Title: Freaky Friday

Author: Malinne

Email: malinne@sbcglobal.net

Status: Complete

Rating: NC-17 graphic sex

Summary: Sam and Jack switch bodies

Spoilers: None.

Classification: Sam & Jack. romance

Archive: SJ-NC17, SJD- yes

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.

Notes: Special thanks to Jo'Siris for the encouragement and for the beta.

She was on her knees in the crawlspace, a flashlight held between her teeth, and one hand supporting her, as she leaned into the open access panel of yet another alien device (doohickey as her CO called it). The crystals all seemed to be intact, but there was no indication of how to turn it on—not that she wanted to, since she didn't have a clue what it was, or what it would do. And the Colonel would have her ass if she activated anything. (Oh yeah...he could have it anytime and do with it whatever he desired. Note to self: emphasis on word desire!) Daniel stood somewhere off to her left, feverishly writing, photographing…and puzzling over the glyphs that held the key to a better life or the ultimate destruction that this device could bring to them all. They'd been at it since arriving on the planet early this morning…that was 8 hours ago.

"For cryin out loud, are you two about finished in there?" Came the immutable voice of Jack O'Neill, posing the same question he had asked four times over the past hour or so. "I could have built the damn thing from scratch in the time it's takin you two to tear it apart and figure it out."

Daniel frowned in disgust at his friend. "Jack, how many times have you told us to be careful with these things and be sure we don't touch anything we shouldn't? Wait…wait don't tax your brain by trying to answer that…I think that number would fall into quantum mathematics, which is Sam's area of expertise, not yours."

"I'm not talkin to you, smart ass, I'm talkin to the Major." He looked down to see only the lower half of her body protruding from the open panel, her very attractive backside swaying back and forth as she worked. (Ohhh…the possibilities. Don't go there…don't even go there.) He squatted down and leaned his head into the open area beside her, taking the opportunity to get an up close and personal look at her nice round ass.

"Major?"

"Yes, Sir. What do you need, Sir? I'm kind of in the middle of something here."

"Carter, do you know what this thing is and what it does?"

"No, Sir. I haven't been able to figure that out yet. I keep getting interrupted every five minutes."

"Do you think you're gonna figure it out in another hour…or two…or three?" He leaned his head over her shoulder to see what she was doing. As she turned her head to look at him, her lips brushed his cheek. He could feel her warm breath on his face—in fact, it was warming his entire body, especially that particular area right at the top of his thighs.

She could smell his aftershave and feel his body brushing against her in the tight crawl space. (Oh God, it would be so easy to…Samantha Carter! Get a grip…that's not going to happen.) Managing to answer him, "No Sir, probably not. But the more I can learn the better our chances."

He backed out of the space. "Okay…that's it. Pack it up. We're out of here."

Daniel was the first to protest. "Ah…come on, Jack. We aren't even due back for 2 more hours and we're only 20 minutes from the gate. Darkness won't fall on this planet for another 3 hours—I can do a lot in that length of time."

"Nope. I said we're going. It's Friday…time to wrap up the week. I've been perched on that rock all day and Teal'c has been standing watch on the ridge. I'm tired. You're getting nowhere…we're goin. End of story, Daniel!"

He heard Sam from inside the crawl space. "This wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that the hockey play-offs start tonight would it, Colonel? I heard you bet a hunk of money on who'd win the cup."

Daniel picked up where Sam left off, and continued to rib him, "You wouldn't be putting your personal needs above those of the mission would you, Jack?"

"Carter, haul your ass (oh so nice ass) out of there now. We're leaving."

As she crawled out, she and Daniel spoke at the Sam time. "Colonel…" "Jack"

"God help me the geeks are ganging up on me!" he exclaimed, taking his hand and sliding his hat down over his face.

"Sir, did you just call me a geek?" The Major asked in an indignant voice.

"If the shoe fits, Major."

"Well shoes are something you should know a lot about Colonel. You've always got one in your mouth--with your foot still in it, or you've got one up your ass." She was joking, but suddenly getting a little angry too.

"Major, that's insubordination!"

"SO! Bite me, Sir."(Please…please) She slammed the access panel shut and didn't notice the soft hum that began. "You know…I'm tired of everyone taking me for granted. I'm supposed to be a soldier and a member of SG-1, the darlings of the SGC. But I'm also expected to run the science program even though I'm hardly ever on Earth. I'm trying to fill two pairs of shoes and everybody expects me to be perfect— always right—always the answer on the tip of my tongue, always..."

Jack lifted his hands and used them to form a T. "Time out! Sorry Major. I had no idea you were feeling so pressured. Guess we could all benefit from understanding what it's like to be someone else."

"Agreed, Sir."

That's when it happened. Sam felt dizzy and nauseous. Jack had a sudden pounding headache. Daniel watched as both of his friends slowly slumped into an unconscious heap on the floor. Yelling for Teal'c, the two remaining members of SG-1 dragged their friends back to the Stargate and the safety of the SGC.

***

Sam slowly opened her eyes. Gray walls, dim lights. Beeping…a heart monitor...she was in the infirmary. She started to turn over and was hit with a painful pressure in her bladder. She really needed to pee. Seeing no one around, she pulled the wires of the monitor loose and slid off the cot, and walked toward the small bathroom in the infirmary. She undid her pants and sat down on the toilet.

"Holy Hannah!" She jumped. "That water is cold." Her fuzzy brain couldn't quite figure it out. Okay, probably one of the guys left the toilet seat up and she had plopped her butt down into the cold water. Water 28 levels below the surface was really cold after all. No, that wasn't it. Her butt cheeks weren't in the water, but something was. Dropping her pants down to her ankles, she was surprised to see that she was wearing men's under shorts. How in the world did those get on her? If this was another one of the Colonel's practical jokes, she was going to hurt him this time. Payback would truly be hell for him if he'd changed her underwear. Slowly, she spread her thighs and looked between them to the source of the cold.

***

Janet heard a scream coming from the bathroom. She spun around and hurried in the direction of the sound. Just then, the door flew open and someone ran out yelling.

Sam was panicked. She hadn't zipped up her pants, but was holding them shut at the waist when she saw Janet.

"Janet, what the hell is going on? What happened?"

"I'm sorry, Sir, I don't know what you're talking about."

Dragging her behind the nearest curtain, Sam opened the waistband of her pants and pulled them down to display a very nice sized flaccid penis.

Janet looked down into the pants and back up into her co-workers face "Colonel, Sir. I don't know what you want me to say. Everything looks perfectly normal. What seems to be the problem?"

"What seems to be the problem? Janet…I've got a penis!" Then it soaked in. "Why did you call me Colonel?"

"Well, the last time I looked that was your rank and designation…even if it doesn't say it on your uniform," she joked.

"Janet, I'm not the Colonel…I am Sam!

"Sure, Colonel. I've seen you pull some pretty extreme jokes, but I never thought exposing yourself to me would be one of them. Not that I haven't seen it all before. You know, maybe we should see if Sam's awake and get her viewpoint on what's in your pants. I think she's a lot more interested in getting into them than I am."

"Janet!" Sam was surprised by her friends comment. "I'm telling you, I AM SAM…. Okay…wait okay. I know. A week ago Saturday, you and I went to O'Malley's alone for dinner. I was playing pool with this guy and you were dancing with his friend. You joked with me when you came to the table between dances that you were really getting horny and if he didn't make a move soon you were going to be forced to trip him and beat him to the floor…. Ring any bells, Janet."

"Oh My God!" Janet dropped into the chair. "It is you. Somehow you two must have…then…that means the Colonel…"

"Oh no, the Colonel must be in my body."

They both headed for the other cubicle, but Janet stopped Sam before she could enter. "Hey, you may want to do up those pants. You should probably let me go in alone. If he wakes up staring at himself, he is really going to be wacked. Who knows what damage he might do to your body before he calms down."

Agreeing with Janet, Sam waited outside the curtain. A few moments later she heard her own loud voice. "What the hell are you talkin about, Doc? Tell me you know how to fix this?"

When they emerged from behind the curtain. Daniel and Teal'c were talking to Sam. She had explained their predicament. Daniel couldn't keep the smirk off his face. Sam was getting perturbed, "Daniel, this isn't funny. Did you find anything to explain this on the glyphs?"

"Well, with the help of Teal'c, I got a rough translation from the control panel. It basically says the alien version of `walk a day in my shoes'…but no instructions. Maybe the other panels will tell us more when we translate them." He grinned at Jack, "Hey buddy, is that a new push up bra? It does wonders for your figure. Gonna show us a little cleavage later?"

Sam gave him an elbow in the gut. "Watch it…that's my body you're talking about."

"Children, children!" Interjected Janet. "Daniel and Teal'c are free to go. You two I want to keep in close proximity to each other in case this thing decides to switch itself back. So pick out your beds… you're staying."

"Oh…no…no…no…no. NO WAY IN HELL am I stayin on the base tonight. The game starts in 30 minutes, I am going to watch it at home, on the big screen, sitting on my couch, drinking my beer." He was walking closer into Janet's face the whole time he was talking.

"Fine, Colonel, on one condition. Sam goes home with you."

Jack couldn't keep the smirk from his face. The CMO had just ordered him to spend the night with Carter. "So, Doc…you think we should stay really, really close to each other?" He waggled his eyebrows and looked at Sam. She rolled her eyes.

"Okay, Janet. If you think we really should stay near each other I can go stay in his guest room."

Janet nodded. "Go on home. The General is still in DC, so technically I should be reporting this to the Colonel. I want the two of you back here early in the morning."

They ran by the locker room to grab keys and wallets. Sam slung her purse over her shoulder and headed for the door. "Ah...for Christ's sake, Major. You're gonna ruin my reputation carrying that purse. Here give it to me and put my wallet in your hip pocket."

***

When they arrived at Jack's house, he hurried in and flipped the TV on. "Major, call in an order of Chinese or pizza while I go pee."

Sam picked up the phone, "Yes, Sir. Pizza okay with you? What about…" Suddenly the thought hit her. He was going to the bathroom. He was going to take down his pants and see her naked body. "Sir, wait…you can't." She charged up the stairs and caught him at the bathroom door.

"Carter, contrary to what you may believe of me. I have been going to the bathroom by myself since I was two. I know where to find everything." He turned to walk into the bathroom, but Sam grabbed his arm. "Sir, that's my body…not yours. I can't let you see me…touch me like that. It's just too weird. I would die of embarrassment."

"Carter, I was married for cryin out loud. I do know what girls…women look like down there. Believe me, I've seen it all before."

She yanked his arm again. "You haven't seen me before." She pushed past the half closed door and into the bathroom with him. "If you have to pee, I'm helping. Shut your eyes."

"Carter…"

"I said, shut your eyes…please, Sir," she almost begged him.

"Okay…okay. You win." He closed his eyes and felt her beginning to unbuckle his pants. She glanced up in the mirror to see the image of O'Neill taking off Carter's pants and found it strangely erotic. She undid the fly and slipped the pants and underwear over his hips. "Ahh, Carter. You could at least kiss me before you try to get into my pants," he teased. A few moments passed. "Uh, Carter. I can't go if I know you're standing there listening. Can I have a little privacy?"

"Do you promise no peeking?"

"Yeah, sure. I'll call you when I'm done." She stepped around the doorway and into the hall. A few moments later he called her name.

Sam stepped up in front of him and dropped his pants on to the floor. Getting tissue, she blotted him dry. "Oh…I almost forgot. Hold still."

He jumped when he felt her fingers probing between his legs. Then one finger ran through the folds of his labia. "Major, is there something you want?" he sarcastically asked.

"Yeah, here it is. Hold still." He felt something tug and immediately tensed, clamping down the muscles around his vaginal opening. "Colonel, relax." She pulled harder this time.

He yelled and opened his eyes. "What in the hell was that? It felt like you just tried to rip my intestines out through my…your…well, my vagina."

"Actually, I removed a tampon, Sir. I …I …well when it's about that time of the month, I always insert one before we go off-world. I don't want to start when we're in the middle of something and have to find a place to change my clothes, because they're soiled."

"God, Major. I had no idea it felt like that." (Actually, though…your hand between my legs felt pretty hot!)

He was forced to close his eyes while she did up his pants. Sam washed her hands and they went back to the family room, settling in to watch the hockey game. Pizza arrived a few moments later. They watched the game and each drank several beers in relative silence. Sam stood up and headed into the kitchen to grab another beer. "Sir, need another?"

"Naw, Carter, I'm good."

"I've got to admit it's been a pretty nice evening, Sir."

"Ssh, Carter. Games about over and its really close. I want to hear the commentary." He didn't even look at her when he spoke; his eyes were glued to the TV screen.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom, Sir. You okay with that?"

"Yeah…sure ya betcha. Just be quiet."

Sam shrugged her shoulders and headed down the hall. `Maybe the Colonel is not as embarrassed as I am by this,' she thought. She shut the door and unfastened her pants as she turned to sit on the toilet; then the thought hit her—she could stand. A sly grin crossed her face. She reached into the open fly and pulled out her penis, holding it so she could pee. As she relieved herself, she looked down at the object in her hand. Now, she knew why she had felt the cold water in the toilet bowl at the SGC—the Colonel was quite well endowed. Suddenly a tingle of excitement ran through her at the thought of having this penis erect and moving inside her. The flesh in her hand twitched slightly. (Wooo, don't go there, Sam. You've had just enough alcohol to lower your defenses and you're here alone with him.) She finished up, shook dry…started to tuck back in, but just couldn't do it without first drying with a bit of tissue; then, she returned to the family room.

The game was just ending. The Colonel stood and stretched, "Carter, I'm gonna call it a day. Do you want something to sleep in? I usually just sleep in my shorts and under shirt."

"I'll do the same then, Sir, but I need to help you get changed for bed." They walked to his room and Jack slipped off his boots, socks and pants. He felt a shiver as his hands grazed over the lace panties. "Stop right there!" yelled Sam. I'll finish for you. He reached in the drawer and pulled out an oversized T-shirt and a pair of gym shorts with a drawstring waist. He handed them to Sam and closed his eyes. She pulled the shirt over his head and unhooked the bra, slipping it down his arms and off. Then she pulled the big T- shirt over his head. Next she hooked her fingers in the elastic of the panty band and slid them down his legs, replacing them with the gym shorts. "Okay, you can open now, Sir."

"Carter, I can't believe you are being so silly about this. But, that said…I'm goin to bed. Goodnight, Carter."

"Goodnight, Sir."

Sam headed toward the guest room. She flipped on the light and turned back the covers. Dropping her jeans, she slid her legs between the sheets and reached over to turn off the lamp. She wondered if Jack had set the alarm clock. They didn't have to be back to the mountain early, but Sam did have a new piece of alien technology that she would like to have time to check out. Sam slipped out of the bed and padded quietly down toward Jack's bedroom door.

Jack had gone into the bathroom to brush his teeth. He squeezed the paste on his brush and wet it under the faucet, then began to brush vigorously. As he brushed, his breasts bounced and swayed, rubbing against the fabric of the T-shirt. Suddenly he was assaulted by a wave of erotic sensation. He was struck by the strength of the feeling that ran from his nipples to the center of his body. He rinsed his mouth and put up the toothbrush. Standing straight, he looked at his reflection in the mirror. Carter was a beautiful woman. He rarely had the opportunity to stare intently at her and examine every detail of her face, the curve of her neck, the soft slope of her shoulders, the hard nipples protruding through the T-shirt. "Holy shit!" Carter's nipples grew tighter as they responded to his reaction to her body. "Jesus, this is getting confusing," he swore.

He knew he shouldn't, but he also knew this might be his only chance. Reaching up with the palm of his hand he gently circled the right nipple; then began kneading the soft flesh, while his other hand tweaked the nipple of the left breast. `I never knew it felt like this…so much more sensitive than mine.' The more he rubbed, the more he sensed a growing void between his thighs—a void that ached to be filled.

Sam stepped into the bedroom doorway and saw the Colonel standing before the mirror massaging her breasts through the fabric of the shirt. She should have been angry, but there was something strangely arousing about it. It was her body she saw, but oddly enough it was Jack's hands she imagined touching…caressing her. How many nights had she dreamed of his hands on her breasts? Silently, she watched as he lifted the tail of the shirt to expose one breast. He rubbed it gently with his bare hand; then rolled the nipple between his fingers, a soft, low moan escaping his lips. His other hand moved into his panties to cup his mound. She saw a finger flit deeper and heard him suck in his breath. She should be screaming at him for taking such liberties with her body. Instead she found it incredible erotic. The twitch in Sam's shorts brought her back to reality. She reached down to readjust the material and she brushed her growing erection. When had her shorts gotten so tight? The hard-on restrained within them was almost painful. She gently dragged her fingers across the front of the pants and felt her penis lurch. Sam slipped her hand inside the shorts, and slid her fingers from base to head. She groaned, evidently more loudly than she'd realized, because Jack opened his eyes and looked at her…only aware that he had been caught with his hand between the legs of his 2IC.

Jack was about to apologize, and then he looked down at Carter's hand, inside of her shorts, stroking her erection. She sucked in her breath and closed her eyes. "Carter…careful there. That thing's loaded and could go off if you don't know what you're doing with it."

Neither sure when they moved, they found themselves standing toe-to- toe at the foot of the bed. "God, Carter I'm sorry. I just never realized how it felt. When the T-shirt started rubbing your nipples… my nipples…I…" He was silenced by her mouth. She leaned in and slipped a hand under his chin tipping it up to her face. The first touch was so gentle. Her lips were light on his. Gradually they became more demanding, her tongue traced his lips and pressed, requesting entry, and finally slipping home as he parted his lips. His tongue was dancing and dueling with hers. Finally, when they could breath no more, they broke apart—both gasping for oxygen. Jack's nipples were hard pebbles and his face and body were flushed. Sam's penis was jumping in her shorts.

"Carter…we can't do this." He hated himself for saying it. By then she was nibbling on his ear.

She glanced back into his eyes. " I think this qualifies as being under the influence of an alien device, don't you?"

"Yeah…" he nodded reluctantly, wondering where she was going with it.

She stepped closer and wrapped one arm around his shoulders, sliding the other hand to the back of his neck. Sam stared into his azure blue eyes; then leaned down and gently brushed his lips with hers. Then she took his lips in a sweet kiss, that quickly changed to something hot and wanton. Sam again parted his lips and slipped her tongue inside his mouth. His tongue joined hers as they tangled and wrestled. They finally broke apart, both straining to breathe. "Wow!" said Jack.

"Yeah…" added Sam. "Let me show you this spot," she said as she leaned in to lick the pulse point below his left ear.

He jerked as a shiver shook through his body at the touch of her hot, wet tongue on such a sensitive spot. The stubble of her beard rubbing his neck only served to add to the sensation. "Okay, Carter…my turn." He pulled her shirt over her head and rested his hands on her shoulders. In a slow caress he slid his nails through the soft hair of her chest and traced circular patterns around her nipples. The hair on the back of her neck stood up and the pulsation in her shorts grew stronger.

"My turn again." She pulled his shirt off, baring his full round breasts. She rolled his nipples between her thumbs and forefingers; then leaned forward to rub them against her hair-covered chest. Jack sucked in his breath at the exquisite sensation of the nipples growing tighter. She tugged the shorts over his hips and let them fall around his ankles. As she pushed him toward the bed, he looked up into her eyes. "Sam are you sure you want to do this?"

"Damn straight, I'm sure. I've wanted to do this since that day in the briefing room when we first met. Now, take notes flyboy—cause at some point I want a return demonstration to know you got the details right." She pushed him down onto the bed. After several kisses and a little lip service to his breasts, she moved a hand down between his legs. He tensed slightly at the strange sensation. "Relax and spread em." Sam laughed as she lightly traced a finger from the top to the bottom of his slit. On the way back up, she dipped a finger inside, gathering moisture and carrying it to his clit. She stroked and massaged until his hips began to circle with her movements. Slowly, she slid one…then two fingers deep inside. "This is where you pay close attention, flyboy." She held her fingers inside his vagina and began to stroke the anterior wall by flexing and extending the last digits. Jack was totally in her control. He lay and moaned as she held him there, stroking and massaging. A cry of loss escaped his lips as she withdrew her hand.

"Damn tease," he scolded.

She stared down at the patch between his legs; then leaned forward nuzzling the soft fur with her face. She looked up at him. "Jack, I'll try, but this is almost a little too weird for me. It's like being with another woman…something I've never had any desire to try… and I have to tell you, it's a bit of a turn-off for me." She parted his folds and touched the tip of her tongue to his clit, circling it before sucking it into her mouth. He jumped, shoving his pelvis up. Sam put an arm across his hips to hold him on the bed. She slipped two fingers back inside and continued her assault. Soon, she felt the tremors begin in his thighs, and knew that he was close. Suddenly, he clenched his teeth and arched as every muscle of his body spasmed; then he collapsed on the bed. Sam slid back up his body and kissed him deeply. Letting him suck her tongue into his mouth and taste the juices mingled there.

Breathless as he recovered, he watched Sam stand and slide the shorts over her hips…the large erection bouncing as it sprang free from the pants.

She looked down and smiled. "My god…Jack. Are you part horse or what? Did you know I used this thing to check the temperature of the water in the bowl of the infirmary toilet? Although, it wasn't standing at attention then. I've got to say…I was freaked when I realized I was in your body, but I was quite pleased when I realized this appendage was long enough to reach the water."

Jack had been extremely proud of his real body when he heard her statement. He always knew he was well hung, but to hear it from the object of his most secret fantasies…well, that was the cherry on top— so to speak. "Well…thank ya, ma'am. But if you're not more careful with that thing…it may go off before you want it to," he cracked back.

"Duly noted, " she grinned as she crawled up over him and used her knees to spread his legs.

"Uh…Carter. Not braggin or anything…well, I guess I am kinda braggin… a little bit…but it's the truth. Uh, Carter? Is this gonna hurt?"

"Trust me." She spread her body over his and kissed him on the lips; then trailed her hot, wet tongue to his breasts sucking a nipple into her mouth. As she did so, she used her hands to spread his legs more. Lifting herself up, she positioned her rock hard penis at his wet opening. "Jack, relax. You have to keep relaxing." Slowly, she pushed forward, the broad head passing his outer lips until she felt resistance. She stopped. "Relax." As she felt the tension ease, she slowly pushed forward. Her mind was assaulted by the sensation of his hot walls squeezing around her and pulling her deeper. Each time he tensed, she stopped and waited. Soon he was familiar with the routine. Finally, she was fully seated.

Jack couldn't believe the feeling of being stretched and filled. Yeah… he's admitted that it scared him a little at first, but the pure pleasure of the friction as she glided into him was something he had never anticipated. She lifted his legs to lock them around her waist. He wiggled slightly under her to adjust his position and was almost overwhelmed by the sensation when she sank even deeper into him.

She began to rock her hips against him. He tensed a little at first and groaned with discomfort. "Jack, am I hurting you?"

He shook his head, "No, I just need to stay relaxed."

She began to move again. Slowly increasing the speed and depth of her thrusts as Jack began to move with her. He stroked the strong muscles of her back finding them almost as erotic as the sensation of her chest hair rubbing his nipples.

Their bodies were wet with sweat and their breathing was ragged, but they were close now. Sam slipped her hands under his shoulders and looked into his face as she spoke. "I…I never…realized…just how much… work…this is...for a guy." Suddenly, she saw wildness in Jack's eyes and felt tiny tremulous muscle contractions around her penis, as Jack's orgasm began. His vaginal walls clamped down tight on her, hot and pulsing…pulling her over the edge with him. Sam cried out, "Jesus Christ…Jack." He buried his mouth in her shoulder to muffle his cry. Sated, they collapsed in each other's arms.

After a few minutes, Sam rolled to the side and propped herself up on one elbow. "Damn, you bit me. That's gonna leave teeth marks to explain. Next time—just scream."

"I'll have you know, that Jack O'Neill does not scream. I am very happy to hear you say there will be a next time." He paused for a moment. "Sam…I never had any idea what it was like for a woman. I'm… I'm…I guess amazed is the only word for it."

"Same here, Jack. Looking at things from the opposite perspective does change some preconceived notions, doesn't it?" She leaned to kiss him and rolled him to her, reaching around to swat him on the ass. "I hope you took notes, flyboy."

Do you realize we have just made Harry Maybourne's greatest wish come true?"

She looked down at him, "We have? How's that?"

"Well, in those unfortunate times when I have had to rely on him, he has repeatedly told me that he wished SG-1 would forget about him and go fuck themselves. Technically… you and I just fucked ourselves."

"Oh yeah, I can just see us using that defense at our court martials… `No, Sir…I'm sorry, but General Hammond is incorrect. I did not fuck Colonel O'Neill. Technically, Sir, I fucked myself."

Sam snorted when she heard a giggle. "What have I told you about giggling, Colonel?" she chided. Soon the pair was sound asleep wrapped in each other's embrace.

***

To be concluded in Come Saturday Morning