Title: Solace of Heroes

Author: Malinne

Email: malinne@sbcglobal.net

Status: Complete

Rating: NC-17 graphic sex

Spoilers: Season 7 Heroes

Summary: A death at the SGC leads to a change in relationship for Sam and Jack

Classification: Sam & Jack. , HC

Archive: SJ-NC17, SJD- yes

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.

Notes: Special thanks to Jo'Siris…not only for doing the quick beta for me, but for helping me with the storyline. We were discussing Heroes and it seemed that we were sharing one muse. Our little muse gave me the general idea, but Jo more of the details. So this was a collaboration of love for all the Sam & Jack shippers out there that are still trying to heal in the aftermath of Chimera.

"C'mere," he said as he pulled her into his embrace. She was trembling. She had been teetering on precipice of her control, and he had just given her permission to surrender. She gave in to all her fear, grief and need. Was it because of all the recent loss and stress, was it because of her confession to him—her confession that without him in her life she would have been devastated--or was it simply because of his presence?

She held him tightly. Clinging to him and digging her fingers into the fabric of his shirt as if she could somehow become one with it. She was probably causing pain to his injured chest and abdomen, but she held him, afraid that if she loosened her grip, the moment would slip away from her forever. She was finally in his arms…even if it was only to comfort he, she was in Jack's arms.

He dropped his head to her shoulder and turned his face into her neck. A shiver ran through her as she felt his warm, soft lips on the skin beneath her ear. "Settle down!" she told herself. "Your emotions are on overload…don't overreact just because he inadvertently brushed your neck". But then she felt his lips move, soft and warm across her skin as he clung to her and dropped tiny butterfly kisses on the side of her neck.

She closed her eyes, allowing herself the luxury of savoring the feeling; then, slowly she lifted her head. He too, relaxed his grip on her, but only enough to allow him to move to look into her face. Mere millimeters separated them. His hot breath washed over her lips, chin and neck. Could he feel hers? She wasn't even sure she was breathing. His lips parted slightly as he moved closer. They stood, motionless, staring into each other's eyes. So many words unspoken, so many chances not taken…

Both were ripped from their thoughts by a knock at the door. Hours passed in milliseconds as they slowly broke apart and the doorknob turned. The door swung back and Dr. Warner stepped inside.

"Colonel, how's it feel being dressed and on your feet? Any dizziness? How about pain?" Warner interrogated without ever looking up from his clipboard.

"I'm hunky-dory," said Jack. "I hurt a little, but kinda expect that. Can I go home now?"

Warner glanced up at him and then back the clipboard as he rifled through the pages of Jack's medical record. "Well, I suppose you could…but I don't want you driving for at least another two weeks. I can try to get you a driver, but all the brass that's here now are tying most of them up. You may have to wait until tomorrow." He started to turn and walk away.

Jack was not going to stay another day. He was getting out of here if he had to hitchhike home. "How about if the Major drives me home? Will that be okay?" Jack glanced nervously at Sam, "Uh…that's if you don't mind, Carter."

"No…uh…" she stuttered. "Well, I don't mean `no' I won't drive you…I mean `no' I don't mind driving you home. I'd be happy to do it, Sir." Her cheeks flushed slightly, but fortunately Warner wasn't paying attention to either of them.

He signed the paperwork and flipped the cover over the clipboard. "Okay, I've signed you out. You can go anytime. I'm sending some pain meds home with you, and I want to see you back here tomorrow after the service to change your dressings." He turned to Sam, "Major, he's all yours. Hope he's not more than you can handle." Sam considered his words. Little did he know how they rang true.

Warner left, closing the door behind him. Jack shoved his hands into his pockets and shuffled his feet uncomfortably. "Uh…thanks." He glanced up at her, then back to the floor, probably staring at the same spot that had drawn her attention. "How soon will you be ready to go?"

"Well, actually. I can leave anytime, Colonel. I just need to change and get my purse from the locker room. You going home in fatigues?"

"Yeah…I'm not going to put myself through the agony of trying to change clothes again. I'll go get my meds then come back here. Pick me up when you're ready to leave the mountain."

***

Twenty minutes later Sam was ready to go. She thought about stopping by and getting a wheelchair to transport the Colonel to the surface, but grinned when she anticipated the response she would get from him. They took her car, which in hindsight had probably been a mistake. Her car was small and built much lower to the ground than his pick-up truck. Getting out of the car could prove to be difficult for him. As she pulled into his driveway and shut the car off, she climbed out and hurried around to open his door.

He swung his legs around and put them out on the ground, moaning at the strain on his abdominal muscles when he unsuccessfully tried to stand. Sam automatically reached for him, wrapping her arms around his chest beneath his arms. "Put your arms around my shoulders and let me help you," she instructed him. Then, rocking her bodyweight, she pulled him easily to his feet. She held fast, making sure he was steady before relaxing her grip. Suddenly, she was aware of his warm breath on the side of her face.

Glancing up, she saw his eyes fixed on her face. He held her tightly and stared into her eyes. She found herself a prisoner of his gaze. It was a look she had seen only once before, as she stood trapped behind a force field in the belly of Apophis' ship. The sound of a nearby car horn brought them both back to the present, and Sam quickly stepped back from him. "Come on. Let's get you inside."

After unlocking the door, Jack quickly settled onto the couch and propped his feet on the coffee table. He closed his eyes for a moment, and then he became aware of Sam standing beside the couch.

"I should go, Sir. Can I get you anything before I do?"

"Carter, please, stay and have something to eat with me. I'll need to call for carryout. I rarely cook anymore…there's no food in the house. And besides," He paused and patted the seat beside him. "I think we could both use the company today."

***

They sat in the living room and ate in relative quiet while watching The Simpsons on TV. Both were seated on the couch with the food containers scattered over the table in front of them. Sam went to the kitchen for a diet soda, but when she didn't return, Jack went to check on her. He found her standing at the patio door staring out at the starry sky. He heard her sniff as he approached and saw a tear trail down her cheek in the moonlight. He stepped up behind her and spoke softly. "Are you okay?"

She sobbed and shook her head. "No…I'm not. Colonel, Janet died out there…on one of those godforsaken bits of rock. Someone who devoted her entire life to helping others…and in one mindless moment—she's gone." She was sobbing more loudly now.

Jack stepped closer behind her and hesitantly wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pulling her to him. She let her weight settle against him. "Come on," he said. "Let's go back and sit down." He led her back to the sofa and pulled her to sit close to him, wrapping her in his arms.

She laid her head on his shoulder. "Colonel…I'm gonna miss her so much. Her sense of humor, her care and compassion, shopping trips, girls' night at her place or mine."

"Yeah, me too!" he sighed. "Her big needles, pulling rank on me as CMO, her laugh…God that woman had an evil laugh. But most of all…I'm gonna miss the security of knowing that she was there when one of us came home injured…when you were injured. She was the only one I really trusted to take care of my Sam."

Not surprised by his comment and without thinking, Sam reached a hand to his cheek and gently caressed from his temple to the collar of his shirt. "I know…I knew if anyone could keep putting you back together— it was Janet." She grasped Jack's hand as he slid it from her elbow to her hand; he placed it on his chest and covered it with his own.

Jack felt warm moisture penetrate the fabric of his shirt as a ragged sob shook her. She was trembling and crying. He held her close and stroked her hair with his other hand. Finally, she spoke. "I should feel guilty…I...I guess I do feel guilty." She sobbed heavily again.

"Sam, don't ever feel guilty for being the one to survive. Feel lucky… thankful."

"I…I do, but you don't understand. I hate the loss of Janet. God! I remember when the decision was made for her to take Cassie—she was the more stable parent. She was more likely to be around to help Cassie grow up. I was the one going off world and being put in life and death situations of a regular basis. Poor Cass, now she has lost two mothers. Why did it have to be Janet?" She hesitated and looked up at him through her tears. "But…as much as her…her loss hurts. All I can think…I just think…thank God it wasn't you. I don't think I could go on without you."

"Oh, Sam! You can't do this. You can't play `what if' every time we lose someone, and you can't blame yourself for the way you feel," he said as he held her to him and tried to comfort her. She cried for most of the next half hour before growing quiet. Jack reclined on the couch and pulled her with him, holding her as she slept for another hour, but his healing muscles began to ache. He tried to shift slightly, but he was unable to relieve his discomfort. Giving in to the fact that he was going to have to wake her, he caressed her face. "Sam…Sam. Wake up. I'm sorry, but my muscles are killing me. I can't sit like this any longer."

She stirred and lifted her head from his shoulder. They lay, staring into each other's eyes; their noses so close they were almost touching. Without giving it conscious thought, Jack lifted his head to her and pressed his lips softly to hers. She responded, returning the kiss as she moved her lips over his and pressed her tongue gently against his lips. With no hesitation, he opened his mouth slightly to allow her entry, and his eager tongue caressed hers as it entered his mouth.

Jack didn't want to, but had to break the kiss in order to breathe. He pulled his face away slowly and immediately saw the look in her eye—the realization that they had just crossed the line.

"I should go," she said as she slid from his embrace and stood.

"Sam…please stay. I'm sorry about the kiss. It just felt right at the moment. I know I was out of line. I'm sorry." He was saying the words, but he wasn't sorry. It had felt right…more right than anything had in a long time. "Sam, I really don't want to be alone tonight…and I don't think you should be alone either. Please stay with me. Just let me hold you tonight. I just need to know that I'm alive and that you are too. Please."

Her brain was screaming, "run!" But her heart wanted this too. She needed to be with someone who cared to help her get through this night and face Janet's memorial service tomorrow. Slowly, she nodded her agreement.

"Thank you. Now, help me upstairs."

***

He gave her one of his hockey jerseys to wear as a nightgown. Common sense told her she should sleep in her clothes, but he told her she would rest better if she changed. On one level she knew he was right, but she also knew that this was just another layer of the barrier between them being peeled away. Finally, reassuring herself that they had often slept together in a tent off world clothed only in their underwear; she stepped out of the bathroom and approached his bed. He tossed the covers back for her to crawl in; then spooned up behind her and wrapped an arm loosely around her waist. Sam settled back against him, reveling in the feel and scent of being in Jack O'Neill's bed.

"Goodnight, Sam." His words jarred her from her thoughts.

"Goodnight, Sir," she answered, wincing slightly at the use of his rank. She relaxed in his arms. Sam hadn't felt this safe in a very long time. Nestled in each other's embrace, they lay motionless, not speaking, but each aware of the other—their breathing, heartbeat, and scent. The warmth soon lulled them both to sleep.

Sam stirred in her sleep as she felt Jack's nose move in the hair at the base of her neck; then, his lips grazed the skin of her neck. He began dropping light kisses on the back and side of her neck, the sensation not only waking her, but also awakening a need she tried to deny on an almost daily basis. It was overwhelming. Her emotions were in overload… sadness…fear… desire for a man she couldn't have. The tears began again as the confusion overtook her.

Then she heard…more felt…him whisper in her ear, "Sam, let me be there for you." Slowly, he slid his hand down her abdomen, stopping over her lower belly to gather the tail of the jersey; then, he slipped his fingers beneath the elastic of her panties. He trailed his fingertips through the curls and over her pubic mound. One finger slid into the top of her folds and found her tender bud. Sam arched, sucking in her breath and pushing back into him. "Sam, relax, baby. Open up for me." He whispered his request into her ear, and she willingly acquiesced, exhaling and relaxing as she opened her legs for him.

Jack continued to massage the hardening nub. He moved his middle finger lower, sliding it deeper into her folds. Finding the warmth and moisture he sought there, he dipped his finger and returned the slick, tenacious fluid to her clit, allowing him to more easily glide his fingers over and around it. Soon, he could feel the wetness on the side of his hand as her juices were flowing freely from his ministrations. Once again, he moved his middle finger deeper into her folds, seeking and finding the opening to her hot core. He heard her whispered, "Please Jack…" and didn't hesitate any longer.

As he pushed his long finger into her wet channel, Sam arched her back and pushed her ass into his groin, grinding against his growing erection and making him gasp. He began to pump his finger into her body while his thumb maintained a heavy, rhythmic massage to her clit. He felt her suck in her breath and hold it moments before she clamped her thighs tightly around his hand. He continued to wiggle his fingertip deep inside her, rubbing her G spot—his thumb maintaining pressure on her clit as her vaginal walls spasmed. Finally, she relaxed.

Slowly she turned to face him. Jack avoided her gaze, unsure of what he would find in her eyes. But then she leaned to him and claimed his lips in sweet, tender kiss. Releasing him, she stroked the side of his face with her fingers. "Thank you, Jack" she whispered as she settled onto his shoulder. He answered with a kiss to her forehead.

Sam moved her leg over his, and was reminded of his unsatisfied erection. She trailed a hand down his body and began to caress him through his shorts. She sat up and tugged his shorts from his hips. "Sam…no." Jack protested as she pulled his underwear down his legs and off. She lowered her head and kissed the skin of his lower belly while her fingers nimbly stroked his growing length. "Sam…no. You don't have to do this."

"Ssh! I want to do this for you," she said, as she shifted lower and kissed the tip of his cock, before circling her lips around it. She smiled when he groaned and grabbed the sheets in his hands. Sam wrapped the fingers of one hand tightly around his shaft and slipped the other hand between his thighs to lift and massage his balls. She began to lick the head of his penis as if she were licking an ice cream cone. She made long slow strokes with her tongue, exerting pressure as she slid from the base of his head to the end of his throbbing cock; then, swirling her tongue around the tip.

Sam shifted and took the head fully into her mouth, sucking and circling her tongue around its perimeter. She dragged her nails gently up and down along the length of his shaft. Finally, she let him slide to the back of her throat. He jerked when she began to hum, the low vibrations doing things to his body that he had never before experienced.

Jack was beginning to writhe on the bed. After several minutes, Sam began bobbing her on his erection, sucking rhythmically in unison with the caress of her tongue, and with her hand as it slid back and forth along his length. He released his grip of the sheets and reached for her head, his fingers burying into her blonde curls as he fought the urge to thrust forcefully into her mouth. And then, he had no need to thrust…he was exploding into a million tiny fragments as his orgasm overtook him and he came hard in the mouth of this woman he respected—needed so much. She made no attempt to avoid his cum, but continued sucking slowly and relentlessly on his now softening cock, intensifying the sensations that were sweeping over him.

Finally, she looked up and smiled, wiping a bit of his semen from her chin. Jack O'Neill had finally let her inside the barrier wall that he had used to insulate and protect him for all the years that she had known him. He had let her take control and share this most intimate moment with him. And even more surprising, she too, had let him in. Sam crawled back up beside him and spooned herself back into his arms. Neither spoke, but Jack wrapped her tightly in his arms. Soon they both drifted into sleep.

***

Sam awoke a short time later. Jack was snoring softly behind her. She smiled and wiggled back closer to him. For so long she had dreamt of waking up in his embrace—in his bed. She sniffed the pillowcase beneath her head; it smelled of him...that unique fragrance that was Jack O'Neill. Again she wriggled back into him, wanting to be as close as possible to this special man; knowing that the cold light of dawn would once again separate them. She smiled when she felt his penis stir against her butt, and she ground back against him. She could feel the wetness spreading between her legs.

Jack rocked his hips against her several times; then rolled to his back. Sam turned over and propped herself up on her elbow, watching him as he continued to sleep. The sheet was tented by his now full- sized erection. Gripping the waistband of her panties, she slid them off and tossed them beside the bed. She rose to her knees and straddled his hips. Taking his hard cock in her hand; she slowly dragged the pulsing head through her wet folds, shuddering at the intimate contact of bare flesh. She guided his hard length to her center and lowered herself onto him, savoring the sensations as the broad head burrowed into her dark passage, stretching her and sliding into her depths. She sat very still, alternately tensing and relaxing her internal muscles and growing familiar with the feel of having him inside of her.

God…she had wanted this for so long, but the regs. She refused to consider them now. There were worse things in this life than violating regs. Janet's death had shown her just how vulnerable they all were to their own mortality. When you go out on a mission, you have to believe that you are all coming home safe and sound, but in reality—you know that you are lying to yourself. People die every day… good people. And Sam knew that the chances were good that someday… someday…

Sam began to rock her pelvis against his, gasping at the feel of him moving within her. She moved slowly and gently, taking into consideration that he was still recovering from serious injuries. She placed her hands on her own thighs, stroking back and forth as she rode him. She grasped the tail of the jersey she wore and pulled it over her head, as she laid it beside them, she closed her eyes and dropped her head back. The pleasant ache in her pelvis was beginning to grow. She opened her eyes when she felt Jack's hands cover hers. He smiled up at her and she flashed him her million-watt smile.

"Enjoying yourself?" he asked.

"Immensely." Came her response to him as she continued her rocking movements. "Jack…I couldn't resist. I want you so much. I need you so much. I realize…this isn't probably a good idea with your wounds. Am I hurting you?"

"No…I'm fine." He paused before continuing. "Back at the base… holding you in my arms…Sam, it made me realize something. I can't hide my feeling for you anymore. The pain of these wounds is nothing compared to the pain of wanting you." He stared at her naked form, scanning every inch of her flesh and committing it to memory. He reached to caress his fingers over her breasts, taking time to roll the nipples between his fingers.

Sam arched at his touch, the hardening of her nipples increasing her drive as she began to ride him more forcefully. Sweat drenched the fringes of her blonde hair and glued it to her face, her breathing was ragged, and she was growing tired. Jack, sensing that she was too physically and emotionally exhausted to finish, moved a hand between her legs. At least he could help her get some satisfaction. But she pushed his hand away. "No! I don't want this just for me. I want this for us. I want us to come together…I want to feel you come inside me."

"Sam, hon. Much as I want that too, my injuries won't let me finish this for us. I'm sorry. Please let me at least do this for you." He rubbed the inside of her thighs as he spoke.

"No, Jack…both of us or not at all." He couldn't help but grin; he knew how she was once she set her mind on something. Jack flexed his knees and propped his feet flat on the bed. Noticing the change, Sam leaned back and braced her hands behind her on his thighs. This position gave her much better leverage. Then, Jack opened his thighs slightly, allowing her butt to settle a little lower between them. Sam jerked and moaned at the new sensation as each rocking movement now created more friction on her clit.

Jack gripped her hips, steadying her and assisting her movements; then he began to rotate his hips ever so slightly beneath her. The effects of the change in position were almost immediate. Jack's breathing was labored and Sam began to whimper, a tiny cry escaping her lips with each thrust against his cock.

Soon she was frantic, struggling for that last little nudge to send her over the edge. Writhing beneath her, Jack was aware of her need. Releasing her hips he reached above his head and grasped the headboard for support. He thrust up with what strength he could muster…once…twice; then heard her cry out as she slammed her pelvis against his and arched back onto his thighs. Watching the exquisite scene before him as orgasm claimed he. Feeling the spasms of her internal muscles gripping him, he knew he was about to follow. With one final upward movement, he shot his load into her willing, waiting body. Sam gasped at the hot splash within her as his cock twitched and jerked.

Slowly becoming aware of hands massaging her thighs, Sam sat up and looked into Jack's eyes. Only love and acceptance were visible there. He took her hands and pulled her forward. Sam slid to his side and rested her head on his shoulder, wrapping her leg around his. Jack kissed her on top of the head and gently caressed her arm and back. "So, Sam…are you okay with this? Any regrets?"

He felt her cheek move and knew she was smiling as he kissed his chest. "I'm fine, Jack. Better than I've been in a very long time. And as for regrets…No, Jack. None. But if you had died, and we hadn't done this; then I would have regretted it for the rest of my life."

"Me too," he whispered. "Me too."

***