Title: Show Me

Author: Telkena telkena@yahoo.com

Rating: 17+ Sam & Jack (implied Sam and Janet for past events) SEE WARNING.

Summary: Jack finds out about some insecurities and fears in Sam's life and they both have to struggle through them if they'll ever be together.

Spoilers: Metamorphosis, Grace, Fallout, Heroes part 2

Archive: SJD yes, anyone who wants it, take it.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Feedback: say what you got to say.

Author's Notes: Basically the fic is a variation for Virgin Sam. Not much of a plot, just a whole lot of sex… This was written as a request for Sally Murphy. I hope that after our many discussions this comes close to what she had in mind. And I certainly hope I got the sex scenes right. Hope you like it girl! Also, many thanks to Alex who let me use her experience to give some logic to the story line.

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WARNING: The basis for the angst in this story is that after certain events in the SG years Sam and Janet were together. This story is SAM&JACK FOCUSED and does NOT contain slash scenes. Janet does not even show up in the story, and everything relating to her and Sam is revealed from S&J arguments and discussions. If you are offended or dislike the idea of Sam & Janet having been together, do not read this story.

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The iris closed behind SG1 with General Hammond welcoming them home. “Infirmary and debriefing people.” He said loud and clear over the speakers and Jack stomped down the ramp with fast, sure steps. One more mission over and Sam sighed relieved at the thought of going to her own home for the night. The mission had been a breeze this time, for a change. The only thing that had worn Sam out beyond belief had been Jack’s pissed off attitude throughout the whole 5 days they had been off-world. He was grumpy, snapped at her, didn’t exchange any other words with her other than those pertinent to the mission and unlike other time when they slept out in the open air, he didn’t put his sleeping bag next to hers, but on the exact opposite side, as far as he could. He was avoiding her on purpose and whatever it was bothering him, Sam didn’t need her PhD to figure out it had to do with her.

He had been like this for a longer time that the mission, but she didn’t pay attention to it thinking it was something personal. Seeing him on the planet, broken form this world and seeing how relaxed and normal he was with Jonas and Teal’c and how cold and distant he was with her, solved Sam’s puzzle. Jack was mad at her. Professionally he didn’t treat her any differently. But he was no longer the friend she knew. Just a cold bitter CO. And that was telling her it was serious. She had no idea what she had done or how to get him to talk. Because every time she had tried he brushed her off or shortly told her to stay mission focused.

Sam saw him stump his way down to the infirmary and she and the boys followed. Jonas and Teal’c had no clue as to what was up with him any more than she did. He simply didn’t talk about it. With anybody. But Sam was not going to let it at that. If she had done something wrong, if she had upset him somehow she at least deserved to know what it was if she couldn’t make it up to him. “Sir.” She shouted behind him, trying to catch up. “Colonel!” He just sped up as much as he could without actually running away from her and towards the security of the Infirmary, a word he never thought he’d associate with that place. Running away from his 2IC would have been downright embarrassing. “Sir, will you wait?”

She finally caught up with him after running the last few step separating them and grabbed his arm, turning him around. He cursed and swore as badly as he knew how inside himself and put on his usual indifferent look. “Oh, I’m sorry, Carter. You have something to tell me?”

She released his hand and he continued on his way with her by his side. Now there really was no way to run from her, except by actually running. And Jack was seriously starting to consider that as a viable option. There was nothing shameful in running from a woman. “Yes, sir, I wanted to talk to you. Colonel, have I done something wrong or to upset you in anyway?”

“No.” He said short and cold and Sam thought she could actually hear his temper snap. Still, she pushed.

“Sir, the way you’ve treated me the last days says that I did and…”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Major.” He stopped dead in his tracks and Sam had to back up two steps to be by his side again. “Are you bringing to my attention that I’ve mistreated you in the field?”

“No!” She said shocked. “Sir, you’d never do that.” He nodded and walked on without another word. “Colonel!” He cursed again. She was still on it. He could run faster than she could. Couldn’t he? “You’re mad at me and I want to know why. Sir…” She stopped him again, just a few steps from the infirmary, and Jack’s eyes looked longingly towards the door. “I deserve to know what I did, if there’s any hope to solve this…”

“Yeah, sure… Of course you do.” He said avoiding her eyes and she was close to blowing her own fuse. He could be such an ass. “Sorry Carter, but we got a briefing to go to.” He brushed past her and walked in the Infirmary, sighing pleased when he was in the company of more people and therefore not able to have the meaningful conversation Sam was trying to have. She followed him in and saw him hop on a bed and wait patiently for his examination. She took the one next to him, but she knew there was no hope in talking to him, here most of all. He didn’t even look at her, didn’t make any of his stupid jokes, fiddle with the equipment, complain, be annoying so he’d get out faster. Just stayed calm and deep in his thoughts until he was done.

The moment he was cleared, Jack hoped down from the bed and was out of the room the next second, leaving Sam gritting her teeth in frustration. He was pissed and he was pissed big time. And she had no hope of even trying to mend things if he didn’t tell her what was wrong. The briefing went along fast and smooth with each saying what they had to say and with Jack demonstrating a new and fascinating ability to focus and be extremely to the point and efficient in his report. Jonas and Teal’c exchanged looks and glanced towards Sam who they saw just as confused. They knew Jack was upset with her. That much they had caught on, but he wouldn’t talk to them anymore than he’d talk to her and Sam had asked then to let him be. She didn’t want him to get pissed with the guys too. Whatever this was was between them.

The moment Hammond was midway through saying ‘dismissed’ Jack was already up and walking out of the room. Sam sighed defeated and gathered her papers, smiling appreciating in Jonas’ and Teal’c’s direction for their unspoken support. And to make things worse for her, Sam wasn’t able to go home that night. Her work had kept her on base long enough that going home at that hour would have been pointless. So she decided to have some dinner and crash in her quarters on base. She was looking over some papers when she saw Jack walk in and pick up a tray to get some food. The mess hall was empty and she knew that this time, whether he liked it or not he’d have to talk to her. But she underestimated Jack O’Neill’s current ignorance of her and she watched in shock as he sat down alone, at a table as far from her as he could. There was no one else there, she knew he had seen her and still he didn’t even say a word as he kept the biggest distance possible.

That did it. Sam sat up confident and walked to his table, seeing him tense slightly. Again Jack cursed when he saw her approach, but kept his attention on his food. “And you say you’re not mad at me, sir?” She said standing right in front of him, hands on her hips. He looked up slowly and indifferent of her underlying anger.

“I saw you had work.”

“And you couldn’t even say a hello?”

“Carter, just what the hell is it that you want from me?” Her eyes went wide. “Be all touchy touchy? You forget, Major that we are still commanding officer and subordinate. You wouldn’t want us to break any non-frat rules would you?”

“So after 6 years you suddenly decide we can’t even be friends?”

“No Major, I just didn’t want our latest closeness to make you uncomfortable seeing as how you have no interest in us.”

She didn’t know what to make of it anymore. “What?”

“Carter, I haven’t mistreated you as an officer and I assure you I won’t. So how about you cut this crap about our larger than life friendship and hidden romance feelings. Ok?” He threw his fork down, stood up and rounded the table to walk away. “We both know it’s a lot of bull. See you in the morning Major.” He brushed past her and towards the door leaving Sam shocked and chocking back bitter tears, her mind racing to try and understand what she could have possibly done. She drew a couple of calming breaths, forced her tears back and ran after him down the corridors. She wasn’t letting this go.

“Colonel!” She saw his step falter a second, no doubt taken by surprise by her insistence, before he kept on walking. “What the hell is going on?” She reached his side and walked with him. “Sir! I deserve to know!”

He stopped suddenly again, having her almost bump into him when he spun towards her, eyes blazing and anger that close to consuming him. “I know about you and Janet, ok?” His anger surfaced a bit more and she saw his hands fist and shake. “And you’ll have to understand why after 6 years of thinking I’ve won your trust and 2 years of thinking that we…” He raised his hands as if trying to grasp something out of thin air, some sense of control, “Fucking hell, I was such a fucking idiot and you… you just let me play along, so forgive me Major if I’m a bit pissed to find out accidentally that whatever feelings we had… or better said, I thought we had, were nothing more than a fucking lie!” Jack saw her face turn white as a sheet and for a brief moment he actually thought she’d faint right there and then. He saw her start to shake minimally but she stood her ground, face white, breathing shallow and eyes panicked. He turned and walked away shouting over his shoulder. “Don’t worry, your secret ends with me. End of s
tory, Major.”

Sam watched in utter horror as he walked away from her with a quick, angry step. She couldn’t breathe and once the complete shock started to subside and the reality of his words to sink in she felt blood rush to her face and panic overtake her. He knew. Her CO knew. The first man she had found herself loving in God only knew how long, knew about the fact that she had turned to someone else for a moment of comfort. And not just to anyone. The base CMO. A woman. Her legs suddenly became too weak to support her and she fell against the wall, trying to get her mind to work, make sense of it all. What exactly did he know? How did he know? Maybe he didn’t even know the truth. He couldn’t know, Sam refused to believe he did.

With her breathing heavy she forced herself to move along the halls trying to look as calm as possible until she found him. She felt like everyone she passed knew. Felt like it was all over the base now. And she found she didn’t care. Because the only thing that she did care about was Colonel O’Neill. That he was the one who was upset with her and disappointed, her mind absurdly provided, and hurt and heartbroken and betrayed and all things that he didn’t deserve from her. He wasn’t in his quarters and when Sam looked for him in the locker-room she was told he had changed clothes and gone home for the night.

She had to talk to him. She couldn’t let this be. But it was already late in the night and whatever was left of Sam’s logic told her to let it be for now. Maybe that now that things were in the open between them and after a night’s sleep they’d be able to sit down and talk about it all. Maybe she’d have the chance to explain things to him, make him believe that what they had built over the years was still very much real and that the feelings the Zatarc machine revealed were real as well. Sam returned to her quarters, tired and broken, shed her clothes and crawled in her bed with the sting of the first tears of the many that would follow through the night. Jack was never supposed to know. She was supposed to have worked through her own issues and figure things out for them without him ever knowing. But he did.

Sam had been wrong when she thought things would only change for the better. Throughout the next day on base Jack avoided her with a passion and she only changed a couple of words with him in the presence of Jonas and Teal’c before he excused himself and left quickly. Their puzzled look told her he had kept his word and that what he knew ended with him. She knew to take his word on that, but didn’t make her pain easier, knowing she had lost a man that meant the most to her after her father. A man she did love when she thought that impossible.

When SG1 was put on leave Sam found herself even more separated from him. He didn’t call her, didn’t answer her calls on his cell or his home phone and she hated the day he got a caller ID because she knew he was avoiding her. Jonas and Teal’c had both been able to get a hold of him. So she decided it was time for more drastic measures. This was starting to get ugly and she refused to think she would ever lose him. She couldn’t lose him. Ever.

It was early in the evening when Sam decided she had to take things the next step. She had been pacing her living room the whole day, barely ate anything, she couldn’t even sleep properly at nights. The pain she had seen on his face, the anger and hurt cut right through her. And the fact that he decided how things were to be for them from now on because of this, without even taking the time or interest in talking to her for even 5 minutes hurt her even more. If she could only make him understand her, her fears, the choices she made. And the fact that despite it all, she could not lose him. After 10 minutes of staring at her car keys Sam finally grabbed them off the coffee table, grabbed her jacket and walked out.

It was the tenth phone call he had dodged from her that day. Jack wasn’t used to check the caller ID, just picked up and talked. And he really felt like an ass for doing it to Sam, but he knew he couldn’t talk to her, about anything not necessarily this new issue, without blowing. He had already lost his temper more than he wanted in the hallway at the SGC, he didn’t wasn’t to temp fate a second time. It hurt him so viciously to let it all out to actually deal with it, even for a second, than running away from it did. He loved her, he had loved her so much for the past 2 years and he had done everything possible to show her that without actually saying the words or getting her flowers and candy.

And not once had she taken pity at least, on him to tell him she wasn’t interested in him. Nothing, nothing she did let him know that and she just played him along. Just let him live a lie. And that infuriated him. That he had spent 2 years loving a lie. Living one. He poured another glass of scotch and downed it. He had the next day off to sleep the hang over he decided to work towards getting. And then he saw a car’s flashlights hit his window, heard a car pull up in his driveway and for a second he wondered if he could move fast enough to kill the lights and pretend not to be home. *Fucking pathetic O’Neill!* He thought and waited.

There was a knock. And then another. And he waited. And waited. Until finally he moved slowly towards the door and the still patient knock and opened. He knew who he’d find there and he knew he’d get pissed on the spot and he did. Sam had this totally innocent look on her face as she stood there, arms wrapped around her and waited for him to answer. She looked up at him like she was the one that was lost and suddenly found her world turned up side down and he gritted his teeth. “Sir, please, just 5 minutes to talk.”

“What about?” He said standing there still and taking another sip of his glass. He saw her eyes dart to the amber liquid and then to him. He saw her think for a minute and he waited.

“I can’t do this with you drunk.” She said and turned away to walk back to her car.

“Convenient excuse isn’t it, Carter? I’m not drunk… yet. You just can’t do this period.”

“You’re the one who wouldn’t even take the time to say hello to me anymore.” She threw back.

“Why should I?” She looked at him like she couldn’t figure him out anymore. “2 years Carter. 2 fucking long years. Not once, once, one single time, one word, one gesture, not once have you taken the time, spared the thought of putting me out of my misery and tell me that you simply didn’t care about me that way. That…” He gestured widely. “Whatever feelings the Zatarc thing revealed, were… unreal, a lie, a fluke.” His eyes burned with anger as he stared at her in his driveway. “2 years. You know what that means?”

“Yeah… maybe I do.” She said in a weak tears chocked voice. “Why did you suddenly decide it was a fluke?” He laughed bitterly, looking in his glass and she found that sound the most wrenching thing in the world. “It was real. God, sir, it still is!” He raised an eyebrow at her. “I never lied to you. I do love you and it’s killing me because I can’t make sense of it and I don’t know what to do with it or about it and it’s so real and so strong…”

“Oh give me a break Carter!” He cut in suddenly. “And Janet? What is that?”

“How the hell did you even find out?”

“Overheard you two accidentally at O’Malley’s when I was meeting the guys.” Her hands covered her face in shame. “Don’t worry, there weren’t any details, or if there were I left before those.” He looked at the ground and clenched his teeth. “It’s over Carter. Just forget it!”

“I do love you…” She said, holding his eyes. “Sir please, you don’t know the story. I’m not in love with Janet… That was just… ” She knew she was babbling and she saw him wave her words away, but she knew one thing. She had to keep talking. “You don’t understand, let me explain…”

“Explain what?” He took a step towards her in the night, his voice shaking with restrained anger. “How you love me so damn much, but God forbid that you should do anything about it, or let me do something about it. God forbid…” He shouted at her. “That you should take a small risk maybe even once in a while to tell me a word or spare me something that would make my nights easier! You can’t take the risk of the smallest form of a love affair with your CO whom you say you love, but you have no problem, what so ever, doing this with the female CMO who you say you aren’t even in love with.” She ran her hands through her hair. “Yeah, heck of a love you have for me Carter.”

“That’s not how it was!” She heard him snort a bitter laugh and she shouted at him as he was walking back towards the door. “Why won’t you even listen to me?” Jack turned slowly and looked at her. “How am I supposed to believe it would have been any different if I told you about this years ago when… I try to talk to you… the biggest talk I’ve had in my life and…” She pointes around lost. “And we’re having that talk in your drive way because you can’t even look at me!”

He turned casually, a hand in his pocket and one on the glass and stared at her. “I thought you were leaving Carter…” If that wasn’t a hint, Sam didn’t know what was. Her arms fell by her side and she looked at him.

“Just like that? I don’t even deserve 5 minutes?”

Again he lost his temper and his voice rose. “You… you took ‘the’ risk Carter, in a place you say there’s no love! 5 minutes for what?” Sam swore he could actually hurt her if her was within range, as outrageous as the thought sounded. “So you can tell me what Carter? How I wasn’t worth the smaller risk? You could have at least told me you’ve made another choice. I wasn’t even worth that much.”

He was about to walk back inside when Sam just burst. “You’re the reason I turned to her!” And that got his attention. But it also pissed him off more.

“How dare you…”

“You were never there when I needed you, you weren’t able to be there for me because you were the one that needed people to be there for you.”

“Oh, don’t you dare pin this on me!” He said, a real threat obvious in his voice.

“Yes! I am!” She said her own temper flaring just a bit. “I watched you hurt, shot, MIA, near death, presumed dead, time after time after time and I was going insane! I needed you so badly, sir, to be there for me when I felt like my whole world was crumbling watching you slip away. I needed you to tell me it’s ok, I needed you to be my strength! But how the hell could I expect you to give me that when I was the one who was supposed to be there for you?” His jaw clenched and hands turned into fists as he watched her spill all that out in one breath. “I was hurt too… and I needed you… needed comfort and security and…”

“You went to Janet.” He offered before she even said the next word. “End of story Carter.”

“Because I didn’t know how to come to you!” She shouted. “I never did, I never knew how, and I didn’t even know how to start explaining things, how to make you understand… and Janet… she’s my best friend sir, she knew and she didn’t need explanations, she was just there… It was just something I needed and she agreed to be there for me. No matter how much I wanted to, sir… I didn’t know how to come to you…”

“You didn’t even try!” He threw back. “Forget you knowing how or not. Did you think you’d do it alone? Carter, you didn’t even try to take a first step and see if I could meet you half way! You. Didn’t. Even. Try.” He saw her jaw clench against frustration and pain and in a perverted way he felt glad for it. That she was going through what he was. “So fucking forgive me for not wanting to hear 2 years later how Janet was the better choice.”

“She wasn’t!” She said taking a step towards him, but he was already turning away to walk inside. “Sir!” She was prepared to beg if that was what it took.

He stopped in the doorway and looked at her. “You made a choice Carter. I don’t want to know the why or how, because after so long it really doesn’t matter and it really doesn’t make much of a difference. Good night, Major.”

“It would make a difference if you knew…”

“Carter!” She stopped mid sentence at his cold harsh tone. His face looked like it was cold stone and she could have sworn there was no life in his eyes. “Don’t make me shut the door in your face, but I will. Good night. Major.” She couldn’t move because she didn’t know what to do. He wouldn’t let her talk and he would throw everything she said back in her face, remind her over and over again how she caused him to lose 2 years of his life loving her, while she was with someone else. But still she knew that if she walked away now it would be the end for them.

He held her eyes, hand squeezing the door knob until he felt his fingers go numb from the pressure, waiting for her to turn and leave. Praying that she would. But there she stood, hands clasped together, trying hard not to cry and begging him with her eyes to try and find some shred of friendship for her to let her talk to him. There was more to this story than met the eye, and Jack knew that, but the ignorance she had treated him with over the years left his wounded soul room for no understanding towards her and her reasons. If he hadn’t been worth a kind word to save him the heart ache why should she be?

Sam watched in shock as without a trace of hesitation or regret he stepped fully inside and leaving her standing in his driveway he shut and locked the door. Her mouth parted to draw better breath, while her eyes blinked rapidly to clear the tears clouding her vision. She couldn’t control herself anymore. The slight chill of things seemed worse than the Antarctica cold and she felt like she would live nothing more from now on than this moment when he left her standing here, heart in her hand. She couldn’t feel the tears running down her face but somehow Sam knew she was crying and didn’t know if she should try to stop or not. Maybe tears would make him open the door again. Maybe if she was in pain he’d find retribution and then listen to her.

She could see him through the windows as he walked in his living room and stopped in the middle of the room like he didn’t know what to do now. The pain edged on his face chocked her and she watched as he sat on the coffee table and stared in empty space. Whatever was going through his head was lost to her. All she could see was his jaw clenching and unclenching, until he looked back at the glass in his hand. He downed the last drop of scotch with a bitter look on his face and stood up, walking determinately to the bottle and refilled the glass.

He had been a total and complete ass and Jack knew it. He knew it while he was being it and couldn’t stop. Didn’t want to stop. Was outraged that she’d think that she could play him like this and then expect him to listen to whatever logic she had for her actions and that would make things better. He couldn’t believe that she’d expect him to be that opened to her and receptive and objective after what she did. He would have happily lived the rest of his life loving her from a distance, deluded that she was feeling the same, happy that she at least returned the feeling if not did anything about it, respecting her career choice. When in fact not only that she didn’t love him, she was happily involved with another.

He downed the glass in one move determined to get thoroughly drunk in the shortest time possible. Maybe that way Jack hoped he’ll forget her face as she stood there in his drive way and tried over and over again to get him to listen. She was so broken and opened, she had come here driven by the friendship they had built over the years, to save that friendship. He accused her of ignorance and treated her the same. God, he had been a major ass to crush her like he did. Jack downed another glass and looked at the empty bottom.

He loved her. Stupid, pathetic man, he still loved her beyond belief. If it wasn’t for his bruised and battered soul that demanded satisfaction, if this had been any other night, seeing Sam like she looked tonight, with teary eyes and slumped shoulders coming to him, he would have wrapped her in his arms and held her, rocked her, shushed her fears and worries and promised her the moon and the stars to let her know everything was all right with the world and she was ok and safe. Even tonight, even with his blind fury his arms burned for her, his mind screamed in outrage at him about what a fucking idiot he was, but his heart swell with the joy of seeing her as hurt and lost as he was.

She had so much will and drive to do this, to talk, to explain, the CO part of him felt proud of her. But he couldn’t listen, Sam had been right, he couldn’t even look at her without being blinded by anger. Now, standing alone in the quiet living room with the alcohol pleasantly buzzing his nerves and his temper cooling Jack saw the situation in a completely new light. He should have listened, he realized as he damned himself to hell and poured another glass and took a sit on the sofa. He knew, always had known that this situation was so much more complicated than it looked. Even as he had first heard about it and felt his whole world being crushed to pieces, the only thing his mind screamed was ‘what is going on’.

It was being face to face with her, talking to her that made him lose it. It was seeing that sweet, angelic face that hunted his dreams for years and knowing what she had done to him, that he couldn’t stand. She unleashed his fury. At her, at what she meant to him, at what they were supposed to be to each other and at himself for having allowed himself to fall so much, so mindless for her. He was mad that the simple sight of a woman that had betrayed him in such a way was still enough to make his heart jump in his throat and his body to cry out for her.

He held his head in his hands, elbows on his knees, trying to stop the pounding head ache. He didn’t want to lose her, not even now and that too he hated. He should have listened. And if Jack had any hope to ever sleep at night again he had to know. Everything. From top to bottom. And maybe he didn’t have to lose her at all. He drew a deep breath and exhaled slowly. God he had been such an ass. He had to find a way to sit down with her and talk this through. He had to know. She had said so many things to night without actually saying anything.

Sam told him she loved him, for the first time in 2 years she had said it again and he didn’t even hear. He prayed for these words from her so hard and so long and now they passed right through him. She said she did this because of him. That she didn’t love Janet. And Jack groaned when his head pounded with a fierce headache. What was she trying to do to him? “Fuck, O’Neill! You idiot!” He should have listened, and now he really didn’t think she’d try to do this again. Not after how he shut the door in her face and left her standing on his front porch in the night. And he was definitely an ass hole too proud to go to her.

To his utter shock he heard the side door to her car slam shut and in an instant he realized Sam had been standing there all this time. No doubt she also saw him get purposefully drunk, like some pathetic loser. But honestly that’s exactly how he felt. He heard the engine start and without thinking of his next move or what exactly he wanted to do, he jumped off the sofa and ran to the front too, swinging it open just in time to see her tail lights as she drove out his drive way. “Fuck! Carter!” He shouted, but knew she couldn’t hear him. He ran towards her but she had already pulled out and was driving away. “Carter!” He screamed but he was only fast enough to follow her from a distance a few step before she disappeared.

He stopped and leaned forward to catch his breath, his eyes looking after her. “Carter…” He mumbled. He really had no idea what he would have done if she had seen him and stopped. The part of his brain that still worked told him he would have lost his temper just like he did before at the simple sight of her. But even so, he knew he had to try and do this. He straightened up and just stood there looking. “God damn it, Carter!” He sighed, looking after her. “What the hell are we doing?” He returned to his house and locked the door again, moving back to his bottle of scotch and vowing to finish it in the shortest time possible. He wanted to not care anymore.

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The pounding in his head was absolutely unbearable and the next mistake Jack did was try and open his eyes. The light was unbelievable even though it was only 8 am. He groaned and buried his head under the pillows on the sofa. He hadn’t even made it to the bed last night. Just passed out on the couch after he dutifully finished the bottle. And to add to his misery, as his consciousness returned so did the memories of the previous night. Sam, him, the so called talk they had where she tried to reach him and he slapped her down over and over.

“God…” He had lost his temper so badly, but she had pissed him off that much. He dragged himself off the couch and managed to get washed up and into new clothes without falling on his ass or passing out and he started making some seriously strong coffee. He barely sat down at the kitchen table, taking the first sip of his coffee when his phone rang. The sound pierced through his skull and he groaned, taking his cup and moving to the phone.

The Caller ID showed Sam’s name and he froze. She was calling him. Sam was calling him. After the monumental ass he had been last night, after the way he treated her, leaving her standing in his drive way for what he guessed were some good 20 minutes, she was calling him. Jack stood there in the middle of his living room, looking at the Caller ID and the ringing phone, warm coffee cup in his hands and he didn’t dare pick up. He knew, every fiber in his body told him he’d be and ass again as soon as he heard her voice.

Finally the machine picked up and there was a small pause before her voice came through. “Sir…” She waited a second for him to pick up. She knew he’d be home, nursing a major hang-over. He had become that predictable, he figured. “You had every right to get mad last night, sir.” Jack closed his eyes and groaned. Yeah, he did. He still was an ass for that. “And what I said… that’s not how I wanted to say it and sir, I swear, this isn’t about blaming you for how things went between us… if there’s anyone to blame, sir, it’s me and my… God…” He heard her sigh and struggle with words and he almost picked up. His hand hovered over the phone, his fingers closing in a fist and releasing, while his mind struggled with the pros and cons of answering. He had to answer.

And there was Sam’s voice again and he pulled his hand back startled. He was going to be an ass to her again. He knew that because he could feel his temper flare with the sound of her voice. “The things I said came out wrong and… sir, please, you have to let me explain because this does involve you more than you think and yes, I do feel the same about you, sir, but I’m… afraid… can’t…” She groaned. “I can’t say this over the answering machine…” She hang up just when his hand had picked up the phone and Jack was greeted with the dial tone. But again his ego was present and well and he couldn’t bring himself to call her.

He took another sip of his coffee and, sitting down on the floor on front of the table the phone base was on, he played the message over and over, analyzing every little thing about it, from her voice to the background noises. He played the tape over and over for 30 minutes, before he finished his second cup of coffee and driven by the new caffeine in his blood system Jack picked up the phone and dialed her number. He could feel his heart pound in his chest, the blood rush in his ears, but he squeezed the phone in his hand and gritting his teeth he crushed his screaming angered ego.

There was no answer. He tried three times, but there was no answer and he furiously slammed the receiver down. “Fuck!” The phone was forgotten wherever it landed and Jack returned to the kitchen for food and aspirin. He had to force himself to eat something, feeling like every bite was stuck in his throat. He just couldn’t get Sam out of his mind. They had to talk. Desperately. He knew. But they had to talk without him being an ass. And that was where the problem lay.

Jack spent most of his time on the back porch, sitting on the stairs and staring blankly at whatever his lost eyes caught. There were sounds he didn’t register, things he didn’t pay attention to. The only thing his mind was focused on was Sam and the last 2 years. Trying to think back to all those times they were together, trying to see if there had been anything that should have tipped him off. “Sir…” He was staring in his cup when he heard her voice. His head snapped up, eyes wide and this adorable ‘deer caught in the headlights’ look on his face. She was here. “Umm… I guess…” She took a small, shy step forward from the corner of his house. She was here. She was actually here and Jack couldn’t believe. “I should apologize for the way I… dumped all that on you last night… I shouldn’t have just showed up at your door like that…”

The expression on his face changed slowly and she could see him get angry. But she stood her ground, determinate to let him vent whatever fury he had, and somehow find a way to talk to him. No matter what she had to put up with, she needed to try and do this, because she refused to lose him. He was too important to her. “Doesn’t stop you from doing it again though.” He said coldly and his brain smacked him the same instant. He was being an ass again, speaking without thinking. He gritted his teeth, looking at her standing there. Any other day she would have turned and left the same second and been a bitch to him for weeks to come. Now she just stood there, taking all he had to give. She wanted to do this that much.

“Yeah…” She said, in a faint attempt to smile. “Couldn’t do this over your answering machine… and you wouldn’t take my calls…” She watched him get up slowly and stretch his legs.

“Yeah, wonder why that is, Carter?” Jack had already turned to walk inside when his brain started shouting all sorts of profanities at him. Ass. He was being an ass. Again. Big time. Huge. Just like he knew he would be. They had to do this. But first he had to stop talking. He stood there, back turned to her for a minute, fisting his hand and trying to get himself to just listen. And not talk. At all. Without looking at Sam he walked inside and once again she found herself left out and the door closing in her face. She closed her eyes in bitter defeat and again she stood there not knowing what she could do. She didn’t want to leave. There had to be something she could do even if it was to bust in his house and force him to talk.

She looked around his back yard trying to find a course of action when she heard the door open again and saw Jack step out with two cups of coffee. She watched him wide eyes as he stood there at the top of the few steps of his back porch and held a cup for her to take. Sam forced her breathing to stay calm and she swallowed repeatedly to choke her tears and walked sure of herself towards him. He was holding her eyes, the muscle in his jaw working and she knew he was seriously fighting his anger. She’d give anything to wipe it away.

He sat at the top of the stairs, at one side, waiting for her to sit next to him and she did, obedient to his unspoken word. Neither said anything for a while, Jack staring out in space while Sam studied her coffee. She had to talk. Short and efficient, but how could she put the last 20 years of her life in words in just a few minutes? She had to take the first step and just as he had said last night, hope that he’d meet her half way. He might have 2 years ago. Now, she didn’t know. “I was never good with men.” She said and Jack bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from saying another idiocy. They had to do this. “My mom died when I was little, my Dad… well, we both know how military life is, and to say our relationship was stressed would be an understatement.”

Jack kept his eyes on the trees in front of him, hands clenched on the coffee cup, letting her say what she needed him to know. “I didn’t know how deal with guys. The few boyfriends I’ve had while I was young… it all ended the same. Quick and painful. I just couldn’t make it work. Didn’t know how, what to do, how to… be with them.” He saw with the corner of his eye how her hands were shaking when she took a sip of coffee and to his surprise his anger started to fade away. “As I grew up… I found that with women I was more… comfortable. There was no feeling of love or passion as I was feeling for the guys I fell for, but it was comfort and peace… Security… So I gave up trying to… make it work with men and settled for close friendships instead. I need it more than I needed… men.”

She saw Jack’s eyes fall to the ground in front of him, wincing. “Sir, let me finish…” He relaxed and waited. “Through the years… I’ve only been in one brief affair with a woman, before I joined the AF… and then my career meant so much to me I was not willing to risk my future by… I preferred to be alone than risk losing my work.”

“You were engaged…” He risked the words and to his surprise they came out calm and patient.

“Yes, sir, I was. Just after I finished the Academy” She sighed. “That had to be one of the most stupid things I ever did… I was in love with him… but as usual… I had absolutely no idea what so ever about how to handle it all. So he handled it for me. He realized my fears even if he didn’t understand them and agreed to… just keep it all low level and just have us… be. He didn’t expect anything, didn’t ask for anything and it was perfect… now I realize it was all more because I was general’s Carter’s daughter and one of the most promising officers in the AF than it was because he loved me. Why else would he have stayed with me for 2 years when we barely had any…” He saw Sam wince and blush. “Contact…”

A smile tugged at his Jack’s and he couldn’t stop himself saying it. “You didn’t make love?” He asked bluntly and saw her turn bright red.

“Umm… well… a… few times… if you can call that… making love…” She waved it away. “That’s not the point. The point was that I really felt like the engagement would change things, that’s why I accepted. I was comfortable with the… rather platonic relationship we were having, and Dad and I even seemed to get along better after he found out about my future marriage. I guess I was using my fiance as a tool to get close to my Dad and live the life everyone expected of me, just as he was using me.” Jack finally looked at her face and the sad look in her eyes reached him again.

“Who broke it up?” He asked.

“I did. I couldn’t live a lie and I knew he didn’t love me. That he wasn’t being so understanding out of love but out of interest. After that… I haven’t been with anyone after him… until now…” He moved his eyes back to the trees when he felt his anger rise again, willing his anger to stay low.

“When did it first happen?” He asked coldly. He had to know.

“After the alternate Sam Carter showed up at the SGC.” She caught Jack’s confused eyes and held them. He was looking at her again. “She was… married. To her Jack. And they were happy. And I was… alone and battling feelings for my CO that… I couldn’t have, I couldn’t understand or even knew how to handle or what to do with them. It just…” Sam closed her eyes and bit her lips. “It turned my whole world up side down… and I just broke… I needed…” He saw her fight for words.

“Comfort.” She looked at him again and nodded slowly. He understood? “Janet?”

“She’s my best friend. She knew my story. We just… She agreed to be there for me when I needed her.”

“Just like that?”

“There’s no love affair, sir. Just my best friend. Just a couple of moments through the years when I broke. She’s…” Sam bit her lip and avoided his eyes. “She… was…” Jack felt the tears in her voice as she changed the tense. “In love with Daniel. What we had was…”

“Comfort.” She nodded again.

“When else?” She shook her head slightly. She didn’t want to tell him about all the times she turned to someone else instead of him. “When else?” Jack insisted and she couldn’t deny him this.

“When we got back from Sokar’s planet.” He urged her on. “When you and Teal’c nearly died in the glider… After… Daniel died…” Sam saw his eyes close a moment. He was seriously messed up after that himself. He could hardly blame her for avoiding him. He looked back at her and she was screwing her eyes against tears. She refused to cry in front of him. “Ba’al…” She whispered so faint he barely heard her. But he did and Jack’s heart froze. Did she even know how viciously he had needed her then? When he came back and spent weeks not being able to sleep? She was hurt too, he knew, he wasn’t that dense to her. He was screaming and dieing a bit more every night and all he needed to survive was her and she was unable to help him and maybe have him help her. She hadn’t even tried.

“Ba’al…” He repeated. But he was damned if he was going to let her know how much he had needed her, how lost he had been without her. He was not going to give her that much power. Jack gritted his teeth and locked those memories up. Somewhere far with all his other nightmares. “You didn’t seem to be that awkward with… what were their names…” He said almost hating the words and saw her eyes close. Her various alien friends that had his jealousy reach new, unprecedented peaks.

“Did you see any of them be more than my friends, sir?” He found his cup very interesting all of the sudden. Yeah, ok maybe it had been more his imagination than fact. They were all so very friendly with her, it drove him nuts and Sam of course returned that friendship. She was right though. It was all in his head.

“But you, however… What I was feeling for you sir… That was different. And… that was real and serious. Severely serious. I didn’t want to face it because I wasn’t supposed to feel it. I ran from it, ignored it… And it wasn’t because you were my CO… well, not only. What I started feeling for you… it was never like this…” She couldn’t meet his eyes even if he was looking at her face intensely. “Not with Jonas, not with anyone. This strong, this overwhelming… this… comfortable. With you I could just be and feel without insecurities and doubts.”

“Carter…” She was losing him again. He didn’t understand anymore. “Then why…”

“Because that was when problems started.” She said in a chocked voice. “When I tried to deal with it and do something about it. Like tell you for one. Quotes from the big book of regulations started playing through my head, then I realized I didn’t know how to do it, what to say or when, how to interpret what you felt for me, kept remembering how screwed up all my previous relationships were, how awkward I was about them… Sir…” She finally caught his eyes again and swallowed her pride and shyness. “I really have no idea what so ever what the heck I’m doing when it comes to men. I’m completely messed up. And I loved you so much I could not, ever, screw this us. I preferred to… have… what we had, as small as it was than screw it all up.”

“The Zatarc? What you said… it was real.”

“Yes, sir, it was. I did and I do love you.” She saw Jack’s eyes drop to his cup again. “I never would have told you if I wasn’t forced into it. And neither would you.” He nodded. “That’s why I was so eager to lock it all up. I was afraid that now that it was in the open… we were supposed to do something about it and… I could already see myself screw up. That room we locked it all in… it had nothing to do with the rules. Fuck the rules, I would have been in your arms the same instant if I…” Sam laughed bitterly. “If I knew how the heck to do it.”

“I wouldn’t have let you screw up.” He said suddenly and Sam froze. “All you had to do was explain. I wouldn’t have let you… us… screw up.” When he looked back at her face he saw her eyes fill with tears and her desperately trying to fight them back.

“I didn’t know…” She whispered again.

Jack sighed and looked back at her. She was holding the cup between her knees, waiting for him to say something more. She had said what she had to say. Now it was his next move. There was nothing more Sam could do to mend their friendship or heal whatever wounds she had caused him. “This ends right here, Carter. You won’t have to worry about this getting out.” He said finishing his coffee. “But for crying out loud, next time, don’t you two be talking about this in public. You’re lucky I was the one to hear you and not… God forbid, Hammond!”

She smiled weakly at him. “I wouldn’t call myself lucky, sir…”

He looked in her eyes and she smiled sadly. She was right. “I’ve been a major ass about this haven’t I?” He said and saw her bit her lower lip and wince at him. She wasn’t going to call him that to his face. “Yeah… well…” He fumbled with his cup. “I’ll try to be more civil… Carter…” He looked at her again. “Thank you.” Her eyes softened seeing the honesty on his face. “You were right. I didn’t understand. And if you hadn’t been this…” He smiled softly. “Suborned about talking to me, I never would have.” Sam smiled back at him. He was still sad and hurt, but he wasn’t shutting doors in her face anymore and that was a start.

“Sir… I never wanted to hurt you… I’m…so very sorry, sir.”

“I know.” He said softly. “I’m sorry too.”

“What will you do now? I mean… SG1 is very important to both of us and neither of us would want to leave…”

“No.” He cut in with a sure, strong voice. “This relates in no way to work. As far as I’m concerned and I hope you feel the same Carter, this will not affect our working together in any way.” She nodded. “I promise I won’t be the ass I’ve been these past weeks…” They both found a smile tugging at their lips. “But…”

“We won’t be the friends we’ve been.” Sam provided.

“I guess I can understand where you’re coming from Carter, but… I still feel like you lied to me. You let me believe things about us that… As much as you say you do love me, Carter, you still let me live a lie. A hopeless lie.” He held her eyes and waited. “I don’t blame you for having sought comfort. How could I? I’m not mad anymore. Yeah, I guess I understand what you did. Those had been some… pretty fucked up moments in our lives. But you should have told me that we… us, this… wasn’t going to happen. As your friend Carter… I’m sorry, but we’re not going to be the same.”

“But we can get there again, can’t we? In time?” Jack nodded slowly. He definitely hoped so. Sam sighed and watched him get up and take their coffee cups inside. He would drift away from her before he’d drift back. If she could ever get him to drift back to her. Would it be even fair to him? She loved him even now, and loved him badly, but fears and insecurities were still there. It wouldn’t be fair to him to ask him to feel for her, to ask him to go back to the way things were before when she couldn’t give him anything back.

And Sam realized he knew this too. He would leave her. If that was an appropriate word. Yes, their friendship could be saved and she knew they’d both work towards it. But Jack would give up on loving her. He was doing that even now. This drifting away from her was just that. Cutting his ties from her so he could start new. Give himself time to forget her and what he felt for her. Find the means, use his hurt to feed the separation he needed from her. And if he did that Sam would not be able to get him back. And if she wanted him back she would have to be willing to give as well as ask.

She wanted him to love her and she loved him. But things could not continue they way they had. She did want him and she needed him to know she did. More than anyone else. If she lost him, she would never find another man again because this, what she felt for him now was a one in a life time thing. For the first time it was real and she would never find it again. Losing him was losing her life. This was the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. But if there was a future for them, there were fears she had to kill first.

Jack came back out and retook his seat next to her. “Am I interrupting anything sir? I mean… you got any plans for…”

“Nah.” He waved her concerns away. “Nothing else planned but nursing a hang over.” When he looked at her, he saw her understanding look and knew she had indeed seen him get drunk over her the night before. “Yep, that one Carter.” He said in a light voice. “I was going to order something for lunch. Wanna stay?” She smiled at him. He was trying. He was really set on saving the friendship they had, even of she could still see hurt in his eyes when he looked at her. He loved her. And had to leave her. “So? Any preferences for lunch?” She was staring at his face and Jack waited, raising an eyebrow. And then he saw Sam’s eyes drop to his lips and both his eyebrows rose.

Her heart was racing and Sam felt like she was suffocation and burning up. She suppressed her nervous shaking and started leaning in towards him. There was a constant loud voice in her ears that screamed at her that she didn’t have a clue about how this was supposed to be done, that she completely clueless, but she crushed it. She loved him, wanted him, wanted to be with him for him just as much as for her. She saw Jack’s puzzled face as he sat there frozen and she kept closing the space between their lips.

She could do this. She had done this before. This wasn’t the first time she kissed a man. Small steps. *Do this with small steps. Don’t plan ahead…* She said. *Like riding a bike, it’s all like riding a bike… No big deal.* He wasn’t pulling back even if her intentions were now clear to him and she knew she’d have to go through with this now. It would be mortifying for her if she would pull back now. *How hard is this anyway?* But as she took in his face she realized this was far from being easy. She was an adult woman and this was the man she planned on living her life with. And the pressure grew for her. *Fuck Sam! Like riding a bike…*

She didn’t know if her lips hovered over his for longer than it was normal. She had no clue how long her little pep talk took. She also missed the glint in Jack’s eyes that would have tipped her off that he knew at least part of her thoughts. He had guessed her insecurities from second one and was now holding still, waiting to see if she had the guts to do this or not, wanted to see just what was she up to and how far she was willing to go.

Her lips finally brushed his and Jack felt his breath catch at the first contact. And then she was pressing them to his, sucking slightly and awkwardly, and he had to bring up all his self control to keep himself from moving his hands to her hair and take over. Sam tasted like coffee and her, and her lips were so very soft and warm, her breath coming in short fast pants over his face and Jack swore she could go into a panic attack right there. She was nervous like hell. He forced himself not to smirk like an ass against her lips and just stay passive and obedient to her lips.

He didn’t push her, didn’t take over, just left her lips to whatever she wanted to do and Sam felt a bit relaxed that he didn’t pull back for one. The fact that he let her do this offered her a small sense of comfort. He wasn’t forcing her, wasn’t demanding anything from her, wasn’t controlling. But then again Sam really wished he would do that, because she didn’t know what she was doing or what she was supposed to do next and she really didn’t know if she was doing it right. She just figured all’s good if he doesn’t pull away. Jack was obedient and submissive to her lips. Moving with her, guessing exactly what she wanted from him, parting his lips, molding them to hers, sucking and releasing just as she tried to coax him to do. He knew how to follow her awkward moves one by one, without flaw.

If Jack O’Neill knew one thing that was how to be kissed. And she guessed he was one deadly kisser when he took control. Her hand cupped the back of his head and bent her head slightly to the side to press to his lips harder. She could do tongue, Sam guessed. She should do tongue. *How the hell do I do tongue?* She swore to herself because it was clear he wasn’t going to be doing it for her. *Damn you, sir, you’re not a passive man! Stop playing.* But he did absolutely nothing without her gentle coaxing. *I can do tongue…* Jack felt the change in her breathing against his face and knew she was going to change something. And he loved watching her face through half lidded eyes as she was doing this.

He felt her lips part and her tongue poke out to lick his lips. He knew what Sam wanted form the first moment, but decided to let her work a little for it. He knew he shouldn’t play with her like this, but he had to get her to work up the nerves to do this. He could easily take control and throw her into a swirl of passion and arousal and fuck her to a mindless orgasm before she even knew what was happening. That was not what he wanted. Sam was the one who had to do this. This was about her and being able to want him without fear, being able to be comfortable with doing this with him, that whatever she wanted from him, she could ask and he would give her.

Sam felt a bit of confusion overtake her when Jack didn’t open his mouth to her and was just one split second away from pulling back. But then her tongue was licking his soft, thin lips and she liked that. The way he was molded against her, the warm, wet feel, the taste. And then she found his teeth. Perfect teeth that felt like the most erotic thing she ever did when she ran her tongue over them, playing over them. And then there were gums and she had to swallow a whimper. Dear God in haven she was exploring Colonel O’Neill’s mouth with her tongue. And damn him why wasn’t he opening to her?

Sam really didn’t know what she was supposed to do now. She wasn’t getting this right, she thought. She pressed her mouth harder to him and at the same time pulled his head to her. And his mouth finally opened. She felt him part his teeth for her and she felt her heart freeze. *Ok… now what do I do?* Jack’s tongue was waiting patiently in his mouth, in no way poking out to meet her, let alone move in her mouth and take control. So Sam had to do this. And she couldn’t hesitate. She moved tentatively around the inside of his teeth, going with small steps. The inside of his teeth, his palate, then his tongue. *Oh… I can do this…Oh, God!*

She felt her mind spin when she felt his taste on her tongue, the warmth of his mouth, the wet, slippery feel as she tangled her tongue with his. He was just as obedient and submissive as he had been with his lips, taking her hints and following them without flaw. Jack tangled with her, twirled and slipped against her, pushed, retreated, caressed and received her willingly. His cheeks were soft as she poked and explored every corner of his mouth, practically drinking him. He was a bliss and Sam couldn’t believe how happy she was feeling doing this. He wasn’t demanding, he wasn’t expecting things from her. Just went with here wherever she wanted to go.

She needed to be closer to him, her body started to ache to feel him up against her, to fill her arms and wrap his around her, hold her, because right now she was the one doing all the touching and holding and feeling. She scooted closer to him on the step they were sitting and Jack received her with the same passivity he had demonstrated so far. Her lungs had started protesting for air, but she refused to part lips with him for longer than a split second at a time, keeping their tongues tangling and slipping against the other. And still she needed him closer.

With a courage she never knew she possessed she found herself pressing her body to his and moving a leg to straddle his thighs. She felt his hands grip her back and waist gently to help support her. He was being passive but having her lose her balance and tumble down the pair of steps would be the worst possible scenario. Even with the gentle hold he had on her, Jack could feel her tremble slightly from anxiety. But still Sam didn’t back out. Her lips were still kissing his, her tongue tangling with his. And how she was in his lap, her arms going around his shoulders and hugging him to her while she pressed her mouth tighter to his. *We’re doing this…* Sam suddenly realized. “I’m doing this. God, sir!” She was doing this and he felt exquisite.

She felt his hands creep up her back to hold her to him. Undemanding, not exploring her, not trying to grope and feel and grab and in a way she regretted that because those hands felt so strong and perfect on her back, holding her, she would have loved to feel them explore her body. Which was odd she realized. She had never been comfortable with men groping her, feeling her body, and now she could actually feel her breasts ache for his hands. Sam found herself in a moment when she didn’t know what was happening with her, not knowing how to respond and deal with the sensations surging through her. All she could do, driven by instinct was press her chest against his to ease the ache in her breasts.

Her nerve endings were tingling, she was over aware of his hands, his lips his tongue, she was aching for him to touch her everywhere at once, she wanted his hands on her breasts, her ass, her legs. She could feel herself get wet, so wet she was becoming increasingly uncomfortable with the wet feeling soaking her panties, and the maddening tension growing low in her belly, demanding for his touch, her body craving for his fill, feeling empty and bare without him buried deep inside her body. Through the haze of desire Sam realized she was now moving in new territory, her desire overwhelming her and driving her into desperation. She had never left this aroused and in need before. She was always calm and cool, willing but not craving. This she didn’t know.

Sam didn’t know what to do to quiet her ache and he was not helping her in any way, fill in where her inexperience was leaving her empty. She felt her body start to shake slightly and squirm in his lap. She didn’t know anymore. Her lips lost their coherency, her tongue slipping desperately over his and yet he kept pace. More, she needed more and had no idea what to do. If they were inside she could try and undress him and herself. Here she didn’t know. She didn’t want to part with him because she knew she would never work up this courage again before. She had to do this in one or be lost. But she didn’t know.

--------------------------------

“Carter…” Jack whispered between her kisses. Damn, but he could talk while being kissed. Sam found herself thinking she was either doing something wrong, or he was just this good. “Carter… I…” And still she kept pace. “How far… you wanna go?” Her eyes parted slightly and she looked at his calm, slightly flushed face. He looked like she had never seen him. Her lips part slowly from his, keeping their heads close together. God, he was magnificent and she found herself choke on her breath at the sight of him. His face slightly flushed, his eyes alert and burning with passion, his lips wet and swollen from her kisses, and her hands holding the back of his neck. “You have to tell me Carter…” He felt her fingers start to toy with the short hairs at his nape and the feel shot right down his spine to his groin.

Sam licked her lips, panting. She could feel herself burning up and she knew she was probably flushed. “I…” She didn’t know what to tell him. Why was he asking? Why didn’t he just take her? She had made it clear she was willing. “You don’t want this…” It finally hit her. He wanted to know how much she was expecting of him so he could let her down gently now before things got too heated. “I…”

“Carter.” She was shaking more now, her fingers digging nails in his nape and it was the sweetest feeling in his life. “Do I want you?” He raised a playful eyebrow at her and she felt herself flush more if that was possible. “Why do you even have to ask?” He whispered holding her eyes. She didn’t understand. She was a genius but she wasn’t a mind reader. He saw her mouth form a delicious “oh”, that in any other circumstances he would have explored with his tongue in a second, her eyes widening a bit as she realized what he was saying. “Your show Carter. Find out.” His eyes caressed her face and she found her anxiety run through her from head to toes.

Jack watched her as her eyes left his eyes and hesitantly looked down his body. He saw her cheeks flush in embarrassment as she looked at his groin and the more than evident bulge in his jeans that was really, seriously bothering him by now. He felt his own cheeks flush slightly too as he saw Sam gasp silently, fighting to keep her breathing calm, when she saw him hard. If she had been straddling him pressed tighter to him she would have felt that pressed against her own crotch. And God, she regretted having kept this slight distance.

Her eyes darted back to his shyly, seeing him watch her and avoiding his eyes the next second. Sam felt outrageously aroused. But he was so hard, the denim of his jeans tensing over his hard-on, she found herself moving her right hand from the back of his neck to his chest and linger there unsure of what she should do and if she should. Her forehead fell against his for support. “I want you… I don’t wanna stop…” She whispered. “I want… it… all…” Her hand trailed down and Jack could feel her breathing hitch with her insecurities and fears overwhelming her again. But still she moved lower and he felt her grip his belt for support.

“Why now?” He asked and her hand tightened more on his belt. “Why finally now?”

“Because now you know everything. I want you and now you know it all and I… want to try and not be afraid of wanting you like this. I want you…” His hands thread through her hair and he looked at her intensely. “I’m sure. Do this with me… once at least. Let me know you… so I can lose my fears.” She whispered before he could ask and saw Jack’s face relax and his hands caress through her hair once more before her pulled away leaving her to it. Sam pulled back from him and looked at his hard-on again as her hand left his belt and moved over it, fingers sprawled over the bulge and feeling him hard under the fabric.

She gasped again, her breathing speed up as she kept on feeling him, harder, with more determination and Jack bit his lip against the spikes pf pleasure shooting up his spine. She felt him with her palm, her fingers, moving lower to where his balls were, cupping him and squeezing hesitantly, moving back up. She looked at his face and saw his lower lip trapped between his teeth, his eyes closing and opening in sweet anguish, as he fought for control. “You can thrust if you want to…” She whispered and heard his rough groan. It should have made her uncomfortable, she should have found it unappealing but instead her body shivered in arousal at the sound of his voice like that.

Jack’s hips pushed in her hand and she shuddered, at his need for her. He was still restraining himself, she could tell and Sam adored him for that. For not wanting to spook her. She pressed harder against him and he strangled a moan. But Sam knew she had no idea what she was doing. She had never done this, never felt a man like this and had no idea how to do this for Jack, how to make it good for him. What he needed, what he liked. “Show me…” She whispered, her hand stilling in him. Jack’s eyes opened and held hers. It was all Sam could do not to fluster. “I don’t know how… Show me what you need.”

He was taken aback by what she asked him and at the same time unbelievably aroused. She wanted him to show her how to rub him. More than that actually. Teach her how to rub him. On his back porch. Jack swallowed repeatedly and holding her eyes he moved his hand over hers gently. He brushed the back of her hand with his fingers to soothe her, before he gripped across the back of hand and slowly at first moved her small hand over his hard shaft under the denim. Sam moaned softly and looked down at their hands. He felt so warm and gentle as he held her and guided her over him, pressing her palm here and there, moving, up and down over his hard length, hard now, slow now.

Sam was gasping silently, or biting her lips as she watched his hand show her how he liked to be rubbed, what did it for him. She caught his sweet spots, learned the speed he liked, the pressure, when and how, memorized what he needed to make his hips twitch and jerk involuntarily, every little thing Jack wanted from her hand. And then she was moving on her own, his hand loosening its control. Sam found herself rubbing him on her own, his hand only a comforting presence over hers. And when she looked at his face she saw his eyes closed, his lips parted in a silent gasp and his features tensed in a sweet blissful pleasure. So she kept moving, hard, sure, pressing on him, rubbing and dragging her hand over his covered erection until a moan broke from him.

If Sam Carter was anything, she was a quick learner. And if he didn’t stop her right now Jack knew he was going to blow without a doubt. His hips were thrusting in her hand and instead of moving back with him, her hand pressed back against him and he lost it. “Stop!” He growled, with a bit more authority than he intended, but was glad for it, because her hand snapped back from him the same instant. Jack opened his eyes and looked at her shocked, confused expression and breathed deep and slow to try and get himself under control. God, even the pressure of the zipper against him was too much. “Fuck, you’re good!” He whispered, his hand once again gripping hers and bringing it to his lips.

He kissed the back of her hand softly, trying to calm his body and she relaxed again. “God, I was so close to blowing…” He whispered and Sam found herself smiling at the pleased, satisfied feeling. She did that to him. She was good for him. Jack opened his eyes and looked at her. He was still panting, face still flushed, as he reached out and brushed her hair. “You said all…” He whispered and Sam nodded. She wanted to go all the way, to do this with him. He felt absolutely perfect and like nothing she had ever felt for any other man. This was what it should have been like all along. She was not letting it go. “Can I feel you?”

She blushed and bit her lip. “It’s ok if you don’t wanna…” He added quickly, hands pulling away from her slightly to make his point. Moved too fast. “I just wanted to know where we stand…” He held her eyes. “You know what I mean?” She nodded.

“Yeah.” She winced when her voice came out shaking and hoarse with passion so she cleared her throat, squirming on him. “I know… Umm… yeah, okay…” She breathed, her hands shaking badly as she popped open the button of her jeans. Jack’s fingers tangled with hers, stilling her. She looked at him and the soft expression on his face, feeling his hands take over where she left off and lowering her zipper. Sam drew a sharp breath when she felt his fingers brush her belly, her muscles quivering at his touch. He held her eyes. “Ok… It’s ok.” She whispered to his unspoken question. Her hands moved to his shoulders, holding on for support as he gently brushed the waist band of her panties.

She gripped his shoulders and tensed slightly, waiting for him to touch her. “Just say stop.” Sam nodded and his hand slipped under the waist band and moved lower. “Relax Carter. I won’t hurt you.” She sighed and relaxed holding his soft black eyes while his fingers reached her folds and softly brushed over her. She whimpered again and then felt his long fingers slip between her folds, her juices coating them and slipping smoothly and wetly over her. She was soaked. “God, Carter…” Jack moaned, his eyes closing. He moved through her folds, slow and patient. She felt him rub her, push and slip, exploring her sensitive flesh, feeling her. He was searching for her sweet spots, seeing what she liked, where, how hard and heard her moan long and low. That was when Jack opened his eyes again and looked at her, seeing the passion cover her features. She did want this, she was ready for this.

So Jack upped the stakes a bit. He flawlessly found her clit and used the pad of his middle finger to rub slow and press down on it. She moaned long and low, her forehead falling to his and arching her hips for him. *Oh God!* Her mind screamed. *God, God, God…* She felt heat and pleasure drown her body and rush along her nerve endings and she craved more of it. And he complied all too happily. His finger moved lazily and sure over her clit, rubbing it hard and steady. The friction pulled at her flesh, heat and cold rushing through her at the same time, the pressure was torturing her nerves and tension built in her belly. He saw her head fall back, her lips parting to gasp for air, while she was squirming on him.

It wasn’t like this, she didn’t remember it like this. It was uncomfortable and self conscious, it was odd and awkward feeling men touch her pussy, rub, slip through her folds. It was simply freaking her out. She opened her eyes and looked at Jack’s face. He was calm and controlled, passion evident in his eyes, but he was slow and patient. And that was what differed. Others had always been rushed and uninterested in really doing this for her. Others were fast and flaw, were set on only getting inside her fast and coming, moved fast and quick for her to even have time to deal with it all. But here he was and Jack was nothing like that. He was slow. So slow, so patient, giving her time to feel him touch her, get used with his touch, pull back or tell him to stop. He was easing her to this and this was what she needed. To be taught how to do this. And God, she wanted to do this with him.

Sam felt his finger leave her clit and his hand slipped deeper in her panties and she jerked surprised when she felt him probe her opening with a finger. He stilled when he felt her hands grip his shoulders tightly through his T-shirt. Sam screwed her eyes shut and bit her lips. She didn’t know what to do but will herself to stay relaxed. “Tell me to stop.” He said, but she shook her head. His finger circled her slow and then pushed against her opening. Her body received him willingly and Jack groaned a lost throaty sound at how ready he found her. He could slip his dick inside her right now. Right here and she’d receive him so easily. However having his neighbors watch him fucking his second in command wasn’t exactly something he had in mind.

He felt her push down on his probing finger and he obeyed gladly. Slipping more of his finger inside her. “Oh…” She gasped as he withdrew and swiftly pushed inside again. “Oh God…” Sam locked eyes with him and gasped silently, eyes wide and surprised while Jack kept slipping his finger in and out of her. Her hands tightened on his shoulders more when she began moving her hips with his finger. She cloud feel herself drip on his hands and squirmed self conscious, which only served to have herself stretch around his finger. She bit her lips against the moan and panted hard. This couldn’t feel so good. She couldn’t have Jack fingering her on his back porch and feel so good.

He slipped out of her completely and withdrew his hand from her panties. Jack saw her watch him unsure of what was going on now. “Inside…” He breathed. “I doubt you wanna do this here.” He eased her off his lap and stood wincing at the crack in his knees. *Now that was embarrassing…* He thought, reaching for her hand and pulling her up. “Come on…” She watched dumb folded as he slipped his fingers, damp from her, in his mouth and sucked them clean. She didn’t even move when he took the first step towards the door. “What?” He asked looking back at her and tugging at her hand to bring her next to him, before he realized it was his gesture that surprised her. “Oh… What? No tissues.” He joked and watched her try and shake her shock with a smile that he realized was supposed to be confident but failed miserably. “Carter?” He drew out her name and Sam knew she wasn’t going to like this. “When was the last time you did this? With a man?”

She didn’t like that. It only made her flush bright red to the top of her head and fluster. But there he stood, still and waiting for her answer, eyes locked on her embarrassed face. *Fine, what the hell? You wanna know?* She forced herself to lose her embarrassment. “12 years… I think… There was no one after Jonas.” So he could blush too, she realized watching his cheeks turn a delicious shade of pink. Jack looked good flushed, she decided and took it the next step. “I told you sir, I have absolutely no idea about how to do this…”

“Then how about you find out?” He returned and her breath caught again. “The real thing not whatever you said you did with that guy.” Jack saw her breathing quicken again and she tried to swallow the lump in her throat. She was positive this was going to be one beautiful fiasco if he insisted she did this with him passive. Yes, one beautiful fiasco. But at some point or another Sam figured he’d lose it and need to really fuck her to get off and if she managed to get him there fast she really wouldn’t have to do all that much. Just let him fuck her. She let Jack pull her after him inside his house and through the rooms and hallway, to his bedroom. He felt Sam’s hand tighten its hold on his and he gently moved her in his bedroom. The door closed behind them and he saw Sam awkwardly stand there, looking around.

He stalked towards her and she had to use every bit of self control not to back away. His hands went to her denim jacket and slowly eased it off her shoulders and threw it on a chair. “It’s not a big deal, you know. Like riding a bike.” He kept his eyes on her face and saw her flush at his last words, while his fingers moved to the buttons of her blouse and started undoing them one by one. She was going insane standing there like a rock and wait for him to undress her. “Just go with it…” She knew she was supposed to be doing something other than play dead. For crying out loud he probably liked hot passionate sex, not some stupid little woman that barely had any clue about how to satisfy a man. She had to at least try and be good for him. Her lips closed in on his and again he received her happily and with the same patience and passivity while he opened her blouse.

Her hands grabbed the back of his neck after he had the blouse off and again sought access to his mouth, whimpering when she felt his hands going to the waist band of her pants. He undid them and pushed them off her hips. She started shivering against him and tightened her hold on his nape as she stepped out of them. He felt her press her body to his in a desperate attempt not to run away and hide, anxious about being this naked with him. Jack tried to break the kiss but she wouldn’t let him go. Her lips followed him and her hands held his head to hers, moaning and whimpering. He gripped her waist, and the shaking he felt in her body started to worry him. “Carter…” And yet she refused to let go of his lips.

With sure swift moves he had her against the wall, pressing into her and holding her head still, so he could pull back. “Carter!” He gasped, freeing his lips from her. She was anxious and unsure, self conscious and maybe even scared. She held his eyes shyly, barely able to look at him without avoiding his gaze. “Number one.” He said stroking her hair softly. “Relax.” He saw her eyes close and her head fall back against the wall with a thud. She was fucking up already. She breathed in deeply and willed herself to relax and stay calm. He was right for her, she just had to relax and trust him. “Sam…” He breathed her name brushing his lips over her cheek and her head snapped to look at him. He called her by her name. He held her eyes and kissed her softly. “Sam. It’s a game. Relax. You’re not doing this alone and we won’t screw up. You can stop at anytime. This is just a game. Ok?”

She closed her eyes again and nodded. She could do this. “Yes, sir.” She whispered and heard him groan. “Sam… you want me to turn soft in record time, keep calling me ‘sir’.” She laughed shortly, if still a bit nervous of all this. “Jack.” He moaned again but this time pleased with how it sounded to have her say his name. “Jack…” She whispered against his lips and kissed him again. This time his mouth opened instantly and she felt his tongue actually seek hers. Sam liked kissing. She was actually getting good at kissing. She started to know what he liked and how he felt and she knew how to do this with him. Kissing was safe. She could do kissing. Even tongue now.

She felt his hands move between them, to his pants and she heard him undo them and tug at them to get them off. She moaned in his mouth and pressed her body tighter against him when he stepped out of his pants. He pushed away from her breaking the kiss with a moan torn from them both. Jack grabbed his T-shirt and pulled it off, leaving him standing there only in his boxers. He heard her moan, her eyes taking in every line and curve of his body, running over the well defined planes of his body, caressing and exploring. Sam’s hand reached out and touched his chest shyly. He stepped closer to her and her second hand came into play, running over his broad shoulders, down his chest and abdomen, her eyes following. He was magnificent. She loved every line of him, every scar, every muscle flexing under the skin with his moves.

He unhooked her bra and eased it off her. She had to move her hands back to his body so she wouldn’t cover herself. She was never undressed like this and available to a man’s eyes. It felt odd, she felt exposed, but the look on his face when he saw her, when his hands moved up her belly and cupped her breasts was priceless. He could fall to his knees that moment. He was looking at her with that much awe and adoration and Sam felt a surge of peace and comfort run through her. She was ok for him, he liked what he saw, he looked past her awkwardness standing there naked before him, he saw past her shyness and inexperience. If she was honest with herself she thought he actually liked all that about her. The fact that he was the one to show this to her. The reality of sex.

He looked back at her face, reveling in the soft blush suffusing her cheeks and spreading down her long neck and shoulders when his fingers hooked in the waist band of her panties and tugged at them. She tensed up immediately, but Jack held her eyes and tugged a bit more, revealing her hips and pulling them lower. *Ok, keep breathing, keep breathing, no big deal…* She repeated to herself. *Not like he didn’t see it all before…* She almost relaxed again when her mind provided the next line. *Yeah, but not you and the others knew what the hell to do!* She had to force herself not to clamp her thighs and stop him from removing the last barrier.

And then her panties fell to the floor and Jack helped her step out of them and away from the wall. He still held her eyes while he guided her to the bed, but she knew he would look. Any moment now he would and she could feel herself drown in embarrassment. He didn’t look though. Just held her eyes and moved his lips closer to hers and kissed her gently. His arms wrapped around her and slowly started caressing her, feeling her shapes and curves, gliding over the skin until he reached her ass and cupped the cheeks, pressing her harder against his cotton covered erection. He swallowed her moan and gently moved to her front to feel the soft skin of her belly and move up to her chest to cup her breasts.

Her breath hitched and she broke the kiss when she felt his hands hold her breasts, cupping them and kneading them. *Oh, damn, that’s good!* She groaned inwardly. She felt them heavy and aching and his hands were so deliciously easing that pressure and pain, and sending shivers all through her body. He wasn’t groping, he wasn’t demanding and rough, playing out some dirty perverse obsessions he had with her breasts, although she had no doubt he had them. She was suddenly smiling at him at the thought and wondering just what those obsessions were.

“Get in bed.” He said softly his own smile tugging at his lips. “You still ok?” She nodded, unwrapping her arms from around his shoulders and backing towards the bed. That was when he looked at her whole, from the top of her head to her toes. And she shivered seeing his smile vanish instantly from his lips and his groan escaping his lips. He adored her and Sam knew he could fuck her so hard right now she’d surely break under him. As uncomfortable as she had always been with having men just take her like that for their own needs, to make up for her inexperience, for the first time she found she would have actually loved having Jack lose himself that madly inside her.

But still he stayed slow and passive. He got rid of his boxers and moved towards the bed. “Oh! Oh… wow.” He saw her gasp almost silently at the first sight of him. “Oh, God…” He was so tall, looking even taller naked. Lean body, well worked muscles, and the most impressive erection Sam remembered seeing. Then again she hadn’t had sex in over a decade so she really had nothing to compare him with other than vague memories of something resembling sex and plastic vibrators. And that was so different from this. He was thick and long, straining against his belly and she could feel her body quiver at the thought of receiving that inside of her. He no doubt liked to be taken whole and she shuddered. He had to do this for her because she had no idea about to take that.

She was gaping at him and she knew it, she also knew she was staring wide eyed at his hard on, totally dumb folded. *Have that fuck me?* She finally realized. *Holy mother of God!* Have him over her with that hard on buried inside her and pounding her body. “Whoa, Jesus!” Sam felt her mind spin at the thought at the almost feel of it. But she so wanted to feel it. All of it.

He stopped at the foot of the bed. “Sam?” She looked up at him like he’d just brought her out of a day dream. “Problem?” He asked raising an eye brow and saw her blush reappear in her cheeks. She’d been caught and she had never hated her inexperience so much in her life. He knew he was of reasonable size, but she was looking at his erection like she felt she’ll never be able to receive it. Sam waved his concerns away, shifting on the bed, completely lost at what she was supposed to do now. Her eyes dropped to his dick again and she licked her lips. She was totally entranced by it. He looked like the most perfect thing she ever saw. “What do you want?” He asked in a soft voice and she once again caught his eyes. She looked straight at him, crawling to the foot of the bed and sitting on it, looking up at him and once again licking her lips. “God…” He whispered his hands cupping her cheeks lovingly. “You sure? Sam you don’t have to…”

“But can I?” She interrupted, her hands resting hesitantly on his hips. “I mean…” She winced, but her eyes didn’t leave his. “I’ve never… I want to but I… you know?”

He nodded and brushed her lips with his thumb. “Don’t worry. Just do whatever you wanna do.” She smiled relieved and turned her head to fasten her lips on his palm kissing his hand passionately. It was incredible how much comfort and security he inspired her. His fingers caressed her cheek softly while her hand reached out and touched him. She drew her lower lip between her teeth and moved her fingers over him. He was velvet, but hard as a rock. Screw vibrators, there was no substitute for this. Sam ran her fingers from base to tip, instinctively moving her thumb over it and he jerked slightly.

“Sorry…” He mumbled and she pulled back. “That was so good… It’s ok, don’t stop…” She looked up at him briefly, searching his eyes and moved again when he nodded. She wrapped her hand around him. He was thick and so hot. She could feel the blood pulse through him when she squeezed slightly and move up him pulling at the flesh in a sweet friction. “Oh, fuck…” His hands trembled in her short hair, but he didn’t move his hips and Sam slipped back down on him. She looked up at him again, her eyes seeking guidance. “A little tighter grip…” He whispered and she complied, her hand tightening around him more and stroking. “Tighter…” He whispered and she complied again, panting. “Harder…” Her hand moved harder on him stroking over him in a perversely exhilarating imitation of what her body would do to him.

Sam winced. He liked it hard, she realized. He liked it hard and sure, he liked to fuck and she would never be able to give him what he liked. She could hardly believe the way she was rubbing him, let alone give him the same with her body. And still she couldn’t lose her desire to feel him in every possible way. His hands released her face to leave her freedom to move like she wanted to and with a last lick of her lips Jack watched with parted lips as she slowly and wetly kissed the head of his dick. He gasped softly but didn’t move in any way. Her hand stayed at the base of his dick and her tongue poked out and licked over the head, swirling around it. Jack bit his lip at the wet, slippery sensation and the desperate need to get his dick in her mouth and get off. Right now. She was killing him, but what a way to go.

Sam’s hand left him and she moved her tongue to the base of his shaft and slowly and lazily licked up his length to the head. Her mind was screaming incoherently at her, the blood rushing through her. He felt so smooth and velvety against her lips and tongue, but he was so hard and large. And then there was the taste. Strong and powerful, invading her senses and washing inside her mouth from the first second she kissed the head. It knocked the air out of her, but she couldn’t get enough of it. It was perfect. And he was stretching her lips so nicely around him as she closed them around the head and sucked gently.

Sam was going on instinct, on what she thought she should do. His size amazed her again when she slipped down on him, feeling the stretch of her lips, feeling his hardness and amazed at the ease with which he slipped between her lips. She though it would be a lot harder to take him in her mouth. Her tongue rubbed at the underside and she started sucking him, moving her head gently up and down him. She could hear his breathing change and feel the quiver in his hips under her hands. She had to be doing something right. At least she was praying she was. Summoning up some courage she looked up at him, seeing him watch her, with his lip sweetly trapped between his teeth and desire mixed with need in his eyes. He needed more from her. She slipped him out slowly so she could speak. “Show me…” She pleaded with him. She wanted to get this right and Jack’s eyes closed in unbelievable adoration for her.

With her heart racing in her chest she felt his hands move to her hair and gently guide her to him. “Let me move.” He said. “I won’t gag you. Trust me.” She did. Always did. Her lips parted and she willingly received the head in her mouth. Her eyes fluttered shut for a second at the taste flooding her mouth. She was never going to get enough of feeling him in her mouth. Jack went deeper than she first took him and her eyes darted up to him. “It’s ok. I won’t hurt you.” He spoke in a hoarse voice. She liked hearing him like that. He was deeply lodged in her mouth when he pulled back and slipped the same length in. Then did it again, and again, moving slow and smooth between her wet lips. “Sam… harder…” He was panting. “Suck a little harder.”

She complied and her lips tightened on him and she increased the suction, instantly tearing a groan from him. She sucked a bit more and felt his rhythm falter, his hips buck slightly against her face and she kept that suction. This was incredible. “God, Sam… so good.” He moaned and moved again, a bit faster, a bit deeper. “More…” He breathed and slipped in a bit more. She relaxed for him and felt him thrust until he swiftly hit the back of her throat. And she didn’t gag. He was going deep, hitting her throat and he didn’t gag her. The moan she released washed right through him, but he was so delicious she couldn’t stop it. His control aroused her, his taste drowned her, his feel, his scent drove her to insanity. She loved him. He bumped against her throat again and again, and she saw his eyes fall closed.

His moves became almost erratic, and when his hands lost their hold on her head she moved on her own, at the same speed and depth, receiving him all the way to her throat and sucking at him a bit harder. He was groaning and grunting with every thrust, his face a picture of pleasurable pain. He was close and she knew it. So close and briefly she realized he was going to blow in her mouth and the sense of satisfaction she felt shocked her. But his hands grabbed her hair and stopped that thought. He pulled her off him with almost shaking hands. “Not like this.” He said in a shaking throaty voice. “Not the first time.”

Next thing Sam knew, he was on his knees in front of her, his lips fastened to her in a deep and sensual kiss. One he controlled this time and she started shivering. His tongue was languidly moving in her mouth, lips moving and sucking, while he explored her mouth with such certainty. She clutched at his hair for support and received him happily. Jack was beyond good, he was perfect. Slow and soft, her lips caressed by his instead of crushed to her teeth, tongue sweet and erotic as it moved inside her mouth in a perversely explicit imitation of what he did and would like to do with his dick to her mouth and other parts of her. He swallowed her lustful moan, placing quick short kisses to her lips, sucking at her now swollen lips. “Wow…” She whispered.

“Liked that?” Her lost expression was adorable. “Sucking me? The kiss?” She blushed furiously and he kissed her again. “Shh… it’s ok. Sorry.” He kissed her jaw and she angled her head for him. “I like dirty talk sometimes…” She could tell him but right now he was doing some very interesting things with his teeth and lips to her neck. And there was a very wet and warm tongue playing over it. Sam started gasping and squeaking while Jack kissed and nipped at her neck. She didn’t know her neck could do that, feel like that. It felt so sensitive to his lips she could even feel his breath over her skin. And then he was at the spot behind her ear. She had heard about how sensitive it was supposed to be and all, but she never got it. For her it wasn’t all that big a deal.

Until Jack licked his lips and kissed it sure and wet. She practically jumped off the bed at the sensation spiking through her. “Holy crap!” She gasped and didn’t even care for the smirk she felt against her skin while he kept her in place, kissing the spot and licking it. “Oh… wow…” He was so warm and wet, slippery and erotic playing with her ear and the spot, he had to use his hands to stop her squirming on the bed. She moaned in desire and passion, her hands fisting tight in his hair, but he didn’t relent. His lips moved along her jugular, poking and playing with her pulse point and drawing lazy patterns on the long column of her neck with the tip of his tongue. “Sir…” He nipped at her collarbone a bit too hard and she yelped. “Jack! Sorry, Jack. I need to…” She moaned, flustering and fighting with the words while he kept kissing and nipping her collar bones.

Damn him he knew what she wanted, but he didn’t give in. “Jack?” He moaned, waiting for her words. “Please… it hurts Jack…” He looked up at her, eyes dark and fiery and she gulped. He looked feral. And so magnificent. She held his eyes as he trailed his lips down to her breasts and fastened on one, lips sure and hard, sucking her, cupping her underside with a sure hand and molding her to his mouth, kneading her while he sucked. She arched and pulled his head tighter to her chest. “Jack…” She sobbed. “Please… need you… bad…”

It actually hurt, her body hurt in need for him to fill her, fuck her, drive her to orgasm. She never felt it like this, so bad, so hard that pleasure turned to pain and felt like it actually tore her insides, her body screaming for his cock to stretch her. This had to be wrong, there had to be something wrong with her. This wasn’t supposed to hurt, something was wrong with her and she started to panic when his mouth only increased the ache in her belly. Her eyes screwed shut, squirming in anxiety. But then Jack’s hand trailed down her body to between her legs and softly rubber through her folds, putting just a little pressure on her clit. She gasped and arched for him. “Better?” He asked, looking up at her while kissing her breasts.

Sam bit her lip, nodding. He knew everything she needed. His mouth closed on the other nipple sucking at it just as fervently while his fingers rubbed her clit. She was impossibly wet for him, already soaking the sheets she was sitting on and when he moved a finger and slipped inside her, her body was more than willing for the penetration. He groaned and immediately slipped a second finger in. She gasped, her head going back on her shoulders and pelvis thrusting towards him. “Lie back.” He told her, pushing at her shoulder with his free hand until she was lying on the bed, her hips at the edge. She watched him with wide, surprised eyes as he gently and soothingly moved her legs over his shoulders. “Ok?”

She nodded fast, almost shaking. This was new and she clutched at the sheets when she felt him move closer to her pussy and her thighs part for him, supported by his broad shoulders. He caressed her hips soothingly and held her eyes. “Ok Sam?” She nervously nodded again and he kissed her thighs and belly, his hands never ceasing their caress. “Don’t tense… it’s ok…” She watched him as best she could as his head lowered to her folds and she felt his hot breath wash over her. She shivered, swallowing her anxious moans. This was so very different and so very new. “You ever did this before?” He asked softly kissing her inner thighs and licking her dripping fluids from her skin.

She flushed in embarrassment again and glared at him. Damn him for knowing this so well. “No. No man ever wanted to do this. They just…” She breathed deeply while Jack kept kissing his way closer to her. “They just fucked me and got it over with…” She covered her face with her hands. This had to suck for him. Taking so long to show her all this, to do this with her, for her when he was so hard and ready. It had to hurt, she knew that much. Still he did all this with her. He must be hating this. Probably the worst sex in his life. She was so completely clueless to this. “Jack, it’s ok…” She tried to bring him up but he didn’t move. “Jack, come on, fuck me. It’s ok, you don’t have to do that…” He didn’t move and she groaned to hide her sob. “Jack, this is supposed to be good for you too.”

“Who said it’s not?” He returned and then his lips closed over her folds and he kissed her gently. She hissed in surprise at the arousing sensation. He was warm and gentle and then his tongue parted her folds and moved over her pussy, tasting her, licking her, probing and exploring every little part of her.

“Jack…” She shuddered at the feel of his tongue explore her with that much insistence. He licked at her clit and she jerked with a squeak. That felt amazing and Sam had to force herself to stay still the second time he did it. He repeated it again and again, flicking her clit repeatedly and rubbing it with the hard tip of his tongue. This was insanity, Sam could swear it was. Jack had his head between her thighs, breath washing over her, he was licking her and she could feel her orgasm build. He was sure and swift, hot and wet and her body would have loved to just explode right now.

If he didn’t stop she was going to come right on his face and she would be mortified if she did, if she orgasmed on his tongue. “Jack…” She moaned, but he didn’t listen, just trapped the clit between his lips and sucked, her head going back, eyes screwed shut. “Oh, God, please don’t!” He sucked at her so incredibly perfect, the pressure shooting right up her spine, the suction coiling her release in her belly, the feel of his strong sure lips trapping her like that to him, perversely satisfying. “Jack, don’t!”

He slowed and released her clit, looking up at her and catching her pleading eyes. “What’s wrong?” He saw her swallow her tears and fight for words. “Sam, you got to talk to me.”

“I don’t want to come like that…” She whispered. “On your tongue…” He kissed her clit and she moaned at the soft touch. “I’m sorry…”

“It’s ok.” He said soothingly, his tongue playing around her opening. “It’s too exposing, I know.” He pushed his tongue inside her and watched her gap at him with wide eyes as he slowly started fucking her. She quivered around his tongue and he kept up a slow, lazy penetration working her up again until she called his name. “I know. I won’t get you off like this.” He licked her again. “But God, you feel incredible…” He pressed his lips to her and kissed her. Her hands moved to his hair and threaded through the short silver strands in a shaking, gentle caress. He eased her thighs off his shoulders and nuzzled her. “Move up the bed.” He urged her and she scooted back to the pillows.

The whole bed felt and smelled like him and she was suddenly overwhelmed with the reality of him. He moved up over her and kissed her again. *Christ!* She screamed inside when she felt her taste on his lips. *Oh God!* There was his tongue and lips and her taste lingering around his mouth. She broke the kiss, breathing heavily. That was insanely erotic. Jack rolled off her and onto his back and she was left starring at him. He was actually expecting her to do something. *Oh, come on! What am I supposed to do?* She looked at him and with an understanding smile he took her hand and pulled her to him until he could grip her hips and coax her to straddle him.

*Oh! Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me!* She screamed inside. *No way!* She was way out of her league. He liked women in control, did he? He liked to have them work for him. But she had no idea what she was doing or how to do this for him. *Fuck! What do I do? What do I do?*

--------------------------------

Sam had no idea how to do this. Men have always done it for her. Pinned her beneath them and fucked her until they got off. If she happened to come while they did, well, that much better. With unsure moves she straddled Jack’s waist, bracing her hands on his chest and grateful for his strong grip of her hips. At least one of them knew what they were doing. “You can’t possibly expect me to do this…” She finally spoke up. She couldn’t do this. He raised an eyebrow at her gently coaxing her lower on him. “Sir, I don’t know how to do this!” His hands stilled and gripped her tighter, this completely mortified look on his face.

“Carter!” He almost shouted. “For crying out loud!” She blushed furiously and dug her nails in his pecs which only ended up making him groan sharply and shiver under her. “Don’t call me ‘sir’.” She bit her lip. The word just slipped, she was hardly thinking, he couldn’t possibly blame her for it. “I’ll do anything you want, just don’t. Call. Me. Sir. Please!” His tone was honestly begging now and she could only smile and nod down at him. He took one of her hands in his and guided it to his lips for a soft kiss. “Come on…” He whispered, gripping her hips again and urging her to move over his hard dick. This time she moved with his coaxing and was now supported right above him. “Ok?” He practically breathed the question when she lowered herself a bit and the blunt head slipped through her folds, coating him in her juices, feeling her wetness drip down his shaft. “God, Sam…”

Jack’s fingers dug in her flesh but she couldn’t care less. His eyes fluttered shut, his jaw clenching in his struggle for his self control, trying to stay still and not thrust up and impale her right God damn now. She was feeing him with her body, learning the feel of him, the size of him pressed so intimately against her and he was slowly going insane. She was so hot and wet, and he could feel her muscles give way so easily, her body was practically begging for him. But still he felt so thick, she couldn’t contemplate receiving all of him inside her body. *Have that inside me? Dear God…* She was never going to be able to do this. She was never going to be able to take him in. *Oh get over it Carter! You’re no less that the other women he’s been with!* When he felt her brace herself better on him Jack forced his eyes open and saw her looking at his face. “Help me…” She whispered, starting to lower herself more on him.

Jack held her so securely and flawlessly found her opening with the head, leaving her to slide down on him at her own pace. Her nails dug in his chest again and he shivered assaulted by both her nails and the feel of her tight warmth trapping the head and slipping him slowly in. She gasped holding his eyes with a priceless, surprised look on her face when she felt her body stretch tightly around him, giving way to receive his size. It didn’t hurt like she remembered, it didn’t feel uncomfortable or foreign, it felt complete and right, the ache in her body subsiding the same instant. She rotated her pelvis on the head getting used to the feel of him inside her before she took more. His strangled groan was incredible and with her lip trapped between her lips she imbedded more of his dick inside her.

His hands gripped her even tighter, his hips trembling slightly under her. He needed her. Now. He couldn’t take this slow. “Sam…” He growled, his eyes screwing shut when she took another inch inside her. “God, please Sam…” He didn’t want to rush her, he never wanted to rush her, but she had to know how thin his self control was at this moment. Jack looked back up at her flushed face and labored breathing and he felt her try and relax and she slipped him all the way inside her. Big, he was so big for her, Sam felt like she was going to die. Her head went back on her shoulders, her body arching and twitching from the feel of him so deeply inside her. This wasn’t plastic, it was hot flesh and she never thought such a feel was possible. Or that it could feel so good. So hot, so smooth, so hard, all inside her.

She saw him buck and tense under her, his eyes rolling back in his head and teeth clenched tightly against the ragged sounds torn from him. If it was pleasure of pain flashing over his face she couldn’t say and neither could Jack. She was too tight, too wet, too hot but he loved the painful pleasure whipping his nerves. He groaned arching minimally under her, trying to hold on to his control and not blow, not pump frantically into her and explode in the next seconds. He gasped for air and opened his eyes seeing her face torn in the same agony as he was. “Sam…” He moved one hand to her hair, gently caressing her with trembling fingers. She didn’t open her eyes, this time, her head lowered and gasping, her hips twisting and squirming on him. He brushed through her hair again. “Sam…”

“Too much…” She whispered, watching him through half lidded eyes. “Too big… God…” She arched again, her body still quivering and throbbing around his size. “Jack…” It was nearly the end of him when he heard his name moaned like that, in such sweet perfect agony.

“Shh… It’s ok, just relax and wait. We don’t to move. We don’t have to do anything. Just stay and relax.” Sam nodded and forced her breathing to calm, stood still until her body accommodated him, accepted him, until his own desperation fled. “Didn’t feel like this?” She shook her head, still watching him shyly.

“This is so good.” She whispered. “God, I can’t believe this… Jack…” She whined a little but she didn’t care. She needed him.

His hands gripped her waist again. “Move…” Her eyes were filled with anxiety again. “Slowly…” He whispered calmly. “Pull off and move back down. At your own speed. It’s ok, no rush…” She nodded and under his coaxing she pulled herself off his cock until only the head was in and slipped back down. She saw him gaps and his eyes lost focus, but his hands stayed sure on her hips, helping her balance. She did it again, slow, excruciating movements, so lazy and hesitant it was tearing him to pieces with how perfectly sweet she felt. “God, you’re beautiful…” He saw her blush furiously, but she didn’t stop moving. She just looked at him for approval and guidance through this. “A little faster.” He whispered.

She breathed deeply and picked up that pace gasping shocked at the blissful friction between them, at the pull on her flesh, the stretch, the repeated penetrations, over and over and over until she cloud feel heat rushing through her, pleasure and satisfaction shooting up her spine and coiling in her belly. It was blissfully satisfying to see him so drowned in need and desire, it only drove her on and she moved harder, taking him in with more determination each time, until she was riding him heavily. *Holy…* Sam screamed inside. She was actually fucking him, she was receiving him whole and she was the one doing it, not just taking it, spread open and passive. She was moving steadily and powerfully on him, her body screaming for more and more of the tormenting sensations fucking him released.

She needed more. Suddenly this wasn’t enough anymore and she twist on him, forcing a rougher pull at her flesh and Jack growled. She moved faster, harder and he only helped her, thrusting up forcefully to meet her on every stroke, while his hands swiftly pulled her down on him. She was gasping and mewing with every pump, squeaking when he hit a spot or another that made her twitch and jerk. And Jack couldn’t get enough of seeing her shudder over him, her breasts bouncing with her moves, with her jerks. One of his hands moved up her body and powerfully grabbed a mound in his hand, kneading her, squeezing, pinching and twisting the nipple fiercely while he thrust into her.

She was already starting to contract around him erratically, gasping and grinding herself on him. His fingers moved from her waist to her clit and he took up a steady harsh rub of her, that had her crying out on every pump. “Jack!” She squealed sweetly. “Oh, God, Jack!” She was clutching at his cock more and more, her body losing its coherent moves on him. She was going to come so hard and he loved the way she looked. Flushed and aroused, nipples hard before his eyes and in his hand, body drowning him, gripping at him tightly. He thrust up harder. “Jack… no…” Sam couldn’t move any more. She could feel the tension coiled in her so hard it would tear her when it exploded, she could feel pleasure bordering pain and burn through her body, burn through her nerves and pool right in her core. “Wait…”

This wasn’t supposed to be like this. This was going to hurt, and hurt badly. This was going to rip her body apart, leave her broken and battered and she couldn’t move anymore. This wasn’t how it was, this was wrong and she had to try and fix this so it wouldn’t hurt anymore. But still he moved minimally under her and she gripped his waist tightly and stilled his hand on her clit. “Don’t… don’t do this…” He stilled instantly. Hips, hands and when she opened her eyes at him she saw honest concern over his face. “Hurts… it will hurt… something’s wrong…” His hands left her clit and breast and sweetly ran up and down her sides.

“No, it won’t.” She shook her head. It will, she knew it will. His hips moved again under her, lazy and sweet and she tried to stop him again. “Sam… it won’t hurt.”

“Jack!” She begged.

“I would never hurt you. I swear, Sam, it won’t hurt. It feels like it will, bit it’ll be sweet and satisfying.”

“Jack… no… hurts…” She was almost sobbing now, nails digging painfully in his pecs.

“Ok, ok… Shh…” He stilled and gently pulled at her arms. “Come here… Come here…” Jack pulled her to his chest, wrapping his arms around her tightly when she curled in his embrace and buried her face in his neck. This was wrong. She had done something wrong. And she was torturing him too. She could feel his heart beat furiously in his chest under her, his breathing fast and shallow. She may be scared of coming on him but he needed his release. God, she was such an awful lay. And still he was holding her so sweetly, kissing her hair and wrapping her up in him. She breathed and ended up sobbing. “Trust me… Trust me…” He whispered and suddenly Sam felt him roll them over, without slipping out of her.

Sam gasped when she felt him leaning heavily over her and pressing her into the mattress. He felt so hard and big over her, his forearms moving to brace him on either side of her head, his body leaning over her and pressing into her, but still allowing her to breathe. He supported himself on one hand while the other moved to hike her thighs higher on his body and coax her to wrap her legs around him, opening herself to him. “Jack…” She gripped his arms and did as he instructed her, his lips brushing over her forehead and down her cheeks.

And then he moved again, slow and lazy, pulling out of her and plunging back in, rubbing so tantalizing against her tight, quivering walls, inside her, pulling at her flesh, stretching her. “Jack!” She squeaked again, arching under him, the first pulsing of her release starting again, the tension coiling more, and this time he was in control. She writhed under him, gripping the sides of his body.

“It won’t hurt, Sam…” He breathed, looking down at her with soft, sensual black eyes, his hands brushing her sweaty hair, framing her face, caressing her. “Shh… It’s ok. I won’t hurt you…” He kissed her forehead again. “Please, Sam, please trust me…” He kept moving and she kept mewing softy, squirming under him. “Oh God!” He suddenly grunt, his head falling to her shoulder. She squirmed again and realized it was her movement that affected him. “Fuck! Sam!” He was shuddering over her and Sam found a few tears cloud her eyes slightly. He felt so good like this. Her arms wrapped around his torso, finger tips caressing his damp back, surprise overwhelming her when she found him so sweaty from exertion. The feel and knowledge he got this way with her, for her, sent a rush of arousal through her, her release tensing even more.

Jack moved again, this time more determinate, more powerful and she clutched desperately at him. Too much, too fast, too strong. “Easy Sam…” Everything overwhelmed her and drowned her, sensation spiraling out of control, her body tensing and releasing, trembling, jerking, and Sam clenched her teeth and screamed, eyes screwed shut. “Easy… relax and let go…” He impaled her again and she exploded around him with fury, convulsing and bucking under him, her muscles clenching around him savagely, tugging at his flesh, pulling at him without mercy and he growled at the violent release she was drowned in, right under him, trapped under him, with his cock deep inside her spasming body. “Sam…” He breathed and lost it. His control snapped with a last erotic whine she released while she tugged at his dick.

She was aware of his head falling to her chest, face buried in her neck while he pumped his hips against her, driving his cock inside her frantically. She still pulsed around him, his moves drawing out her last waves of release, but she came back to herself to feel him uncontrollably fucking her for his own release. *Oh my dear God…* She was breathing faster now, the sudden realization of what he was doing, of every touch, every grunt and groan, of his breath hitting her neck, his muscles flexing under his skin, sinking in to her over aware mind. And he fucked her so fast and sharp she could scream at the exquisite feel of it. “Jack…” She moaned in a throaty voice. He was going to come inside her and she couldn’t believe it. “Jack… are you…” She started shivering and received him willingly, his erratic, desperate moves and throaty, primal sounds piercing straight to her heart.

“God…” He grunt in her neck. “Yes… I can’t hold back…”

“Jack…” She whispered and the thought that she wanted him to stop, briefly ran through his head invading him with fear. His moves lost all trace of control and wasn’t even aware that Sam held the back of his head with a gentle hand, happily absorbing every feel of him moving above her and inside her.

“Fuck, I can’t…” It didn’t take long for him to come. He plunged inside with a primal growl torn from his chest and the breath hitting her neck roughly with his desperate fight for air. “God, I’m sorry…” He screamed in her neck and she felt his body go stiff over her, tensing and contracting. The kiss she pressed to his hair, the arms she immediately wrapped around him relieved his mind of fear, one second before his orgasm ripped through him. And he came freely inside her, no holding back, no fears, tension exploding and whipping up his spine, his body tensing and convulsing so hard Sam was sure he was going to break a bone. She felt the hot wash of his release inside her and she screwed her eyes shut at the exquisite, incredibly fulfilling feeling she experienced.

He started shaking and twitching once the tension eased away, leaving his hips randomly jerking against her in the last waves of his orgasm, seeking even more of her, trying to go deeper in her. His breathing was fast and labored, his arms shaking with the effort of holding himself up, and Jack weakly lowered himself on her, still careful not to suffocate her. His head stayed helplessly where it was, on her chest, his face hidden in her neck, his hot breath washing over her skin. She felt him start to shiver and once more didn’t know what she was supposed to do. She never had someone come like that inside her. They usually came got off and she could move and clean up. But right now she was sure that if he were to leave her she’d die right there without him.

Sam quickly reached for the sheet and clumsily pulled it as best she could over his sweaty body, her arms once again holding him to her and running through his damp hair. And then out of the blue she felt tears drown her eyes despite her efforts to hold them back. And soon she felt them run down her cheeks and a sob run through her, while she caressed his limp sated body. The shake from her sobs finally cut through the blissful haze of satisfaction Jack was living in and reached his brain, realizing the next second that she was crying. He cursed and forced himself up on his arms again. Maybe she didn’t want him to come like that inside her after all, he’d been too rough, too brutal, took her to savagely, scared her, hurt her, all sorts of scenarios ran through his head in just a second.

“Sam…” He whispered, in a ragged voice, his hands running over her damp cheeks. “Oh, Sam…” He wiped her tears with his thumbs, gently caressing her face. “Sam, Sam, I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry… I didn’t mean to hurt you, please, please…” She furiously rubbed her own eyes.

“You didn’t.” The sudden change in his body surprised her. He relaxed instantly. “Jack… God, no, you didn’t… I just… God… Come here…” She whimpered and pulled him to her chest again, letting him slip slowly and gently out of her, his soft dick offering her one last caress and he cuddled in her arms. She crushed him to her, arms tight and fierce around his shoulders, clutching at him over and over like she was trying to burry him in her soul. “Too perfect…” Was the only thing she could offer him as an explanation for her tears. She didn’t care that he was slowly slipping into sleep, she didn’t care that she didn’t get cleaned up, she didn’t care that she was now lying in their wet spot. All the things she hated, she now loved. They felt right and natural. To have him sleep exhausted on her, to feel their mixed juices run slowly out of her, the wet feel of the sheet under her ass. It was right.

When Sam opened her eyes next it was early evening, a feeling of utter confusion overwhelming her when she didn’t recognize where she was at first. But then she registered the sweet hum of her body, the completely sated feeling and recognized Jack O’Neill’s bedroom. She turned her head to look for him and found him sleeping soundly right next to her, curled in an adorable fashion close to her body warmth. *God, sir… what do you do to me…* She rolled to her side and watched his relaxed face, the shallow breathing, while he slept. She never saw a man like she saw him now. She never saw a man like she had seen him for the past 6 years to start with. But like this, this was like rediscovering life all over again for the first time since her mother died.

If only she had been that good for him. Sam groaned when memories of her awkwardness, of her inexperience flooded back to her mind. She had been so completely lost to what she was supposed to do for him, with him. She had been clumsy, hesitant, every move she did felt like the strangest thing ever. He had to practically explain to her how to fuck with him. “Shit!” She whispered and threw the covers back. Oh, she had enjoyed it, this had been the best sex she ever had in her entire life. But thinking about how she must have been for him, she realized this had probably cured him, so to speak, of whatever romantic feelings he had for her.

Sam got out of bed and suddenly didn’t know what to do. She could just get dressed and leave, spare Jack the trouble of actually having to try and explain to her that he wasn’t interested anymore and find a way to get her out of his house. But then again, what would he think of her if she fucked him and then just left. She wasn’t that kind of a woman. And besides, she could spare him the talk. Just tell him she understood. She really did. She tried to find something to wear besides her clothes. She really needed to wash up before she put those back on, and finally came across the T-shirt he wore. *He wouldn’t mind. Would he?* With a deep breath she decided to risk it and pulled it over her head.

Next thing was food. She was starving and she was seriously going to hurt someone of she didn’t eat. She padded into the kitchen and pulled some food out of the fridge and sat down to eat. That was how Jack found her, only 20 minutes later. Sitting with a leg under her at the table and picking at various foods items. She looked so lost in though he actually felt worried about snapping her out of them. “I was wondering where you went.” He said. Sam’s eyes snapped towards him, to see him leaning casually against the door frame in only a pair of sweatpants and his arms crossed over his bare chest. She forced the food down her suddenly dry throat and felt her body going all tingly at the sight of him. She had no idea the human body could do that. Tingle. It did. Hers did anyway. When she saw Jack looking like that. Hair messed up, bare chest, a pleased and satisfied look on his face and his eyes fixed on her.

“Oh… Hungry.” She smiled shyly at him and saw a soft smile flutter over his lips. Very sweet lips, that felt so good over her skin, sucking and kissing and doing all sorts of things between her legs. Sam shook her head suddenly, to chase the thoughts away.

“Yeah, me too.” He said and took a seat next to her. “I did promise you lunch.” She was picking at her food and shifting in her seat.

“Umm… I’ll just… wash up and get out of your hair. I’m sure you got stuff to do…” She smiled at him again, and her voice was sure and even, but he knew better than anyone when she was nervous. And Sam was very nervous now. When she placed her dishes in the sink he came up behind her and wrapped an arm around her waist, the other one running softly down her neck. He loved this haircut on her. Gave him free access to her long neck.

“Sam, what’s wrong?” She relaxed against him and leaned into his chest. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah…” She took a deep breath when both his arms wrapped around her waist. “That must have been the worst sex you ever had.” She blurted out and he went rigid against her, his arms tightening.

“What?” He couldn’t believe her. “Oh…” His voice softened all of the sudden. “You didn’t… like it…” He whispered and she turned in his arms. “Was it that bad? I mean… I tried to let you do what you wanted… Did I hurt you?” She seriously had to make him stop talking.

“No!” He froze, lips parted to form his next words and eyes locked on her. “No. You didn’t! And I loved it… God…” He saw her eyes water and the sight of her like this melt his heart. “It was the most amazing thing I ever lived.” Her hands framed his face. “You were wonderful, you were so… God, so good, so perfect… It was incredible.” He kissed her lips softly and hugged her to him tightly, burying his face in her neck. She sighed and held him like that. “I meant for you. I had no idea what I was doing, and I am so… so very sorry that I couldn’t… didn’t know how to make this good for you too…”

“Are you serious?” He pulled back from her neck, looking down at her in shock. “Carter… This was the best sex I ever had…” She snorted at him. “Carter! I wouldn’t lie about this.”

“Oh come on sir!” She was looking at him, deifying him, but her hands still played with the short hairs at his nape. “You’re a predator. The women you usually go for are those that know how to please a man.” She saw him blush furiously and for a brief moment she really wished she had a camera. “Those that you can fuck with for real… not…” She looked in the direction of the bedroom. “Not women that you have to teach how to please you. You were probably too busy giving instructions to actually enjoy any of my pathetic attempts of having sex.”

“I see…” He said trying to sound serious. “Then can you tell how come none of those women were able to make me come as hard as you did?” Sam actually stared at him in shock. She knew she was. “Or why none of their lips felt as good as yours did around my dick?” She swallowed repeatedly trying to lose the lump in her throat. “Not exactly the most romantic things I could be saying to you, but apparently you need to hear them. Sam, you… what we did was one of the most amazing moments of my life.” He pulled her against him and kissed her temple, whispering in her hair. “You were the best I ever had. I swear.” She was clinging to him desperately, trying to pull him even closer and pressing the whole length of her body against him, her hands sprawled over his bare back.

Jack’s arms welcomed her gladly, caressing her back, her hair, wrapping around her securely and holding her as tightly as she was holding him. When he pressed a kiss to her neck and Sam answered with a soft sigh and a gentle hand at the back of his head, he did it again and again, placing soft kisses along her neck, and gently sucking on her earlobe. He felt her lips find his neck and she returned each kiss, moving his head back from her and kissing every inch of his neck and licking at his shoulders. He was hardening under the loose fabric of the sweatpants and he tried to put some distance between them before he freaked her. He didn’t know what she wanted and doubted she was up for another round, but she stopped those thoughts with a sure hand that moved between them and gripped his erection through his pants, stroking sensuously up and down his length.

“Sam…” He moved a hand in her short hair and moved her head so he could kiss her. She wasn’t hesitant or unsure now. She knew what to do, when to do it and how and Jack found himself falling helplessly towards her touch, towards the feel of her mouth under his. She was so sweet and careful, following his moves, coming with her own, all to drive any rational thought from him. She was wet and warm, obedient and still with a small trace of insecurities that only drove his primal surges higher. If only she knew how well she was. If only she knew how lost he was in her. And her hand moved so perfectly over him he never wanted her to stop. He would come so beautifully and Sam knew that. She could feel his breathing change, his body shudder and she wasn’t going to stop.

Until his hands gripped her hips and lift her to sit on the kitchen counter. She squealed in his mouth and broke the kiss, both her hands now gripping his shoulders. “Jack…” Her gasping his name was so erotic for a moment he was sure he was going to lose it. His hands moved under the T-shirt and pushed it up and over her head. She didn’t protest, her legs wrapping immediately around his hips and pulling him closer to her, while she started kissing his shoulders. She liked the contours of his shoulders.

“You up for this?” He spoke softly in her ear. She nodded and Sam felt his hands move between them and to the waist band of his pants, she felt him push them off his hips and letting them pool around his ankles. “Tell me if you need me to stop.” She wouldn’t. She did want this and unlike the first time she now knew what to expect, what he felt like. She wasn’t unsure or hesitant anymore. She knew this man, she wasn’t that clueless anymore. Not with him anyway. Everything he had done to her, the way he felt, the way he moved and touched her was forever imprinted in her mind. She knew him now. Maybe better than she knew herself.

Sam spread her legs wider and gripped his arms for support when he shifted her so he could reach her easier. His mouth fastened on her neck as