Title: Booty Call (First in the Movie Series)

Author: Malinne

Email: malinne@sbcglobal.net

Status: Complete

Rating: NC-17 just to be safe, might get away with PG-13. Discussion of sex.

Summary: Sam sees Jack's bare butt and starts thinking.

Classification: Sam & Jack UST

Spoilers: Season 7 after Homecoming. No episode spoilers.

Archive: SJ-NC17, SJD- yes

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II)Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.

"Dismissed" came the words of General Hammond. "Report to the infirmary. Colonel, get that hand tended. We'll debrief tomorrow at 0900hrs tomorrow."

SG-1 handed their weapons over to the SF's and headed out of the gate room. "Come on kiddies, I'm not going alone to face Frasier and her big `ol needles," Jack quipped at his team.

The mission had been pretty routine. No goa'uld. No aliens of any kind. Boring earth type flora and fauna. Boring trees. Boring rocks. But a sharp rock had put a pretty nasty cut on the palm of Jack's hand when they sat to take a break on the long hike back to the gate.

Arriving in the infirmary, SG-1 split up—each going into their usually cubicles, Colonel O'Neill in the first, Major Carter the second, Daniel the third, and finally Teal'c the fourth. Dr. Frasier took a quick look at the Colonel's hand and called for a nurse to scrub the wound while she moved on to do Sam's post mission exam.

Janet spoke as she began her exam. "Sam, do you have any plans for tonight? We haven't had a girl's night in ages. I thought you might come. Cassie has a sleep over with a friend. So, we could relax and let it all hang out."

"Sounds good. I'll bring wine. What time?"

"How about 1900hrs? You're all finished here. See you tonight." Janet stepped back through the curtain into the Colonel's cubicle and pulled the bright exam light over to look at his hand. She pulled on gloves and picked up a forceps to probe the wound.

"Geez Doc! You're sadistic! Why don't you just shove that thing all the way through my hand?" Jack yelled as the doctor examined his wound. "Colonel, I barely touched the edge of the wound. I have to be sure there is nothing in there." Janet was well accustomed to his childlike grousing while in the infirmary. "It looks clean, but I want to give you a shot of antibiotics just in case. You never know what little buggers you're going to find lying in wait for you on an alien rock. Drop your pants and I'll be right back."

"Yeah, sure….any old excuse to shove another giant needle into my backside." Jack continued his ranting as he hopped off the gurney. He undid his pants and slid them and his shorts over his hips and leaned across the gurney waiting for her return.

Sam was just finishing up tucking her shirt back in her pants. "Colonel, can I ask you a question, Sir?"

"Yeah, Carter. What is it?"

Sam, unaware of the Colonel's current state of dress, slipped between the cubicle curtains and stepped inside. Turning, she found herself staring at the Colonel's butt in all its naked glory. She froze. `Ohmygodohmygod. Colonel's backside…Colonel's bare butt. Jack's ass. Got to get out of here. Ohmygod. Nice muscle tone. Firm. Looks squeezable.' The thoughts raced through her head. Hearing a gasp, Jack whirled around to see her standing behind him staring. "Christ Carter." He yelled reaching down for his pants and missing. "I thought you were going to ask me a question through the curtain."

Sam, still stammering, started backing toward the curtain. Janet, returning with the Colonel's antibiotic injection and with no idea what was transpiring, hurried through the curtain, running full force into Sam, who, loosing her balance staggered and would have fallen if she had not been able to grab something to support her. Sam was beet red. "I'm sorry…I can explain. I…I…" Her eyes went from Janet's face to the Colonel's—who was now right beside her. `When did she move so close to him?'

"Carter!" With the sound of his voice, reality dawned on her. Looking down her left arm to the point where she had grabbed hold to prevent her fall, she saw that the object that had supported her was the Colonel's backside. Her hand was firmly planted on his bare butt. Sam looked at the Colonel with shock and terror in her eyes; then flew through the curtains and out of the infirmary.

Jack was spitting and sputtering, his face slightly flushed. Janet chuckled at her friends. `When were these two going to get it together—emotionally and physically?' The Colonel was so preoccupied he didn't say a word when Janet gave him the injection. `What the hell just happened? What was she doing? Oooow it felt pretty good. Carter's hand on my ass.' The feeling of his groin twitching slightly brought him back to reality.

"Guess I should go talk to her," he said looking at Janet. "Give her a while Colonel. I'll talk to her first; then, let her come to you— okay?"

Jack tried to brush it off. "Okay. If you think that's best. Nothing to be upset about. I know it embarrassed her, but it was an accident. Don't know why she was so upset."

Jack left the infirmary. He decided to swing by the mess for a snack before writing up his report. The place was deserted. No one was there--definitely not a certain Major, who he had agreed to let seek him out. He decided on just coffee and headed back down the hall with it. He found himself heading toward Carter's lab. But when he peeked in the lights were off and she was not inside. Closing the door, he saw one of her lab assistants as he turned. "Major Carter has gone home for the evening, sir."

`Gone home.' He slumped and headed on to his office to write up his mission report.

***

Janet peeked through her door. It was 1920hrs. Was Sam still coming? Surely, she wasn't that upset by today's little mishap. The sound of a car door pulled Janet out of her musings. Opening the door, she greeted her friend. "I was beginning to think you weren't coming. I've called for Chinese. Delivery ought to be here anytime." Just then the delivery boy pulled into the driveway behind Sam's car. "Sam, go pour us some wine while I get this. I've got glasses, corkscrew, everything we need already in the family room. We'll eat in there."

They chatted about Cassie, recent missions, shopping, and movies as they ate, the time passing quickly with the two good friends. Somewhere well into the night and the second bottle of wine, Sam kept glancing up at Janet. "Okay, I can't take it any longer, Janet. When are you going to say something about what happened today?" Sam slid off the couch and sat in the floor.

Janet looked up and smiled. "I wasn't going to say anything until you were ready to talk about it. I guess this means you are?"

"It was stupid Janet…just so stupid. I don't know why I reacted like I did," she confessed.

"It's perfectly understandable. You two have a very close relationship, but it's a professional relationship…and the last time I checked, bare butts weren't a part of that. God…that had to be embarrassing."

Sam sat quietly for a moment re-running the events through her mind's eye. Then she chuckled.

"I don't know which one of you had the most shocked look on their face?" Janet giggled as she sipped her wine.

"Believe me Janet, your expression was right there in the running along with ours." She dropped her head and Janet could see the twinkle in her eye as she smiled.

"Okay what?" said Janet. "Spill it, I can see that wicked grin on your face."

"I was just thinking about the Colonel's ass." She was blushing slightly. "It's a nice ass. Firm ass. I've got to admit it was a little bit…of a turn on. If I hadn't been so damned embarrassed, I'd have probably been a little hot and bothered by the incident. All I could think was `Oh shit!' and `Nice ass!" They were both giggling like teenagers at a slumber party.

"Believe me Sam, seeing `em naked is one of the perks of being the CMO. Your team has quite a bit of diversity when it comes to derrieres. Daniel has none…flat. (All the time she was moving her hands in the air as if drawing pictures of their forms.) Teal'c is round and firm--every bit as solid as every other muscle on his body. And the Colonel's well…now you have `first hand' knowledge of it so to speak, so form your own opinion." They were giggling again.

Sam drained the wine bottle into her glass and blushed a deeper shade as she looked at her friend. "Well…what about…I mean… Well…since you've seen…I mean…what about…the Colonel's other …features?"

"Samantha Carter! You are drunk or you would never ask me that question." She grinned as her friend rubbed her reddened face and grinned at her from between her open fingers, embarrassed by asking the question but fortified by the alcohol. "Let's just say he wasn't standing at the end of the endowment line. Now granted, I've never seen it standing at attention, but he definitely has nothing to be ashamed of. Don't worry...he's got more than enough for you to enjoy the ride and salute at the end." Janet friend winked at her friend.

Sam went absolutely scarlet and began stuttering trying to form a response. "Janet—I –I… It's just the wine. You know…I would never… He's my CO for God's sake. You're right…I'm drunk. Forget we ever had this conversation. God, now I'll think about that every time I salute him. I'm going to see him standing there with a hard-on…Holy Hannah!"

Janet took a chance. She knew that discussing feelings for the Colonel made Sam very uncomfortable. But with the alcohol and the mood of the evening, she took a chance. "Since you two decided to `leave it in the room' after that Zatarc thing, I think you've been a little more uncomfortable in dealing with the little everyday male/female things that come up. I've noticed the flirting has definitely been toned down."

Sam just shrugged. "Yeah, I'm one screwed up mess aren't I?" she asked emptying the last few drops if wine from her glass. A slightly wobbly Sam rose to her feet. "I need more wine."

"Okay, but you'll hate yourself when the alarm goes off in the morning. Sit back down. I can reach it." Janet reached into the wine rack behind her and pulled down another bottle.

"Jan…I miss sex!" She said as she slowly screwed the corkscrew into the bottle. "What I wouldn't give for a long, slow screw with the right guy." She jumped and giggled when the cork popped out. Janet smiled a sly little smile at her. "Oh, honey. You gotta get out more. There's plenty of opportunity out there. A girl doesn't have to be alone if she doesn't want. Granted having a teenager does hamper activities a bit, but there's plenty of gorgeous guys out there just humping to please." Grinning, Janet arched her back off the floor where she was lying. She thrust her pelvis up and faked a moan of ecstasy.

"Janet! You're awful. And you're drunk." Sam laughed loudly and slapped her hand on the carpet.

"And do you think you're sober? Those blue eyes are a glassy as marbles. Honey, you're a lot further gone than I am."

Sam lay in the floor propped up on an elbow, sipping her wine. Both women were silent for a moment. Each lost deep in private thoughts.

"Janet, you ever fake it with a guy?"

She threw her head back and smiled. "Gawd, yes. What woman hasn't?"

"I hadn't until about a month after the zatarc thing. It was like my hormones went into overdrive. I was walking around with a raging wide- on and wet panties 90% of the time. I decided `screw this…screw somebody…screw anybody' and went to bar. I brought a guy home with me. He was a nice enough guy, and the thought of bare skin, hot sex and waking up naked next to a man was really getting me horny. But when push came to shove …or thrust (she winked) so to speak, there was just nothing there to excite me. Casual just doesn't do it for me. My body just turned itself off." She took another huge gulp of wine. "So, I faked it. Let him blow his load and then asked him to leave." She looked up into Janet's eyes trying to figure out what her friend thought of her confession before continuing.

"Janet, I slept around a lot as a teenager…and I mean A LOT. I was a parent's worst nightmare, but my dad wasn't there to know. College and the Academy were no different. I know now that it was stupid and unsafe, but I did it and the truth is…I really enjoyed it--at least until I met Jonas. The abuse he put me through kind of makes you re- examine yourself and what you're doing. I don't know why I let him do what he did. I guess…I guess I just needed someone in my life so badly. I hadn't let anyone close to me emotionally since Mom died. `Keep your distance and you won't get hurt" was my motto. Sex, but no emotionally connection. But I broke my rule with Jonas. He could be so…charismatic. He made me feel…but his dark side was…" She closed her eyes and paused. Shaking her head as if to shake away the memories, she continued. "So I broke our engagement and swore an oath to myself that I would never find myself in that situation again. And no way in hell was I ever going to put up with any shit like that again. That was five years ago. I hadn't slept with anyone since."

She sat up and leaned against the couch pouring more wine into her glass. Half glancing up at her friend to gauge her reaction, she took a drink, then pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on them. Janet could see the faint glint of tears in the corner of her eye.

Sucking in a slow breath Sam continued. "It really didn't bother me until after the whole arm band issue."

"You mean after the Zatarc thing?" Janet reached for the bottle. Sam picked it up and poured the wine for her; then, refilled her own glass again.

"Yeah…Janet you were there. You know how I feel about him. God, I told that machine and everyone in there, that in no uncertain terms that I was in love with my commanding officer. Shit...I was lucky. That confession could have been career suicide if the General had heard it? But admitting to loving him wasn't the problem. It was learning that he cares too. Those few words and touches fueled a whole plethora of wet dreams that make me really…really want too get laid. I've spent quite a few nights since then relieving myself with Mr. Vibrator"

"But Sam…admit it to yourself…its not just the sex. If that were the case, your body wouldn't have betrayed you with guy you picked up. He was safe—a stranger with no strings attached. Or maybe you felt like you were betraying someone else by sleeping with him?" It was more of a statement than a question. "Sam, it's obvious to everyone close to you two that you and Jack love each other. But there are some very big trust and intimacy issues here."

"No Janet...there are obviously some fraternization regs here. Plus the ramifications of a relationship with him really scares me. It would complicate too much—the SGC, SG-1…my life." Sam sat back up and stared into her wine. "Oh God Janet, what did you mean everyone knows? Tell me I'm not that obvious. I've tried to remain very professional; I've tried to quit flirting. I never touch him. It's always been `Colonel', `yes, Sir' and `no, Sir'--never `Jack'. Thank God at least General Hammond wasn't there to hear it all."

"Sam…he knows." Janet said. She watched as her friend tipped up her wine glass and drained it. "He read the reports and he discussed it with me. As CMO he felt I should have input into the emotional ability of the two of you to continue to work together...I told him that while you may be in love with the Colonel, I have no doubt that you love Daniel and Teal'c too. Not in the same `a man and a woman' sense, but it is that close bond of love that has made SG-1 the star of the SGC. You four love each other…and it's obvious just to look at you when you walk back through that gate together every time--whether you're carrying a wounded teammate, or all four standing and joking with each other. Sam, they are your family now. You have let your barriers down and let them all get close to you."

"You're right. Daniel and Teal'c are like brothers to me. And the Colonel…" She hesitated and took another drink. "He's my CO…and a valuable member of my SGC family. But that's still the bottom line for both of us Janet. He's my CO, and I'm his 2IC. I would never want anything to split us—the four of us up."

Janet noticed how she had carefully avoided describing Jack's role in her SGC family. "Sam, just remember that life's too short. Don't let something happen that leaves you with regrets."

Sam wasn't sure how to take the last statement. Did Janet mean to keep a professional distance between herself and the Colonel, so she wouldn't regret the impact a relationship might have on the team? Or did she mean she should explore her feelings?

"We better call it a night. It's 0200hrs. You're not driving after all that wine. Take Cassie's room and I'll see you in the morning. You're gonna hate yourself. Aspirin is in the bathroom cabinet if you need it when you wake up."

***

Sam slowly opened her eyes. She had slept very little her dreams haunted by images of the butts of her teammates and a more interesting aspect of her CO's anatomy. Things took their time coming into focus. She lifted her throbbing head off the pillow she was hugging and tried to sort things out. `Janet. She had been a Janet's last night. They had dinner, drank some wine. Talked about the Colonel's butt. (Oooow nice thought…No, no off limits.) Drank more wine. Talked about men and sex, and drank more wine. She was drunk. They were drunk and she had spent the night in Cassie's room.' "It's okay." She told herself. "Debriefing isn't until 0900." She raised her head again to look at the clock. 0800hrs! Oh my god she was going to be late." she jumped out of bed and pulled her pants and T-shirt back on. She'd shower and change at the base. Running down the hall, she knocked on Janet's bedroom door and stuck her head in. "Janet, It's 0800hrs. We're gonna be late." "I don't have to be there until1300 came the reply." And Janet buried her head under the covers.

Sam was probably speeding all the way into the parking lot on Cheyenne Mountain. It was a good thing she didn't get stopped by the police…she probably still had enough alcohol in her system to be arrested for driving under the influence. She signed in with Security and ran to elevators. 30 minutes to shower and change. Plenty of time thanks to her lead foot. She ran down the hall toward the locker room and totally missed the sign indicating that it was now the men's locker room. She shoved the door open and flew around the corner headed toward SG-1's locker area. Suddenly she froze. Standing in front of his locker with his back to her, was a very naked Jack O'Neill.

Hearing the sound of someone approach, Jack looked over his shoulder just in time to see his 2IC making a hasty retreat. He chuckled to himself and continued dressing.

Leaving the locker room, he stopped by Carter's quarters. He knocked and opened the door. She was sitting on the side of the bed staring into space. "Carter..."

"Sir, I'm…I'm sorry again, Sir. I um…."

"Carter, you look like hell. Go shower and get to debriefing. Then report to my office at 1200hrs. We need to talk." With that he headed off toward the commissary.

***

The shower did a lot to clear her head and take the red from her eyes, but it was still quite obvious that she was hung-over. She knew the general knew it too from the head to toe look over he gave her when she walked into the briefing room. She sat quietly and contributed when asked for information. `God Janet was right. She hated herself this morning!'

The debriefing was short—little of consequence to discuss. As they stood to leave General Hammond spoke to her. "Major Carter, a word please."

She felt like a child about to chastised. "Yes, sir." She stood waiting for the dressing down she knew she deserved.

"Major, is everything okay with you? Its obvious…that you're not feeling your best today."

"Everything's fine sir. I'm sorry sir. I apologize and assure you that this will not happen again, sir."

"See that it doesn't, Major. Dismissed." He was giving her that spit- and-polish military look.

As she turned to leave he stopped her again, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Sam, now that I've done the official line—I'm concerned about you. This isn't like you at all. Are you sure everything is okay?"

She smiled at his fatherly concern. "Yes, sir. I assure you I'm fine, or will be with some aspirin. I just over did it a bit last night. And you're right—that's not like me. You won't see me like this again."

He smiled, "Tell you what. You have put in plenty of overtime in the last few weeks—go home and sleep. I'll consider the whole incident forgotten."

She smiled at him. "Thank you, sir. I won't disappoint you. I'll go after my meeting with Colonel O'Neill."

***

At 1200hrs she reported to the Colonel's office. Knocking on the door, she heard him call "It's open". She walked to the front of his desk stood at attention and saluted. "Major Carter reporting as ordered, sir!"

He returned a sloppy salute. "Please Major have a seat." He noticed a funny smirk suddenly creep across her face. "Major, are you okay? Are you feeling ill?"

Sam was struggling not to laugh, but in her mind all she could see was the Colonel's erect penis returning her salute. She snorted slightly and tried to recover. "Sorry sir, I'm fine sir. I'd like to apologize for my condition this morning and for the incident in the infirmary yesterday…as well as the one in the locker room this morning. I can assure you that you will never again report to work in this condition, sir."

"Very good, Major. Is there…is there anything you would like to discuss with me? A reason for this mornings condition?" Jack was dying to know what had led to his always-perfect 2IC reporting to work with a hang-over.

"No sir. Just partied a bit too long sir. General Hammond has graciously offered to allow me the day off sir…since I had so many hours here last week."

He could swear she was grinning. "Very well. Dismissed." He just had to throw a half salute her way. She returned it stifling a laugh and quickly exited the door. She hurried down the hall and punched the elevator button, barely holding it together. The door slid open to reveal Janet inside. Sam burst out laughing and fell back against the elevator wall.

"Sam, are you still drunk? What is going on?" She asked with a mixture of concern and puzzlement.

"I'm very…very hung-over…not drunk. Damn you Janet…this is all your fault," she snorted at Janet.

"What? Well then what the hell is so funny?"

"He…he saluted me…and of course I had to return it…" Both women dissolved into convulsive laughter as the elevator doors closed.

***

Risky Business (Part 2 of the Movie Series) is already posted. Coming soon: Body Heat (Part 3 of the Movie Series)