"Say 'R'" By Linz

TITLE: Say 'R'

AUTHOR: Linz (lindsaymallen@yahoo.com)

CATEGORY: Sam and Jack

SUMMARY: Response to the 2002 SamandJack List Christmas Challenge.

RATING: G

SPOILERS: none

SEASON: 6

ARCHIVE: SJA, Heliopolis, others only have to ask.

DISCLAIMER: Ok, don't own characters (wish I did) made this story up, didn't make any money out of it, yada yada, you know the rest.

NOTES: I know, I'm supposed to be working. But, I *so* couldn't resist!

NOTES II: I take no credit for the title, for it was not my inspiration! Hugs hun!

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Criteria for Challenge:

* start with the dialogue, "What do you mean that's not allowed?";
* contain NO MENTION of "regulations";
* contain LOTS of tinsel;
* have Jonas as a member of SG1 (though Daniel can certainly make an appearance);
and
* have a Sam/Jack kiss.

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"What do you mean that's not allowed?"

"You're supposed to be the smart one, Carter, what do you think it means?"

"But, you can't just "not allow" it, sir!"

"Give me one good reason!"

"Because…"

"See I told you, you can't think of one, therefore, it's not allowed!"

"You didn't give me chance to finish!"

"I don't let Jonas finish either. Your point being?"

"That you can't just do that, it's not fair!"

"I think you misunderstand, I can do that, I do do that, its called 'Being in Command', Carter."

"Oh, so it's all right to quote 'Command' when it suits you, but when I so much as mention r…"

Teal'c looked from Jonas to Jack, back to Jonas, to Sam, back to Jonas, raised an eyebrow, nodded his head solemnly and proclaimed.

"I do believe that settled the debate, JonasQuinn."

Jonas looked up from the tinsel mountain he was creating in front of the tree, as he watched the two command members of SG-1 a question formed in his mind.

"Teal'c, I thought the tradition was to kiss under mistletoe?"

"You are correct, JonasQuinn."

"But neither Colonel O'Neill nor Major Carter actually have any mistletoe."

"How else do you expect O'Neill to silence Major Carter's protests?"

"She was only going to say reg…"

"Jonas! I can still hear you!"

Jonas jumped slightly at Colonel O'Neill's immediate rebuke, although the man in question quickly resumed his previous task. Truly, humans were a strange culture! Just when you think you have it all figured out, something seemingly innocuous like the mention of 'regul…'

Looking towards the lip-locked pair, Jonas decided that it was probably unwise to even think that word, and so continued to wrap the shiny red string around the tree as Teal'c hung the various baubles. As much as he *loved* his newest discovery, tinsel was not quite strong enough to lure him away from the thought that still troubled him.

"Teal'c?"

"Yes, JonasQuinn?"

"Do they do that every year?"

"Yes, JonasQuinn, it has become somewhat a tradition at O'Neill's tree decorating ceremony."

Jonas lifted both his eyebrows to urge his alien friend to continue.

"Many years ago, it became custom for O'Neill to display the plant known as mistletoe above MajorCarter's head. MajorCarter would take a single step backward, replying that O'Neill was as aware as she of the reasons they could not continue. DanielJackson, would then attempt to distract O'Neill, but to no avail. O'Neill firmly disregarded DanielJackson and closed the remaining distance between himself and MajorCarter, ensnaring her using the - blue tinsel, I believe this year - to silence her in a most unique of ways. So adept is the performance of this ritual that O'Neill no longer requires the mistletoe, he simply waits until MajorCarter becomes aware of his gaze as she pronounces the word 'regul…'"

"Teal'c!" came the stereo response from behind them before both resumed their previous activity.

Seemingly unaffected by the reprimand of the pair, the Jaffa continued almost like a proud father.

"O'Neill embellishes the tradition every subsequent year, a deed that I believe that MajorCarter approves of."

Jonas looked towards the pair unsure as to which arm belonged to which body due to the previously unknown camouflaging quality of a long piece of shiny blue tinsel.

"Judging from where her arm is – at least I think that's her arm – I think she definitely approves, Teal'c!"

Jonas watched the pair for another brief moment before they disappeared to the floor behind the couch.

One thing he was sure about - judging from the scene before him - he was certainly never going near his Commanding Officer at Christmas time, if said Commanding Officer was in possession of shiny blue tinsel.

And if by some unfortunate event he ever found himself in that precise situation, he was absolutely, positively certain he would never, ever mention the word 'regulati…"

"JONAS!"

The End: MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!