She turned her attention back to General Hammond. “Could we have a moment… alone, please, sir?
General Hammond spared a glance at O’Neill, who nodded slightly, then looked back to the hauntingly familiar young woman. “Very well, I have some inspections to do…” He picked up a stack of paperwork and left the office.
They were alone now, and her mind was racing, on overload, there were too many things she needed to say, she didn’t know where to start.
Jack then saved her the decision by speaking. “O’Neill? Really?”
She smiled and nodded. “Almost two years ago.” She swallowed hard before continuing. “But he died about a year ago, when the Goa’uld attacked and nearly wiped out the entire planet. I survived through the quantum mirror. It took me and Charles Kowalski to a parallel SGA… they called it the Stargate Command, the SGC… Anyway, they introduced us to the Asgard and the little grey guys chased off the Goa’uld in a matter of moments. We were left with a hell of a mess to rebuild, and a year later we’ve barely put a dent in it…” She faltered, unsure of how to continue.
“So why are you here? If you’re looking for help with the clean-up, you’ve come to the wrong universe. We’re in it just as deep. The Goa’uld were here for quite a while before we got lucky in reaching the Asgard ourselves.” Jack looked at her with guarded eyes. She knew him well, though, and she understood his suspicion.
“I came here to find you, Jack…” She paused, mentally willing him to understand her as well as she understood him. “What was it like? Your relationship with… with your Samantha Carter?”
Jack closed his eyes in a brief wince before he answered. “We were, ah… engaged. Never quite made it to the altar… It was supposed to be… a month after the Goa’uld attack, and she didn’t make it…” He stopped, swallowed hard, and looked at Sam with scrutinizing eyes.
“We were celebrating our first anniversary when the Goa’uld attacked us,” she said quietly. “He died early in the battle…and a part of me died with him. It’s been a year now and I still can’t seem to make it through a single day without crying my heart out. It is hell living without you, and I can’t keep doing it. Then I realized… maybe I don’t have to… I have access to this amazing piece of technology, with the clearance to do anything I want with it… and maybe it’s crazy, but I thought, maybe… just maybe, there’s a Jack O’Neill out there who lost his Samantha Carter and was just as desperate as I was to have her back in his life.”
Jack stared at her for a long quiet moment. “You are not my Sam.”
“And you are not my Jack… but we could be,” she responded, her eyes full of hope.
“You can’t just replace someone like that… It’s wrong… some how,” he said with a frown.
“I can’t live without Jack O’Neill. It is wrong in every way. We’re supposed to be together, and if it means bending the rules of reality, so be it. I need you in my life. Every moment, every accomplishment, even the setbacks, they mean nothing when I can’t share them with you.” She paused and sighed. “I can’t let you go. It’s as simple as that.”
“And I supposed to just drop everything, friends, job, life, you name it, and take a trip through the looking glass with you?” His frown deepened. “Why would I do that?
“Because you love Samantha Carter as much as I love Jack O’Neill. Because everything in your life rings as hollow and empty as mine without your other half.” She leaned in close to him. “Because right now, you can’t imagine another minute without me in it.”
She was too close; he was breathing her scent in with every breath and it was driving him to the brink of something. She even smelled like his Sam. She was close, so close… too close for comfort. He shifted back away from her, sucking in a lungful of air as he moved.
“Am I wrong?” she asked gently.
He looked at her for another long moment, his hot gaze boring into hers. “No… you’re not wrong… You’re absolutely right, living without Samantha Carter is pure hell.” The lines in his brow deepened again as he spoke. “But you aren’t the Samantha Carter I know and—” He broke off, not ready to speak of such emotions with her; she wasn’t his Sam, he kept telling himself.
“No, I’m not. And you’re not my Jack, we’ve already established that. There’s no bringing them back, though. All we can do is move on… and we have the opportunity to do that together. You’re as close to my Jack as I can get… and I am desperate to have you in my life again.” Tears began to well up in her eyes, but she blinked them away. “I know that my Jack would want me to be happy, no matter what. And I know, deep down, I can only be truly happy with Jack O’Neill. That man is my soul mate, my other half, the one thing I can’t live without...” She finally reached her breaking point, unable to keep the tears at bay any longer. They began streaming down her face unheeded.
“This is crazy,” Jack muttered. “But which is crazier, hopping realities, or the fact that I’m actually considering it?”
Her eyes couldn’t be any more full of hope than they were at that moment. Her tongue darted out to moisten her suddenly too dry lips before she spoke. “I consulted with the Asgard before I came out on this crazy mission… and they can prevent you ever suffering from the quantum tremors. It would be completely safe for you to stay… for as long as you wanted…and if you wanted, you could even come back and visit—”
“Not much of anyone I’d want to visit, to be honest. Daniel’s dead, Teal’c went back to Chulak when the Goa’uld attack and no one has heard from him since… and since I have no family left living… that doesn’t leave me with much to tie me here…” Jack shook his head, unable to believe what was about to come out of his own mouth. “What the hell? I’ve got nothing to lose…”
Sam smiled, that beautiful million watt beam that he missed so terribly. Maybe, just maybe this could work. She wasn’t his Sam… but she could be.
She reached a hand out to touch his face. “And a whole new lifetime with me to gain.” He wasn’t her Jack, but he felt just like him. He was close, so close… It would work, it had to. The alternative, living without any version of him, was too much pain for her to bear any longer; it drove her to this desperate measure. He wasn’t her Jack yet, but he would be, eventually. She finally leaned in and closed the last bit of space between them, pressing her lips to his in a kiss as soft as a gently summer rain.
When she pulled away, she looked at him quizzically, unsure of his reaction. After a moment, he smiled ever so slightly. “Not the same… but not bad.”
“It will never be the same,” she replied. “But it can still be good. We were good together… and we will be again.” She grinned, then, a bright tooth baring, eye sparkling smile that his Sam had saved just for him; he realized, suddenly, that she was almost his Sam already, and after only a few minutes together; a lifetime would be plenty of time to fall in love with her all over again. She watched the dawning realization cross through his features, and before he could say a word, she pulled him close, capturing him in another sweet, timeless kiss.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]