TITLE: There Was A Boy

AUTHOR: Divine Joker

EMAIL: souls_darkangel@yahoo.com

RATING: G

SPOILERS: Nothing.

SUMMARY: Jack takes Sam to Charlie's grave.

ARCHIVE: SJD; my site.

DISCLAIMER: Not mine, just like they've never been and never will be. Father Larry McCown *is* mine (sorta!).

A/N: Found a beauty of a Wordsworth poem and this just smacked me upside the head. Hope that it strikes you like it struck me.

~~~~<>~~~~

There was a Boy; ye knew him well, yes cliffs
And islands of Winander! – many a time,
At evening, when the earliest stars began
To move along the edges of the hills,
Rising or setting, would he stand alone,
Beneath the trees, or by the glimmering lake;
And there, with fingers interwoven, both hands
Pressed closely palm to palm and to his mouth
Uplifted, he, as through an instrument,
Blew mimic hootings to the silent owls,
That they might answer him.
~~ There was a Boy, William Wordsworth (1798)

**<<****>>**

He allowed the wind to flutter over his exposed skin, it's tender breath raising gooseflesh in the chilled night air. He didn't shiver, didn't give any indication that he was cold, and Sam wondered what he could possibly be thinking about, alone on the dock. For the first few moments that she had seen him standing there, she had been tempted to go out to him, stand with him as he enjoyed the view.

She had stopped twenty feet away, her arms wrapped around herself, pausing at the sight of his silhouette over the golden waters.

He wanted to be alone.

She had finally come to his cabin. Her heart had thudded mercilessly as he had laid the plan out to her two weeks ago. Just one mission and then they could be sitting side by side on his dock, sipping beer and talking. He had seemed to enthusiastic about it.

He had when they had left too.

But now, as she stood watching him, analysing his posture, he was subdued and contemplative. A tender smile tugged at her lips. She'd never really seen him pensive before.

She was seeing all kinds of different facets of him lately.

Feeling that going to him would be intruding on his privacy, she turned and headed back into the house, her footsteps sure and silent. She'd give him some more time and then she would be there for him if he wanted to talk.

Her hand had just settled on the doorknob when a sound drifted through the air.

She cocked her head and turned to face the Colonel again, seeing through his silhouette that his hands had lifted to his face. His shoulders lifted and the sound emerged again, wafting gently over the swells of the lake. He was calling to the owls.

Several seconds passed, filled only with the cluttering of the late autumn leaves skittering across the pebbly path between them.

He called again and then allowed his hands to fall to his sides for a few moments before inevitably going to his pockets. His shoulders slumped and his foot scuffed against the wooden planks below him before he hunched down to his haunches and looked back over the lake.

An owl called softly back, it's song lilting over the gentle lapping of the waves beneath the Colonel's feet. With an elbow perched on one knee his demeanour changed into one of subdued joy and appreciation and Sam felt something tug on the string of her heart.

Leaving the door, she headed back down to him, her sweater tugged tightly around herself. As she stepped up behind him, he rose to his feet and her arms moved to link around his waist and pull him back against her, her cheek resting between his shoulder blades.

"Hey." She hummed.

His warm hands settled over the ones resting on his stomach and Sam listened as he nearly purred in contentment. His thumb rubbed over her knuckles and gently squeezed her hands in gratitude.

"Glad you came?"

"More than I can say. It's beautiful being here with you."

God, it still felt incredible to finally be able to say those things.

"Good. I wanted to share it with you." His voice rumbled contentedly and finally he turned to pull her around in front of him, his chin coming to rest on her shoulder as they both looked out over the lake.

An owl called again, and Sam had to concentrate to see it's stealthy form sweep over the water. The Colonel sighed behind her.

"What was the calling you were doing?"

He released a breath of amusement and asked, "You heard that, did you?" He sighed and then continued. "Charlie used to stand here when we came up here. I had tried to teach him how to do the call, but he just couldn't get the handle of it. The last time we came up he had finally caught onto the whole owl call. He stood here for over an hour, determined to get one to answer him back. Just as I was going to take him in, he finally got one. An answer." Sam's eyes teared at the tenderness that he was talking with, the reverence that he held that moment with realized in the gentle tones of his voice. She hugged his arms to her, urging him to continue with his story. "It was great. He was so happy." He sighed again and Sam could feel him smile against her neck. "I caved, sat out here with him for another couple of hours and I told him about the stars, about owls and about how he was going to be going to the stars when he was older."

His voice caught on his last word and a trail of wet warmth traveled down her neck to soak into the collar of her shirt. She leaned her head to his, offering him a quiet, unyielding support.

"I made up stories to explain the constellations cause I really didn't know them, and he laughed calling me a liar. I couldn't deny it, but I kept talking and he laughed right along with me."

Finally he stopped and turned, his arms releasing her to pull her down onto the deck, lying on their backs to look up at the emerging stars.

"That night was pretty much the reason I got into astronomy. I wanted to be able to tell him all about Castor and Pollux; why Cassiopeia has a throne. And then, when he died, I did it in remembrance of his love for it."

They lapsed into silence and Sam couldn't help the tears that pricked at her own eyes as she lived this moment with him. She could see Charlie laying here with his father, hear his laughter and his words and finally feel the connection that the two of them had shared in that final summer here.

"He's still here," she murmured, her cheek resting lightly over the Colonel's heart.

"I know."

~~~<>~~~

This boy was taken from his mates, and died
In childhood, ere he was full twelve years old.
Pre-eminent in beauty of this vale
Where he was born and bred: the churchyard hangs
Upon a slope above the village school;
And through that churchyard when my way was led
On summer-evenings, I believe that there
A long half-hour together I have stood
Mute – look at the grave in which he lies!
~~There was a Boy, William Wordsworth (1798)

**<<****>>**

They had gone to bed early that night, wrapping themselves in the consolation that the other offered in silent support. Sleep was slow in coming, but the rest and comfort that they found was more than enough to make up for their lack of sleep.

Now he was anxious to leave.

"Come on, Major!" He called, mock-sternly.

She snapped to in front of him, her hand rising in a crisp salute. "Reporting as ordered, sir!" She was proud that she pulled it off without allowing the smile that was threatening to escape. She stared him in the eyes.

His eyes raked her form and she thought that he was going to start drilling her on her appearance, except that from the gleam that appeared in his eyes, she knew that he had no qualms with her attire.

She smiled brilliantly at him, and dropped her hand.

"So, where're we going?"

He paused, holding the door open for her. He pursed his lips and then grinned. "It's a surprise." He locked the door behind them, though Sam could only wonder why, given that they were the only human souls residing within a fifteen-mile radius of the lake.

Half an hour later they had pulled through the town to the other side and over a small hill. The trees had been cleared away by a conscious farmer and there, to the right, stood a small white church with a few gravestones littered within it's shadow.

Sam felt something thud in her chest as she watched the Colonel signal and pull into the nearly empty parking lot. She saw him glance furtively at her as he set the truck in park and turned off the engine.

"Father McCown is usually in, and I'm sure he'll be coming out to see who's here. I'd love for you to meet him." He seemed a little hesitant to put her in that position, but she could the truth in his words and nodded silently.

"I'd love to."

She didn't have to ask what it was that they were doing here. He quietly left the truck and waited for her to join him on the other side, holding out his hand for her to take. She settled her smaller hand within his and then let herself be led through the two or three dozen headstones to a small one in the fourth row.

What the headstone lost in size, it made up for in beauty. The dark granite was smoothed on the edges and purposefully rough along the top, until it met in the middle were a small angel perched itself over the grave. It was mourning, it's head bowed in reverence to the soul that it resided over, but contained an aura of expectation and continuation. Her eyes drifted over the figure and then down to the wording.

~~Charles Jonathan O'Neill ~~
~~1986-1997~~
~~To a son, a friend and adventurer~~
~~Travel the Stars~~

Tears pricked her eyes and she laid a gentle hand on the angel, gracing him with a small prayer at the impact his short life had made on the man kneeling before her. She closed her eyes and absorbed the feeling that emanated from the beauty surrounding them.

Heavy branches from a huge oak tree bowed protectively over this grave and several of the others surrounding them, it's thick coverage placing them in a comforting mid-morning shade. It played a gentle beat as the breeze blew its leaves together, surrounding her in an atmosphere of peace and love.

She could not think of a greater place to spend eternity.

A throat cleared behind her and she turned to see a man dressed in robes, his black clergyman's wear giving him a stately and holy posture.

"Hello, Jack."

The Colonel rose smoothly to his feet, turning to the man and extending his hand. "Father."

The two shook hands like old friends and Sam realized that they just could be, given that this was the man that more than likely laid the Colonel's son to rest.

"It's been a while since you've come to see Charlie."

He smiled a sad smile and nodded. "I've been busy." It sounded like a hollow excuse, but Sam knew that it was indeed the truth. This had been the first time in months that they had been granted enough leave that he could attempt to make it up here.

The Father nodded in acceptance of his words and moved to stand at the foot of Charlie's grave. He looked down at the grass that was thriving over the site and then up at Sam who stood silently to the side. He smiled in greeting.

"I'm Father Larry McCown."

"Samantha Carter." She said, shaking his hand. She saw his eyes flick from her to the Colonel who had resumed kneeling at the gravesite.

He sidled up to her, so that his elbow was touching hers and she looked at him expectantly. He smiled at her with a kindly twinkle in his eyes and Sam almost felt the urge to blush.

"Ah… Samantha. It's nice to… meet you."

Sam got the distinct impression that this hadn't been the first time that he had heard her name. She quirked an eyebrow at him and then took his proffered arm as he indicated the small path leading off to the side. Looking down at the Colonel, she knew that he wouldn't mind some time to kneel with his son and get some bonding done.

The Father's steps were gentle and respectful as he followed the path and then he stopped at the mouth, turning to face her.

"I'm glad that I've finally been allowed to meet you, Samantha. I've heard a lot about you."

Sam really did blush, wondering what kind of pedestal the Colonel had put her on as he had discussed her with the man beside her. Father McCown patted her arm gently and chuckled at the look in her eyes.

"He was very respectful of you. So much so that I figured you in his life long before he actually started to talk about you in that light. Two others, Daniel and Teal'c," he paused as that name flittered off of his tongue, but then continued as though unperturbed. "They're also really important to him."

Sam nodded in understanding and looked over at the Colonel who seemed to be talking with Charlie. She looked at the ground by her feet and then up to the Father with a happy glint in her eye.

"He's as important to us as we are to him."

Apparently pleased by her remark, the older man smiled contentedly.

"I can see that." Gently he took her arms and began to lead her back to the grave. "I've known Jack for quite some time, Samantha, and I hope that I can get to know you too. He's a good man, with a lot of troubles… but since he's shown this to you, I can tell already that you're something other than anything else he's come across."

They settled into a comfortable silence as they made their way back to the Colonel's side. They stood by his side, silently granting him their support and for a moment he lokoed up at her and the Father and then back down at the grass below him.

Sam smiled happily and then looked down to the bowed head before her. She laid a hand to his silvering hair and felt him rub into the pressure just the slightest bit.

Father McCown patted her on her shoulder and the silently made his way through the yard and back into the church, the old doors squeaking from frequent use.

She stood next to him in silence for a moment and then look up to the sky, the cloud floating lazily in the sunshine.

For a moment she allowed herself to dream of heaven. Dreams of her mother sitting there, watching her think. Dreams of Charlie floating happily among the millions of stars littering his universal playground. Dreams of all those she had lost and would lose.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, running her fingers through the short hair beneath her palm.

"Sam, do you believe in heaven?"

"I'd like to think it's there." Not surprised that he seemed to address the one thing that she had just been thinking about. "Why?"

He looked at her for a moment and then blinked, looking into the bright sky. "Cause I think I'm beginning to."

He smiled and then pulled her hand to join him in the grass.

~~FIN~~

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