TITLE : His General and Her Father
AUTHOR: Blue Topaz
EMAIL: blue-topaz@lycos.com
RATING: PG.
CATEGORY: Humor
PAIRING: Sam/Jack
SPOILER: none
SUMMARY: Sam and Jack are forced to write a journal together. Day 17.
SERIES: 13th story in 'His and Hers' www.geocities.com/bluetopazfic/index#hah
ARCHIVE: SJD and Carterfic
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. No copyright infringement is intended. Please do not post or distribute this story without the author's permission. Copyright by Blue Topaz, 2003
Note: Thanks for everyone who reviewed the stories so far. I have so much fun writing it. And also to Sandra who beta-read this.
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URL of this story (for
better formatting):
www.geocities.com/bluetopazfic/hisandhers13.htm
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*Wednesday, 23 July 2003*
11.48 : Jack O'Neill
Carter, are you the crazy
person who requested to postpone our departure time for our next mission?
I've already asked Daniel, he said it wasn't him. And I'm pretty sure it
wasn't me or Teal'c either.
11.49 : Sam Carter
Me? Crazy person? Are
you sure?
11.49 : Jack O'Neill
Tell me then, who in
their right mind would want to go to another planet at 00.00?
11.49 : Sam Carter
People who actually calculate
the time difference between two planets?
11.49 : Jack O'Neill
Oh. Right. Yes. Sorry.
I forgot about that little fact.
11.50 : Sam Carter
Don't mention it.
Hey, what about the 'crazy'
part?
11.50 : Jack O'Neill
Yes, I take that back
too. Happy now?
11.50 : Sam Carter
Thank you.
11.50 : Jack O'Neill
Hey, wanna have lunch
together?
11.51 : Sam Carter
I'll meet you at the
commissary in fifteen minutes.
11.51 : Jack O'Neill
See you there.
***
13.16 : Sam Carter
Sir, the General is looking
for us. He wants us in his office at 14.00.
13.16 : Jack O'Neill
OK. Do you know what
this is all about?
13.17 : Sam Carter
I don't know. I just
got my memo a few minutes ago. I reckon I should let you know since I'm
quite sure that this particular memo will suffer the same fate as your
other memos.
13.17 : Jack O'Neill
What is that supposed
to mean?
13.17 : Sam Carter
Before I dignify that
question with my answer, can you answer just this one tiny little question?
13.17 : Jack O'Neill
Knock yourself out.
13.17 : Sam Carter
When is the last time
you ever read any of your memos? Or received them for that matter?
13.17 : Jack O'Neill
I was digging my own
grave by asking you that question, wasn't I?
13.17 : Sam Carter
You said it, Sir. Not
me.
13.18 : Jack O'Neill
Anyway, thank you for
letting me know about this. I'll see you at the General's office at 14.00.
13.18 : Sam Carter
You're welcome. I'll
see you there.
***
14.59 : Jack O'Neill
So ...
14.59 : Sam Carter
So ...
14.59 : Jack O'Neill
This is it then.
15.00 : Sam Carter
I guess so. This is it.
15.00 : Jack O'Neill
I guess we underestimated
Hammond. He got those stars for a reason.
15.00 : Sam Carter
Well, I guess it can't be helped. After all, we weren't being too secretive with it. And he knew about the existence of this journal all along, the only one else who knew excluding us. Let's face it, Sir. We did abuse this journal a bit. We used our Palm during briefings twice, in his presence. He was bound to do something about it.
Besides, I bet that Daniel
already knew about this. Or had an inkling. Teal'c and Janet too. They've
been asking some questions about our 'odd' behavior lately.
15.00 : Jack O'Neill
Odd, huh? I don't mind
being odd.
15.00 : Sam Carter
Neither do I.
15.00 : Jack O'Neill
I don't know what to
say, really.
15.00 : Sam Carter
Me either. Goodbye sucks.
15.01 : Jack O'Neill
We still have till the
end of this week, right?
15.01 : Sam Carter
Yes. That's the deadline
that the General gave us. Luckily for us, he never did order us to end
this when the first week was over, thus he didn't even reprimand us.
15.01 : Jack O'Neill
No, he didn't. He just told us delicately not to waste the taxpayers' money and do our job.
George is a generous
man. A good man.
15.01 : Sam Carter
He is.
15.01 : Jack O'Neill
Right. I don't want to
spend these last moments depressed over something. Let's just take full
advantage of it.
15.01 : Sam Carter
Sir?
15.01 : Jack O'Neill
Let's bring our Palms
on our mission tomorrow. Or tonight. Whichever you prefer to call it.
15.01 : Sam Carter
Bring them on the mission?
Are you serious? Isn't that pushing it a little bit too far?
15.02 : Jack O'Neill
Yes. Why not? If these
four days are going to be our last days, I want to spend as much time as
possible with you.
15.02 : Sam Carter
Colonel, take a deep
breath. You're talking like we were about to die or something.
15.02 : Jack O'Neill
You're right, I might
be overreacting a bit. But I still want to bring them on the mission. I
want to know how it'll feel like to do just that. I might never have the
chance to do it again.
15.02 : Sam Carter
Are you sure about this?
This is the kind of thing that made the General want us to end this journal.
15.02 : Jack O'Neill
Come on, Carter, be adventurous! Let your hair down for once. And don't think about what Hammond wants, think about what YOU want.
PS: If it'll make you
feel better, I could order you to do it.
15.02 : Sam Carter
Let me think about it for a while.
PS: Can you actually
do that? I don't think so.
15.02 : Jack O'Neill
You know you want to. You said that you wanted to test how powerful the communication device in our Palms you reverse engineered from the Tok'ra is. See, this is the perfect opportunity for that.
PS: Nothing is impossible
if you try hard enough.
15.02 : Sam Carter
You've been listening to what I've been saying? Science wise?
PS: Let me guess, O'Neill
fourth lesson in life?
15.03 : Jack O'Neill
Oy, you don't have to sound so shocked. I have some interest in your research. Something other than big honking space guns. Communication is important, it could be used to help us. It's very crucial in planning military tactics or strategies.
PS: Of course not, that's
the seventh ... or maybe the eighth. Can't remember for sure. My fourth
is: Have fun, life is too short.
15.03 : Sam Carter
You know what? As a reward of actually listening to my science blabbering (as you once adequately called it), I'll do it.
PS: Just how many lessons
in life do the O'Neills have?
15.03 : Jack O'Neill
That's the spirit.
This way, we could spy on Griff more easily.
PS: As many as possible.
15.03 : Sam Carter
Huh? You never said anything
about spying on Major Griff.
15.03 : Jack O'Neill
Carter, he had a crush
on one of the alien girls, do you know what this means?
15.03 : Sam Carter
That you won't let him have the girl because it was supposed to be your forte? And if you can't have the girl, no one can?
May I say for the record
that if you said 'yes', I would likely reply with: 'That is so selfish
of you, Sir.'
15.03 : Jack O'Neill
No, smart-ass. This means
that we could make him the newest source for the SGC rumor mill. I got
tired of people stopping me on my way or interrupting my lunch and asking
me about your love life with Felger (why are they're asking me anyway?
Why not Daniel? Or Teal'c? Or you?). And yes, you heard me right. According
to them, this is the latest development that I've heard this morning: you
two were fighting because you refused to back down and become a housewife
after the two of you get married. Someone heard him complaining to his
assistant Chloe that's why you postponing the wedding.
***
15.06 : Jack O'Neill
You OK? You haven't replied
to the last entry.
15.06 : Sam Carter
In time I'll be OK. I
guess. To be honest, that one creeps me out. How could they come out with
something like that? Those people really have too much free time on their
hands. Do you think I could ask General Hammond to add to their workload
a bit?
15.06 : Jack O'Neill
And make them hate you?
15.07 : Sam Carter
Well, I was thinking
along the line of YOU asking General. They hate you already, so I don't
think it'll make that much of a difference.
15.07 : Jack O'Neill
And what's in it for
me if I do this little favor for you?
15.07 : Sam Carter
I'll help you spy on
Griff.
15.07 : Jack O'Neill
Er ... didn't you read
what I wrote earlier? We do this so that the whole you and Felger thing
becomes yesterday's news. This is as much for you as it is for me.
15.07 : Sam Carter
Yes, but I don't really
care about the rumors anyway. For all I care, they can say that I'm a freak.
You on the other hand, you want to get back at him because you know that
he takes my 'Manipulating Colonel O'Neill 101' class.
15.07 : Jack O'Neill
You don't care about
the rumors? So, why do you want to get back at these people who spread
the rumors then?
15.07 : Sam Carter
Because I believe that
they could do more productive things with their time.
15.07 : Jack O'Neill
Nice try, Carter. But
I'm no fool. You can't trick me like that.
15.08 : Sam Carter
Can't blame a girl for trying.
All right then, what
if I cook something for you on Saturday? We could go shopping for the SGC's
BBQ party and then have dinner at my house afterwards.
15.08 : Jack O'Neill
Really?
15.08 : Sam Carter
Yes, really. I might
not be a great cook, but I can cook a decent meal.
15.08 : Jack O'Neill
If you let me bring the
wine, then it's a deal.
15.08 : Sam Carter
Great. I'll see you later
then, Sir. I'm going to take a nap, I'll need it for our mission.
15.08 : Jack O'Neill
Alright, I'll let you
get some beauty sleep.
15.08 : Sam Carter
Bye.
***
19.25 : Jack O'Neill
Carter, are you awake?
19.25 : Sam Carter
I am now. Is there something
wrong, Sir?
19.25 : Jack O'Neill
Whoops, sorry to wake
you up. But this is rather important. We've just received a transmission
from the Tok'ra. Your Dad and my stalker are going to join us to P87 B67.
They'll be here in about half an hour. I thought you'd want to welcome
him in the Gateroom.
19.26 : Sam Carter
Dad's coming with us?
That's great. And thanks for letting me know. I'll freshen up a bit and
meet you in the Gateroom in fifteen minutes.
19.26 : Jack O'Neill
Uh, Carter, I don't know
if you're completely awake or still half-asleep right now, but did you
just read what I wrote? There is no way that I'm going to be anywhere near
the Gateroom for at least an hour.
19.26 : Sam Carter
Yes, Dad is coming. I
thought you liked him. You always greet him every time he comes here. What's
wrong with today?
19.26 : Jack O'Neill
You're still half-asleep
then. Scroll up a bit and read who's coming with him.
19.26 : Sam Carter
Oh my.
19.26 : Jack O'Neill
Oh my indeed.
19.27 : Sam Carter
More reason for you to
be in the Gateroom then.
19.27 : Jack O'Neill
Go drink a cup of coffee,
then we'll talk again. You know, I've never noticed up until now that you're
not that sharp when you're half-asleep.
19.27 : Sam Carter
But we made a pact that
we'd stay together for better or worse when she's around, didn't we? You
haven't forgotten about that already, have you?
19.27 : Jack O'Neill
It was so last week.
It's no longer valid.
19.27 : Sam Carter
All right then, if she
somehow puts her moves on you while we're on the planet, don't coming running
to me for help, OK?
19.27 : Jack O'Neill
Damn.
OK, OK. I'll see you
in the Gateroom then.
19.27 : Sam Carter
Thank you, Sir. You're
so kind.
19.27 : Jack O'Neill
Kind, my ass.
Is this the kind of manipulation
that you teach in your class?
19.27 : Sam Carter
One of many, yes.
19.28 : Jack O'Neill
I want the list of all
the people who have taken this class.
19.28 : Sam Carter
Sorry Sir, but I can't
do that. The contract clearly said that I have to protect the anonymous
status of my students.
19.28 : Jack O'Neill
Oh, you protect them,
huh? What about me? Why didn't you protect me? Instead you exploited me
to the whole world.
19.28 : Sam Carter
Because you can take
everything that I dish out, Sir. You don't need protection. Besides,
even though they have the knowledge, only one or two are brave enough to
put it in practice.
19.28 : Jack O'Neill
You know what? I do need
protection. From you.
19.28 : Sam Carter
Come on, Colonel. I'm
not that bad. Am I?
19.28 : Jack O'Neill
That is what I classify
as a rhetorical question. I'll see you in the Gateroom, Carter.
19.29 : Sam Carter
See you there.
***
23.13 : Jack O'Neill
Carter, just saw your
Dad in the General's office. Where are you now?
23.14 : Sam Carter
In my quarters, Sir,
getting ready for the mission.
23.14 : Jack O'Neill
Oh all right. I just
wanted to ask why your Dad wants to accompany us on this mission? Not that
I mind, of course. Jacob is always welcome here. I'm just curious.
23.14 : Sam Carter
It has something to do
with the writing that we found there. Dad said that Selmac recognized it
as an ancient secret code of the Tok'ra. They no longer use it. At present,
only a few are still able to read it.
23.14 : Jack O'Neill
Tok'ra version of Morse?
23.14 : Sam Carter
I guess you could put
it that way. He just wants to know more about the Tok'ra that are responsible
for the code there by asking questions about the history of the planet.
23.14 : Jack O'Neill
Can't he ask Daniel to
do that for him? And why did THAT snakehead come with him? What's her part
in this?
23.14 : Sam Carter
Daniel can't read the
code, Sir. Only Selmac can. And Anise is here because Dad thinks that the
code mentions something about a machine of some sort. She's here in case
we find it.
23.14 : Jack O'Neill
Well, we have you for
that, don't we?
23.14 : Sam Carter
Would you drop the questions
if I told you that she's here because she wants to have another go at you?
23.14 : Jack O'Neill
Carter! Watch that mouth
of yours.
23.15 : Sam Carter
Watching it, Sir.
23.15 : Jack O'Neill
All I'm asking for is
some respect from you. Is that too much to ask?
23.15 : Sam Carter
Now, THAT is what I call
a rhetorical question.
23.15 : Jack O'Neill
I'm really gonna miss
this when this week ends.
23.15 : Sam Carter
Me too.
23.15 : Jack O'Neill
Ok, you go back to your
packing. Make sure that you get everything that you need.
23.15 : Sam Carter
I will.
23.16 : Jack O'Neill
See you in the Gateroom.
23.16 : Sam Carter
See you there.
***
Note: Now, don't give
me that look. You must have known that the end is coming, sooner or later
;). Anyway, there'll be at least two more stories before this series is
completely wrapped. The next one will be 'His Dirty Job and Her Scapegoat'.
Any feedback and blooper are very much appreciated.
15.07 : Jack O'Neill
And what's in it for
me if I do this little favor for you?
15.07 : Sam Carter
I'll tell you where my
mole is.
15.07 : Jack O'Neill
Consider it's done.