"Broken" By Diana Lynn

TITLE: Broken

AUTHOR: Diana Lynn

RATING: NC-17

WARNINGS: Explicit Sex, Language, Sexual Situations.

CATEGORY: Sam/Jack; Hint of Jack/Other; Angst.

SPOILERS: Teeny tiny one for Fragile Balance. If you've never seen it, you'll never know it's there. Oh and Daniel's back and Jonas is gone *weep*.

SEASON: Takes place in season seven.

SUMMARY: The inevitable finally happens. She had to break sometime.

ARCHIVE: SJA, Yes. SJ-NC17, Yes. Also to be archived at my site. (Once it's up and running) http://www.geocities.com/dianalynn2002 All others please ask.

DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. We have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the authors. Not to be archived without permission of the author.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is my first try at NC-17. It has not been beta'd so all mistakes you see are mine. Use of / indicates flashback.

FEEDBACK: Any and all feedback would be greatly appreciated. Please! *g*

STATUS: Complete

DATE: September 12th, 2003

******************************************************

This isn't how it's supposed to happen, she knows that. Right now she doesn't care.

He wasn't supposed to be there.

/"Going home Sir?"

"Argh, I wish. Seems I've got a back log of reports due, and Hammond wants them *all* before I leave. Even has a guard posted at my car to make sure of it."

"I see. Sorry Sir."

"S'okay. Wait, are *you* going home?"

"Yes Sir. There's something I want to do and I think tonight's the night to do it."

"*Really*? And this something involves going off base. I'm happy for you. You deserve a life outside of this mountain."

"Your right Sir. I think it is about time *someone* got what they deserve."/

She wasn't expecting it when it happened. You never are. She was busy going over her notes for the upcoming mission to PRT-876. Daniel was trying to convince the Colonel that their last mission was in fact *not* a 'Galactic waste of time.' as Jack had so eloquently put it, but a very important archeological find. Teal'c of course, was silent as ever enjoying his rather *large* breakfast. Daniel, obviously realizing that his attempt make the Colonel see that his 'rocks' were more than rocks had failed, tried to move on to new subject.

That is when she broke.

/"Aright Jack, if you don't want to talk about *rocks*, then what do you want to talk about. Karrie?"

Jack face flushed and the notes Sam was reading were now stained with coffee.

Daniel, having not realized what he said, asked, "What? What did I say?"

But Teal'c, being the ever observant one, replied, "It appears that Colonel O'Neill has not yet informed MajorCarter of his relationship with this woman."/

The words repeat in her head. This woman. This woman who can be for him what she can't be.

There.

It's as simple as that. Regulations, personal and military, keep her bound. And until now, she has believed in them. Used them as a mantra to keep her sane.

Until now.

Regulations can't put you back together when your broken.

***** *****

The drive to his house was quiet. She turned off the radio. Can't stand the noise. There is already too much noise in her head.

Her plan merely consisted of going to his house -- *their* house now she reminds herself, and having a nice adult conversation with this *Karrie* woman. Explaining exactly *what* she got herself in to with Jack O'Neill. She's pretty sure Karrie hadn't planned on a slightly unbalanced Air Force Major challenging her claim to him. She's also pretty sure that she'll win.

Pulling her car to a stop about a block from his house. Still have to keep up appearances. She checked her face in the mirror and reapplied her gloss. She wore her dress blues. Want's to make a good impression. Intimidation. Whatever.

Walking to the house her pace is slow, calm. The calmness holds her together now. It keeps her from falling. As she approaches his walkway she sees *her* in the window. Hair is blonde, short. Like hers. Calmness brakes and any sense of a plan crumbles to the ground.

***** *****

This isn't how it's supposed to happen, she knows that. Right now she doesn't care.

She knows she shouldn't have ran up the stairs. Opened the door. And told that women if she knew what was good for her she'd get the hell out.

She did.

Karrie left. Could have been the pistol in her face.

She still doesn't care.

She makes her way to the bedroom. Has only been there once but she knows it by heart. Leaves the light off. Doesn't need it, she lives in darkness now.

Making her way to the chest she *knows* rests at the end of the bed she sits down. Slowly, methodically, she begins to remove her clothing. Once done she folds them neatly and places them on the chest next to what looks like his shirt.

Grabbing it, she spreads herself face down on his bed. *Their* bed. It should have been hers. Could have been hers, if she asked. She never did. No time for regrets now. That's all she has.

She doesn't hear the front door open as she clutches his shirt to her nose. Inhaling the scent. Smells like him, strong and warm. And bitter.

Always bitter.

Doesn't hear the foot steps on the stairs as she slips her hand between her legs and the mattress, pressing hard. Fast. Hoping for just one *damn* second of relief. Sliding her fingers through the tangle of curls she plunges into herself. Two fingers, god she is so wet. So moist, and tight. And *so* ready. Ready for him.

Always has been.

She hears him now as he opens the door. Feet coming to a halt in the doorway as his mind tries to process the fact that Carter, *his* Carter, is lying naked on *his* bed. Touching herself.

She should be surprised. Ashamed. She's not. She always knew it would end like this.

Flipping herself onto her back she pretends to ignore him. Acting as if she is oblivious to his presence she drops his shirt on the floor. Her now free hand reaching up to massage her swollen nipple. Pinching, praying for teeth. Tongue. Praying for him.

She never was religious.

She needs this to happen. Needs him to see her brake. After all he is the one who broke her.

Probing faster, her rhythm is frantic, fingers sliding off their target. She's *too* wet. God what's wrong with her? A grown woman should be ashamed to be this wet for any man. But he's not just any man. He's her C. O. Her Colonel.

Jack.

He's watching her, eyes glued in deep concentration. He hasn't said anything. She doesn't expect it.

They're past words anyway.

She arches her back as the first threads of orgasm build in her core. And suddenly the fingers in her are not her own, and teeth are nipping at the heated flesh of her breast. His mouth begins leaving a fiery trail down her abdomen while his fingers are bringing her to the cusp of orgasm. But it's not enough.

Never enough.

She somehow manages to maneuver him onto his back. He mutters. A curse. A prayer. She's not sure which and less sure she cares. All she knows is that he is hard and warm and pressing *oh* so close to her. When did he take his clothes off anyway?

She plants one hand firmly on his chest while she grasps him with the other guiding him into her tender opening. The first moments of penetration are incredible.

Absolutely.

Fucking.

Incredible.

She knows that if there is a heaven, this is it. Right here with his cock buried deep within her.

She wishes she were religious.

Slowly, she rocks her hips. The subtle movements causing a fission of electricity to course through her. She thinks it feels like falling. Falling from on high and she likes it. She doesn't stop to realize that when you fall you have to hit bottom sometime.

You can't hit bottom if you're already there.

His hands come up to tease the delicate skin of her breasts as she straddles him. Fingers grazing the tightened peaks. The feelings are amazing but it's still not enough.

Never will be.

She stills her movements above him as she finds his gaze for the first time. His hands drop from her breast, eyes asking a silent question. //What's wrong?//

She speaks for the first time, "Fuck me Jack."

The use of his name causes his cock to twitch. His lips curve towards a smile while his eyebrows do a silent impression of Teal'c. //I thought that's what we were doing?//

He doesn't need to say it for her to know, she knows already.

Always knows.

She makes a noise between a snort and a grunt as she rolls onto her back taking him with her. Raising her legs, he gets the hint and helps her put them onto his shoulders. The new position sending him deeper into her folds.

His body is still above her. She can't understand why he's not just pounding her already. Opening her eyes, she's not quite sure when they closed, she finds him once again. He's looking at her with an expression of absolute lust and desire. His need is dripping from his sweat soaked skin. Pure animal want is clouding his obsidian eyes.

His eyes look guilty.

"God," She groans, "fuck me. Now!"

And with that he begins thrusting. Long, deep strokes. He's riding her hard. Fast, it hurts. She can feel the burning in her thighs, the strain on her back. She needs the pain. Makes it real.

Nothing's real.

His movements start to become frantic, uncontrolled. Hips jerking trying to keep the rhythm. He's close, she's closer. Her hand moves to where they are joined and she is surprised to find his hand there too.

He presses one rough digit on her sensitive bundle and that's it. White light engulfs her as her body shudders, muscles convulsing. Her ears are buzzing, skin tingling. As she slowly comes back into awareness she can feel him coming too.

Long moments later, when their breathing slows, he helps her slide her legs down and slips from her warm body. Laying on his back he pulls her to him and she spoons against him willingly. Allowing herself this final comfort before reality seeps into her broken and tattered world.

Knowing she needs to get dressed she moves herself into a sitting position and throws her legs off the side of the bed. Making a move to stop her, he places his hand on her upper arm, stilling her movements.

Her voice is calm and cold when she says, "This isn't what I came for." And it isn't. Really.

He lets go of his grip on her arm as he slides himself up to recline on the headboard.

"Didn't look that way to me." He saw the way she looked. Skin flushed, eyes glassy with passion. Saw the look on her face when she came.

"Eyes can be deceiving." The tone of her voice doesn't reveal the fear she feels. Fear because she liked it, wanted it. And knows it can't happen again.

He reaches around and cups one breast in his hand. "Didn't feel that way either."

His frustration is evident and she can't blame him. It did feel real. But she can't tell him that. Can't let him see she's broken and he is the only one able to fix her. He can't have that much power over her.

No one can.

Removing his hand she stands to face him. Unaware of the effect her naked body has on him. She's broken. She doesn't care. "So can your heart."

As she grabs her clothes and makes her way to the bathroom she hears it. The sound she's been waiting for.

Now he's broken too.

~End~