TITLE: Reprieve

AUTHOR: Shane Vansen

EMAIL: the_fourth_dimension@hotmail.com

STATUS: Complete

CATEGORY: Sam/Jack, angst, hurt/comfort, post-ep

SPOILERS: Abyss

SEASON: 6

RATING: NC-17

CONTENT WARNINGS: explicit sex, language

FEEDBACK: As always, the highlight of my day

SUMMARY: Jack's experience at the hands of Ba'al has left its mark and he turns to Sam for a moment's reprieve, who is willing to do whatever it takes to help him through the aftermath -- no matter what the personal cost.

DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters belong to MGM, Gekko Film Corp and Double Secret Productions. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment purposes and no money exchanged hands. No copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

ARCHIVE: SJA, Heliopolis, Jackfic, and of course my site; anyone else just ask and ye shall be granted

AUTHOR'S NOTES: By my standards this fic is rather dark, but I was compelled to write it. Be warned that this does not start out as a happy story, folks.

Thanks to Sue for betaing and, indirectly, for the title.

Also, I'm working under the assumption that the sarcophagus doesn't heal old scars (not that it's particularly important to the story, but anyway).

***

Sam stared fixedly at the ceiling, her body pliant and her mind empty as she allowed Jack to pound into her almost violently.

It had been the same every night for the past week, starting with his first night out of the infirmary after his torture at the hands of Ba'al. He'd shown up at her place in the middle of the night so drunk that she'd been surprised he'd been able to find her house at all, let alone get there without causing an accident or being arrested for drunk driving. He'd mumbled something incomprehensible to her about the dark and death and needing something before stumbling forward into her arms.

Sam had held him as he trembled in her embrace, but as far as she could tell he never shed a tear. She'd lost track of how long they'd been standing in her front hall when Jack's hand had started caressing her body, drifting up to cup a breast. Before Sam quite knew what was happening they were in her bedroom and, with the aid of the condoms and personal lubricant she kept in her nightstand drawer next to her vibrator, he was using her body in what could only be an attempt to escape his personal demons. Given how long it had been since she'd last had sex the first couple of minutes of his initial penetration had hurt considerably, but Sam had merely pressed her lips together and bit back the urge to cry out. Jack had needed her and she wasn't about to turn him away, either by word or deed. Only minutes after he'd finished, Jack had left without a word.

In the past week, the pattern had been repeated every night. He always showed up in the middle of the night, sometimes drunk, sometimes sober, and she allowed him to find an hour's reprieve buried deep within her. In the past week, not once had they discussed what he - what they - were doing. In the past week, they had never in the light of day acknowledged their actions.

In the past week, in spite of their apparent intimacy, they had never even kissed.

Jack's rhythm above and within her changed, and she knew from experience that he was about to climax. Unwittingly she reached up a hand to touch his cheek, the contact causing him to open his eyes to look at her. The raw pain she saw in his gaze, the hopeless longing, the helpless desperation, made her flinch involuntarily as his lids dropped once more, his orgasm taking him over. Sam watched his face twist into the unique pleasure/pain expression of release, his hips slamming into hers in a few final thrusts before he withdrew and rolled off her, collapsing onto his back beside her on the bed, one arm thrown over his eyes as he panted for breath.

It was at this point that Sam either rolled away from him and pretended to sleep or went into the bathroom to clean herself up, only to find him gone by the time she returned. Tonight, however, she propped herself up on her side so that she could observe him, driven by an impulse prompted by the brief glimpse into his obviously suffering soul.

She started at his head, raking her eyes over his body. His hair, now entirely grey and the most noticeable indication that he'd aged in the years since they'd first met. His face, covered just now by an arm but better known to her than her own features, from the exact colour of his eyes when he was angry to the endearing quirk of his lips when he was trying to make her laugh. His chest, covered by a smattering of hair and scars; some of them known to her, some from the days about which he never talked. His stomach, just starting to show the slightest hint of middle age spread but still firm. His penis, as yet encased in the latex condom and capable of an impressive erection which, she was sure, could cause her considerable pleasure under other circumstances. His legs, still muscular and bearing more scars, particularly around his right knee where he'd endured a number of surgeries over the years.

Raising her eyes back to his face Sam spoke, breaking their tacit agreement. "We can't keep doing this, you know."

Jack stiffened for a moment before removing his arm; he was a master of denial but somehow she knew that if she confronted him directly he would force himself to deal with it. His voice when he answered was thick and hoarse. "I know."

"Tell me what happened," Sam said, deciding to get right to the point. "Tell me what Ba'al did to you."

Haltingly, not looking at her, he recounted what she'd read in his post-mission report; out of deference to his experience, Hammond hadn't had an official debrief even after Jack had been cleared by Doctor Fraiser. Once he'd stumbled to a halt Sam reached over to touch him lightly on the arm. "Now tell me what you left out of the report," she ordered quietly.

He looked at her, startled, obviously uncomfortable that she understood him well enough to know that he was leaving things out. His mouth opened and closed a few times before he shook his head in apparent frustration and sat up, pulling on his clothes.

"No." The word came unbidden from Sam's mouth, surprising her with its firmness. "You will not come into my house, into my bed and use me just to leave when it gets too hard for you, goddamn it!"

Her last words were a near-shout as she knelt in the center of her bed, uncaring of her nakedness and unaware of her tears until Jack reached out a hesitant hand to wipe them from her cheek. "Don't cry," he murmured, sounding lost, confused. "Please Sam, don't cry." He knelt across from her on the edge of her bed, his hands hovering uncertainly.

His obvious concern for her was the last straw and Sam launched herself into Jack's startled embrace, sobbing full force. "I'm sorry," she whispered brokenly. "I'm so sorry I asked you to take the symbiote."

His arms came around her slowly until he was gripping her tightly, her head buried in his neck. "It's not your fault," he told her, his breath in her ear making her shiver. "I never blamed you Sam. You couldn't have known." His hands caressed her back. "Shit, Sam, I'm sorry. But please don't cry."

Sam rested in his arms for a few minutes longer, bringing her shuddering tears under control. When she finally pulled away he cupped her face in both hands. "Are you okay?"

She snorted somewhat bitterly; despite her own feelings of guilt she still couldn't quite forgive him for intending to walk out on her, especially given his actions of the past week. "Shouldn't I be asking you that?" she questioned, trying to pull away. "I'm not the one who's been fucking my subordinate for the past week in direct violation of the regulations." She was deliberately crude in her wording.

She felt Jack flinch but he didn't release his hold on her upper arms. "You're right," he agreed evenly. "But Sam, you're the only person I could think of to turn to, the only one I knew who could make it better for a little while."

Despite herself Sam let her gaze be drawn back to his. His voice was sincere, vulnerable even, and she felt her anger melt away. Deep down she knew that if she hadn't been willing to help him in whatever way necessary then she would have sent him away the first night, or at the very least reported it to Janet the next day. No, she was at least as culpable as Jack for their actions of the past week if not more so. She'd had the chance to turn him away but instead had allowed him in, every single time.

Unable to find the words Sam instead reached out to rest her hand on his chest right over his heart so that she could feel it pounding strongly, her thumb moving in a slight caress. One of Jack's hands left her arm to rest over her own hand, their fingers overlapping and intertwining. The fingers of his free hand came up to stroke her cheek and Sam closed her eyes instinctively, leaning into his touch. Jack spoke then, his whispered words washing over her face so that she knew he must have leaned closer. "I really am sorry, Sam. I never meant to hurt you, I swear."

"I know you didn't. And I'm sorry too, for asking you to take the symbiote and for saying what I did earlier." She tilted her head back slightly, sensing his presence. "Jack," she breathed, just before his lips closed over hers.

It was the tenderness of the kiss that caught her attention first. Each of their earlier encounters had been rushed, desperate, and all one-sided; she'd derived no physical pleasure from any of their previous sexual acts. This one simple kiss, however, thrilled through her entire body, leaving Sam feeling heated and yearning for more. She parted her lips and slipped her tongue into the hot recesses of his mouth to engage in a slippery dance with his. He responded immediately, threading the fingers of one hand through her hair and wrapping one arm around her waist to pull her tighter against him, their lower bodies pressed together intimately and separated only by the underwear he'd managed to pull on before she'd stopped him. Already Sam felt the first stirrings of arousal; her breath was coming heavier, her breasts swollen and aching delicately for his touch. When he thrust against her lightly, his burgeoning erection growing hard against her, Sam felt the hum of electricity racing throughout her body settle low in her stomach. She moaned in encouragement, breaking off their kiss to gasp for air.

Jack kissed his way up her jaw to her ear, sucking the lobe into his mouth before swirling his tongue along the outer edge of her ear, then licked his way down her neck to her collarbone. Sam, her hands already clutching at his shoulders for support, found her thighs trembling too hard to hold up her weight and was forced to rest her rear end on her heels. She was grateful for the extra support as Jack kissed and licked his way across first one side of her collarbone and then the other, occasionally nipping at her skin playfully with his teeth.

Sam gasped audibly when Jack moved both hands to her back, gently urging her to lean backwards while his mouth encircled an erect nipple, causing her to cry out loudly. She could feel herself trembling as he laved his tongue over one nipple and then the other, his hands the only things holding her upright when her strength fled in the face of his welcome onslaught.

Unable to take any more she urged his head back up so that she could capture his mouth in another forceful kiss. One of his hands skimmed up her side from her hip to her breast, brushing along its outer curve before curling around its fullness as if to test its weight. Sam's hands were also busy, tracing up and down his back and sides before moving to the waist of his boxers and pushing them down, careful not to catch the elastic waistband on his erection. Having pushed them halfway down his thighs she brought her hands back up to rest on his ass, squeezing and kneading, feeling a purely feminine pride at the way he circled his hips against hers with a helpless moan. Encouraged, she reached between their bodies and wrapped a firm hand around his hard length.

Jack jerked convulsively into her hand and against the soft roundness of her belly, tearing his mouth from hers with a harsh cry. His eyes still screwed shut, his breathing as laboured as she'd ever heard it, Jack reached unerringly for her hand and pulled it away. "If you do that again," he bit out with obvious effort, "then this will be over much too soon for my tastes."

He finally opened his eyes and Sam couldn't help the wicked grin she felt spreading over her features at his glazed look. Without comment she cupped a hand around the back of his head and drew him toward her for another kiss.

Jack slowly lowered her onto her back and her legs instinctively parted to grant him room as he followed her down, managing to lose his boxers along the way. The full-body contact was incredible and Sam arched against her lover, seeking even more. He thrust back against her and she could practically feel his restraint in the fine trembling of his muscles. Instead of entering her, however, he shifted slightly to the side so that he could run one hand down her body, tweaking a nipple and swirling across her belly button before reaching his goal. Sam threw her head back and cried out as he used a finger to gather her wetness before pushing gently into her body, her legs parting further in helpless invitation. He gradually added a second finger, then a third, before withdrawing to rub them against her clitoris. Her head thrashed back and forth on the bed as he caressed the sensitive nub, leaving her body taut with need when he stopped altogether. When she opened her eyes, he was staring at her with the most naked look of love and longing that she had ever seen.

"God you're beautiful," he whispered with such raw emotion that she felt herself blush. He readjusted his position so that he was lying fully on top of her, his erection poised at her entrance. Slowly he began penetrating her sensitive walls, lowering his head to whisper in her ear. "Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?" With a small but forceful thrust of his hips he was buried within her depths and she gasped loudly at the sensation. Raising her legs she wrapped them around his waist and Jack reached for a pillow, sliding in beneath her rear end. With a slow roll of her hips she brought him even deeper into her body so that he filled her completely. Arching her back in encouragement, they started thrusting against each other slowly.

Sam rarely climaxed in this position but she found that, with certain people, it was one of her favourites. Lying on her back, Jack moving over and within her, she was surrounded by the weight and heat and smell of him as their bodies gained speed in their intricate dance. She loved being face to face with him, feeling his breath wash over her features and being able to flick her tongue against his neck, tasting his salty sweat. The hot coil low in her stomach grew tighter with every thrust of his body into hers, his pubic bone brushing her clitoris with every in-stroke, and Sam could tell from the subtle change in his rhythm that he was also nearing his release.

"Jack," she panted, suddenly needing to see his eyes. "Jack, look at me."

He did as she asked, his eyes black with passion behind his heavy-lidded gaze. He looked on the very edge of control. Lowering his head, he gasped her name into her ear. "Samantha." His hand brushed unexpectedly against her clitoris and she shattered around him, her legs tightening around his waist and her fingernails doubtlessly leaving marks on his back - not that she particularly cared.

She was still in the midst of her release when Jack let out a hoarse shout and she felt him convulse against her as he reached his own climax. It was only then that she dimly realized, feeling his seed bathing her inner channel, that this was the first time that they'd neglected to use a condom.

It was long minutes later that Jack withdrew from her body to collapse gasping at her side, and Sam felt a brief moment of panic that he was going to grab his clothes and leave, just like every time before now. Her fear proved to be unfounded, however, when he turned and gathered her into his arms.

They shifted until they found a comfortable position, lying on their sides with her back pressed firmly against his chest. His arm was wrapped securely around her waist and Sam could feel his breath, hot on the back of her neck. She was warm and content, floating in the semi-conscious world between waking and sleep.

That was when Jack started talking.

His voice was low, as soft as she'd ever heard it, contrasting markedly with the horrors he recounted in a nearly toneless voice. It was only by the hand that clenched occasionally against her bare stomach and the slight tremor in his voice that she knew how much this was still deeply affecting him. He told her about how many times he'd died, and how many ways. She heard about Shallan and Kanaan's feelings for the slave, the reason why he'd ended up back at Ba'al's fortress. In a tone so low that she almost couldn't hear him Jack confessed that he'd seen Daniel - still unsure if it had been real or if he'd been hallucinating - and how he'd begged his friend to end it.

Finally unable to take any more Sam turned and took him in her arms, nestling her head beneath his chin and whispering quietly in an attempt to comfort him. His breath came short and fast and she almost might have thought that he was crying if she hadn't reached up to stroke his cheek, finding it dry against her fingers.

She stroked his back soothingly and it was a long time before his breath evened and deepened in sleep. She kissed his chest just above his heart and whispered the three words that she still couldn't bring herself to say to his face before making herself comfortable enough for sleep. She wasn't naïve enough to think it would be okay from here on in, but his confessions tonight had gone a long way toward restoring her hopes. If there had been anything good about the past week it was the knowledge that they could in fact keep their personal lives separate from their working relationship - in spite of their nighttime meetings, the two of them had acted normally on base. If they decided to pursue this relationship in secret, Sam was sure that they could keep their feelings for each other from interfering with what had to be done.

Feeling better than she had since Jack had first fallen sick over a month ago, Sam pressed one final kiss to her lover's chest before joining him in sleep.

--end--