close.  Tears were brimming in her eyes, but she refused to let them spill.  They melded into one, his familiar scent tickling her nose. Wrapping herself in the familiarity, no words were needed.  She knew that this was the last time that she would ever feel safe.  He was not going to come back, and all in the room knew it. "I take it they're not engaged in your reality," she could hear Catherine remark behind her. He kissed her briefly, and she caressed his cheek briefly, mimicking what he had done to her that morning.  It seemed so long ago now, that they were lying together in bed, discussing marriage. "No," Jackson replied, and she wondered why that was.  She didn't think that there could ever be a time or a place when she didn't love Jack as much as she did there. She stood and watched him go, her hand over her mouth, refusing to cry.  He didn't look back. When she could no longer hear his footsteps, she turned to look at Catherine, her blue eyes brimming with tears. "I'll meet you in the control room in a few minutes," she choked out.  She would not let them see her cry.

* * *

"Okay - I've got the dialling time down another five seconds.  Now all we need is that wormhole to destabilise," Sam told Catherine, as they sat in the control room.  Her mind strayed onto thoughts of Jack, wondering how he was doing.  If he was still alive... "Airman, we're going to need all the help we can get out there."  The arrival of Colonel Hammond distracted her from her thoughts, and she made herself concentrate as he started to talk to her.  "We should set the base autodestruct sequence to blow up two minutes past the S-band window of opportunity forced open the stargate.  If the Goa'ulds want this place in one piece, I intend to disappoint them."  Sam agreed, and began to type the necessary commands and authorisation codes needed.  Her heart ached as she typed Jack's, which he had given to her at the beginning of the invasion, knowing that if he were killed, she would be able to set the autodestruct sequence using her codes and his.  The red type flashed up on the screen DESTRUCT SEQUENCE ACTIVATED, even as the audio warning confirmed it.  This was it - there was to be no turning back.  The Jaffa who had invaded this base would die, even if they had to die along with them.  Again her hand slipped to her pocket, and held the crumpled photo of Jake.

* * *

"Four minutes.  You two better get into the gate room," Catherine told the two younger doctors. "Catherine," Sam protested.  She was not going to leave her friend by herself - she had already let Jack go alone, and was not going to do the same here "No arguments Doctor," Catherine said a tone of voice that Sam knew she shouldn't argue with; the fact that she had used her title instead of her name meaning that she was deadly serious.  "They need you at the beta site." "What about you?"  Jackson obviously didn't know that he shouldn't argue with the older woman once she had made up her mind.  A bit like Jack, her mind immediately made the correlation, and her heart jumped at the thought of him. "As soon as I've set the dialling process I'll join you," Catherine assured him.  "Go." Getting up from her seat, she paused as Jackson started to talk to Catherine.  "If this mirror really is a doorway between our dimensions, I might be able to send help to you from my reality, or even have you come through to my Earth," he told her.  Sam knew that any reinforcements that he would be able to bring through would be too late, but she kept silent. "Wait a second," Catherine stopped them.  " If that device you brought is a remote control to the mirror then you may need it."  Sam realised that they had left it in the briefing room, along with a small stash of weapons. "Go ahead, I'll get it," she told Jackson, running in the direction of the stairs.  Her heart was pounding as she picked up the small device. She could hear noises.  They were coming ever closer, and she worked out that she would not make it to the control room in time, should she try and run for it.  The fact that the Goa'uld were on the move also meant that Jack had failed.  That he was dead. Sam made up her mind.  She would not run.  She would stay there, and make a last, defiant stand.  And join Jack. Jaffa filed into the room.  At least nine staff weapons were pointing at her "I surrender," she cried.  She didn't have to act frightened, for she was.  Not of death, but fear that her plan wouldn't work.  Fear that this invasion would happen in Doctor Jackson's universe.  Fear that her and Jack's counterparts would never know the love that they had known in her reality.  "I have information that can help Apophis.  There is technology that he will want to know about.  This is a remote control to an inter-dimensional portal."  The remote was still in her hand, and she only hoped that they understood what she was saying.  "I can tell Apophis how to find it." "Ashac tree-ac," the Jaffa who appeared to be in charge told her, and she wondered where the one called Teal'c was.  Had Jack killed him before he died?  Going out in a blaze of glory like she was about to do?  Guessing the words to be 'hand it here' or similar, she gave it to him. "Thank you," Sam told the Jaffa, even as she reached behind her back.  The cool metal was somehow comforting.  She was to be reunited with her loved ones: her parents, her brother and his family, her son and her fiancé.  "Oh yeah, and I also wish to blow us all to hell."  She held up the grenade, and time seemed to slow.  As she pulled the pin, she lived a lifetime.  Chasing her brother through fields in Indiana... her mother's death when she was fourteen... graduating top of her class from high school, despite being two years younger than the rest of them... meeting Jack for the first time...  The despair she felt when she heard that he was missing in action in Iraq, and the relief when he returned safe to her... the joy she had felt when she discovered that she was pregnant with Jake... and the horror when he shot himself.  The serenity she had felt only when she was in Jack's arms... and the heartbreak she had felt when she realised that he was going to sacrifice himself to try and save her and the others. "Jack..."

* * *

~ Finis ~

All feedback to little_miss_likes_to_fight@hotmail.com.  Go on - you know you want to!

Copyright Vicki Pryke 2002