Title: Living a lie

Author: Emma Beadle

E-mail: e.beadle1@ntlworld.com

Story status: complete

Season: Future

Spoliers: Tiny one for Zatarc Incident (I think that was what the episode was called, you'll know it when you read it).

Categories: Romance/Angst

Rating: G

Content warning: none

Summary: Sam admits something

Archive: SJD yes. Anybody else, ask and ye shall receive (although why anybody would want it is beyond me).

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I lied to him today and I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself for that.

Don't get me wrong, I lie to him all the time. Not big lies though, just little ones. For example, I'll tell him that his jokes really aren't funny or he'll ask me if I'm okay and I'll say I'm just fine. These types of lies don't count, he knows what I'm doing and he knows why I'm doing it.

But the lie I told him today was the biggest lie I've ever told in my entire life. He asked me the one question that I've been waiting my whole life to hear and I lied.

He asked me if I still felt the same way I did all those years ago when we agreed to leave it in the room and I told him no.

You see, what makes this so bad is that I not only lied to him but I lied to myself as well. In my defence, it wasn't until I saw the crushed look on his face that I realised I had lied. I guess I just got used to denying it to everybody else that I couldn't even admit it to myself.

So, just for this one second in time I'm going to tell the truth. I, Samantha Carter, am in love with Jack O'Neill.

Tomorrow, things will go back to the way they've always been.

Tomorrow, I'll go back to living a lie.

The End

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Okay, that's it, all finished. This hasn't been beta'ed so any mistake are entirely mine.

Feedback is not only appreciated but actively encouraged.