Title: Meeting Charlie

Author: Lisa Yaeger

E-mail: lisayaeger@hotmail.com

Rating: G

Category: General

Pairings: Sam/Jack

Content Warnings: none

Summary: Sam meets Charlie.

Season/sequel: This happens in season 6 after Abyss

Spoilers: Up to and including Abyss

Archive: SJD & whoever wants to- I'd be flattered!

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

Status: Complete.

Feedback: Welcomed!

Date: 24-11-2002

*****

This was obviously not the first visit she had made. People were generally not that comfortable the first time they came, and she was chatting away with the ease of an old friend. It had taken him months of visits, some completely silent, before he could open up the way he was watching her do now. He realized he was half-spying, no make that just *spying* on her, but didn't he have a right to? After all, she hadn't even met Charlie when he was alive, and there she was, effortlessly laughing and joking with him as if she had known him since the day he was born.

For the first time since he had been to the cemetery, he was grateful that some people found it necessary to have huge stone monuments erected in their memories. In this particular instant, it afforded him the ability to hide behind something and eavesdrop.

"So, you see, *blue* Jell-O is the best flavor, not red."

Even though he couldn't see her face, he knew she was smiling. He even heard a giggle emerge from her after a minute; she was probably replaying their last red vs. blue debate in her head. He couldn't help but smile a little, too. It was one of those conversations they could have over and over again because no one was really right or wrong. It just defined who they were- opposites in their flavor preference, but both still diehard Jell-O fanatics. He continued to watch as she straightened her back against the cold cement bench, drew a deep breath and began to speak again.

"It's getting late, and I haven't told you why I came today. I know it's been awhile since I visited. Maybe you've seen my mom since the last time I told you about her? I hope so- I know she would just love you..."

Carter had talked to Charlie about her *mom*? She never talked to anyone about her mom, not even him. The time or two he had tried to bring it up, she just gave the briefest of replies and changed the subject. So he had stopped trying, realizing that, like him, she probably didn't want to talk about the people she had lost. Or maybe she just didn't want to tell *him* about it. Instead, she would rather tell his dead son.

"I really came to apologize. Again. I guess that's a habit with me coming here. I know that you must wonder where your dad is when he doesn't come to visit you for over a week."

How did she know he came every week that he was on earth? *No* one knew that.

"I just wanted you to know that it was my fault he was gone so long this time. At least it wasn't as bad as the first time I came here. That was the longest, right? That was the first time we met, too, so I guess it wasn't all bad. At least for me anyway."

He watched as she huddled over a little, maybe because of the cold November wind blowing across the field. Her voice grew quieter, almost pleading for forgiveness from the stone marker.

"You see, I asked your dad to do me a favor. A big favor. Something that he really didn't want to do. And it turned out to be a big mistake. He got hurt really badly. But he's okay now, and I just thought you should know that he couldn't tell you ahead of time that he was leaving. Or I know he would have warned you that he wouldn't be stopping by for awhile."

She was talking about Kanan, and Ba'al. She was apologizing for keeping him away from Charlie. Something he would never hold her responsible for. But something she felt responsible for all the same, apparently.

"I'm just glad it didn't take me three months this time to figure out how to bring him back. That's because some of the other people your dad works with came up with a great idea to bring him home."

She wasn't even taking credit for helping. He knew it was an effort that his whole team had shared. But that she was blaming herself for it having happened at all? Incredible. And why in the world did she keep bringing up the time he was on Edora? That was almost 3 years ago, and that he came home at all was only *because* of her. Yet she made it sound like he came back *in spite of* her. Did she really walk around with this guilt all of the time? Or was it just when she was here, with Charlie, that she felt free to admit what her mind wouldn't let her think aloud the rest of the time? That's why he came after all these years- not just to feel closer to the spirit of his son- but to say out loud the things he could only think everywhere else.

"Well, I guess I'd better be going now. I'm sure I've taken up enough of your time, and maybe your dad will come by and visit later. Or maybe he's already been."

She shook her head, and he wondered why they had never talked about this before. Why she had never told him that she came here. Had apparently been coming for years. Although deep down he knew why. She would feel like she didn't have a right to intrude on his personal life, and he wouldn't know how to tell her that it was okay - more than okay - that she was really the only person that could never make it feel like an intrusion. Like she had belonged all along. And that's why he didn't interrupt her time with his son. Because he wanted her to know him, and vice versa. That they had never actually met seemed really trivial all of a sudden. If there was one thing Daniel's ascension had made him see, it's that the line between life and death wasn't so clear. No one really knew what happened after this life, if anything at all. Maybe Charlie was right here, with Sam's mom, watching him watch her.

"So, I guess I'll see you later. And I'll try to come by sometimes just to say "hi" and not because I have to explain why your dad wasn't here. I know you'd rather see him than me, but maybe it helps us both a little when he's gone. At least I know it helps me."

And with that she turned and walked toward the marker, clearing around it a little with her gloved hand. Wiping away the dirt around the letters, and then wiping off her glove. Then he saw her do the most remarkable thing he thought he could ever see her do- she touched the fingertips of her right glove to her mouth and formed a kiss with her lips. She then brought the tips of her fingers to the cold stone and whispered "goodbye" in the softest voice he had ever heard her use. In fact, had the wind not stopped blowing, he would have missed it entirely. He wasn't sure, but he thought he saw a tear in her eye as she got up to leave. He quickly huddled back against the enormous monument, trying to make himself invisible as she walked by.

She walked past him seemingly without even noticing him, but just a few paces beyond where he remained crouched, she stopped. Her back to him, her feet and hands still. Only the slight movement of her shoulders indicating she was breathing at all. She just stood there, as if deciding whether or not to turn around, and then one foot began moving in front of the other again, and the choice was made. He never knew whether or not she saw him, or perhaps sensed his presence, or why she even stopped at all. He only knew that his son had met the woman he loved. And for reasons that defied logic and reason, nothing she could ever have done would mean more than that she had come to meet Charlie.

*****

You know what to do- lisayaeger@hotmail.com