Title: A Time to Keep

Author: Sue Corkill

Email: mscorkill@earthlink.net

Category: Sam & Jack, Angst, Romance

Status: Complete

Rating: NC-17

Content Warning: Explicit sex

Season/Sequel info: Season Five

Spoilers: Desperate Measures

Archive: Heliopolis, SJHW, SJD

Summary: Sam struggles to return to normal after her kidnapping.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

Feedback: Cheerfully accepted.

Author's notes: This story originally started out as yet another attempt to write Denise a nice post-Desperate Measures comfort fic. Somewhere along the way, it turned into something more than just a H/C-smut fic. Many thanks to Nancy, for encouraging me to try something different and taking a chance with my OC's. Wendy and Linz, I'd be lost without your support, insight and excellent suggestions. And Denise, three is supposed to be the magic number-if I haven't hit it with number three, I don't think I ever will! And just for the record, the title is taken from Ecclesiastes 3:6.

Copyright © M. Susan Corkill, May 2003.

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A TIME TO KEEP

Daniel watched as the ambulance drove off. Thank goodness Jack had been wearing a vest! And if Jack's very vocal complaining as he was being wheeled into the ambulance was any indication, the wound to his arm wasn't that serious. Of course, who had shot him was still a mystery. Pulling his jacket tighter against the light rain that had started to fall, Daniel's attention was attracted by a sudden commotion at the rear entrance of the abandoned hospital. Two men-both wearing white lab coats-were being escorted, none too gently, to a waiting police car. One of the men was very subdued, keeping his head down. The other, more rotund man with glasses, was loudly complaining. Daniel couldn't hear all the man's shrill words; but a few like 'lawyer', 'false arrest' and 'haven't done anything wrong' rang out clearly.

Daniel just shook his head. He surmised that the two men were the doctors who had been caring for Conrad and studying Sam. Daniel had encountered much evil in his life, but it still amazed him that self-professed physicians-healers-would deliberately set out to harm anyone! Daniel started looking around for Sam, when he realized something was else happening with the prisoners. One of them had managed to break free and Daniel watched in stunned amazement as he started running across the parking lot-towards him! Quickly looking around, Daniel belatedly realized he wasn't the man's target, Sam was and she was currently standing alone by the remaining ambulance.

Confusion seemed to reign. Daniel started running towards Sam; several officers were chasing after the doctor, yelling at him to stop. They had their guns drawn, but there were so many people around-himself included-that Daniel hoped they wouldn't fire. The escaped man was yelling as well, his voice high and shrill above the others. "I'm not finished with you yet! I'll have you! You're mine! You're mine!"

Daniel reached Sam moments ahead of the escaped doctor and the police. "Sam," he panted. She just stood there, her eyes wide with alarm, and much to his surprise, made no effort to escape. Pulling her to him, Daniel dragged her around the side of the ambulance, shielding her with his body. He heard the doctor's scream of frustrated rage as they disappeared around the side of the vehicle. Propping Sam up against the side of the ambulance, Daniel drew his zat and waited. There was a flurry of movement and sound, and Daniel braced to fire when the white-coated man suddenly flew to the ground in front of them, two officers having tackled him.

The man was quickly subdued, laying face down on the wet asphalt, now sobbing softly instead of yelling, while the officers roughly handcuffed him. Daniel wondered with growing anger, why the man hadn't been handcuffed when he was brought out of the building and opened his mouth to ask why, when he suddenly heard what the man was repeating over and over--"She's mine, she's mine". Daniel shuddered, his mind suddenly filled with grim images of what had almost happened to Sam at the hands of this 'doctor'. Oh god, Sam! Daniel whipped around, she was still standing where he'd placed her, shivering and wrapped in a flimsy blanket that was meager protection from the rain, her face stricken as she watched them haul their still sobbing prisoner away.

"Sam," he said softly and her eyes jerked to his, her features unexpectedly crumpling as she gasped his name, holding out a trembling hand to him. Two steps brought him to her side and he pulled her unresisting body into his arms. Holding her tightly, he slowly swayed back and forth, murmuring soothing words and trying to calm her. He never heard her cry and after long moments she finally stopped shivering, until only the occasional tremor racked her slender frame. Pulling back, Daniel looked her over carefully. She was pale-but composed, her eyes shadowed. "You okay?" he asked, his voice gentle.

"Yes," she whispered and shivered again. "He just...startled me."

Daniel knew there was more to it than just her being 'startled', he had heard the man's words and Sam had as well, and he recognized obsession when he saw it. But he didn't say anything more, simply pulled the blanket a bit tighter around her shoulders. "We need to get you out of the rain," he said, brushing her now dripping bangs off her forehead.

Daniel looked quickly around, there had to be an EMT somewhere to go along with this ambulance. All the activity however, was currently concentrated around the squad cars now holding the two prisoners. "Let me go find someone," Daniel told Sam. "Don't move," he cautioned her with a smile. She nodded and he left her standing next to the ambulance.

Striding quickly over to one of the police men who wasn't involved with the prisoners, Daniel asked, "Seen any of the EMT's?" The man didn't say anything, merely pointed back the way Daniel had come.

Good, one of the EMT's had turned up and had evidently already spotted Sam, since he walked over to her and held out a hand towards her. Daniel's relief turned to confusion though, when instead of going with the man, Sam started backing away, a panicked look on her face. Even from a distance, Daniel could see the alarm on her features. Dammit, he shouldn't have left! Muttering a quick thanks to the officer, Daniel headed back to Sam.

"No, I'm fine." Her quivering voice carried to him clearly across the parking lot.

"Ma'am, please...you need to come with me." The EMT kept inching closer to Sam and she kept backing away.

"No!"

Daniel jogged the last few yards to where Sam and the man stood, the fear in her voice hurrying his steps. When he got there, Sam was backed up against the side of the ambulance, holding the blanket tightly around her, her knuckles white, her eyes looking wild with her wet hair hanging down in them and the rain tracking down her face in tiny rivulets.

The EMT was just reaching out to take hold of her arm, when Daniel insinuated himself between the man and Sam. Holding out a hand to the man, who nodded and thankfully backed off, Daniel turned towards Sam. Keeping his voice low and calm, he asked, "It's okay, Sam. He just wants to help you."
 

"Daniel," she whispered raggedly. The look of pathetic relief that filled her face tore at his heart. "Tell them I'm okay." She shivered slightly, "Tell them I don't need to go with them."

"Sam," he chose his words carefully, "you're soaking wet. We need to get you some place warm and dry. We need to check on Jack, too." At the mention of O'Neill, her eyes finally focussed on him. A movement to his side alerted Daniel that Teal'c had finally finished whatever he'd been doing and joined them. Sam still didn't look convinced, however. "Teal'c will go with you, okay?" Her eyes flashed over his shoulder then and she slowly nodded. Standing back, Daniel breathed a sigh of relief when the EMT continued to stand aside while Teal'c carefully approached Sam.

"Come with me, Major Carter."

Looking less wary, she let Teal'c take her arm and lead her to the back entrance of the ambulance. Daniel frowned. Sam's behavior was worrisome and he sincerely hoped it was only a delayed reaction to her kidnapping and whatever had been done to her. And while she didn't look too bad physically, who knew what had happened to her psychologically. He had to think it was a good sign though, that she'd managed to keep it together during her rescue and Jack's subsequent shooting. Not to mention the most recent incident with the obsessed doctor. But, it was still not like Sam to lose it over something as minor as going with the EMT. Hearing the engine of the ambulance start up, Daniel rushed over to their rental car, preparing to follow the ambulance to the hospital.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Daniel arrived at the hospital shortly after the ambulance, however it took him long minutes to find a parking place. Finally making it to the emergency room, he saw Teal'c standing in the small waiting room. "Where's Sam?"

Teal'c inclined his head towards a set of closed doors. "They have taken Major Carter to be examined."

"She was okay?"

Teal'c merely nodded.

"Ah, good." Daniel stared at the closed doors, wondering if he dared to ignore the 'Do Not Enter' sign emblazoned across them. "And Jack?"

"O'Neill is being examined, as well."

One of the doors swung open then and a young woman wearing scrubs poked her head out. "Is there a Murray here?"

Daniel smiled at the look of pained resignation that crossed Teal'c's face. Teal'c merely nodded. "I am...Murray."

"Ah, good. Colonel O'Neill would like to see you." Teal'c nodded again and the woman held the door open for him.

"I'll just wait here--" Daniel started, only to have his voice drowned out by a loud clatter from beyond the entrance to the exam rooms and then the terrified voice of a woman.

"No! Stay away from me!"

Shit...it was Sam! Daniel followed quickly behind the nurse and Teal'c, the sound of raised male voices and Sam's distraught entreaties guiding them to an end room. All three paused at the entrance to the room. Sam was backed into the far corner-her eyes wild and panicked. It looked initially like the room was crowded, but it soon sorted out to three men, one in a white lab coat holding some kind of syringe and two dressed in scrubs, all advancing on Sam.

"Daniel! Murray!" Jack's voice bellowed out from one of the other rooms. "What the hell's going on out there?"

Daniel figured he needed to something fast, before the situation got any more out of control than it already was. Placing a hand on Teal'c's arm he told the Jaffa, "Go check on Jack. I'll take care of Sam." Teal'c didn't look pleased, but inclined his head in agreement and Daniel turned back to the room where Sam cowered in the corner.

Stepping cautiously into the room, one of the men in scrubs turned towards him, a frown on his face. "Celia," he called, "get him out of here!"

"Sir." The woman grabbed his arm, but Daniel shook it off.

"No," he said quietly and firmly, keeping his eyes on Sam and advancing further into the room. "I can help her." The three men in the room looked skeptical, especially lab coat, but after one quick look at Sam, he backed off.

"Sam," he held his hands out at his sides, palms out. "It's me, Daniel." She looked at him, and even though she was dryer than she had been earlier, her eyes were still wild, her hair damp and sticking out all over her head. She nodded but continued her defensive posture.

"Daniel, tell them I'm okay. I don't need any blood tests and I don't need anything to 'calm' me down." Her voice had started out firm, yet by the time she finished with the last words, she was pleading and he could see the faint sheen of tears in her eyes.

"I'll tell them, Sam," he told her, his voice soft and comforting. Holding out his right hand to her now, he continued soothingly, "Let me help you." His eyes pleaded with her and he felt a surge of relief when she held out her right arm to him. He couldn't stop the gasp of horror that escaped him though, when he saw her arm, the bruises and red marks, the tracks from countless needles. She froze then, her face momentarily stricken before it crumpled and she started to cry. Large, silent tears that flowed down her face while she slowly sank to the floor.

"Sam," Daniel murmured worriedly, crossing the few feet needed to reach her and kneeling down next to her, he pulled her into his arms. "It's okay," he crooned softly to her, stroking her hair, "It's okay."

"Shit! Daniel?"

Sam stiffened in his arms at the sound of O'Neill's voice. Daniel fastened one hand firmly on the back of her head, and turned slightly, shielding her as much as he could from the two men standing in the doorway.

"Everything's okay, Jack." He looked pointedly at the other man, a nurse hovering agitatedly at his side. "Shouldn't you be getting...stitched up or something?"

"Yeah, well...I heard Carter and...." Jack's voice trailed off, his eyes filled with pain and uncertainty as he looked into the room. Daniel suddenly felt sorry for the older man.

"She'll be okay, Jack." And Daniel sincerely hoped he wasn't lying. He could still feel her tears against his neck, her too-thin body trembling almost uncontrollably against him. "I'll take care of her." Jack slowly nodded and Daniel knew the wealth of emotion hidden in that simple motion, because he could take care of her right now-when Jack couldn't. With one last look, Jack finally went with the anxious nurse.

"Can you get up?" he whispered to Sam. She nodded and he slowly stood, pulling her with him. Keeping his arm protectively around her, he urged her over to the gurney. "Will you let them examine you?" he asked, helping her to sit on the thin mattress of the cart. She nodded, but when he would have moved away, she grabbed his hand.

The man in the lab coat carefully approached them. "I just want to listen to your heart, your lungs, check your blood pressure, draw some blood."

She shuddered then, looking away and Daniel quickly interjected, "Is the blood work really necessary?"

"No, I suppose it isn't vital," the doctor admitted, albeit reluctantly, Daniel decided.

"No blood work, Sam, okay?" She nodded, but didn't let go of his hand while the doctor completed his brief exam.

Frowning, the doctor left the room with a brief, "Wait here."

"Like we'll go anywhere," Daniel muttered, delighted when Sam smiled. It didn't quite reach her eyes, but at least she smiled. "Better?" he asked, squeezing the hand he still held gently.

"Yes," she looked away, seeming somewhat embarrassed, but then looked at him straight on. "I'm sorry for...losing control, like that."

"It's okay, Sam. I think everyone here understands that."

"Even the Colonel?"

He brushed her straggly bangs back off her forehead. "Yeah, I think even Jack understands that."

She smiled again, but it didn't reach her eyes. The brief moment was lost however, by the return of the doctor. He merely stood in the doorway and gestured to Daniel. "I'll be right back, okay?" Her smile faded when she looked at the doctor, but she nodded and released his hand.

Walking to the door, Daniel followed the doctor out into the hallway. The other man stopped a few doors down from where Sam waited and spoke quietly. "I've spoken to Major Carter's personal physician, who recommends returning both Colonel O'Neill and the major back to Colorado Springs immediately. And while I'm not happy with her recommendation, considering the circumstances of Major Carter's recent experience, but...Colonel O'Neill's injuries are relatively minor, so I agreed." Daniel nodded, relieved that they would all be leaving Seattle soon, when the doctor continued. "However, her heart rate is way too fast and her blood pressure elevated. I suggested, and Doctor Fraiser agreed with me-especially given Major Carter's behavior here-that she will benefit from some kind of mild sedation, just to get her back home."

Daniel frowned, what the doctor said did make a weird kind of sense. Sam was still pretty strung out, and if Janet agreed.... There was just one small point. "I don't really think she'll let you give her anything."

"We can give her a fast acting sedative, that will also last for several hours, as a liquid. She just has to drink something."

Okay, he was getting the picture now. "And you want me to help you?"

"You're about the only one she seems to trust right now."

Well, the doctor had him there and Daniel reluctantly had to agree with his assessment of the situation. "Ah..." he took off his glasses, rubbing his suddenly very tired eyes. "Let me go talk to her for a minute, okay?"

Daniel left the doctor in the corridor, and went back to see Sam. She sat cross-legged on the gurney, staring down into her lap. She looked up when he came in, her eyes still reflecting a lingering fear. "Hey," he greeted her.

She smiled slightly, but didn't say anything. He stopped right in front of her. "Janet wants you and Jack back at the SGC."

"That's good," she whispered.

"You feel up to the trip?"

"I just want to go home, Daniel."

"Okay, let me find out the details. You'll be okay, here?" He looked around at all the various medical equipment in the room. "I don't think I can use my cell here."

He started towards the door, only to be stopped by Sam's tentative voice. "Daniel?"

"Yes?"

She looked down at herself, plucking at the material of her scrub pants. "I need some clothes."

"I'll see what I can do." He patted her knee reassuringly and went in search of Teal'c and some safe place to use his cell.

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Darkness had fallen when two hours later, Daniel and Teal'c were finally bundling her and Jack out of the rental car and onto the tarmac at the private jet terminal at SeaTac. Sam still wasn't sure how Hammond had arranged it, but a small Learjet with USAF markings, was waiting for them. She had heard about these jets, but had never actually been on one. They were usually used for ferrying politicians and the upper echelon around, not lowly majors-or colonels, for that matter. It was still raining, and while the sweat pants and sweatshirt Teal'c had bought for her at a nearby Wal-Mart were better than the scrubs she'd been wearing, she was still chilled to the bone. Sam stood listlessly by the car while Daniel handed over the car keys to a waiting airman, wondering if she'd ever be warm again.

"Come on, Sam." Daniel again, taking her arm and coaxing her towards the plane. Teal'c already had the Colonel at the stairs, unobtrusively helping him. She let Daniel lead her to the plane and up the stairs. She just didn't have the energy right now to do much of anything, and the rather fuzzy feeling she had, much like how she felt when she'd had one too many glasses of wine, made her think that they'd spiked the orange juice Daniel had insisted she drink. Sam couldn't find the energy to hold it against him-or the staff at the hospital; she had been fairly out of control. She just had to believe if she could just get home, everything would be okay.

Finally onboard the small plane, Sam looked around curiously. Surprisingly spacious, with a single row of four plush leather seats down the right side of the plane; the left side had two leather seats toward the front of the aircraft, then a sofa and finally what looked like a small galley. Teal'c had already settled the Colonel into one of the chairs toward the middle of the plane, he looked pale, tired and there were grim lines etched around his mouth from what she imagined was the pain. He glanced at her and smiled when she walked by, but she averted eyes, not wanting him to see the guilt that had suddenly flooded through her, because if it hadn't been for her, he wouldn't have gotten shot. Sam let Daniel direct her to one of the seats at the back of the plane, glad she would be away from her teammates' all too knowing eyes. Grateful to be sitting down again, as her legs were unexpectedly shaky, she buckled her seatbelt and closed her eyes. She was vaguely aware of Daniel and Teal'c taking seats in front of her, talking quietly, and then the gentle hum of the engines as the plane started to taxi.

Sam finally started to relax once she felt the plane take off. They'd be home soon...and everything would be okay. She could try and erase the last week from her memory. Drifting into a light doze, she was dimly away when someone, Teal'c, she thought, covered her with a light coverlet. She was finally starting to feel warm...and safe, isolated as they were on this plane, surrounded by her team. And while part of knew she couldn't depend on isolation and her teammates to provide her a feeling of security once they reached the SGC, for now she could.

Shifting restlessly, Sam curled up a bit more in the large seat when she felt the movement of the plane change, starting its descent. She supposed she should start waking up, idly wondering what time it was. Her internal clock was incredibly screwed up, thanks to her kidnapping and prolonged periods of drugged unconsciousness. Slowly opening her eyes, she saw that the cabin lights were still low and she could hear the conversation being carried on between the men.

"So, what the hell happened back there at the hospital, Daniel?"

The Colonel, he sounded annoyed. Sam closed her eyes, not really sure she wanted to hear what was said in reply to that question, but too curious to stop listening and reveal that she was awake.

"Ah, I think the whole situation finally caught up with Sam." Daniel answered and it sounded tactful and reasonable, even to her.

"Her weakened condition along with a latent fear of medical personnel caused her unexpected panic." Teal'c, precisely summing up her response, again sounding perfectly reasonable.

"See, that's what I don't get." O'Neill's confused voice this time. "She was just fine when I rescued her and when we went hunting for Conrad."

"Yeah, well Jack, you told me yourself that she was moments away from certain death at the hands of those two doctors when you rescued her. I'd say she had a fair amount of adrenaline running through her system then. Enough to counteract the effects of the drugs and her debilitated state."

"Debilitated state?"

"Don't be dense, Jack. She's been gone, for how long? Over a week? And from the looks of where they held her, food and exercise and 'taking care' of her hadn't been high on their priority list." Sam could hear the annoyance in Daniel's voice and was mildly surprised by his sudden defense. "Did you see her arms, Jack? Did you see how much thinner she is?"

Sam hugged the coverlet closer at Daniel's words. When Daniel had asked her what size clothing to get, she had automatically told him 'medium'. It was only when she'd put the sweats on that she'd realized how much weight she had lost. Oh, maybe not more than ten pounds...but enough to be noticeable...if you looked closely. And Daniel was right, both her arms were a mess. She was a mess. The only thing that had kept her going when the Colonel had rescued her was his utter faith and confidence in her to get the job done. She'd been able to push aside her fear and forced her trembling legs to follow after him. And then he'd gotten shot...yet another instance when she'd failed him.

"Yeah, Daniel, I saw her arms. What's your point?"

Even though she couldn't see Daniel, she could clearly envision the look on his face and his posture when he answered. "My point is, Sam has been held captive and experimented on for well over a week. And then when we come to 'rescue' her, instead of taking care of her-she's forced to go chase after her captor." She shivered at Daniel's words, she knew she'd be seeing those two doctors faces for months in her dreams. Especially 'glasses', her way of separating their identities. 'Glasses' had been even scarier than his colleague had been, even more so after what had happened in the parking lot when they were taking him away. Given his obsession with finding out how she had survived Jolinar, she knew she'd been incredibly lucky that they'd found her in time.

"Daniel..."

Sam recognized the warning in the Colonel's voice, and she knew Daniel did too, but wouldn't care. "Jack, if you think Sam is going to magically be okay after all of this--"

"Daniel!" The Colonel interrupted, still keeping his voice quiet, "Carter's a good soldier, she'll be fine-she always is."

If she had been stronger, she would have escaped, she would have fought off her initial attackers and none of this would have happened. If she'd been stronger, quicker, smarter she wouldn't have put her team through the trauma of the last week. Sam took a shuddering breath, trying to keep the sudden tears from falling. Sam could hear the echo of her father in the Colonels' words, whenever she'd been hurt, or cried..."Be a good soldier, Sam, that's my girl--you'll be fine". And she'd force her tears back inside and be the good soldier for her daddy...just the same way she'd be a good soldier for O'Neill. No matter what it cost her on the inside.

Belatedly deciding she'd heard too much, she spoke up softly, "Hey, guys." Opening her eyes, she sat up. Three sets of eyes turned to look at her--open concern and sympathy in Daniel's, subdued empathy from Teal'c and somber speculation from the Colonel.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Is he really hurt that bad, Janet?"

Janet looked up at the sound of Sam's voice, the other woman standing in the doorway to her cluttered office. It had been two hours since Janet had released Sam from the infirmary...she was supposed to have gone home. Of course, Janet acknowledged a bit too late, she should have known Sam wouldn't leave until she'd had an update on O'Neill's condition. Janet sighed, some things never changed.

Closing the chart she was updating, she answered Sam. "No...he just needs a couple doses of IV antibiotics and then I'll release him. The worst thing is going to be the pain from where the bullet impacted his vest. But an anti-inflammatory will work fine for that." Janet nodded towards the large ward, just visible outside her office. "Go see for yourself."

"I ah..." Sam looked flustered for a moment, her eyes flashing nervously from the doctor to the infirmary.

"I'm sure he'd like to see you, Sam." When Sam still looked uncertain, Janet added, "Hammond's in there."

Sam seemed to relax a bit when she learned that Hammond was there as well and nodded her assent. Janet watched her friend leave, sadly aware that the chipper behavior Sam was displaying for her benefit was just that--a display. Against her better judgement, Janet had allowed Sam to convince her to not hold her in the infirmary. After her conversation with Daniel, and the report from the ER physician in Seattle, Janet had to reluctantly acknowledge that being in the infirmary wasn't probably the best thing for Sam--too many bad memories right now. And while Sam would have to deal with what had happened sooner or later, Janet decided she could allow her some time and let it be later. Opening another chart, Janet started writing an update on O'Neill's already voluminous medical record.

"Doctor!"

Hammond's voice was urgent and Janet jumped to her feet, racing out of the office, looking around frantically for what had alarmed the General.

"What's going on?" That from O'Neill, who looked like he was going to hop out of the bed, IV and all!

"You, stay put," she ordered.

"Doctor!" Hammond's voice again, from out in the hallway.

Hurrying out into the hall, Janet stopped dead in her tracks when she saw General Hammond, kneeling on the floor and cradling an obviously unconscious Sam Carter in his arms. "Matthews!" she called to the orderly on duty, "get me a cart!" Kneeling down next to the unconscious woman, she unconsciously held her breath, feeling for Sam's carotid pulse. Her fingers palpated the silent woman's pale neck--faint and racing--but there. Matthews finally appeared, this time with several SF's and between the four of them, they lifted Sam onto the cart and wheeled her back into the infirmary.

"What happened? What's the matter with Carter?" O'Neill again. Janet pulled the curtain around his bed and ignored him. She hoped O'Neill had enough sense to shut up and let her examine Sam, then they all could know what had happened. Shooing the General away as well, Janet put her stethoscope in her ears and bent over Sam's lax body.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh god, she felt awful, her head was pounding and her mouth had that cotton wool taste that just wouldn't go away! But she wasn't tied down, this was her chance! Opening her eyes, Sam tried to focus against the harsh light and belatedly realized she recognized where she was, the infirmary at the SGC and not the room at the abandoned hospital in Seattle. Relaxing a bit, she took a deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart. She was safe, she was home, and it was all going to be okay. Which didn't explain why she had woken up in the infirmary when the last thing she remembered was walking out into the corridor with General Hammond. God, she must've passed out, in front of the General! She closed her eyes again, just when she thought things could only get better, she fainted in front of Hammond.

She almost felt like crying, it had taken a lot of convincing to get Janet to discharge her, and then she had to go and do something like this! And O'Neill had to have seen too...when they wheeled her unconscious into the infirmary. She needed to show them she was strong...not the weak link in the team. Too much had happened the last few months that shouldn't have happened, that she had let happen. This was the second time in recent memory that she'd almost gotten the Colonel killed. She was just so tired...and all she really wanted to do was go home and sleep in her own bed, in her comfy pajamas and just hide from the world.

Raising herself up on one elbow, Sam looked around for the call button that had to be somewhere close at hand. Thankfully, the curtains were pulled around her bed, but she could hear the soft footsteps of the nursing staff and the faint murmur of voices. Finally locating the call button, she started to press it, but the sound of footsteps pausing right outside her curtained off area stopped her. She lay back down, confident someone was coming to check on her, only mildly curious when she heard Daniel's voice.

"How is she?"

Sam's ears perked up when she heard Janet. "Not as well as I thought."

Oh crap...Sam tried to calm her suddenly pounding heart, straining to hear what Janet said next. Sam could almost hear the exasperation in Janet's voice. "Her heart rate is way too fast, her blood pressure too low. Her blood chemistry is totally out of whack. The toxicology panels won't be back for several days. Who knows what they gave her? Those two doctors," Janet spat out the word, Sam noted, feeling pleased, "won't say anything about what they did to her."

"So, what do we do?"

"Well, obviously there are going to be some physical ramifications to Sam's kidnapping that we're going to need to deal with." Sam heard Janet's soft sigh, her heart sinking with the doctor's next words. "But it's the psychological I'm worried about. I don't need to tell you that Sam has been under considerable stress the last few months. That she's managed to keep working as well as she has, is a testament to her self-control. I'm worried that this kidnapping and experimentation may be the straw that breaks the camel's back."

Sam closed her eyes, Janet's words washing over her, and she couldn't deny the doctor's eerily accurate assessment. She was on the edge--literally and figuratively. She had failed her team, and even more, she had failed Jack on a regular basis lately. What good was she to anybody when she couldn't do her job?

This was the second time in less than twenty-four hours that she'd eavesdropped on her friends...and that old chestnut was right, listeners never hear good of themselves. She was tired, she was scared, but not of being kidnapped again or experimented on or anything like that! She was scared that her actions and major screw-ups would alienate her team--and the Colonel--to the point where they merely tolerated her presence. No matter how good she did her job and how many problems she solved, she still had to be better than everybody else to prove her worth. And the Colonel...his opinion mattered more to her than she felt comfortable acknowledging.

"I never should have discharged her." The frustration in Janet's voice warned Sam that she was going to get one hell of a lecture from her doctor.

"She just wants to go home, Janet. Wouldn't you, if you were in her position?" Daniel's voice was calm and reassuring.

Sam held her breath, waiting for Janet's reply. It was a while in coming and Sam had given up hope when the doctor finally admitted, "Yeah, you're right. But she shouldn't be alone." Sam easily heard Janet's heavy sigh, "Doctor Robbins is sick and two SG teams are due back tonight. I won't be able to get away until morning at the earliest."

"I'll take her home and stay with her."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The ringing of her phone woke her from a restless sleep and by the time she managed to reach for it, it had stopped. Opening her eyes, Sam squinted at her bedside clock--0930. And by the light shining brightly behind the curtains, she knew it was morning. Flopping onto her back, she sighed heavily. When she'd first gotten home, it had been heavenly, even with Daniel in tow. But, he had been an undemanding companion, taking care of her in his casual way. They'd had omelets for dinner, Daniel had been smart enough to stop at a grocery store on the way to her place. And while she hadn't been very hungry, what she had managed to eat of the cheese and ham omelet had tasted surprisingly good.

She'd had a long bath then, after supper, enjoying the luxury of the hot water and the opportunity to just relax. Of course, it would have been better if she hadn't been jumping at every small noise, from the rumble of the water heater to the occasional traffic noises and movement she heard from Daniel. She'd stayed in the tub almost an hour, long enough for Daniel to knock cautiously at the bathroom door, asking if she were okay. She'd reluctantly gotten out and after putting on her favorite pajamas and cozy chenille robe, she'd joined him in the living room, where he plied her with Cookies & Cream ice cream and the latest gossip from the base. She hadn't been hungry though, and just stirred the ice cream around until it melted. Setting it aside, she tried to concentrate on what Daniel was saying, but it was becoming more and more difficult. She knew he meant well, and she appreciated him being with her, but an incredibly lethargy was filling her and all she wanted was to go to bed.

Thankfully, he seemed to sense her thoughts, because he suddenly stood up and announced it was time for both of them to go to bed. Under Daniel's watchful eye, Sam took the sleeping pill Janet had prescribed and had gladly retreated to the sanctuary of her bedroom. Daniel knew where the guestroom was and she'd gratefully gotten into her own bed and tried to sleep. She'd fallen asleep easily enough, but her dreams had kept her in a restless state all night, vivid images of her captivity, of what might have been if she hadn't been rescued. In between her disjointed dreams she'd lain awake staring at the ceiling, trying to calm her too rapid breathing and heart. She wondered how long it would be before she felt safe?

"Sam?" Daniel's voice was hesitant, just outside her bedroom door.

Forcing herself out of the bed, she pulled on her robe and opened the door. She stood in the doorway, trying not to flinch when his too perceptive gaze swept over her. She knew she probably didn't look any better for a night's sleep, but there wasn't much she could do about it. "Sorry I slept so late, Daniel," she apologized.

"Ah, Sam...I have to go back to the base, that phone call?" She nodded, taking slow deep breaths. She would be okay...when he left. "SG-6 has brought back some kind of scroll that looks like it has references to some unnamed and greatly feared Goa'uld. Could be the same Goa'uld Tanith was talking about."

She nodded and gave Daniel a small smile, trying to persuade it to light up her eyes as well, but she knew she failed. "You go, I'll be fine," she told him, suffusing her voice with a confidence that she was far from feeling.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sam rolled over, ignoring the incessant ringing of her doorbell. She didn't care who was there, or what they wanted. All she wanted was to stay in bed and be left alone. It didn't matter that she hadn't left her house, much less her bed, for the past six days. It didn't matter that she hadn't seen anyone since Daniel had left--again six days earlier. She had managed to answer the phone whenever it rang and had successfully brushed off Janet and Daniel's concerns for her welfare. Her condition didn't matter, all she cared about was hearing that the Colonel was okay. And when he had been released after only forty-eight hours in the infirmary, she had felt nothing but relief and hadn't left her bed since then.

She vaguely realized that her never-ending fatigue and lack of energy was not normal, even given the circumstances of her recent kidnapping. But there just didn't seem to be any reason to get up and get dressed, or to eat, or to do anything except stay safe and secure in the self-imposed prison of her bedroom, where she couldn't let anybody down.

The doorbell ringing had given way to pounding on her door. Sam looked at the bedside clock, 1100. Evidently whoever was there wasn't going to go away anytime soon, and not wanting to cause yet another unexplainable scene to her neighbors, she reluctantly decided she'd have to see who was there. Dragging herself out of bed, she was surprised at the dizziness that assaulted her, and by sheer will alone managed to stumble down the hallway to the front door. "I'm coming," she called, her voice hoarse from disuse and-thankfully--the knocking stopped.

Fumbling with the locks and security chain, she eventually managed to get the door open, squinting in the bright sunlight. It took a moment for her eyes to focus, the figure before her only a large, dark blur against the too-bright sun.

"Dammit, Carter!" A man's angry voice, she instinctively backed away. The figure followed her, "I thought you had more sense than to just open your door without checking who was there first--especially after all that's happened!"

The pounding of her heart only increased when she recognized the Colonel. She shrank back against the wall, he was right, she hadn't even thought to look through the peephole or even ask who was there. She closed her eyes and took a shuddering breath, she obviously hadn't learned anything after her ordeal. She heard the door close and opened her eyes, finding O'Neill studying her through hooded eyes. He looked good, she noted, the lines of pain and fatigue she'd last seen on his face were gone. Trying not to flinch under his scowling gaze, Sam wrapped her arms around herself, desperately hoping that the light-headedness that had been her constant companion for last few days wouldn't get any worse.

"Sir," she managed to murmur, taking a shuddering breath and willing herself to remain upright.

His face unexpectedly softened, his eyes going dark. "Sam, what's going on?"

The soft and caring tone of his voice contrasted so sharply with his previous anger that she felt even more off-balance. The roaring in her ears only increased though and she felt the dizziness start to overwhelm her. "Sir," she mumbled, stumbling away from the wall and towards him, sliding into oblivion even as she reached out to him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shit, Jack ran his hand through his hair, pacing the living room. Sam lay where he'd placed her limp body, on the sofa. Her even breathing and rapid pulse reassuring him, at the same time that her unexpected faint into his arms alarmed him. Not exactly sure what to do, he was simply waiting for her to awaken. He hadn't called Fraiser yet, something he should have done immediately, he supposed. But he hadn't.... Jack shook his head and looked down at Sam. He had somehow optimistically believed that once they'd gotten her back, she'd be fine, that they'd all be fine. He certainly hadn't factored the too-pale, too-thin and frightened woman currently unconscious on the sofa into the equation.

Crossing to where Sam lay, Jack gently removed the damp towel from her forehead and went into the kitchen, running some more cold water. He should have come to check on her sooner, his injuries weren't that serious, and he'd ditched the sling as soon as Fraiser had discharged him, and he'd been on the same enforced medical leave as she'd been. He should have listened to Daniel, their conversation just after his discharge from Fraiser's iron rule in the infirmary, running ominously through his brain.

//"I'm worried about Sam."

Awkwardly fastening his BDU shirt with his left hand, Jack had looked curiously at Daniel. "I thought Fraiser gave her a clean bill of health?"

"She did." Daniel had gazed right by him, as if searching the far wall for the right words. "But she wasn't acting like her usual self."

"Well Daniel," Jack had adopted the patronizing tone Daniel so often used with him. "She's just been kidnapped and almost killed, that's enough to affect any one!"

"No," the other man had continued, unfazed by Jack's assessment. "This was different. It's like she's, I don't know, hiding."

Jack had looked sharply at Daniel then, wondering how much of his theory was based on speculation, and Carter's out-of-character behavior at the Seattle hospital. Ignoring the tightening in his gut, he'd brushed Daniel's concerns aside. "Well, if Fraiser says she's okay, that's good enough for me."//

Daniel had grunted a non-committal reply and thankfully let the topic drop. Jack had ignored the small niggling of doubt and left the base, intending to take full advantage of the three weeks of medical leave that Fraiser had forced on him.

Wringing out the once more cold and wet towel, Jack returned to the living room. Sitting on the coffee table, he carefully placed the cool towel across Sam's forehead. Smoothing back her hair, he sat and watched her and waited. He wondered again if he should call Fraiser, but there was just something that prevented him from doing so. Calling Fraiser would mean having to take Sam to the base, putting her back under the scrutiny of not only Fraiser, but also Hammond and--he was forced to acknowledge--the NID. He hadn't been taking very good care of his team lately, or at least one member of that team. He came to a sudden decision then, acting on his gut instead of his brain. There was no way he was going to expose Carter to more observation and tests. Pulling out his cell, he left his major lying peacefully on the sofa and walked into the kitchen, making calls and pulling in favors.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He felt the rage rising in him and it was only with deliberate effort that he was able to get it back under control. He was so close! And then that Air Force man had come and taken her away! No one had been to her house for the entire forty-eight hours that he'd been watching. He knew his time was limited, he knew they'd be looking for him and now his plans had been once more ruined by that man! Sanger decided then, that he'd have revenge on that Colonel O'Neill as well. After all, Adrian Conrad was a great man, a man of much more importance than a mere Air Force colonel and major.

Sanger knew he could still help Adrian, as soon as he had his specimen back. Once he had her and had discovered the secrets of her survival, of how the symbiote cured the host, he would be famous! What he could discover would be worthy of the Nobel Prize! The cure for countless human frailties lay locked within her brain. And he would have them; he would have them all! Forcing the anger that once more boiled to the surface back down, Sanger started up the engine of his 'borrowed' vehicle. Patience, he just needed more patience, he repeated to himself as he carefully followed the pick-up carrying his nemesis and his prize.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Luis' head was half-buried under the hood of his truck when he heard his cell phone ringing. Swearing softly at the interruption, he tightened the fitting on the hose before leaving his task, wiping his greasy hands on a towel. The afternoon had turned warm and his jacket, with phone in the pocket, was lying on top of his toolbox. He made it to the phone before the final ring, immediately recognizing the phone number of his employer on the display.

"Hey, Derek," he greeted the caller. Derek was never one to waste time, so Luis merely listened to his employer, automatically nodding even though the other man couldn't see him. "Right. Don't worry, we'll take good care of him and his friend." The call was ended almost before Luis finished his sentence and he smiled, putting the phone in his pocket. Closing the hood of the truck, Luis quickly packed up his tools, carefully putting them away and locking them in the tool chest in the bed of the pick-up.

Checking his watch, he crossed the neatly manicured lawn that surrounded the house where he and Josie lived. They could have lived in the main house, but Josie claimed it was too big and not really her own, so they lived in the smaller manager's house. Carefully wiping his feet on the doormat before entering the back door, Luis opened the door and called to his wife. "Josie?"

"In here," her voice rang out from the kitchen. "You finished with the truck already?" she asked, looking up from the steaming stockpot on the stove.

Luis smiled, his eyes lighting up at the sight of his still beautiful wife, even if she had just been complaining a month ago about turning fifty! Walking the few steps that took him to her, he put his arm around her waist and kissed her. Looking down at the large pot on the stove he asked, "What are you making?"

"Vegetable soup," she said, continuing to stir the contents.

"Made enough?" he teased. Josie still hadn't gotten the knack of cooking for just the two of them. She still made enough food for a small army. Not that he could complain, she was an excellent cook.

She jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow before replying placidly, "The leftovers will freeze quite nicely."

"Well, that won't be a problem. Got company coming to the chalet."

"We do?" Josie set the spoon down on the spoon rest, turning to look at him. "Why didn't you tell me when you came in?" she complained mildly, turning the burner down and putting the lid on the pot. "When will they get here?" she asked, taking off her apron and Luis knew her mind was already racing with what they would need to do to get the chalet ready for guests. Not that it wasn't already clean to within an inch of its existence, but his wife was particular and the chalet had been empty for six weeks.

"Don't you want to know who it is?" he asked, smiling at her somewhat annoyed look.

"Why? Is it somebody we know?" She looked skeptical and Luis' smile widened, enjoying the moment.

"Jack O'Neill."

"Jack O'Neill!" she practically shrieked and then hit him soundly on the shoulder with her fist. "Why didn't you say so!"

"I just did," he teased.

Her smile faded though and she looked at him, her hazel eyes suddenly serious. "What's wrong?"

"Why would something be wrong?"

"Jack hasn't been here in over six years. And then..." she let her voice trail off and Luis knew what she wasn't saying. It had been right after his divorce had been finalized and O'Neill had spent a week at the chalet, in self-imposed isolation. Until the last day when he'd shown up at their doorstep and Josie had taken one look at him and pulled him into her arms and simply held him. The wounded look in his eyes had faded somewhat and the three of them had spent an undemanding evening together.

"He's bringing someone with him."

"Is he now?" Josie snorted, hanging up her apron.

"A woman."

That made her pause, as she turned from and looked at him. "A woman? Jack O'Neill is bringing a woman here?" Josie's eyes lit up and Luis regretted teasing her. His wife was one of those women who wasn't happy unless everyone around her was happily involved in a relationship.

"A friend, Derek said. Don't go getting any ideas," he warned his wife.

"Why? Is there something else?"

Damn, but the woman knew him too well. "Derek wasn't sure." Luis shrugged at Josie's skeptical look. "All we currently know is that Jack needs a place where he and his friend can rest and recuperate," his wife's eyebrows predictably rose with that comment, "for a couple of weeks."

"Are they coming from Colorado Springs?" she asked. Luis knew she was bursting with curiousity, but she was also ever practical--and they did have the chalet to get ready.

"Jerry's flying them out this afternoon."

"Well, we better get busy then."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The small Cessna banked under the clouds, the private runway just visible through the pines and light rain. Jack glanced over his shoulder to check on Sam. Her eyes were closed, her neck bent at an awkward angle that had to be uncomfortable. But she didn't stir. When they'd boarded, the pilot had giver her a stadium blanket and she had wadded up part of it as a pillow, part as a cover. Jack couldn't tell if she was asleep or just shutting out the world. Turning his attention back to the expansive vista still before them, the plane was buffeted slightly by the wind from the storm. Rubbing his eyes tiredly, he really hoped he had done the right thing.

"We're almost there, Jack."

Jack nodded, looking briefly at the young man piloting the plane. "The storm going to be a problem, Jerry?"

The pilot grinned, clearly enjoying the rough weather. "Nah, just makes this milk run more interesting, is all."

Jack grunted, not really sharing the pilot's enthusiasm but glad the weather wasn't going to be a problem. The flight from the Springs to Telluride was a relatively short one and while he could have driven, his arm still bothered him a bit and he also hadn't been sure how Sam would have held up. So, Jack had gladly taken Derek up on his offer of use of the plane and the SUV he kept at the ranch.

When he'd first come up with the idea to take Sam away, Jack had first thought of going to his cabin. But, he'd quickly decided the trip would take too long and besides--after all her refusals to go with him--he figured it would be too cliched to take her there now. So, as he'd considered something closer, his thoughts had immediately turned to Derek James, the one person who had exactly what Jack needed and who also owed him, big time. And thank god, he'd gotten through to Derek, and the guesthouse on his ranch near Telluride was available for as long as Jack needed.

Frighteningly enough, getting Sam to agree to go away with him had been the easiest part of the whole plan. And more than anything else, her listless agreement and subdued manner told him something was seriously wrong with her. Not physically, he thought anyway. But he'd worked with people who had suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder, and while he knew enough about the symptoms to know that Sam wasn't suffering from that, she was at least suffering from some kind of mild depression. And while he also that knew Fraiser was a good doctor and cared about her patients, lately the good doctor had been working understaffed and overwhelmed at the SGC. And just like him, Jack acknowledged ruefully, Sam was good at hiding what was really going on. By the time she'd recovered from her faint, he'd already set his plan in motion. Not wanting to give Sam time to think of the multitude of reasons why going with him was a bad idea, Jack had pushed her and they had been on their way by late afternoon.

//He'd come back into the living room, after calling Derek, and found Sam sitting up on the sofa. Her eyes were still a bit glassy and she looked at him curiously. "How'd I get here?"

"You fainted."

She had grimaced at that and made a motion like she was going to stand, but then reconsidered, sitting back on the sofa. She didn't say anything, just closed her eyes.

"Sam." Just her name, but her eyes flashed open and she looked directly at him. The quiet despair he saw there only firmed his resolve. "I think it would be good if we got away for awhile." She didn't say anything, but she didn't look away. "I've already made the arrangements." She slowly nodded her head and Jack took that as agreement. When she didn't do anything but continue to sit on the sofa, he spoke again. "We'll leave as soon as you pack."

That seemed to rouse her, and she stood up murmuring, "Right, I'll pack." She brushed past him, a bit unsteadily, and he followed her down the hallway to her bedroom. Only as he walked behind her did he realize she was wearing a pair of very wrinkled and grubby looking navy blue sweatpants and a not-quite matching light blue sweatshirt. And now that he wasn't quite so focused on the fact that she'd passed out on him, he could see that she hadn't washed her hair in several days and she had an odor that was distinctly not Sam.

When they reached her bedroom, he'd stopped her with a gentle touch on her arm. "Sam, why don't you take a shower," he'd nodded towards what he hoped was the adjoining bathroom, "and I'll throw some things together? Okay?"

She nodded again and went into the bathroom, not quite closing the door all the way. Jack was relieved when he heard the water start running and then the sound of the shower. Going to her closet, he opened the door and hoped like hell that he'd find a suitcase or something. //

Things had moved swiftly from that point on, he'd found a duffel, Sam had showered and changed and between them--but mostly him, they'd managed to pack what would probably be more than enough clothing and other personal items for a week or so in the mountains. He hadn't let himself think about the intimacy of packing for her, her uncharacteristic docility worrying him more than having to handle her undergarments! Once finished, he'd locked up her house, and almost as an afterthought, gathered up her laptop and briefcase, and herded her out to his truck. After a quick stop at his house and another quick packing job, they were on their way.

Before they'd left town, Jack had called Daniel from the airfield where Derek kept his planes. Jack figured he had better let someone know he was going away and taking Sam. Not sure what kind of response he'd receive, Jack had been gratified at Daniel's unquestioning acceptance of his plan and unexpected encouragement. His enigmatic words, however, had struck too close to the heart of the matter. "The last few months have been rough on you and Sam. You both need this time." As far as Jack was concerned, that was getting way too close to feelings that were better off ignored. Feelings that he thought he could ignore, that was until he'd held her limp body in his arms, the strain of not only her kidnapping but the last few months all too evident in her slender form and pale face. Of course, what Daniel had said next had alarmed him even more.

//"Oh, by the way, Jack. Hammond was just notified this morning that one of the doctors working for Adrian Conrad has escaped custody."

"Escaped? How the hell did that happen?"

"Ah, apparently a clerical error. Somehow the paperwork for his release was processed and he was freed."

He snorted. "A clerical error? Sounds like something the NID would arrange, Daniel, to get him into their custody." Of course, an error was possible, they already knew how inept those same authorities had been when it come to preventing the escape of Conrad, Maybourne, and god knows who else had been at the deserted hospital.

"Ah, possibly Jack...though Hammond doesn't seem to think so."

"Right, whatever." An escaped crackpot doctor in Seattle was the least of his concerns right now.

"So, maybe it's good you're taking Sam away."

Something in the tone of Daniel's voice warned Jack there was more going on than other man had told him. "Daniel, is there something you're not telling me?" he'd asked suspiciously.

"No, I don't think so...oh, wait! You were already gone when this Doctor Sanger tried to attack Sam."//

Jack had listened with growing disbelief as Daniel described the incident in the parking lot in Seattle. This Doctor Victor Sanger was clearly a nut case and obsessed with Carter. And now he was free. So yeah, it probably was a good thing he was taking Sam away for awhile, and hopefully the authorities would catch up with the mad doctor before he could get any ideas about coming after Sam. And Jack was also glad now, that he'd packed his handgun, something that at the time had seemed a bit of overkill, but with Daniel's unexpected news, Jack felt better having it close at hand.

The plane made a sharp bank to the right and Jack realized Jerry was getting ready for his final approach before landing. Checking Sam one more time, to make sure she was still securely fastened in, he was surprised to find her eyes open and looking at him. He smiled and she returned his smile with a tentative one. "Almost there," he told her. "You okay?" She nodded somberly and he felt a slight easing of the tension in his gut.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rain was pouring down now, the windshield wipers on his stolen car leaving large streaks and smears with each swipe of the blades. Sanger had rapidly found out why the old Impala had been parked with the keys in the ignition. The driver had probably been hoping someone would steal it! Dodge Impala... or was it Chevy? Sanger didn't know and didn't really care. It was a car and it served his purposes, the V-8 engine not complaining too loudly as he drove with reckless speed through the mountains on Highway 50. Looking at the gas gauge, Sanger calculated he'd have to stop for gas soon. The inside dome light didn't work, so he flicked on his small penlight, fumbling with the map with one hand while steering with the other. Montrose, yeah, he could stop in Montrose, replenish his supplies, maybe sleep a bit and then finalize his plan.

Oh, he knew where the oh-so-smart Colonel was taking *his* major. The boy running the fuel pumps at the airfield had been more than obliging with the information he needed, once he'd given the kid fifty dollars. That it had been the last of cash hadn't worried Sanger at the time. And he wasn't too worried now. He knew using his credit card was a risk, but he'd have Major Carter back in less than forty-eight hours, or at the least the most valuable part of Major Carter, her brain. Thanks to the kid at the airfield and twenty minutes at a computer in one of Colorado Springs' public libraries, Sanger knew everything he needed to know about Derek James and his holdings in San Miguel County.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sam took the hand the young pilot offered her as he helped her out of the plane. She stood on the dirt runway, shivering a bit in the light rain and brisk breeze that was blowing and looked around curiously. She knew they were somewhere near Telluride, but all she could currently see in the early evening light where pine trees, mountains, several vehicles, a Quonset hut and a larger building that she imagined could house the small plane they'd arrived in. But still, it was nice, the air fresh and full of the scents of the forest. The chill of the early autumn evening felt good against her skin. Sam took a deep breath, filling her lungs with the clean, untainted air. A far cry from the stale and stuffy atmosphere of her home the last week. For the first time in days she was starting to feel like she was alive.

Standing under the limited protection of the wing, Sam watched idly while Jack and the pilot talked. It was dangerous she knew, to think of him as Jack. But everything he had done so far was so far removed from 'Colonel', she couldn't think of him as anything else but Jack. The younger man sprinted off towards the hut, their conversation apparently over and Jack turned back towards her.

"Jerry's gone to get the car, then we can head up to the house."

Jack walked around her, going to the open the cargo hatch of the plane. She followed, responding to some innate need to be close to him. "Where are we?" she asked, genuinely curious.

Jack stopped what he was doing and simply stared at her. Sam wasn't sure why a simple question would garner such a reaction, but she persevered. "I know you said something about Telluride...but," and with that she gestured around her, "where?"

He grinned at her and she felt herself relaxing a bit. He didn't answer right away, instead finished what he was doing and soon, he was standing next to her and they were surrounded by her duffel, his larger one and, surprisingly enough to her, her briefcase. "Blue Pines Ranch."

"Blue Pines?" she questioned, looking around at what she could see of the surrounding forest. "I thought they were 'Blue Spruce'?"

"Yeah, well Derek never was a big one for botany."

"And Derek would be?"

"Derek James."

She shot him an annoyed look and O'Neill's grin only widened.

"Derek James, former college room-mate and now highly successful entrepreneur," he finally told her. "I think he's currently doing something with micro-processors. Anyway, he owns a good chunk of San Miguel County and we will be guests at his ranch."

"The whole ranch?" she asked, envisioning cattle and horses, visions of TV westerns filling her brain.

"Actually, the guest house. It's a ranch in name only, I think. I know he keeps some horses, but that's about it."

Sam had nodded, gazing with more interest at the surrounding area. As best as she could tell in the early evening gloom, the airfield was well tended and the 'car' Jerry had just driven up to them was a huge Suburban.

The young man hopped out the Suburban, handing the keys to Jack. "Here you go!" He loaded their bags into the vehicle and then proceeded to open the passenger door for her.

The rain had started coming down harder and as Sam got into the posh vehicle she heard Jack ask Jerry, "You flying back tonight?"

"Yeah...what's a little rain?" Jerry laughed then, closing her door. Sam looked out the window at the low clouds and dwindling daylight, glad she was on the ground! "If you need anything, just call Luis. He and Josie are both here."

"Thanks and safe trip," Jack told the young man, shaking his hand. Jerry handed over the keys to the Suburban and waved through the window at her while Jack got into the plush vehicle.

"Luis and Josie?" Sam asked, surprisingly curious about this previously unknown aspect of her CO's life.

"Luis and Josie Martinez, they're the caretakers here. Well really, Luis is the ranch manager and Josie runs the domestic side of things."

"You come here often?" she asked, fastening her seatbelt.

Jack started up the Suburban, the engine purring softly. "Well, not for a few years. But..." and he looked over at her then, "I helped Derek out of a tight situation once and have had an open invitation to 'come stay' whenever I wanted."

"And this is one of those times, eh?" she murmured quietly, more to herself than her companion, while Jack put the powerful vehicle into gear and drove towards a dirt road just visible at the northeastern edge of the airfield.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marco paced the small office restlessly, checking the clock again for the umpteenth time over the last hour. Jerry had radioed in that he had run into a little bad weather, but that he would back by midnight--and it was almost midnight now. Crossing to the door, Marco opened it and looked out again, scanning the sky for some sign of the small plane. A light rain was falling, but it wouldn't have been enough to stop Jerry. Marco was worried. Jerry was a good friend and Mr. James was the best employer he'd ever had! He couldn't think now why he'd answered that man's questions and taken the money. At the time, fifty dollars had seemed like so much! But the more he thought about it, the more Marco realized something wasn't right with that man or the questions he'd asked. Even though the man had said he was a doctor and needed to help the nice lady, there had been something in his eyes that now gave Marco the chills. Marco knew he needed to tell Jerry about what had happened and what the man wanted, Jerry would know what to do.

Closing the door, Marco decided to try radioing Jerry when the radio suddenly blared to life. It was Jerry! Rushing to the mic, Marco keyed it on. Jerry's voice faded in and out with static, the familiar call signals reassuring Marco. "Hey Marco, buddy. You there? Over."

"Yeah, Jerry...where are you?" He ran his free hand through his hair. "I've been getting worried."

"I'm in Alamosa, buddy. Bad weather and then that darn oil gauge started acting up again." His voice crackled with static. "Figured I better go to ground."

"Okay." Marco took a deep breath, wondering if he should tell Jerry about the man now, when the radio crackled again.

"Listen, Marco, you go home. I'll be there tomorrow morning sometime. Just need to wait this storm out and get the oil gauge fixed."

"I... there's something I need to tell you, Jerry. It's real important."

Jerry's chuckle sounded over the receiver. "You'll have to tell me tomorrow, Marco." Jerry's voice faded out. "Too much electricity in the air, I'm losing the signal. See you tomorrow. Over and out." And with a final surge of static, the radio went dead.

Marco set the mic down and once more crossed to the front office windows, feeling only slightly better now that he'd talked to Jerry. Looking out at the familiar lights and nighttime view, he wondered if maybe he was making too much out of the doctor's questions. He shivered again, the only problem was he couldn't forget the thinly veiled look of madness he'd seen shining in the man's beady eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The smell of coffee finally lured Sam out of her bedroom. It was still early, not quite 0700, but evidently Jack kept the same hours whether he was working or not. Or so it seemed, at least she'd know for sure once this unexpected vacation was over, she mused. Which was something she intended to find out today, why he had brought her here. Last night, her initial enthusiasm had once more given way to the creeping lethargy that seemed to plague her these days. The trip to the guest house, which was truly a misnomer for the beautiful chalet they were staying in, had taken roughly ten minutes or so. The house, built on the similar lines to a Swiss chalet, had just been visible in the gathering night. Jack had quickly let them in and she had collapsed on the soft leather sofa in the large main room and let Jack handle everything else. Under his watchful eye she'd somehow managed to eat the steaming cup of vegetable soup he'd brought her and then she'd pleaded tiredness, wordlessly asking for a reprieve from whatever he had planned.

His eyes had been tender and all too knowing as he'd nodded, guiding her up the stairs to the bedroom that would be hers. Her duffel was already there, along with her briefcase. She'd smiled tiredly and then compelled by something deep inside, she'd reached out and just touched his arm, as he'd turned to leave. "Thank you, sir." It wasn't much and didn't even begin to cover all that she felt at that moment, but it had come from her heart.

He'd smiled, that soft, half one that always surprised her, because it hinted at a Jack O'Neill she only had brief glimpses of but desperately wanted to know. "Sleep well, Sam," was all he'd said though, his departure leaving her feeling unexpectedly alone. And she had slept well, to her great surprise. The huge bed had been soft and inviting, the soft, crisp sheets and luxurious down comforter cradling her in warmth all night long.

But now...now they had the whole day ahead of them. If she could just hang onto the energy that had gotten her out of bed and dressed. Opening the door, Sam went in search of the coffee, and Jack. Slowly heading down the stairs, Sam was more than impressed by her surroundings. Last night she had only been vaguely aware that the chalet was nice but by daylight and wide-awake, she saw that it was stunning. Beautifully decorated, yet somehow warm and inviting at the same time, Sam concluded that this Derek was doing exceeding well in 'micro-processors'--especially if this was the guesthouse! Her mind boggled at what the main house must look like!

Reaching the main level, and briefly gawking at the awesome mountains visible from the floor to ceiling windows in the main room, Sam followed the sounds of movement to the kitchen.

She paused in the doorway, impressed with both the kitchen and the man currently standing at the stove with his back to her. She knew she shouldn't do it, that it would only get her longing for things that she couldn't have, but his rear view was so damn nice! He was actually wearing jeans that fit *just right*--and his shirt tucked in for once, his broad shoulders tapering down nicely to his tight butt. Breaking her dangerous train of thought, Sam cleared her voice, finally murmuring, "Good morning."

He swung around instantly, his face lighting up in a smile and she found herself immediately relaxing. "Good morning yourself." He grinned at her, "I was hoping you'd get up soon, since there's no way," and with that he gestured to the skillet on the stove top, "I'll be able to eat all this omelet by myself."

She wasn't really hungry, but she wouldn't tell him that. She'd try and eat...because that's what he wanted. "Sounds good," she said, crossing to the coffeemaker. He'd set out a mug for her. Pouring herself a cup, she took a sip. It was hot and delicious. Obviously Derek didn't cut corners when it came to his guests. Sam sat at the kitchen table, sipping her coffee and watching Jack while he finished cooking breakfast. The kitchen was modern and rustic at the same time, with enough equipment and appliances to please the fussiest chef. And even though the serving of omelet he sat in front of her looked and smelled appetizing, Sam was only able to eat a few bites, before she gave up and simply sat and watched him eat.

"Not hungry?" he asked, gesturing towards her with his fork.

"Not really," she sighed.

"Pretty normal, actually," he commented, using a slice of toast to sop up some egg and cheese.

"What?" she asked, pausing in the act of lifting her coffee mug.

"Loss of appetite, pretty normal for someone suffering from depression."

She bristled at his comment. "And what makes you think that's my problem, *Doctor* O'Neill?"

He sat back in his chair and looked her for so long that she started to squirm before she stopped herself. "It's pretty obvious, Sam."

"I...well," she floundered for a moment and then gave up. This was Jack, he knew her better than anyone--whether he knew it or not. She averted her eyes, not wanting to let him see. "I haven't been doing too well, have I?"

"Well, if the condition you were in when I went over to your house yesterday is any indication, then I'd say, no, you haven't been doing too well."

Well, he had her there. She had been a pretty sad case yesterday, and for the last week or so. Surprisingly enough today, she didn't feel quite as bad. At least she'd managed to get out of bed...and dressed in something clean and halfway presentable--though her faded jeans and sweatshirt currently hung on her. "I don't know what's been wrong," she confessed quietly.

"I do," he answered, his gaze intense.

She laughed shakily. "Mind sharing with me, then?"

"Being experimented on like you were a lab rat and almost getting killed doesn't tell you something?"

She couldn't stop the shiver that ran through her at his words. "I guess I try not to think about that," she whispered. And even though she tried not to think about it, she knew it haunted her dreams...what little she could remember of them.

His eyes were suddenly serious and he sat forward in his chair, setting his fork down. "You don't have to think about it, Sam. What you have to do is move beyond it."

"Easy for you to say," she muttered, suddenly annoyed by his armchair psychology. She knew she needed to move beyond it, she wanted to leave it behind her! Even if it currently seemed beyond her ability....

He stood up then, the chair skidding backwards in the quiet kitchen. Before she could react, he had crossed to where she sat and squatted down by her chair. Totally disarming her, she could only stare at him as he gently took one of her cold hands into his much warmer and larger one. "I know it's easy to say, Sam. Hell, I've been there myself. What's important is that you're not alone-not anymore."

She studied him carefully; his usual casual demeanor replaced with something more intense and disturbing. "Jack..." her voice trailed off and she wasn't sure what she could say to him. He saved her though, as he so routinely did.

"It's okay, Sam." He gave her a reassuring smile, squeezing her hand and standing. "No expectations and no pressure, okay? Just two friends spending their recovery together, okay?"

"Okay," she told him, somehow feeling comforted and threatened all at the same time! Maybe she was reading too much into the whole situation. Just because the two of them were alone, in a beautiful and isolated location, didn't mean anything--did it?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sanger pulled his jacket tighter, once more scanning the area with the high-powered binoculars he'd had the foresight to buy in Montrose. Maybe he should have bought a heavier coat too, but he was confident he'd have his quarry soon. Satisfied that his two subjects were still inside the house, he sat down on the damp ground, ignoring the discomfort. Opening a candy bar, Sanger munched on the chocolate and deliberated on his plan. The fact that it was still rather nebulous didn't bother him too much. As far as he'd seen, there was no one else around for miles. The main ranch was five miles away and he'd only seen two people there, who could only be the caretakers and not likely to cause him any trouble. Which only left separating Major Carter from her watchdog. Now that he was this close, Sanger found he could be patient, settling back against a sturdy pine tree, he waited.

Sounds carried well in the clear air of the mountains, so hours later when Sanger heard the slamming of a door, he hopped up and grabbed the binoculars. Even in the gathering dusk, he could easily make out O'Neill, who was clearly visible in the motion-activated lights that had come on when he'd exited the back door to the chalet. Just as he'd hoped, O'Neill was making another trip to the woodpile at the rear of the chalet. He'd been out twice since Sanger had taken up his current location, once at mid-morning and then again at mid-afternoon. Glancing at his watch, Sanger concluded that this would more than likely be his final trip of the day. Lucky for him the Colonel liked having a fire burning.

But, it wouldn't hurt to stay a bit longer, just to be sure. He had an excellent view of the chalet, why with the binoculars he could even see right into the main room. The huge windows and the light shining inside the room making everything perfectly clear. Settling back to watch his subjects a bit longer, Sanger took a swallow from his bottle of water and then looked through the binoculars, feeling a rush of satisfaction when he caught a glimpse of Major Carter through the large picture windows. By this time tomorrow, he would finally have what was rightfully his.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sam sat on the sofa, watching with only mild interest as Jack built the fire back up. She'd seen the thermostat, she knew there was central heating in the chalet. But he seemed determine to heat the whole place with keeping a fire going in the huge stone fireplace in the main room. Not that it wasn't nice...and cozy. Though there hadn't been any rain all day, the skies had been overcast and threatening. Not that she'd been even tempted to go outside or do anything...except nap, or pretend to read and try not to feel too guilty when Jack had literally waited on her hand and foot all day. She'd picked at the tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches he'd fixed for lunch and she had no greater hope of eating anything more that evening.

"Sir?"

"Yeah?" he glanced up, from where he knelt in front of the fireplace.

"I'm not really hungry."

"I know, Sam. Don't worry, I won't try to force you to pretend to eat anything tonight."

His voice wasn't harsh, only sadly discouraged and she felt a fresh wave of guilt wash through her. Here he was only trying to be kind and help her and she couldn't even eat what he prepared for her. "I'm sorry," she whispered, the despair that she'd managed to conquer all day finally overwhelming her. She looked at him, her eyes pleading for understanding. "I don't want to be this way," her voice broke, but she doggedly continued. "I just don't seem to have any control over it." It was hard, she was a private person and in normal circumstances, she never would have dreamt of confiding in him. But, this was hardly their usual circumstances and she knew enough about his past to suspect he would understand her depression. Oh god, she suddenly realized she was wringing her hands, which more than anything told her that she was way too close to the edge. But she needed to continue, to make him understand.

"I don't really remember too much about the first few days I was there. They kept me pretty drugged up and immobilized." She unconsciously rubbed her wrist, the memory of the leather restraints still amazingly vivid. "I seemed to build up a tolerance to the drugs, though." She dared a quick look at Jack; he was standing now by the fireplace, watching her intently. "One time when they weren't watching too closely, I was able to get a scalpel and I managed to saw through my restraints." Her laugh was bitter, "Not that it made much difference in the long run, but I almost escaped. But I couldn't kill him, not in cold blood."

"Couldn't kill whom?"

"Conrad. I believed him when he said we both could live." She smiled slightly. "Naïve of me, I know. I always seem to want to think the best of people." Taking a deep breath and looking straight at him for the first time she started, she continued. "It was only when they came in that final time, to kill me, that I realized I was only a tool to them. Worse than that actually, just something to used and discarded. My only value being what they could extract from my brain."

She laughed harshly, ignoring Jack's wince. "But then that's all I've ever been, isn't it? A tool--to my father, the Air Force, my fiancé, Jolinar, Linnea, Martouf, Orlin." She paused, knowing he wouldn't like what she was going to say next, but needing to get it out in the open. "And to you."

"Sam," he interrupted, his expression shocked. "You know that's not true!"

"Isn't it? Sometimes the only value I think I have for you is how quickly I can solve whatever crisis is currently at hand. It's always 'Carter, figure it out' or 'Carter, do something'." She could feel the tears welling in her eyes, all the despair was building up in her again. She didn't know why she was trying to explain it to him, it wouldn't make any difference anyway and all she wanted to do was forget. Forget about the men who had almost killed her, forget that the only thing she was good for was her brain, forget that she loved a man she shouldn't.

"Sam, I don't...I never--" Before she even realized his intent, Jack had crossed the room and was sitting by her side, pulling her into his arms. His action so totally shocked her that she found herself automatically leaning into his embrace and had actually wrapped her arms around him when she suddenly realized what was happening. She was discouraged and she shouldn't take whatever comfort he might offer. And while she tried to stay mad, her heart betrayed her, filling with joy at with the warmth of his arms around her, pushing aside the deep ache that had been there for longer than she could remember.

And then it was too late, his strength and his warmth had wrapped around her, pulling her under his spell and she was lost. Part of her knew he only meant to comfort her, that the hands running soothingly up and down her back were meant to soothe, not arouse. Oh, but it felt so good, to have his arms around her, to be held tightly against him and she couldn't help but respond, drawn to him like a moth to the flame.

Without conscious thought, she nestled closer and moaned softly against his throat, her lips just brushing against his skin. She shivered, the accidental caress sending tendrils of desire curling through her. For the briefest of moments she had forgotten why she was here, with him...the past few weeks fading into nothingness while she ignored the voice of common sense that told her seeking solace in his embrace would only lead to future pain. But right now, the future didn't matter and if anything could make her forget the past few weeks, it would be the too brief moments of peace she knew awaited her in his arms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jack knew the first touch of her lips against his neck was accidental, the second lingering caress however, was not. Fire licked through him, gathering hotly in his groin as she delicately bit and then soothingly kissed his suddenly hypersensitive flesh. "Sam," he groaned harshly, grasping her shoulders and forcing her away from him.

"No, Jack..." she pleaded, her hands clutching at his shirt, her eyes filled with a combination of anguish and passion that twisted his guts. "Help me forget."

God, he wanted her--it felt like he'd *always* wanted her, but not like this. Not when she clearly had doubts regarding him and only wanted the temporary oblivion sex could bring. Grabbing her wrists, he pulled her hands free of his shirt and stood up, leaving her sprawled on the sofa. She looked up at him, panting softly, her eyes wide and vulnerable. "Dammit all to hell," he swore tiredly, turning his back on her and walking over to the fireplace. Placing his arm on the mantle, he rested his head on his arm and gazed into the flames, hoping that she would just get up and go to her bedroom and lock the door.

He heard her stand up and unconsciously held his breath, waiting for the sound of her footsteps on the stairs. Only it never came, instead her arms wrapped around him and she pressed her firm body against his back. He stiffened, but made no move to push her away.

"Jack," her voice was muffled and he could just hear the faint catch of tears. "Don't make me beg."

With her soft plea, the decision was suddenly very easy. He had failed her in so many ways, not only recently, but in countless other instances when he could have been there for her, but had let duty and regulation guide him instead. He wouldn't make her beg and he wouldn't ignore her need this time, especially since he felt a similar urgency. Gently grasping her wrists, he once more found himself pulling free of her arms, only this time he turned and pulled her into his embrace. Cradling her against him, he gently stroked her back, murmuring into her hair. "You don't have to beg, Sam." She trembled and he slid a hand through her hair, pulling her head back. Her eyes were still shadowed but he could just see the first faint glimmer of hope in their blue depths. "I'll help you forget," he whispered roughly. "I'll help us both forget."

Scanning the living room, Jack came to the quick conclusion that the only suitable place to continue this was right where they were, in front of the fire. And while Jack had had many fantasies regarding finally making love to Sam, he was totally unprepared for the wild urgency and passion that flashed out of control at the first touch of his lips on hers. If Sam was desperate to forget, he was just as desperate to help her. The first tentative touch of his lips against hers quickly gave way to unrelenting desire when she immediately opened her mouth, her tongue already probing eagerly against his lips. Groaning her name, he let her in, drowning in pleasure as the deep kisses continued.

Thoughts of slow and easy fled as the mating of their mouths continued. Jack drank deeply from her mouth, only stopping when he felt her hands tugging at his shirt. Pulling free of her arms, Jack swiftly stripped off his shirt. His jeans and boxers quickly followed his shirt to the floor and his hands reached for the hem of Sam's sweatshirt. She gave him a leisurely smile and he felt like he'd taken a punch to the gut! Quickly tugging her sweatshirt off and over her head, his breath caught at the vision before him. She wasn't wearing a bra... and even though he desperately wanted her naked, he paused and reached out an unexpectedly shaky hand and gently fondled her breasts. But it wasn't enough. Easing closer, he lowered his head, sucking a tight bud into his mouth. She gasped softly, her hands suddenly grasping his head as he continued his tender assault. Gliding a sure hand down her side, he managed to tug her jeans partially off her hips before he was forced to release her breast in order to finish the job. Reluctantly releasing her breast, he took a step back and deftly unfastened her jeans and panties, tugging them down her slender hips. Her hands rested lightly on his shoulders while she stepped out of the garments and kicked them aside.

Oh god, she was magnificent, her pale body taking on a rosy glow as the light from the fire danced across her quivering flesh. Suddenly desperate to have her beneath him, Jack grabbed both her hands and gently tugged her down onto the plush carpet with him. She followed and moved with him, sliding her body against his in what he knew was a deliberate caress. Kneeling, Jack urged Sam down onto her back, sending a silent thank you to Derek for the heavy padding and thick carpet that cushioned his knees-and his lover.

Reaching out a surprisingly unsteady hand, Jack feathered his fingers lightly down her breastbone to her belly. She moaned softly, her hips moving automatically towards him. Smiling tightly, Jack covered her, her legs automatically parting for him as he settled his hips against her, his rock hard penis already trying to find a home within her willing body. Sam groaned, moving her hips against him, her hands tugging insistently on his hips. Giving into her wordless request, Jack stroked long fingers through her slick folds, finding her damp and more than ready.

The part of his brain th