"Orange Diplomacy" By Jojo

Title: 'Orange Diplomacy'

Author: Jojo

Rating: G

Archive: SJD yes!

Summary: Sam and Jack competing over Jonas. Really.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

Spoilers: Season 6 merely because of Jonas's presence and Daniel's lack-of.

Status: Complete

Feedback: Oh please... go on... you know secretly you really, really want to.

A/N: Thanks to Debbie, Emry, Kat and Sandy. They rock the beta-ing world.

Jack leaned forward on the table, watching Jonas intently. Beside him, Carter was trying very hard to look uninterested when he knew the exact opposite was actually true. She was just as interested in the outcome of this experiment as Jack was.

Teal'c, sitting on Jack's right, was apparently ignoring all of them. Not unusual really. Sometimes Jack got the feeling that Teal'c thought they were children. Okay, okay, so Jack *knew* Teal'c thought they were children, but sometimes it was nice to imagine otherwise.

Drawing his attention back to the current competition, he watched as Jonas licked the spoon thoughtfully.

"Well?" Jack prompted impatiently.

"I'm thinking." He made sucking noises, pursing his lips and running his tongue around his mouth.

"Jonas..."

"Colonel, you're going to have to give me some time here."

"It's not *wine*, Jonas. Either you like it or you don't."

Carter shifted slightly and Jack made sure she wasn't cheating by giving Jonas any indication of her preferred outcome. He knew Jonas liked her better - she was, after all, actually friendly to the guy. Whereas Jack was just impatient. He hadn't really cared up until this point.

Now he was beginning to see Carter's logic.

Pushing the glass dessert cup aside, Jonas reached for his second portion. He poised his spoon over it, flicking his brown eyes up to Jack momentarily. Jack was surprised to see mischief in Jonas' eyes - which could only mean one thing.

Carter had been giving him lessons in winding him up.

Dammit.

Five frustrating minutes later, Jonas pushed aside the second glass cup. He repeated the same process as before, smacking his lips together and sucking every last bit of taste from his mouth.

"Well?" Jack pestered.

"Sir, let Jonas decide for himself."

"Oh, that's right, play the good cop, Carter," Jack said scathingly. It was amazing just how duplicitous she really was.

Carter rolled her eyes. "This isn't half as important to me as it is to you."

Oh that was *so* not true. He turned to his Jaffa friend. "Which one did you like better?"

Teal'c turned the page of his conspiracy theory rag casually and answered without looking up, "As I recall, O'Neill, I refused to participate."

Jack narrowed his eyes at him. So he had. Actually, if Jack remembered correctly, Teal'c had all but rolled his eyes at the two of them.

"Finished, Jonas?"

Swinging his head around, Jack glared at his 2IC as she beamed across the table at their newest teammate. She was smiling *way* too much at Jonas for his liking. The sneaky little.... "Jonas, make a decision," he quickly ordered through his teeth.

"Okay... I like..."

Jack and Sam leaned forward further eagerly.

The brown eyes flickered to each of them, then he smiled. ".... orange."

"*WHAT?*"

Jonas shrugged. "Sorry. I tried the orange flavor earlier on and the blue and the red simply don't compare." He stacked the two cups and put them back on his tray, and stood up with it. "See you at the briefing."

Shoulders slumped, Jack and his 2IC regarded the space that Jonas had just vacated.

"Damn," Carter muttered, looking like a kid whose hamster had just died. "Not again."

"Yeah." He nudged her in a friendly fashion with his shoulder. "We oughta get going. I haven't read my reports yet."

Sam nodded and climbed off of the bench. She came round to touch Teal'c on his shoulder and he lifted his head from the magazine he'd been reading. "Ready?"

"I shall finish this page first," Teal'c said, face impassive, "and then I shall join you."

She smiled and left with the Colonel.

Quietly, Teal'c folded his magazine and looked around the commissary conspiratorially. Then, when he was sure no one was watching, he allowed himself to grin broadly.

His plan had, once again, been successful.

With immense satisfaction, he looked at the two finished cups of Jell-O. It had been a very good idea to warn Jonas Quinn in advance about O'Neill and MajorCarter's Jell-O competition. Very good indeed. As it had been a very good idea to warn Daniel Jackson nearly six years before, Doctor Fraiser some months after that and then, finally, her daughter.

For, while Teal'c believed competition to be healthy in every day lives, he did not think competing over the flavor of a gelatinous dessert was productive.

And, besides, orange was his favorite flavor too.

THE END