"The Wedding" By Barbs

TITLE: THE WEDDING

AUTHOR: BARBS

RATING: NC17, BUT ONLY JUST!

SUMMARY: TITLE SAYS IT ALL REALLY

SPOILERS: NOTHING SERIOUS

ARCHIVE: JACKFIC, SJD, SAMJACKNC17, OTHERS PLEASE ASK.

DISCLAIMER: EVERYTHING THAT MAKES MONEY BELONGS TO MGM, GEKKO AND LOTS OF OTHER FOLK MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THAN ME. ONLY THE LOVE IS MINE, AND THAT IS FREE.

NOTES: THIS IS SET SOME YEARS IN THE FUTURE, AFTER DANIEL'S RETURN. I HAVE NOT YET SEEN ANY SERIES 7, SO IF I HAVE TAKEN ANY LIBERTIES WITH THE CANON, PLEASE EXCUSE THEM AS INNOCENT IGNORANCE, NOT WILFUL INTENT! PLEASE DON'T READ THIS UNLESS YOU'VE ALREADY READ "GOLDEN CHILD"---YOU'LL RUIN A GOOD SURPRISE!

Thursday evening at O'Malley's Bar was usually a peaceful night, with no more than a handful of customers staring moodily into their beers, and a couple of local guys playing pool. This Thursday was a little different. It was still early, only about 9pm, but already the group of men in the corner of the bar were well on the way to a very severe collective hangover. The bartenders recognised most of the guys as coming from the Cheyenne Mountain USAF base, and hoped no one was flying the next day!

In the very centre of the melee, Colonel Jack O'Neill was doing his utmost to pour yet another beer down the throat of Jonas Quinn, the Kelownan one-time member of SG1. Jonas looked as if any more liquid poured into his mouth was going to make its way out again pretty quickly, but Jack persisted, and finally got the glass emptied.

"You should have a real broad grin on your face by now, Jonas." Jack smirked.

"How do you work that out?" asked Jonas a little queasily.

"First time drunk at an Earth stag party." Jack replied triumphantly.

"Forgive me if I misunderstood, O'Neill, but were not Dr.Frasier's last instructions to you to look after JonasQuinn?" asked Teal'c, his head tilted quizzically as he looked at his C.O.

"You betcha – that's just exactly what I'm doing --- making sure he doesn't get dehydrated!" No one, not even the man himself, was sure how much Jack had had to drink, but he was still standing, and just about as coherent as ever.

Two hours later, the party was warming up nicely. Graham Simmonds had stripped to the waist and was performing `YMCA' on a table. Daniel Jackson had found that ascension had done nothing to improve his alcohol tolerance and after three beers was now comatose lying on the bar top. The SG11 marines were just disappearing out of the door in a conga line, taking a bewildered Teal'c and Jonas with them, and General Hammond, Louis Ferretti and O'Neill were making a determined assault on a bottle of finest Kentucky bourbon. Jack had it pinned down, Hammond had released the cap and Ferretti was forcing it to reveal its innermost secrets into 3 large tumblers.

"I can't remember having this much fun at my first stag night," mumbled Jack.

Ferretti and O'Neill went back a long way--- "Man, you were so drunk, I'm surprised you can even remember the wedding!"

"Maybe some things are best forgotten," said Jack with a maudlin sigh.

"Now, Colonel, don't be a party pooper!" Hammond grinned, "I woke up on the morning of my wedding buck naked chained to the landing- gear of a fighter on Andrews field! That took a bit of explaining away."

There was a sudden explosion of breaking glass and splintering woodwork as the Marine-led conga line decided to re-enter the bar through the window. Hammond automatically signalled to the bartender to send the repair bill to him – it would not be the first time that an SGC celebration had got out of hand.

As the chain of dancing airmen passed their table, Jack could see that Teal'c was still having a lot of trouble with the conga rhythm, and that his mistimed high kicks were inflicting serious harm on the Marine in front of him. Jonas had opted out altogether, and was being carried along bodily by the men in front and behind him in the line.

With a sprightliness belying his age and waist size, Hammond leapt onto the table top, dethroning Simmonds, who crumpled to the barroom floor. In his finest parade-ground tone, Hammond thundered "Squadron… Squadron….Attention!"

Despite their various degrees of inebriation, their boot camp training stood them in good stead, and the whole of O'Malley's stamped to a rigid halt. At the sound of so many booted feet in unison, Daniel Jackson groaned theatrically, clutched his ears and rolled off the bar onto the floor alongside Simmonds. Jonas was also grounded, dropped on his miktah when the two Marines carrying him had obeyed Hammond's command.

Hammond waved his arms around the room expansively, "Gentlemen, as I hope you all know, we are here to wish one of our own God Speed as he enters the battlefield known as matrimony. He has faced many dangers in the past, and we are sure that as he stands at the altar tomorrow to watch…" With an extra- exuberant wave, Hammond overbalanced and fell off the table into Jack's lap, collapsing the chair under their combined weight. Amid hoots of laughter, they struggled to free themselves from pieces of chair and each other, while Ferretti stood doubled up with mirth at their side

"I guess that'll do for the speeches!" yelled Jack.

"Anyway, your ride is here." Ferretti grinned.

Samantha Carter had arrived just in time to witness Hammond's elegant swallow dive and was praying that Jack was unharmed. She didn't dare think of what Janet Frasier would do to him if he turned up now needing a cast! She knew it probably wouldn't be the first time someone went to the altar in plaster, but she really didn't want it to be at this wedding!

"Jack, are you OK?"

"Never better, thank you for caring! Some bits of me are a little flatter than I usually like them, but I'm sure they'll recover in time to fill out my dress uniform tomorrow!"

"Let's get you all home then. Keys please!"

Jack fumbled in first one pocket then another, trying to locate the keys to his truck. After watching him struggle for a moment or two, Sam sighed, pushed him back up against the bar and patted him down efficiently. She found the keys in the fly pocket of his chinos, and dipped her hand down to recover them. Jack grinned down at her as she grasped his key ring, and murmured "Side-arm, Major!" so that only she could hear. She smiled back, and turned to find a line of airmen waiting to be frisked in the same way.

"In your dreams, flyboys," she said, and started to collect her carpool for the ride home. She had volunteered to drive because she couldn't trust anyone else to get a drunk Jack O'Neill home safely, and this night of all nights, she wanted to be sure of his whereabouts.

Jack, Teal'c and Hammond were walking wounded, able to get themselves to and into the truck. Jonas and Daniel were a slightly more awkward problem. Sam enlisted the help of the few remaining sober Marines to carry them both outside and lay them in the back of the pick-up. She figured it would be pleasanter all round if they were not in the cab, particularly as Jack's vehicle was not noted for its well-cushioned ride.

She drove as smoothly as she could to Hammond's home and there decanted the General, Teal'c and Jonas. Hammond had undertaken to ensure that both of SG1's aliens turned up suitably dressed and completely up to speed as to what was to take place the next day.

Having seen them safe inside, she drove to the O'Neill home, where she had lived happily with Jack for the last six years. Daniel had to be dragged from the truck, but once his feet were on the floor, he was able to stagger into the house.

"Don't you dare let him throw up anywhere else but in the bathroom!" She cautioned Jack. "If he does, you're cleaning it up!"

Together they stripped Daniel of his clothes and forced two large glasses of water down him. They rolled him into bed in their guest room, and his resounding snores followed them out of the door. As Sam made to go down the stairs, Jack caught her around the waist and swung her into his arms. Nuzzling gently at her neck, he said "You don't really have to stay at Janet's tonight. Think how lonely I'm going to get in that great big bed all by myself. I'll probably have nightmares!"

Sam looked into those velvety eyes, smiled, and said, "We agreed I'd go back to Janet's, Jack. Anyway, you've had so much to drink that once you hit that pillow, you won't know whether I'm there or not. And even if I WAS there, you're in no fit state to do anything about it, so don't promise what you can't deliver, Colonel."

Sadly acknowledging the truth of her words, Jack gave her a soft but lingering kiss goodnight, and turned back to their room. After the door had closed, Sam heard a thud as Jack hit the bed, then all was silence. She smiled again, collected her own car keys and drove back to Janet's comfortable home to spend what was left of the night.

Jack woke at 07.00 the next morning and blessed whatever gods were listening for granting him a hangover- free metabolism. He then spared a quick word for the weather gods --- he supposed Daniel would know who they were---- for a fine and clear day.

Thinking of Daniel spurred him into urgent action. The ascended and descended archaeologist would need at least 2 showers and 2 pots of Kenya's finest before he would re-emerge from his drunken stupor as a human being, and Jack also had to ensure they were both correctly dressed. He glanced across at his wardrobe to see his formal dress uniform, complete with cummerbund and ceremonial sword, hanging ready for him. `Bless you, Sam.' Dragging on his sweatpants, he ran downstairs to switch on the coffee machine, the most powerful weapon in his armoury for Operational Daniel.

A couple of hours, a couple of showers and 3 pots of Blue Mountain later, and both men regarded themselves in the mirror. Daniel's charcoal grey suit had been made to measure for him, and the pale blue linen shirt and darker blue plain silk tie gave a picture of understated elegance. Even Daniel himself, one of the galaxy's most modest men, was reasonably satisfied with what he saw.

By contrast, Jack was not a happy camper. "I feel such a nit in this get-up," he snarled, "People will mistake me for an ice-cream salesman! Why couldn't I wear my Blues? It's just as smart, and a hell of a lot more practical!"

Daniel knew that reassurance was useless. It was such a pity that Jack couldn't see what a striking figure he made in his formal Whites. He was tall enough and broad enough in the shoulders to carry off the severe cut of the suit, and his medal honours made a colourful splash of contrast on his chest. With the sword against his side he looked the image of a military hero, and Daniel could well understand why Sam had insisted on Whites.

The ceremony was to be a simple affair, in a bower built on the grassy recreation area on the Mountain top. Most of the SGC were to attend, leaving a skeleton crew to man the Gateroom. This wedding was the most welcome event to hit the SGC in quite a while.

Jack and Daniel arrived at the Mountain a little early, and joined Hammond, also resplendent in Whites. "Have you got the rings, Daniel?" he asked.

"Don't even joke about it! If Jack's asked me once, he's asked me a dozen times." Daniel put his hand in his pocket to show them the two slim gold bands.

"Where are Laurel and Hardy?" asked Jack. "Teal'c has taken Jonas for a stroll, he seemed in need of some fresh air," grinned Hammond.

At that the huge Jaffa and the more slightly-built Kelownan returned.

"Hi, Daniel," said Jonas, "Have you…"

"Don't ask!" interrupted Hammond, Jack and Daniel in chorus.

The relationship between Jonas and Daniel had been strained at first, but across the years, and with so many interests in common, they had become good friends, and Jonas's initial resentment at being expected to cede his team place back to its rightful owner had long been forgotten. Leaving the three SGC warriors together, the two scribes walked slowly away towards the bridal bower, chatting quietly.

Next to arrive was Janet Frasier, wearing an exquisite coat and dress ensemble in pale lemon. The sleeveless shift dress was natural silk, and the light coat was in sheer georgette. She wore no hat, but had a tortoiseshell clip in her hair, and a tan purse and shoes completed her outfit. She looked gorgeous and the three men stood in line for a kiss.

"Don't ruin my make-up, and don't make me cry!" she laughed, and then turning to Jack she whispered, "Look after her!" Jack nodded and bent to kiss her cheek tenderly. Despite all his name-calling, he was really very fond of Dr.Napoleon and, after all, she was Sam's best friend. He escorted her to her seat at the front of the bower, and then walked back as the bridal limousine arrived with the stars of the show. Hammond and Teal'c murmured their best wishes and took their seats along the aisle as Jack turned his attention to the limo.

As the first female occupant of the car emerged, Jack's heart turned right over, and his throat choked with tears. He had not been allowed to know any details of the bridal finery, and the vision of beauty that now stood before him was like something from a dream. He had never seen her looking lovelier. Her dress was simple but stunning, a full-length mid-blue satin gown, with a darker blue sash around her tiny waist, and a little scoop neck-line showing a single strand of pearls circling her delicate neck. She wore white pumps, and a pearl hair band kept back her ash-blonde curls. Carrying a small basket of flower petals, she frowned in concentration. Jack swallowed the very large lump in his throat and bent for a kiss.

"I'm not allowed to do that, I've got a very important job to do," chastised a very firm voice.

Jack chuckled and stood back as the second occupant left the car. If he had thought their daughter was beautiful, her mother was even more so and once again Jack found himself swallowing back tears of joy and adoration. Her outfit was identical to Melissa's, except that the neckline was a little lower, showing the creamy skin of her cleavage just to the place he loved to press his lips. She too wore pearls, and carried a small posy. Sam was staring at him in the same way he was looking at her, amazed that he could appear even more handsome to her than usual.

The spell was broken by their precociously intelligent child, "Excuse me, are you two going to stand there drooling over each all day?"

"I'm so sorry, your Highness," said Jack, bowing to the four year old, and moving aside to let the final occupant of the limo to step down.

The bride wore a classical Grecian style dress in white silk, with laced sandals and a circlet of flowers in her hair. Her pretty face was aglow with happiness, and there was not a trace of nervousness as she faced her friends and family. The music began, and at a nod from Sam, Melissa Carter-O'Neill set off sedately down the aisle, scattering her flower petals in the bride's path.

Sam carefully shook out the short train at the back of the bridal gown, and said "Ready?"

The bride smiled radiantly and nodded, looking down the aisle to where Janet Frasier was smiling back, and dabbing away a tear, and to where her groom waited

Jack drew himself to attention, saluted smartly, and then gravely offered his arm to Cassie Frasier, as followed by her matron of honour, Samantha Carter-O'Neill, he escorted her to the altar, to give her in marriage to Jonas Quinn!