TITLE : His GameBoy and Her Notebook
AUTHOR: Blue Topaz
EMAIL: blue-topaz@lycos.com
RATING: PG.
CATEGORY: Humor
PAIRING: Sam/Jack
SPOILERS: none that I could think of
SUMMARY: Sam and Jack are forced to write a journal together. Day 3.
SERIES: 3rd story in 'His and Hers'
ARCHIVE: SJD and Carterfic.
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. No copyright infringement is intended. Please do not post or distribute this story without the author's permission. Copyright by Blue Topaz, 2003
NOTE: Thanks to Rosemary again for beta-reading this. And for those who let me know how the enjoy the series, you all made my day.
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URL of this story (for
better formatting):
www.geocities.com/bluetopazfic/hisandhers3.htm
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Wednesday, 9 July 2003
06.30 : Jack O'Neill
What are you doing?
06.32 : Sam Carter
Preparing to go to work, Sir.
Didn't I say something
about not confusing the journal with a phone yesterday?
06.32 : Jack O'Neill
That rings a bell. But
hey, why should I care?
06.32 : Sam Carter
Because it will reduce
my workload a bit. I have to edit the journal before I send it to the psychiatrist.
06.32 : Jack O'Neill
Speaking of which, how
many questions do we have left?
06.33 : Sam Carter
Three more, Sir. One
today, one on Thursday and the last one on Friday.
06.33 : Jack O'Neill
And what happens after
Friday?
06.33 : Sam Carter
I will edit it and have
it ready on Monday. They promised that we could have the results in a week’s
time.
06.34 : Jack O'Neill
I mean, what happens
to the journal after Friday?
06.34 : Sam Carter
I guess that's just it,
Sir. It's finished.
06.35 : Jack O'Neill
Oh. OK!
06.35 : Sam Carter
Are you disappointed,
Sir?
06.36 : Jack O'Neill
Talk to you later. I
have to get ready.
06.36 : Sam Carter
Alright.
***
13.00: The Psychiatrist
If you are stranded on
a desert island, and you could only have one item with you, what would
it be?
***
13.47 : Jack O'Neill
Only one? I bet I know
what yours is Carter.
13.48 : Sam Carter
Really? What is it, Sir?
13.48 : Jack O'Neill
Your laptop or your naquada
reactor. Has to be one of them.
13.48 : Sam Carter
Very good. I'm taking my notebook (laptop) with me. I could do a number of things with it, provided that I have enough supply of power to last a lifetime. I could always do new programming and do something interesting with it, so that I won't get bored easily.
What about you?
13.49 : Jack O'Neill
Can't you guess?
13.49 : Sam Carter
Your fishing rod?
13.49 : Jack O'Neill
Nope, I could always
make a makeshift rod once I'm on that island, I don't need a fancy one.
Try again. Not a bad guess though.
13.49 : Sam Carter
A boat to escape?
14.00 : Jack O'Neill
You know that if I chose
that, it would be considered cheating. Wrong again. Come on, last chance.
14.00 : Sam Carter
Third time lucky.
Your GameBoy?
14.00 : Jack O'Neill
How the Hell did you
guess that?
14.00 : Sam Carter
Well, it's either that, or your yo-yo.
You need something to
occupy your mind as well as your hands, and I presume the GameBoy is much
more entertaining than a yo-yo.
14.01 : Jack O'Neill
Okay. Good reason. And the GameBoy also stimulates your mind. Don't forget that point.
That, and hopefully there is no restriction on how many games I can bring with me.
Carter, this is too easy.
Don't you agree?
14.01 : Sam Carter
I guess so.
My notebook is my life
and your GameBoy is yours (so to speak). Not that we are that pathetic.
Well, maybe we are ... but let's not talk about it.
14.01 : Jack O'Neill
Carter, you're rambling. And we are not pathetic.
What do you say we make
it a little bit more interesting?
14.01 : Sam Carter
I'm up for it if you
are.
14.02 : Jack O'Neill
OK then. What do you
say if we change the question from 'what' to 'who'?
14.02 : Sam Carter
We choose one person
to spend time with in a remote island? Sure, why not? It sounds interesting.
But I think we should set a condition. No one from the SGC, it's just too
easy.
14.02 : Jack O'Neill
Deal. No family member
either.
14.02 : Sam Carter
How did you guess that?
Dad is definitely out of the question now, then.
14.03 : Jack O'Neill
Hah! I knew it.
14.03 : Sam Carter
In that case, no alien
too. That means Thor is not allowed.
14.03 : Jack O'Neill
Darn it.
So, we have to find a non-SGC, non-family member and non-alien person to bring to the island huh?
Piece of cake.
14.04 : Sam Carter
Yup, definitely piece of cake.
How long do you think
before we finally found someone that fit the criteria?
14.04 : Jack O'Neill
A month?
14.04 : Sam Carter
Don't you think that it's a bit too drastic, Sir.
Does this person still
have to be alive?
14.04 : Jack O'Neill
Who's on your mind?
14.05 : Sam Carter
Albert Einstein of course.
Exchanging ideas with
him will be so much fun. Imagine, conversing with one of the greatest physicist’s
the world had ever known.
14.05 : Jack O'Neill
I don't know why I bother
asking.
14.05 : Sam Carter
What about you? Surely
there's someone.
14.05 : Jack O'Neill
I guess I can take Mary
Steenburgen with me.
14.05 : Sam Carter
Who?
14.06 : Jack O'Neill
An actress.
14.07 : Sam Carter
Oh, is she pretty?
14.07 : Jack O'Neill
She has class.
14.08 : Sam Carter
I think we shouldn't
bring anyone famous either. It's still too easy.
14.08 : Jack O'Neill
Why?
14.08 : Sam Carter
Like I said, it's still
too easy.
14.08 : Jack O'Neill
No one famous. OK then.
No ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend either.
14.08 : Sam Carter
Agree. No childhood sweetheart
or old crushes too.
14.09 : Jack O'Neill
That leaves me with just
my gardener, my barber, my drill sergeant and my neighbour then. I don't
think I want them with me 24/7, to be honest with you.
14.09 : Sam Carter
I'm sure we'll think of someone.
Eventually.
14.09 : Jack O'Neill
Not if we keep adding
these ridiculous conditions.
14.09 : Sam Carter
Well, that's what makes
it interesting, isn't it?
14.09 : Jack O'Neill
I guess so.
14.10 : Sam Carter
Listen. I gotta go now.
I have some work to do. Just write the name down when you think of it,
OK?
14.10 : Jack O'Neill
You got it.
***
19.12 : Jack O'Neill
This is useless. I couldn't
think of anyone. There's always that take-away guy, but I don't really
like him. I prefer to be alone rather than spending my time with him. What
about you?
19.12 : Sam Carter
Same here. I can't concentrate on my work, thinking about this instead. This is absurd.
Just chose one person,
right? How hard could this be?
19.13 : Jack O'Neill
Can I choose Kinsey?
19.13 : Sam Carter
Sir? Did you check before you type? You typed Kinsey.
Are you running a fever,
Sir?
19.13 : Jack O'Neill
No, I mean it. I could
amuse myself by scaring the living daylights out of that son-of-a-b***h.
19.13 : Sam Carter
Yeah ...
Seeing your reason, I ‘m surprised myself to find that I am no longer having the desire to persuade you to see Dr. MacKenzie.
But please don't do it
again, I was choking on my coffee reading that. And if you must do something
like that again, a warning would be nice.
19.14 : Jack O'Neill
Come to think of it, it could get old really soon. So, I guess I'll just pass.
What about you? Anyone
you could think of?
19.14 : Sam Carter
Well, I was seriously
thinking about my masseur from the local health club. I could always
use his skill to relax. It didn't hurt much that he was quite cute.
19.14 : Jack O'Neill
Cute? You chose him because
he's cute?
19.14 : Sam Carter
No. You should really
try his massage. He's got talented fingers, I can tell you that.
19.14 : Jack O'Neill
You chose him because
his talent? And because he's cute?
19.15 : Sam Carter
I couldn't think of anyone else. My list is not actually long here. And I'm not going to choose him, just considering him. He's not a really someone that I could talk to.
This is too impossible.
What do you say we do something different?
19.15 : Jack O'Neill
What are you suggesting?
19.15 : Sam Carter
Don't know yet. Give
me some time to think about it.
19.15 : Jack O'Neill
By the way, do you know
what happened to those idiots?
19.15 : Sam Carter
Which idiots, Sir?
19.15 : Jack O'Neill
Those idiots who landed
us in this problem?
19.15 : Sam Carter
Oh, you mean Major Ewan and Captain Perry, Sir? The SG-9's CO and 2IC?
Well, Janet already cleared
them from the infirmary this morning. I heard that General Hammond reprimanded
them and made them go to one of those partnership courses, so that they
could overcome their differences.
19.16 : Jack O'Neill
Why didn't he just reassign
one of them to another team? It'll be easier. And it'll save the taxpayer
money too.
19.16 : Sam Carter
It's their punishment,
Sir. Besides, they will learn nothing if we just keep them away from one
another. Besides, SGC is a small community, what would happen if they accidentally
have a run-in in the corridor?
19.16 : Jack O'Neill
And all this because they were fighting over a girl. How childish is that? Like there's only one woman in the world.
Who is this woman anyway?
19.16 : Sam Carter
Well, two grown men fighting over a woman, you must admit that it sounds romantic, Sir.
The woman is a non-SGC
member, Sir. And from what I've heard, she is married to someone else now.
19.16 : Jack O'Neill
So why are they still
fighting over her?
19.16 : Sam Carter
I don't know. Maybe they
already hated each other for so long, they forget the reason why. It's
the male ego thing, I guess.
19.16 : Jack O'Neill
Hey, what if we put both
of them on that island. How long do you reckon before they try to kill
each other?
19.17 : Sam Carter
From the moment they
set foot on it.
19.17 : Jack O'Neill
That sure, huh?
19.17 : Sam Carter
Yes. I never really paid
attention to them until now, but you can feel the animosity every time
those two are around. Do you remember when I accompanied SG-9 to P7Y 566?
They didn't say much to each other, it was so strange. I thought it was
just my feelings; that I was being over sensitive. They need to sort this
out soon.
19.17 : Jack O'Neill
What if it was the two
of us who are on that island? How long will you put up with me?
19.17 : Sam Carter
As long as it takes, Sir.
You're not that annoying.
I could live with you. What about you, Sir? How long will you put up with
me?
19.17 : Jack O'Neill
You're OK, if there's
no technology for you to babble about. I can live with that.
19.17 : Sam Carter
Sir! I'm not that bad.
Am I?
19.18 : Jack O'Neill
Carter, you should see
the way your eyes dance when there's a new toy for you to play with. You
mouth will automatically fire big words that go straight over my head.
Face it; you are as bad as Daniel.
19.18 : Sam Carter
What do you want me to
say? Technology is my passion.
19.18 : Jack O'Neill
Don't get me wrong, Carter.
I like you just the way you are. You're not perfect, that's what makes
you human. I like it better that way. It makes you more 'reachable'.
19.19 : Sam Carter
Why would anyone think
that I'm unreachable?
19.19 : Jack O'Neill
Take a good look at your
mirror, your service record and your academic record.
19.19 : Sam Carter
It's not all that I am.
19.19 : Jack O'Neill
I know that. But the others don’t.
And you know what? You
shouldn't concern yourself about what the others think. It's their loss.
19.20 : Sam Carter
Thanks, Sir.
It funny, isn't it? One
moment we talk about my notebook and your GameBoy, the next you are cheering
me up.
19.20 : Jack O'Neill
It is. But life is funny.
Carter, all the typing
has made me hungry.
19.20 : Sam Carter
I'll see you in the mess
hall.
***
20.59 : Jack O'Neill
Carter, you said that
you could erase the journal entries, right? So, lets just say, that I wanted
to write something that I only wanted you to read, would you erase it before
you send this to the shrink?
21.01 : Sam Carter
Yes, Sir. You know that
you can trust me. If there's something that you didn't want anyone else
to know, just let me know.
21.01 : Jack O'Neill
Good.
Hammond is dead. I will
personally see to it.
21.01 : Sam Carter
Sir?
21.02 : Jack O'Neill
Major Ewan came to my office right after dinner. He asked me for some advice regarding the whole CO-2IC relationship thingy. He said that Hammond had recommended him to talk to me. And he's also arranged a session with the four of us. Me, you, Ewan and Perry.
He's joking, right? Me,
giving advice on relationships? It's like asking an elephant for advice
on how to fly.
21.02 : Sam Carter
Oh Boy.
I take it the part that
you want to erase is 'Hammond is dead. I will personally see to it'.
21.02 : Jack O'Neill
You got that right. What's wrong with him lately? Did he bang his head on the wall? Because there's definitely a screw loose there.
Or maybe he had an order
from 'up there' to frustrate me. Why does everybody hate me so much?
21.03 : Sam Carter
Look at this way, Sir. We've been together for almost seven years. We've held the record for being the longest CO and 2IC partnership in the SGC. You have to admit, Colonel, it has to mean something. Besides, this proves that the General trusts us. So don't take your frustrations out on the General; he doesn't deserve it.
And for the record, I
don't hate you, Sir.
21.03 : Jack O'Neill
I know that. Even a green rookie could know that. Your IQ combines with my muscle, nothing can compare to that. But it's not something that can be taught. And anyway, aren't they going to send them to the partnership course?
Hammond knows how uncomfortable I am with all of this. But he still does it. Damn him. Just because he has stars on his shoulders, it doesn't mean that he can do anything that he likes.
And thanks for not hating
me, Carter.
21.03 : Sam Carter
Actually, Sir, he could. Last time I checked, stars are still the sign of a higher rank compared to a bird.
You're welcome.
21.03 : Jack O'Neill
Carter.
I don't know who taught you all this sarcasm, or how long have you been learning. I don't care. But please. This is neither the time nor the place. I'm irked. And there's nothing that irks me more than you throwing all that cynicism into my face.
And you won't like me
when I'm super irked.
21.04 : Sam Carter
Sorry, Sir.
21.04 : Jack O'Neill
You didn't sound like
you meant it.
21.04 : Sam Carter
I didn't.
Because I didn't say
it, therefore you didn't hear it. So, I didn't sound like I am sorry.
21.04 : Jack O'Neill
That's it. I'm not talking to you anymore.
See you tomorrow morning.
My office, 09.00 sharp, that's our session with Ewan and Perry.
21.02 : Sam Carter
Sir, I might not sound like I meant it.
But I typed it like I
meant it. Honest.
***
21.34 : Sam Carter
Sir? Are you there?
***
21.50 : Sam Carter
Colonel O'Neill?
***
22.39 : Sam Carter
Colonel? This silent
treatment better end now, or I might find a reason to cancel our 'date'
on Friday.
***
23.07 : Sam Carter
Sir? Please respond.
I'm getting worried now. And you're not answering your cell phone either.
I know that you already left the SGC (I called the check-point). Listen,
you don't have to write anything, just let me know that you're OK.
***
23.41 : Jack O'Neill
Date? It's two friends dining together, for crying out loud. And Carter, shame on you. You should know that threatening me would get you nowhere.
I'm not ignoring you
(well, I was at first). I went for a drink with some of the guys. I left
the Palm in the car, that's why I haven't been able to contact you. My
cell phone battery is low, I had to turn it off. Why didn't you page
me instead?
23.41 : Sam Carter
Sir, thank God you're OK. I'm really sorry about earlier, but I hardly ever have the chance to annoy you.
And I completely forgot
about the pager. I was that worried (and really, really, really sorry).
23.42 : Jack O'Neill
If you were any other
guy, I wouldn’t even consider speaking to you again. You are so lucky that
I actually like you.
23.42 : Sam Carter
Thank you, Sir.
23.42 : Jack O'Neill
Where are you now?
23.42 : Sam Carter
Still in the SGC. I think
I'll sleep in my quarters tonight. It's too late to go home.
23.43 : Jack O'Neill
Good.
Hey, dinner on Friday
is still on, right?
23.43 : Sam Carter
Wouldn't miss it for
the world.
23.43 : Jack O'Neill
Excellent.
See you tomorrow then.
23.43 : Sam Carter
Goodnight, Sir.
***
The next in the series will be 'His Office and Her Lab'. Jack is starting to love this journal ;o). Feedback, encouragement and review are appreciated.