"I Don't Know" By Anonyny

Title: I Don't Know.

Author: Anonyny

Rating: Dark (what's new?) Discusses sex, so PG13

Summary: I used to have a problem saying no to people.

Classifications: Sam/Jack kinda, Angst.

Spoilers: None

Archive: SJD, yes

Disclaimer: The property of people who are not me, MGM etc. The story's mine.

Feedback: I haven't eaten in oooooh about six hours… zippy_giggleheiney@hotmail.com

A/N: I promise I am not a manic depressive. Carter's POV.

I used to have a problem saying no to people.

It was why my boyfriend convinced me to have sex with him when I was fifteen. And why I couldn't wash myself clean afterwards.

It became the first regret of my adult life.

So, at the tender age of fifteen, I cut myself off. I decided I wouldn't put myself in the position where I had to say no.

I didn't kiss another boy until I was twenty, and drunk, in a dark room with thumping music.

I couldn't say no to him either.

To say I was somewhat dysfunctional is an understatement.

I left before he woke.

There were others. I loved once.

He told me how I could be clean.

yes.

Then, Jonas.

… I said no.

It overwhelmed me, it became bigger than me.

I didn't say yes for a long time after that.

And then came the tiredness and the fear, the lonliness.

So I said yes. To Pete.

You ask me if I made the right choice.

I don't know.

The End