Title: Quid pro quo

Author: Telkena telkena@yahoo.com

Rating: NC-17;

Pairings: Sam and Jack

Summary: Sam finds herself a virgin again and only trusts Jack to help her through.

Spoilers: Season 8, Broca Divide

Archive: SJD yes. SJNC-17, and anyone who wants it.

Disclaimer: don't own 'em

Author's Notes: Going through exams, so I'm in need of S&J NC-17. Lost and lots of it. So if any of you guys have stories written… I need them…

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"Open the iris!" Jack shouted as he immediately ran to the stairs that would take him to the gateroom.

SG1 staggered through the event horizon carrying a weak and obviously injured Carter. "What the hell happened?" Jack said as he walked on the ramp to take Sam's body from Teal'c and help her walk the rest of the way towards the medical team.

"Ambush…" She said weakly. "Took us by surprise." She smiled at him, trying to ease his obvious concern. He was looking pale and there was a hint of fear in his eyes as he was looking at her. Her clothes were covered in blood and dirt. There were cuts on her uniform and her blond hair was a mess. It was tangled with sweat and blood and sand and she looked like she was about to collapse right there on the gateroom floor. His hand moved around her waist to support her. And without even him noticing, he hugged her to the side of his body, reluctant to ever let her go.

The med. team took over and had her lie on a stretch before she fell. To Jack's despair she passed out as soon as she put her head down.

They debriefed without her. Daniel and Teal'c managed to explain to Jack the events of the past week. They had met the natives of a planet, they were friendly, but not too technologically advanced. They were however at war with another faction of their population. The fight was being held over some ancient rights to serve in what they called The Great Temple, a construction that according to them had been built by the Gods. All in all, the war had been going on forever and it didn't look like there was an end in sight. After a weak of getting to know the people of both sides, despite their best efforts, SG1 had been caught in the middle of the fight. They weren't supposed to fight against any of them, for any of them. In the attempt to stay as much out of the battle as possible and find a way back to the Gate, Sam took a full blow to the chest. She was dying. Her luck had been that one of the natives they had encountered had taken then to the Great Temple and used one of the ancient devices to heal her. And save her life.

What exactly that device was they didn't know. It looked like a sarcophagus, but the design and apparently method of operation was different. When Sam had gotten out, they had just picked her up and gated back to Earth as fast as they could.

"So… what?" Jack asked. "She's fine now, right?" Daniel and Teal'c just looked at each other. They had to wait for the doctor's report to be sure.

Dr. Brightman pulled the curtain that separated Sam's bed from the rest of the infirmary, so they could have some privacy. She took a seat and set the medical chart down. "Col. Carter, I need to ask you a private question." Sam nodded. "Are you sexually active?" Sam froze. What exactly did that have to do with anything?

"Yes. I am. I've been having a steady partner for the last 6 moths. Why is that important?"

"Because Col. whatever that thing did to you when it healed you… it did a lot more than that. It somehow regenerated your body in great detail. I'm sure you noticed some of your scars are gone."

Sam nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I've been wondering about that actually… Kind of odd, though."

"And you're in perfect health." The doctor continued. "Absolutely perfect health. But that's not all. Well…" Dr. Brightman took a deep breath. "Colonel, you are a virgin again." Sam did a double take. What did she just say?

"What? But…That's not possible."

"I'm afraid it is. Trust me, I double checked. It's real."

"But how?" Sam asked. "The machine? It did this?"

"Best as I can tell, yes. As I said the method of operation is completely different from that of a sarcophagus. Look, otherwise you're in perfect health, just… it's just that you have to be careful next time you have intercourse. Talk with your partner so you both know what to expect." Sam nodded in shock. "It's not a too big a deal, but you had to know this so you'll know how to approach it. It'll take some getting used to that thought. But since you say you have a stable partner, this really shouldn't be much of a problem." Sam looked totally blank. "Colonel? Is this a problem?" Sam refocused her eyes on the doctor.

"No, no problem at all. Thanks doc. I'm just tired. I need to sleep a while."

Dr. Brightman collected her charts and walked away leaving the curtain drawn to give her privacy. But sleep was the last thing on Sam's mind. She was in utter shock about this new aspect of her body. The only thing she could think of was of how things had been when she had lost her virginity the first time. It had been a completely painful and horrible experience. She had been in love with that man, she had wanted it, she was mentally prepared, willing, excited… and still it had turned to hell. Her body had been unresponsive, it had been painful and as hard as he had tried, it pushed him to his limits for too long and he had lost his control and in one mindless second he had taken her completely and finished it.

She loved Pete now. But she was sure, somehow she knew, that things were going to be exactly as they had been then. And she hated it. She even feared it. She couldn't do this with him. Even if they would sit down and talk… she couldn't. She knew it wouldn't work. Everything about her and about them told her that. She knew how her body responded to him now and knew that it wouldn't work. She had to find another way to fix this. To get through this.

It was 2100 hours when Jack entered the infirmary, looking for the doctor. "Hey doc. How is she?" Dr looked up from her chart and sighed.

"Well, she's fine. Actually I couldn't find anything wrong with her. She's tired… or more like it exhausted, but otherwise she's fine. I'm releasing her tomorrow. Think you can have someone drive her home?"

"I'll do it myself. Don't worry. I'll let her rest. I'll be back tomorrow to pick her up. I'll spend the night on base if she needs anything. Ok?" Dr. Brightman smiled and nodded.

After Sam had been released from the infirmary, Jack had given SG1 2 weeks down time. They needed it. It wasn't just so that Sam could have sometime to rest but because they all could use some time off.

It was evening when Jack dropped Sam off to her house, after she had been released from base. "Thanks for the ride, sir." She said as she prepared to close the door behind him. But he stopped her.

"You sure you're alright? You're a bit… well, I don't know, off." She smiled at him and he nodded. "Yeah, ok. But if you need anything, anything at all, just call, ok?" He had that 'I'm leaving because you tell me to, but I hate this idea" look. Or better yet 'I'll do anything just to spend more time with you' look.

"Thanks, sir. I will." She knew exactly what he was thinking. "And really, I'm fine, I just need some time for myself, put some thoughts and things in order. You know how it is when you're back home the first night after being in the infirmary."

Jack gave her an understanding look and walked away. She waited until she saw his truck drive away, to close the door. Then she took her time showering and getting read for bed. She knew what she could do to take care of her little problem herself. And she knew it was a bad idea. But it was a place to start. If she could just take care of it herself, she wouldn't have to worry about Pete, or about anything else. Everything would go back to normal.

She got in bed completely naked and pulled out her vibrator. *Well,* She thought *I haven't used you in a long time.* She hadn't had use for it since she was with Pete. But this wasn't something she could do with Pete. Not this time.

Sam was aware that this, no matter how it would go, was, sadly, a test of what their relationship meant, and where she stood with him. And the simple fact that she was afraid to trust him with the most intimate part of herself, was not a good sign. She was supposed to love him. Want him. And yet all she could think of now was how exactly to keep him as far way from her as possible. So what was their relationship really about? She shook her head. She'll figure all this later.

She lay down and started touching herself. She brushed her fingers across her neck slowly, moving lower to brush against her breastbone and fondle her breasts. She caressed them and pinched a nipple, while her other hand caressed her belly. Her fingers moved slow, feeling the way her muscles quivered beneath her first touches, circling her belly button. She moved to touch her clit and began rubbing it with constant, fast strokes. She worked to get herself aroused fast and in a short time her hips were thrusting off the mattress. She was wet and aching. Moving her hand to the vibrator she took hold of the toy and placed the tip at her opening. She pushed her hips forward and the tip slipped in. It hurt.

With a moan, Sam pulled the toy away. She brushed her fingers through her folds. She was wet, she was aroused, so she tried again. Her free hand moved to touch her clit, as she started pushing the toy in. It still hurt. Too much. She opened her eyes and kept them fixed on the ceiling. She relaxed her mind and tried to bring up a fantasy she liked. Something to relax her and arouse her. Her mind drifted to Jack, on its own. It was instinctive, it was natural. And her mind made believe it was someone else thrusting into her. O'Neill. Jack.

But guilt over ran her. Not him. She wasn't supposed to think about him. He was off limits, he wasn't hers. She wanted him so much, but she had made her choice, because for what she knew, he had as well. He hadn't made a move in her direction in a very long time. He had done nothing. She struggled against her desires but lost. She had to do this. Just for this one time more to get through this and it'll all be over. She wouldn't fantasize about him again. Just this one more time. Her eyes drifted shut and she imagined.

His heavy, lean body on top of her, his hot breath on her skin, his dick between her legs. Thinking how everything about his body must feel, trying to imagine it as realistic as possible, based on what she saw and felt on different occasions. The feel of his skin, the heat of his body. How it fit perfectly against her when they ended up cuddling on different occasions, to stay warm, sleep, survive. The way his lips felt when she had jumped him in the locker room, so long ago. Warm and strong. The feel of his wet tongue as she managed to slip hers just a little between his lips and along the tip, before he pushed her away. He tasted so good. His skin was so damp and slick under her hands.

Sam felt her body ache in need for him, her hips pushing towards his invisible body. She kept her eyes open and pushed the toy in again. It slipped just a little deeper, but only just. It still hurt. She groaned in frustration and decided to change the position. As the hours passed she tried every trick she could think of. Nothing worked. The rubber pulled at her flesh too much, she was too tight, she was too stressed. It just wouldn't work. There was no substitute for a warm hard body. Jack O'Neill's.

Sam sat up on the bed banishing the thought. She would not want him. Because he didn't. She could almost feel him around her. He would know how to do this. All the raw energy and primal power that lingered in him, that she rarely saw unleashed, aimed at her and her body. She doubted she would even care if it'd hurt, just as long as she felt it all. "No…" She said… "Not him."

She looked at the vibrator. This plastic toy she had used as a poor imitation of his body, was not going to work this time. Not this time. Frustration ran through her. How could he make her want him so damn much? She sighed and put the vibrator away. She didn't sleep at all that night. Thoughts of Pete and what she could tell him kept running through her head. She could just break up with him. Might as well. Her trust in him obviously only went as far and therefore so did her love. She couldn't be with someone she didn't trust completely. Could she? She she'd break up with him and probably spent the next 8 years of her life alone. At least she wouldn't have to worry about her current situation anymore. "Christ Sam, you're pathetic!" She said covering her eyes with her hands.

She needed Jack. But she refused to admit that. She would find another way. In the end she gave up trying to make sense of it all and went to sleep. "General O'Neill would never go along with it! Would you? Just do it for the sake of fucking me? Or are you gonna do the honorable thing? Damn you, like you always do!"

It was 0900 hours when she heard a knock at the door. She groaned and hoped they'd just go away. Whoever "they" was. She had just managed to fall asleep about 2 ours ago. But she had no such luck. "Carter, come on! Aren't you up yet?" Shit. She jumped out of bed the next second. Damn him and that authority he could put in his voice. She mumbled something even she didn't understand and pulled a robe on. "I'd let myself in y'know, but I'm not sure you're decent!" He already had her key in the lock and was all so tempted to turn it. Mostly because of that particular thought, but his logic got the better of him.

She flung the door open. "Sir, we're on down time, do you really have nothing better to do?"

"Jeez, Carter, you look like hell? Slept any last night?"

"I was. But then someone wok me up." She knew how awful she looked and he was the last person in the world she wanted to remind her of it. She also didn't feel like she could handle his presence right now. Not given her current situation and the thoughts and need that she dealt with last night. "Why aren't you at the SGC? You're the General now."

"Is that something like go away and let me sleep?" He asked with a raised eyebrow. She groaned. *If you caught on why are you still here?* She thought. "Well Carter, I can still take a day off, y'know. Look! I brought doughnuts and coffee. Peace?"

She moved from the door and let him in. She could use coffee and she has kept herself at bay for the past eight years. She could do a couple of hours. They moved to the living room and ate. She started feeling better five minutes after he walked in. But she just blamed it on the high levels of sugar and not the way he looked first thing in the morning, casually dressed in jeans and a white T-shirt under the black leather jacket. But who was she kidding. Her body had started humming as soon as she had opened the door. Her nipples tightened and she felt desire building within her.

He had lost the jacket when he reached her living room and was now just in his T-shirt. Which hugged his body all too well and made a delicious contrast with the tanned skin of his neck. Neck which now Sam was starring at. A lot. She wanted him. Badly. Her body was already responding and she could feel herself getting wet. She bit her lip against the desire to grab him and take him. She wouldn't ask him, couldn't tell him, get him to do this with her. Just one time. She needed him to fuck her, hard and fast. Right now. But she would not say a word. Refused to accept it. Him! It had to be him! She couldn't be this responsive to anyone else!

She went to the kitchen for more coffee. High levels of sugar and the presence of Jack O'Neill didn't go well together. Especially when he had on jeans that hugged his as all to sinfully and his hair sweetly mussed. "Carter, what's bothering you?" He finally asked when she returned to the couch by his side.

"Nothing you can help with." She said looking in her cup. "But thanks for asking."

"Carter…"

"Sir, seriously! I can handle it." He kept starring at her. "I'm not telling you, so stop it. You can't help and I don't wanna talk about it just to feel better. It'll just make me feel worse." She should tell him. She should tell him now. He was willing to help, she looked desperate and in so much need she doubted he would have said no. She wanted to tell him, but the words wouldn't come out. *God damn it, I want your dick inside me so badly!* She thought. But the fear of rejection shot through her like needles. He wouldn't do it.

He slowly tore his eyes of her. She was struggling with something. And he could help. He was sure of it, because he knew her. He grabbed the remote and turned the TV on. "You know I'd help with anything. Right? So whenever… " She didn't respond. He realized he had to drop it. She would tell him eventually. If she needed his help. Or these days she could just go to Pete. His jaw clenched. The need to have her tell him what was wrong grew. *Talk to me, talk to me, talk to me…* The words kept going through his head. She didn't say a word.

Five minutes later, after complete and utter silence from both of them he felt something on his shoulder. He turned and saw Sam was asleep and her head, actually her whole body, had fallen to the side and she was now resting against him. He froze. "Aww, Carter…Ok, now what?" He said to himself. He hated having to wake her up again and this was actually pleasant. And it's not like they hadn't slept like this before, off world. So he went back to watching TV. Until he felt her head fall of his shoulder and her body starting to lean over to lie on his lap. "Ah… not a good idea Carter…" He mumbled. If he could just slide off the couch before she leaned on him… too late. "Shit!"

Her body was now in an awkward position where her legs were over the side of the couch and her upper half was across his lap. He sighed. "Carter…" And with a subtle move he raised her legs on the couch so she could fully lie down. This was a bad idea and he knew it. But there was a part of him that enjoyed the intimacy of the moment. *Pretend she's yours.* She slept comfortably in his lap and he smiled a satisfied smile. Pretending was good. *Just focus on the TV* He thought. That was safe. But that didn't work. He was far too aware of her body over his and her head right next to his by now hard dick.

This was getting uncomfortable fast. Pretending might be good, but it was getting too good. Her hand was now on his inner thigh and her head moved to rub against his erection. His hand went in her hair and he moaned. "Carter… please…"

Her hair was soft under his fingers and he couldn't stop brushing it. She didn't wake up. He was hard and he was horny and he wanted her. But he couldn't have her. She wasn't his to have anymore. She was Pete's. His heart sunk at the thought and he moved his hands off her. She didn't want him and he wasn't going to give in to his need for her. She had made her choice.

There she was and there he was, her sleeping with her head in his lap like it was the most natural thing in the world and they both had to believe it was wrong. His hand moved to caress her arm and ended up brushing the outside of her breast. She moaned and his hand froze. *You're one sick bastard!* He thought. *Feeling her up when she's asleep! Christ O'Neill, get a fucking grip!* But his hand wouldn't listen as it slowly moved to partly cup the breast. Her back arched to push her breast in his hand. His hand flew away a second later, shocked at her responsiveness to him, shocked at his own actions.

He was going to move his hand to rearrange his painful erection to a more comfortable position, when she turned on the other side and now her face was right towards the bulge in his pants. He stilled. *Do not wake up now!!!* He pleaded with all the powers that be and bit his lip almost to draw blood, to stop his low groan, as her face brushed his dick when she tried to find a more comfortable position. His hips bucked and he realized he had to get away. Before she woke up to find herself with her head in his lap and him with a major hard-on, or before he lost it and fucked her right there.

She sighed and her lips parted. And Jack felt he was going to blow right there. His hips had already started all so slowly thrusting towards her mouth. He moved his left hand and brushed two fingers across her lips. Her mouth parted more and without his intention the fingers slipped deeper in her mouth and felt the tip of her tongue push against them to lick the skin. And that was all it took to nearly shatter all his self-control. He had to leave, get out, get away. Now! Jack carefully slid from under her head and walked out.

When Sam woke up, all she found of him was a note that said "Had to take care of something. I'll be back later on, or tomorrow." She sighed. She wished he would have stayed, but knew that if he had, he would have broken down her resolve and she would have told him everything. Alone was safer. Just her and her home, and her plants… and his cup of coffee, on her coffee table, where he had left it. She groaned trying to ignore it. She was getting desperate. She lied down on the sofa and hid her face in the pillows. Not two seconds later she peaked from under them eyeing his cup.

Her hand reached for it and brushed the side. She picked it up and held it between her hands just as he had. She could feel his hands on it. She needed him. Without conscious thought she moved the cup to her lips and brushed them against the edge, where he had drank from. She could taste him. The taste of his lips, his mouth. She could feel them, the taste, the heat.

She jerked away from it. "What the hell are you doing!" She said to herself. Since when had she started longing so deeply for him? When had she stopped thinking of him as her CO? She got up and threw the paper cup away. She was stronger than that.

In the following day she kept trying to get some use out of the vibrator, to finish what she had in mind, and each time she failed. The pain was too great and in spite of all her wishing it weren't true, the need for him was too great.

But also the next day Jack had apparently made a habit from spending as much time at Sam's place as possible. With no reason what so ever. He just showed up at her door with pizza and a movie and they'd just end up spending the day together. She was frustrated at first. She had to fight the temptation to give in to him and she knew she would loose eventually. She was trying to ignore the fact that if anyone could be with her through this time, it was him. She refused to accept that deep down inside, she didn't trust anyone else. But his presence and her responsiveness to him, forced reality on her. If she was ever to fix her problem, her body made it clear it would only that which she had labeled unreachable.

It was already 10 PM when Jack grabbed his coat and got up off the sofa. "Carter?" She was somewhere around the house. "Carter, I'm off. Got to be at the SGC tomorrow at 8 AM. You ok here?"

She came out of her room. "Sir, it'll take you one our to get home." He just looked at her. "Well… I don't know… it just seems pointless for you to drive all the way to your place just so you can sleep for 5 hours and then leave again." He kept looking at her. "I mean if you want… I have a spare bedroom. And my place is closer to the base." He kept looking and she sighed in desperation. He was not this dense. "You can spend the night here…"

"Ah, that!" He was grinning and she hated him. "Well why didn't you just say so?" He tossed his coat back on the sofa. "Thanks for the offer. I could use the extra hours of sleep." She pointed him to the spare room and he went to get ready for bed. "Thanks Carter! Really." She smiled at him. He was so dooming her. And she was so welcoming it.

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Sam was washing the dishes in the kitchen when Jack came in to get a beer from the fridge. He bent to grab the bottle and her eyes moved to him only to end up starring at how his jeans molded to his ass. He had looked like a walking sin throughout the night, but now she was just standing there, starring at his ass and drooling. He got up and she suddenly looked away blushing. He had caught on to what she was doing, but just smiled a wicked smile at her and walked away. It wasn't like he hadn't been caught starring at her more times than he would ever admit. Even to himself.

She put the dishes away and she sighed. She was already wet between her legs and this time she was forced to admit what she had tried not to even think about, ever since she offered him to crash at her place for the night. She could do this with him. She knew it would never work with Pete. Not unless she was willing to go through excruciating pain. Again. And she had finally given up on her vibrator. But Jack was perfect. She trusted him with her life. She loved him beyond words. She knew he had monumental self-control in any given situation. She also knew that he was the only one her body responded to without a doubt. He would never hurt her, he knew her. He knew how to do this without harming her. The problem was, would he? Would he just agree to fuck her one time and then go back to the way they were before? Fix this little problem for her and then pretend like nothing ever happened? Could she? She thought she could. This was just asking him for a favor. Her only concern was how would she ask him to do this and how would he react to it. How would he look at her afterwards.

She put the towel down and walked back in the living room. Jack was stretched on her couch, the bottle of beer in his hand, barely touched and watching something on TV he clearly didn't find interesting. "Don't you have to get up early?" She just couldn't help herself. She had to say it and his expression was priceless. He eyed her and his eyes narrowed.

"Past my bed time, Carter?" He asked trying to sound reprimanding but failing miserably. He just shook his head at her smiling and returned to the uninteresting TV program.

She walked around so she could stand somewhere where he could see her but without being in his direct line on vision. She had to talk with him. Or just come out and say it. *Let him set the pace* Sam thought.

"Sir." She began. "Could I talk to you about something?"

"Shoot." He said not taking his eyes of the TV screen. "What's up Carter?"

"There's something I want to ask you to do for me… I need you to help me with something." At this he tore his eyes of the TV and looked at her. She was fumbling with her words and that wasn't typical of her. "Something happened on the planed, when that thing healed me, something that… creates a lot of problems for me. And I don't trust anyone else… I need someone I trust and who knows me… and well you've known me for 8 years, so… this is really weird, and embarrassing…."

He got up into a sitting position on the couch. Whatever it was she was struggling with was big. Very big. She was flushed and couldn't even look him in the eye. "Carter… look, whatever it is, you've been struggling with it for days. How about you stop beating around the bush and just say, it will you. We'll take it from there." He took another sip of his beer.

"I'm a virgin again." He spit the beer he was about to swallow all over her coffee table, choking on some of it, spilling some of it on his shirt and pants. He was coughing like mad, trying to get air in his lungs, half from the beer, half from the shock she just put him in. Sam just stood where she was and waited for him to recover. In the end he calmed down, put the bottle away and looked at her.

"You're what?" Were his only words. Sam started to explain to him what dr. Brightman told her about the healing device and that it was all possible and double checked and all. For his part he just stood there in shock. "So… Carter… what do you expect me to help you with?" And then it dawned on him. Which nearly put him into a heart attack. He got up from the couch waving his hands in front of him. "No. Oh, no way! Carter, you're not actually… Christ, tell me you're not thinking about that!" He was trying to get as much distance between her and him as possible. Mostly because he was unbelievably turned on by what she just admitted and because she had actually wanted him to have sex with her. But she wouldn't let this go. Sam grabbed his arm and spun him around to look at her. She explained why she needed him for this, why of all the people she had turned to him. But he kept trying to get away from her, he tried to get her to stop talking.

"You have a boyfriend Carter. Ask him."

"I just told you it wouldn't work. Look, this isn't easy for me either. But I am not going through that horrific experience again."

He was starting to loose his patience and his self-control. He was hard and just one step away from ripping her clothes off. "So what the hell do you want from me Carter?"

"Fix this. This wasn't supposed to happen. This isn't the way things should be." She was begging him by now. "Just this one time… There's no one else…"

"Just this one time?" He asked amazed. He ran his hands through his hair to try and calm down but with no success. "What the hell do you think this would be? Just a favor? One friend to another? What? You expect me to fuck you and then go back to work like nothing ever happened? Christ Carter! Or what? What? Or just shove my dick up inside you to break you and then thank you and good bye?"

She had tears in her eyes, but he didn't see. He was outraged by the fact that she would just think he could just have sex with her and then walk away in spite of everything she knew he felt for her. And even more angry and mad that she wanted to use him like this, then throw him away and go back to Pete. Because she had made it clear that this was what she had in mind. "Christ Colonel, have you completely lost it? This isn't just a favor, this is complete insanity!"

She bit her lip and stood at attention. "You're right General. It is. I'm sorry I ever brought it up. It was completely out of line." With those words she walked away. He didn't say anything, just stood there and watched her walk towards her bedroom and slam the door shut. He squeezed his eyes shut and grabbed his head in his hands. This was so not happening! She did not just ask him to do what she just asked him to do. She had a boyfriend for crying out loud. Let him deal with it. Jack furiously grabbed a paper towel and moved to the living room to clean up his spilled bear.

He dried the table and anything else he might have spilled on. But he was completely absent to the task at hand. Her words kept going through his head, how hard it must have been for her to ask him this. He kept repeating to himself that she had a boyfriend, he wasn't willing to let her use him like this, just so he could make things easier for her and Pete. But then he just stood up straight and remembered how terrified she sounded at the thought of having to do this with Pete, how honest she had been about how hard and painful it had been the first time.

To hell with all of this, him and his feelings, he'd be damned if he was going to just push her into Pete's arms and into something she feared. Damn him to hell, if he was going to let that ass hole hurt her.

Jack threw the paper towel down and walked towards her bedroom. He didn't even bother to knock on the door before he opened it. Sam stood cross-legged on the bed starring at her vibrator on the bed in front of her. She didn't bother to look at him when he just stood there. "I can't do this with him." She said. She had been crying, but now there were no more tears left. She had completely opened herself up to him, in the most intimate of ways and he had crushed her.

"This will hurt even more." He said nodding towards the rubber toy.

"So you do it." She said pushing the vibrator towards him. He stared at her. Then just as suddenly he took off his sweater and started moving towards the bed.

"Take your pants off." He said and her eyes snapped at him. He was serious. She did as he asked, leaving the tiny tank top on as he stripped until he was only in his boxers and a white T-shirt. He pulled the covers of her bed back and got in with her. "Turn your back to me." They lay on their right side and he pulled her body tight against him. He just held her a little while, until he felt her body start to relax against his as she became used to the feel of him so close up against her. Jack's body was hard and warm against her back and she felt completely relaxed as she leaned into him to allow his hands to wonder across her body. His lips were wet and determined against the flesh of her neck and shoulders.

He ran his hands up and down her arms, caressing the skin, as his lips started kissing and nipping at the skin of her neck. Sam moaned and arched her neck to give him better access. She moaned softly as one of his hands sneaked under her top to cup a breast and kneed it. His fingers pinched the nipple and she arched her chest into his hand. "Yessss…" She hissed at the sensation that shot through her body. He moved the hand to the other breast and repeated the move and felt her body arch again. His fingers moved to her lips and pressed his index and middle finger against her lips.

"Lick them" He said in her ear and felt her whole body shudder as his breath brushed her skin. She was getting aroused and her senses were alert. His voice was deep and low and his breath hot against her skin. She moaned at the feeling and her tongue darted out to lick the tip of his fingers, just before her lips closed around them and sucked them deeper in her mouth swirling her tongue around, to wet them. He hissed at the hot and wet feeling, his mind making up images of how it would feel if that were his dick in her mouth. His other hand tightened on her breasts and she moaned letting his fingers slip out of her mouth. He moved the wet fingers to rub against her nipples, the wet and warm sensation contrasting with the cold, as the air cooled her wet skin. She was moaning and her body was becoming restless in his arms. "Do you like this?" He asked against her skin as his lips started placing open-mouthed kisses along her neck, his tongue pushing against the skin.

"Yes. God… this feels incredible… I need more…" He continued to lick and kiss at her neck as his left hand moved lower across her abdomen. He brushed her skin and felt it quiver against his touch. The feel of his palms on her skin was beyond reality. Jack O'Neill's hands were on her naked skin. He traced his fingers around her belly button and briefly pushing a finger inside before he moved lower. He paused a little before his fingers touched her clit and her hips bucked against his hand. "God, yes!" She moaned and thrust her hips forward to rub herself against his fingers. He held his hand still, letting her do what she wanted, rub herself as hard and fast against his fingers as she desired. Her hips moved fast against his hand, pushing herself hard against it, moaning and moving her hand to grip his thigh.

Then he pushed a little deeper in and realized just how wet and aroused she was. His fingers slipped easily through her folds and the moisture had already covered all of her and the top of her thighs. Jack moved his finger around and felt her whole body go rigid as he pushed deeper.

"Relax." He said. "I won't push my fingers inside you. I just want to feel you, fell how ready you are." She moaned in agreement, resting her head back against his chest and willed herself to relax again. "Do you want fingers?" He asked but she just shook her head.

"No fingers." She said. "Just something that would stretch me completely."

His fingers continued to brush against her. She was ready and in any normal circumstances he would have penetrated her by now. But these weren't normal. And he was not going to push his dick inside her. With one hand he pulled her body closer against his and removed his hand from between her legs to pick up her vibrator. He brushed the toy against the skin of her arm and the outside of her breast, down her thighs, as he moved it towards her folds. She tensed a little as she felt him just brush it against her. "I'm just going to rub you with it. I'm not pushing it in yet."

He stroked the toy through her folds, letting her feel it, get used to it, while her juices coated it. He kept moving it against her a while, until he felt her hips move against it, rubbing herself on it. He started rubbing her clit with its tip and her body arched in his arms, while her hands went to claw at the wooden headboard. Her ass was pressed against his groin and his rock hard erection. "Christ, Carter!" He said thrusting back against her ass and grinding himself against it. "Easy… Easy, Carter." He brought her body tight against his and grabbed hold of one breast with is free hand. His lips went to the skin of her neck just behind her ear. "Easy…"

He repositioned the vibrator so that the tip of it was pushing slowly at her opening. She moaned but remained relaxed so he licked at the skin behind her ear, as he pushed the toy in. "Tell me when to stop. Carter?" He turned her head so she looked at him and she nodded. He had barely got the head in when she hissed in pain and Jack felt her body go rigid. He removed the toy and began brushing her body with his other hand and lips to relax her and tried again. Instinctively she pushed her hips against the vibrator but just as the tip was in and he tried to go a bit deeper she moaned loudly. She grabbed hold of his hand to keep him from removing the toy and, giving in to her request, Jack tried to push in deeper, but a small cry escaped her lips and her hands went to his hips and dug her nails in. "Stop. Stop… please." He felt her relax immediately as he removed the toy. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry… it hurts."

"I told you it will. It's ok. We'll keep trying." He left the toy away and held her up against his body for a while. Then he slowly turned her face up. This wasn't going to work if he kept trying to keep it as strictly business. Time to get more personal. Jack started kissing her belly and dipping is tongue in the belly button. Her hips lifted off the bed and she grabbed hold of his head, threading her fingers through his silver hair. He pushed her tank-top up and closed his lips on a nipple and sucked. Hard. Sam's hands had started brushing against his back, grabbing at the white T-shirt he had on.

He had one of his thighs between her legs and she had started thrusting against it. "God, you're turned on." He said looking at her and lifting his thigh so it was pressed harder against her, so she could rub herself on it better. He could feel her wetness drip on his the skin of his thigh and he pressed it harder against her. Her movements had sped up and she picked up the vibrator again and gave it to him pleading him with her eyes to try again. He kept his leg in place and slowly slid the toy in between her and his leg. "Keep talking to me, Carter."

She kept up the movements of her hips and once the toy was thoroughly wet he slowly placed the tip against her opening. "This feels so good…" She breathed. "Oh yes!" Her movements pushed her against the tip and it slowly slipped in. She kept trying to move and take more of it but her hips and her body quivered in pain and she grabbed hold of his shoulders and dug her nails in. He tried to pull the vibrator away but she stopped him. "Just… just shove it in. Please. I can't take this anymore." Sam thrust her hips towards him but moaned in pain as the toy pushed against her. "Go… just finish this. Please, just get it over with. I'll heal!"

"I'm not going to hurt you Carter. We can do this without harming you." This time she moaned in frustration and again tried to thrust against the toy, but he held her hips still. "Will you just let me do this?" He held her still until she stopped trying to fight him and them he moved lower on the bed. He kept the vibrator as little in as it had entered her and took her clit between his lips. His head started spinning at the taste of her and he moaned against her flesh. He started sucking and licking at her and when he felt more of her juices coating the hand he had on the vibrator he grabbed the clit between his teeth and sucked harder. Her hips were trying to move against his face and he tried to push the vibrator in again. It had slipped just a little bit deeper when she actually screamed and started batting his hand away.

"Stop!" She screamed. "It hurts! It hurts!" He immediately released her clit and removed the toy. She covered her face with her hands and sighed in desperation. "This is never going to work. It pulls at my flesh too much. It's unbearable. I'm sorry…" She took a shuddering breath. "This is impossible!" She tried to get out from underneath his body but he crawled up her body and pinned her down.

"Giving up so easily, Carter?" She looked at him. He must have realized that the vibrator idea was a failure. "You weren't kidding about this being a serious problem." He said as he had just realized it. Sam closed her eyes in frustration, combined with arousal and shame. But then she felt him move lower on her and start licking at her folds. Not to arouse but in a soothing manner. He kept licking her to get her body to relax again and she allowed one of her hand to move to rest on his head. She just lay there looking at him licking her. "It's ok." He said as he was kissing her inner thighs. "Relax for a while. We'll try again." She smiled at him, as he was kissing her belly, brushing his hands all over her skin.

She had no idea how he was able to maintain such self-control. This whole thing must be as arousing for him as it was for her. More so, since he wasn't fighting pain. Actually, she thought, he must be hard enough by now, to border pain. She had felt his dick rock-hard against her as he had held her body against him and while he had his thigh between her legs.

"Sir…" She said sitting up and moving a hand to cup his erection through the confines of his boxers. He groaned and his head dropped to her shoulder. "What about you? You can't go on like this." She said as she slowly, but firmly rubbed him. His hips pushed harder into her hand. This felt so good and he needed release so much, but he was also too hard for a quick hand job. He grabbed her hand and pushed it away.

"Don't! Don't do that. God, I'm so hard it hurts." He said against her shoulder.

"Then let me help you. You can't keep going like this. Let me get you off…" He groaned.

"Too hard for a hand job. I'll be fine, Carter. Thanks for the thought."

"Blow job, General?" She said with a wicked smile.

"Jeez!" His dick just jumped at her words and he looked at her. "Will you just shut up, Carter? God, you wanna kill me? Don't you worry about my release. I'll take care of it. Right after I take care of you." He bent his head and took a nipple between his teeth and tugged, while he pushed his hand between her legs and rubbed her. He grabbed her tank-top with one hand and pulled at it. "Off!" He said. "Take it off!" She was taking too long to get rid of it, so he just grabbed it and ripped it off her, tearing it up in a place or two and threw it on the floor.

"God, yes!" She hissed in arousal. He pushed her back on the bed and removed his own clothes. When his hands grabbed the edge of his boxers to take them off, he saw Sam stare at him and lick her lips. "Finally!" She said spreading her legs wider and pushing her hips towards him. "Fuck me, please..." He removed his boxers and stretched his hard, hot body on top of hers. He supported his weight on his elbows as he grabbed her face in his hands and brushed his thumbs across her lips.

"Now listen to me, Carter." He said slowly, but determined. "This can work, but I need you to be patient and trust me. Do what I need you to do. And talk to me. Keep talking to me." She nodded in agreement and wrapped her legs around him. "No. Higher. Pull your knees up towards you and spread them." She did as he asked and her pelvis was tilted directly towards him. He placed his dick against her and just as with the vibrator he started rubbing himself against her for lubrication. And this time to get her accustomed to the feel of him. To his size and texture.

She moaned in complete and utter pleasure. He was hard and hot and large. Which, she realized, should worry her but the velvety feel of him against her wet folds, moving steadily was far too good. Her hands grabbed the pillow next to her head and she started thrusting against him. He moved his hips and placed the tip of his dick against her opening. "Your hands…" He breathed. "Grab a hold of me. Keep your hands on me."

She moved her hands to grab at his shoulders and felt him push in. He slipped just the head in, just he had done with the vibrator and felt her body give. She was tight but she just moaned as he entered her and squeezed his shoulders. "Ah… Oh my God…" She said. "Don't stop. I'm ok, push in."

"Easy Carter, easy." He said and he started moving his sips slightly keeping the head in and moving it around inside her, stretching her a bit more. She moaned, but Jack soon felt her hips move with him and he pushed a bit more against her and slipped in another inch. Her muscles resisted him and tightened a bit and she hissed in pain.

"Oh God… too much…" She breathed.

"Easy…" He said stopping. "There we go… relax…" He didn't remove his length from inside her body. She was unbelievably tight and wave after wave of pleasure shot through his body. Jack felt his body start to tremble but he kept a strong hold of his self-control and he just kept himself still to let her time to adjust. His hands had grabbed fist full of the sheet, squeezing it until his knuckles were white, trying not to give in to the sweet, blissful release her tight body promised him. He fought with every muscle in his body and won. This wan't about him.

After a short while he started moving slowly, pulling out until just the head was in and slipping in the same length. She kept moaning and breathing loudly but she didn't stop him. On his last push in, he slipped in a bit more. And taking advantage of how wet and willing she was, he pulled out just a bit and immediately pushed in deeper before her body fought him again. Her muscles started trembling around him, fighting to accommodate him.

"Aah! You're too large. God this is stretching me so much!" She had her nails digging in his shoulders and he moaned himself, but didn't stop her. "Don't move. Just don't move." She was fighting to get her breathing under control and to get her body to relax. She felt him begin to move inside her, his hard flesh pulling at hers and stretching it. He was slipping in and out easily and her juices kept flowing and covering him. "This is too much!" She said as her muscled still trembled and her nails started clawing at his shoulder blades. "I can't do this. I can't anymore… too much…"

"Come on Carter, we're almost there… look at me." She opened her eyes and looked at his face. "You're ok…" He said as he pushed in. "You're ok… We're almost there… Let me fuck you…" He had been one split second away from saying "make love to you", but he changed the words in time. Not love. This was a favor. For her. He was doing this for her. He was helping her. He moved his hands under her shoulders and hugged her body to him. "Here we go… a little more…" He pushed in a little deeper and this time he felt a real resistance to his thrust. He kept moving, to stretch her as far as he had entered and tried to push again.

"No. Oh God!" She bit his shoulder and neck as her hands clawed his entire back. "Hurts… it hurts."

Jack moved his left hand to hook it underneath her knee and push it up more and wider, opening her more. As far as he could. He felt himself slip deeper in and she hissed in pain fingers clawing at his skin to draw blood and her teeth closed on his neck. "There we go… just like that…" He moved his head to give her teeth better access to his neck. "That's it…that's it just like that, Carter." He kept pushing inside her until he was fully inside. She screamed as loud as she could, throwing her head back, but she accepted him. His entire dick was inside her body. And he stopped.

She continued to let little screams slip off her lips, her chest vibrating against his and he remained still, hugging her body closer, until she stopped. He moved his dick around a little, to let her feel she's taken the entire length of him and she let her body fall back on the pillow. Her inner muscles were still fighting to relax around his size, but the pain was gone. She moved her palms over the planes of his body and felt his muscles tremble. Sam opened her eyes and looked at him. His body was trembling in his effort to keep himself above her and from fighting for his self-control. His eyes were dark with restrained passion and glazed over from need and desire. "Ok? You ok?" He asked.

"Yes. No more pain." He had managed to push the entire length of his dick inside her and it had been with acceptable pain. There had been more tension as her muscles gave way, than pain from tearing her. Jack had slipped in little by little and was now inside her. "God, you're amazing." She said as she ran her fingers over his face. He closed his teeth over the tip of them and ran the tip of his tongue over her fingers.

"You're just saying that because I have a big dick!" She laughed at his remark. "And dear Lord, you're a screamer! I think you blew out my ear drums!" She moaned. She couldn't believe he was fully inside her tight body, with a rock hard dick and he was cracking jokes. "I'm gonna start moving. Thrust inside you." He started moving his hips with slow short strokes then pulling almost all the way out and thrusting back in again. She was moaning and hissing, but there was no pain. Jack's movements became more and more determined, until he was fucking her hard. "Hurting you?"

"No… oh, don't stop, this is so good…" She started licking at his neck and moving her hands over his body. "Harder…"

"Are you going to come?" He asked between clenched teeth. They were still looking at each other faces.

"No… God this is good, but no. Too tender." She moaned as he thrust in hard. "Oh yes!" He kept moving inside her, hard, for a little more time and then stopped.

"You sure you're not going to come?" He asked again. She nodded and Jack lifted himself up on his hands and moved to pull out of her and get off her body. He was still hard and she grabbed his ass to hold him in.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"We're done. It's over. You've finished Carter, you did it. It's over." He moved to leave her again.

"But you haven't finished. You're still hard. What are you doing?" She heard him moan.

"This was for you. This was about you, not me. I've done what you needed of me, it's over. I've done this only for you. I'm not going to come inside you, Carter. Now please, let me get up before I loose control."

"You need this…"

"Carter! Stop!" There was pain in his voice. "You're not mine! I've done this because I couldn't stand the thought of that idiot hurting you! I'm not…" He pulled completely out of her and moved his weight off her body. "… going to come inside you. This wasn't about getting off inside your body." Jack sat on the edge of her bed, his dick standing up against his abdomen and he rubbed his face with his hands and through his hair. He looked back at her. She looked sad. She looked at him with regret and sorrow. "It's ok." He said. "I started all of this with this intention. I never planned on finishing inside you. I knew what I was doing." He sighed. "Ok if I'm gonna use your bathroom?" She nodded and he got up and walked to the bathroom.

He closed the door and turned on the water in the sink. He splashed some water on his face but refused to look in the mirror. He knew he looked like hell. He turned around and leaned against the sink. He moved one of his hands to grab his dick and stroked hard up its length. It was painful. But he needed release. He groaned and kept stroking.

Sam watched the door to her bathroom close behind him and she just sat there, naked, with the covers of her bed wrapped around her to keep the chill away. He had done this for her, but he refused to let her do something for him. She kept starring at the door. She knew what he was doing in there. Or trying to do. She sighed. He deserved better from her than to just have to get himself off. She wanted to give him this. To have him loose all control inside her body.

She looked at the clock. It was 5 AM. When he walked in her room it had been 12 AM. They had been doing this for 5 hours. Jack had been doing this for 5 hours. He took his time, gave her time. He was patient, he was careful, he proved to have more self-control than even she thought he would have. He took 5 hours to fully penetrate her. He stayed with her for 5 hours, not once loosing his patience or self-control. And he was now alone in her bathroom trying to find release.

She threw the covers off and walked towards the bathroom door. She pause a moment before it and considered knocking. Then again, he hadn't knocked when he entered her bedroom and all this began. She pushed the door open and looked at him. His lean body was rested up against the sink and he had one of his hands wrapped around his dick stroking hard. His eyes were closed and lips parted. She moved quietly towards him and laced her fingers through his and grabbed hold of his dick. His eyes snapped open and focused on her face. He hisses but his hand kept moving along with hers along his length. "Christ Carter! What are you doing?"

"I thought you were too hard for a hand job." She said as she kept stroking him while her other hand moved to his balls. He pushed his hips in her hand and moaned.

"I am. This is getting painful here." Her hand stopped. "Don't stop, I need to come."

"Let me suck you." She said but he gave her a definite no. Not inside her. In any manner.

Sam bent her head a little and ran her tongue over his chest and then one of his nipples, hearing him groan loudly. "Carter… don't. I'm too turned on as I am."

"Just checking…" She pulled her head back and looked at him. He ran his fingers down her chest and belly and then moved to brush her inner thighs. She was damp from her juices and he just coated his fingers in them. When he pulled away he noticed small traces of blood. Regret and pain flashed across his face. He had hurt her. "No you haven't." She said. She knew what he was thinking. "You haven't. You did everything right. No one else would have taken that much care of me. Jack… Pete's gone. It's over." His eyes flashed bright with hope as he looked at her.

"When did you come to this conclusion?"

"When you pushed inside me completely and all I could think was God this is so right, I need this man so much!" He closed his eyes slowly and she knew he was fighting for control. "Don't ever run away from me. Don't you ever, ever hold back!" Sam grabbed his head and pressed her lips against his and pushed her tongue in his mouth. He groaned and his hands immediately went in her hair pressing her closer. He opened his mouth more and allowed her tongue to do what it wanted.

Sam caressed his tongue with hers, ran it around his teeth, his cheeks, pushing and tasting ever little part of his mouth. He was delicious. And surprisingly undemanding. Only his lips were demanding as they sucked her own, to keep her mouth molded against his. She started pulling him from the bathroom and back into her bedroom. He complied and she pushed him on the bed and in one move straddled his hips.

Jack pulled her down against him and kissed her again this time their tongues thrusting in each other's mouths. She lifted her hips and slid down on his dick, taking all of him in on the first try. She moaned in his mouth as her muscles still fought a little to accept his entire length and he bucked up against her. "Ah, you're so tight!" He said as she stood up and grabbed hold of his waist. "I need this… come on…" He pushed his hips up against her and she started moving up and down his dick circling her hips every now and then, when he was fully inside her. "Harder…" He said and she bent forward a little to change the angle and placed her hands on either side of his head. His own hands grabbed her breasts and started caressing them. She moaned and moved faster grinding her clit against him on each stroke. "Carter…" He moaned.

She bent forward just enough to whisper to him "You don't call me Carter when you come and I won't scream General." His eyes locked with hers. It wasn't that displeasing a thought to him and he grinned. "Oh, you want it dirty?" She said and moved a hand behind her to grab his balls. His hips bucked and she smiled. "What's it gonna be? General?" All he could do was groan at what her inner muscles and hand were doing to him. "Come on… what's it gonna be? I'm about to bring you off." She massaged his balls a bit rougher.

"Samantha…" He moaned. "Oh, please…" She kept one hand on his balls and rested her weight on the one placed firmly on the bed beside his head.

"Touch me. I'm close too… just a little more help." She said and he moved both his hands from her breasts to her waist. One went to rub her clit while the other moved around her to touch her ass. His fingers moved across her clit in time with the movements of her hips. "Oh, so close…" He pinched her clit between two fingers and she came around him, her body contracting hard and fast around his dick, while she loudly and unashamed screamed "Jonathan!!!"

His name torn of her lips like this, along with her contracting body and her hand on his balls tore him apart and his orgasm hit him in full force, raging through him and in exchange tearing her name of his lips. He wasn't a screamer. He never screamed his orgasms. He did now. "Samantha!" Came of his lips loudly and clearly, as his whole body jerked under hers.

Sam's body fell limp over his and he wrapped his arms around her, while she caressed his face and hair with her hands and kept moving her hips slowly on him, as the aftershocks were still going through them both. She started kissing along his jaw and he was running his hands up and down her back. "You're mine!" He said in her ear. She nodded against his skin. "Only mine!" Again she nodded. "I'm never letting you go." He pulled her head back, so she could look at him and see he was serious. "I'll retire, I'll resign, I'll do anything."

"You're too important for the SGC."

"And you're too important for me. Damn it, don't think that I got you now, just to have to let you go tomorrow. I won't! I'll do whatever it takes. I'll resign first thing." She poked him in the arm. Hard. "Carter!"

"Will you stop with the resigning? And the retiring? Let's just see how it goes like this. Ok? We're both professionals and adults. I don't need, nor want this relationship broadcast over the entire mountain. This is ours. That is ours. We can do our work there and we can do this here… or at your place. Or in your truck" He laughed. "I'm serious. Do you have any idea how may wet dreams I've had about your truck?"

"Ok… we can do this. Both of this." She nodded and went back to licking his jaw and neck. His skin was so damned perfect and delicious. "Umm… Carter?"

She lifted her head to look at him and raised her eyebrows. "General?" He groaned in frustration. "The stop the Carter thing." She said and continued licking and kissing his jaw.

"Fine." He paused. "Colonel?" This time she groaned and slapped him on the shoulder, her lips now finding is eyebrow scar all to fascinating and tasty. "As nice as this is, do you think we could switch? You clawed at my back like a cat before! It's now a bit uncomfortable to lie on my back. With you on top."

"Can you roll us over and still keep your dick inside me?" He grinned and hooked his arms around her waist holding her tight against him and rolled them over. Sam now lay on her back with Jack on top and his soft dick still inside her. "Nice move! Black ops?"

He laughed. "Jeez, Carter do you always like to bring up work in bed? You're sick, you know that?"

"Not really…" She said kissing his lips. "But there's just something about you in a uniform that is so damn turning me on! That's why you're not retiring. That, plus I want to get to come once and scream General." Again he groaned. She was so going to kill him.

He lay his head on her shoulder and shifted his weight but still kept his dick inside her. "Thank you for having done this with so much patience and care." She said. He kissed her cheek and when he placed his head back on her shoulder she brought her lips to kiss his hair and say "I love you." She felt his heart speed up to an unbelievable rate in his chest and he tightened his arms around her.

He brought his head up to kiss her hair too. "I love you." He repeated and he knew she was grinning. Sam placed his head back on her chest.

"You gonna be able to be at the SGC at 8?"

"Shit…" He said. "Ah what the hell! They'll call if anything goes wrong. I'll call in sick for once."

"Wise move. You don't want going in, looking like you've had sex all night long." She felt him bury his face in her neck. He was grinning.

"Sleep." She said.

"You too." Jack felt her breath against his face and her hand stroke his hair until he fell asleep. On top and inside Sam.

THE END