Dances
The large festival room was beautifully decorated, and looking very formal for the event. It was big, with round tables lined up around a small dance floor and a stage, where an announcer had been entertaining guests ever since she arrived.
Sam was looking at the announcer, who was just now giving a long speech to greet everybody to the event. She knew it was probably going to be another one of those boring long speeches that she hated on events like these. And it only helped to lengthen the time of her torture. She saw the aides going from person to person in the room, informing the respective winners of the auction, and she braced herself when she saw McKay, who was waiting impatiently for the aides to reach him, wave at her from the other side of the room.
Great, she sighed. This was going to be a nightmare. She despised the scientist. But even more she despised the fact that the make-up artists hired for the event had dressed her up like a Barbie doll. And most of all she despised the fact that she had no chance of getting back out of it.
Because this was essentially a publicity event with the sole intent of promoting the great successes of the armed forces, she had to leave the choice of dress and make up entirely up to them. When she had looked in the mirror after her transformation, she had not even recognized herself. Her body was wrapped in a black dress that was tied right under her breasts (which were pushed up cleverly with a push-up bra, that made her look ridiculous in her opinion) with a tight sash and then flowing over her hips to her upper thighs, revealing her perfectly long legs. She had to wear incredibly high heels that had made her feet hurt after only 5 minutes of walking. And her hair! They had managed to style her usually untamed short hair in a fashion that made her look like an 80s pinup girl.
Objectively speaking, she had been both amazed and embarrassed by how they had made her look, but it was bugging her the most that she would be looking like this for Rodney McKay – who, undoubtedly, would spend most of the evening hitting on her, touching her – dancing with her. She shuddered slightly. Why of all days did they have to choose this one to reduce her to her physical features, when she would have to spend the evening with a fellow scientist who neither respected her professionally, nor as a woman?
Sam was so lost in her vengeful thoughts that she didn’t even notice the presence of the tall man who was walking up next to her seat now. She almost jumped when she heard the low voice right next to her ear.
“You look like you could need some entertainment.”
She gasped and turned her head in surprise, immediately recognizing the voice. “Sir!” She exclaimed with an audible tone of gladness in her voice. Then she almost dropped her glass at the sight of him. He was wearing his dress blues, that emphasized his muscular upper body, and was looking at her with the sexiest smile she had seen him give her since… ever.
“You look … tense,” he teased her with the hint of a smile, and took seat at the same table on the chair right next to her, ignoring her confused, but also interested look.
“I didn’t know you would be here Sir! I didn’t see you before.”
“Wasn’t here before, I just arrived a few moments ago.” He informed her and then looked at her, taking in her every feature, and smiled slightly.
“What?” Sam asked after a short moment, smiling back somewhat insecurely, her fingers at the glass with champagne that was standing in front of her on the table.
“Nothing,” he answered amused, not taking his eyes off of her. Damn, they had done a good job. She was looking like a walking sin. The dress did nothing to hide her perfectly in shape figure, and revealed those incredibly long legs, and her breasts – damn. Easy there, he reminded himself. After all he was here in order to help a fellow officer, not to make advances on her.
“Well, Sir, I think I will have to leave – unfortunately.” Sam remarked with an apologetic smile and started to get up. Jack raised his eyebrows.
“Oh?”
“Yes, I can see Dr. McKay waving at me - he has been for quite some time. I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of having to come get me. I want to keep at least one tiny ounce of dignity after he practically forced this date on me and the make-up department put me in this ridiculous outfit.” She winced.
“Hey,” Jack caught her wrist as she was slowly walking by him, and she stopped instantly, looking at his hand touching her arm with a mixture of shock and thrill. They touched so rarely – and even if they did it was hardly skin on skin, and not in the context of a social event – that his touch both electrified and scared her.
“S-sir?” she asked, insecurely, not pulling her hand out of his touch however.
“Sit down,” he said gently. Upon her merely staring at him with her wide, blue eyes, he had to chuckle. “That’s an order.”
“Um, yes, Sir,” she nodded, remembering that he was her co after all, and sat down on the chair to his other side, simply because it was closer than the chair she had used before – in these shoes every additional step had become hell. Then she looked at him expectantly. “Sir?”
He simply passed her a small piece of paper in an envelope, while his eyes were fixated on the speaker who was still speaking about this year’s donations. She took it and opened the envelope. After she had pulled the small white card out, she gasped, and her brain took a moment to register the meaning of what she was reading:
Colonel Samantha Carter – Leading Astrophysicist
Winning Bid: General Jack O’Neill
“Sir!” She gasped and looked up at him. “I… you… um… how did you...”
“All I did was make a donation to the veteran’s fund,” he commented dryly, with a sparkle in his eyes. “After calling the officers in charge of the auction and inquiring to know the exact amount of McKay’s bid.”
“But Sir…” Sam looked slightly guilty. “Isn’t that against the rules?”
“Not that I am aware of. McKay doesn’t have to pay; only the winning bid does so no need for guilt.” Then his eyes twinkled with humor. “I do however expect an entertaining evening with the leading astrophysicist of the Air Force!”
She couldn’t help but smile openly at him. “Well Sir, I can’t promise that. You tend to get bored when I talk about science.”
“Carter.” He said, drawling her name slightly. “Do you seriously want to tell me that science is all you can have a casual conversation about?” Upon seeing her face, he sighed, suspecting that actually it was. “Do me a favor, and forget that I am your CO tonight. No ‘Sir’s, no alien talk, and no science. Understood?”
“Yes, Ssss…” she winced when he looked at her in mock reproach, and had to laugh softly at her own almost-slip. “I’ll do my best.”
They spent the next half hour in silence, listening to the rest of the boring welcome speech. It was the same as every year, honoring the deeds of the Armed forces abroad and praising the heroisms of its member. The speech seemed so oblivious to what they were actually doing every day, and how often they had saved earth, that it was simply not interesting to either of them. Finally, when the speaker left the stage, followed by a short round of applause, the entertainer of the evening, a singer with her band, took stage and started her program of singing slow songs to lure couples onto the dance floor.
“So, what are your plans for Independence Day?” he finally broke the ice, and Sam looked up from the glass that she had been desperately holding on to during the past half hour.
“I actually don’t have any. Cassie is spending the weekend with friends up in Canada, so, I think I will just stay home, curl up on my couch and watch movies. What about you… Jack?” she hesitated a short moment before saying his name, not sure if it was inappropriate in this context. He shot her a surprised look at the use of his name, but then his mouth turned into a gentle smile, and he held her eyes deeply.
“Essentially the same. Except for the cheesy movies.”
She nodded, and smiled at him nervously, then turned her eyes back on her glass. She really didn’t know what to say to him, because simply his presence was making her feel insecure. She couldn’t forget that he was her commanding officer. There were so many lines that were dangerous to cross with him, especially in the light of how she was feeling about him – and her insecurity about whether he was still feeling the same as he had four years before. Sam had never asked him why he and Kerry had broken up, and he didn’t speak about the whys. He had simply let it slip one day, when she had made a comment about her, that he wasn’t seeing her anymore.
“Wow,” he finally said amused. “You weren’t kidding, when you said you’re bad at this.”
She winced apologetically. “I’m sorry, Sir!”
“Ah, ah, ah! Carter!” he said in a reproaching manner. “Tell you what, for every time you call me Sir or General tonight, you have a drink. You need to loosen up.”
She narrowed her eyes, and then watched as he was signaling one of the waiters.
“What would you like?”
“Um… vodka martini?” she offered, and he relayed her order to the waiter, who rushed off to get the desired drink. Sam followed him with her eyes and then looked back at her superior officer.
“You look beautiful tonight, Sam.” His voice was low, his tone playful, and she couldn’t help but feel flattered by the comment.
“Thank you, so do you. Not… beautiful of course. Handsome.” Way to go, Sam, calling your superior officer handsome. That definitely crossed a line! She hurried to add, “but not in an inappropriate manner. Not that I…”
“Sam,” he interrupted her.
“Good, Sir. You look good is what I meant.” She realized too late that she had slipped again, and after she was just shooting him a happy look about having saved her statement, her eyes widened in shock. “Jack! I mean Jack! Oh God, I’m so sorry. I’m trying!”
It was visible that she was really putting effort into this – albeit failing miserably. He chuckled, and just at that moment the waiter returned with her drink. He thanked him, and then put the glass in front of the young woman. “Drink up, all of it.”
At first it looked like she was going to contradict, but then she took the glass and downed the contents at once, feeling the strong alcohol run down her throat and leave a pleasant burning sensation that was warming her up.
After that, he engaged her in a light-hearted conversation about their surroundings: the singer, the other guests and the other officers who had been auctioned off. McKay had won another auction and one of the poor male scientists now had to bear with his obnoxious manners and his arrogance. The poor guy looked like he was about to run out of the room any minute.
After a while, Jack noted with delight, that the young woman was becoming more and more relaxed, even daring. She was openly holding his eyes, smiling, and she even responded to some of his flirtatious comments with an equally provocative answer. It was obvious to him that she was more at ease, and less over-thinking; and in some moments he was actually beginning to wonder whether she was making attempts at flirting with him.
Knowing Carter however, it wouldn’t have surprised him, if this soft lick of her lips while she was looking at him, or the way she touched her neck with her hands while listening to him, were entirely subconscious.
After all she was a geek, who could spend hours in a lab and notice the slightest alteration in frequencies or whatever – he on the other hand had a lot more experience with people, and mostly with women. Before his marriage with Sarah he had actually been quite the ladies’ man, and he had learned to pay attention to the subconscious signs of physical attraction.
Eventually, Carter excused herself for a moment to go to the restroom. He looked after her when she was walking towards the restrooms, and couldn’t help but admire her outfit. Damn, the army’s hired make-over artist deserved an award. Not that he didn’t appreciate her usual look, but this version of her was just feminine, sexy, hot. Yes, hot. And so damn f*ckable. He winced and took a sip of his drink.
He shouldn’t even be thinking about her this way. This was Carter, his kick ass 2IC whom he’d come to respect over the years, not just as a scientist and a soldier, but also as a woman. But then again, he defended himself in his thoughts; it was not like he just wanted to have sex with her. No, sex, was just one – granted a very pleasurable one – of the things he wanted to share with her.
Sam looked at herself in the mirror of the luxuriously designed ladies room and sighed, leaning her hands onto the cool surface of the wash counter. She felt like she was making a big mistake just engaging in her CO’s dangerous game. She was not oblivious to the fact that their conversation was probably a bit too casual for the event.
She was sure that it was visible to the entire room that she was in love with him, and that was not a good thing. That was what started rumors, destroyed reputations and ended careers. She had to get herself together and become the professional again.
However, that was easier said than done, and the soft spinning that she felt in her head from the alcohol certainly wasn’t helping. She splashed a bit of cold water into her face, and then returned to the table, hoping to have regained her composure.
Jack O’Neill smiled when he saw her approach the table. Damn, she was looking even hotter from the front, he thought, and before he could process his own intentions he had gotten up, and reached his hand out to her. “Dance with me?”
His question took her a moment to register, and eventually she nodded, albeit reluctantly, “Okay.” This answer sounded more like a question, and he raised his eyebrows quizzically.
“Unless you would rather…”
“No,” Sam replied quickly with a soft, albeit insecure, smile. “Let’s dance.”
She put her hand in his outstretched one and allowed him to lead her to the dancing floor where a few other couples were dancing already. Unexpectedly, he spun her around slowly and pulled her into his arms – with an appropriate amount of distance between them.
She giggles softly at the surprise of having suddenly been spun around as well as finding out that he was actually good enough a dancer to guide her body and making her (who was actually rather bad at dancing) follow his movements. Of all the things she knew about him, she would have never thought that he could dance.
If only her heels weren’t so extremely high, and her feet hurting so badly that she felt like stumbling every second.
“Carter…”
“Sir?”
Ignoring her repeated slip of calling him by rank with a sigh, he looked at her in a mixture of fascination and confusion, “Relax. I am not fond of taking the female part while dancing, so can you let me lead?”
She blushed and tried to relax, her mind desperately trying to guess where he would step next, so that she could follow. It wasn’t that she couldn’t dance at all, but the last time she had formally danced with somebody had been at her prom, and after that she usually engaged in close body dances with men or avoided social events that required dancing all together. In addition to that, by now, her feet – or rather legs - were starting to kill her.
It was a mess. This should be a pleasant and joyous occasion; she was dancing with her CO whom she was incredibly in love with – had been for years – and she couldn’t even dance.
When she stepped on his foot the next moment, she muttered what sounded like a curse and broke free from him in a desperate surrender to her apparent inability to dance - even though he was gentleman enough not to let his face show any sign of her slip.
“I’m so sorry!” She stepped away from him, her face displaying the embarrassment she felt inside. “I… This… is just a bad idea, Sir.”
She was already turning around to walk back to their table, when his hand grabbed her upper arm and pulled her gently back against him. “What do you think you’re doing?” he murmured against her hair close to her ear.
“Going back to the table, before I accidentally break your foot or seriously hurt you otherwise, Sir?”
“Running off the dance floor mid-song, colonel? You have any idea what that will do to my reputation?” he asked her in mock offense, and after staring at him blankly for a few seconds, she couldn’t help but smile faintly.
“It’s not you Sir. I haven’t danced formally in ages, and frankly, these heels that they put me in are killing me. I keep stumbling, my feet hurt, just now I stepped on your toes – and frankly, right now you must think I am the clumsiest...”
“Sam,” he said gently, and pulled her against his body, closer this time so that his chin was touching the strands of hair that were hanging into her face. His left hand took hers gently, while his other hand slipped around her waist, holding her firmly against him without the necessary formal distance between their bodies. They were almost in full contact, as they were just swaying on the dance floor without any complex dance moves, his arm holding her securely against his body, while at the same time giving her the chance to lean against him for balance. “How about this?”
“Much better, Sir,” Sam replied, gratefully. “Except for my shoes which are still killing me.”
“You could always just lose them,” he offered with a sexy smile and then bend to her ear to tease her. “I promise I won’t step on your toes.”
The way he whispered the words gently against her skin in a deep, sexy voice, while at the same time his hot breath hit the sensitive skin of her neck made her shiver. She leaned her forehead against his shoulder and chuckled softly at his words which were a clear pun at her earlier misstep.
“What can I say Sir, I am good with guns and combat – and science. I’ll have your back in the field, but on the dance floor I’ll be the one you have to watch….”
Oh hell, yes, you are, but for a different reason, he thought quietly without saying it. And he was absolutely sure that she was not even aware of how beautiful and sexy she looked. Anything that went beyond her little gadgets and calculations in her lab, she seemed to be completely oblivious about. But then again, that was part of what he loved about her: her dedication, her excitability about things that he found absolutely boring, her passion about science – while at the same time being a kick-ass soldier and loyal person that had shown hundreds of times that he could absolutely count on her.
“Well… I would offer you a training session on the dance floor, but I think the other guests would find that pretty disturbing,” he joked and again she laughed softly, her head now leaning fully against his shoulder.
“I appreciate the gesture, Sir.”
“Carter… is it that hard for you to not call me Sir?”
“Would be easier if you weren’t wearing your dress blues,” she admitted, and he nodded.
“Ok… point taken,” he noted with a chuckle.
They remained silent and just swayed to the music. The singer on stage, a young girl who had recently won one of television’s casting shows, was switching from blues to romantic music now, and her soul-like voice filled the room.
At the change of songs, Jack stopped dancing and looked at the young woman in his arms.
“We can go back to the table now if you want.”
“I don’t know,“ Sam replied reluctantly and with the hint of a smile. “I was just getting the hang of it. Unless you want to…”
“Not a chance,” he interrupted her before she could even finish and pulled her back against his body, even closer than before so that their bodies were now brushing against each other. On second thought, he mused, this had probably not been the best idea. He was holding her so close in his arms, that her breasts were touching his chest and her scent filled his nostrils, and he was having a hard time concentrating on the music and getting his body and trail of thoughts under control as it was.
They just swayed on the dance floor to the music, as the singer kept performing more and more songs and gradually as the evening processed, turned to the very slow songs. Neither of them counted the songs, or stopped their dancing, and by the time the singer had reached “Smoke Gets in your Eyes”, they were swaying in full body contact, with Sam’s arm around his neck, her fingers gently stroking the hair at the back of his head every now and again, and his hand lying slightly lower than what would have been appropriate. But nobody was watching them, or even paying remotely attention to them, and it was not like they were being inappropriate. It just seemed natural, and neither of them minded.
Her head was lying against his shoulder, and they had been quiet for a while, when Jack finally bent his head a little. His skin brushed that of the young woman and the hint of a smile played around his mouth. “Are you thinking about quarks?”
She couldn’t help but burst out in soft laughter. “No, Sir. Why do you ask, are you?”
“Carter,” he replied in a tone that by itself told her, how ridiculous that idea was. “You were just being really quiet.”
“And that automatically means I am thinking about science?”
“It usually does.”
He was right and they both knew it. Sam shook her head. “No, Sir, I was just…” Yes, what had she been doing? Focusing her entire self on the feeling of his body against hers, and how warm his body was, and how the touch of his hand through her dress made her skin tickle in just the most sensual way. All of which was inappropriate to say. Hell, it was even inappropriate to think – or feel! She couldn’t believe she had permitted her mind to be lulled in to the point where she allowed herself to cross that dangerous boundary.
“Just what?” The gentle tone of his voice brought her back into reality, and Sam froze and loosened from his arms.
“Thinking that my feet can’t stand this anymore,” she replied with a more neutral voice, having returned to her professional soldier self. “Do you mind if we return to the table?”
“No, sure,” he replied. “The room is clearing out anyway; I think they might expect us to leave soon.”
“Well, Sir, this was originally intended to be a two hour event.”
“I feel cheated,” he replied with a boyish mock-insult in his voice, and she looked at him and raised her eyebrows.
“Sir?” She was just about ready to apologize to him for having been such lousy company, when his next statement surprised her.
“There wasn’t even cake!” he explained his outrage and she couldn’t help but start giggling. “What? For the amount they expected you to pay to get in, you would imagine that they at least serve cake!”
“Well, there is a buffet over there,” Sam offered, looking over at the far side of the room, where waiters were already cleaning the first plates off the buffet. “I doubt there’s cake though. I saw salmon and caviar.”
“But no cake!” he kept insisting. “Somebody should write them a letter about that.”
They kept chitchatting and joking lightly, while they left the building, walking side-by-side next to each other. It was warm outside, despite the fact that the sun had almost set.
“Thank you, Sir,” Carter said finally when they were standing outside on the wide stairs that led into the entrance hall. When she saw him raise his eyebrows in question, she clarified, “You know… for saving me from an evening with McKay.”
She gave him a smile: one of those whole-hearted Carter-smiles that he always tried to provoke from her. “Gladly. Anytime. And hey, I got to dance with you, so it was worth it.”
She chuckled softly, but kept her eyes locked with his in an intense look. “I would have been better if they hadn’t made me wear the most unpractical shoes for the event.”
“I don’t know…” he replied back and locked at her legs. “They do one hell of a job at making your legs even longer, which works especially well in combination with that rather short dress, so if I had to judge – yeah, worth it.”
She cocked her head to the side slightly and locked at him in one of her mock-annoyed glances. He smiled flirtatiously and leaned in slightly.
“In case nobody told you, you look gorgeous,” he rasped. He noted how her body tensed slightly as he approached her, and she dropped her eyes.
Jeez, Carter, he thought. How much more obvious was he supposed to be in his flirtations? He had broken up with Kerry (well, actually she had broken up with him, but who cared), and he had made that fact known to her. He had assumed that, after she had shown up in his backyard and started stuttering Carter-style about her doubts about a marriage with Pete, she had been willing to take the next step. Maybe he had misunderstood her signals. Maybe she had given up on him after they were interrupted by Kerry coming out of the house. After all she had started saying something along the lines that if she didn’t tell him then, she would never… Or maybe she had actually just wanted to talk. He could only guess.
Ever since his break-up, he had been throwing her bits and pieces of information, signaling that he was open to whatever suggestion she had concerning their relationship – or rather the lack thereof. But she kept avoiding the subject in that awkward Carter-eske style. The ball was in her court. He couldn’t make the first move, not without risking being court-martialed for harassment or coming towards a subordinate. Not that he believed she would report him, but he was more worried what it might do to their friendship if he had completely misunderstood her.
He retreated from her body and turned towards the parking lot. “Now, let’s hope the streets are not too crowded with the holiday travelers,” he noted. “Otherwise the way home will take forever – relatively spoken,” he remarked with an amused side-glance at her, noting with satisfaction that she failed at suppressing an amused little smile – the way she always did when he tried to talk ‘physics’.
It was the only reason why he even still tried to do it: if he succeeded, he impressed them both, and if he failed he caused those little smiles of amusement on her face that he absolutely adored. Although he wasn’t able to determine what he preferred: her smiling, or her staring at him in absolute astonishment mixed with pride about the fact that he had listened to her.
“Are you going up to your cabin over the holiday, Sir?”
“No, no, actually I was thinking about just getting some stuff around the house done. You know… things like filling up the fridge, smaller repairs. Do you have a ride home?” he asked, and she nodded.
“Yes, Sir, I came in my own car, and only had one drink so I’ll be fine.”
“Alright.” Another moment of awkward silence. Then he decided to try one last time. She was Carter after all; maybe she didn’t realize that the ball was in her field. Hell, maybe she didn’t even know that there was a ball – figuratively spoken. She barely seemed to notice anything besides… quarks.
He kept looking at the parking lot, blinking towards the reddish light of the setting sun. “Hey, since you don’t have anything planned tomorrow, and I don’t have anything planned tomorrow – wanna have dinner tomorrow evening? You know, go to a place that has cake and make up for what we missed tonight?” he said in a light, joking manner, and she looked up at him slightly confused.
“Seriously? … Um… yes, sure, why not… Are Teal’c and Daniel coming too?”
“Um…” He turned his head, baffled at her answer. Somebody should really shake some sense into this geek-woman. “No, actually it would be you… and me.” Upon seeing her face become more serious with slight awkwardness displayed on it, he shrugged and added, “And of course all the strangers at the restaurant. A many-people meeting if you wish – of which you would probably only know me.”
“Um,” she interrupted him hesitantly. “Like… a date, Sir?”
Yes, Carter, like a date! “Um… no. No, not at all,” he replied and saw her relax visibly. “Just two people… friends if you wish,” he gesticulated between them to indicate the relationship, “spending a relaxed, fun evening together.”
This was never going to work unless he was faster than her busy, constantly over-analyzing brain. He wanted her to be relaxed, easy, fun Carter that he knew, and not some kind of nerve wreck who was over-thinking every part of her behavior. He had been with enough women to know how to woo them – but as long as she was overthinking, she was effectively blocking all his woo-power so it was time to try a different approach. Although the kind of hesitation she displayed at this very moment was probably not speaking in his favor, he thought quietly.
“Come on, Carter. We have served together for what, 8 years now? We’ve been out eating before.”
“Okay,” she finally nodded. “No, you’re right, I see no reason why not, Sir. I’d be glad to.”
“Great. 8pm okay for you?”
“Yes, absolutely. Where are we going?” she asked, while they were slowly walking down the parking-lot now.
“Not telling you, let me surprise you,” he smiled.
“Okay, but how will I know what to wear then?”
“Wear something nice, but something that you’re comfortable in. No shoes that cause you pain… or other pieces of fashion that you don’t like,” he said, gesticulating towards her shoes and appearance. “It’s not gonna be anything too fancy, just some place with… cake. You know me…” His matter-of-fact statement made her smile and turn to him.
“I’m looking forward to it, Sir,” she smiled openly at him. Her smile, and the way that the evening sun lightened up her face made her look absolutely radiant, and for a moment he just smiled back at her, his eyes locked with hers intently.
Until she turned away slightly awkwardly and looked at the other side of the lot. “Alright, my car is parked over there so…”
“So…” he continued, “I’m gonna come get you at your house tomorrow at 8.”
“Yes, Sir.”
They looked at each other, and Sam was desperately thinking of something else to say, when he turned around. “See you tomorrow, Carter.”
She watched his back as he was walking away from her, and then slowly turned around to stroll towards her car, clutching her little purse with her hand. Good God, she had agreed to go out to dinner with her commanding officer, and it would be just them. He was right, they had gone out eating or drinking dozens of times before, but it had never been just them. There was usually Daniel and Teal’c around.
Ever since her father had died, she hadn’t been sure how to behave towards him. She had wanted to confess to him in his backyard, and it had taken all of her courage to work up the nerve to actually go there – and it had ended in a disaster.
She was sure that he knew what she had been about to say – there was something in the way he had looked at her, first in confusion, and then his expression slowly changing to utter astonishment - until Kerry had interrupted them. Then it was nothing but awkwardness. She hated awkwardness. And she hated dating and feelings. She was not good at it – she had never been. Sure, she had no problems finding men willing to date her or going all crazy over her, but usually things had a tendency to turn out disastrous, mildly put. Either they ended up dead, or turned out to be aliens, or they simply weren’t her type – which didn’t prevent them from keeping trying.
But Jack O’Neill was her type. He had been for years, even though her analytical mind had not been able to come up with one logical reason for why that was the case. They had nothing in common, their interests were completely different, they enjoyed different pastimes and even television shows, and yet, for some reason, she enjoyed his company more than she had ever enjoyed anyone else’s company. Maybe exactly because of their differences: whenever she started to overthink, he distracted her with one of his jokes. When she saw thinks too seriously, he offered an interesting new point of view. Besides, it was very easy for her to be around him.
She just couldn’t think of a reason for why he would be into her. She knew he had been a few years ago – a feeling that went far beyond just physical attraction. He had actually deeply cared for her – a fact that had completely and utterly surprised her back then. Not that she didn’t like him, or find him attractive, but he was the kind of man that usually just didn’t go for a woman like her, but for the Kerry-type. Kerry was the naturally sensual type; the kind of woman that seemed to ooze sexual attraction naturally. She, Sam, was the geek-type who preferred an evening spent in the lab with some Goa’ult artifact to going out with people, or meeting someone. She was awkward in personal situations. What could he have possibly seen in her in the first place? And more importantly, she really wasn’t sure whether he was even still interested in her?
So talking to him about her feelings had taken everything, every little ounce of courage that she could work up. She wasn’t sure what she had expected when she went to his backyard. But practically running in on him and his new girlfriend had definitely not been on the list. And even though he had been there when her father died, and had promised her to always be there for her, they had never talked about the incident again. Not even, when they had all gone up to his cabin to go fishing.
He had been friendly towards her, even more so than before, but he had also kept a certain distance – and in all fairness, so had she towards him. They had had fun, and talked – like friends would. Friends; no more and no less.
So Sam really wasn’t sure where he was emotionally – or where she was for that matter. Did she really want to risk maneuvering herself into another one of those dead-end situations that she had been in with Pete in the end?
In a way, her experience with Pete had been important, because it had made clear to her, who she was, and what her priorities in life were: and family and kids were not necessarily among them, at least not at the present time. And she couldn’t imagine that this would change in the near future.
‘You can still have everything that you want,’ his father had told her shortly before he had died. She wasn’t sure that he was right.
Sam sighed and started to walk a little faster towards her car, when a voice held her back.
“Colonel Carter… Sam!”
Sam stopped and closed her eyes when she recognized the voice. God, what had she done to deserve this? Putting on the best fake smile that she was capable of, she turned around. “Doctor McKay…”
“I just wanted to let you know that it’s a pity we couldn’t spend more time together. I just saw you walk out and figured – you know - a bit of small talk.” He laughed, and then stopped again, when he realized, that she was looking at him with a hint of annoyance now. “It’s a pity I didn’t win the bid on you.”
“Yes, I don’t know where to start expressing my sadness,” Sam replied ironically and sighed. “Listen, McKay, I’m tired and if there was nothing in particular that you wanted…”
“Oh, no, just wanted to say hi. And tell you that you look amazing. I mean, I’ve seen stunning and sexy before, but tonight, you… I mean… look at you…” He pointed at her body. “That’s…” Upon seeing her death glare, he bit down his undoubtedly very sexist comment and said “…very nice.”
“Thanks.” Sam replied with an audible trace of irony in her voice.
“I couldn’t help but notice that you and General O’Neill…” He waved his hands around awkwardly. “I mean… you seemed rather close…”
“I’ve served with the man for 8 years, McKay. We’ve saved each other’s lives countless times, of course we are close,” Sam interjected annoyed.
“Yes, sure… okay. So… there’s nothing between you two? I mean… I don’t want to intrude, but since the General is essentially one of the people signing my paychecks I would really not want to… you know… step on his toes, “ he babbled on, and then finally concluded with a smile, “So, can I still hope?”
“McKay! General O’Neill and I are colleagues and friends, no more and no less. And as for your last question: no you may not hope, McKay. You are insufferable,” Sam said angrily now.
“Ah, as fierce as always,” McKay chuckled and posed in what he thought was a sexy way.
“Okay, Rodney, let me make it very clear for you. I will not date you, kiss you or go out with you. Ever. We do not have any kind of relationship, especially not that kind, and there is no mutual attraction between us. The only way for you to get me to go out with you would involve drugs and mind control techniques, so…”
“Oh…” he said, and then looked at her almost hopefully. “Would that be an option? I mean, are you into that kind of…” Upon seeing her face, he shook his head. “No… of course not. A joke!” He laughed awkwardly.
Sam closed her eyes warily. “Listen. I really need to get home now, so… as always, a pleasure talking to you.”
With these words, she simply turned around and walked to her car.
“Oh, okay, Colonel. See you! Maybe sometime soon?”
Sam didn’t even answer anymore. As soon as she was in her car she leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes. God, she couldn’t stand that man. He was a sexist, disgusting pervert with a very weird idea about women and relationships in general.
Then her mind drifted back to the evening, her dance (or rather dances) with the general and their last conversation about their dinner date tomorrow evening. Relax, Sam, she willed herself and corrected silently: It is not a date.
He himself had stated that it wasn’t a date, so it was complete appropriate. There was nothing wrong with two friends going out to eat and spending the evening together – even if they were subordinate and commanding officer. Not a slightest bit wrong. It was just like another night out with the guys.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]