“Bluer Than Blue”
Chapter one
Col. Jack O'Neill wasn't sure why he had agreed to this. He usually sat in front of the TV on Wednesday nights watching the Simpsons or a hockey game. At least that's what he did when SG-1 wasn't spending the night on some alien planet. But instead, here he was sitting on a bar stool, about to watch two marines wrestle around in blue Jell-O!
His cohorts on this night out at O'Malley's were Daniel, Teal'c and Janet. It had been the diminutive doctor who had insisted that Jack join them for what she promised would be great fun. Besides, as she explained, half of the money bet on the wrestlers would go to a very worthwhile charity. So he had finally agreed, and now here he was, sitting very uncomfortably with his back jammed up against the bar, while hundreds of patrons tried to squeeze into the little back room of the bar/restaurant. Just for the night the juke box had been moved into the front dining room, and the pool table had been shoved up against one wall, in order to accommodate what looked suspiciously like a plastic, kids' wading pool. It was filled to the brim with jiggling blue Jell-O.
While they waited for the match to begin, most people were concentrating on the two challengers, the men dressed skimpily in tight-fitting Speedo bathing trunks. But Jack's attention was drawn to the blue stuff. 'Who,' he asked himself, 'had spent the last several hours making the stuff? And how did they do it? Did they use a giant mixing bowl? And how many packages of Jell-O did it take to make that much?' Jack wondered, unable to take his eyes off the stuff.
'And why the hell am I finding that blue, quivering mass so interesting?' he finally asked himself. Suddenly it came to him! Blueberry Jell-O was Sam's favorite dessert! In fact, not a day went by that Jack didn't see her eating the damned stuff for lunch. It was a wonder her whole body hadn't turned blue by now, he decided as he watched the two marines step into the pool.
And then the match was on! The two buffed men went down, slipping and sliding in the blue, squishy substance, as their arms and legs wrapped around each other like two mating octopi. First one man would surface, his face set in a grimace as he seemed to get the upper hand. And then he would go down with a spat and a thud, as the other man gained control.
Jack hadn't bet on the match yet, but the waitress who arrived to collect their money, plus Janet's sharp elbow prodding his ribs, reminded him that he really should bet, since half the money was going to a very good cause. He had heard a lot of good things about Houses For the Homeless, and so Jack removed a fifty dollar bill from his wallet and placed his bet, earning a look of appreciation and approval from the base CMO.
"Good for you, Colonel!" Janet told him with a smile. "But my money's on the other guy," she said with a laugh.
"And why is that?" Jack asked, while keeping his eyes on the proceedings. His man was currently on top, but just then his opponent made a quick move and Jack's selection took a dive for the bottom of the pool, while the other man sat on him. The bartender, who was refereeing the wrestling match, blew his whistle and pulled the two men apart. Then they were back at it, and soon Jack's man was on the bottom of the pool again, while the other guy bent his arm and leg back at unnatural angles. Jack cringed, thinking that must really hurt!
"Because," Janet said, shouting at him, "I know Thornton! He was all state wrestling champion at the university where I did my graduate work," she informed him smugly.
"Well now is a pretty bad time to tell me, doc!" Jack complained loudly. Janet just shrugged, as Daniel looked over her head at Jack.
"We're really just here to help the charity, remember?" Daniel reminded him. The archaeologist smiled at Jack in a sort of a Cheshire Cat way, and then he turned to Teal'c and winked. Teal'c actually smiled, and Jack saw him. 'I wonder what's up with those two?' Jack wondered, but his attention was drawn back to the match once again, as his man disappeared under several inches of blue goo.
Jack watched in disgust as his man got the crap knocked out of him. For a charity fund raiser, Jack thought the match was getting way too brutal, and he was about to say something to the bartender when the winner was declared. Janet patted Jack's shoulder. "Sorry, Colonel!" Janet said with a laugh as they got off the bar stools to collect their winnings, before heading back to their booth in the dining room. Meanwhile the loser was helped out of the pool by his friends. Jack noticed that he could barely walk.
"I think your guy fights dirty, Doc," Jack commented. They were all weaving around tables, heading for their booth when Jack suddenly seemed to remember something he wanted to do. "Oh, say, if Jeanie comes around, order me a beer. I gotta take a piss," he said, and then he was sauntering off toward the back room, shouting 'hello' to various people as he went, most of them women.
Janet just rolled her eyes. Jack was a very popular guy whose language was nothing if not colorful, she thought as she followed along behind the other men of SG-1. She thought it was no wonder the other member of SG-1, Sam Carter, had a thing for her CO. As Janet slid into the booth next to Dr. Daniel Jackson, Janet wondered why Sam hadn't come along as she normally did. When Janet had asked Sam what she was doing that was so important, Sam had been evasive. Janet figured that Sam must have a date with that cute Sgt. Simmons, and she intended to ask her friend for all the details in the morning. But right now her mind was on the very appealing Dr. Jackson. The cute archaeologist had no inkling just how much Janet liked him, but one of these days she intended to show him exactly how she felt about him. In fact, maybe tonight she would let Daniel in on her little secret. Feeling emboldened by her third bottle of beer, she scooted over until their hips and thighs were touching, even though there was plenty of room to spare in the big booth.
Jack had carefully made his way around the pool and the wet, sticky mess on the floor, and was just finishing up in the men's restroom when he heard a familiar voice. Was he wrong, or was that his 2iC, Samantha Carter coming in the back door of the bar? He heard the door of the ladies' restroom close, and then he could hear more talking. He couldn't make out what was being said, and so he finished washing his hands, and then he waited out in the short, narrow hallway, intending to ask her why she had said she couldn't join them tonight.
He waited and he waited. Two women went inside and after a little while they came out again, laughing and shaking their heads after they passed Jack. Jack figured he must look like he was trolling for women right outside the women's restroom, which was a pretty embarrassing idea to say the least. He was just beginning to think that hearing Sam's voice had been his imagination playing a trick on him, when the door opened and she finally came out. Jack's mouth dropped open upon seeing her. And when she saw Jack, her face turned as pink as the short, terry cloth robe she was wearing.
"Colonel!"
"Captain! What are you doing here?" he asked, totally unaware of the other woman who had come out of the restroom with Sam. Sam motioned to her, introducing Jack to Captain Amy Walters of the USMC. Jack let the name go in one ear and out the other as he tried to wrap his mind around how Sam was dressed....or rather NOT dressed!
Without thinking he checked her out from head to naked toes and back again, his dark eyes finally settling on her beautiful face.
"Captain Walters is my opponent," Sam told him, as she hugged a colorful, folded towel to her chest. Jack's brain, which was currently taking a siesta, still couldn't connect the dots.
"Your opponent?" he asked, looking at Sam as though she were speaking Greek.
"Yes, my opponent in the Jell-O wrestling match," Sam supplied, finally giving Jack enough information to put two and two together. His eyes opened to twice their normal size, and his mouth flew open.
"Oh! OH!!! WOW!"
"I hope you're in a betting mood, Colonel," Amy said as she slipped past him and into the bar. It was only then that Jack noticed Amy was wearing only a skimpy, neon-orange bikini. Jack's mouth had barely had a chance to close, before it was hanging open once again. Feeling his groin beginning to swell, he held his breath, and Sam just stood there clutching her beach towel to her chest for several more seconds before she finally moved.
"Well, I guess I had better...." Sam didn't finish whatever it was she was about to say. Instead she began to move around Jack, who slammed his body up against the wall, scurrying to get out of her way as though he was afraid she might touch him. He wasn't sure what would happen if their bodies did touch, but a sudden image of him coming in his pants danced across his immobilized brain.
"Oh! Oh, yah, sure! Don't let me stop you from....wrestling!"
Jack just stood there dumbfounded, watching as his 2iC padded on bare feet into the bar room. It took him a few seconds to gather his wits and head in the same direction, praying that no one would see how turned on he was. Tugging his shirt down in front he dashed over to the bar, but all the stools were already occupied....by men. Apparently many of the male patrons had already known there was to be another match, and that it was to be between two women. Jack saw his friends over on the other side of the room, standing in front of the pool table, and so he joined them.
"Sam's gonna wrestle! Can you believe it!" Janet yelled at him. Then she jumped up and down and squealed, grabbing Daniel around the middle and giving him a squeeze, which he returned enthusiastically. Jack just looked around at the crowd and nodded, still in a sort of daze.
Daniel looked at Teal'c and grinned. The big Jaffa smiled back and regally nodded his bald head. He and Daniel were big wrestling fans, and when they'd heard about this contest, and that an opponent was needed for Capt. Walters, they had quickly volunteered their teammate, Captain Carter. And to their surprise it had not taken long to convince her to participate. As they explained it to Sam, they honestly thought she could win, and the Air Force needed a champion just now, since the marines had recently won all of the sanctioned games between the two long-time rivals.
But Teal'c and Daniel had another reason for wanting Sam to wrestle. Not only did they believe she had a good chance of winning, but they were both eager to observe Jack's reaction as he watched his beautiful captain rolling around in a pool of blue Jell-O in nothing but a skimpy bikini. Teal'c, for one, was very pleased to be witnessing this exciting Earth mating ritual for the first time. As Daniel Jackson had put it, "Jack won't know what hit him!"
The bar quickly became packed with mostly men who were eager to see Capt. Amy Walters, well-known female, marine triathlon winner, and her opponent, a not so well-known Captain, who some had heard worked at the maximum security facility beneath Cheyenne Mountain. Not only didn't they know if Capt. Carter was a skilled wrestler, they had no idea what she really did for a living. And so the betting commenced with a flurry of wagers in favor of Capt. Walters, with only a few willing to bet against what appeared to be a sure thing.
As the crowd grew, the two female opponents stood behind the bar and out of the crowd, waiting for the bartender to announce the beginning of the match. Jack, who was taller than many, but still not as tall as he wished at times like this, stood at the back of the crowd. Janet, who was very petite, had climbed onto the pool table and stood in her stocking feet, while Daniel put one protective arm around her jean-clad legs, presumably to steady her. In reality, Daniel had decided recently that if Janet wanted him, he was going to let her have him. After all, life was what you made of it, and he'd had enough of playing the grieving husband.
Teal'c leaned against the wall next to Jack, a smug smile gracing his usually serious face.
"You knew about this, didn't you?" Jack asked him. Teal'c's expression never changed, but he did bow his head once more.
A waitress came around and the patrons placed their bets. Janet and Daniel looked at each other and suppressed knowing smiles when Jack handed her a one hundred dollar bill, betting it all in Sam's favor. Once all the bets were placed, the crowd quieted down a bit as Amy and Sam came out from behind the bar. There were a few wolf whistles as Sam removed her terry cloth robe, revealing a very skimpy, hot pink bikini. Then the two women faced off on opposites sides of the twelve-foot-wide pool, while the referee repeated the rules of the contest.
Upon seeing Sam's body in the tiny swim suit, Jack's not-so-little colonel stood at attention, tenting his pants to the point that he thought it might push right through the fabric of his beige Dockers. He couldn't remember ever experiencing this strong a reaction in a public place before, and the experience almost made him want to run and hide. But there was no way he was going to miss this! Doing a little dance to try and rearrange his erection to a more comfortable position, Jack waited nervously for the whistle to sound. When it did, the two women stepped into the pool of blue Jell-O and began moving slowly around the perimeter, jockeying for position. In less than five seconds Capt. Walters had Sam on her belly in the blue stuff, bending one long Carter leg up over her back. Jack cursed an appropriately blue streak, throwing his fist up in the air, and causing everyone near him to glance his way. Unaware of his audience, the Colonel began to edge closer to the pool, forgetting the telltale bulge in his pants as he shoved people aside in his eagerness to get closer to the action.
Suddenly Sam maneuvered her way out from under Captain Walters, who was a few inches shorter than Sam but about ten pounds heavier. Sam got up quickly and easily jumped to one side, just as Amy dived to tackle her. Slipping and unable to stop herself, Amy flew out of the pool and landed on the floor on her face with a resounding splat. The referee blew his whistle, and the match was called to a halt while two members of Amy's unit went to her aid. Sam wiped the Jell-O out of her eyes and slicked her hair back off her face. Then she stood there to one side, her arms wrapped across her chest protectively.
Teal'c used the break in the action as an opportunity to give a knowing nod to his co-conspirator, Daniel. But Daniel had a very affectionate doctor wrapped around his neck and didn't notice the big Jaffa looking at him. To Teal'c it seemed that Daniel Jackson was the one benefiting from this mating ritual, instead of Jack O'Neill. He decided that more research would need to be done on this matter, and turned back to enjoy the remainder of the match.
While Jack waited with the rest to see what would happen next, his erection had time to deflate somewhat, but his heart was still hammering in his chest with excitement. He had seen his 2iC in hand-to-hand combat only once before, but that time she had been fully clothed. This time there was little left to the imagination, as her suit bottom rode up her firm buttocks, and the top barely contained her full, plump breasts. Sam tugged at the bathing suit bottom as she waited to see if the fight would continue. Jack almost had a stroke when she turned her back to him and he saw a small tattoo on one smooth mound. Due to the fact that it was covered in a thin film of blue, he was unable to tell what it was.
And so he just stared at it, his mind in a sort of limbo until things began to happen. Amy was helped to stand up and was led off down the back hallway to a round of applause. Then the bartender announced that the fight couldn't go on, because Amy had knocked out a tooth and was being taken for emergency medical treatment. A few men in the crowd booed, but no one seemed to want to leave. Then there was some discussion between the bartender and a group of marines, among them, Captain Jeff Thornton, the one who had won the earlier match.
Jack watched as the bartender spoke to Sam, who nodded her head in return. Then it was announced that Thornton would fill in for Amy, so that the money that had been bet would not have to be refunded. Having seen the marine's prowess in the earlier match, as well as his overly-zealous attitude, Jack was very concerned for Sam. He pushed and shoved his way to the front of the crowd and called out to Sam.
"Hey, Carter, I don't think this is such a good idea!" Jack yelled at her. Sam glanced his way, but just then the whistle blew and she had to dodge her opponent when he lunged for her. But Jack was not about to just stand by and watch his 2iC get the crap beat out of her by this guy, and so he stepped into the pool, his hands out toward the marine. "Come on now, stop this!" Jack yelled at him.
"Hey, old man, get out of the way!" the younger man yelled at Jack.
"Let them fight!" yelled a man in the crowd. "Get him outa there!" someone else screamed. And now everyone in the place was yelling for Jack to get out of the way, including Sam who shouted and waved her arms, trying to get him to leave. She was standing there in nothing but two small scraps of fabric. Her hair was plastered to her head, and there were hundreds of small pieces of the blue dessert congealed on her long lean thighs and her thin shapely arms, and Jack thought she looked good enough to eat. He also thought she looked young and defenseless.
"Sir! Sir, don‘t worry! I can take care of myself!" she yelled at her CO, as the bartender tried to reach Jack without actually stepping into the pool himself.
"Come on, Colonel, let the kids fight!" the bartender yelled at him. But Jack wasn't about to give up.
"Carter, I saw this guy in the first match! He doesn't play by the rules!" Jack yelled.
"Why you old son of a bitch!" the younger man growled, as he heard the insult to his reputation. And that was when Thornton took a sudden swing at Jack.
Fortunately Jack figured the guy might react this way. He saw the punch coming and ducked. At the same time he jabbed the marine in the gut with his left hand and swung hard with his right as he straightened up, hitting the marine square in the jaw. Thornton landed on his back with a squash and a thump. The crowd cheered and applauded when Jack's punches made contact, but they quickly fell silent as they watched three of Thornton's comrades lift his limp body out of the pool and carry him away. The crowd figured the show was over, so with disappointed murmurs and shaking heads they began to disperse.
TBC
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]