Title: Loves Me, Loves Me Not.

Author: Telkena telkena@yahoo.com

Rating: 17+ Sam and Jack; very little Sam & Pete

Summary: Pete gets violent, Sam get stubborn and Jack gets mad.

Spoilers: general season 8, briefly mentions events in Divide and Conquer, Beneath the surface and Grace

Archive: SJD yes, anyone who wants it, take it.

Disclaimer: they ain't mine

Feedback: say what you have to say, but if I know what you like, I know what to write.

Author's Notes: This was written after Maryam's idea. Originally she suggested Pete got violent after his marriage to Sam… I just couldn't marry her to that little *censored*. So this came out. The pissed off Jack was my doing (yeah, yeah, I know, couldn't help myself) but it made for good angst. It's an angsty, rather violent fic. HAPPY ENDING, don't worry about that. It was a very challenging thing to write given that, as Mary reminded me, Sam can BLOW UP A SUN, so… Also, this fic deserved A LOT more space, the idea is too complex for a short sex fic, but it had already reached 84 pages so I decided to try and stay a bit more focused on the essential things. I didn't know how long you guys were willing to stay with me. Maryam, hope you like this one, girl.

WARNING: This fic contains violence both implied and graphic. I would have done as I did before and isolated those scene in separate parts of the fic, but the thing is that there is just too much of it and the basis for the plot (if I can call it that) IS violence. It contains forced sex, rough sex, repeated abuse, and graphically described wounds. It has a happy ending, and sweet comfort scenes, but it does carry a BIG BRIGHT WARNING sign. It's filled with angst and violence. AND LOTS OF SEX. Can't forget that.

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Jack lay awake in his bed, arms by his side, staring at the ceiling. It wasn't new for him. But it wasn't something he enjoyed. He wasn't tired when he got in bed and now he was seriously regretting not having stayed up to watch some stupid show on TV. His mind couldn't stop drifting towards her. Sam. Carter. Lt. Col, now. Still his perfect second in command. And still not a damned thing he could do about his feelings for her. And now there was Pete. He hated Pete. Seriously and with a passion born out of hate. He really hated Pete. Why? Because he was screwing Samantha Carter. At least that's what he told himself. That that man knew her, naked and wet and moaning for him and coming on him, and God, he felt like throwing up all of a sudden. But he knew it was deeper than that. There was something about that guy, hat he just really hated. Jack had always been a good judge of character. And he had come to trust that judgment 100%. And that judgment told him to hate Pete. Really hate him.

Jack looked at the empty place beside him. How many times he had imagined Sam there with him? Every night. He had even created the perfect fantasy of her in his bed that he replayed over and over until his mind provided every detail about it. It was almost real. Real enough that when he woke up the next morning, he was shocked she was gone. Her soft hair, perfect skin, sleepy eyes, sweet smile. Details he gathered from all those times they had slept next to each other off world. Jack knew her when she was sleeping. And his mind created her in his bed. Real enough to let him drift off to a peaceful sleep.

If only he could sleep. Sometimes his imagination wasn't enough anymore. He needed her. He had picked up the phone to call her so many nights. He always dialed the first 3 digits and froze. He always hung up. But always went back to try and call her next time his fantasies weren't enough, somehow hoping each time that he'd be able to complete the call. He never did. He looked at the bedside phone again. He could try again. He knew Pete was away and she was alone. He hadn't seen her today at all. He missed her, missed the way her presence still lingered on around his mind even when they were each in their homes. He didn't have that now. He needed her. But he didn't call. He knew he'd never complete the call. Even if by some miracle he'd dial the number, he'd hang up before she picked up. He knew he would.

Jack turned on his side and pulled the blankets tight around his neck, drawing his knees up to his chest. And allowed his mind to wonder towards her. Her lips on his, soft and obedient and he pushes his tongue inside her mouth. Her small, beautiful hands on his body, feeling him, caressing him. Gripping his ass tightly, kneading the cheeks, slipping her fingers between them to circle his hole. A soft moan escaped Jack's lips as his mind drifted off to sleep, caught up in the sweet fantasy. Her hand moved around to his front and her fingers closed around his hard dick. He's always hard for her. Been hard for her since moment one. Hard and ready and wiling. Jack fell asleep with a last though of sinking his dick in her warm, wet, tight body. She's always wet for him. In his dreams. Wet and willing and so very ready for him.

He knew he'd wake up with a raging hard on. He always did. He'd dream of her, fucking her sweet willing body so hard, so close to orgasm he'd wake up with an incredibly painful hard on. That was if he didn't blow his load from the dream and wake up in wet sheets. He'd always hate himself then. How pathetic he became. Never in his life had he lusted this much for a woman and not done anything about it. And damn him, he loved Sam. That was the one and only reason he respected her enough to let he make the calls. Otherwise he'd have been all over her and between her legs so fast… He wasn't a man to want and not take what he wanted.

He'd deal with his hard on and the guilt and shame he'd feel when he'd se her at the SGC in the morning. Right now the dream of her sweet face smiling to him, her lips whispering 'I love you' while her body received him and all he had to give, drew him to his sleep.

And the ritual continued. The hard on in the morning. The jerk off. And then getting to the SGC and hiding in his office so he wouldn't see her just 1 hour after having gotten himself off thinking of her. Jack slumped in his chair and looked at the files waiting for him. Every morning he swore he'd retire or get reassigned and get her in his life. It was like his morning coffee. Gave him the drive to pull through. Just one more day. This would be that last one. But when the day was over he still didn't type the resignation or the reassignment request and every day that passed, her wedding to Pete got closer and closer and closer. One more day. Just this one last day. And he'd go for her.

Jack just picked up his file when Daniel knocked on is door and walked in. "Hey Jack. Good morning."

"If you say so…" He leaned back in his chair and looked at his friend. Daniel came here with a purpose. He knew that. He knew Daniel very well now. "So?"

"So… what?" Daniel had his hands in his pockets and was looking at him over his glasses. Yep, something was up.

"What do you want Daniel?"

"Nothin'…" Jack rolled his eyes and went back to his work. If Daniel wasn't going to say anything he wasn't going to ask. He wasn't playing therapist. Daniel stood there a few minutes more while Jack read his reports. "So…" Yes, 3 minutes on the clock and he gave in. Always did. Jack tried not to grin. "You seen Sam this morning?" Jack dropped the file and looked up. No, actually he had been avoiding her this morning. Like many mornings.

"No Daniel. We have a briefing in a few minutes, I thought I was gonna see her there." But suddenly Daniel saw his face take on a serious, concerned look. And when Daniel didn't try to calm him, his worries increased. "Why Daniel? Do I need to see her?" His friend cleared his throat and Jack new something was wrong. "Daniel? What the…" But just then he caught movement in the briefing room with the corner of his eye. Sam and Teal'c were just walking in for the briefing and Jack immediately shot off his chair, his eyes locked on Sam.

"Jack wait!" He didn't listen and in two steps he was by the door, yanking it open. "Jack don't lose it!" He didn't register Daniel's last words because he was suddenly in the briefing room and saw Sam as she was about to take her seat. Her eyes shot to Daniel and then to Jack, freezing in her spot when she saw his look change. He was curious and a bit anxious when he had walked in. Now he was hurt and dangerously furious and she knew.

She knew he'd notice, hard not to. She would have worn the long sleeved jacket instead of the sleeveless black t-shirt, but it hurt. So he saw the bruises covering her arms and shoulders and chest. But she didn't ever think she'd see this look on his face. The pain deeply edged in his features as he surveyed her, the clenched jaw, the almost teary eyes. She had to take a deep breath to steady herself. This affected him more than it should. They both knew that. Daniel and Teal'c knew that. He moved towards her so fast, she almost didn't register him move. "Jack…" Daniel tried to say something but didn't get the rest out as Jack took her hand and looked at her bruises.

"Sir…" She started, but didn't get to finish.

"What the fuck is this?" He almost whispered, his eyes dead, demanding explanations from her.

"It's nothing, sir. I'm ok. It's nothing you need to concern yourself with it."

"Like fucking hell it's not! What's going on…"

"Sir!" Her eyes hardened and she yanked her hand free from his grip. "Drop it. It doesn't concern you, General. But thank you for your concern." She drew out his rank, putting a lot of accent on it, making it more that clear to anyone that it was a personal matter that didn't concern her CO.

It was amazing to see his expression turn to one of shock and confusion. "Excuse me?"

"I said it doesn't concern you. Any of you!" Her eyes moved to Daniel and Teal'c. "I appreciate your care, sir, really, I do, but I don't need it. I'm fine and I can take care of myself." She took her seat. "Now can we please drop this and get to work?"

"I don't think so Lt. Col. Not until I know what the hell happened to you." He saw her ignore him and open her file. "Colonel, you are under my command and it's my responsibility…"

"No, sir." She shot right back at him. She never did that and he froze mid-sentence. He could see her become increasingly uncomfortable and anxious. What the hell was this? "It's not. Not this time." Her voice softened. "Sir, general, please, guys, believe me, I am fine! Stop acting like I'm some china doll. Leave it be. I do not need this." His hand almost shot to her arm to grip her and pull her to him. And then it dawned on him. The pattern of the bruises. She hadn't been just hit. But gripped and gripped hard. Someone did this to her. It wasn't an accident. It was an attack. One of great brutality.

"Oh my God…" His voice was weak and pained and Sam closed her eyes again the emotions she could feel in him. She never wanted him to know, to see, let alone have him feel this way about it. "Carter… who did this?"

Her eyes closed briefly and she refused to think his voice was cracking. She didn't want this from him. Pity disgusted her. "Sir, as I said, it doesn't concern you. I wasn't attacked, I wasn't raped. I'm an AF officer, General. There's not a man I can't take. Certainly not some dumb ass civilian. Now please. Drop this, because I will not discuss this matter with you."

He looked at her, jaw clenched, but she held his eyes. Fine, if that was how she wanted it, Jack finally gave in and took his seat. Daniel and Teal'c did the same and they moved along with the briefing. They had an off world mission in a few days and were going over the newest intel. But Jack didn't hear much of it. His eyes traced the pattern of her bruises. Some were older than others, but the most extensive ones weren't more that 2 days old. Barely 2 days. So it wasn't new. It was repeating itself. She had some of them for some time now. Why didn't see? How could he have missed this? Because she was always dressed in that damned jacket, that's why.

And his eyes died as he realized she never would have exposed herself like this if the simple contact of clothes on the new wounds wasn't too painful to stand. She never would have let them know. She never would have let him know and that hurt the most. That she was hiding herself like this from him. And he realized that only God knew how long this had been going on. Repeated abuse. But from whom? She was right. She was a very good fighter. She could have killed anyone in 3 moves. So what the hell was going on with her?

The briefing ended and they all stood, but Jack didn't let her leave. "Carter, my office." He said gathering his papers and turning around.

She knew what this was about. And she really didn't want to do this. Why couldn't they just get it that she didn't need help. "Sir… really, I have so much work…"

"I'm sorry Colonel if that sounded like a request. It wasn't!" Daniel and Teal'c exchanged a look and quickly left the room. Sam stiffened and with a sigh she gathered her papers and followed him in the General's office. He waited for her to enter then closed both doors and slammed his file on his desk. He didn't turn right away and she knew he was trying to compose himself. Jack had his eyes closed and his jaw set. He had to do this calmly. When he turned she could see his expression change instantly from one of calm to one of pain as he was once again faced with her bruises.

"Sir, look." She said, before he got a word out. "Better save us both some time. I can take care of this myself, I do not need any of you guys to come to my rescue, although the thought was appreciated. I don't want pity, sir, certainly not from you. I also want you to stay out of this, and let me handle my own personal things. Thank you for your concern, end of story. Can I be dismissed now?"

His eyes held hers steadily, but she noticed his fingers take a tight grip on the desk. "Carter, you're not only my 2IC, you're my friend. How can you possibly ask me to…"

"Because it is personal, sir. It is a personal matter. One you have no place in." That hurt him. And she knew. But she had to get it through to him, had to make him leave her alone. Because she didn't want to talk about it, she didn't even want it in the open. She never should have come in to work today. Should have done the same thing as yesterday and call in sick. Ask for some leave. But how long could she hide?

"Pete…" Jack spit the name out as the pieces fell into place and Sam went stiff. Damn him, why couldn't he be as dense as he pretended? Shit. "I'll kill him…"

"Excuse me?" Sam was half in shock, her eyes wide and innocent.

"He did this, didn't he?" He was so pissed, he scared her. He terrified her. And he was going to kill him if she didn't stop him. "That little son of a bitch!"

"You're talking about my fiancé, General! Or are you forgetting?"

"Are you kidding me?" He actually shouted looking at her in disbelief, but she didn't flinch. "You mean you haven't broken up with that bastard?"

"No sir, I haven't! Not that need to explain this to you anyway. But since I am, let me make it clear. Yes he's the cause of this. I have not left him and quite honestly I'm not planning to."

"What the fuck…"

"It is a private matter sir, one of the deepest nature. And that is where your attributes end, sir. My personal life is my own. This has not affected my work or my performance in the field in any way what so ever, so it does not concern you. It is a matter between my future husband and me, and I can assure you all is well."

"All is well my ass!" He spat the words out, watching her with angry eyes.

"Sir! I warn you! Do not overstep your attributes. This does not concern my commanding officer!" Had she just said that? To him? She felt herself start to shake, words of apology on the tip of her tongue. But she didn't say them, just prayed he'd understand and drop it. He had to, he must and she swore she'd make sure he'd never see the bruises again. She prayed to all the powers that be he'd drop it.

But he sunk even lower that her. "After 8 years I would have thought you'd find it in you to call me a friend…"

Her eyes closed against the pain he caused her and she knew he could hear the sound of her heart breaking because it was loud and overwhelming in her own ears. Friend… she loved him, damn him! She opened her eyes and looked at him decisively. "As a friend sir… I am asking you, begging you, to drop it. Yes, he hit me, but it's a lot more complex and it is something I can handle. I swear. It's not house abuse, sir. Please. As a friend."

"As a friend I can't do that. Maybe Teal'c and Daniel can, but I can't sit back and know you're going through this."

"Through what?" She laughed bitterly. "Abusive boyfriend? Sir, for the love of… I can snap his neck like a twig!"

"So why the hell don't you?"

"Because he's not abusing me! I told you. It's not family violence."

"Then what…"

"I will not talk about it. Because it is not your business. Tell me, do I look like an abused woman? Am I the type? I'm not! Stop trying to figure it out. It's between Pete and me. And I am taking care of it."

She wasn't going to tell him. He knew. Sam saw his eyed drop to the floor in front of her and his jaw work. She had hurt him severely over the years, but nothing like this. How could she ask him to stay passive when that asshole was doing this to her? And she was letting him. He nodded slowly and she breathed out relieved. But Sam was wrong when she thought he'd let it go. "You're to report to dr. Brightman for a full medical exam."

"What?" She never saw it coming. He was damn good.

"I want the good doctor to give you a full medical check up. If she gives you a go ahead for the upcoming mission, I'll drop it. If not, it means that whatever is going on between you and your dear fiance is intruding on your obligations and I will have his ass."

"Sir..."

"You refusal to obey what, by the way, is a direct order, will have the same results." He saw her jaw clench and her eyed narrow at him. He was threading a very thin line, he knew. Sam had been right. His attributions only went so far. He couldn't hide behind the mask of a concerned CO for too long. "You're not to leave the base tonight until you have done the exam. Is that clear?" She didn't answer and he didn't wait for one. She saw him round the desk and pick up the phone, dialing the check-in office. "This is General O'Neill. Colonel Carter is not to be allowed off base until the presents you with a pass from the CMO." The check in officer acknowledged the order and she saw Jack hang up.

"You're confining me to base?" She asked surprised.

"Until you take the exam. You wanna go home tonight, see dr. Brightman this evening." He took his seat behind the desk, obviously too pleased with himself. If she wasn't going to tell him what was going on, the doctor would. He cheated. And he won. His tone turned playful even if his eyes were still pained. "It's that easy Carter. You're a smart woman, I'm sure you can figure it out. Do the math…" She stood in front of him, glaring at him and Jack knew that if it wasn't for the fact that they were in uniforms and on base, she would have probably taken a swing at him. "Dismissed." His voice was soft, but she didn't relent in the angry way she looked at him. He held her eyes, his expression softening as he sat back in his chair and tried to keep his eyes focused on her face, trying very hard to block out her severely bruised arms and torso.

"Yes, sir." She said dryly and turned to leave. If she was to make it complete she whould have mocked a salute in his direction but she didn't go that far. She slammed the door to his office shut so hard he winced, expecting his pictures to fall off the walls. But he just couldn't let her be. Not when he loved her so much.

He rested his head in his hands on the desk, trying to calm down, but he was boiling inside. He wanted that bastard dead and he was just one second away from calling the MPs to have him arrested. Why shouldn't he just do it and deal with Sam later? At least she'd be safe, no matter what she said. But he couldn't do that to her. She asked for his trust and his understanding in this matter and he had to show her that. But how could he let her go through this? He groaned in his hands and slammed his fists in his desk. "Fuck!" He screamed. What was she doing? What was he doing?

The rest of the day he buried himself in work and didn't leave his office. He didn't go for lunch and just asked Daniel to get him something. He didn't leave the phone and called the infirmary twice to see if Sam had went in for the examination. He was going insane needing to know what was going on. And Sam didn't go to see dr. Brightman until the very last moment before she wanted to leave. She knew it was driving Jack mad and in any other circumstances she would have appreciated his care. But not now, not with this, not like this.

It was 9 PM when there was a knock on his office door and dr. Brightman walked in. She saw Jack look up from his papers and his face lightened up. The doctor smiled to herself. "Anxious, General?"

"Finally!" He said motioning for her to take a seat. "Well? Should I have the bastard arrested?"

"As a woman, sir, I'd say yes." He waited. He wasn't going to like it. "But as the CMO I say you have no cause to intervene."

"What's going on, Doc?"

"They are just bruises, painful ones might I say, but they do not affect her work, or her performance in the field. She's still clear to go for the mission. As for what is going on… I can't say… Her entire body is covered in them. On her back, front, arms, legs…" She saw his face go white and he felt like throwing up. "Sorry…" She whispered. "What I can say is that they have the pattern of sexual abuse, some parts he couldn't reach if it didn't take place during sexual intercourse." She heard him groan a weak, shaking 'oh God' but she pretended not to have heard him. She may be knew here, but she wasn't blind to how he felt for Sam. "There are no signs of rape however. Rough, brutal sex, yes. Rape, no."

"What are you saying? That it's willing? No way! I won't buy that. Have you seen her?"

"General! I agree. Knowing Col. Carter, if this was BDSM she would have taken care for the bruises not to be easily visible. Not like this. She is very private and careful, sir, she would have never exposed herself like this. It must be… sir, it is very hard for her to have you all know about this."

"It ain't easy for us either, Doc."

"Yes sir." There was a moment of silence. "I don't know what to say. I don't know what is going on with her. She's up for active duty… I don't know what to recommend to you. You can have her talk to a psychiatrist, but she does not have the symptoms of an abused woman, he'd tell you that too. She's… fine. Just… bruised."

"No, doctor, she's not." His voice was low and disgusted and dr. Brightman looked at him carefully. "Don't worry, I won't do anything. Thank you doctor." She nodded and got up. "How long has this been going on?" He asked before she left.

"No more than a month." He nodded. "Sir… I'll take care of her as best I can, and if I ever find anything that will give you the opening to act officially, in any way… you'll have it, sir. Short of making it up… At least for now." He smiled weakly in the doctor's direction and she walked out.

"Fuck, Carter!" Damn the MPs, he should just kill the guy. But she had always been so strong and smart, how could he not give her the trust she asked of him? That night he barely got any sleep at all. He kept waking up every few hours wondering what was going on with her, wanting to call her up. He even considered going over there. Just get in the car and drive. When he woke up at his usual hour he jumped out of bed and showered fast, not being able to wait to get to the SGC and see her. He had to talk to her. Really talk to her. Without being an ass, which was the real challenge. He could do that. He had to do that. He got dressed fast and made his way to base in record time.

She wasn't in yet when he arrived, so he changed in his uniform and went to his office to wait for her to come to work. He would have preferred to talk to her before he changed, so maybe she wouldn't see him as her CO, but as a friend. An hour passed and she didn't check in. He called her place but she didn't pick up, so Jack went to Daniel's office to see if he knew anything.

All Daniel knew was that Sam called him this morning and told him she'd see him at the mid day briefing. Which meant she wasn't coming in this morning. Jack's anger rose again. He knew what was going on, he suspected it. His heart sped up in his chest, his breathing hard, as he stormed out of Daniel's office despite his friend's attempts to hold him back and quickly headed to his truck. *Let me be wrong, let me be wrong…* He kept thinking to himself. "Don't you do this to her!" He said through clenched teeth to whomever was listening to him.

Before he knew it, he was on Carter's door step, pounding on her door, only mildly disappointed Pete's car wasn't in front of her house. He could have taken care of that prick on the spot. "Carter? You up? Colonel!" She was in the bathroom when she heard the knocking and froze mid way when she heard his voice. She couldn't believe he came here. She refused to believe it. How could he? How dared he? She couldn't play dead and hope he'd go away. Apparently he knew she was home and he'd surely use his own key to get in. He'd probably break the door too.

She went to the door but didn't open. She looked at him through the peep hole and rested her head against the door. Why couldn't he keep his distance, like he ha done so far when it came to Pete? "What are you doing here, sir?"

"You didn't report in, this morning." He tried to keep his voice casual, the emotion and anxiety out of it.

"So? I told Daniel I was coming in late. I had done today's work last evening and my presence wasn't required before the briefing."

"Not like you to take personal time."

"Sometimes I do. I've done it before." She waited, hoping he'd leave now that she cleared things. He didn't.

"Why are we talking through the door?" He asked curiously.

"Aren't we done talking? Besides, you caught me in the shower. Not decent."

"Carter?"

"I'll see you at the briefing, sir." She tried to cut it short, hoping he'd go away.

He didn't buy her 'not decent' line. "Carter, look through the peep hole. I have the cell in my hand with the MPs number on speed dial. If you don't open you'll confirm my suspicions and I will make the call, so help me God!"

"Sir…" She did look and he looked determinate. When she didn't open he was just about to dial and she was forced to react. He heard the lock open and slowly closed the phone. She was half decent, with only a silk robe around her and she immediately turned away from him, leaving him to show himself in and close the door. "Happy now? I have to get ready for work. Make yourself comfortable." She said, quickly turning and walking away from him towards the living room, desperately hoping to make it to the safety of her bed room before he stopped her.

She didn't make it. When she was in the living room he grabbed her arm to turn her, regretting the gesture the same second when he heard her pained moan and felt her quick attempt to free herself. "God, I'm so sorry!" He removed his hand immediately, remembering the bruises on her arms. But he had already turned her and his knees gave in, forcing him to grab hold of the back of her couch to keep himself up. "Oh, dear God…" Her neck was bruised along with the side of her face. Her cheekbones had red scratches, her jaw was black, and so was a cheekbone. "Carter…" His hand gently reached for her face but she slapped him away.

"I wish you'd stop feeling so sorry for me! God! You're acting like I'm some sort of… of what? I don't even know! Victim? Spare me, sir! You've seen me worse."

"In the battle field! For crying out loud, how can you still marry him when he's doing this?" He found the strength to stand on his own again and came close to her, invading her personal space. She didn't back up, just stood there, looking up at him and folding her arms so she wouldn't give in and reach for him. She could feel his scent wash over her and despite the immense need she felt for his touch right now, she knew what he was seeing looking at her like this. The marks Pete left on her, the proof she belonged to him, a rag doll for him to play with. And she felt shame engulf her whole.

"None of your business!"

"Fuck that! Yes it is!" He refused to take any more and turnde away from her, reaching in his pocket. "I'm calling the MPs!"

"No you're not!" She shouted back at him. "You can't do anything."

He grinned at her. Darkly. "Yes I can. I'm having him arrested for assaulting an officer!"

"Who said I was assaulted? God, sir!" She screamed, throwing her hands in the air. "You just refuse to listen!" But he was already dialing and taking the phone to his ear. So she snapped and swiftly grabbed it from his hand and shut it down, removing the battery. "No you don't!"

"Carter!" He shouted right back, mildly shocked and annoyed at her, trying to get his phone back but she backed up out of his reach. "Damn you, Colonel!"

"I won't let you arrest my finace just because you don't like the way our relationship is going! This isn't your concern, sir! How can you take advantage of our friendship like this?"

"Excuse me?" His eyes widened at her.

"Drop it! It doesn't concern you! I'll take a medical exam when we get on base so the doctor will give me a clean bill for the mission and that is it. Stay out of my personal life!" She threw him the phone and turned around. "I have to get dressed." She turned from him and walked to her room. Jack just stood there in shock, his eyes, hurt and sad, watching her walk away. How could she take this so casually? He felt sick to his stomach when he saw her and she acted like it was a normal thing. What the fuck was she doing? He pocketed the phone, against his better judgement, and walked after her to her bedroom.

Sam had left the door half open, not thinking he'd actually spy on her and just had her underwear on when he saw her. She didn't know he was there as he kept his distance from her door and Jack froze, tears gathering in his eyes and his jaw clenching in anger and blind fury. The fresh bruises were the worst. Big and deep, covering the sides of her torso and shoulders, up her neck and her face. She even had a broken lip he realized, when he saw the care she was hiding it with, under make up. His fists clenched. Pete hit her over the face. That fucking bastard had raised his hand and hit her face. He swore he'd kill him. How could he be face to face with her, those blue eyes and sweet smile and hit her?

Her skin was so pale and perfect, her beautiful shoulders now bruised, the long column of her neck that he loved to fantasize about kissing and licking. The lips he kept staring at. All broken and bruised by that ass hole. And she kept going back to him. To a man that did this to her, pushing the man that loved her beyond all reason further and further away. His eyes dropped to her hips. He could see the marks of Pete's fingers on her. Deep and fresh and Jack tried with all he had, not to lose it. He abused her and hurt her, but she received him in her arms and her body. She was letting him in her bed, spreading her legs for him. Letting him fuck her. Why? How could she?

God he loved her legs. He dreamt about them clamped tight around his waist as she came under him,so many times. They were now bruised from Pete's hits. The swell of her breasts bearing cuts and bruises and he knew he'd throw up. He could press his lips to her breasts right now and kiss away all her pain and hurt. But he wasn't allowed to. When Jack saw the honest pain flashing over her face as she slipped the shirt over herself making sure it hid as much of her wounds as possible and taking two painkillers, he lost it.

He lunged for the guest bathroom, thanking God that he knew his way around her place. He slammed the door shut and bent over the toilet, throwing up. Good thing he had a light breakfast, he thought, slipping to his knees. He didn't know how long he was in there, leaning over the sink, but he did hear her knock on the door repeatedly. "Ready, sir? We have to go. We're gateing off world just after the briefing and I wan to have dr Brightman see me before." He opened the door after washing his face and saw her back up a step and look at him. "You ok, sir? You're pale…"

"A little light headed that's all. You gonna drive?" She nodded grabbing her car keys. "I can drive you, it's no problem…" He really wanted to drive her. Have her close to him. He didn't want to part with her. He had to help her. Somehow. She had to know he loved her. How could she not after all this time? After all the small ways he tried to tell her? A joke, a smile, a gesture. So why did she do these things to him? Why did she push him away?

"I'm fine, sir. I'll drive myself." She knew if they'd be in his car, or the same car for that matter, for the whole trip to base, he'd surely bring up Pete again. And she really didn't have the energy to keep arguing with him. She didn't want to talk. He had just dropped the subject. She didn't want to give him the chance to re-open it. They walked out and she locked up the house. She was going to be gone a few days. And she was happy for it. Away from him, just with Daniel and Teal'c. They didn't press her. They accepted her decision. Why wouldn't he?

She took the medical exam and after the briefing dr. Brightman came to see Jack again. Sam was in no way unable to go off world, nor was she in any way impaired to perform her duties. Jack looked at the doctor calmly, but she could see the fury rising in him. "General… I have not yet written the report or filed any charts… she will be gone a few days and by then the bruises would have healed, partly… Can I speak off the record?" He nodded, holding her eyes. He knew what she was going to say. Something that could cost her her career and her license. "If you want to do something… I can give you the reasons. But I have to do that now, and if I do that now it'll declare her unfit for going off world."

He held her eyes. She was willing to file an exaggerated report just to give him the excuse to have Pete's ass. A glint flickered in his eyes. He could do that. He'd so love to do that. Sam would hate him, but he couldn't let this go on. Put an end to it now. But he found himself declining her offer. "Not yet. Keep that thought in mind, though." He got up from his desk and walked along side the doctor through the corridors. "SG1 has an off world mission for a couple of days. I'm going to go with them. It'll give me the chance to talk to her, press her, broken from home and this reality… maybe she'll give in and agree to something. Or just talk. We'll see what happens after we get back. Maybe it'll stop all together." Dr. Brightman walked with him and listened. She didn't entirely agree but she didn't want to declare Sam unfit for active duty either. "If nothing will change… and this happens again…" He held the doctor still. "File the report as exaggerated as you can without being obvious. I want that ass hole doing hard time." The doctor nodded her agreement and walked away. It had to end and it was not going to end with Sam taking the fall.

---------------------------------

SG1 was waiting in the Gate room for the go ahead from the control room and it wouldn't come. Apparently General O'Neill told them not to dial the gate until he was present. Sam checked her watch for the 20th time with an annoyed groan. They were 15 minutes behind time. And that was when Jack decided to walk in the gate room, adjusting his cap, all geared up and ready to go. He did have excellent timing and he did keep them waiting on purpose. Kind of reaffirming who was in charge. "Sorry kids! Ok, Walter! Dial it up! Time to have some fun!"

Sam's face dropped. He was coming with them? She refused to believe it. What did he think he was doing? Damn him, she was just looking forward to not having to deal with his pressuring for 2 days. She never though she'd actually look forward to being away from him. Always, she had craved his presence off world and even on world. The way it felt to be around him, his smile and stupid jokes. The way he acted around her, their discreet flirting, a joke, a touch, a look. The wonderful way he could make her feel just by being himself. But he didn't do that now. Not anymore. Not since she told him about Pete. He was distant and cold and hurt. And she missed him so much. Now, however, he was annoying and just frustrating. He cared for her, he loved her, she knew. But then why couldn't he respect her wishes?

"You're coming with us, Jack?" Daniel asked as they took up position to walk up the ramp.

"Yep. It's just simple research. Peaceful planet. And you so know how I love desert planets! I need to stretch my legs a bit. So why not?"

"It is good to have you with us O'Neill." Teal'c bowed his head and walked through the event horizon while Jack motioned for Sam to walk ahead of him. She just looked at him, straight in the eye, before she stepped through the gate. Oh, if looks could kill. This was going to be trouble. She knew it. He'd say something or do something, and she'd react and blow and it'll all turn ugly really fast. But she still hoped it wouldn't. She couldn't exactly tell him to be a good boy and stay home and the hell away from her.

It was a desert planet. A hot one, with lots of temples for Daniel and Teal'c to work on, with some old technology, presumably ancient, for Sam and Jack. Which she hated more. Given his gene he'd have to spend time with her around the machines. *Damn it!* She thought. *God, don't you do this off world, sir!* There was no impending danger, so she knew, realistically, there was no reason for them to stay alert and professional. All tensed up and mind on work and survival. Which was why she just knew he'd try and play friendly with her, try and get her to talk to him. Which she wasn't going to. She just hoped his training and habit would kick in and keep him mission focused. *Please, please, please…* She kept repeating.

They made camp, Teal'c and Jack putting up the tents while Daniel and Sam did the usual re-con. Better to just take another look. And better to keep herself occupied and away from Jack. Daniel was sweet to her. He understood, he respected her even now. That's all she ever wanted from Jack. Not pity, not help, not sorrow. Jack kept looking at her since she had gotten back to camp and he felt dizzy when he saw the relief on her face as she dropped her pack. She sighed pleased, but only he heard it. With the bruises on her shoulders the pack must have tortured her. He saw the extra pads she had added to the straps, but it still wasn't enough. God, he'd have given anything to walk up to her and massage her pain away, kiss it better, lick every small bruise and wound, make it all better, hold her in his arms and never, ever let her go. He looked away before she caught his hurt, loving expression and with a groan dropped his own pack.

"So… Carter… You want to have a look at the gadgets now?" He asked her and she agreed. Maybe he was going to play nice and not bring Pete up again. But he did. 20 minutes into working with her on the machines he brought it up again. She clenched her teeth and sighed, refusing to answer him, keeping her part of the conversation strictly work. But he just didn't seem to take the hint and shut up. "I've been suggested to have you see Mackenzie." He said trying another console. "See what he says. Possible denial syndrome…"

She looked at him surprised. "Are you going to do that?" He wanted her to see a shrink? Now that was just the greatest insult she had ever been submitted to. And for it to have come from him? He didn't trust her judgment anymore. He didn't think her capable of making logical decisions.

"I don't know. Doesn't seem like denial. Just your blind acceptance of it." She didn't answer him, clenching her teeth and turningback to work. "Why won't you end it? Why do you stay with him? What the hell are you doing, Carter?"

"Trying to make it work!" She finally snapped back at him. Yep. Turning ugly. Fast. "You think this was always like this? This is new. One month. Something changed, something happened. This is the man I'm going to marry sir! I'm not willing to throw away my future with him and the life we planned, just because things suddenly turned ugly.

"I'd say more than ugly…"

"For better or for worse, right sir? The rest of our lives aren't going to be as peachy and simple as our dating period was. If I bail out as soon as it gets rough… What the hell marriage would that be? We're going to work through this."

"And in the mean time you'll let him beat the crap out of you?" He asked amazed.

"I'm working on it."

"Yeah…" He snorted. "And he's working on you!"

"I'm not giving up on us!" She shouted. "We'll get through this. Whatever happened to him, we'll work through it. I won't give up!"

"So what? What the hell… This is just about pride? Determination? Something to prove to yourself? This isn't just one of your calculations that ran into a bump Colonel! This is your life!"

"I won't give up on him!" She yelled back. "I don't fail! I never fail!" She said furious, twisting some circuits and the panels came to life to mark her words. "Never!" She threw the tools down and walked away from him.

"Carter!" She didn't stop. "Carter!"

"It's late! Stay and play with them if you want. I'm tired. I'll finish in the morning. I have the circuits figured out." She didn't turn and didn't stop, just raised her voice as she walked away from him and he could hear the tears in her voice, saw her hand wipe them away. She was crying and he knew it was because of him. He hated himself as he sat on the floor of the small flight vehicle, but he couldn't leave her alone. He loved her. At least she did talk to him a little. He hoped by the end she'd open up to him completely. Willingly or forced. He sat there until it got dark and Daniel came looking for him.

"You can go to the tent now." He said. "We found bathing chambers in the temple and she's washed up and changed." Jack just nodded. "It's bad, you know…" Daniel sat next to him. "She had this cream the doc gave her to put on the wounds before sleep and she asked me to help her." Jack's eyes shot to Daniel, jealousy flaring in them. "Hey, you weren't there! Besides… she's pissed at you. But I agree with what you're doing. I'd do it too. Teal'c offered to break Pete's arms and legs and castrate him… or the Jaffa version of it anyway…"

"But we can't all gang up on her. I know. Just do what you're doing Daniel. I'm used to being the ass hole in all this."

"Jack…" Daniel sighed. "I don't know… maybe we should be the ass holes. She needs you close through this."

"I can't let it go and be passive like you are. I just won't!" Daniel nodded and they both returned to camp. Sam was already in their tent when Jack came in. He washed up himself, glad for the chance to do so after the hot day. Hee saw her quickly fumble with a light sheet to cover herself as he walked in. She was just in her bra and panties, but he knew it was because of the bruises when she didn't meet his eyes, tucking it around her shoulders tightly. He just couldn't believe her. How could she still want to marry the guy? Anger rose in him again, but he just clenched his jaw and said nothing. She deserved to be left alone before sleep. He wasn't that much of an ass-hole. He took off his clothes until he was in his boxers and got in his sleeping bag.

She didn't move, waiting for him to turn his back to her so she could get comfortable. He caught her downcast eyes and understood, turning to his side with a disgusted groan. Why did she put up with all this? She deserved so much more. Sam turned off the flashlight and once it was dark she tried to make herself comfortable. She was quiet and careful as she tossed, but he was so focused on her he heard everything loud in his ears. Her soft moan of pain as she stretched out on her bruised back, trying to find a position that didn't hurt, her whimpers and the rearranging of the sheet so it wouldn't hurt. She took the sheet because it was hot and because she could have never been able to cover herself with the heavy flap of the sleeping bag.

She was quiet and he knew it, but still he heard. His mind heard nothing but her sounds, all loud and clear in his ears. Her fast and shallow breathing at the pain, trying not to make a sound and disturb him, he even thought he could hear her pounding heart and he knew she was gripping the sheet with white knuckles. He suddenly turned to her, his eyes accusing. "Sorry sir. I'll be quiet." He didn't say anything just kept staring at her. It wasn't about the noise. But he wouldn't tell her that. She didn't actually make a sound. It was just to them that it all sounded so loud because she tried to hide it all.

It was about his anger. At her, he realized at he watched her. He was mad at her. For letting this happen when she could have ended it. She wanted this to happen. Was willing to do this just to prove something to herself. Just out of stubborn, stupid ambition. Because she never failed at anything and certainly not love. She broke the black widow curse. She wasn't going to fail at her marriage.

Jack groaned and fell back on the bag. She stayed absolutely still and he hated how she felt she had to hide from him. She didn't mind going to Daniel to help her with the cream, to expose herself before him. He had to sneak peaks at her like some pervert, to see the extent of her bruises. She had covered herself the split second he walked in. She didn't trust him, she didn't want him with her. He knew she hated him for coming along on the mission. And he was angry at her for driving him away. She forced herself to sleep, to relax, to forget the pain. She was biting her lip not to make a sound. Not a sigh not a moan. Let him sleep. Fall asleep then she could toss and turn. Stay quiet.

But he did hear. His eyes were open, hard and cold as he looked at her gripping the sheet tight, biting her lip, her eyes screwing shut and opening. Why did she want to shut him out so much? She slowly and quietly pealed off the sheet off her more and he snapped. He shot up and against her mumbled apologies for the noise he stumbled out the tent furiously. He pulled his uniform on as her went, leaving her thinking it was because of the noise she kept making and not his own raging pain and hurt at seeing her like that. He felt like screaming as he reached the vehicle they'd been working on and kicking at it hard. He grabbed his head in his hands and groaned through clenched teeth, dropping to his knees on the sand.

Sam lay there without moving a muscle, hardly even breathing, somehow in the dark of the night all rationale thought leaving her, and leaving her thinking that if she were really, really quiet like she should have been, Jack would come back to the tent and not be upset with her. Why did he leave anyway? She should have been more silent. She shouldn't have pulled the sheet off. He would have been asleep in a few minutes, she should have put up with the pain. Now he was gone and she was alone. She didn't move, didn't make a sound, waiting for him to hear how quiet she was and come back. Tears gathered in her eyes as she waited and waited and slowly they dripped down her cheeks until she started sobbing and shaking with her crying. But she didn't make a sound.

She cried for a good hour and he didn't return. She was falling asleep and the pain began to subside, from the cream she used. She should have put it on earlier. The flap lifted and she went still, pretending to be asleep. She saw him peak in and look at her before he went back outside. She hard him strip his clothes, her mind providing her with familiar images of him undressing, before he came back inside, dropping his clothes off and carefully moving to his bag so he wouldn't wake her. He lay facing her for a minute, his hand reaching out to caress her face without actually touching her, before he turned his back to her and settled in for his sleep.

Sam opened her eyes, new tears gathering at the gesture he did. Her own hand reached out to touch his back but she didn't go all the way. Just traced over his shoulders, down the arm he had over the bag, across his back. She fell asleep with her hand half outstretched to touch him, just happy she was once again falling asleep with him near her.

Morning found her alone again. He wasn't with her when she woke up and she was grateful for the privacy she needed to tend to her bruises again before putting her clothes back on. Daniel and Teal'c were around, just starting the day and she knew Jack probably woke before sunrise. "Hey Sam!" Daniel walked up to her. "Slept ok?"

"Just fine, Daniel, thanks. Where's the General?" Daniel nodded in the direction of the ship they've been working on and Sam parted with the two of them to start her own work on it. She didn't rush to it. She took her time in getting there, thoughts of the previous night going through her head. She kicked at herself for how she reacted and down right hated herself for the tears she shed when he had left her. What the hell was wrong with her? She wanted him away from her in the first place. She hated the thought of sleeping in the same tent with him.

So why did she react like that when he finally left? Because he was disgusted at her weakness, she thought. She knew. He hated her for going along with this abuse from Pete. He felt sick at seeing her bruised, he was mad at her, he was disgusted by her. That's why she cried. Because he felt pity for her and that degraded her. She didn't want his pity. Maybe she had been loud on purpose last night. To just drive him away. That had to be it. She was loud on purpose, she told herself. He was sitting on the back entrance of the ship. It looked a lot like a puddle jumper. He was just sitting there, arms resting on his knees and looking lost in thought.

She walked past him and into the ship. "Sorry I was loud last night, General." She said, trying to keep her voice sure of herself. His eyes shot at her as she passed him. Loud? "I didn't mean to disturb you." She hadn't been loud. She had been dead quiet. It was his over aware senses that picked up her every more and his imagination providing realistic visuals of the wounds that must be hurting her. She thought she was loud. "Maybe I should bunck with Teal'c or Daniel tonight." His eyes changed, but she didn't see. She was too busy with her panels. Bunk with Daniel? Jealousy surged through him again.

*Why don't you just go to Daniel and have him make it all all right for you, huh?* He thought, but screwed his eyes shut, jaw set, as he drove the ridiculous thought away. "Don't worry about it. I slept just fine." He was certainly not going to admit to anything less. "I'm surprised you managed to get any sleep. You didn't sound too comfortable back there." When she turned her eyes to him she saw Jack eyeing her bruises and she knew what he meant.

*Feeling sorry for me again?* She felt disgusted with herself. Was there nothing she could do to make him stop seeing her as a victim? She had not missed one day at work. She had not asked for medical leave. She had done nothing, absolutely nothing different. She was out on the field doing her job. But he still looked at her like 'that'. She hated pity. "I'm fine, sir. They're not bothering me."

"I'd say so." He turned to a panel himself. "Seeing as how you're not doing anything to stop it."

"Who said I'm not?"

"Are you?" He snapped at her. "'Cause it sure as hell doesn't look like it. This has been going on for one month! And he just hit you the day before! Are you Carter? Are you doing something about it?"

"Oh, forgive me, sir!" She snapped right back at him. "I didn't realize that I was on a schedule."

"Just for how fucking long are you willing to let this go on?" She glared at him and refused to answer. "Does he have you begging? Are you on you knees?" She screwed her eyes shut, blocking him out. He could be so cold and cruel when he wanted to. "Do you cry in your sleep?"

Her mind screamed in humiliation and fury. "None of your business!" She spit at him, then turning her back and moving in a corner away from him. They worked like that for some time. Each stomping and throwing things around the shuttle. Jack couldn't concentrate and make it work, if his life depended on it.

"You're not doing anything about it are you?" He finally said with a cold and disgusted voice, giving up on the panel he was trying to activate.

"Shut up, sir!" She said. "And yes I am! Just because I'm not leaving him or not calling for you to my rescue doesn't mean that I'm not doing anything."

"He's still hitting you, Carter! Doesn't look like you're doing much!"

She threw her tool down and spun around to face him. "Would it make you feel all better sir, if I just asked 'you' to take care of things for me? Is that what you want? To have you tell me what to do? To come to my rescue? You want me to leave him? You want me to do whatever 'you' think I should do? Follow your orders in my personal life like I do in the field? Shut the fuck up sir and stay out of it, 'cause you have no idea!"

"The hell I will…"

"You don't belong in my bed!" She screamed at him and he felt his heart being torn out, the air leave his lungs, mind shut down. The change in his expression, the complete and utter desolation flashing over him was something Sam didn't see. She was furious.

"Neither does he!" He screamed back. "He hits you, he does this to you…" He grabbed her wrist despite the flash of pain on her face and pointed out her bruises. "And you're still eagerly opening your legs for him?"

"Get off me!" She pulled away and pushed him away.

"Fuck Carter! Look at yourself!" He wouldn't let go and she was getting dangerously angry. "Look!"

She pushed at him hard and sudden throwing him on his back on the metal floor, with a loud, embarassing thud. "Shut up! And stay away from me!"

"No!" He didn't get to get his hands on her again that her fist impacted his face, sending him right back on the metal floor. "Shit!" He groaned checking his lip for blood.

"I don't need you! Or your concern, or your pity!"

"You need something Carter!" He got back up and grabbed her again. "'Cause you sure as hell have no idea what you're doing!" That was it. How dared he? She pushed at him and sent him two steps back, her following and pushing at him.

"Have you ever even considered that I like it?" She spit at him pushing him back hard and furious.

"Bullshit!"

"It is?" She pushed at him again and they were out of the ship. "Are you sure?" She shoved him again. "Remember how I told you it wasn't abuse?" Another push. "Didn't the doctor tell you there were no signs of rape but that they were intimate wounds?"

"Shut up!"

She shoved him again. "Oh, now you want me to shut up?" She was still pushing at him and they were nearing the nearby water source. "Don't you want me to tell you what is really going on, General?"

"The truth!"

"The one YOU want to hear? Fuck you!" She shoved him hard enough to have him stumble and fall back on his ass. But he got back up and went for her. She blocked his attempts to grab her and shoved him again. "How do you know that I don't like BDSM? How do you know that I don't want him to do this? That this isn't rough play?"

"Shut up Carter!"

"How do you know that I don't get off on this?"

"Shut up!" He yelled at her.

"You've never been in my bed General! Don't try to go there now!" He couldn't let her talk anymore. He lunged for her but she evaded and hit him again. Next thing she knew she was on the ground with him. They weren't on sand anymore. They had drifted away from sand and into mud. Wet and stick and now clinging to their clothes and skin along with their sweat from the sun and the dry sand.

"How dare you…" She hit him again, cutting off his words and he returned the favor throwing her down on the ground. "I'm not buying that shit!"

"You should!" He gripped her arms and pulled her to her feet but she kneed him in the stomach and kicked him to the ground. He pulled her with him and tried to pin her, but Sam wasn't one to be outmaneuvered. She evaded his every move and kicked at him. And he kicked back. To hell that they were commanding officer and subordinate, right now they didn't care about any of that, but just kicking the other one's ass. She was angry and frustrated, and trying to reassert her own strength and power before him, trying to stop him from thinking she was being dominated in any way. And he just wanted to dominate her and make her listen to his word. Nothing else mattered but getting the other one to submit to their decisions.

There was mud everywhere on them. He had a cut to his forehead and her broken lip re-opened, but neither was giving up. Their hair was tangled with sweat and mud and sand but they were still kicking and hitting each other. Hard. "Stay out of it!" She screamed frustrated, a right hook impacting his jaw. Jack went on his back but his legs trapped her waist and she hit the ground. He was on her the next second trying to pin her arms, and she lunged forward, her head impacting his. They rolled over and over gripping, kicking, hitting, screams of anger and frustration coming from both of them.

Daniel was the first one to find them "Teal'c!" He shouted and he ran to them and pulled Sam away and off the ground while Teal'c held Jack. "What the hell are you two doing?"

"Stay out of this!" They both shouted.

"I don't think so! Are you insane?" Daniel shook Sam. "Jack? What are you hitting each other for?" Jack removed himself from Teal'c grasp, but didn't start the fight again and Daniel released Sam. They were both glaring at each other, just wishing they could finish what they started. "What are you doing here? This wasn't just wrestling on the ground! You two would have killed each other!" And that was when they started feeling the hits each of them took as well as gave. This had been a serious fight and they were both wincing and moaning as they moved. They had seriously taken home swings at each other. "You need to get cleaned up." Daniel said, shaking his head.

They were escorted to the ruins and separate bathing chambers, Daniel with a firm grip on Sam's arm and Teal'c eyeing Jack carefully. "We moved camp inside the temple" Daniel said. "Safer from possible sand storms. We found some chambers that belonged to the priests and we've each taken one." That meant no more sleeping with Sam. They were both thankful for that. She didn't think she could stand being that close to Jack again without finishing what they started and was sure he felt the same. God, he could be one stupid ass hole. "I don't know about you two." Daniel said as they entered the temple. "But I still have work to do." He stopped in his tracks and turned to face the two officers, his finger pointed. "If I catch you doing something like that again I will personally kick both your asses!" Jack snorted and caught Sam's defying smile. "Jack!" Daniel yelled warningly.

"Ok! Ok! Jeez! Don't lose your temper!" Jack had his hands held up defeated. "Fine, ok!" Teal'c shoved him into a large bathing chamber and Daniel took Sam to another. Jack was actually surprised when Daniel just left him there without holding a whole speech about how stupidly he had reacted towards Sam. He knew that already. They had both over reacted. But this was a serious matter and if that was the only way to get her to listen then so be it. And it wasn't as if she hadn't hurt him right back. Her words more than her fist. Everything she said went through his head again and he felt insanity taking over his mind.

He submerged under water and stayed there, holding his breath, water crushing in on him so he wouldn't scream. He wouldn't scream. What had she said? Did she even know what she had said? How every word that came out of her mouth tore at him? The scream inside him grew, tears chocking him. He came out for air again and he did scream. She was lost to him. In every way, Sam was lost to him. Forever. Whatever she and Pete had going was apparently all that mattered to her. He had her in every way possible. Why else would she have gone along with this… whatever this was. She pushed him away. Over and over. Told him to shut up, to stay out of it, out of her life. Out of her bed. He didn't belong there. She screamed the words. Loud and clear. She didn't want him in any way. Ever.

He got out and toweled dry. His body was a bit sore from the fight, but he didn't care. Nothing mattered to him anymore. He threw his uniform on, repulsed by the simple thing it meant to him. And the star on his collar. Traded the love of his life for one damned star. "Stupid idiot!" He should have retired his ass right after the Zatarc incident. They could've been married by now. With a 2 year old kid even. Maybe 2 kids. He'd be a father again. But no. He had to keep on doing this. "Fucking idiot!" He picked up the rest of his stuff and headed to the sleeping chambers Daniel had pointed out. Privacy. Thank God.

Sam walked in her room and dropped her things on the floor. There was a type of bed in the middle of the room with all sorts of marble decorations on the sides. She guessed it was a bed. Could have been some sick sacrifice temple for all she knew. There was no head board, just different statues decorating the edge she guessed as the top of the bed. Satin sheets, soft pillows. All was in white and peach marble. There was something resembling a mirror, candles everywhere, torches, small fountains. It was warm and everything bathed in a soft glow, now with the fall of dark outside. God, they wasted the whole day fighting and then recuperating. They were insane!

She was insane, Sam decided as she unwrapped her wet towel. She had been lucky that her bath was close to her room and she didn't have to put on her dirty, muddy clothes back on. Just wrap her tower around and walk the short distance. Insane! How could she have done that to him? Oh, she wasn't sorry, but he was her commanding officer, for the love of God. Take a swing at him? She didn't just take a swing at him. They both got down on the ground and battled it out! Shit! As pissed as he was with her, he would probably court martial her ass as soon as they got home.

Why wouldn't he just leave her alone? Why did he have to stick his nose in her business? She would have called if she needed help. Why was he so blind as to her embarrassment regarding all this? Why didn't he care? She looked at her bruises, moving to the mirror to see her body. She was starting to look better, some were healing after one night of no new hits. She had never wanted him to see them. Never. She was ashamed and embarrassed. And she didn't want him to see her bruised and beaten. How could he still love her after seeing her body like this?

Jack liked her. She knew. The way he was stealing peaks at her. She knew. He would never look at her again after seeing her body this battered. He would no longer find her attractive, sexy, appealing. Not when she looked like this. She took a deep breath against the tears. Screw him. What did she care? Why did she care? He was her CO, why should she care? Her eyes fell shut. But God, he made her feel so good. The way he looked at her, smiled at her, flirted with her. God she did love him. And now she looked like this. And he behaved like that. They were lost to each other.

She turned away from the mirror refusing to put any more emotion into it. He didn't deserve her hurting so much for him. She fumbled in her pack for some clean clothes, something light to sleep in and threw them on the bed, taking out her medical pack to see what else the good doctor gave her for the wounds.

Jack walked to his room, his pack on one shoulder and his clothes loosely hanging around him. He didn't even know what he was thinking at. Nothing mattered anymore anyway. He stopped in front of Sam's room looking at the door and the soft light coming out through the space. It wasn't shut well. He closed his eyes and tried to walk away. He didn't care anymore anyway. He refused to care. But his hand slowly lowered his pack off his shoulder, dropping his jacket right along with it and he moved closer to the door. His eyes opened as he gently leaned against the frame and looked through the open space.

She had her back to him, leaning over the foot of the bed as she was going through the small bottles and packs the doc gave her. She was still completely naked, her hair wet and clinging to her, her long legs looking like they went on forever. His lips parted as he watched her, taking in the expanse of her back, her legs, and that sweet ass pushed right towards him. He could see her bruises, all over her body, he could actually picture the hand that hit her, he could see it all happen. His jaw clenched as his eyes refused to move from her. She was moving from one foot to the other, her body swaying before him. His eyes trailed over her ass and he could see her damp folds from where he stood, exposed to him, to his eyes, her body bent over for him to see her whole, revealing everything of her to him for the fisrt time. And Jack looked. Hungry and needing, took in ever detail of her open body, eploring every detail he could see of her pussy and sweet ass, with dark, passionate eyes.

And he lost himself. His passion flared, his desire exploded in him, shutting down his mind and all trace of reason that might have still been in him. All there was, was this woman he wanted more than the air he was breathing and that he couldn't have. The woman that was the victim of another man, one she accepted despite everything. He loved her and couldn't have. And he damned it all to hell, his soul included. He was dead anyway. He wanted her, needed her. Things were over between them, but they would be over on his terms. No one else's. He would not give up the one thing that he needed. Her. Never again.

His hand pushed the door open slowly and quietly and he walked in, locking the door behind him. He moves swiftly and quietly, sureof every move he made. She didn't hear anything as his hands fumbled quickly with the belt and buttons of his pants, releasing his raging hard dick from the far too tight confines of his pants. He sloppily and wetly licked his palm swirling the wetness around the head of his dick, repeating the motion once more as he walked up behind her.

Without one single trace of hesitation and at the same time, one hand clamped over her mouth, one gripped her hip tight and he rammed the whole length of his hard dick inside her pussy in one swift move. Hard and powerful. Sam screamed sharply in his hand, the sound muffled as piercing pain shot through her at the sudden dry stretch around his large size. She wasn't ready in any way. Before she even realized his hand had closed over her mouth, he had his dick inside her, forcing her to stretch and take him whole and she was screaming. She had no idea what even happened until her mind caught up with her pain and her reacting body. But with her scream she recognized his harsh growl as her tight, dry body pulled and clenched in protest over his own flesh.

His eyes rolled back in his head when he felt her. So tight, so dry, so deliciously spasmming around him, her muscles clutching franatically at his length, trying to accommodate his sudden, savage penetration. And she screamed so beautifully, her exploding breath hitting his palm. His hands tightened on her mouth and her hip, pulling her ass tighter to him, trying to force his way deeper. She screamed again and tried to get away from his grip. She had one hand trying to remove his hand from her mouth, the other supporting her bent body on the edge of the bed. She couldn't even formulate a proper plan of action before he started moving, thrusting into her hard and fast, almost desperately.

She couldn't remove her hand from the bed, or the power of his penetrations would cause her to fall forward on the mattress, with him over her and then she'd be completely trapped. So she supported herself like that. Bent over and opened for his cock, her other hand still trying to remove his hand from her mouth, screaming and crying in his palm at his rough thrusts. And he pounded into her fiercely. She felt his body bend over her back, his face in her hair, moving to her ear. "Oh, God… I'll be quick…" His voice was hoarse and strangled as he whispered in her ear, the fluttering of his breath over her wet skin, sending shivers right down her spine and she whimpered in his hand.

He was trembling over her, she could feel his muscles rippling, shaking, his hips thrusting into her fast and rough, despite her trying to throw him off. He wouldn't let her go and she just kept whimpering and groaning in his hand. How could he do this to her? Take such advantage of her. How could he fuck her like this? Like she was some cheep whore. Or was that how he saw her now? Whas that was she became to him? Given how nothing he did, his dick fucking her, his hands holding her ass for him, did nothing for her pleasure, but his. She screamed harder, but he didn't hear.

He slammed inside her body over and over, carrying for nothing else but the sweet powerful release her body promised him. She was getting so wet, so fast, her body clutching at his dick and he was so completely lost. He was going to come. Hard and quick. Like he promised her. It wouldn't last. And she would get nothing from him. She didn't want him anyway. He pounded into her once, mad and furious, drawing out another scream. The feel of her damp back under his chest was erotic, the smell of her hair, the feel of her skin on his cheek. "Oh, yes!" He growled in her shoulder before straightening behind her and thrusting into her erratically. He came hard.

Start flashed before his eyes, his brain going into overload, his teeth clenched against the harsh scream torn from him. His hips pumped into her trying to go as deep inside her protesting body as he could, trying to submit her completely. Sam cried out when she felt his hot come wash inside her, the reality of it truly sinking in. This was what their first time was. How many times had she fantasized about it? Feeling him come inside her? He felt hot and strong shooting his come inside her, then his semen dripping down her legs. His dick hard and big as it stretched her forcefully and fucked her. His body lean and heavy over her. His breath hot and fast in her neck, his scream primal. Yet this was their first time. Not only that she didn't come, he didn't even try to make her come. It even hurt. He mad her feel like a whore.

Tears gathered in her eyes as he fell over her back, his hands still gripping her and she stopped fighting. This what she was to him now. Some quick fuck to get his load off. Nothing more. He didn't treat her any better than Pete did. He was no better than he was. Except that he was her CO. She was angry and she was hurt and in pain. Emotionally and physically. But she clenched her teeth and waited, playing the good and obedient little service girl he transformed her into. She stayed passive until he removed his hand from her mouth and her hips and she could push him off her and straighten up. Every muscle in her body hurt, every inch of her skin hurt. Her pussy hurt and she felt their mixed juices running down her legs.

Jack fell against the wall, trying to hold himself up. He was weak after his release, still trying to get his breathing under control and his eyes to focus. He saw her shaking and rip the sheet off the bed to cover herself in it, discreetly moving her hand to wipe her inner thighs to stop the embarassing sticky drip she felt, but still holding his eyes. She was hurt. In more ways than one. She could barely hold herself up. "I hope I was good for you General. If you're done with me, sir, I'd like to be alone." He had to say something. He had to tell her something. What had he done? He was starting to hyperventilate and panic as he watched her, as the sweet satisfaction of his orgasm started to spread through him. What had he done? "Please get out, sir!" She said strongly.

He fixed his pants and buckled his belt. Why wasn't she breaking his neck? He tried to take a step towards her, bust she immediately hurried away from him, tangled up in her sheet. "Please, sir, get out. You came. Please get out, now." She pulled her sheets tighter around her. She refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing her broken. "I'd like to clean myself up." She saw his balck eyes remain lost and foggy as he turned from her and unlocked the door. He looked back at her, but she stood strong and sure, the sheet around her, without any trace of tears or hurt. Just rejection towards him. She knew that face. The same face he had on when she called him 'sir' after Jonah and Terah. And when she showed him Pete's ring. When she told him about Pete. He walked out and closed the door after him.

*This didn't happen!* Her mind screamed and she rushed to a small pool of water in a corner under the window, dipping the sheet in it and quickly and shakingly washing herself. She started sobbing, tears running down her face, but she refused to acknowledge them as she cleaned his semen from her legs and pussy, trying to lose the smell of him from her sweaty skin. She cried and furiously rubbed her skin clean. *This didn't happen. This never happened.* But she could still feel him come inside her, the warmth of his skin, his breath. He came inside her. "Never!" She told herself. "Never happened! Get a grip Carter! Never happened." She kept on washing herself furiously, but it didn't feel like it was enough. She was dipping the whole sheet in the water, rubbing it all over her, crying endlessly. He hurt her more that Pete ever had. He hurt her brutally.

Jack's knees gave in as soon as he closed her door and he crashed to the floor next to her door, slamming his head against the wall, tryig to control his reactions and not slip into a severe panic attack. What the hell had he just done? Ending it on his terms. But why the hell didn't she react? Why didn't she do anything but say 'hope I was good now get out'? Did he mean that little to her that he couldn't even get her to see him again even by raping her? Oh, God, he raped Sam.

He folded his arms on his knees, resting his head on them and trying to breathe. He couldn't breathe. He was sick. He had to throw up. He could hear her crying inside. She did see him after all. So why didn't she break his neck? She was going to lock this in another room, he was sure. How many rooms did this woman have? For the Zatarc testing, for what Pete was doing, for this. How many things could she lock away?

Jack couldn't leave her like this. He couldn't let her lock this away. She refused to deal with Pete, she had to deal with him. She had to react. She had to fight when she was being abused. Had to react. And not like she was. Alone, locking it all away. He didn't move from her door, listening to her crying desperately, knowing it was his fault. He did that to her. Not Pete. They were lost to each other. Jack knew. They were done. She'd shut him out forever. He'd see her at work, debriefing, but she would never see him again. He'd mean nothing to her but a star on a man's shoulder that she answered to. So that was how it ended for them. This was finally their end.

He looked at the door. She was still crying inside and he finally moved. Jack got up and walked to the door again. Better end it all and get it over with. She should stop crying. This time he knocked before he slowly pushed the door open. She wiped her tears fast, wrapping the warm covers of the bed around her. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, hugging her knees, the doctor's medication spread all over as she tried to find something to ease the pain. From Pete and from him. They were the same now. She looked at him and he could see the hate and cold disgust in her teary blue eyes. With a heavy sigh and a knifing pain in his chest, Jack locked the door behind him again.

---------------------------------

"Want to fuck me again, General? Getting up again so soon?" She spit the words at him. Cold and distant, without a trace of emotion. "Was I good for you? Was I tight enough for you? Dry enough?" How could he do this to her? She didn't understand why he was here again, why he looked so lost and hurt like he was the one that was raped. "Can I at least get myself wet this time?" He was breathing rapidly against the excruciating pain every word she said caused him. It cut him, twist him, pierced him. He deserved every last pain. He walked closer to where she was sitting and he could see her not reacting in anyway. Sam just didn't care anymore. She was everyone's whore now. What did she care?

He knelt on the floor in front of her, gripping her feet through the covers. "Do something!" He whispered determinate, looking straight at her, seeing her red, teary eyes. "You hate me. You're crying. Do something."

"Why should I? What does it matter? You're the General. Isn't this what you wanted?" He looked at her in disbelief. "To have me obey your word, your command. To control me in bed like you do in the field? You finally got in my bed, General. Happy? Do I fuck good?" He sat there and looked at her hard. But he would not let her lock this away.

"Not another room…" He whispered. She hated him. He could see it. "Do something, Carter!" He shouted and the next thing he knew she slapped him hard enough to send him tumbling to the floor. Jack felt the taste of blood in his mouth. That was doing something, all right.

"What do you want me to do?" She sobbed at him, gesturing widely. "Be hurt and offended? Hit you? Slap you?" She laughed shortly and bitterly. "Act like some innocent little woman that was raped? Give in to the shame and disgust?" He met her angry eyes again. "Fuck you! I don't care what you do to me anymore, sir, 'cause I don't give a fuck about you anymore. You want to rape me? Fine. Let me just spread my legs for you! I don't care anymore!" She shouted at him loud and clear and Jack could only stare at her in horror and shame.

She wiped her eyes again and Jack knew she was hurting badly despite her words. "Like I have some sort of honor to keep." She wrapped the cover tighter around her. "How could you? How could you do that to me, damn you?" She was covering as much of herself as she could in the sheets, shoulders, arms, legs, high around her neck. He moved close to her again and before he even registered it, she slapped him again. This woman wasn't holding anything back when she hit, he thought, again tasting blood. "God! How could you? You son of a bitch!"

She reached for him and her hands gripped his collar and pulled him up again to take another swing, but he griped her hands. If she hit him again he'd sure lose a tooth or something. She fought against his grip and fell of the bed and Jack took full advantage of that. He pulled her to his chest and instantly his arms went around her, holding her tight, crushing her relentlessly against him, not giving a damn about the fact that it had to hurt her skin. Just held her as tight as he could, rocking her gelntly. Sam didn't even try to fight, just hysterically gripped his shirt and hid her face in his chest. He was so hard and broad around her naked body. He could see her bruised body sobbing against him, clinging on to him and his hands suddenly started tracing her wounds, gently moving over the most recent ones, caressing every inch of bruised skin.

"Carter…" He risked loosening his hold on her and she didn't move. He gripped the covers she had around her and pulled them off the bed. "Here… Carter… you lost your blanket…" He whispered in her hair as he covered her back with the blanket, still holding her to him. She was crying again, but this time he no longer knew why. She wasn't trying to hit him anymore, in fact she was desperately clinging to him, curling closer and closer to him. He let her, he helped her, taking her in his lap, wrapping his arms over her, one in her damp hair, holding her face to his neck while she cried. He couldn't tell her 'it's ok'. Because it wasn't. He couldn't shush her. Because she had every right to cry. He had no idea what to do but hold her. Words were pathetic now. From him especially.

He bent his head to brush his face over her silky hair, then moved lower to have his face next to hers, seeking hers. His breath washing softly over her cheeks, trying to comfort her by being right there, so close to her, cheek to cheek. He could hear her soft sobs and her sighs. "I'm so ashamed…" She whispered. She wasn't seeking the comfort of his arms. She was hiding. He hugged her tighter. She could hide in him for as long as she wanted. Forever if she wanted. They would never have to move if she didn't want to. "Why did you?" She whimpered.

"Why do you?" He whispered back. "You deserve better…" But then again, he didn't give her anything better than Pete. He kissed her temple, her cheek, his lips then closing on her naked shoulder, careful not to hurt her bruises. She whimpered and clung to him tighter. She was so ashamed. And he kept on kissing her shoulder softly, and her shame rose and rose with every touch of his lips. "You deserve more…" His hands brushed her hair back from her face as she was furiously hiding in his chest. "So much more love…" Slowly he pulled the blanket to reveal more of her shoulders and his lips went back to her skin, moving over every bruise he saw. And she started crying against him, at the loving touches of his warm lips and the shame he revealed in her.

He pulled the blanket off more and she tensed, instantly, clinging to him and trying to keep herself covered. "Shhh…" He whispered, his lips trailing up her neck, forcing her head off his chest and to the side so he could have better access. She forced herself to obey and felt his tongue come into play as he licked up her jugular and kissed the bruises on her jaw. "So much more…" She sobbed at his words as he nuzzled her ear, moving to kiss the bruises over her face. Her forehead, her cheekbones, her cheeks. So sweet, so soft and protective, so loving. His lips warm and soothing, patient and slow over each and every wound. She tried to pull away from him, but he held her head to him. "Don't run…" When she felt his arms move around and under her, she whimpered and he swooped her up in his arms and placed her on the bed, pulling the cover from around her.

"Sir… no…" She whispered shaking, when he moved to stretched himself, hard and heavy, over her. He saw her quickly try to pull the blankets to cover herself, her eyes avoiding his. She was painfully ashamed of the bruises and what they stood for. Her body was not what it used to be. Flawless pale skin was now bruised and beat and she was ashamed to have him see her like that. Another man's rag doll. "Please, don't…" She sobbed between tears, but he didn't relent.

He didn't listen and his lips went back to her neck, leaving her to trying and pull the blankets over her. She managed to only half cover her body because he was now stretched over her, placing soft open mouthed kissed along her neck and jaw. He had such a soft, sure mouth as he sucked at her sensitive skin without inflicting any pain, she felt herself fall for his touches. He was warm and careful, but wet and arousing at the same time. She found herself whimpering when she felt his tongue poke out to lick at her skin, treating it to the same passion as it if was healthy skin, not bearing the marks of another man, proving her his territory. "God, sir…" She whimpered behind tears. "Please…" He was so gentle and submissive to her pleasure. "What are you doing…" She whispered, trying to understand him, what he wanted from her. She couldn't understand the sudden overwhelming tenderness engulfing her from his kisses.

He moved to her collarbones and she gripped the blanket tighter to her chest, knowing what was to come. "Oh God…" But he took his time on her collarbones, letting her hold on to the security of her blankets more. He trailed to her shoulder and then down her bent arms. She started to squirm under him, but he didn't know if it was from passion or an attempt to remove herself from under him. "General… can you stop, please…" She chocked on her tears, watching him kiss her skin, an almost worship of her, his eyes half closed, his face revealing passion and endless devotion. But she was too mortified to move and push him away. He kissed down her other arm, just as wet and soft, tracing every wound. How could Pete have done this? How could he have her and do this?

He kissed the back of each hand with as much adoration and respect he felt for her in all these years, and she felt like she would die. He kissed the white knuckles gripping the covers to her chest and then he tried to pull at the cover, but she didn't give. He kissed the top of her breast bone and his hands moved over hers, deftly uncurling her fingers from the blanket and pulling it away. She whimpered instantly and tried to move her hands over herself. He let her. That was ok. She was covering her breasts when he placed a kiss above each one, moving down her breast bone with parted lips, panting warm and heavy over her skin, feeling her shiver. She tried to cover more, but her hands were only this big. And he kissed the inner side swell of the left breast, moving patiently between her sprawled fingers, inching closer to the nipple hidden under her palm.

His breath was so hot over her skin and she was shivering with every touch of his tongue poking out to lick at her. His lips were haven on her skin. Sure, warm, molding to her so perfectly, sucking softly and carefully, but still leaving a hot, wet trail over her body. Without even her realizing it, her fingers started brushing over the side of his face as she watched him kiss the breast between her fingers, and in the process, revealing more and more of her breast, as she moved to touch his sweet, angelic face. She couldn't believe how he knew how to do this to her. Love her like this. Be so soft and gentle.

She was still covering the other breast, but her hand completely uncovered the one he was kissing. Her fingers hesitantly threaded through his short hair and moved down his neck, holding him to her, caressing his nape, unable to stop the languid caress. He was so perfect. She bit her lip, tears streaming down her face even as she minimally arched into his mouth, when he took the nipple and sucked at it. She was so ashamed even as she willingly received his lips on her breast, embarrassed at the marks her body showed to the man now caressing her body.

She wasn't fighting him and he was going to take full advantage of that. She did deserve more, a better type of love. She was better than a quick fuck. She was better than to be used a punching bag and he was going to show her just how much better. He was going to give her the soothing her body craved, love her, caress her, until he made all pain go away. He licked sloppily at her nipple and she moaned watching him with red eyes. He sucked it in his mouth and avoiding sinking his teeth in, he sucked at it hard and relentlessly until she was gasping and moaning. He parted with the nipple with a long wet suck, leaving her skin covered in his saliva. He avoided her eyes, avoided looking at her for fear he'd scare her, for fear that the reality of this would sink in. She was caught up in this and he wouldn't do anything to spoil it. All he focused on was her body and what it needed to heal her hurt.

He nuzzled her other breast under her fingers, nudging them away with the tip of his nose and the hand moved away easier that the first one, leaving him to suck and lick at her freely. And he did, his hands finally coming into play to gently hold her mound to his lips. He kissed the nipple and shortly shucked at the tip with his lips. She gasped and tried to arch a bit towards him. He didn't need more and gave in to her, slipping more of her breast in his mouth while her hands held his head to her chest, hesitantly caressing his soft cheek as he sucked at her. He gave it one last kiss before he moved to her belly. He couldn't believe it. She was bruised every where. "Am I hurting you?" He asked softly against her skin. He was afraid words would break the moment he caught her in, but he had to know.

"It stings…" She whispered honestly while he kept on kissing her. "You're heavy…" He repositioned himself between her parted thighs so he would be rested over her as little as possible and scooted lower. He nuzzled the line where thigh met torso and she squirmed more, before suddenly tensing as she watched him. His dark eyes looked at her inner thighs. Bruised. Badly. Sam tried to clamp her thighs shut and hide herself from his eyes, but he wouldn't let her. His strong hands kept her thighs parted for him. "No, no, no…" She sobbed, trying to close her legs. "Please no… don't look…" His lips fastened to the skin hard and she cried out in shock and a bit of pain, but she felt his ragged breath against her as he kissed her over and over, everywhere he could reach. Hard. Powerful. Wet kisses. He was crying while he kissed her bruises. Sobbing madly against her. Soothing the wounds Pete inflicted. Lips and tongue caressing her, his tears washing over her skin. "Sir…" She whispered, her hands brushing his hair. "Please don't cry…" But he wouldn't relent and next thing she knew his lips closed on her clit.

She arched off the bed, her head going back as he kissed her, softly sucking at it. She moaned and fell back on the pillows as he moved and kissed every inch of her pussy he could reach. He was holding her thighs parted with one hand and opening her folds for him with the other. He couldn't believe the taste of her. Strong and sweet and better than any wet, dirty fantasy he ever had. And she was wet. So wet. For him. No fantasy, no dream. Just Sam, real and right there for him. He sucked each outer lip between his lips, half kissing, half sucking them, massaging them between his strong, talented lips. He moved inwards still kissing and sucking and his tongue came out to play again, running over every inch of her, gathering her taste, playing over her, swirling over her clit, pushing and licking at every corner of her. She felt like she was going insane, her mind screaming, her body needing him.

He lazily circled her opening with the hard tip of his tongue and her hands fisted in his hair with a harsh groan. He dipped in slightly and she bucked against his face. So he did it again. And again, slowly fucking her with his tongue, deep and slow. He knew she was still fighting this, but he was imensly grateful that her body was so very wiling for him, for his penetrations. She felt her mind spin. What was going on? What were they doing here? And how on Earth could he be this good with his mouth? "Sir…" She called for him, trying to move him, but with a moan he just buried his face deeper in her. "Oh God!" It was impossible for him to be this good. Nothing ever felt as good, as sweet, as elegant as Jack O'Neill fucking her with his tongue, slowly stretching her, pushing in deep and fast now. "Sir…"

His mouth left her just seconds before she felt her orgasm begin to build and removed his T-shirt in one move. He bent over her again, his lips on her neck, behind her ear, his naked hard chest pressing against the soft swell of her breasts and sending tingles of pain and arousal through her. She squirmed, suddenly shivering at the things he was doing to her and her nipples rubbed against his chest. He sucked her earlobe in his mouth. "Don't run away … Let me..." He whispered. Oh, he was good. Learnt all her sweet spots so quick. He sucked at her pulse point and she turned her head to kiss his temple, tears gathering in her eyes again when she felt him lean into her caressing lisp with a soft happy sound. Her hands were suddenly holding his head close to her, despite the tremble in her body at her shame. She felt his hands move between them and she heard the sound of his belt buckle quickly being undone and the zipper lowered.

"Oh God…" Reality sunk in her. "General… Sir…" He was going to take this all the way, not just a little comfort make out. She felt him push his pants and boxers off his hips and release the hard length of his erection from its confines andtrapping it between their bodies, without removing his lips from her neck. What on Earth were they doing here? He was naked now, his pants thrown on the floor and he stretched himself over her, gripping her knees and moving her legs with him to wrap them around his lean hips. "Wait… sir…" He was looking at her, his body cradled by her thighs, one arm supporting him on his elbow, the other moving over her bent leg, caressing her from her hip to knee and back. She gripped his bare shoulders with her hands, trying to stop the shivering in her body, trying to hide herself under him. "This isn't possible… This can't happen, sir." She whispered, looking at him. "What are we doing here?"

His eyes held hers, ignoring the bruises so she could feel some semblance of safety and he looked straight into her eyes, calm and sensual. The broad head of his dick was nudging against her opening as he flawlessly found her entrance. "This…" He whispered back as he elegantly thrust inside her in one perfect move. She cried, her eyes closing and her hands tightening on his upper arms to keep her from fading away. "Oh dear God…" He groaned as he slipped inside her tight wet body, leaning over her more. She felt so good around his hard dick, her body sweetly quivering around his size. "Oh God…" She moved one hand to the nape of his neck, holding his head securely where it fell on her shoulder while her hips bucked against him, seeking more of his exquisite penetration. So good, so perfect. Ever inch of his smooth, hard length. So deep. So very deep. And dear God, he started moving. So slow. Pulling out most of him and slipping back in, slowly. Out, then slowly in. All of him, driving himself to the hilt inside her. Every hot, hard inch of him forcing her to stretch around him.

He pushed himself on his forearms, trying to keep himself from leaning over her bruised body. He was not going to hurt her. He would make her moan and scream and whimper and draw out sounds from her that even she didn't know she could make, but he would not hurt her. His hips moved slow and sure against her, his fingers brushing her hair aside from her face. Her head was resting against the pillows, moving from side to side, pleading with her eyes, her hands gripping his body tight, bracing herself for the powerful fuck that was coming. He was strong. She knew that. He was so strong. But he didn't move harder or faster. Sam whimpered, not knowing what to expect from him. He was gliding over her, over and over, his hips pumping into her, but he was slow and gentle. "Sir…" She finally whimpered, begging him with her eyes. What did he want from her?

'Come here…" He said and suddenly pulled her on his lap. He was sitting on the bed with her legs around his waist and his dick still inside her. She gasped and hissed at the change in the angle, his dick hitting other spots of her. God, he was so deep inside her. All of him. Her thighs spread a bit more and she pressed down on him tighter, drawing a strangle moan from him. His hand moved to her waist to help her move, while the other fisted in her hair. "Better for the bruises if I'm not over you." He kissed her neck. "Move with me…" His hips moved under her, his dick taking up the same slow penetration of her body. She whimpered. "Slow… So slow…" He whispered, kissing her shoulder. Small kisses, soft kisses and she obeyed and moved with him. "Oh… good girl." He whispered kissing her head briefly and petting her hair

They moved against each other slow and long, their soft pants and moans filling the room, her hands urging him on, running over his shoulders, down his back, trying to coax him into fucking her faster, harder. It was hurting her how much she needed him, but he wouldn't give in. Passion was boiling in both of them. She was bucking and jerking against him, her muscles fluttering around him and he was grunting softly with every thrust inside her, the muscles in his back rippling with restraint. He was holding her close to him, his head resting on her shoulder, or cheek to cheek as he held out, stayed slow and languid. So close, they were so close to orgasm and they needed to move harder, faster. She could feel her release build and she tensed in his arms, suddenly panicked. His hands gripped her waist and she moaned, thinking he'd help her ride him harder. But instead he stilled her. "What are you doing?" She gasped, looking at him.

He rested his forehead against hers, her hands running through the short sweaty hairs at the back of his head. "Relax for a while. We're not coming now."

"Sir…"

"This isn't about coming." He lunged forward and claimed her lips with his, his breathing coming in short pants across her face and she moaned in his mouth. "This is about fucking. Go with me…" He kissed her again, his tongue forcing its way in her mouth and she accepted him eagerly, sliding her own tongue right along his in his own mouth. He groaned at the change in control but he didn't resist her, receiving her tongue happily, his own mouth, tangling with hers, encouraging her to push in deeper, to move around his mouth, to do whatever she wanted. And she did. Her hand held the sides of his face while she tongued him, deep and slow, drinking the taste of him, reveling in this control of his mouth. His lips were soft and obedient against her mouth and she could feel the work in his jaw and cheeks under her palm as she tongued him deep and slow.

When their tension had faded away, the hands on her hips instructed her to move again and she did. She pulled herself off him until only the head of his dick was in and slowly slid down on him, feeling him sigh in her mouth every time. His hands moved up her back, still careful of her wounds, gently caressing and encouraging her as she rode him patiently. Soothing her, calming her desperation. She loved the stretch. She loved the depth of his cock inside her. She was so tight around him, he was reaching so deep in. Fucking her completely. And he was so calm and controlled under her, doing all of this for her, for her pleasure. His hands were soft and gentle over her, touching her skin with a care she never felt.

Sam whimpered in his mouth, strangling a sob at the sudden overwhelming feeling. He loved her in every way possible and she couldn't grasp it all. His touches, his kisses, his slow fucking. She screwed her eyes against the tears. "It's ok…" He whispered, kissing her cheek. "Don't hold back." His hand petted her hair and she didn't hold back. Her tears stung her eyes and rolled down her face.

"Oh God, sir…" She sobbed as she kept moving on him, tears rolling down her face. He was so good. So careful. She kissed his forehead as he moaned. So perfect. She kissed his temple, hugging him to her. The way he moved inside her, the way he held her and hugged her back. Like she was the most precious thing in the world. Like she was his life. She felt her body clench around his dick when he kissed her pulse point. Her orgasm was about to explode and she tensed on him, gripping at him. "No…" She whimpered, strangled by tears. He pulled away from her and watched her. She was panicked and he immediately stilled her on him. "Sir! Oh…"

"Not yet. This isn't about orgasm. Carter… you ok?" She nodded but he didn't buy it. Both times she was about to come, he felt her tense and panic. "Carter…" He ran his hands through her hair, calming her. "You ok?" She took a deep breath and nodded, her eyes sad as she held his. "Relax…" His lips closed in on hers. "You're not coming just yet. Believe me…" His lips twitched a little in a smile and she found herself whimpering at him. He didn't understand why she was tensing like that, why she was so scared of coming in his arms, but he wasn't going to press her now. She wasn't going to come just yet anyway. He'd deal with it when they got there. But right now there was so much he wanted for them.

He kissed her and she relaxed in his arms again and began to move. He felt sweat running down her back from her effort, and he couldn't believe the feel of her slick skin, but she wasn't complaining yet. He wanted her to have control at first. To know him. Learn him, trust him. Her head went back on her shoulders, supported by his hands as she moved, giving herself over completely to the feel of impaleing herself on his hard shaft. God, he was hitting every sweet spot inside her and finding new ones, he was pulling at her walls, and then he did these little twists inside her that just drove her insane. He was panting heavily as he supported her on his arms, watching her move, her muscles rippling under the skin, her soft breasts bouncing slightly with her riding him. Her hands stopped clutching him so desperately and one was now holding the back of his head while the other ran down his chest.

She pulled herself in a sitting position again and watched him closely as she racked her nails over his chest. He gasped and bit his lower lip, holding her red, teary eyes. Her fingers closed on a nipple and saw his eyes holding hers in suspense. She moved slower and twisted his nipple watching his eyes close and his head going back. God he was amazing. She pulled his exposed neck to her lips and he didn't fight as she kissed and nibbled on his neck, biting at the tendons, licking the lines of his neck, all the while rolling the nipple between her fingers. "Oh yeah…" He moaned lost. He tasted like sweat and his soap and she couldn't believe she was actually feeling the taste of him. She shuddered as she moved on him.

His hands ran down her back to her ass and she squirmed on him. She was so very wet around him, and he couldn't keep himself from felling her, sensually probing with his fingers between her ass cheeks, feeling the wetness. She was dripping around him, his cock drowned in her wet heat. His fingers moved slowly, letting her protest to his probing if she wanted to, and he felt her opening, stretched tightly around his dick, feeling her drip down on him, feeling himself as he slipped smoothly and wettly in and out of her. He groaned, rough and low, in her ear, the sound rumbling through his chest and he fastened his lips to hers in a mad kiss. She screwed her eyes shut, swallowing the tears that rose in her eyes again. She could feel her muscles starting to protest but she didn't want to stop.

His hands gripped her waist again. "Carter… Stop a little… for me…" His voice was strained and she knew he was about to blow. She stilled on him, helping him hold on for her, despite the overwhelming desire to just break him in her arms like he was now. He was breathing erratically, sweat covering his forehead and little drops running down the lines of his neck and she brushed them with her lips. "You're tired." He said, holding her against him so she could rest with him. She was panting, her breath blowing over his sweaty skin, cooling it. "Let me…" He carefully moved her on her back and he stretched over her without leaving her body. Who knew he was so acrobatic? He held himself above her, trying to press on her as little as he could and started moving again. "Lock your ankles behind me…" She did and he slipped in deeper. "Ah, God!" His head went back, his arms shaking over her. But he didn't blow and he didn't lose control. He started moving just as slow and controlled.

Sweat was running down his back, he could feel the small droplets roll down his heated skin, until her hands ran up his back, wiping them with her slender fingers. She licked his sweaty shoulder, while he glided inside her, kissed his jaw. How could this be so good? How could this be so sweet? The way he moved, the way he touched her. Nothing ever felt like this. It didn't hurt, it didn't scare her, he didn't do anything but make sweet love to her. Another sob wrecked her. Slow, gentle, careful, he was all that and more. Dear God what was he doing? "Sir…" He looked at her, a hand moving down her side to her thigh to help her leg higher on him. "Sir…" She gripped his body again. "Don't…" He kissed her temple while tears rolled down her face. "Don't!" He didn't listen to her until she sobbed madly under him and gripped his hair painfully tight. He lifted his head and looked at her. "Don't do this like you love me…"

His eyes saddened on the spot and his moves stilled. He swallowed repeatedly, pushing his own tears away as he watched her sadden in his arms. His head dropped to her shoulder and she felt her tears continue to run down her face, as she held him against her. And he cried again. For the second time he cried in her arms. His cheek was wet as he pressed it against hers when his hips started moving against hers again. Same speed, same care, same gentle moves as his body glided over hers, both sweaty and slick. He kissed her forehead and she wiped away at his bitter tears. She didn't want him to cry, her smal shaking hands drying his cheeks and sweet, loving eyes of the tears he shed because of her. "Sir, please… not like this…"

"Shhh…" He kissed her cheek sweetly, petting her hair. "Like this. You deserve so much… I gave you so little… Too little…" She wanted to protest again, sobbing under him in shame at what he had done to her, but he wouldn't let her. He kissed her hard and deep, his tongue swooping in her mouth and muffling her words. All she could do was react and tangle her own tongue with his as he took over her mouth. And he kept moving slow, driving her and himself insane. She was so wet and so willing for him, her body receiving every thrust he made eagerly, opening for him, massaging his dick, pulling and tugging at him with her tight, quivering muscles, his head nudging against all her sweet spots.

He loved the feel of her thighs hugging his waist, her knees sliding up every now and then to open herself more, or settling comfortably with her ankles locked behind him. She'd unwrap her legs every now and then and slide her calves down to his ass to press on him, coaxing him into a harder pump, or begging for a twist of his hips. "That's good… oh yes…" He moaned in a throaty voice and she loved the way he trembled over her, shivering and shaking. His arms were trembling too as he was trying hard to keep as much of himself off her. She tried to pull him over her, knowing she could ignore the pain. She was used with that. Pete didn't give her this consideration. But Jack did. He held himself above her until he was shaking. But still his cock moved slow and sweet inside her.

She was dripping down her ass, she knew they'd soaked the sheets, she could feel them wet against each other from sweat and her juices and she couldn't get enough of it. Her arms tightened on his shoulders and she pulled and pushed at him. "Let me…" She whispered as she had him on his back, straddling him. Jack fell back against the pillows spent and exhausted, letting her take over. His arms hurt, his body hurt, but as she planted her hands on either side of his face and started moving just as slow and gentle, twisting herself on him every now and then, he couldn't not reach and touch her. Her sweaty shoulders, her swaying breasts, cupping them in his hands and kneading them, pinching at her nipples. "Sir!" She moaned, thrusting her chest in his hands. "God… don't stop…" He didn't, playing with her breasts, rubbing the pad of his thumbs in circles over her tight nipples, while she rode him slow and hard.

Sam stilled now and then, for herself or for him, when it became too much, neither willing to end it yet. She bent over him and rested against him while kissing his chest and licking his nipples. He tasted so strong and intoxicating and he was so controlled and restrained with her. She couldn't believe it all. He was breathing hard under her and she waited for him to relax, her head on his chest, listening to the mad beat of his heart, before she started slipping off and back down on him. Her lips were still on his neck when he tugged at her hair. "Breast…" He breathed. "I want your breast to my mouth…" She obeyed, lifting off him and guiding her left breast to his mouth with one hand. He closed his hand over the one she held herself with and sucked greedily at her tender breast. His tongue licked and rubbed her nipple, his lips sucking so wildly at her.

He was moaning against her breast and she couldn't take her eyes off him as he sucked at her her, his lips, that hot sweet mouth on her breast, both their hands holding the mound for him to devour. Her bruised breast, but he didn't seem to care. She did and he felt her tense on him again. His eyes opened at her, slipping her breast out of his mouth. His hands cupped her face and brought her lips to his for a soft short kiss. But he could never understand her shame and she sobbed against his lips. "Isn't it like this with him?" He asked.

"No…" She sobbed. Why did she tell him? *Just fuck him!* She thought. This wasn't about love, no matter how much he made it look like it was. Just a fuck. A pity fuck, or comfort sex, whatever she wanted to call it. Sex to make up for his earlier selfish orgasm inside her. She moved on him again but he felt her anger. This wasn't about anger. His hands glided over her skin tenderly, as he took up the caress of each bruise and wound and she sobbed in frustration and hurt again. How could he worship her wounded body like this? The marks of another man on her. "Sir, stop doing this…" He didn't, just added his lips to the game, returning to her breast, and she couldn't think anymore. She didn't care anymore. She needed this, what he was doing to her. She needed to be held like this, she needed to be caressed like this. She had never felt love like this. No one had ever made love to her like this and she needed it now, despite the tears she kept crying over his skin, despite the shame she was fighting. She needed this. So much. To drive away all the shame and fear. To feel human and alive again. She didn't care what he was doing to her, or why. Didn't care if it was pity sex. She needed the love he made her feel. The way her body felt alive and complete again. The way the slamming of his dick inside her sent shivers up her pine and made her muscles twitch. She needed the passion and desire his fucking brought out in her. He rolled them to the side. "You're getting tired." He said, wiping the sweat off her brow with his lips. "Here…" He pulled her upper leg over his hip, pulling her hips to him. "Rest. I'll take care of you…"

She rested on the pillows, nestled to his chest, his hands holding her hips for his dick and all she had to do was just wrap one arm around him and let him keep on fucking her tenderly. He held her hips with one hand and held her to his chest with the other one, slipped under her. He pulled his entire length out of her, leaving her body completely and she whimpered at the empty feeling. He nudged her clit with the head before he plunged back inside her, stretching her again. She sighed a pleased little sound in his arms, burring her face in his neck, her arms holding him to her tightly. He pulled out of her again, rubbing her clit again before penetrating her again. She whimpered, thrusting her pelvis towards him, begging for him to stay within her. But he didn't. He moved out completely on every move, nudging the head against her clit and feeling her convulse in his arms before sinking his length inside her warm wet body.

"Do you still feel me?" He whispered in her ear. "You're so wet…"

"More…" He moved his hand from her hip and slipped himself out of her.

He moved his hand between her legs cupping her. "Open for me…" Sam parted her legs wider and he kissed her temple reassuring her obedience of him and wiped at her wetness with his palm. She whimpered and moaned a high pitched sound at the feel of his hand wiping her. "Come…" He gripped her hip again and moved her towards his straining cock, his hands wet on her hip. She squirmed at the feel of her own juices spread on her skin but all that mattered was having him back inside her. She gripped his hip as well and let him push the head in. She wasn't dry, just slick enough not to hurt and dry enough to pull at both their flesh and make them jerk and shudder against each other when he pushed in. She screamed in his neck, pulling his hips tighter against her. "You feel so good…" He whispered as he held her. "Are you tired?" He asked, a trace of concern in his voice.

Neither of them knew how long they'd been doing this. The only indication of time was the sheets soaked in their sweat and juices, the flame of the torches that were dieing, the pitch black night outside. "More… please… don't end it yet…" She whispered, begging him. He kissed her cheek again and kept moving inside her. "God sir…" He kept on moving for her, kissing her neck and her shoulders and she started to twitch against him, her body clamping on him. He stilled inside her, pulling her to his arms and letting her relax. But when he moved again it didn't take her long to tens up again. She was going to come, no matter if he tried to let her relax or not. He was extremely tensed himself, just about to blow any second, shuddering and shaking against her.

"Come here…" He moved her on her back and pulled her knees high around him. "Let's take care of you…" His lips closed on her nipple and his hips pumped into her hard, sharp, pressing his pubic bone on her clit on every thrust. She shook in his arms, crying out and clutching at his back with her nails digging in his skin. She felt her release tense, her body coil and burn. God, she was going to come so hard, he was fucking her so fervently, so hard, so mad. Sam tensed under him, going rigid and gripping at him, fighting her release. She sobbed and started crying desperately, clenching her teeth and trying hard not to give in. He stopped in shock at what he was seeing in her. "Carter… Oh, God…" He framed her face and kissed her lips, her teary eyes. "Carter, Carter… it's ok… shhh… come on…"

He tried to move, but her tension hadn't eased. She was going to come. "Don't hurt me, sir…" She sobbed raggedly. He tried to shush her, but she wouldn't relent, her hands trying to cover her chest, her shoulders. "Oh, God! Sir, don't hurt me…" She cried out, trying to hide from him.

"Jesus! Carter!" He stopped again. "What are you doing? I'm not going to hurt you!" She was still crying, hiding from him. "Carter…" He moved his hands under her shoulders, gently resting his weight over her and hugged her tightly to him. "Carter… Carter… Carter…" He kissed her temple and hugged her tightly, forcing her hands to wrap around him and stop trying to hide her body, using him as a shield now. "Shhhh… I will not hurt you, I swear." He hugged her tight, caressing her hair. "Ok? We'll stay like this. Nothing will ever hurt you… nothing can reach you…" He held her tight against him and moved his hips against her. From this angle his dick rubbed against her clit on each thrust and she bucked against him. "You're safe with me. Nothing will hurt you…"

Her arms and thighs clamped around him, holding him tight to her. "Please, please… don't hurt me…" She was holding him so tight he couldn't believe it. But he held her securely in his arms as he moved. He felt her tense and coil when her body spasmed around him and she cried out in his neck, shaking with sobs. He gripped her tighter to him when she finally came, screaming in his neck and convulsing insistently in his arms. She shook and jerked endlessly, crying out and moaning through clenched teeth, her tears washing down her face, wetting his neck. Her whole body trembled under him, her thighs clamping around him, her body clenching and contracting hard around his hard dick in endless waves of orgasm.

He couldn't hold back, from her body tugging at his dick and massaging him so tight and wet, her fluids drowning him and he bucked against her. "Oh, forgive me!!!" He screamed, his head falling to her shoulder and with a primal and harsh growl he jerked inside her once, slamming himself into her deep and orgasm tearing fiercely through him. He convulsed and shuddered over her, as his come washed inside her, his breath exploding loudly in her ear, with a scream. She was still clinging to him and he to her as they trembled in each others arms until they nearly passed out.

Jack was sagged over her, pressing her into the mattress, heavy and hard, limiting her breathing, but she was still clutching with her hands at him, trying to hide in him. He couldn't think. All he knew was that he was complete and fulfilled. Her sob penetrated his brain and forced him to focus. "Carter…" He whispered, trying to pull off her, but she didn't let him. "Shhh…" He loosened his hold and kissed her lips, her cheeks. "Look at me…" He brushed her sweaty hair off her face and she finally opened her eyes, tears falling down her cheeks. "I will not hurt you. It's ok." She drew a long breath, the last tremors of her release running through her. "Let's get you comfortable, ok? Carter?" She bit her lip and nodded.

He didn't hurt her, but he was now pulling off her and she felt scared again. She was so weak, in the aftermath of her strong release, so weak and vulnerable. He was barely off her that she pulled him back down to her. "Ok, ok, I'm not going anywhere." He spooned her tightly to him, draping himself over her, arm around her chest, tangled with hers, legs tangled as well. He managed to leave her long enough to pull some dry sheets under them and the covers over their sweaty bodies before wrapping her in his arms. She was shivering, pressing closer to him. "Carter… God…Shhh, I swear nothing will hurt you…" He started rocking with her slowly, trying to ease her soundless crying. "Shhh… I'm here… Shhh…"

She calmed and threaded her fingers with his over her quivering belly. He couldn't tell if it was from the cold, the aftershocks or the fear. "Do you want to leave now?" She asked calmly, like it was the most natural thing in the world. "It's ok, you don't have to stay…" He pulled himself up over her shoulder to look at her. She had her face half buried in the pillow.

"You… don't want me to stay…" He said. That had to be the cruelest thing she could do to him. He didn't dare move.

She sobbed. "You don't have to. It's ok if you want to leave, sir. I understand. Wanting to get cleaned up, dress, sleep in your own bed. It's ok, sir. I understand. Really." Jack couldn't believe her words, nor the serenity she said them with. Her fingers released his hand and she wasn't pressing herself to him anymore, allowing him all the freedom to remove himself from her bed and leave her like she had been nothing but some cheep fuck.

"Maybe I like the way I feel now. Shower can wait for morning." She turned to look at him with red swollen eyes. "And that's not my bed anyway. Just some old deserted alien bed, if it is a bed, which by the way I find quite creepy. I like it here better."

"Do you?" She whispered.

"Christ Carter!" He tried to turn her to him completely but she resisted, turning to her side, her back to him and curled with her knees to her chest. "What is going on with you? One second you're beating the crap out of me and now you're…" He was so going to say something stupid. It was obvious to anyone he was. So he stopped and with a defeated groan he just spooned himself to her again, his arms going around her, careful of her bruises. The last thing he wanted was to embarrass her further. She was weak now. Who wouldn't be? He was too. They had been fucking for hours, they both came hard enough to leave them weak for days. It was ok if she was weak.

Her muscles were sore as she held herself completely still. He was pressed behind her tightly, his chest against her back, rubbing tantalizingly against her with his breathing. His sweat was drying on his skin and she regretted it in a way. She liked him slick with sweat from the exertion of pounding into her. She liked the taste of it. Her tongue poked out to lick her lips. She could still fell it, salty and strong against her lips. He body hurt. He had been so gentle with her, so careful, but the bruises were tender and now they were protesting to him having moved over her, against her, his skin rubbing over hers, his hands touching her, his lips kissing her. And he touched and kissed every bruised inch of her.

But this time she didn't move, didn't even breathe too deep. She was not going to be loud like she had been the previous night and drive him away. He was staying with her. She was enjoying, as much as she could enjoy, the warm fuzzy feeling of a great orgasm and she had Jack's strong, warm body pressed tightly to her and cradling her in his arms. She wasn't alone, cold and hurting like Pete was leaving her. She didn't feel like a cheep fuck and a punching bag and this felt right and beautiful. Jack was so warm and perfect, he gave her, he was giving her everything she needed before she even realized she needed it. She had never been treated like this. She didn't even think it existed for real with a man, except in her mind. When he had fucked her savagely before, she had known for sure it never existed and all the sexual fantasies she had about this man were as wrong as they had been about Pete.

But they were not. He was a dream come true. Her shoulders started shaking and Sam tensed. She was moving. And he wasn't asleep yet, as she judged by his still ragged breathing against the nape of her neck. And she was moving, and he'd get mad that he couldn't sleep and he'd leave. She tried to still, but more tears just chocked her at the thought of being alone. She bit her lips almost to blood against the whimpers and sobs. "Carter?" He breathed her name. He didn't sleep. Just watched her naked in his arms, cuddled under the blankets with him. His soft dick nestled between the cheeks of her ass, her belly under his hand, the back of her neck right there for him to just bend down and do to it whatever he wanted. "Carter?"

"I'm quiet, I'm quiet…" She sobbed raggedly. "Not a sound, I promise."

"Fuck…" He moved and she whimpered and sobbed as she thought he was moving to leave. But he didn't. Jack just propped himself on his elbow so he could look at her face over her shoulder and still press her tightly to him. "It's ok! You're not loud. I don't care if you are… I'd love it if you were…" She was still biting her lips and he did give in to the lure of her neck and nuzzled it, while his fingers brushed her lips coaxing her into releasing them. "Carter… I don't know what's going on with you…" He kissed the back of her neck. "But I will be anything you need me to be."

"Why did you rape me, sir?" She chanced the question and felt him go rigid against her.

"I have lost you, didn't I Carter? After our fight, everything you said, everything I said." his hand brushed her hair. "We're through, aren't we? We both know that. You're going through something you're asking me to stay out of, I don't want that, I won't. We've just wrecked our friendship over this. I saw you… like that… naked… You weren't going to hate me more than you already were and I was not going to let you go without ever having felt you." His hand tightened in her hair and turned her face to him. "I wanted to know your body. Pete is doing this to you…" He said, his other hand gripping her bruised thigh and squeezing until she moaned. "And you're accepting it. Going along with it. All I ever wanted was you and now that we were through, what point was there in trying to make you love me? I was not going to let you deny me the one thing I wanted most on this world any longer."

"And this…" She asked, completely submissive to his harsh grip on her.

His hands relaxed on her and his head dropped back to the pillow. "This… this is what I always wanted with you. I had hurt you. I did hurt you, didn't I?" She nodded. "God… That was never what I wanted from you and no matter how much I tried to pretend I didn't care, I did. I don't know what you have with Pete… but you were never going to leave me without knowing just how good it can be. Can you honestly tell me he loves you like this Carter?" She shook her head. "Too bad. Because this is what you should have. Every time, every night…"

She sobbed desperately against him and he tightened his arms around her. "He hits me…" She sobbed.

"I know."

"No, you don't…" She covered her face with her hands and he looked at her face again, propping himself on his arms above her. "He hits me when I come." Her voice was shaking and weak and his strangled growl scared her. He pushed himself off her and away, sitting on the bed and looking at her in shock. She reacted instantly, pulling herself in a sitting position and fumbling desperately with the covers to hide her wounded body from him. Like he hadn't learnt each inch of her with his tongue. She was wiping away her tears at the same time, attempting at keeping some dignity in this. "How else…" She couldn't even look at him. "How else do you think he could get through with his hits? I'm level 3 in hand to hand combat, sir. You think I can't take him? He hits me the only time I am weak and unable to defend myself, when I come." She risked a look at his face and her shame just rose to new levels.

He was as white as she had ever seen him, the moonlight not helping him much, his eyes were cold and animalic as he looked at her in complete and utter shock and repulsion. But he had been right. They were through anyway. So what did she care? She stopped caring hours ago. "Something changed for us as the wedding came closer and closer. I stopped being responsive to him, he couldn't get me off anymore. So one time he just lost it and fucked me so hard and raw until I came just from the pain of it. And that was when he hit me the first time. While I was coming and crying. And he kept hitting me." She saw his jaw work, his hands balled into fists and she was sure he'd draw blood from his palm with his nails. What did she care? "After that… in the morning he tried to make it all better and he's sweet and loving with me, better than he ever was, but in bed he loses it. I tried, we both did, to work through it, to regain my responsiveness to him, to make it like it used to be but it just doesn't happen."

'Leave him