It's cold out tonight....snowing even. I'm sitting at the window watching it. Nothing else to do tonight......nothing else apart from watch the snow and wonder what Carter's doing....who she's with. Let's face facts here. I know who she's with, and I can pretty much guess what they're doing.
I should go to bed. It's late, I shouldn't be sitting here thinking about Carter. She's moved on, found someone else...it's only right. Missions are going to be a whole lot more comfortable. I won't have to worry about saying the wrong thing, brushing against her accidentally....anything that would make her feel uncomfortable. It's good and he's a nice guy.....Let's forget that I was the one who took her to the party...and I was kinda thinking that I'd be the one to take her home. She looked so darn cute in that sweet little dress. I was hoping she had put it on for me.
Hell, he shouldn't even have been there. He wasn't supposed to be there, Carter told me he was going to be in Outer Mongolia or something. Turns out he wanted to 'surprise her'. She sounded so apologetic when she told me that he was going to drive her home. What did she expect me to do? Punch his lights out? I can't say the thought didn't cross my mind, but it wouldn't have done me any good. No, Jack played nice. He just smiled and said 'No problem, Carter.' I deserve a damn Oscar for that performance.
Never mind that it's Christmas and I spent all day trying to find some mistletoe. It's sitting on the table now...unused...right next to her present. He got her a plane ticket to Paris....My fifty dollar gold necklace wouldn't have compared, so I didn't give it to her. I'll take it back to the store after new years. Maybe they'll feel sorry for me and give me my money back. I can spend it on something for me...like a new hockey shirt....or some beer. More beer would be good right now. I've only got whiskey in the house and if I start on that I'm really in trouble. Not gonna go there, no way...not just because Carter's with some other guy.
No doubt my friends would have lots of great advice for me. Teal'c would want me to fight for her. Janet would, no doubt, remind me that everything I feel for Sam is against regulations....Daniel would tell me that she's happy therefore I should be happy. And I am...really....right up to the point where I bang those red hot nails through my hands.
OK, maybe I'll just have one glass. That bottle of single malt Carter got me last year. I can toast her new found happiness. Before I settle down, I walk around the house turning the lights out, until there's only firelight in the room. Romantic, if there was someone else here besides me. I collapse on the couch and poor myself a shot. Oh it's smooth, very smooth. Carter chose well. Didn't know she was such a connoisseur. There's obviously alot I don't know about her. After all, I wouldn't have thought that she'd go for guy like Joe. Why the hell did we have to send ambassadors to the Tok'ra, anyway? If we hadn't, she would never have met him. I wonder if he's met Dad yet? I don't think Jacob'll like him as much as he likes me.
I should really go to bed. Carter's made her choice and I just have to live with it. One more glass. For some reason I start thinking about that message we got a couple of months back. The one that warned us not to go to P....whatever. Carter was pretty certain that we'd sent that message from the future. Just thinking about that stuff makes my head ache, but I can't help wondering what choices we made in that future...and why we had to change it. Was she with Joe? Hell, she might have married the guy and what did I do about it? Knowing me, I probably skulked off to Minnesota or something.
Now I'm really starting to think too much. My eyes wander towards the phone, wondering if I should call her. I'd just be checking that she'd got home safely. Nothing wrong with that, is there? Nope, probably the wrong time. Wouldn't want to interrupt anything important. Surely they wouldn't have got that far yet. The party would have only just finished. I'll call her, it'll only take a minute.
I pick up the phone and dial her cell phone number. It only rings a couple of times before she answers,
"Hi, it's Jack," I reply.
"Sir? Is everything OK?"
"Yeah....I was just checking that you got home safely."
"Not yet, sir. I'm nearly there though."
Someone knocks at my door. I'm swearing quietly to myself as I say a quick goodbye to Carter before getting up to answer it. Who the hell would be calling at this time of night? Probably Daniel, worried that I'm about to do something stupid.
"OK, OK!" I yell as I yank the door open.
I almost drop the glass I'm still holding. It's Carter. Standing there with her phone in her hand.
"Aren't you going to invite me in?" she asks.
She's still wearing that little dress, somewhat hidden by her down jacket. God she must be freezing.
"Can I get you something?" I ask.
"Chocolate, hot," she replies, her teeth chattering.
She moves closer to the fire, dropping to her knees in front of it. How long was she outside? I didn't hear a car, so she must have walked here. Hot chocolate, must get her some hot chocolate. She needs warming up. It doesn't matter how she got here. Wonder what happened to Joe? When I come back from the kitchen Carter's still by the fire. She's taken off her coat and is warming her toes. It's only as I crouch down beside her that I see what's in her hands. It's the present I got her. She must have seen it on the table. The gold chain is caught between her fingers as she holds it up in the firelight.
"Sir, it's beautiful," she whispers. "Help me?"
I do as I'm bid and fasten the chain about her neck. It looks great with the dress.
"It's not exactly tickets to Paris," I can't help myself.
Carter laughs, "Joe's going to have to get a refund."
I don't know what to say. Carter is sitting here, in my house, after obviously dumping her boyfriend and I have no idea what to do. In the end I decide on the obvious and I pick up the mistletoe. The lips that meet mine are still cold. I break the kiss and wrap her in my arms, forcing the mug of hot chocolate into her hands. We ease back against the couch. Carter's leaning against me, sipping her drink.
"What happened?" I ask.
"Don't know. We got back to his place and I started thinking."
"What about ?"
"Choices. You......I couldn't stay."
"So you walked here?"
"Yes. It was closer than my place."
"Are you complaining?"
"I didn't say that."
Carter rests her head against my chest. She feels a whole lot warmer now, but I'm sure she'd be more comfortable in my bed, under my quilt. I scoop her up in my arms and carry her towards the bedroom. She snuggles into my bed as if it's her own. Moving as quietly as I can, I leave the room, long enough to put the guard in front of the fire. Once that's done, I strip down to my shorts and join her under the blankets. Carter's already asleep. I'm a little disappointed, but not much. After all, I never even thought that I'd get this far. We have plenty of time.
So what now? I can't answer that. We're here, we're together...I guess we'll work out the regulations thing later. One last thought as I drift off to sleep....what would have happened if she had of married Joe?