samandjack.net

Story Notes: E-Mail: Alphafemaleone@hotmail.com

RATING: G

CATEGORY: Musings on an episode, S&J implied UST

SPOILERS: Major spoilers for Seth, and some minor references to TBFTGOG and Politics.

SEASON/SEQUAL: Post Seth (season 3)

CONTENT WARNINGS: One case of very minor language

SUMMARY: Sam wonders what Jack meant

STATUS: Complete

ARCHIVE: Heliopolis, Sam and Jack, all others just ask, please.

DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. I am making no money through this piece of work. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author

AUTHOR'S NOTES: All right! My first S&J! Knowledge of the last 10 minutes or so of the episode Seth is essential to understanding this piece. Don't forget feedback, good, bad, or ugly (good being preferred, of course). And most importantly, enjoy!


"Hail Dorothy."

The scene plays over and over in my mind. His words echo in my head.

"Hail Dorothy."

Two words. Four syllables. Such a seemingly innocent phrase. How can something so simple conceal so much controversy?

"Hail Dorothy."

I didn't mean to kill him. I just wanted to stop him, disable him. In my mind, I did nothing so monumental as kill a witch, though logic would suggest otherwise. Technically speaking, Seth *was* a witch. He was evil, a monster. And I killed him.

"Hail Dorothy."

But I disagree with the logic and reason. I myself feel like a vile, murderous monster. While I did kill an evil foe, I also took an innocent human life. Deep down I know all I did was accidentally activate a piece of alien technology. It was not a great achievement. It only occurred because I was so lucky as to have been blended with Jolinar. I was not personally responsible. It was not my direct doing. So why do I feel so guilty?

"Hail Dorothy."

I don't regret what I did. I killed a monster and saved countless human lives. I did what had to be done, and I can accept that. What worries me most is my team's reaction. Especially the Colonel's. All poetry aside, the bare fact is I killed a goa'uld with his own weaponry, and with ease. I am goa'uld enough to activate the technology. Does this mean I am a goa'uld at heart? That the core of my being is inherently evil? I don't believe so, but the others might.

"You killed him."

"Hail Dorothy."

"Hail Dorothy."

I know I killed him. I can handle the statement. That was just Daniel being Daniel, stating the obvious, and trying to put a semblance of order into his universe. But the Colonel? Jack? What did he mean?

"Hail Dorothy."

Perhaps I'm wrong to assume he meant anything profound. Perhaps he simply felt compelled to lighten the mood, decrease the seriousness of the situation. On the other hand, perhaps I'm wrong to assume his intentions were so menial. Perhaps he was implying more than the obvious.

"Hail Dorothy."

Why does it matter so much what he meant? Why can't I just take it at face value and move on? Why do I care? Oh, who am I trying to kid. I know why I care. I've known for a while - ever since Daniel went through that damn mirror to the alternate reality. Ever since he told us we were engaged to be married. Ever since the Colonel - I try so hard not to think of him as Jack - ever since his only argument against *us* was "It's against the regs." He doesn't care about the regs, and we all know it. I know why I care, and it's because I care about him. For him. He has to feel something - the attraction's too strong to deny. I care because I care. His opinion means so much to me. Which is why I need to know. What did he mean?

"Hail Dorothy."

I killed Seth, felt both horror and joy, and turned to meet my judgement. I was horrified with myself - how would the other's take it? I needed an answer, needed to know if they could still accept me as a human being. I turned towards them, only to be met by that cryptic answer.

"Hail Dorothy."

Was it a compliment? Congratulations, Carter, you killed the wicked witch? Was it meant in mockery? A sarcastic intonation of big whoop, you killed him, so do you think that makes you special or something? Was it just the first thing that came to mind? A flippant remark to ward off the impending seriousness? Just Jack being Jack? Healing everything with a quick quip?

"Hail Dorothy."

I need to know. What did he mean?

"Hail Dorothy."

He's coming this way. Maybe I'll ask him, if I can gather enough courage to do so. If I can face the truth, whatever it may be.

"Hail Dorothy."



The End.




You must login (register) to review.