Title: Letting Go

Author: Emma Beadle

E-mail: e.beadle1@ntlworld.com

Story status: complete

Series/ sequesl info: none

Season: None in particular

Spoliers: None

Categories: Romance/Angst

Rating: General

Summary: Two people are getting married

Archive: SJD yes. Anybody else, please ask.

Disclaimer: Anypublicly recognisable characters do not belong to me. They belong to MGM and their associates.

Notes:This is a Sam and Jack story with a difference. For what i am about to do, please forgive me.

He was dead. Sam knew that in her head, it was just her heart that was having trouble accepting it. It had been six months since he died and she still walked into work and expected him to be there, sitting behind his desk and smiling at her.

It had been hard on everybody when he died, especially considering how it happened. After everything they had been through, all the near misses and close calls, it was finally a burst appendix that had killed him. It just seemed wrong somehow.

The other members of the SGC had taken it hard as well. Dying in action was a part of everyday life in the military. It was accepted, expected even. Nobody was supposed to die from something so simple as appendicitis.

Janet, naturally, blamed herself. When they had first bought him back through the Stargate, she had worked on him for two hours. They had been the longest two hours of Sam's life, but in the end even Janet had to admit that she had failed and then she broke down and cried, which started Sam crying as well. The remaining members of SG1 and General Hammond looked at each other and then left the room. They knew that the two women would be able to comfort each other better than they could ever hope to.

The atmosphere on base had been very strange those first few days after he had died. Every time Sam or one of the others ahd gone into a room where people were enjoying themselvs, everything would go quiet. It was as if they felt guilty for having fun when others were in so much pain. Things were a little better after the funeral. People had gradually started treating them normally again. It had taken time though, and there were still moments when Sam could tell that people had been talking about him. She didn't mind talking about him now. Now the memories bought smiles and laughter more often than tears.

The hardest part for all of them had been clearing out his office and apartment. General hammond had offered to get somebody else to do it, but the surviving members of SG1 had insisted. He was a member fo their team, and it was thier responsibility. There had been a few small bequests in his will, mostly to Sam and the other team memberes but there had also been somethin for Janet, Cassandra and General Hammond. The rest of his stuff was to be disposed of as they saw fit and most of it went to anybody on the base who wanted something to remember him by. They had never guessed how popular he atually was, Sam doubted if he even knew how many people had respeted and admired him.

If there was one thing that Sam felt guilty about after he died, it was that she had never told him how much he meant to her, how much she had loved him. he had frequently been as irritating as hell, getting them into all sorts of trouble but he had usually been the one to get them out of it as well. With his endearing smile and innocent look, he knew that she would never be able to stay mad at him for long. He was right, but those first few months after he died she had been furious with him for leaving her, leaving them. She thought she was never going to be able to forgive him for that but she had gradually come to accept that anger at the deceased was a normal part of the grieving process. A process she had to go through before she could accept that he was gone.

She didn't like to think of him as being dead, instead she preferred to think about him as just gone away somewhere. It had made the pain of knowing that she wouldn't be seeing him every day easier to deal with. She knew that one day they would all be together again and that bought her comfort enough that she could get on with life.

Sam smiled as she thought of how much life had changed in the last six months. They had been assigned a new team member and it hadn't been easy at first, but gradually they had all come to accept each other. There were still days when she would forget and turn to speak to him, but instead of making her cry those moments now made her smile. She knew he would find it funny that she was trying to talk to somebody that wasn't there anymore. Janet had been a mess those first two weeks, but having Cassie had helped and eventually she had come thorugh it okay. Like Sam, she still had bad days but they were getting fewer and fewer and easier to deal with.

The biggest change though had been in her own life. She had fallen in love and now she was a few minutes away from getting married. It had been as much a surprise to her as it had been to everybody else. She had never expected to get married. Until that point, her life had been devoted to the military, but things had changed. She didn't think she would be able to work at the SGC without him there so she had quit the military, but General Hammond had insisted that she continue working for the SGC in a civilian capacity. She hadn't wanted to at first, but he had finally persuaded her with the help of the rest of the team.

Sam looked at her watch and sighed. It was almost time. It didn't seem right somehow, getting married without him but she knew that he would be there in spirirt. She leant forward to light one of the candles she always kept burning in his memory and smiled. She hoped he would be happy that two of his best friends were getting married.

She had just straightened up when there was a knock on the door.

"It's open."

Janet came into the room and stopped to look at Sam in all her wedding finery. She smiled. "You look so beautiful, I might start crying again."

Sam hugged her friend. "Please don't," she whispered. "There's been enought tears around here to last a lifetime. Today is a new beginning, only laughter from now on. Got it?"

Janet nodded. "Got it. So, you ready to go? You've kept the poor man waiting for long enough."

Sam laughed. "I'm finally ready. let's go."

They turned to leave the room when Janet remembered something. "Oh, I've got something for you from Cassie." She handed Sam a long black box.

Sam was surprised. "What is it?"

"Open it and see," Janet said, smiling.

Sam gasped when she saw the beautiful pearl necklace inside the box. She couldn't believe that Cassie was trusting her with them. They were her most treasued possession.

"I can't wear these. He left his mothers pearls to her not to me."

Janet smiled as she fastened them around Sam's neck. "She wants you to weat them. It's so he'll be a part of the day even though he's not here."

Sam was trying not to cry as she looked at her photo of the man who had enriched so many peopled life's. They stood there in silence for a minute, each lost in their own thoughts.

The door suddenly opened and General Hammond came in. "Come on, you two. He's waiting."

"We're ready now, Sir."

General Hammond took their arms and started to lead them from the room. "Good," he said. "Sam, your father's waiting for you outside. Janet may I escort you?"

Janet giggled as she let him lead her to her seat in the base chapel where the ceremony was going to take place.

Sam took a deep breath as her father led her down the asile to the man waiting for her at the altar.

As they said their vows, they both looked at the photo set into the middle of one of the flowere displays. In honour of his memeory, thay hed decided to get married on his birthday. She hoped he wouldn't mind.

"Please be happy for us," Sam thought as she kissed her husband for the first time. "I'll always love you, but it's time for all of us to move on and get on with our lives."

Sam could have sworn she smelt his aftershave and felt a kiss on her cheek just as the Chaplain announced to the congregation. "ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Mr and Mrs Jackson."

Amid all the clapping and congratulations that filled tha air, Daniel distinctly heard a voice whisper in his ear. "Make her happy, Danny-boy. If you don't, I'll come back and make your life miserable."

Daniel smiled. Even from the grave Colonel Jack O'Neill was watching over his team.

The End.

A/N: Believe me this story was never meant to turn out this way. It was meant to be Daniel that died but just before writing it I saw the episode where Daniel had appendicitis. I started thinking about how it would affect everybody if it was Jack and he died. this is the result.

I hope you enjoyed it and feedback is always welcome.