The cold, flat edge of the knife slid across the skin of his chest. Jack squeezed his eyes shut, trying to not show any fear; it only led to pain- pain that he was beginning to not handle very well.
It felt as if he was being torn limb from limb. Slowly. Painfully. Excruciatingly.
His arms were stretched above him and strapped to the Wheel of Torture, as he dubbed it earlier, and that is the only way it could be described. His legs were treated in a similar manner, stretched far apart and secured at the base of the large, cold, metal wheel contraption.
The sweat pouring down his body and seeping into his open wounds intermingled with his blood, which only added to his pain. He had given up protesting long ago. His voice had grown hoarse, and it hurt to talk. It took too much effort to get out even one word. So that was when his questions ceased also. Not that it mattered; they never answered him anyway. They just sneered that snaky sneer and continued torturing him.
The guard came and stood in front of him again. He held out his palm.
No! Not again!
The pulsating glow began. Again. The thrumming started in his temples and engulfed his entire head. His head involuntarily whipped back as the piercing pain spiked through his head.
Please stop. Please stop. Please stop. STOP!
He heard an otherworldly scream echo between the walls. He wished that whoever or whatever that was would stop. It was hurting his head. Then he realized it was himself.
Images started flashing through his mind. This was when the nausea began. The images would always fly around his head, spinning and skipping in front of his eyes. Never stopping.
Then they stopped. And one image settled in his mind. He expected it to flash away at any moment. He expected more pain.
The image was fuzzy at first, but then it materialized into a woman. A beautiful, blond haired, blue-eyed woman. He knew her from somewhere, but where?
The image changed again, but in slow motion this time, making it easier on his pounding head.
He was standing in a room. A meeting room. A ... a ... briefing room. He was surrounded by other men in blue uniforms, gathered around a table. They were all looking at him, waiting. What were they waiting for? He looked toward the open doorway. A form was standing there, shifting nervously in the shadows. The form finally walked in, confidently.
Then he saw her. Her. The beautiful woman. With blond hair. And blue eyes. And she was smiling. Smiling at him?
The image shifted once again. This time to a cave. An icy, dark cave. He was lying on the cold, hard floor of the cave. He was hurt. Numb. Uncaring anymore. Then she was in front of him again. She looked as worse for wear as he was, but she was smiling. At him.
The intensity of the sharp pain in his head nearly overtook him, his images darkening. But he would not give in. He had to keep her in his sight. She made him feel no pain. She made him feel invincible.
Her face became clearer. Her smile became brighter. The pain diminished to the darkest corner of his mind.
The woman...what is her name...came closer to him. She was standing nearly in front of him. She was saying something. What is she saying?
"Jack"
Jack? Who's Jack, he thought. Oh wait. He knew that name too. That was his name. Jack. I'm Jack. He had to keep reminding himself.
"Jack, I..."
Her voice kept fading in and out. He had to hear her voice. He had to hear what she was saying. He had a feeling it was important, whatever it was she was saying.
"Jack, I love you." She smiled.
She smiled. At him. She loved him. Who is she?
He couldn't remember her name. Why couldn't he remember her name? He knew he loved her. That much was obvious. The way she made him feel, the way she looked at him, smiled at him. Loved him.
He could feel himself reciprocating those feelings, and reacting to them. His heart skipped a beat whenever she smiled at him, whenever he thought about her smile. He couldn't remember anything specific, yet he knew he should. It was tormenting him. What kind of man was he if he couldn't remember the name of the woman he loved?
She reached out and took his hand. She laid his hand against her stomach where a small mound was apparent. He could feel her warm skin against his hand, and something more. The skin under his hand moved. His eyes flew to hers. She smiled.
"Our baby," she said.
Jack felt it again. A light little kick from the inside of her womb. Baby. His baby. Their baby! He smiled, or he thought he did. He wasn't sure of much of anything right now, except for the fact that the woman he loved was having his baby.
All too soon though, he was yanked away from his pleasant surroundings and back to the pain-enthralled torture chamber. The suddenness of the pain of his body and his heart caused a gut wrenching sob to escape his mouth. Jack cut it off quickly knowing that any emotion shown only fueled the sick twisted minds of his tormentors. His mind drifted into the all-consuming blackness that guaranteed at least a short escape from the pain.
***
Sam sat in the rocking chair in the baby's room. The lights were off and the room was chilled, but she didn't seem to notice or care.
He's been captured by Bastet.
The words were a lament, echoing through her head, torturing her.
Captured by Bastet.
Two months and they were still no closer to finding him. She didn't even know if he was alive.
I thought I felt you touch my cheek this morning
But I musta been dreamin'
Tears slid unbidden down her cheeks. She felt so alone without him, the house felt so empty. Only in this room did she feel less alone. He had shown her this room the night he had proposed to her, the night she thought they would spent the rest of their lives together.
And in the middle of the night without a warning
I thought I heard you breathin'
Now, her baby probably was not going to have its father. It was so unfair. What had they ever done to deserve this?
Me and my so-called independence
I've got this loneliness that's so relentless
She wiped at her eyes, the cool metal of her ring brushing across her cheek. She looked down at it, glinting softly in the moonlight that flowed through the window. It was a symbol of his love for her, a symbol of what was to be their future together.
Sam still held steadfastly to the belief that he was still alive, somewhere out there. Even after so long, he had to be alive. She knew that if she ever lost that belief she would be lost forever without him.
I guess you get used to somebody
Kind of like havin' them around
The tears still streamed down her cheeks. She had done this every night since her father had told her, retreated to this room to let out the emotions that she suppressed all day. She felt so useless at the SGC, unable to help with the search that the SG teams and the Tok'ra were partaking in, confined to her lab trying to study machinery that she no longer had any interest in studying.
I guess you get used to the way they make you happy
Bring you up when you're feeling down
Her heart lay somewhere across the galaxy, and she wouldn't be complete until she was reunited with it once again. "Oh, Jack," she cried, "Please, come back to me."
I never dreamed when I was letting you go
That I would wake up and miss you this much
There was no answer, her voice echoed hollowly in the empty room. Her hand drifted down to the small swell of her belly, she could feel the fluttering sensation that told her the baby was moving. It was comforting to her, to feel that little life moving inside her. At least if they never found him, she would have that much of Jack in her child … their child.
I guess you get used to somebody
I guess you get used to being loved
Janet had told her that she could tell the sex of the baby now. Sam didn't want to know. She wanted the sex to be one final surprise from Jack if he was never to come home. Oh, he has to come home. I need him.
Sam sat up hopefully at the sound of a key sliding in the lock of the front door. Shoulders slumping miserably, she slid back down on the seat; they would have called her if he had been found.
"Sam?"
It was Daniel. She wondered if he would go away if she ignored him. For a brief moment she regretted giving Daniel and Janet a key to the house, but they had both insisted and she couldn't refuse them.
"Sam? Are you there?"
Great, she thought bitterly, it's both of them. She swiped at her face angrily. Why couldn't they just leave her alone?
"I'm here," Sam croaked in reply, her voice scratchy and raw from crying.
Resting her head against the padded headrest, she closed her eyes. She didn't want visitors, if they wanted to see her they could come to her. She wasn't going to go out of her way to accommodate anyone.
"Here you are!" Janet's head popped around the door, a smile on her face.
"What do you want?" Sam sighed.
This had happened nearly every night for the last two months. She came home; one of them would turn up to check on her. In the beginning she hadn't been bothered; she knew they were worried about her and the baby. But now … all she wanted was to be alone with her grief, and they weren't letting her do that.
After the first couple of weeks, she had dropped into a deep depression. She kept denying the fact that Jack was gone. Her mind told her to accept it, but her heart refused. Even now, after two months of wondering, worrying, crying, and praying, she still couldn't dismiss the feeling down deep in her heart.
Janet and Daniel had been very attentive the whole time. They hadn’t let her leave their presence for more than a couple of hours. Janet had noticed her not eating and the signs of fatigue on her face. But no matter what she couldn't get them to go away and leave her alone. She knew they meant well, but if she accepted their help and aid, she might as well close the case so to speak of ever expecting Jack back home. And she couldn't do that. She couldn't and wouldn't let herself do that.
Janet ignored her snappish comment and stepped into the room. "Oh Sam, it's freezing in here, why haven't you put the fire on?"
Sam glanced up at her. Janet was standing at arms length, her face etched with concern. "What are you … my mother?" she snapped angrily. "I'm not cold Janet. Why can't you just leave me alone?"
"Because you're not looking after yourself and your baby, Sam. If we leave you alone who knows what will happen to the two of you. I'm your doctor and your friend; I can't let anything happen to you. Either of you."
Janet squatted down in front of her, placing her hand softly on Sam's knee. "You have to snap out of this Sam. This is no way to live your live, shutting yourself away and pining for Jack. He wouldn't want to see you like this any more than we do."
Daniel's head popped around the doorway. "I've got everything Jan," he said quietly, glancing in Sam's direction. "Hey Sam."
Sam ignored him, focusing instead on Janet. "What does he mean by that?"
Janet stood and took her hand. "You're coming with us even if we have to drag you out of the house kicking and screaming."
Fixing her sharp gaze on Daniel, she jerked her hand away from Janet. She couldn't believe this. "No, I'm not going anywhere. Don't you get it? I just want to be alone."
Janet looked at her with sorrow lighting her eyes. She couldn't stand seeing Sam like this. "Sam, this isn't healthy for you ... or the baby."
"Why don't you understand? I want ... no ... I have to be here. This is the only place I feel near Jack." Sam said choking on a sob.
Janet gathered Sam into her arms. "Just let it out Sam. Let it all out."
Sam's sobs grew to heart wrenching wails as she finally let the impact of it all catch up to her. She realized then that she couldn't do it by herself anymore.
*********************************
Daniel carefully deposited Sam's sleeping form on Cassie's bed. When she'd had her breakdown, she cried so long and hard that she had exhausted herself.
Janet had been adamant about not leaving Sam there alone again, as they had for the past two months. Daniel had tucked Sam's bags in Janet's car and then carried Sam out and made sure she was settled comfortably.
Janet had told him, with this being such a critical time in Sam's pregnancy, they would have to keep a close eye on her. Though, Janet didn't have to tell him, he could see for himself. It wasn't a good sign that she was closing herself off from her friends. Even her work, which used to be so important to her, was suffering.
Daniel berated himself everyday for not convincing Jack to stay. He knew it hadn't been such a good idea for Jack to accept the mission so soon after his injury, and after finding out that Sam was pregnant. He should have taken more time to recuperate. He should have passed up the mission. He should have stayed with Sam. No matter how much he told himself that Jack was a mature adult and could make rational decisions, Daniel still blamed himself to a degree for letting Jack go.
At first, after they found out Jack had been captured; they all thought it would only be a matter of time before he was recovered. Jack O'Neill had been through rough situations before and had always survived. Why should this time be any different they all thought. The only difference being that this time he had more at stake--a baby on the way and a promised marriage.
Janet had come to stand next to Daniel and put her arms around him, without him realizing it. They looked down at Sam, knowing this had to be the first decent sleep she had gotten in weeks. Daniel gathered Janet into his arms, cherishing his own gift.
Janet sighed sorrowfully. "Why is it, that when two people are meant to be together, they are constantly torn apart?"
"I don't know hon. I can't understand it myself." He said as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. She leant her head against his chest. He felt a dampness soaking through his shirt.
"I really thought that with the baby, they would finally have a chance for true happiness. Lord knows they needed some," Janet said through her tears.
Daniel knew as well as she did that neither Jack nor Sam had had a pleasant life. After the initial shock wore off, he was ecstatic for his friends. If anyone deserved to be together and be happy it was Sam and Jack. But now, by a twist of fate, their happiness was ripped out from under them. All of Sam's initial worries about having to raise this child on her own, all came crashing back to Earth.
When she first found out that she was going to have a baby, she had convinced herself that Jack wouldn't want anything to do with it, however untrue that turned out to be. Though they themselves didn't even know what to expect at the time, they had backed Sam's decision. They had been fully prepared to help her raise her baby. Then when Jack finally came to his senses about his whole relationship with Sam, not only was he thrilled but everyone else was too. They had still wanted to be a part of Jack and Sam's baby's life; they were just overjoyed that the baby would have its father.
Now though, it was as if their well laid-out plans had suddenly been erased. Janet and Daniel still planned on giving Sam any support she may need.
****************************
Jack was thrown bodily into his cell, the air driven from his chest, his mind a daze of twisted memories and emotions. Gasping, he battled to drive air back into his lungs, taking huge breaths that only serve to make his broken ribs protest.
He rolled onto his back, his sweat-soaked stomach covered in dirt from the ground. Closing his eyes, he fought the pain that the movement caused, not only from his ribs, but also from the myriad of bruises and cuts that covered his back and abdomen. His wrist was broken; it had been for some time.
Blackness floated in front of him. He wasn't sure if it was actually dark or if he'd lost his vision again. A wave of nausea rolled over him. Pushing himself onto his side, vision flecking with the pain, he retched violently, bringing up only bile. He hadn't eaten in days, and had only been given a tiny mouthful of water several hours ago. If you could even call it water. It wasn't fit for animals to drink.
He lay back, his energy wasting away, and closed his eyes again. It was the only way to make the pain fade back to a tolerable level. His head pounded constantly from the lack of food and water and from the no doubt multiple concussions he had suffered in the time he had been here.
Here. He didn't even know where here was. Since he had been captured he had been moved numerous times. No doubt to keep him from memorizing his surroundings, should he escape. And that had been on his mind constantly. Escape. Though the thought had dulled to the furthest reaches of his mind. Ebbing there, should he care to act on it.
Time had lost all meaning to him. He had not slept in weeks, of that he was certain. A painful cacophony of sounds filled the room from tiny speakers making it impossible to sleep. He did not know where he was, or how he had gotten there. He remembered almost nothing of his life before this misery began only the little images that flashed before him in the few small moments of sleep he occasionally managed to grab.
He could remember a woman, she was very important to him. Sam. That's what the little visions told him her name was. She was having his baby. He saw images of people that he assumed were his friends, but nothing tangible enough to hold on to. Except for her, he had to live; he had to get home to her and their baby.
Her smile. He remembered her smile. It kept flashing through his mind. Sometimes he could almost smile back, but the left side of his face had been crushed, making it painful to do so. It was beautiful; it made this wretched life worth living. It helped him hold on to the belief that he would live to see it again.
The sound of someone outside his door was unmistakable. Please, not again! With a burst of energy, he pulled himself across to the far corner of the cell and cowered in the shadows that lay there. The Goa’uld, Bastet, took great pleasure in torturing people. He could not remember her or her Jaffa ever asking him any questions; his torture sessions were silent except for his screams.
What could they possibly want from me, he thought. He knew nothing. Or at least he thought he knew nothing. Crap! Now he was confusing himself.
They normally gave him time to recoup before each session. If they were coming for him now, did it mean that she had grown tired of him, found a new subject to torture? He wouldn't let them take him without a fight. He needed to focus. He couldn't pass out again. If he passed out, he was afraid he wouldn't wake up the next time. And he had to wake up. He had to get out of here.
Footsteps approached him quietly, too quietly. Something was wrong. They were going to kill him. He tried to fight back the panic that was suddenly growing in him. He had to live! A hand touched his shoulder gently, something was said to him, but his mind didn't register it.
With a feral growl he grabbed the hand and moved with a speed and agility that the Jaffa wouldn't have expected. He twisted the arm until he heard the crack. Dropping it with satisfaction, he stood, driving his fist into their face. Another satisfying crack sounded as his assailant’s nose broke.
"Jack!" a voice yelled.
Jack stopped suddenly, his fist still raised, his other hand still gripping the front of his assailant’s shirt. Another man stood in the doorway, too small to be a Jaffa. He was dressed in the robes of a Goa’uld. Was that his name he was calling? The Jaffa had never called him anything but human before. He let go of the shirt in his hand, the person falling to the ground with an agonized moan.
"Jack," the man repeated, raising his hands as if to show he meant no harm. "We're here to help you Jack. We're here to get you out."
Jack tilted his head, studying the man intensely. He looked familiar, but this had happened before. He had thought someone had looked familiar and it had been a trick, a new method of torture. He looked down at the man on the floor; he was holding his nose, his broken arm held tightly against his stomach.
"Jack please," the man sounded desperate. "It's me, Jacob."
The name meant nothing to him. He couldn't remember a Jacob. It must be a trick, they're trying to fool me into believing they're something they aren't. Placing a swift kick into the stomach of the man on the ground he rounded on the other one. He crossed the room in two steps, gathering the front of the man’s robes in his fist.
Fear flickered across his face. Jack had nothing to lose; he would kill him if he had to. He could tell by the other man's face, by Jacob's face that he saw it too. His other hand groped for Jacob's throat and squeezed. Jacob's hands wrapped around his wrist, trying to pull them off as his eyes bulged. Jack only squeezed harder.
"Sam..." Was the only word that managed to escape Jacob's lips.
Jack released his throat and robes in surprise, sending Jacob slumping to the ground, hands around his throat as he lay gasping for breath. He studied the man again, feeling that sense of familiarity once again. Jack had never mentioned Sam during his torture sessions, no one here knew who she was. Did they manage to get inside his head on top of everything else? Is that how Jacob knew her name?
Jacob had pushed himself up onto his hands and knees, still gasping. "You have to trust me Jack. This isn't one of Bastet's tricks. We're here to take you back to Sam."
Unwillingly, he held his good hand out to the man. He did not trust him, but something deep down told him to believe him. Jacob took his hand and stood, his eyes traveling up and down Jack's battered body, before brushing past him and helping the other man up.
Jack stood rooted in place, trying to get his mind around what was happening. He was leaving here; he was going home to Sam. It didn't seem real, none of it did. It seemed like some far-fetched dream. Reality to him was pain and beatings.
Something brushed his shoulder. He jerked away from it, half-twisting, a low growl forming in his throat. Jacob was behind him holding up some dark brown robes. Jack stepped warily away from him.
"Jack you have to put it on or we won't get out of here."
Inching forward he reached out and snatched the robes from Jacob, wrapping them around his body awkwardly with one hand. It was course, aggravating the multitude of cuts on his body, but he didn't care.
He was going back to Sam.
************************************
Sam lay on the bed her eyes closed, but not asleep. She had been faking it for the past few minutes, waiting for Janet and Daniel to leave the room. They pitied her, she just knew it. She didn't want pity. She didn't want to be felt sorry for. She just wanted Jack.
I kinda miss those ramblin' conversations
Where we talk about nothin'
She rolled over onto her back and drew her hand up to her swollen stomach. She felt the baby move, causing her mouth to lift slightly. The baby started moving around about a month ago. She can't believe that Jack missed the first kick of their baby. He would have loved to have felt it. When she had to go to her first ultra sound alone, it nearly killed her. Jack had been so looking forward to it. He had been talking of hardly anything else since he found out. Especially after he got the baby's room all fixed up.
The way you always made me laugh at my frustrations
Baby that was somethin'
She talked to the baby all the time. Mostly about its father. She knew it probably wasn't doing her any good, to constantly dredge it up, but it was the only way for her to hang onto Jack. Until she had evidence, hardcore, able to be touched evidence, she would not believe that Jack was dead.
I should've been careful what I wished for
Cause I've got my freedom and so much more
When Jack was trapped on Edora all those years ago, for more than three months, she never gave up the search. No matter what people said, she hadn't let herself stop until he was found.
I guess you get used to somebody
Kind of like havin' them around
This time though...She shook her head clearing images ingrained in her mind...she couldn't think about this time. Because Jack was coming back. Alive.
I guess you get used to the way they make you happy
Bring you up when your feeling down
I never dreamed when I was letting you go
That I would wake up and miss you this much
Sam curled up on her side, the soft light from the hallway leaking in through the crack in the door. It felt good to lie down at least. She hadn't allowed herself this comfort for quite a while. She closed her eyes again, and started singing softly. It was a lullaby that she remembered her mother singing to her when she was a child. She hadn't heard it in years, but it somehow came bubbling to the surface. She told herself she was singing to soothe the baby, but deep down she knew it was to ease her own troubled soul.
I never dreamed when I was letting you go
That I would wake up and miss you this much
She must have dozed off because the next thing she knew she heard the blaring ring of the telephone down the hallway. She looked at the bedside clock. 0230. Who would be calling Janet's at this time of night. She strained to hear the voices down the hallway. It was Janet and Daniel talking urgently, but softly. She was curious as to what was happening. She sat up and prepared to get off the bed to find out, when Janet rushed into the room in a flurry of motion.
Janet seemed only mildly surprised that Sam was already awake. "Sam we have to get to the SGC. They've found Jack. And he's alive."
Sam was struck speechless, but she allowed Janet to help her bundle up for the journey to the mountain. And Jack.
*******************************
Sam hurried through the corridors of the SGC, Janet and Daniel trailing behind in her wake. All her energy was focused on getting down to the infirmary, going to Jack. She didn’t want to think about what she might find when she got there.
When they reached the Infirmary level Janet took her arm, stopping her. Her face looked stern and worried. “Sam, he’s in the observation room. The General warned me that he’s in bad shape, he won’t let anyone near him and he won’t talk. Sam, I don’t want him to do anything to harm you and the baby.”
“He won’t harm us Janet,” Sam scoffed impatiently. She wanted to see him; she had to see him now.
“Sam, I’m only asking you to be careful. You have to calm him down enough so I can check his injuries.”
“I know Janet.”
Brushing her hand off, Sam continued down the corridor. A feral kind of scream was coming from the observation room, echoing up the corridor to her ears. That couldn’t be Jack, could it? It sounded more like an animal than man. She quickened her pace. What was happening to him?
Rounding the corner she ran into her father. He looked tired, but a relieved smile filled his face when he saw her. “Sammy.” He pulled her into his arms, hugging her tightly to his chest.
“How is he Dad?”
One look at his face told her everything she needed to know. It had been a long time since she had seen her father look as anguished as he did now. It took her breath away. “He knows who you are Sammy. That’s all that matters,” he replied, brushing his lips across her forehead.
A loud crash from the observation room pulled them apart. There was a moan of pain and then silence. Jacob cupped her face, looking deep into her eyes. “Sammy, things might not look so good now, but they will get better. You have him back now”. He pressed another kiss to her forehead. “Do you want Teal’c to go in with you just in case you need any help?”
It was only then that Sam noticed Teal’c standing tensely by the doorway, a zat clutched ready in his hand as he peered through the glass on the door. Moving away from her father, she stepped up to Teal’c. “It is a relief that you have finally arrived Samantha Carter,” he said in greeting, his attention not leaving the door.
“Thanks Teal’c,” she replied, reaching out to touch his arm. “Will you stay out here? I’ll call out if I need any help.” Teal’c simply inclined his head in acquiescence.
Taking a deep breath, Sam opened the door and took a couple of steps inside. She heard a scuffling sound and looked in its direction. What she saw would be etched into her memory forever. Nothing could ever have prepared her for the sight before her. She stood there for a long time, rooted in place and helpless.
Jack was crouched in the far corner of the room, watching her warily. He was almost unrecognizable from the man he had been. His face was partly in shadow, the left side of his face swollen, his cheek and nose noticeably broken. His breathing was ragged, frightened.
He was almost naked, clothed only in a loincloth that barely covered his midsection decently. He was emaciated, his face hollow and drawn. Almost every visible inch of his body was covered in bruises, cuts and grime. He was filthy.
Inwardly Sam groaned and fought to stifle the sob that formed in her throat. What had they done to him? She knew she couldn’t let him she how upset his appearance made her, schooling her expression she took a cautious step forward.
Jack backed up, somehow managing to squeeze himself deeper into the corner, flinching away from her. His eyes were wild, searching everywhere for a means to escape. He grunted in pain.
Sam stopped moving. She was still several feet away from him. Slowly she squatted down so she was at eye level with him. “Jack, it’s me. It’s Sam,” she kept her voice quiet, not wanting to startle him any more than he already was.
He tilted his head, an almost bird-like motion, his eyes looking her up and down. His body was still except for his eyes. Sam inched forward slowly, stopping after every foot to make certain she wasn’t scaring him. She had no idea how he might react if he freaked out. Was Dad wrong? Did he not recognize me at all?
She was unaware of the passing of time as she crawled closer to him. She kept her eyes on his, trying to keep him calm, to show him that she was no threat to him. Finally she was in front of him, her knees almost brushing his.
Tentatively, she reached out and touched his knee. His reaction was instantaneous. He screamed the same animalistic sound she had heard outside in the corridor. He jerked away from her, standing and pressing himself against the wall, knocking Sam over in the process. His eyes were wide, terrified; he was shaking.
Sam stood up facing him, holding her arms out in front of her, trying to show him that she was no threat. “Jack, it is me. It’s Sam,” she told him tenderly. “You’re home Jack. Your safe, you’re with me now … and our baby.” She pressed a hand to her belly, attempting to show him the burgeoning mound that was their unborn child.
Tears were streaming down Jack’s cheeks, but his gaze had followed her hand. He studied it for a long time, confusion creasing the undamaged side of his face. Slowly, Sam inched closer again, trying to soothe him with the sound of her voice. “Nothing is going to hurt you again baby. I promise you, no one will ever hurt you again.”
Reaching up, she gently cupped his unmarred cheek with her hand. Jack flinched, but didn’t pull away. A realization seemed to take hold of him. The uncertainty in his features seemed to ebb away, only to be replaced by disbelief. His mouth opened, he was saying something, but no sound came out.
Sam was certain that it was her name that he had mouthed. “Yes, it’s me Jack. I’m real.”
Jack’s shoulders began shaking forcefully, his face twisting in misery. Sam stepped forward, pulling him to her. Mindful of his battered body she wrapped her arms around him and held him as he wept. She could feel how thin and bony he suddenly was. “Its okay, Jack, let it out.”
A sob rose in her throat. They had broken him, broken his mind as well as his body. Despite all his Black Ops training they had managed to break him. What had they done to him? He hadn’t even known she was real. She bit the tears back, knowing that she had to be strong for him. She had to help him get through this.
His sobs subsided quickly and as much as she didn’t want to let him go, she knew that Janet had to check his injuries. Sam had no idea how she was going to coax Jack into letting Janet examine him. Her hand was slowly stroking up and down his back, a soothing motion. He was still tense; his arms still lay stiffly at his side.
Sam didn’t hear the low growl forming in his throat, didn’t notice the growing tenseness in his body until it was too late. When he did move it was with a swiftness that she had never seen before, the speed of a man acting purely on instinct. One of his arms shot out, wrapping itself firmly around her throat, his other hand gripping one of her arms firmly in front of her.
“Trick!” he yelled, the first cognitive thing she had heard from him. His voice was raw and gravelly from lack of use. His face contorted angrily as Sam’s free hand groped up to grip his wrist futilely. His grip tightened and she gasped weakly from a combination of lack of oxygen and pain.
The door burst open behind her and instantly she realized why he had assumed it was a trick. She couldn’t cry out, tell them to go, couldn’t plead to Jack that he was mistaken. She was completely helpless to do anything.
He had just seen Teal’c.
Her vision was fading; she wasn’t going to last much longer if she didn’t do something. Instinctively, she raised her knee forcefully and it connected with his groin. He groaned, his fingers loosening on her throat enough for her to push him back.
Sam fell to her knees, drawing deep breaths, trying to force precious oxygen back into her lungs. Her shocked mind struggled to comprehend what had just happened. Glancing up at Jack, she saw him looking past her, rooted in place, a look of betrayal on his face. He was whimpering softly in fear.
Oh god, Teal’c!
Sam stood quickly, ignoring the wave of lightheadedness that washed over her. Turning to face Teal’c, she made sure her body shielded Jack from the Jaffa. As she had anticipated Teal’c was standing inside the doorway, his zat raised and aimed in their direction. Janet stood anxiously behind him, Jacob next to her, looking ready to do murder.
“Teal’c, get out!” she yelled breathlessly. It hurt to talk. “He doesn’t know you … he’s scared!”
Jack moaned softly behind her, incoherent and terrified. Sam spared a backward glance at him, forcing a smile to try and placate him. His moaning stopped; he froze, staring back at her with an intensity she had never seen before.
Teal’c still had his zat raised. He looked at her pensively. “I am only trying to protect you and your unborn child Samantha Carter.”
“I know that Teal’c, but he doesn’t. Please Teal’c,” she pleaded. She started swaying slightly, her throat was throbbing. Jack’s grip had done more damage then simply cutting off her air, but she couldn’t let it show. She had to help him.
Janet stepped forward, forcing Teal’c to lower the zat. “She’s right, Teal’c.” She met Sam’s eyes. “Are you okay Sam?”
Sam nodded. “I’m fine Janet,” she lied, she felt anything but okay. “Can you get me a sedative? There’s no way he’s gonna let you examine him.”
Janet nodded, and she pushed Teal'c out of the room. Jacob stayed where he was, concern shining in his eyes. "Are you sure you don't want somebody to stay in here with you, Sammy?"
"No Dad. I was getting through to him before; we just need to be alone." Jacob nodded and quietly left the room.
Sam had already turned her attention back to Jack. She wanted to sit down, she felt dizzy, but she couldn't. She didn't want to do anything to make him nervous. That same impenetrable gaze was still fixed on her. His arm drifted out to touch her cheek tentatively, as if he was trying to assure himself that she was real.
"Sa … Sammy?" he choked out uncertainly. His eyes drifted down to look at her lips. “Smile,” he muttered dreamily. He closed his eyes, his arm dropping back to his side, as he seemed to lose himself in a memory.
Sam watched him uncertainly. Smile? What on Earth did he mean by that? She wracked her brain trying to try and work out what he meant by his comment. She was clueless. “Yeah, Jack, it’s me. It’s Sammy,” she replied, forcing a smile.
Jack’s eyes opened slowly and he studied her for a moment with that impenetrable stare. A slow smile spread across the undamaged side of his face as he reached out and touched her cheek again, his fingers brushing her lips. “Smile,” he whispered.
It dawned on Sam then what he meant. “Is that what you remembered Jack, my smile?” she asked, taking his hand in hers.
He nodded slightly an almost child-like gesture. “Smile.” He squeezed her hand in his, his eyes drifting down to look at her neck. Horror filled his features as he looked at it saw the damage he had done. His face crumpled and tears began to course down his cheeks. He pulled his hand out of her grip, backing away from her.
His back came into contact with the wall and he slid down it until he was sitting on the floor. He buried his face in his hands, sobs shaking his shoulders. Sam squatted down opposite him, touching his knee gently. He tried to shake her off but she relented, moving her hand up to grip his shoulder.
“Jack, I know you didn’t hurt me intentionally,” she whispered, leaning in closer to him. She gripped his wrists, pulling them away from his face. He gave a little pained moan before she noticed the swelling of his left wrist and loosening her grip. “Jack, look at me,” she told him forcefully.
His head snapped up, sad eyes focusing on hers. Letting go of his hands she reached up to cup his face, wiping the tears away with her thumbs. She couldn’t think of what to say to him that might calm him down. It felt so good to be touching him, to have him there in front of her, and not just in her imagination. She said the words that she wanted to say to him for the last two months, her voice thick with unshed tears.
“I love you Jack. I’m so glad your back with me.”
His face lit up; relief flooding his features as a fresh bout of tears filled his eyes. Sam shifted so she was kneeling in front of him and pulled him forward into her arms. His arms wrapped around her, and finally she felt complete. She melted into his arms, sobbing with him as she released two months worth of pent up grief.
**************************
Janet looked down at the sleeping form of the Colonel, a frown creasing her forehead. How he had managed to survive his ordeal was beyond her. She rubbed at her eyes tiredly; it was going to take months for his body to heal. Who knew how long it would take for his mind to heal too? He was lucky to be alive.
She slid down in the seat next to his bed warily and closed her eyes. It was only the beginning, they were still running tests to try and get an idea of the extent of his injuries. His CAT scan almost made her heart stop. Apart from the more obvious injuries, the broken wrist, his shattered face, the CAT scan had shown breaks that were almost healed, breaks that he had had to cope with without the aid of medicine.
They had to wait for specialists to arrive before they could deal with most of his injuries. As much as she hated to admit it, some of his wounds were beyond her skill to heal, so she had commissioned the help of some of the best orthopedic surgeons in the country.
The hard part was going to be keeping him calm until the specialists arrived. She didn’t want to have to resort to sedating him, but if it came down to it she might have to. Sam was the only person who seemed to be able to reach him, but she couldn’t be with him all the time.
Janet’s eyes opened. Had they found her yet? Sam had disappeared shortly after hearing the results of the CAT scan. Teal’c, Daniel and Jacob had been scouring the base for more than an hour trying to find her. Janet was more than a little worried for her friend; her only relief was she had been able to examine the damage to Sam’s throat before she had disappeared.
She knew this must be hitting Sam hard. After so long waiting for Jack to be found, seeing the state he was in, his memory loss. They all knew it was going to be a long, hard road to recovery for him. Janet knew that Sam had to be scared that Jack would have lost something of himself as a result.
Janet had high hopes for Jack’s recovery though. He was a fighter, he always had been. She had seen his files, she knew that he had been to the edge of hell and come back several times. This time was different too, this time he had motivation and support in the form of Samantha Carter and their unborn child. He would pull through. He would be back to himself before they knew it.
A head peeked through the curtain, startling her until she realized it was Daniel. “Did you find her?” she asked before he had a chance to speak.
Daniel smiled and stepped into the cubicle, his gaze drifting to Jack’s sleeping form. “Yeah, she was up on the surface. Jacob found her; he’s with her now in her quarters.”
Janet let out a let sigh of relief. She watched Daniel as he stepped up to the bed and looked sadly down at his friend. He reached out cautiously and touched the undamaged side of Jack’s face. “I didn’t believe we would ever get him back alive Janet,” he whispered sadly. “Is he going to be okay?”
Standing, Janet closed the gap between them and wrapped her arms around his waist. “It’s Jack, Daniel, of course he’ll be okay. He’ll bounce back just like he always does,” she replied optimistically.
“Of course he will,” a voice scoffed.
Turning they watched as Sam entered the cubicle, her eyes red and puffy from crying. Janet’s eyes drifted down to the ugly red marks on her throat, it was just bruising, but it was a frightening sight. Jack had done that, in a fit of confusion and fear.
Sam’s eyes were glued to Jack. She crossed the cubicle and took his hand in her own, perching herself in the seat next to his bed. “Has there been any change?”
“No,” Janet replied. “But he’s exhausted, so there’s no telling when he might wake up.”
“Yeah I know,” Sam sighed, her gaze never wavering from Jack. “Can we be alone please?”
“Sure,” Janet replied, taking a firm grip of Daniel’s arm and pulling him behind her. “You know where I am if you need me.” She called behind her as she made her way out of the cubicle.
***
Jack woke to a sensation that he had not felt for as long as he could remember … no pain. The pain was still there, throbbing away but its intensity had been shaved away so it was no more than a minor annoyance. For a fleeting moment he wondered if he was dead, then a memory flashed before him.
Sam. He was back with her. The men at his prison had told him the truth when they told him they were taking him back to her. He was home now, if only he could remember what that home was. The faces were all familiar to him, he felt like he should know them, but he didn’t.
He stretched slightly, and regretted the movement. Pain arched through him for a brief moment before he stilled himself. His movement was enough to feel something unexpected at his fingertips. Hair. He opened his eyes, tilting his head to the side enough to find out who it was.
The short blonde hair told him who it was instantly. It was a little longer than it was in his memories, but it was her all the same. Her face was looking away from him, but by her breathing he guessed she was asleep.
His eyes drifted around the room, taking in everything around him. The room was bare, except for the bed he was laying on, the chair Sam was sitting on and the strange equipment around his bed. There was only one wall at his head, and three curtains acting as walls. He wasn’t in a cell. Where am I?
There was something familiar about the room; something tickled the back of his mind, telling him that he knew this place. He couldn’t put a name to it, couldn’t remember anything about it. The only thing he knew was that he felt safe here. Nothing could harm him here.
Sighing, he closed his eyes, he was so tired. The glinting of something metal flashed through his mind. He could almost feel its startling cold in contrast to the fire in his body as it scraped threateningly against his chest. He bit his lip, trying to bit back the frustration that he felt, trying to prepare himself for the pain that was to follow. A moan escaped his lips. Something touched his chest, not a knife … a hand. He let out a shout, jerking his body away from it.
“Jack!” The voice was urgent and insistent.
His eyes shot open, he was looking up at Sam. Her eyes were wide with worry and surprise; her hand was on his chest. He lay there gasping for breath, unwilling to close his eyes. Sam’s eyes held him; just looking at them helped to steady his breathing.
“Are you okay Jack? What happened?”
Jack took her hand in his, more to convince himself that she was actually there and not just a figment of his imagination. He smiled in relief when she squeezed his hand comfortingly. “Memories,” he replied quietly, finally finding his voice. It still felt strange to talk.
A clicking sound interrupted his thoughts, it was getting closer. One of the curtains swung open and a petite brunette in a white overcoat stepped in. She, like everyone and everything else looked familiar. He had seen her the night before.
“What happened?” the brunette asked, moving closer to the bed, studying Jack with concern. Instinctively, Jack shied away from her. “It’s okay Jack, I’m not going to hurt you. Don’t you remember me?”
Jack shook his head, glancing up at Sam. “No,” he muttered, clutching at Sam’s hand like it was his lifeline.
“That’s okay Jack. I’m Dr Fraiser … Janet,” she replied gently, a smile on her face. “Now, what happened?”
“He said it was memories. I think he was having a flashback or something,” Sam supplied.
“Oh,” Janet replied.
Janet’s attention shifted back to Jack. She smiled warmly, but he could see it was forced. A word popped into his head as he shied back further from her. Needles. He pushed himself back, feeling the edge of the bed under his palm and unable to explain the sudden, irrational, dislike that he was feeling.
“No needles … please.”
Janet looked at him, a mildly surprised expression on her face. She smiled slowly, “Don’t worry Jack, no needles.” She glanced quickly at Sam, flashing a quick, almost imperceptible grin. “The specialists will be arriving within the hour to fix the damage to your face.”
Unconsciously, Jack’s hand drifted to his cheek. Sometimes he forgot about it. Pain had been such a constant companion to him that he had stopped paying attention to each individual ache; it was easier for him to deal with it all as a whole. He knew he probably would have gone nuts if he hadn’t dealt with it that way. He’d probably have given up and died.
“How?” he mumbled.
Janet sighed; perching herself down on Sam’s vacated seat. Jack didn’t shrink away from her. He lowered his eyes self-consciously. He hadn’t seen his face for a long time, but it felt swollen and bloated with the numbness.
“I don’t exactly know what they’ll do Jack,” she replied, her voice drawing his eyes back to her. “We may not know for certain until they examine you, but depending on the damage to the bone they might have to insert a plate in your cheek.”
Jack didn’t understand most of what she had just told him, though one single thought reverberated through his mind. “Pain.”
Janet shifted forward in her seat slightly, her face serious. She reached out a hand and touched his knee gently. He flinched, but didn’t pull away; Sam seemed to trust her. “I won’t lie to you Jack, there will be pain,” she said frankly. “But we have medication that can ease the pain and it won’t be any worse that what you’ve already suffered.”
Jack nodded. If Sam trusted her it was enough for him. He loved her, he trusted her completely. If she told him that someone was a friend, that he could trust them, he would believe her, even for that Jaffa that he had seen when he first got here.
***
Sam closed her eyes, resting her head back against the wall. It was going to be a long wait, she knew that, but she was unwilling to move from where she was. Everyone had told her to go home, to get some much-needed rest, but she couldn’t. She had to know he was going to be okay.
Of course, she knew he was going to be. He was in the hands of the best doctors the Air Force had to offer. She was still apprehensive she couldn’t help herself. Jack was vulnerable at the moment, more than she had ever seen him, so naturally she felt the need to protect him.
She felt like she was a mass of confused and conflicting emotions at the moment. She was relieved and overjoyed to have Jack back, but she had never expected him to be in the state he was. Granted, he was improving rapidly since that first time she had seen him in the Observation Room, but his memory was still seemed no closer to being restored.
It was flattering and more than a little disconcerting that he could remember her, remember their baby, and yet could not remember any specific moments of the five years they had known each other, the four months that they were together. Would he ever get his memories back?
That was her fear, that he would never remember the key moments that formed their friendship, molded their feelings into what they were today. The day she kissed him in the locker room, the time they were stuck in Antarctica, the Zatarc incident, Jonah and Thera, Jack being forced to kill her when she was possessed by the entity. They were all integral to the unique and loving relationship they had formed, yet all he could remember were his feelings for her and not the moments that had nurtured those feelings.
Janet had assured her that it was the trauma, the no doubt constant injuries to his skull that had caused the amnesia. She was confident that his memories would come back in time, especially after he remembered his aversion to Janet and needles. Sam wanted to know how long it was going to take, and if there was anything that she could do to help it along.
Opening her eyes, she stood as an idea struck her. Maybe she should go home and rest, and bring back some mementos of Jack’s past when she came back in. Surely they might help bring his memories back. With a sense of purpose she left the mountain and headed back home.
***************************
The woman was watching him, a cold smile on her beautiful face, and an evil gleam in her eyes. Her eyes shifted quickly to the huge man standing next to him and moments later the pain increased a hundredfold. He gasped; barely managing to keep himself from losing consciousness as he felt like he was being torn limb from limb.
“Cry out,” she taunted cruelly. “Yell. Beg for mercy!” Her eyes flashed yellow, she laughed malevolently.
It was a trick; he had fallen for it before. He would cry out and the pain would only increase until he passed out from it. He wasn’t going to fall for it this time. She barked something Goa’uldish in that deep, unsexy voice and a Jaffa stepped forward carrying the Goa’uld version of a cattle prod.
Jack could barely bite back the moan of terror that the sight of the weapon caused in him; sweat broke out all over his body. He already anticipated the pain he would feel when it was pressed against his bare flesh – it was like being punched in the gut, only worse, because it felt like your whole body was on fire, like you were being torn apart with an electrical shock. Then the convulsions started.
The Jaffa raised the prod, pointing it towards Jack’s throat, as he loomed menacingly closer. His eyes mirrored the sadistic look of his Queen as he inched ever closer. The prod raised even higher, pressing against his cheek.
“No!” Jack yelled, thrashing his suddenly unshackled body. He realized his eyes were closed, and the pain he felt was different from what it should have been. It was more centralized, and he felt groggy and nauseous.
He opened his eyes experimentally, expecting to find Bastet’s pernicious face hovering above his gleefully. He sighed gratefully when his eyes were not met with that, but with the angelic face of the woman he loved. He sank back into his pillows and closed his eyes trying to calm himself, trying to control his breathless panting and the terrified shaking of his body.
A weight settled on the bed, a hand gripped his firmly. “Jack … honey. It’s okay. It was just a dream baby,” her voice told him soothingly. He could feel her moving, then her other hand started smoothing his hair. A kiss was pressed to his forehead. “Do you want to tell me what the dream was about?”
“No,” Jack replied shortly, opening his eyes. He vowed to himself that he would never tell her how he was tortured; it would upset her too much. It upset him to even think about it.
Sam’s expression was laced with concern, but she seemed to understand. She leaned forward and brushed her lips across his forehead again. “How are you feeling? Is there any pain?”
Jack closed his eyes, realizing that there was no pain, just the same numb sensation that he had grown accustomed to. His stomach turned threateningly. “No pain,” he mumbled. “Numb. Feel sick … sleepy.”
He didn’t want to sleep again, ever. Sleep only brought with it nightmares, nightmares of things that he wanted to forget, not to have them constantly dredged up for him to relive over and over again. He wanted to fall asleep and dream of his life before the torture, the life he couldn’t remember.
“Why don’t you go back to sleep then?” she suggested softly.
Jack shook his head. His eyes slid shut unwillingly and he forced them back open. “Nightmares,” he whispered. He was so tired. I can’t go back to sleep!
Sam shifted herself on the bed, barely managing to fit her body on it next to him. Propping herself against his pillows, she wrapped her arms around him, drawing him closer, guiding his head against her shoulder. “Go to sleep, Jack. I’ll be right here.”
She began humming softly, a tune that he recognized but could not name. He turned his face into her chest, listening to the sound of her heart beating, relaxed by the sound of her gentle humming. His eyes slid shut of their own accord and he drifted into a peaceful, dreamless, slumber.
***
Jack sat propped up against the raised bed, the pillow cushioning his aching back. Sam sat next to him on the bed, holding his hand, as she cradled the stack of pictures with her other. He was looking at the photos, or rather the faces in the photos, like it was the first time.
Sam said it should help him remember, but he doubted that. No one looked familiar. Well except for the few people that kept coming to his room to check on him. He knew their names, but that was it. Daniel. Janet. Teal'c. The photos meant nothing to him, the names even less.
He stopped whenever he came across a photo of Sam. The image always took his breath away. He would then lean over and place a kiss on Sam's lips to assure himself that she was real. That he wasn't dreaming again.
It was agonizing that he couldn't remember his life. All his memories were gone. All except Sam. He remembered her. Or rather, he remembered what he felt for her. His love for her was something he could never forget. No matter what.
A new face appeared in the next photo. A young girl. She looked vaguely familiar. Why?
"Who's that?" Jack asked indicating the girl.
Sam's eyes met his, and just a flash of surprise. "You don't remember?"
Jack shook his head sadly as he returned his eyes to the photo. "Is she...my daughter?" His voice faded into a whisper.
Sam laughed lightly and he jerked his head up. He couldn't resist smiling in turn.
"Not exactly," she said. "She, ah, we rescued her from a dying planet. And she really took to you. Janet adopted her. We all had a hand in raising her though."
"What's her name?" He asked quietly.
"Cassandra. Cassie."
Images flashed through his head.
Several hundred feet below ground. A dark, dense, and abandoned missile silo. He was facing an elevator. Sam was standing there holding a little girl.
Cassie.
"I can take her from here now, Captain."
"No, sir, it's okay." Sam looked into his eyes.
The elevator doors closed but not before he caught a glimpse of the sorrow written on Sam's face. The elevator descends further into the complex.
He sees the elevator stop at the very bottom. Minutes passed. Long agonizing minutes. She should be done by now, he thought. The light on the elevator started ascending again. 28...27...26...27...28.... Wait a minute here. What was going on?
"Jack, she's going back down." He hears someone say beside him.
"The hell she is." He hits the speaker button. "Captain Carter?" No answer. "Captain Carter!?"
A heavy feeling filled his gut. Something was wrong. Very wrong. He talks into the speaker again. "Sam, do you read me?"
"Colonel, I'm staying." He hears tears in her voice. What's happened? Something was terribly wrong.
He couldn't let her do that. She was putting herself in unnecessary danger. "Negative."
"Colonel, she's awake." He heard her choke on a sob. Oh God! His thoughts were echoed audibly beside him.
Silence again. He had to keep trying. "Captain, Carter. I am ordering you to get back up here, right
now." He had to get her back up here. "Right now!"
The silence lapses into the deep undulating abyss of nothingness. He looks at his watch. The time ticks down. 59...58...57. He urges the people standing next to him to leave while they still can. Daniel? Teal'c? They refuse to leave. He glances back to the elevator hoping against hope that the numbers will start moving again. They don't. His eyes return to his watch. He speaks unconsciously, not even sure what he is saying. His mind is focused elsewhere. 10...9...8. Oh God! They can't die. She can't die.
3...2...1.
His watch beeped. And ... nothing.
Maybe they were wrong about the time. Maybe they were wrong about what would happen. His thoughts are voiced again by Daniel.
He hits the speaker again, his hand shaking, hopefully unnoticeably. "Captain Carter, can you hear me?" Still no answer. "Sam, can you here me?" He tried to keep the desperation out of his voice.
"Were okay, nothing happened. Cassandra's fine, I'm fine, it didn't happen. I just...I couldn't leave her, sir." Sam said through her tears.
She couldn't leave her.
Jack was pulled out of his memories like being yanked backwards through a wormhole. He was drenched in sweat and shivering. His head was exploding. He heard a voice through the ringing in his ears. Sam.
He opened his eyes that he didn't know were closed and stared into Sam's face. She looked scared. He couldn't blame her. He was pretty freaked out himself. He sat there for a moment, unmoving. Only his eyes shifting amongst his surroundings.
"Jack?" Sam whispered standing in front of her.
Somehow he had managed to get out of bed and was standing on the cold floor of the private infirmary room. He was in a defensive, yet harmless stance. Sam had that wide-eyed look on her face. The one he'd seen so many times since he'd come back. If this was this bad for him, it couldn't be any better for her.
He stepped backwards and collapsed on the bed. He held his head in his hands. Too many things were spinning through his head.
"Jack?" Sam's voice was closer, right beside him.
He felt her arms go around him. Her lips were right next to his ear, whispering consoling and loving words. When his headache subsided, he removed his hands from his head and put them around Sam's comforting body.
Touched by Sam's patience with him, he felt she deserved to know what just happened. Or at least try to tell her. As he was really kind of lost himself.
"I remembered something." His voice was barely above a whisper.
Sam pulled back slightly and looked at him waiting for his response. "What did you remember?"
"Cassie. When we took her to that missile silo. And you didn't leave her behind. I was so scared for both of you. I couldn't lose either of you. I couldn't lose you." He dropped his eyes from hers as emotion overtook him.
Sam sat there stunned. She was amazed that that one memory had stuck out in his mind. That he'd had feelings for her back then was somewhat surprising. She had only begun to become aware of her attraction to him at the time, uncertain as to what she did feel. She had only just become accustomed to his authoritative decisions and strength in the short time that they had been assigned together. When she had to reject his command and go with her own instincts, it nearly killed her. But she had to do it; she couldn't leave Cassie, a sick, scared, lonely little girl, behind. If she had to make the decision again, she wouldn't do it differently. If she’d known then what Jack had felt for her the decision would have been a bit more difficult, however.
She brought her hands to his face to bring his eyes to meet hers. Turmoil and tears were roiling around inside, fighting for domination.
"But you knew I had to do it. Didn't you, Jack?" she asked, her voice soft.
"I knew. I would have done the same thing. I just never wanted you put in danger. I know it sounds stupid. I'm sure when we signed up for this job we knew there'd be risks, but I just..." Jack drifted off, his eyes closing momentarily.
"You just felt you should have done more," Sam said finishing his thought.
Jack opened his eyes meeting hers again, a single tear slid down his cheek. "Yeah."
Sam gathered him into her arms, cherishing the feel of his own arms around her. At the moment she didn't care that she was the one offering comfort. She had been without his embrace for so long that anything was good enough for her right then. She knew that it would take quite a while for Jack to heal. His body would be back in shape in no time, but his mind...that was another story. His mind was in a fragile state. Not only was he going to have to recover from emotional trauma, but he would have to regain his memory also. She could only imagine what it was like to have a jigsaw memory, and having to battle to put everything back into place.
She was going to be there every step of the way. She would be there for him as he had been for her when she had lost her vision.
It wasn't because she felt indebted to him, but because she loved him.
****************************
Jack, still confined to bed rest, was starting to get restless. His lunch tray was sitting in front of him nearly untouched. Occasionally he would pick at some mystery morsel with his fork, although it never reached his mouth.
He had urged Sam to go home and get some rest, but she refused. She did however; concede to going to the commissary to grab a bite to eat.
That left him alone with his thoughts and memories; or lack thereof. He winced as he thought about it. His head hurt from trying to remember things. The only solid thing he remembered was of Cassie. Then he recalled the flashes of Sam he'd gotten while still in Bastet's clutches. They seemed like memories, but he wasn't sure. He didn't have anything substantial to rely on. He would have to ask Sam about it, she could tell him.
He tossed his fork down for the umpteenth time, and this time pushed the tray and cart out of reach. He leaned back, resting his head against his pillow and closed his eyes. He had a massive headache. Maybe when that doctor came back ... What was her name ... Fraiser ... I'll ask her to give me something for it. Just as long as it isn't a shot, he added as an afterthought.
The hair on the back of his neck stood up as he was mentally transported to another place. And another time?
A dark room. He tried to move, but his body wasn't cooperating. It was too hard to move. He dropped his head from pain and fatigue, and saw he was sitting on a cot.
A noise from the opposite side of the room caught his attention. He jerked his head up, which turned out to be a bad thing to do. The window panel in the door was slid open, letting in a small shaft of light. The door opens shortly thereafter.
A military guard and an infirmary orderly carry in a stocky, bald man in a straight jacket.
"Sorry Colonel O'Neill, but your private room just became semi-private."
Jack follows the voice in the still somewhat darkened room. A woman is framed in the doorway, her white lab coat distinguishing her status and importance.
He remained silent, unsure of what was happening. He couldn't think straight. His mind was a muddled mess.
"We're running out of places to put all the victims. We've used the brigs, we've used the temp quarters; some of the storage rooms..." She spoke, her explanation drifting off into a frustrated sigh. She starts to walk towards the door, when he tries to speak.
It's so hard to speak. His throat feels dry and constricted and he can't think.
"Doc...doc..." He finally manages to croak out.
The doctor stops and turns to face him. "Did you say something?"
Feeling confident that he had her attention, he tried once more.
"Give...more..."
Oh, it hurt so badly. Why did he hurt so badly? He dropped his head, once again overcome with pain. A shadow loomed overhead.
"What? Give more what?" He heard her ask clearly confused. She kneeled down in front of him.
He looked into her eyes, needing her to understand.
"More..."He held his arm out, gesturing for relief from the pain.
Her eyebrows shot up in surprise. "An injection? You mean you want more sedative? You've already had more than the maximum safe dosage. Twice as much as anyone else because you've been more violent."
"Give."
She stood up. "No. It's not safe."
"GIVE," He yelled, but it soon dropped to a whisper.
"Why are you so insistent?"
He can't respond, only to hold out his arm again. The doctor sighs as she gives in to his request. The orderly steps up with an injection at her request. She kneels down in front of him again and rolls up the sleeve of his shirt. She taps her fingers on his arm to find the appropriate place to insert the needle. He watches as the needle is inserted into his arm. The sedative was slowly released into his bloodline. He drops his head again as he loses all control of his senses.
Through the fog in his mind he hears the doctor talking. "...must have been in a lot of pain."
The fog clears suddenly and he jerks his head up and focuses on the doctor. "Docccccc......"
The doctor whips around and stares at him. "Colonel O'Neill?"
He moves his head up and down trying to force the words out of his muddled brain and out of his mouth. Somehow he managed to tell her an affirmative answer.
The doctor...Doctor Fraiser...kneeled down in front of him. She smiles at him, realizing that it is indeed him. "So you are still in there somewhere."
His throat is still constricted, but he can think somewhat better. "Dream...dream?" He asks, confused.
Fraiser looks at him solemnly. "I'm afraid not, Colonel, it's very real. This is interesting...sedative must knock back the primitive mind. Colonel, listen to me. I am not going to be able to keep you at this level for very long. It is too dangerous. It could cause permanent brain damage."
He can make out most of what she was saying. "What? Wha-- what is it?"
He can see her mouth moving but he can't hear anything. He mentally pulls himself together. He strains his ears, so he can concentrate on what she was saying.
"It's a parasitic virus. All we can tell is that it seems to mess with body chemicals - all of them. Testosterone levels skyrocket, thus the aggressive behavior. It's a histamine-alytic, which means it breaks down histamine."
He got an idea. He really hoped she would take it, because he was going crazy. "Experiment."
Fraiser looks bewildered and Jack tries to explain the best that he can. "Experiment. On... me."
"Experiment on you?" Fraiser shakes her head, clearly understanding what he is talking about now. "No Sir I can't do that." She drops her head.
Jack reaches out his hand and lifts her chin, forcing her eyes to his. He had to make her understand.
"Use me."
Fraiser drops her head. She reaches her hand out and takes hold of his hand.
Jack flashed out of the memory, shaking and gripping the guardrails. He gasped for breath; the image had come in such a breathless rush. He closed his eyes, forcing himself to take deep, shuddering breaths.
“Are you alright Jack?” a woman’s voice said from the doorway.
His eyes shot open to find Janet standing framed in the door. She took a cautious step forward, her expression concerned. Jack couldn’t think straight. He watched her step deeper in the room, moving closer to him.
“I can trust you,” he murmured, more to himself than her.
Her brow furrowed with puzzlement. “Jack, what’s wrong?” She was standing at his bedside now. She looked like she was ready to reach out and touch him, but something held her back at the last instant.
Hesitantly he reached out and touched her hand, the tips of his fingers brushing the back of her hand. "I...I...remember you. I can trust you."
***
Sam made her way to Jack's quarters. Janet had wanted to keep a close eye on Jack after his surgery, however he was becoming restless. He no longer wanted to stay in the infirmary, so Janet agreed to partially releasing him. He still was required to remain on base for observation, but she permitted him to move to his private quarters, as they were more comfortable.
His door was closed when Sam reached it, and she didn't want to wake him if by chance he was asleep. She turned the knob quietly and stepped into the room.
The soft light of the bedside lamp cast a surreal glow on the room. Her eyes went immediately to the bed. Not seeing Jack there, she scanned the room until she spotted him sitting in the chair in the corner.
Jack's eyes were closed, and he was slumped in the chair appearing to be asleep. In fact he looked quite uncomfortable. But any sleep was better than no sleep, Sam thought.
She took a blanket off of the bed and draped it across his shoulders. She kissed him gently on the forehead when he spoke.
"You know, you were with me every night." Sam had to strain to hear him; he said it so softly.
"What?" She didn't understand what he was talking about.
"When I was ... captured ... you were with me." Jack opened his eyes. They connected with hers, and it was as if he could see clear to her soul.
He went on. "I didn't know who you were most of the time. I just knew I loved you. And that you loved me. Whenever I was...hurting...you were there with me ... smiling at me ... loving me."
Sam hung his every word. She wasn't sure what to think. Jack hadn't really talked about the time he was in captivity. He had been avoiding the entire subject. But this...this was something new. Something that she didn't know how to take. She was fascinated, yet bemused.
Jack took her hands in his and drew her onto his lap. She was stiff at first, not wanting to hinder his healing injuries. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. Sam remained silent feeling Jack's need to enlighten her.
"The baby...I felt our baby. When you were with me. I felt it move inside you. I thought it was just a silly dream, but it wasn't. I knew...somehow I knew it was real." Jack moved one of his hands under her shirt to rest on her swollen stomach. He sighed contentedly when the baby moved against his hand.
Sam went still. She'd had a dream several weeks’ back. She dreamt that Jack was with her and he had felt the first time the baby moved. But she had pushed it away, dismissing it as nothing more than a grief concocted dream. But was it really? Jack just described it to her...could it have been more than a dream? A way they had somehow connected from across the galaxies?
Just that one gesture moved Sam to tears. She had tried to be strong for Jack these past couple of weeks, but it was all too much. Just a few hours ago she didn't know how much longer she could handle it. Seeing Jack day in and day out, so fragile, so...broken was nearly enough to cause her to break down herself. But she had held strong, for his sake. She couldn't let him see how this was affecting her.
Jack reached up and wiped at the tears gathering on her cheeks. "Sam please don't cry." He whispered.
"I can't...I'm sorry...Jack" She managed between sobs.
"You don't have to be sorry, Sammy. I didn't mean to make you cry." He said holding her closer.
"You didn't. It's just...everything...so much is happening. I don't know what to do. I should, but I don't."
"Sam, you shouldn't be worrying about all this. I'm gonna be okay. I know it will take a while...but...it will happen. What you need to do is concentrate on this baby. You need to keep your strength up and get enough rest. You only have four more months till this little one gets here and you need to take it easy. Don't worry about me so much, I'll be okay, really." He said smiling down at her.
"Oh, Jack, I just want things to be normal again." Sam said against his neck, her sobbing having subsided to sniffles.
"Hey now, when has our lives ever been normal, since we met." He ran his finger under her chin, getting him a smile.
"True." She said around a giggle. "I just want things to go better than they have been. I would never complain if our lives were ever boring from now on."
"Boring? You expect to have a boring life with me? I'm hurt!" Jack said in mock seriousness.
"Okay, let's just say, less eventful then. I guess once we have a baby though our lives will be anything but that."
"That's for sure. I can't wait to be a Daddy. This baby is going to know it's loved; I'll make sure of it. It's not every day that a guy gets this lucky ya know." He commented.
Sam wondered if Jack remembered at all about Charlie. Did he remember that this wasn't the first time he was a father? Should she tell him? And if she did, could he handle it, in the precious state of mind he was in currently. Sam decided not to say anything. Something like that...well, that was something he should probably remember on his own.
She did remember what she had come to tell Jack about though. It would lift his spirits no doubt.
"Jack? I have some good news. Janet is releasing you tomorrow. She said that you have shown incredible improvement with your surgeries and rehabilitation that she's letting you go home." Sam said hoping Jack would be pleased.
"Ahh, sweet. I am so ready to get outta here. Any place would be better than stuck inside these metal walls hundreds of feet below the surface. And if you're gonna be there...then nothing could be better than that." Jack placed a kiss on Sam's lips.
************************
Sam gripped Jack’s hand firmly in her own as she led him up the walk to the front door of their home. She could feel his constant motion, his head darting from side to side, eyes roaming to take in everything around him.
She could sense his frustration that he couldn’t remember this place any better than anything else. She knew what he was feeling at the moment, she knew that whilst everything and everyone had a sense of familiarity to him, that was all he had. There were no firm, pertinent, memories, nothing absolute except for the occasional flashes of particularly poignant moments from his past.
Releasing his hand for a moment, she hastily unlocked and opened the door before taking it again, offering him a comforting smile at the same time. She could see him getting increasingly nervous, his grip on her hand tightening.
Sam stepped inside, pulling him with her. His eyes were darting about the entranceway, his shoulders slumping slightly. He looked almost childlike, his eyes wide and inquisitive on his still pale face. She could see that nothing in the hall was sparking a memory, but she had expected that.
She led him deeper into the house. She had already formed in her mind which rooms were most likely to elicit those memories; she planned on taking him to those rooms first. They stepped down into the living room and Sam let go of his hand to allow him the chance to move around the room unhindered and look at the mementos of his past that were gathered there. She settled into the armchair and watched him.
His movements were slow and deliberate. He edged around the room quietly, slowly taking in each ornament, each piece of furniture and adornment. His hands remained at his side, his posture stiff and self-conscious.
Sam could feel herself tensing more and more the further around the room he got. She was doing everything she could think of to try and kick-start his memories; even this didn’t seem to be working. She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to suppress her own frustration at the situation. She felt so helpless.
A strangled moan tore her eyes back open. Jack had made it to the hearth; he stood rooted in place, his eyes glued to the photo that they had argued about so many months before. She didn’t know what to do. Was he remembering something? He was standing so still, so rigid, that if it wasn’t for the movement of his chest you could have taken him for a statue. She didn’t move; she couldn’t. She didn’t want to risk interrupting him if he was in fact remembering something.
When he did finally move it was so quick and sudden that he startled her. Snatching the picture off the wall, he crossed the room in two large steps. His eyes were wild, his expression furious and hurt, his face was red and he was shaking with barely suppressed emotion. He towered above her, forcing her to crane her neck to look up at him and brandishing the frame in a white knuckled grip.
“How could you not tell me Sam?” he bit out with a ferocity she hadn’t heard from him before. “How could you not have warned me what happened to my son?”
His voice was strangled; he was fighting back tears. Looking ready to tear the place apart, he raised his arm and brought it down forcefully, releasing the frame at the bottom of the arch. It struck the floor with a resounding crash. She barely flinched, knowing that even in a rage he wouldn’t hurt her. She held his angry gaze, not even glancing at the shattered picture, though the action had surprised her deeply. Jack was not a violent man.
Sam couldn’t answer him, partly because she couldn’t find her voice and partly because she had no answer for him. How would he feel if she told him that she didn’t tell him because she thought the picture of Charlie would shock him into remembering something?
Her mouth opened and she snapped it shut again with an audible pop. Jack’s face twisted in an array of emotions – sadness, pain, remorse, anger. He turned quickly and stalked out of the living room. Sam sat forward, grasping at the air where he had just been standing. “Jack, wait!” she called just as the door slammed shut behind him.
***
Jack had to get out of the house; he had to get away from the memories that had suddenly soared up at the sight of the picture of his son. He had to get away from Sam. He had to sort out the jumble of emotions that were suddenly roiling through his confused mind.
He had no idea where he was going, but before he knew it he was scrabbling up a ladder and was standing on a little platform on the roof of his house. He glanced around, his eyes sliding past the telescope to the chair, and he settled down in it silently. He did not remember that he had this up here, but instinctively he had known it was here, that this was his sanctuary when he wanted to escape.
His body was aching, his cheek throbbing in a slow stabbing pain that was growing to be nearly unbearable. It would have been, if he didn’t have so much running through his mind distracting him. How could Sam have done that? How could she have not told me?
Unwillingly he closed his eyes and the memories flooded over him in a rush that left his head spinning. Faces, places, sounds, voices spun around his mind quickly, with no form and no sequence. He tried to slow the flow, try and make sense of the puzzle his mind was throwing up in front of him.
Jack walked slowly through the back yard, his eyes darting left to right searching for any sign of Charlie. Tightening his grip on the baseball mitt in his hand, he turned his attention to the playhouse that Charlie lived in most days.
“Charlie?” He called out. “Sorry I’m late … stopped to get you something,” he explained, banging the mitt against his palm. He knew Charlie was probably angry with him. He had promised to take him out to the park to play some ball three hours ago, but as usual Jack had been held up at the base and was late. “You there?”
Charlie raced out from behind the playhouse in a blur. He raised his arms in front of him; something green and plastic gripped between his small hands. “You’re dead!”
Jack started when he realized what it was, a tiny ball of dread forming in his stomach. A gun. Charlie was playing with a gun. “Where’d you get that?” he asked, surprise making the question a little gruffer than he had intended.
“Jeff Eisen gave it to me,” Charlie answered defensively. “It’s just a water gun.”
Jack reached out and took the gun out of Charlie’s hands. He wasn’t a strict father, but this was the only thing he and Sara had been adamant about. They didn’t want Charlie playing with guns. “It doesn’t matter.”
“You have a gun,” Charlie argued.
Always the same. Charlie always used this argument when it came down to guns, almost like he didn’t understand that Jack’s gun was a lot more dangerous, that it was a deadly weapon. “That’s different,” he replied flatly
“Why?”
Jack shook his head in frustration. They had gone over this time and time again. Why didn’t he just listen? Why didn’t he realize that guns were dangerous?
Charlie’s face turned red, as if he knew what his father’s answer was going to be. Again. He brushed past Jack.
“Charlie?” Jack turned in the direction Charlie was heading. “Charlie, where are you going?”
Charlie turned slowly, angrily. “Inside,” he replied bitingly. Turning on his heel he started running up the back stairs to the house. He slammed the door shut behind him.
Jack gripped his head in his hands, fighting back the tears that were suddenly threatening. They had argued about guns two weeks before the accident. He remembered that now. He remembered how Charlie had avoided him angrily for the rest of the evening, and whenever he had tried to bring the issue up Charlie would walk away.
Oh god. Tears began to flow down his cheeks as he remembered how rotten he had felt after that argument. But even in retrospect he knew that he wouldn’t have handled it any differently.
Another, more vibrant memory stuck in his mind.
Pulling his jeep up in the driveway, Jack quickly put it in park and hopped out, relieved to finally be home. He had just been given a weeks leave, a week to spend with Sara and Charlie, doing all the family things that he always missed out on because of his work.
Sara was sitting on the front steps, pruning back a potted rose, basking in the last of the afternoon sunlight. She looked radiant, she looked beautiful. God he’d missed her. Breaking into a jog he crossed the front yard and sat on the step next to her. She was grinning at him; he couldn’t help smiling back. He pulled her into his arms and brushed a quick kiss across her lips.
“How was your day?”
Sara smiled one of her priceless smiles. “Fine,” she replied, she reached behind her and picked something up. “Oh, look what came home from school today.”
She handed Jack a photo and he took it. He looked down and smiled. Charlie had been adamant that he wasn’t going to have his photo taken that day. He had kicked up such a fuss when they told him that he had to. The photo was great.
“Is Charlie about ready?” he asked. They had an appointment with the park that he intended to keep today.
“Yeah,” Sara replied happily, looking around the yard for him. “He was running around here a few minutes ago.”
The sound echoed through the neighborhood, reverberating in Jack’s ears. It was a distinctive sound, but it took a moment for him to realize what it was. His gaze shot to the window of his office. The sound had come from in there. A gun shot.
“Charlie!” Sara yelled, but it was indistinct.
Jack had already stood, automatically racing in the house and up the stairs as the sound still echoed through his ears. The door to his office was closed. He forced down the panic that suddenly roared up on him as he gripped the handle of the door, twisted and pushed.
The sight that confronted him would forever haunt him. Charlie, lying on the floor, Jack’s gun lying inches from his hand. His eyes were drawn to the blood blossoming on his dying son’s torn chest.
Jack gasped and opened his eyes. He was unable to stop the tears that ran down his face, the sobs that shook his shoulders violently. It hurt so much, like it was happening all over again, like he was experiencing it for the first time.
Arms slid around his shoulders, pulling him into their warm, comforting embrace. He hadn’t even heard Sam come up. He couldn’t be angry with her anymore; it didn’t even seem consequential anymore. He had lost his son, with his own weapon.
“Ssh baby,” she whispered into his ear. “It’s okay. I’m so sorry Jack”
He wrapped his arms around her, and allowed himself to do the one thing that he had been unable to do back then, even with his wife. He let it all out.
********************
Sam had lost all track of time as she sat on the rooftop platform holding Jack in her arms. She tried to fight back the nagging, pervading guilt that she felt. She had caused this, by not telling him about Charlie she had caused him this pain. She was also aware that he was allowing himself to release the feelings that he had kept pent up since Charlie had died.
Jack had been sobbing for what seemed like hours, though he had not spoken a word. She knew that he needed to get it out, that he was releasing seven years worth of pain and heartache, and that it was only the beginning of mending the rift in his heart. If he was finally willing to confront his demons now, she knew it would take time for him to heal. She would be there for him through it.
She closed her eyes and held him tighter in her arms. She could only begin to imagine what it must have been like. To outlive your own child, no parent should ever have to deal with a burden as great as that. To have lost that child in such a senseless and tragic way … she wasn't at all certain that she would be able to cope if it had happened to her child.
Jack gave a shuddering breath and pulled back slightly, enough to meet her eyes. Her breath was taken away by the pain she saw shining in the depths of his eyes. Her heart went out to him. He looked so powerless and vulnerable. She had never seen him look this way before.
Cupping his cheek with her hand, she caressed it slightly. "Do you want to tell me about what happened?" she whispered, leaning forward and brushing the lightest of kisses on his forehead.
His shoulders began shaking slightly. She enveloped him in her arms; it was so hard seeing him like this and being completely unable to help him. He buried his face in her neck. "I've never told you about it, have I?" he asked, his voice slightly muffled.
Sam shook her head. "No. I don't think you've really talked to anyone about what happened, Jack," she replied quietly. "But I knew you would tell me about it in your own time."
She could feel his lips move across her collarbone in a tiny smile. "Even if my own time meant years … or never?"
"Yeah."
"It's just … it hurts so much to even think about it," he told her, pulling away from her slightly.
"I know it does Jack," she responded,"but it helps to talk about it."
Sam moved away from him, wanting to give him space, to show him that she wasn't about to pressure him into talking to her- to show him that she was willing to listen whenever he was willing to talk to her. She held his hand, though, tightly in her own, hoping to offer comfort in that small way.
She watched him as he closed his eyes. His face looked tormented, like he was reliving the moment again. Fresh tears trailed down his cheeks. He opened them again, his dark eyes catching hers. "I killed him. I killed my son."
The pain in his voice tore at her heart. Holding his gaze, she gave his hand a little squeeze. "It was an accident, Jack. You didn't kill him."
"It was an accident that shouldn't have happened," he grated angrily, tearing his hand out of hers. "I should have locked my gun away. I shouldn't have even had one in the house!"
"Why? I'll always have one in mine … in ours."
"No you won't," he snapped coldly.
Sam could feel him withdrawing from her, drawing back into himself. She couldn't let him do it. It was what he had always done, shut the pain away to be dealt with later. To never be dealt with. "Yes," she replied firmly. "I will. I want my family to be safe. I want to be able to defend myself if we're threatened."
"How can they be safe with a weapon in the house, Sam?" he asked his voice thick with disbelief. "I thought the same thing when Charlie was born and look what happened! He found it … he thought it was a toy, despite me and Sara telling him time and time again that guns were dangerous!"
"You weren't to know that he was going to find it," Sam said quietly.
Jack stood quickly, startling her. Recrimination and anger flashed through his features. "I should have, Sam. Two weeks before I told him off for playing with a stupid plastic water gun. He didn't understand why he wasn't allowed to play with them. We argued about it, but I couldn't make him understand."
His face crumpled and he turned away from her, his shoulders shaking slightly. Sam was about to stand, was about to reach out to him when he spoke again. "If I had been home more, maybe I could have made him understand, but I wasn't. He idolized me, not because I was his dad, but because I got to run around with a gun. He wanted to be just like me."
His voice was quiet, the anger faded away and replaced by dejection. Sam wanted so much to reach out and touch him, to try and take away the pain, but she knew she couldn't, that he wouldn't want her to. "But I never once thought that he would find my gun. I had it hidden away up in my closet; I thought he would never be able to reach it up there. I just didn't see it coming."
"That picture downstairs on the wall … we got that that day. Sara was showing it to me when we heard the gunshot. I didn't even know what the sound was; it took me a while to realize. When I got upstairs I … he was just lying there. He wasn't even crying … he didn't make a sound, but his eyes were open, he knew what was happening."
"I couldn't move Sam, for the longest time I stood there trying to understand what I was seeing. He looked so small; he was just a baby. When I did finally move, there was nothing I could do. I held him in my arms. I tried to stop the bleeding, there was just so much of it. I held him all the way to the hospital. I held him as he took that last breath and died."
His voice broke with emotion and he began sobbing again. Sam quickly stood and closed the gap between them. She turned him around and wrapped her arms around him, feeling her own tears prickling her eyelids. "I'm so sorry, Jack."
His arms locked behind her and he held her tightly against him like he never wanted to let her go. She could feel his lips pressed against her collarbone, he kissed it softly. "Don't be sorry … don't pity me, Sam," he murmured, his lips still brushing against her collarbone. "Parents aren't supposed to outlive their kids, but there's nothing you and I can do to change what happened to Charlie. I have a second chance now Sam, and I'm not going to blow it."
Sam flushed slightly, trying to ignore the feelings that Jack's lips were inciting in her. The fire in his voice offered her a small measure of relief, demolishing the small glimmer of fear that she felt that he might have given up on them. She closed her eyes and let out the breath she hadn't realized she was holding. "I'll always be here for you Jack, whether you want to talk about it or just want me to hold you."
"I know that baby," he replied huskily, his hand drifting up to settle on the back of her neck.
She felt herself melting. He hadn't called her that since he had gotten back. Breaking the embrace she silently took his hand and led him down off the roof. Maybe things were going to work out okay after all.
**************************
Jack's eyes burned. He had been staring at the ceiling for what felt like hours, fighting a battle with eyelids that were growing heavier and heavier with each passing moment. Sam's soft breathing was tickling his shoulder. He could feel the soft swell of her belly pressed against his side, moving slightly as she breathed. He ran his fingers in soft circles around the small of her back. He loved touching her.
She muttered something unintelligible and rolled onto her back. His eyes followed her, naked and exposed to him from the waist up. He moved onto his side so he could look at her without having to worry about her getting self-conscious at the attention he was paying her. Her growing belly; smooth, flawless skin; her perfect, pert breasts. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, and she was his.
He sighed, suddenly feeling the need to be doing something. Sitting up slightly, Jack slid out of the bed, unable and unwilling to sleep, and careful not to wake the sleeping woman next to him. Leaning across the bed, he brushed a kiss onto her cheek and tucked the blankets up to her chin. She sighed softly and rolled over onto her side.
Tugging on a shirt and tracksuit pants, he padded quietly out of the bedroom. He was exhausted, but he couldn't bring himself to let his eyes slide shut. Sleeping meant dreams; it meant being painfully reminded of the atrocities that Bastet and her loyal Jaffa had done to him. He never wanted to relive that again, he didn't even want to be reminded of it.
At least by not sleeping he had the opportunity to explore the house at his own pace, to see if anything triggered a memory. If he wasn't going to sleep he might as well be doing something useful with his time. Stepping into the hall, he pulled the bedroom door shut behind him.
Glancing around him he slid a hand along the wall, instinctively seeking out the switch he knew was nestled there. He flicked the switch, squinting as light suddenly flooded the hall. He quickly turned the dimmer down, enough to illuminate the hall, without being blinded himself.
His gaze flickered around the hallway as he tried to decide where to begin his exploration. His eyes were drawn to the closed door directly opposite their bedroom. Something was tickling at the back of his mind; a thought niggling at him that he should know what this room was. Something told him that it was important.
The feeling spurring him on, he took a couple of steps across the hall and gripped the handle, wracking his brain to try and remember why this particular room felt so important to him. When he realized that the answer wasn't just going to pop into his head, he turned the handle and pushed the door open.
Sliding his hand along the wall, he switched on the light and stood studying the room for a long time. A wealth of images flashed into his mind in a breathless blur, confirming that his feeling had been right, that this room was important, not only to him but to Sam as well.
It was the baby's room, but not only that. He had proposed to Sam in this room, the same night that he, Daniel and Teal'c had finished decorating it. He closed his eyes, immersing himself in the memories. His search for the perfect ring and subsequently finding it, the very one that was now prominently displayed on her ring finger. Decorating the room with Teal'c and Daniel. His nervousness that night when he asked her to marry him.
Jack smiled at the memories. He had known during his captivity that his feelings were very real, but with the lack of a specific memory to base them on he had wondered whether it was something his mind had conjured up to give him a reason to live. He had returned to have the feelings validated, but still have no memory of their life together. It was nice, though, to now remember some of the events that formed their relationship.
He loved her. He loved their unborn child.
A soft knock at the door startled him, and the memories fled. Who the hell was that? Quickly, he left the room and rushed to the door before the person could knock on the door again, waking Sam. He didn't want that, she needed the rest. He pulled the door open and stopped a biting remark ready on his tongue.
"Uh … Hi Jack."
"Daniel?" Jack asked uncertainly. A visit from the younger man had been the last thing he had been expecting, especially at two o'clock in the morning. He could see the hesitation in Daniel's youthful face, and he could read him enough to see that something was bothering him. Why else would he be here now? "Bit late for a social call isn't it?"
Daniel flashed him a quick smile that didn't reach his eyes. He shrugged,"Yeah I guess it is, but it looked like you were still up. The lights were on."
Jack nodded as he stepped out of the doorway to let Daniel in. "Yeah, havin' trouble sleeping," he replied. "Coffee?"
He saw Daniel's eyes light up as he stepped into the hall and pulled the door shut behind him. "Please."
Leaving Daniel to remove his coat in the hall, Jack moved into the kitchen and started to prepare the coffees. Somehow he had known that coffee was Daniel's vice. He walked back into the living room shortly carrying two steaming mugs. He handed one to Daniel before he sat in his chair opposite the sofa. Daniel took a careful swig of the hot liquid then placed the mug on the coffee table in front of him. He leaned back against the sofa and exhaled deeply.
"So what brings you here so late Daniel?" Jack asked, naturally intrigued by the late call. "I mean, is this normal? You coming around at some ungodly hour?"
Daniel smiled the first genuine smile Jack had seen from him tonight. "I've done it occasionally, you have too. Besides, you were up anyway."
"Yeah I was." Jack replied quietly, lapsing into silence. He could tell that Daniel had obviously come to talk to him about something, but he didn't feel right asking him what it was. It seemed to him that Daniel wasn't ready to talk about what was bothering him anyway.
"You still don't remember me, do you Jack?" Daniel asked, breaking the silence, frustration lacing the disappointed tone in his voice. He stood up from his seat and began pacing the length of the living room. "You don't remember the first Abydos mission, our first meeting. Me staying behind on Abydos to be with Sha're?"
"Who's Sha're?"
Daniel stopped in mid-step, his eyes wide with surprise. "My wife Jack."
"Oh," Jack responded stupidly, his mind working overtime to process this new information. "Wife? But what about Janet?"
Jack didn't miss the sad look that flittered across Daniel's face. "She's dead Jack," he muttered darkly,"but that's not the point. The point is that we've been friends for years. You've saved my life hundreds of times. You've trusted me with your life…"
You've trusted me with your life. He didn't hear the rest of what Daniel said. The line struck a cord with him. It sparked a memory.
He was hiding in the shadows, hoping that it would provide him enough cover. A tenseness filled the temple grounds, he could feel it from Carter, could feel it in Teal'c's and Bratac's readiness. They were outgunned and outnumbered, surprise was their only chance.
The footsteps echoed in the grounds as the Jaffa stepped through the entranceway to the Temple. Jack watched from his vantage point as they walked straight down the main path, filled with their own sense of self-importance.
It was then Jack noticed the Monk standing in front of the main door to the temple. This was not going to be good. With a nagging sense of dread he watched as the Jaffa approached the monk, helpless to do anything to help. He couldn't give up his position; it would risk the rest of the team.
"You are not welcome here," the young monk told them innocently.
Jack flinched. They didn't care about that; all they cared about was getting the Harcesis for their snakehead god.
"In the name of the god Apophis we've come for a young boy," the Jaffa told him.
"You will leave now."
Jack shook his head. Don't be stupid! Didn't he realize how ruthless and dangerous these men are, or did he think his little trick with the flame might scare them away?
"We will not," the Jaffa responded, inching closer to the Monk. "Stand aside."
A sudden crash of thunder drew Jack's attention from the scene in front of him to the sky. It had been crystal clear moments before, but now he could see a massive storm front rolling in, fast. He glanced quickly at Sam and found she was looking at the same thing. She met his eyes, her expression mirroring his own. Things were rapidly going from bad to worse.
Jack tightened his grip on his P-90 as he turned his attention back on the Jaffa in time to see him charge his staff and fire one shot. The monk fell back as the blast went clear through his chest, dead before he even hit the ground.
"No!" Daniel's yell echoed through the grounds. He raced out of the main doors in a blur, still barefoot and seemingly unaware of the danger he had just run into. He stopped next to the Monk's body, oblivious to the fact that five staff weapons were now fixed in his direction.
Jack had to act. He stood quickly, aiming his P-90 at the head Jaffa's chest. "Drop your weapons!"
The Jaffas' attention, and their staffs, turn on Jack and he wonders if his decision to come out of cover was wise, but it was Daniel's life at stake here after all. He can hear Sam moving next to him, though not standing, as well as Teal'c and Bra'tac and the familiar sounds of their staffs charging. His finger tightens slightly over the trigger of his gun. Oh this is SO not good!"Do it!"
The Jaffa looks at him scornfully. "Kreel sekh," he spits.
Like I'm supposed to know what that means! Trying to keep one eye on Daniel and the other on the Jaffa, Jack watches as the Archeologist stands from the Monk's side, sadness written clear on his face. He raises his hands above his head and starts moving closer to the Jaffa. "Drop your weapons!"
They weren't moving. The Jaffa's attention turned back to Daniel. Jack went back on guard. Don't do anything stupid Danny! Don't draw attention to yourself! "You heard him!" Jack yelled in an attempt to divert their attention from Daniel.
"I was talking to you Jack," his voice was quiet, but deadly serious.
"Wha…", Jack stopped, almost lowering the P-90. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "What?" he asked in disbelief.
"Do it now, all of you." He was still moving forward slowly. His arms were still raised above his head. Purposefully, he seemed to stop once he was standing almost directly in between the Jaffa and the rest of his team.
"Daniel?" Jack asked sharply. This was crazy, completely and utterly, totally insane. Daniel was overstepping the mark now. That bloody monk had gotten to him. He was certain that Daniel was going to start talking in proverbs soon.
"Jack I was wrong," his voice had taken on an almost pleading tone. "I was very wrong. One of those aliens I thought was long gone is still here."
So? Jack almost snapped at him. What difference does that make? He bit his lip, knowing that his decision could mean the difference between life and death for all of them.
"Sir, we put our guns down and we're dead," Sam stated the same thought that was occupying his mind.
"You are outnumbered and surrounded. You will die if you do not," the Jaffa spat haughtily.
"Jack, if you're ever gonna trust me on anything, now is the time," Daniel pleaded. His face showed so much. He looked certain that they had to do this, his belief that they would be all right seemed to be resolute. "The alien is the one with all the powers and she is not someone you want to fool with, if you get my drift."
Jack was pretty sure he had never been in this sort of quandary before. His instincts screamed to trust Daniel, but his years in the military told him that it was going to make them exposed, that it was an unnecessary risk.
"You must do it," Bra'tac whispered urgently.
His decision was made, not without the sinking feel of dread in his stomach as he dropped the gun to the ground by his feet. He held Daniel's eyes, showing him that he did trust him. If he thought this was the right move then he had to believe him. He was relieved to hear Sam's gun clatter to the ground, followed quickly by the sounds of the two Staff weapons being dropped.
"Kill them."
Instantly he regretted the decision. Was this how it was supposed to be, they show an ounce of valor and it gets thrown in their face. They were about to die. He kept his eyes open; if he was going to die he wanted to face the snakey bastard as he took his life.
He flinched as the Staff's charged again and two shots were fired. He couldn't help the feeling of horror he felt as he watched the two fireballs speed towards him and Carter. There was so much they all had left to say and do, and now they weren't going to get the opportunity.
Jack was about to close his eyes, when a cloud shot in front of them, absorbing the energy of the blasts moments before they would have struck them. He didn't think he would ever comprehend what had just happened, nor could he comprehend the two shots that were fired at Teal's and Bra'tac that were absorbed in a similar way.
He glanced at Sam, catching her eye and her slight shrug that she, too, had no explanation. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Daniel raise a hand and wave at the Jaffa. He mutters something that Jack was pretty sure was ‘Bye'. What the hell is going on?
A massive clap of thunder almost drives him to his knees with its intensity, and with a sudden flash the temple grounds fill up with bright light. Lightning, Jack suddenly realizes as he makes out five distinct bolts shooting out of the sky and into the bodies of the Jaffa. They scream in agony for a few moments, their screams accentuated by an explosion in the distance that could only be a ship exploding.
Jack stood rooted in place, watching the Jaffa writhe in agony as the lightning slowly cooked them from the inside. In a matter of moments the show is over, the lightning disappearing as suddenly as it appeared and the Jaffa slump to the ground in five separate smoking heaps.
Jack gasped and opened his eyes before the memory overwhelmed him. He looked up to find Daniel standing over him, a hand gripping his shoulder gently, his eyes wide and face pale.
"Jack, are you alright?"
Running a hand over his face, Jack found that he'd been sweating. Damn. "Yeah I'm fine Daniel. I just remembered something."
"Oh," Daniel replied. "What?"
"I don't know, Danny." Jack sighed. "We were in a temple, surrounded by Jaffa. You asked me to trust you and drop my gun. I did and the Jaffa died."
"Oh that. You mean when Oma Desala saved us when we were trying to find the Harcesis?"
"I don't really remember the specifics Danny," Jack muttered. He didn't want to talk about it. It just made him feel rotten that he still couldn't remember much. "You still haven't told me why you've come around so late."
Daniel smiled before moving and resuming his seat. He seemed to have relaxed a little. "No I haven't, have I?" Pulling off his glasses he rubbed at his eyes tiredly. "But now that I'm here it doesn't feel as important as it did when I left home."
"Daniel," Jack admonished him sharply,"you didn't turn up here at two o'clock in the morning to suddenly change your mind about why you came here. It was important then, it must still be important now."
He offered a brief laugh. "You'll never change Jack," he responded. He sighed loudly, putting his glasses back on. "Now I feel stupid. I'm … it's gonna sound stupid and petty to you Jack."
"Maybe a beer will help loosen up your tongue a bit?" Jack suggested semi-jokingly. It had been quite a while since he'd had a beer.
"You're offering me a beer at two o'clock in the morning?"
Jack shrugged, feigning innocence. "Sure, why not?" He stood quickly and headed into the kitchen before Daniel had a chance to reply and quickly snagged two beers from the fridge. Walking back into the living room, he found Daniel settled back in his seat, the amused look on his face barely covering the trepidation. He took the proffered bottle with a word-less thanks.
Settling back into his armchair, Jack popped the cap off his bottle and took a deep draught, studying Daniel the whole time, marveling at how easy it was to read him.
They lapsed into a companionable silence, quietly enjoying their beers. Jack could see Daniel about to speak several times, before changing his mind. He smiled to himself. "Just spit it out Danny."
Daniel flushed with frustration and slight embarrassment. He set his beer down; knowing that he shouldn't have drank it in the first place. It was affecting him in a major way. He scrubbed a hand over his face. "I've just … I dunno. I've had a lot on my mind lately."
"Are you and Janet having problems?"
"No!" Daniel replied defensively, straightening in his seat. "I came over because I wanted some advice." He was looking more awkward and uncomfortable with each passing moment.
Jack felt his eyebrows rise. "Advice? From me?" he asked with surprise and a touch of humor in his voice.
A sheepish look crossed Daniel's face. Leaning forward he picked up the bottle again and took another mouthful. "Yeah."
Jack shook his head in amazement. "Wow," he murmured. "Are you sure I'm the right person to give you advice?" he joked.
Daniel's lips formed a tight line. Banging the bottle down on the table, he stood up, his face red with anger. "You're right. I should've known better." Turning, he began to stalk swiftly up the stairs to the door.
"Daniel, wait," Jack called after him. "I was kidding!" He stood quickly, racing after the younger man, catching him before he managed to open the front door. "Daniel, stop!"
Daniel turned, looking more and more irritated. "Jack, this isn't something to joke about. I've been doing some real serious thinking, and I wanted to get your advice about it, not be ridiculed."
Jack reached out and grabbed his arm. Turning him he led him back down to the lounge. "I'm sorry Daniel. You know me; I always say the wrong thing at the wrong time."
Daniel snorted; letting himself be guided back to his seat. "Yeah you do."
Jack snatched up his beer and settled back in his armchair. "So what did you want my advice about?"
Daniel sighed, nervousness tingeing his face making him look even younger. "I've been thinking about asking Janet to marry me. I want to have a family with her, I want kids."
Jack couldn't help the smile that spread across his face. Daniel and Janet made such a cute couple. He could see how deeply they felt about each other; feel the love so to speak. He might not remember how long they had been together, but it didn't matter. "That's great, Daniel!"
Shifting in his seat, Daniel forced a smile. "Yeah I guess. I just … I don't know if it's the right time, or even if it's what she wants. I don't want anything to go wrong."
Jack sat forward in his seat. "Why wouldn't she want to marry you Daniel? You're a great guy and I can see how much she loves you."
"How do you know I'm a great guy?" Daniel muttered under his breath, but Jack still caught the words.
He knew he would be lying to himself if he tried to believe they didn't sting a little. "Daniel, just because I can't remember much doesn't mean I don't know. We wouldn't be friends if you weren't would we?"
"No, we wouldn't," Daniel replied despondently, flushing with embarrassment. "The thing is I don't want her to feel pressured, to feel like I'm rushing things with her."
Jack watched as Daniel stood and started pacing again. He settled back in his seat, sensing that Daniel could probably pace restlessly for quite a while. "How long has this been on your mind?"
Daniel paused, glancing back at him with chagrin. "Umm … actually when you and Sam … when I found out you were having a baby," he replied quietly.
He sank back down on the sofa, studiously avoiding meeting Jack's eyes. A silence developed between them, thick, though not uncomfortable. Jack searched his muddled mind to try and find something motivational to say to Daniel. What would I have told him in the past?
"Look, Daniel," he said, breaking the silence. "All I can say is that you have to do what feels right to you. If you feel in your gut that you want to spend the rest of your life with her, tell her that."
Daniel studied him for a long time, his face unreadable. Jack could see the thoughts ticking over in those intelligent eyes. A smile slid leisurely over the younger man's face. "Thanks Jack. I knew you'd be able to help."
He jumped up, moving fast towards the steps, obviously intending on leaving. Jack reached out his arm as he moved past, stopping him. "Where are you going?"
"Home."
Jack stood up, still gripping his arm. "No your not, I know what you and alcohol are like," he told him, somehow knowing that Daniel and alcohol did not mix well at all. "You can crash in the spare room, the beds already made up."
Daniel smiled at him. "You're right about that," he laughed. "But I'm not actually that tired."
Jack clapped him on the back. "Another beer then?" he asked, taking his arm and leading him back towards the kitchen. He had missed beer, more than he thought possible. Beer and hockey. The thought popped into his head and his smile widened.
Daniel shot him a wary look. "You trying to get me drunk, Jack?"
"Who me?" he replied innocently. "No! No reason why we can't enjoy another though is there? We're just two friends kicking back, enjoying a drink, reminiscing…" He drifted off for a moment. "Well you'll be the doing the reminiscing for the moment."
Daniel laughed softly and something in it told Jack that this was something the younger man needed, something they hadn't done for a long time. "Sounds good, Jack. Sounds real good."
***********************
Janet rolled over onto her side, stretching her arm out across her bed to find it disconcertingly empty and cold. She opened her eyes with a sigh as she attempted to quell the nagging worry that she was beginning to feel.
This was the first night in months that they hadn't been together, apart from the times Daniel had been off world on a mission. Every night he was Earth-side they were together, except for tonight. In fact, she hadn't seen or heard from him since lunch at the base, which was unusual in itself. Where was he?
Now that she thought about it, he had been acting strangely lately. He'd grown quiet and distant, more so once Jack had been found and returned. She had just assumed it was out of concern for his friend, then later because of Jack's inability to remember anything. Jack was his best friend, she knew it chafed at Daniel that he didn't even remember him.
Maybe she had been wrong. Maybe it wasn't Jack that had been bothering him after all, not totally. Which only left one thing that it could possibly be. Her … them … their relationship. She tried to dismiss the thought. If there was anything wrong between them she would know. If Daniel was bothered by something between them he would have talked to her.
Stop being silly! She berated herself. Tossing the bedclothes back, she crawled out of bed knowing she wasn't going to be getting anymore sleep tonight. She was too worked up, she was too worried. This was so unlike Daniel.
She padded quietly out of the bedroom, almost tiptoeing down the hallway past Cassie's room. The last thing she wanted was a grumpy teenager on her hands. She made her way downstairs and into the kitchen. She needed coffee, lots and lots of coffee.
As she pottered around the kitchen, she risked a glance at the clock on the microwave. She hadn't slept a wink all night, but had been curiously reluctant to check the time. That would just make her seem possessive. Something must have come up, that's all; she tried to reassure herself.
He probably got busy translating some amazingly ancient message on a stone slab stuck in a dark corner of his office, or he was evaluating some video feedback on their latest mission trying to decipher some glyphs that hadn't been seen in millennia. He'd done that before. But he normally phoned at some stage, just for a chat. No matter how much he got tied up in his artifacts he always seemed to find the time to pick up the phone and chat, no matter how fascinating the item was.
Janet poured herself a cup of coffee as soon as it finished brewing. She relocated herself to the living room, where she could be more comfortable while she waited. She knew that Daniel would be home any time. He would walk through the door carry his tote with his arms full of books and papers like he always did. Then she would go over and help relieve him of his self-made burden and they would make their way upstairs to their bedroom like they always did.
Janet looked at the phone sitting on the coffee table, willing it to ring. Any minute it would ring and Daniel would tell her he was sorry for being late and he would be home soon. She sat ... and waited ... and it still didn't ring. 0345. I can't take it anymore. She picked up the phone and dialed the number to Daniel's office. It rang once ... she was being silly ... it rang twice ... he was going tell her that she was silly for worrying ... it rang three times ... four times ... five ... six ...
Janet sat there listening to the hollow ringing for what seemed forever. Finally she hung up the phone. Where could he be?
A thought struck her and she smiled. Sometimes Daniel would use Sam's lab for research. So he wouldn't be within hearing distance of his phone. She dialed the number to Sam's lab, and waited. After waiting for another five minutes she hung up the phone, frustrated and experiencing the beginning stages of concern.
The dark was starting to close in on her, making her feel claustrophobic. Her worry was increasing with each passing moment as she sat in the darkened room searching her mind for some reason that Daniel wasn't at home, and where the hell he might be at this time in the morning.
0400.
She dialed the number to the only other place Daniel could be. Sam and Jack's. Flinching, she hoped that they wouldn't be too upset at this late night … early morning … intrusion. She felt herself tensing as the phone rang once … twice …
"O'Neill's House of Madness," a voice slurred over the phone, followed by a series of very unmasculine giggles. Jack, a very inebriated Jack by the sound of it. The doctor in her felt its hackles rise, and she bit down the urge to berate him for drinking alcohol whilst on pain killers, but he of all people deserved it at the moment.
She could hear muffled giggles in the background, a male by the sounds of it. It couldn't be, she thought, not Daniel. "Jack? It's Janet."
"Jannie!!" Jack squealed down the line a strangely girlie sound coming from the Air Force Colonel, forcing her to pull the phone away from her ear. "How are you, baby?"
Baby? She had never, in all the years she had known Jack, been referred to by him as baby. He must be drunk, very very drunk. If she hadn't been so uptight, she might actually have laughed; it was a sweet thing to hear coming from Jack O'Neill's mouth.
"Jack … is Daniel there?" she asked shortly.
"I'm disappointed Janet," he slurred. "That you don't want to talk to me. I am, after all, your number one patient."
"Second, Jack," she responded, unable to prevent the small smile that formed on her face. "Daniel is still my number one patient."
Jack groaned loudly, even that sound seemed slurred to her ears. How much had he had to drink? "I see," he moaned,"I see … a bit of favoritism goin' on here do we Doc?"
"Of course Jack. At least Daniel doesn't moan and groan every five minutes in my infirmary," she retorted.
Jack burst out laughing. "No, he just moans and groans in a different way when he gets the Doctors special treatment."
Janet felt herself blushing. Jack was definitely not a crude person, most of the time. She couldn't help laughing though. "Very funny Jack," she said, trying to keep the humor out of her voice. "Now I'm going to ask you again, is Daniel there?"
"He sure is. You wanna talk to him?"
"That's why I phoned Jack," she bit out sarcastically.
Jack grunted inarticulately, and Janet could hear him saying something to Daniel, his voice muffled. He must have had his hand over the receiver. There was a crash, forcing Janet to pull the phone away from her ear, then the sound of the phone being fumbled. He must have dropped the phone.
"Janet?" Daniel's voice slurred over the line. "I'm sorry … it slipped outta my hand."
"That's ok hon," Janet replied, forcing the happy tone in her voice. "How much have you had to drink Daniel?"
He was silent for a moment, she guessed he must be trying to count how much he'd had. "Ummm … two bottles … and a half," he added for posterity's sake
This time Janet did laugh out loud. He was such a cheap drunk. She tried to stop the giggles but ended up snorting with the effort. It was one thing that always made her chortle, his complete inability to handle alcohol. It was cute.
"What?" he asked her defensively. She could almost picture the offended look on his face, which made her giggle again.
Janet became serious again, she couldn't help it, she had worked herself up too much tonight. "Is everything okay Daniel?" she asked quietly.
"Okay?" he repeated sounding surprised. "Yeah, yeah, yeah … everything's great baby."
Baby? Inwardly she groaned. She was going to have to jab a needle extra hard into Jack's butt for teaching Daniel that particular term of endearment. "It's just … you didn't call Daniel, I was worried that something might have happened to you."
Daniel moaned. "Oh, I'm so sorry baby. It just … it slipped my mind. I've been preoccupied, I needed to talk to Jack…" he trailed off, sounded embarrassed and unhappy.
Why did he need to talk to Jack? Her curiosity was piqued now. What was going on? "Daniel, is everything okay?" she asked, hoping that she was just jumping to all the wrong conclusions. "With us?" She flinched at how needy she sounded. Was I ever like this before?
Daniel made a strangled sound that sounded curiously to Janet like a low, pained, moan. "Oh, Janet," he breathed quietly, his voice suddenly sounding almost completely sober. "Everything is fine, perfect." He paused for a moment. "I love you so much Janet."
Janet melted, she couldn't help it. Even knowing that he was drunk, the honesty in his voice was overwhelming, and imminently reassuring. "I love you too, Daniel," she breathed.
"Come and pick me up Janet," he breathed, a hint of something in his voice.
She couldn't say no, there was something in his voice that made it impossible. Besides, she really did want to see him. "I'll be there in twenty minutes," she breathed, hanging up the phone and quickly racing upstairs to get dressed.
***
Daniel groaned and rolled onto his back, torn from the arms of sleep by the violent churning of his belly. He could feel Janet moving next to him, the subtle movement on the bed enough to send a wave of nausea through him. He opened his eyes to try and dispel the spinning sensation he was experiencing.
It only made things worse. The room twisted like it was being turned on its side, and then quickly flipped back in the opposite direction. Clapping a hand over his mouth he bolted out of the bed with a strangled groan and raced into the bathroom, followed by a sound that he was pretty certain was Janet stifling a giggle.
He barely made it into the bathroom in time, pushing the door closed behind him with his foot and flicking the toilet seat up. Falling to his knees he emptied the contents of his stomach into the bowl, retching violently.
After a few moments the door squeaked open and a hand gently began rubbing his back, soothing him. He settled back on his heels, wiping his mouth and trying to ignore the headache that was beginning to grip his skull. He was never going to drink again.
He heard another stifled giggle behind him. "You're not even feeling remotely sorry for me are you?" he wined.
This time she did laugh out loud, curt and brash. "No, I'm not. You know what happens to you when you drink Daniel. Besides, that's what you get when you keep me up most of the night worrying."
Daniel groaned again, trying to ignore the pervading guilt he felt. He hadn't meant to make her worry about him. He had just been so preoccupied that he hadn't stopped to think. "I'm so sorry Janet."
"I know," she responded, standing up behind him and helping him stand. With an arm wrapped securely around his waist, she guided him back into the bedroom. "And when you're feeling a little better I think we should both sit down and talk."
Daniel glanced down at her; the sudden movements making his brain feel like it was being squeezed in a vice. "Yes we do," he murmured in reply, his voice filled with more meaning than she might have realized.
She helped him into bed, tugging the blankets up to his chin. Leaning over she pressed a kiss to his forehead. "Don't move," she whispered,"I'll go and get you something to drink and something for the headache and nausea."
"Hmm … okay," Daniel murmured, his eyes sliding shut as he tried his hardest not to move as it only made him feel like he was going to be sick again. Yep, he was never going to drink again. At least he was fortunate enough to fall in love with a doctor.
He listened as her footfalls left the bedroom, presumably to go down to the kitchen. He snuggled a little deeper under the covers feeling ice cold all of a sudden. He was getting nervous. He knew he would once he had made his decision, but he wasn't going to back down on it now. He was going to ask Janet to marry him.
He wanted it to be perfect, but he had no idea how he was going to ask. He wasn't a particularly romantic person; it just didn't come naturally to him like it did to people like Jack, people who were so confident and sure of themselves. Other than on the site of an archeological dig or in his lab, he just wasn't that sort of person.
Jack had offered some suggestions to him, but he had dismissed them all, they just weren't his style. He wasn't even sure what his style was. Then they had gotten sidetracked and the topic was forgotten. They had made a lot of progress though; Daniel had inadvertently helped Jack remember some events, most of which Daniel would have preferred him never to remember.
Rolling onto his side, he pulled his knees up to his chest as his stomach cramped with another wave of nausea. He squeezed his eyes closed even harder, willing this all to stop. "This was not how I expected this day to go," he muttered groggily to himself.
"How did you expect it to go then Daniel?" Janet's voice filtered across the room.
"I expected you to squeal that you would, then we'd spend the rest of the afternoon celebrating and making love because Cassie wouldn't be home from school till after four," he murmured sleepily, not realizing until it was already out of his mouth what he had just said.
Damn it! He berated himself, knowing that the residual alcohol in his system had fueled his tongue.
"What would we be celebrating?" he felt Janet's weight perching on the bed next to him.
He wracked his brain, trying to find some way to extricate himself from this situation with some dignity left intact. Nothing came to him, so he opted for the easy way out, pretend to fall asleep. At least then she might just assume he was talking nonsense.
He forced his body to relax, to give the impression he was drifting off to sleep. "Celebrating?" he asked, his voice barely loud enough to hear, the kind of tone that a person half-asleep would use.
Daniel could almost feel her willingness for him to continue, her curiosity naturally piqued. She was almost quivering with anticipation next to him. Did she have any inkling of what he was going on about? He hoped not, and he was not going to give anything else away now.
After what felt like an eternity he heard her sigh softly and stand from the bed, her disappointment obvious. Daniel's heart sank, he hadn't intended on upsetting her. He opened his eyes, reaching out and taking her hand. "Janet," he whispered, pulling her back to the bed.
She let herself be pulled back to the bed, her eyes wide with curiosity as she settled back onto the bed. "What's up Daniel?"
He couldn't believe it was going to happen like this, but the alcohol still in his system had taken what was left of his commonsense and rationality and tossed it aside. Reaching passed her he pulled open the top drawer of his bedside table and fumbled around inside, his fingers finally brushing the small felt box he had tucked in the back of the drawer.
He took a deep breath, the small box fitting perfectly in his palm so Janet couldn't see it and pulling it back under the sheets. He took her hand in his, met eyes that were looking down at him in concern. "I … ah … I've been thinking a lot lately, about where I want my life to go, what I want to change about my life … and what I don't want to change."
"Daniel?" Janet asked uncertainly as he paused, fear crossing her face.
He smiled nervously, his hands shaking. "After Sha're I didn't think I would ever find anyone ever again, I never thought I would fall in love again, but I did. Janet, I never want to let you go," he reached under the sheets, pulling out the box and opening it. Janet's eyes grew, her mouth opened with surprise. "Will you marry me, Janet?"
Her eyes drifted from the ring, to Daniel's face and back again, her mouth opening and closing like she wanted to say something and couldn't articulate the words. Tears began to stream down her cheeks as she nodded her yes.
Daniel grinned, pulling the ring out of the box and sliding it onto her finger. The ring had belonged to his mother, one of the few items from his parents that he had ever received. It seemed fitting now that he gave it to the woman that was going to be his wife.
He sat up, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close to his chest. This was only the beginning, he knew, of the life they were going to share together.
************************
Sam and Jack sat in the small exam room waiting for Janet to arrive for Sam's ultrasound. Sam smiled as she watched Jack pace the room, randomly [investigating] various pieces of equipment. Jack was not a patient waiter, and today was no different. He picked up an accessory from the ultrasound machine, seeming to find it rather interesting.
"Jack, honey, should you be touching that?" Sam asked, amusement lacing her voice.
Jack's head jerked up and he looked all the while like the guilty child with his hand caught in the cookie jar. Sam burst out laughing, causing Jack to do the same. "I'm sorry, Sam. I just hate waiting." He said coming over to her.
"I know you do," Sam said trying not to laugh again.
He sat down in the chair next to her. He put his arm around her and she leaned her head on his shoulder. They sat in silence, just listening to each other breathing softly. Jack was starting to shift anxiously again when Janet walked in.
"Sorry I'm late guys. SG-10 just got back. They all fell down an embankment on the way back to the gate fleeing from Jaffa. I just finished setting and casting three broken legs, four broken arms, ten fractured ribs and a fractured [sternum?]." She explained in a rush of words.
"And a partridge in a pear tree?" Jack asked throwing in his jab with a smile.
"Yeah something like that," Janet chuckled. "Needless to say, they're going to have a lot of fun in the coming weeks."
Janet moved over to set up her equipment in a flurry of motion. "Sam if I could just have you change into this gown and hop up onto the bed, we can get started."
Sam quickly shed her clothes and donned the lovely infirmary gown behind the screen provided. Jack helped her onto the examination bed, as it was getting more difficult for her to do such things of late. Once Sam was settled back against the bed, Janet covered her lower torso with a sheet and lifted her gown above her growing stomach.
Janet applied a thin layer of lubricating gel to Sam's stomach, and pressed the transducer against her skin, moving it along the surface.
"Since you're far enough along now, you're able to have a 3-D ultrasound. In fact you are the first person to get to use this," Janet grinned. "We get all the great toys in the Air Force."
"Sweet!" Jack commented and he and Sam both smiled.
Janet angled the monitor so they could see it better from their position. Suddenly the sensor detected a form and placed it on the screen. A few seconds passed and it was soon replaced by a face.
"Oh wow!" Jack breathed through a suddenly constricted throat.
"Oh Jack look! That's our baby." Sam said through her tears.
Jack leaned over and placed a loving kiss on her lips, telling her without words how much he loved her.
"Do you want to know what it is?" Janet questioned the couple. Jack met Sam's eyes and they turned to Janet, smiling their answer.
"You're going to have...a little girl." Janet grinned at the look on Jack's face.
"A girl! Sam were gonna have a girl." He said in amazement. Sam couldn't speak around the tears of happiness that had formed.
The baby's face turned away from them, bobbing on the screen. More indiscernible images appeared, moving and bouncing across the screen.
"What's that?" Jack asked, his attention fully focused on the screen.
"It may be just a reflection. Let me change angles here," Janet explained as she moved the device to another section of Sam's stomach.
"I may have been wrong guys," Janet looked closer at the screen.
"What? Is it a boy instead," Jack asked, though not in disappointment. He would be happy with either a boy or a girl, son or daughter, his baby would be perfect either way.
"Well..."
"Janet? What's wrong," Sam asked with a degree of panic lacing her voice.
As if the baby could sense the tension, it flip-flopped on the screen. Sam's eyes flew from the screen to her stomach and back again.
"Nothing's wrong, per say," Janet said, a ghost of a smile playing across her lips.
"Well, is it a boy or a girl?" Jack asked as he took Sam's hand reassuringly in his.
"Umm...well. It could be both."
"Huh? Janet what are you talking about?" Jack sat up tensely in his chair.
Janet's finger pointed to a spot on the screen. "You see that? That's a heartbeat." She looked at Sam and Jack for confirmation that they were following along. She turned back to the monitor, moving her finger to another point on the screen.
"And you see that? That's a second heartbeat." She faced Jack and Sam again, as she waited for realization to dawn on them.
"You mean..." Sam stopped short.
"We're gonna have..." Jack drifted off.
"Twins?!" Sam and Jack looked at each other, echoing the other.
"That would be an affirmative," Janet answered them, smiling broadly at the expressions on their faces.
Jack looked over at Sam, stunned beyond belief. The look on her face mirrored his own.
"Twins?! As in ... that means ... more than one! Two! We're gonna have ... twins." Jack couldn't form a coherent sentence for the life of him. All Sam could do was smile a silly grin through the tears rolling down her face. Jack leaned over Sam and embraced her, and then kissed her breathless.
A knock sounded at the door. The interruption didn't even faze the happy couple by the look of the dazed expressions still lingering on their faces. Janet smiled as she opened the door. Her smile increased as she saw who stood behind it. Daniel smiled back at her, silently questioning her with his eyes, wanting to know what was happening. She opened the door wider to allow him to enter. However, she didn't say a word to him, only smiled; sure he would find out soon enough the unexpected, but good news. Daniel just glanced at her strangely, smiling in return.
"Sam, Jack. So how's it going? Ultrasound went well I assume?" He said greeting the soon-to-be parents.
Jack swung his head around to face Daniel, smiling from ear to ear. "Danny-Boy!" Jack cleared his chair and wrapped his arms around Daniel in what had to be the biggest bear hug anyone had ever received from Jack O'Neill.
Daniel stood there, his arms sticking out like a scarecrow, his eyes darting between Janet, Sam and Jack. "It's good to see you, too, Jack. Umm ... Jack," He said through clenched teeth, "you're breaking my ribs here."
Jack released Daniel quickly, apologizing and having the grace to look mildly embarrassed. Daniel just shrugged it off with a smile as he stepped over to Janet and put his arm around her.
"So I'll take that as a "yes" that everything is going well," he said with a light chuckle.
"Better than well," Jack said with one of the hugest grins that Daniel had ever seen. "You're going to be an uncle..."
"Well I knew that Jack," Daniel commented as Jack turned back to Sam. He grasped her hand and turned back to Daniel, smile still in place.
"You're going to be an uncle ... twice over."
Daniel stood there, a blank expression on his face as he processed the new information. Everyone could nearly hear the wheels turning in his head, when Daniel's eyes bulged and he looked and he looked down at Janet then towards Jack and Sam. His mouth was opening and closing but nothing was coming out.
"You mean ... two ... you're gonna have ... two ... babies ... twins?!" Daniel stuttered, his face turning a nice shade of red, or at least Janet thought so. She loved when that happened. He looked so adorable when he tried to comprehend the simplest of information. Jack only nodded happily in response before turning back to his beaming and beautifully pregnant fiancé.
Daniel continued to stand there in what appeared to be shock. Janet smirked as she elbowed him softly in the ribs. She looked up at him in mock consternation. "By your reaction you'd think you were having the babies, not Sam and Jack."
Daniel smiled tenderly before leaning down and placing a gentle kiss on her lips. He pulled back slightly, just enough to look into her fluid brown eyes and whispered. "I've been thinking ... would that be such a bad thing?"
Janet's brow creased momentarily before she grasped the meaning of his words. Her lips curved upward as she pulled his head down for another, longer, life-changing kiss.
***
Sam sat in front of the roaring fire flipping through the books that they had picked up on the way home. After Jack had recovered from his fleeting lapse of shock, he had insisted that they go by the local bookstore and buy every single book on babies, twins, and pregnancy in general. Though they didn't clean out the entire store, they came close. In fact, half of Jack's truck bed was packed with bags and boxes of books. The clerk at the store had to rummage through the stockroom for boxes because they ran out of bags big enough. The thought made Sam laugh. She had never seen Jack so excited as he was that day. In her heart, she knew that their babies were healing him. She knew then and there that Jack was going to be all right.
He may never forget what happened to him when he was imprisoned, but he wasn't going to let it keep him down.
Sam was awakened out of her reverie when Jack sat down beside her on the floor. He handed her a mug of hot chocolate, earning him a smile and a kiss.
"Wow! If I knew that's what hot chocolate got me, I'd give it to ya more often." Jack said grinning, and earning him a playful slap to the arm.
"Hey now!" Jack laughed nonchalantly.
"We have work to do mister," Sam said eyeing him with a mock glare. "After spending all that money on books, we shouldn't waste them, now should we."
"No I guess not." He said as he leaned over her to pull a stack of books to him. He looked at the top book and read the title out loud. "'What To Expect When You're Expecting.' Sam I think this one is more for you." He put the book on the stack she had accumulated then glanced down at the next book. Jack smiled. "Now this is more my style. 'Daddy's Little Fishing Buddy'." Jack looked over at Sam, having achieved making her smile at him. His one major goal in life, keeping his soon-to-be wife happy.
"Jack, you're incorrigible you know."
"I know." He grinned.
Sam discarded the book she had been looking at and went on to another. A book of baby names. She had seen three of those books in the many stacks they had started all over the floor. She began flipping through it randomly when an idea struck her. She smiled hoping Jack would go along with her.
"Jack, honey, could you go get a couple of tablets of paper and some pens." She said, still looking at the book.
Jack glanced over at her briefly before looking back at his own book, clearly caught up in it. "Sure, sweetie, what for?"
"Just an idea. I'll tell you when you come back." Sam said keeping her voice neutral.
Jack got to his feet and stretched his legs and tried to get the kinks out of his back, then made his way over to the desk in the corner. He rifled through the drawers until he found what Sam was wanting. He walked back over to her, handing her the tablets and pens as he sat back down.
"So what's this all about, sweetheart." Jack asked curiously.
Sam looked over at Jack a sweet smile lighting her face. "I was thinking ... since we just found out we're going to have not one, but two babies, we should probably start thinking about names."
Jack took one of the books and tablets from her and grinned. "So do I get to name our boy?"
Sam smiled in turn, but shook her head. "Actually I was thinking that we could both write down girls and boys names, and then we can compare lists to see which ones we like the best."
"Hmm ... okay." Jack agreed opening his book. He stuck the pen between his teeth chewing on the end as he thought.
Sam grinned; glad Jack wanted to be involved in this. She ducked her head and opened her book. She scanned names at random, sometimes unsure whether or not they were really names at all. She sneaked a peak at Jack's paper, but when he noticed her looking he smiled and covered his paper with his hand. She smirked and went back to writing names down.
Jack eventually moved to the sofa claiming his knees were hurting. He still continued to work on his list. Sam was just about finished. As soon as she wrote down the last name she got up and rushed to the bathroom. She now understood why her bladder could hold less and less, what with two babies putting pressure against it.
Sam walked back into the living room fully relieved, and watched Jack, as he was still completely involved with his project. She sat down in his favorite chair and just watched him. The man she loved. The father of her baby ... babies. She was going to have to get used to that. As Jack had put it ... more than one. Sam smiled.
"Are you about done, hon?" She asked Jack.
He glanced up briefly and nodded. He continued on for a few more minutes, when he closed his book and looked at her smiling, pleased with himself.
Sam rose and made her way to sit next to Jack on the sofa. He put his arm around her and presented his list to her. She was amazed; he had found more names than she had. In fact, he had names from every letter of the alphabet. She had really underestimated him. Then she read off his choices aloud, making comments on some of them.
"Alison ... Angel, oh I like that one. Aroha?! Jack what the heck is Aroha." She gave him a look of utter puzzlement.
Jack had a wounded look on his face, but she could she the sparkle in his eyes. "It means 'love' in New Zealand. I thought it was cute ... kinda."
"Oh, okay ...," Sam bowed her head again, and continued reading. "Bethany ... Brittany ... Calista ... Calista?! As in Calista Flockhart!? Jack, no way!" She laughed at the look on his face.
"Well, I uh ... didn't think of that." He mumbled.
Sam chuckled again. "Catrina ... that's cute. Chloe is pretty. Colleen ... Dakota ...? Dakota ... hmm that doesn't sound too bad. Destiny..." Sam looked up into Jack's eyes and he smiled so sweetly.
"I think it's a pretty name ... Destiny ... Destiny O'Neill?" Jack said trying it out on his tongue.
Sam merely smiled back at him, and kept on reading, wanting to know all his choices. "Ellie ... Erin ... Esmeralda ... Jack, have you been watching Disney movies with Teal'c again?"
"Uh ... no." He answered not knowing what she was talking about.
Her laughter filled the air and she went on. "Farrah ... Felicity ... Jack you really do watch too much TV you know."
"Huh ... oh ... uh ... sorry." Jack blushed.
"Gabrielle ... Gianna ... that's interesting. Gracie ... oh Jack I love that name." Sam smiled up at Jack. He didn't respond, except with a smile of his own.
"Holly ... Hope ... that's a beautiful name too. Isabelle ... Jade ...Jewel..." Sam did a perfect imitation of Teal'c on the last one.
"What?!" Jack defended himself. "She's got a great voice..."
Sam continued to look at him, she was having too much fun with this.
"What?!!" Jack said again.
Sam laughed and returned to the list.
"Kailey ... Kendra ... those are nice. Keziah ... okay I don't even wanna go there. Laney ... Laurie ... Lili ... oh how pretty! Mackenzie ... that's a good one. Jack these are really good." She glanced up at Jack.
"Keep reading, sweetheart. They get better."
Sam leaned over and kissed Jack lovingly on the lips. She pulled away before he could do much, because she knew if she didn't they wouldn't get anything done.
"Malorie ... Meghan ... Natalie ... Nicholette ... wow that's a mouthful. Olivia ... Paige ... Quinn ... how nice. Raine ... Regan....oh I like those. Sabrina ... Sidney... Sierra ... Tabitha. Jack these are just wonderful. Trinity ... Valerie ... Whitney ... Zoe."
Sam just sat there in amazement. She couldn't believe how many Jack came up with. So many more than she did. And that was just the girls.
"Sam ... sweetie. You okay?" Jack asked, a little worried.
"Yeah I'm fine." At Jack's look she continued. "Really Jack I am."
"Okay. If you insist. Hey do I get to read your list?" Jack asked anxiously.
Sam handed hers to Jack, blushing slightly. "Okay, but it's not nearly as good as yours."
"Oh Sammy I'm sure it is better." Jack told her reassuringly.
Jack cleared his throat and flicked the paper, showing off, and making her giggle. "All right now. Alexandra ... Avery ... Bailey ...Brianna ... Caitlin ... Charity ... Dawn ... Elizabeth ... Emma ... Evie ... Gracie. Sweet! I like that one ... Hunter ... Jamie ... Josie ... Kelsey ... Lacey ... Lexie ... Lynsey ... Maisie ... Melissa ... Rachel ... that's a cool one. Reanna ... Sarina ... Skye ... Taylor." Jack looked at Sam. She was biting her lip, obviously worried about what he would think about her choices.
"Sam! These are great. I love them all." Jack assured her with a kiss.
"Do you really think so? Now we just have to decide on one." Sam worried her lip again.
Jack chuckled. "You're right, but we really shouldn't rush these things. We have to find just the right one. How about we take a look at the boys' names." Jack suggested.
"Okay. Here's mine." Sam handed the list of the boys' names she had comprised.
Jack attentively began reading them off as before. "Aaron ... Blake ... Braden ... Caleb ... Dalton ... Evan ... Grant ... Gregory ... Ian ... Jacob..." A slight smile lit Jack's face, but he quickly hid it, and read on. "Kyle ... Lance ... Matthew ... Nathan ... Paul ... Riley ... Stuart ... Trent." Jack finished and looked over at Sam. She was hesitant to look at him, shy even. He didn't know why. She picked some great names. But only one would do.
"Here. Look at mine." He held out his paper to her. She took it from her. He knew the moment her eyes absorbed his choice, because her face lit up so beautifully. He would remember her look from that moment on. Sam threw her arms around his neck, hugging him close. She was laughing and crying at the same time. Jack joined in with her happiness, not able to contain his own laughter from erupting.
"So I take it you like what I chose?" Jack pulled back and looked at Sam's face. She was still smiling brightly.
"Jack! You couldn't have chosen anything better. Oh Jack!" Sam buried her face against his neck when he pulled her in for another hug.
"So Jacob it is then."
***************************
Janet lay on her side in bed next to Daniel. She was resting her head on his chest and he was casually running his fingers up and down her back. He was quickly on his way to distracting her again, she thought with a smile. She'd been thinking about some things tonight, and one in particular she wanted to run by him. She was sure he would go along with it, especially considering the developments of the evening.
"Daniel?" She asked hesitantly.
"Hmm?"
"I've got an idea."
"What is it, sweetheart?" Daniel queried looking down at her.
"What would you think of throwing a baby shower for Sam and Jack?"
"I think that's a wonderful idea." Daniel commented, as he kissed her.
"We could have it here and invite everyone from the SGC. Do you think we should wait until after Christmas to have it?" She asked, though she went on quickly. "Probably so since Christmas is in two weeks. Maybe mid-January? That should give people time enough to recover from the Christmas season."
Daniel smiled at her exuberance. He'd never seen Janet so excited before. He could only imagine what she would be like when they had a baby of their own.
Tara: "Oh Daniel, we have so much to organize and plan. I want this to be the best baby shower for Sam and Jack."
Daniel chuckled. "I know you do. But can it wait until morning, Jan? I'm pretty tired. You sure know how to wear a guy out," He teased.
"Well if you're so tired I can leave you here to get your beauty sleep, while I go sleep on the sofa, then." She said poking him in the ribs, giving him a taste of his own medicine.
"Don't you dare," He growled in her ear sensuously as he pulled her closer.
He began kissing his way along her neck and she was responding in kind, when they heard a crash down the hall. They both pulled apart simultaneously.
"What was that?" Janet asked in a now whisper.
"I don't know," Daniel whispered back.
They were both frozen in place staring at the other, their ears straining to hear any other noises. Another crash sounded, this time louder. Daniel jumped out of bed quickly pulling on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. Janet sat in bed clutching the sheet around her body. Her face was a reflection of shock and something else ... fear maybe?
Janet was shaken out of her stupor long enough to react. She leaned down over the edge of the bed and came back up clutching a baseball bat. Daniel looked at her, surprise written on his face.
"I'll explain to you later." Janet said abruptly.
Daniel grabbed the bat out of her hand and rushed to the door and eased it open willing it not to squeak. When he got it open, he poked his head around the doorjamb, looking both ways for plausible danger. Seeing no obvious signs, he edged out of the room slinking along the wall, bat held tightly in both hands. He heard something hitting glass, but not a breaking sound. And it was coming from Cassie's room. His heartbeat increased. He hoped against hope that someone hadn't broken into Cassie's room, but he couldn't squelch thinking the worst.
He now stood in front of her closed door. His hand reached out for the knob of its own accord, like he was trapped in a dream. A bad dream. He eased the door open, not making a sound. He stepped into the still darkened room. He raised the bat above his head with one hand, and went for the light switch with his other.
And he yelled.
**********************
Janet was still sitting up in bed, as though frozen. Sure she was an officer in the USAF, and a doctor ... but she could still be scared out of her mind. The noises had been coming from the vicinity of her daughter's room. That in itself was frightening, but so was the fact that she couldn't make herself move. Daniel had been gone for what seemed like forever, even though she knew it was merely seconds. Not remembering when or how, she found herself standing in her doorway, straining to hear anything, and debating whether to follow after Daniel.
That's when she heard it.
A masculine yell ... and a feminine scream.
Janet clutched the sheet tighter around her as she raced out of her room and down the hall to her daughter's room. She came to a skidding halt in the doorway, scared witless. And then she started laughing. Hysterically.
Daniel was standing barely inside the room, holding the bat above his head in a somewhat threatening manner. Cassie was hanging halfway in her room, her feet hanging outside the window. They both had shocked expressions pasted on their faces, reflecting that they'd each found something they hadn't expected.
"Janet you are not helping the situation." Daniel commented.
His statement lacked the sobering effect he had expected; it only resulted in making her laugh harder. "I'm ... sor...sorry....Daniel...I ... can't help ... it.
Daniel glanced at her behind him, his expression bland, and his face pale and drawn. Cassie still had not moved from her current position.
Janet realized at some point in her maniacal outburst, that she needed to stop and reassess the situation. She stopped laughing albeit not gracefully.
However, it seems that she didn't stop soon enough, as Daniel and Cassie had already achieved arguing with the other.
"What on Earth do you think you were doing? It's 3:00 in the morning, for crying out loud." Daniel raised his voice. It seems that Jack had rubbed off on more than just a few people. Janet would have laughed, if not for the seriousness of the situation.
"I went out." Cassie had climbed entirely through the window by this point.
"Not in the get-up I hope!" Daniel exclaimed, his eyes nearly popping out of his head. And he didn't even have his glasses on.
"What's wrong with it?" Cassie looked down at herself. She was clad in skin-tight leather pants, with calf-high boots over them, and a flashy red halter-top, which showed a bit more than Daniel cared to see.
"What's wrong with it? What's WRONG with it!? You're dressed like a hooker, is what's wrong with it." That little vein in the side of his neck was nearly popping, his nostrils flaring. Janet had never seen Daniel this angry ... or was it upset? "Where did you go anyway to even dress this absurdly?"
"I like it, thank you very much, and so does Mick." Realizing she'd said too much, Cassie clamed up. But not before she got her jab in. "What do you care? You're not my father."
Uh oh! Janet thought.
Daniel's face went a shade of red darker. "By God, if I'm gonna marry your mother, I will be."
Daniel shocked everyone with his declaration, himself included. They had decided to tell Cassie the next morning ... well it was morning now ... that was beside the point now though. Janet just didn't picture it to go this way. She mentally slapped her head and emitted a 'doh' borrowed from Jack O'Neill's vocabulary.
"What?" Cassie couldn't believe what she just heard. She had withdrawn several weeks ago, when she saw what was happening to her mom. Sure she'd displayed all the signs of happiness, but she was told it couldn't last forever. Many of her friends' parents were in similar relationships, some that had gone sour. She didn't want to stand by and watch her mom be hurt. She had heard too much of nasty breakups. Sure Daniel was great, and they both loved him, but could their happiness last forever. She'd already lost one set of parents to death. She didn't want to lose her surrogate mother to heartbreak.
Daniel stood there, suddenly finding the bat very intriguing. He knew his mouth had run away with itself ... again. Luckily for him, Janet stepped in at that point.
"You heard Daniel. We're getting married." She looped her arm around his waist and he held her closer to his side. He still didn't raise his eyes, embarrassment setting in.
Cassie crossed her arms over her chest, her lips pinched into a tight line. She knew she should be happy for them ... but she couldn't dispel a sense of uneasiness. Was Daniel good enough for her mother, or would he hurt her like her first husband had? Though now that Cassie got to thinking back ... she had never seen her mother so happy, or at peace. In fact, though she didn't want to admit it, Cassie had felt safe since Daniel moved in with them. She missed her biological parents so much, and being told she was going to have that stability and love again, was ... well ... great. She tried to remain impassive, but failed as a smile creased her features. She rushed into her mom's arms giving her unspoken blessing.
Daniel was hesitant to hug Cassie at first, after what had happened shortly before. But his mind was put at ease when she went into his arms, her head against his chest. He felt a sudden dampness on his shirt and looked down. She had tears coursing down her cheeks.
"I'm sorry. I promise I won't do it again." Cassie hiccupped around a sob.
Daniel brought his hand up to her hair, running his hand over it comfortingly. He felt Janet put her arms around both of them. Eventually Cassie's sobs subsided enough for her to speak. "So does this mean I get to call you Dad now?" Ducking her head shyly.
"Uh ... " Daniel, for once in his life, was at a loss for a reply. But not for long. "Yeah. I'd like that."
*************************
~One month later~
Sam stood before the mirror just looking at herself. It was getting to where she thought she wouldn't be able to fit into anything soon. If it wasn't for the new outfits that Jack had gotten her for Christmas, she wouldn't have much. She should really go shopping again, she thought smiling.
The dark burgundy button-up top looked good with her skin tone. She really hated how the black stretch pants looked on her, though that was about the only pants she could wear these days. She heard the door open and turned to see Jack walk in. She looked in the mirror once more frowning. Jack noticed and came to stand behind her, wrapping his arms around her.
"What's wrong, baby?"
Sam's frown got deeper. "I look horrible. Nothing fits, and I hate these pants." Luckily enough for Jack, she wasn't on the verge of tears this time. The incident a day before the base Christmas party instigated him into buying Sam a half a wardrobe, so she would have something that would fit. She wasn't fat by any means; in fact Jack loved the way she had filled out, making her body curvier in all the right places.
"Oh I dunno. Those pants look real sexy on ya." He pinched her rear jokingly getting a small squeal out of her. "In fact, I may not want to let the guys see ya in them, they might drool all over the floor. And you know how I hate cleaning up messes."
"Jack!" Sam reprimanded with a broad grin. He knew he could make her smile. He always could.
"Hey I can't help it if my fiancé is hot!"
"Hot and sexy is definitely NOT what I am feeling right now." She said turning her head, though still smiling.
"Well I say you are so you are, okay sweetheart?" Jack lowered his head for a kiss. Sam moaned and turned in his arms. It had been awkward of late, to get intimate, because of Sam's growing form. But Jack didn't let that stop him. If anything it made him want her more.
Grudgingly though, Jack brought the kiss to and end. He knew that if they didn't leave then, they never would. And they would have a lot of people to explain to later.
"Sweetheart, we need to go. Janet will jab me extra hard with a needle next mission if I don't get us there on time." Jack said, as he saw the passion slowly drain from Sam's eyes. But a spark remained, telling him he would pay later for stopping abruptly. Not that he minded any. Uh uh, no way. He smiled deviously
"Jack..." Sam warned, knowing the look in his eyes.
"What ... I didn't say anything." Jack defended himself.
"You didn't have to say anything." Sam smiled in turn.
Jack led her downstairs and bundled her into her coat. If anything January was more frigid than December had been. Sam had lucked out and not been sick all winter, aside from morning sickness, that is. The drive to Janet and Daniel's house was uneventful, and was made in a comfortable silence. Sam managed not to fall asleep this time, as she had started doing on any car trip, however short they may be.
They pulled into the driveway, seeing it was close to filling up already as was the sides of the street. Jack helped Sam out of his truck. They trudged up to the front porch and knocked. They heard laughter and talking behind the door, before it was opened. Daniel welcomed them and shuffled them into the house, taking their coats.
Sam looked around amazed at the wonderful decorations. Janet really did outdo herself. Janet walked out of the family room to welcome Sam. Sam was looking around with amazement at the wonderful decorations. The look on Sam's face was enough thanks for Janet. They hugged then Janet went into the kitchen to retrieve beverages for the guests of honor.
Daniel led Jack and Sam into the family room and a chorus of hellos and well wishes were sent their way. Sam thankfully sat down on the sofa, after Major Louis Ferretti offered her his seat. He moved to the floor not far from her and carried on a conversation with her, while Jack was engaged in conversation with General Hammond on the other side.
"Major, I owe you and the Colonel big time." Sam looked at him surprised.
"Why's that Ferretti?" Sam asked.
"Well if it wasn't for your resignation, Major, I wouldn't have got my transfer back to Cheyenne Mountain."
"Oh. Well glad I could help." Sam laughed in return. "And you can forgo the ‘Major', it's just Doctor now. Or Sam."
"Then it's Louis." Ferretti commented.
"Sure thing, Louis."
Janet came in with their drinks then. As it was a baby shower, and the mother-to-be couldn't enjoy any alcoholic beverages, only lemonade and coffee were being served.
"So are you ready to get this show on the road?" Janet whispered to Sam. Sam smiled her answer.
"All right everyone. It's time to shower the new mommy and daddy-to-be with gifts." Janet proclaimed enthusiastically.
A hush fell over the room as all attention fell on Sam and Jack. Soon enough an excited buzz filled the room as the anticipation grew. The sofa was cleared, leaving the couple sitting there to await their gifts.
Cassie being the youngest person in attendance requested the important job of presenting the gifts to the new parents. Everyone gathered around the room, whether it be sitting or standing, to gain a better view of the couple.
The first gift was placed on Sam's lap. Sam read the card aloud. "Jack and Sam. Congrats on the babies. Good to know the world will be safe with little astrophysicists with bad senses of humor running around. Ferretti." Laughter rang around the room. "Well I know who the astrophysicist is, so I guess that leaves the 'bad sense of humor' to you, honey." Sam directed her comment jokingly to Jack, and more laughter erupted.
She tore into the shiny pink and blue package ... and a huge smile lit her face. She held up the items. Two, tiny, matching camouflage onesies. Laughter went up from the women in the room; the men let out grunts of approval, and the Marines, of course, their common 'Oorahs'.
"Training them awful young, aren't ya Colonel?" Someone in the back of the room asked.
"Heck yeah! Never too young to train 'em." Jack called back, smiling.
"Sweetie, can we at least wait till they're out of diapers?" Sam threw at him good-naturedly.
Sam sent her thank-you's towards Ferretti as she laid his gift aside. Cassie handed more her way. Sam gave a couple to Jack to open, "oohing" and "ahhing" over them as he did so.
The next one, from General Hammond, was a thin, rectangular box covered in silver wrapping with iridescent bows. Careful to not rip the paper, Sam eased the box out of the wrapping. When she'd succeeded she lifted the top off the box and parted the tissue paper. She gasped in wonderment.
"Oh, Sir! These are beautiful." She breathed. She lifted the contents out of the box still inspecting them. Attached to cards, were Wish and Remembrance bracelets for the baby's mother. They were both made of Sterling Silver, but one bracelet had blue crystal beads and the other had pink. Sam was moved to tears as she thanked the General for his thoughtful gifts.
The next gift was from Janet and Daniel. Daniel was nearly on the edge of his seat; Janet had to practically hold him back as both Sam and Jack opened their gift. As soon as the items were revealed, Daniel started rattling off energetically what was enclosed in the neatly boxed newborn sets.
"See one's blue and one's pink. And they both have receiving blankets ... and ... and ... burp pads and flannel bibs. And wash cloths." Daniel stuttered through his description. "Oh and no-scratch mittens." He said with eyes wide open, as though the concept was brilliant.
Barely able to contain her excitement, Cassie handed her gifts, a tallish, square package to Sam and a flat, rectangle box to Jack. Not able to keep the smiles off their faces, they tore off the paper after Cassie gave them the permission to 'rip into them'. She was practically bouncing up and down in anticipation. They got the paper off and smiled as they saw what was pictured on the boxes.
"Open them up and I'll show ya how they work." Cassie said as she knelt down in front of them.
Sam opened her box and pulled out a weighty brown teddy bear. Cassie spoke up again. "It's called a Mommy Bear. If you turn the dial on its back it makes noises that sound like the womb. It's supposed to soothe babies, since it sounds like what it was like when they were inside their mom."
"Cassie this the best gift that the babies will have. Thank you so much sweetie." Sam said as she bestowed a hug on Cassie. The crowd in the room 'aww'd at the display.
In the meantime Jack had taken his gift out of the box and was fiddling with it. "Sweet!"
"Ain't it cool?" Cassie asked as she moved over in front of him. She reached out and turned the knob on the back of the toy. A soft, soothing water sound was emitted.
"Whatcha got there, Colonel?" Siler asked from the back of the room.
"It's uh..." Jack looked down at the box so he could get the name right. "It's the Peaceful Planet Aquarium. And watch yourself Siler. Keep your tools away from it ... I see that spark in your eyes."
The room was running rampant with laughter, having Jack O'Neill with tons of attention paid him. More gifts soon followed. The entire SGC gave Sam and Jack a double sport stroller. They all knew how Sam liked to run and with two babies to keep up with, what better way to exercise than with them.
Daniel stood up then and nodded towards Teal'c. "And last but certainly not least... We had to save the biggest for last since we could barely fit it in the house."
Teal'c, or who they thought was Teal'c, for he was hidden by two VERY large fuzzy teddy bears. In fact they were nearly as tall as Teal'c himself, which was saying a lot, because he usually towered over everyone.
"Teal'c, buddy, you shouldn't have." Jack said barely containing his laughter.
Teal'c's head appeared in between the two bears, which made for quite a humorous picture. Puzzlement lit his face as he lifted his brow. "I had been informed that stuffed bears were an appropriate gift for infants. Is it not customary to give a gift for each child?"
No one in the room dared to laugh at Teal'c as they knew that if they were ever in the ring with him, they would get their butts royally whooped.
"They are quite ... big ... aren't they?" Jack asked looking at Sam with all the seriousness his tone could muster. Sam had a slight grin on her face and her eyes were shining.
"Thanks Teal'c. They're great. It's the perfect gift for the babies." Sam said as she sent a genuine smile his way.
"Well everyone, I guess that's it. You are all welcome to stay and visit. We would all like to thank you for showing up ... and I am sure Sam and Jack are grateful for you coming ..."
Jack stood up then. "Actually there is one more gift. Two to be precise."
Sam glanced up at Jack, confused. Daniel handed him two flat packages, and Jack sat on the edge of the sofa facing Sam. "Sweetheart, I've been trying to think of the best gift to give our babies. It took me quite awhile to decide on this. But I think it is the best choice. I hope you like it." Jack took her hands and turned her palms facing upward and placed the packages in her hands.
She looked at him uncomprehendingly. She unwrapped the packages, pulling a picture frame out of each of them. She lifted the first one up and read it. Her eyes got blurry as she tried to focus on the words she was reading. Not trusting what she just read she lifted the second one. When she had finished reading she looked at Jack with tears in her eyes. "Oh Jack ... I ... I ..."
"Is that a good 'I' or a bad 'I'?" Jack smiled at her gauging her reaction.
"Good. Very good."
"Well are you going to keep us in suspense forever?" Janet asked anxiously.
Sam gave a little giggle as she pulled back from Jack wiping her eyes. She cleared the lump in her throat and began to read from the frames she held. "Star Registry. This certificate states that a star was officially registered in the Universal Star Catalog's database designated by the world renowned Smithsonian Astrophysical Institute in honor of Jacob Daniel O'Neill."
"Ohh"s went up around the room, and a hush soon covered the room. "What does the second one say?" Janet asked in a near whisper.
"This certificate states that a star was officially registered in the Universal Star Catalog's database designated by the world renowned Smithsonian Astrophysical Institute in honor of Rachel Mackenzie O'Neill."
"Ahh"s echoed in the air as finally the names of Sam and Jack's babies were revealed.
*******************
Sam stood from her stool and tried to stretch her back out. It seemed like it constantly ached at the moment, the weight of two babies causing havoc with her spine. She frowned, she missed Jack deeply, he normally seemed to sense when she was uncomfortable and turned up to rub her back just as she needed it. But he was offworld now, on some sort of training mission that just happened to come up two days before the babies were due.
She seemed to be able to sit for ten minutes, and then have to stand for another ten. She felt like a damn yo-yo, up down, up down, waddle down the corridor to the bathroom, and then up-down again in a vicious repeating cycle. She couldn't wait for this to all be over, for the constant discomfort she was currently feeling to end.
Waddling over to her shelves, she stood there for a moment wondering how she was going to get the book she needed down, and why the hell she had put it that high up in the first place. She knew why, of course, because a couple of weeks ago she would have been able to get at it with no trouble standing on her tiptoes, but now she couldn't be bothered exerting that much effort for a stupid book.
So she shuffled back to her seat and flopped back down on it with a frustrated growl. Okay, so she was angry, she couldn't help herself, but the one time she really needed Jack to be around he wasn't. He wasn't supposed to go on this mission at all, or any, they had arranged with the General that he have a month off in and around the time the babies were due. That was until this mission came up and everyone that could do it was either injured or offworld.
Even knowing that it was a routine training mission, that he could be contacted as soon as something happened, it did nothing to make her feel better. She wanted him here, now. It had only been a day, but she missed him. She had a nagging, irrational fear that he was somehow going to miss the birth.
She gasped as she felt a little twinge in her lower belly, but it was gone almost as quick as it came, so she dismissed it as another false contraction. She'd had a false labor less than a week ago and ever since had felt the occasional twinge, that she was at the point that she could almost ignore them completely.
A soft knock on the door startled her, though she knew it shouldn't, someone had been checking up on every half hour. She looked up to find her father standing in the doorway, an enormous grin on his face. She was pleasantly surprised; she hadn't heard the activation alert, then again, now that she was no longer an ‘active' member if an SG team she had begun to tune out the alerts.
"Dad!" she gave him an answering grin and stood from her stool with all the elegance her bloated form could muster.
Jacob had already crossed the room and pulled her into his arms before she was fully standing. "Sammy. You look radiant baby." He said in her ear, squeezing her tightly. He pulled away to look her up and down. "Oh, now I'm really sorry I haven't been around more!"
Sam would have laughed at his last comment if his compliment hadn't flustered her. Jacob had spent every spare moment he had on Earth with them. It equated to a couple of days every few weeks. It seemed he hadn't wanted to miss a single moment of her pregnancy. She had loved the fact that she had been able to spend so much time with him.
Sam flushed, and gave her father a shy grin. "What are you doing back so soon? I thought you had to go on another mission?"
Jacob laughed and let go of her, guiding her back down onto the stool. "And miss my baby girl having her babies? I didn't want to miss this Sammy; I wanted to be here for you and Jack. Where is he anyway?"
Sam's happiness that her father was going to be there for the birth quickly faded away into anger again. "He's off on a training mission. Major Griff was supposed to be doing it, but he was injured during SG-2's last mission, and no one else could do it, except for Jack," she sighed.
Jacob pursed his lips, looking mildly annoyed himself. "He'll be back in time won't he?" he asked sounding concerned.
"Of course he will," Sam scoffed,"And the only reason he agreed to go was that he would be recalled if I went into labor early."
Her father looked relieved. "That's good then, otherwise I would've had to kick his butt."
Sam smiled,"That I would like to see."
Jacob chuckled, his eyes dipping down to her belly. "You really do look wonderful, you know," he told her, a hint of sadness touching his face. "My baby girl is all grown up."
Sam flushed again and glanced down at the table, a frown creasing her brow. She was going to get all emotional again soon, especially if he kept that up.
"I'm so proud of you Sam."
It was too much; no matter how hard she tried she couldn't stop the tears that were now flowing down her cheeks. Nor could she prevent the sobs that shook her shoulders a moment later. This was all too much, everything was too much. She wasn't ready for any of this; she wasn't ready for the fact that in a couple of days her life was going to change completely.
She could hear her fathers chair scraping across the floor as he stood, then felt his arms wrap comfortingly around her shoulders. "What's wrong baby?"
The feel of her father's arms around her calmed her almost instantly. She buried her face in his chest, feeling like she was seven years old again. "I'm scared Dad," she sobbed, admitting to something that had always tried not to. "I don't think I'm ready for this yet. I'm gonna mess this up, I just know it."
Jacob pulled back from her slightly; cupping her chin and tilting her face up to look at him. He had a small smile on his face. "Sammy, you know your mother said exactly the same thing to me too?" he whispered, his voice infinitely comforting. "And look how you and Mark both turned out. Your mother would have been so proud of both of you."
His words only prompted a fresh bout of tears. She wished her mom was here. She buried her face back into his chest, gripping his shirt tightly in her fists. He began to stroke her back slowly, humming gently, soothingly. "I'm worried that Jack's not going to make it back in time- that something's going to go wrong, with him or me and the babies. I just want this to be over!" she wailed.
"Baby," Jacob said softly, stroking her hair. "I think every woman goes through this so close to their due date. Don't worry; everything is going to be fine, you'll see."
Sam looked up at her father, her tears gone. His words made perfect sense, naturally, and she cursed the raging hormones and the irrational outbursts that they caused. She pulled out of the embrace and looked down at her hands feeling embarrassed and foolish.
Jacob took her hands, holding them tightly in his own. "Sam, do you realize how lucky you are?" he asked her softly. "You're engaged to a great guy who would move heaven and earth to make sure you're happy. You're about to have two beautiful and healthy babies. You have great friends that are there for you when you need them. What more do you need?"
She flushed again and looked down at her hands as she tried to dispel the first thought that his question had raised. My fiancé here with me now. But her dad was right, yet again. She was lucky, hell extremely lucky, to have all that in her live. She took several deep breaths to try and steady her erratic breathing. "Thanks, Dad."
His arms snaked around her again and he gave her a brief hug. "You don't need to thank me baby," he responded. He pulled back once again, looking down into her eyes, searching for something. "Is there anything else?"
Sam shook her head no, aware that Jacob would know if she was lying anyway. "No that's about it, Dad."
"Good," he replied standing up; his eyes still full of concern. "Are you sure you're okay?"
Sam smiled. "Yes, Dad."
He stepped forward and brushed a kiss on his forehead. "I'm just going to go and change into some ‘human' clothes," he said with a wry twist of his lips. It was only then that Sam noticed he was still in his Tok'ra get up. "Page me if you have any problems okay?"
Sam smiled warmly, feeling better now that she had gotten her worries off her chest, now that she knew that he father was going to be here for the long haul. "Of course I will."
Brushing another kiss on her cheek, he turned and left her lab. She watched him leave listlessly; missing Jack all the more now that she was alone. She twisted her attention back to the artifact in front of her, trying hard to ignore the second little twinge in her belly. Now it was just becoming a damned nuisance.
Grabbing a couple of tools off the bench she proceeded to attempt to dismantle it. She had no idea what it was, and quite frankly she didn't really care at this point in time, she just needed something that would distract her. It wasn't working very well at all. Oh who am I kidding?
She tossed the tools down, disgusted with herself. By all rights she should be at home resting, as Janet had told her many times. But she couldn't stay away, she was bored at home and at least here she could find something to do. At least here she had company nearby since Jack was off world.
"Is everything okay Samantha Carter?"
Again, she felt herself jump in surprise, though to his credit if Teal'c noticed he didn't let on as she turned to face him. "Oh, Teal'c!" she gasped, trying desperately to recompose herself. "Everything's fine Teal'c."
He inclined his head, seemingly satisfied with her answer, though with Teal'c you could never tell. He stepped into the room, Daniel close on his heels.
"Hey Sam."
Sam nodded. "Daniel." It had only been the fifteenth time today they had said hello to each other.
"Are you ready to join us for the noon meal?" Teal'c asked her. He was watching her like a hawk, she noticed, or more like an overprotective protector.
Her stomach churned nauseatingly at the mention of food. "Why don't you go on without me? I'm not really that hungry."
She could already tell by the look on Daniel's face that he wasn't going to take no for an answer. His arms crossed over his chest and he looked down his nose at her. "You know you have to eat Sam," he said patronizingly.
Sam sighed, knowing that he was right, but still not feeling up to actually eating anything. It would be nice to have a change of scenery though. "Fine, I'll go with you then," she muttered as she stood up. Her stomach cramped violently, and she doubled over from the pain with a small moan.
She heard a shuffling of feet and a strong hand wrapped around her arm. "Are you alright, Samantha Carter?"
The pain was so intense that it almost had her on the verge of tears. She took several deep breaths and the pain faded away. It was then she noticed the wetness between her legs that confirmed everything. It was time.
She straightened up and caught the concerned eyes of both Daniel and Teal'c. Daniel was looking wide-eyed at the now-wet floor under her feet. "I think I need to get down to the infirmary," she replied quietly, her words quickly spurring them into action.
***
Daniel burst into the control room, his heart in his throat with a combination of adrenaline and excitement. Everyone turned to look at his as he clattered his way breathlessly into the room, having run from the Infirmary. The General turned, his eyes wide, and fastened a glare on Daniel. It wasn't really good decorum to run around like a child when there wasn't an emergency.
"Need … to … contact … Jack," he gasped at Sergeant Davis.
Davis glanced up at the General. "Why don't you catch your breath and then tell me what's going on son," the General told him, though he already had an idea what the urgency was.
Daniel didn't bother paying attention to what the General had said. He had to get Jack back now, or they were going to have one angry woman on their hands really soon. "Sam," he breathed. "Her water broke … we have to … get Jack back … NOW."
He knew it wasn't good protocol to boss Hammond around, but right now he didn't care, but if the General was bothered by it he didn't show it. "Do it Sergeant."
Impatiently shifting from foot to foot Daniel waiting as the address to the planet Jack was on was dialed up. Did it always take this damn long? He wondered impatiently. He was desperate to get back and see how Sam was doing.
It felt like an eternity had passed when the wormhole finally engaged and Davis raised the Colonel on the radio. Daniel paced in oblivion until Jack's voice piped over the radio. "What's the problem General?" he asked, sounding irritated.
Daniel jumped forward, butting in before the General had a chance to get the words out. "You gotta come back Jack," he blurted.
There was a moment of silence. "What's wrong?"
The General brushed past Daniel, nudging him out of the way of the microphone. "There's nothing wrong, son, but you do need to get back. Sam's just gone into labor."
There was another long silence, as Jack seemed to absorb the news. "Shut the gate down, I'm coming back now," he said quickly, cutting the transmission.
*************************
Jack was sure he had never moved so quickly in his life. He had managed to get the trainees regrouped and packed in less than ten minutes; it was almost like they had sensed his urgency. Half an hour later they had reached the gate and without sparing a backward glance at the trainees he was off running through the corridors of the SGC.
The moment he had been waiting for the last seven months was finally here. Soon, very soon, he was going to be a father again. It was suddenly scaring the crap out of him. After seven months of preparation and waiting, why did this have to happen to him now? It wasn't second thoughts, definitely not, but a nagging dread that he was going to do something to screw it all up.
He knew it was irrational, but he couldn't help it. After Charlie, he guessed he couldn't blame himself. But Sam needed him to be composed at the moment; he couldn't let his doubts plague him. He vowed that he would never go down the same path he had in the past, where his work was more important than family. He would never do that again.
Nothing was going to come between him and his family. He'd been blessed with this second chance and he wasn't going to blow it. Third chance, he realized, all too aware of how close he had come losing everything at the hands of Bastet. But he hadn't, he'd survived his memory almost completely restored, his injuries healed the scar on his face fading slowly.
He was the luckiest man alive.
He skidded to a halt just inside the doors of the Infirmary, receiving several curious looks as a result. Okay, so he had forgotten to stow his gear in his hurry to get to the Infirmary, but so what? His eyes darted around in room, looking for a familiar face.
"Would you quit following me around?" an angry, and very familiar, female voice yelled in the corridor behind him.
Jack felt a smile tug at his lips as he turned around to find Sam walk slowly past the Infirmary door in a hospital gown, Daniel and Teal'c walking slowly behind her attempting to obscure the gap in the back of her gown from any prying eyes.
Grinning to himself, he quickly pulled off all his gear and dropped it on the Infirmary floor. Stepping back into the corridor, he walked quietly up behind his two friends and tapped them on their shoulders. He held a finger to his lips as they turned, then leaned his head in to them, whispering quietly,"My gear's in the Infirmary, can you move it? I'll take over here."
Daniel nodded eagerly; seemingly keen to be away from Sam's scathing tongue. Teal'c inclined his head and they both moved into the Infirmary. Jack couldn't help his eyes roaming up and down the gap in her gown. Nine months pregnant and still sexy as hell, he smiled to himself. She continued walking up the corridor, oblivious to the changing of the guard, so to speak.
Unable to contain his grin, he reached out and touched her shoulder, and felt her almost bristling under his touch. Her head jerked around angrily. "What?"
Jack stood there watching her silently as her expression changed. Her face, flushed red with irritation, looked at him wide-eyed for a moment, then realization seemed to dawn on her. She threw her arms around him, pulling him tightly into her embrace. He wrapped his arms around her waist, a small laugh rising in his throat. He had missed her so much. "Hello to you to, baby."
Pushing him back, she swung out and punched his shoulder, hard. Her face held a combination of anger and melancholy. "What the hell took you so long?" she cried, smacking him in the shoulder again for posterity.
Jack had to smile; knowing it was just the stress winding her up. "I came as quick as I could, baby," he responded quietly, grabbing her hands and holding them tightly in his. Sara had been like this when she had gone into labor with Charlie; he'd been told then that it was pretty normal for the mother to be to fly off the handle a little. "But I'm here now, and I'm not gonna leave your side without a fight."
Sam flushed and looked away from him. "You leave my side and I'll break your arm. This is all your …" She stopped, her face contorting in agony, her hands squeezing his hard enough to produce a small cracking sound.
Jack ignored the sudden pain as he wrapped his arms around her waist in time to prevent her falling as her knees gave way with the force of the contraction. "Ssh," he said soothingly. "It's okay, Sammy, it'll pass."
Sam sucked in a deep breath and straightened as the contraction stopped. As she released his hand, he quickly stretched it out; relieved to find that it still had movement, that it wasn't broken.
"How about we get you back to the Infirmary?" Jack suggested quietly, seeing that the contraction had taken a bit out of her. He felt her nod her head against his shoulder and turned them, guiding Sam slowly back down the corridor to her private room.
***
Jack quickly donned the scrubs that Janet had provided for him, as he couldn't get to the locker room to change out of his fatigues. He quickly moved back to Sam's side. She was lying in the bed now, truly exhausted after a rather long contraction. They were getting much more painful to her and shorter apart, meaning that the time was near.
He could barely grasp the irony of it all. Several years ago he'd had his entire life and everything he loved ripped from him. And here he was being given it all back. The woman he loved and that loved him back unconditionally. Two new lives that they created out of their love for each other. A brand new start. He should be ecstatic ... but he was scared to death.
His palms were sweating and he felt like he'd caught Sam's morning sickness. He was light-headed and was sure he was sheet white. He willed himself not to faint. That would be so not good. He had to be here for Sam. Her strength was draining quickly. Having a baby was hard work, but having twins was ... well ... harder work.
He brushed his hand across Sam's forehead. Her eyes opened and she focused on him. He could see that the epidural was having its full effect on her now; her eyes were slightly glazed over, though she was still somewhat lucid.
"Jack?" She breathed.
"What is it baby?" Jack leaned in closer.
"I can't do this. I'm so tired. I can't ..."
"Sam don't you dare say that. You are the strongest person I know. If anyone can do this, you can. You have been through much worse than this, and this time around you get something good out of it. You get two beautiful and healthy babies." Jack said running his hand over her hair in a calming gesture.
Fresh tears formed in Sam's eyes. Jack could see her struggling to hold them back. "I love you." She said as the tears slipped down her face.
He wiped them away with the tips of his fingers. "I love you too, sweetheart."
He felt Sam tense beside him. Her eyes snapped shut and she held her breath. Another contraction. Her mouth was clenched in a tight line. A low guttural growl emitted through the slight gap of her lips.
"Breathe baby breathe." Jack urged softly beside her.
Sam reached up and grasped the edge of Jack's shirt, yanking him down to her. "I am breathing!!" She fairly yelled at him.
"I can see that, hon. And you're doing such a good job, too." Jack gasped out, as he was practically being strangled.
Sam released his shirt, sitting nearly upright and grabbed hold of the bed rails to ride out the contraction. Jack smoothed his hand over Sam's hair and down her back in a comforting motion. At that moment Janet walked into the room, and he was glad to say the least.
"How are we doing?" Janet asked taking a peek at the latest on Sam's chart.
Sam slumped back against the bed, breathing hard, sweat beads having formed on her forehead. "How does it look like I am doing?!" Sam snapped.
"Oh, I'd say it shouldn't be much longer." Janet smiled, not at all offended by Sam's outburst, though Jack did smile sheepishly.
Janet put the clipboard back down, and raised the sheet covering the lower half of Sam's body. Jack watched as Janet ducked her head to examine Sam's current status. "Hmm..."
"What is it?" Jack asked curiously.
"Shouldn't be much longer at all. You're eight centimeters dilated, Sam." Janet smiled reassuringly.
"Good because ... HOLY CRAP!!!" Sam jerked upward again grasping the railings again, her face contorted in pain and concentration.
Jack reached over to rub her back again to try to ease her suffering, and was rewarded with a right hook to his chin. The impact knocked him backwards, though not off his feet. He could swear he saw stars floating in front of him.
"This is all your fault." Sam yelled at him her fist still raised.
Jack had a dazed expression on his face and Janet took pity on him, and drew Sam's attention away from him. "Sam are the meds still working?"
Sam swung her head around her face reflecting the pain she was in, her eyes flashing with anger. "They wore off three hours ago. So no they aren't still working."
Janet frowned. "I'm sorry Sam, but I can't give you anymore, without them affecting the babies. It would be too much of a risk."
Sam leaned back against the bed again in defeat. "I know," She whispered, her anger diminishing as quickly as it appeared.
Jack eased his way back over to her, and took her hand into his reassuringly. Janet smiled at the couple, as she got one last idea.
"There is one more option. I could give you the gas..."
Jack's brows nearly reached his hairline. "Doc? Is that such a good idea ... I mean, doesn't Sam have enough to worry about now without adding ... errr ... gas to the equation?"
Heedless of her pain, Sam let a giggle escape. "Not that kind of gas, Jack."
"The local anesthetic type ... you know ... gas mask?" Janet offered forcing down a laugh.
"Well of course. I knew that." Jack mumbled ducking his head and fiddling with Sam's delicate looking fingers.
Sam smiled at him sincerely before turning her attention back to Janet. "No I want to be conscious for this. I want to know when my babies are born."
Janet smiled softly. "Okay Sam. It won't be much longer before you won't even have that option. Are you sure this is how you want to do this?"
"Yes, I'm sure." Sam smiled through the tears slipping down her face.
Sam barely noticed when Janet left the room. Her head was lying on the small cushion behind her. Maybe she should have considered Janet's option. No, she thought. I made the right decision. What was a little discomfort, when in the end the results would be so good? Two little miracles. Two miracles that were her very own. Hers and Jack's. The thought made her pain shrink in comparison. She could handle the pain.
Not realizing she had been crying until Jack was wiping the tears away with his fingers. "Sammy, it'll be over soon. I promise. And then we can start our lives together. All four of us." He choked on the last.
Sam opened her eyes and saw Jack had tears running down his face. She reached up as in a trance and brushed them away lightly with her fingertips.
"I love you." She mouthed, not able to speak.
"I love you too." Jack's lips moved in the same fashion as hers. They were both too overcome with emotion to manage to speak. But they didn't have to. They could see the feelings emanating from the others' eyes. In a blink of an eye their lives flashed before them.
"I love you too." Jack's lips moved in the same fashion as hers. They were both too overcome with emotion to manage to speak. But they didn't have to. They could see the feelings emanating from the others' eyes. In a blink of an eye their lives flashed before them.
The day they met in that briefing room, challenging the other.
I recognize the way you make me feel
Stranded in a frozen cave, in the realms of a frigid desert of ice.
It's hard to think that
You might not be real
Bars separating them. One possessed by a symbiote. The other looking on in pain, struggling to ignore his feelings.
I sense it now, the water's getting deep
I try to wash the pain away from me
One gripped by the devices of the Ancients, losing the ability to function normally. The other helplessly unable to do anything.
'Cause you're everywhere to me
One implanted with a symbiote. The other watching as he is frozen to prevent attachment.
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
One watching distantly as the other kisses her alternate self, a dimension separating them. Pain ripping through her. Sadness engulfing him.
You're everything I know
That makes me believe
Both being tortured by a satanic being. Stripped from the other. Holding onto their sanity.
I'm not alone
One abandoned on a planet. One fighting to get the other home.
I'm not alone
One walking away shouting; angry. Hurt radiating from the other. Regret and pain evident on both faces.
And when I touch your hand
It's then I understand
One inviting the other to go fishing. Hesitation. Hope. Anticipation. Then a beam of light and he is gone.
The beauty that's within
It's now that we begin
A force field separating each other. Panic. Anguish. They each fear for the other's life. One urges the other to leave, the other refuses. They remain together.
You always light my way
I hope there never comes a day
Hundreds of feet below the surface, unaware of whom they really are, unaware of where they belong. Trust in the other their only lifeline.
No matter where I go
I always feel you so
Cold vastness of space. One delirious and losing oxygen in a glider. The other staring out a ship's window, unsure how to save him. So close, yet so far away.
'Cause you're everywhere to me
One lying on an infirmary bed. Lifeless. Machines the only thing keeping her alive. The other sitting by her bedside, powerless to do anything. Dying inside himself.
And when I catch my breath
It's you I breathe
One searching for the other in a cavernous complex; desperation rising to find her in time. The other hoping ... knowing he will come for her.
You're everything I know
That makes me believe
I'm not alone
One blind and dependent. The other guilty and caring. Coming together for the first time in each other's arms. Their love for the other finally expressed fully.
I'm not alone
Sam and Jack held each other's gaze for what seemed an eternity. Clutching onto the other; seeing the memories flash through the other's eyes. Emotions flitting across their faces. Sam's face was wet from tears falling unbidden from her vivid blue eyes. Jack tried to suppress the tears threatening to fall from his own eyes, however failing. Their tears mingled on their joined hands. A sign of their past. A symbol of their strong love.
Sam cringed as another contraction hit her full force. She gasped, sobbing. It was the most painful she'd had. Jack was holding one of her hands as he supported her back with her other. She breathed and gasped. She flung her head back, after the wave had passed. Physically and emotionally drained, she lay staring up at Jack.
"Jack. I want my Dad. I want you both here with me." Sam's face was pale and drawn. But her eyes were aware.
Leaning down, he ran his hand down the side of her face, cupping her cheek. He brought his lips to meet hers. He kissed her as though if he stayed there long enough, he could take away her pain. Or maybe give her his strength. He lifted his head opening his eyes to look at her. Her face was still pale, but she was more peaceful.
"Okay. I'll get him for you. I'll be right back." He said softly.
Before he made his way to the door, he ran the backs of his hands over his eyes, wiping the lingering tears from his face. He smiled.
**************************
Jacob Carter felt like he must have worn massive grooves into the floor of the corridor from pacing up and down for the past several hours. How long had it been now? Ten? Eleven? He had completely lost track of time. Now he was thankful that he had stopped wearing a watch, otherwise the wait would have driven him insane.
Every time he heard Sam cry out the sound tore at his heart. He had to fight back the urge to race into that room, to take his daughters hand and help coach her through the birth. It was out of his hands, though, she wasn't his baby girl any longer and it was her husband-to-be in there in his rightful place, waiting for his children to be born.
He hated waiting. In fact, he was beginning to hate it with a vengeance. He spared a glance at Daniel, who seemed to be sleeping at the moment. Jacob knew he wasn't, if anything the younger man was coiled tighter than he was. Whenever Sam yelled out he was up out of his seat and pacing again in a heartbeat, just like a brother would.
The thought brought a pang of guilt to Jacob's heart. Mark should be here for this; he should be here for his sister. He wondered if anyone had even contacted Mark to tell him. He knew that he should, right this minute, but things still weren't great between them, and he didn't want to move from this spot in case he missed something.
He sighed, forcing himself not to think about it. This was Sam's day, Sam and Jack's, and he wasn't going to ruin it by regretted the mistakes he had made in the past.
A strangled yell yanked his attention back to the door to Sam's room just as it was yanked open. Jack's head appeared around the door, wide-eyed and anxious and a vivid purple bruise blossoming on his cheek. "Jacob! There you are!" he said, his voice strained, but cheerful. "Get in here will ya!"
Jacob glanced down at Daniel, who had twisted in his chair to look up at Jack, as his mind fought to comprehend that his wishes had just been answered. "Are you sure?"
Jack's arm snaked around to doorframe, gripping Jacob's arm firmly. "Of course I am. We both want you in here."
He didn't need to think twice about it. He was in the room before Jack had a chance to step back completely. It was a shock at first, to see his daughter like that, legs up in the stirrups, sweat pouring down her face, her eyes glazed with pain. As horrifying as it looked, it was a good thing. He was going to be a grandfather again.
He made it to her bedside in one large step and gathered her hand in his as he brushed a kiss across her forehead. Her head turned in his direction and she smiled pitifully as she caught his eye. She looked exhausted. "Dad," she panted, still struggled to recover from her last contraction. "I'm glad you're here."
Jacob patted her hand and grinned down at her. "Me too, baby."
Out of the corner of his eye he saw Jack moving back to Sam's other side and pick up a plastic cup. He picked out a piece of ice and gently hold it against Sam's lips. It still amazed Jacob, the amount of tenderness that Jack showed towards Sam.
"How far along is she?"
Jack tore his eyes from Sam. "She's fully dilated. We're in the home stretch now," he replied quietly, placing the cup back on the backside table and brushing Sam's hair from her forehead.
Jacob felt her tense for a moment before the next contraction hit, then the room burst into action as she cried out, squeezing his hand tightly in hers at the same moment. He stifled the small groan growing in his throat. He hadn't realized that Sam was so strong.
"It's okay, Sam," Jack told her soothingly. "Just breathe."
"Would you QUIT telling me to breathe! I know what I HAVE to do Jack!" she snapped loudly, squeezing Jacob's hand even harder.
"Sam," Janet spoke softly, the first thing she had said since Jacob had entered the room. "The baby's head is starting to crown, I need you to push."
"I can't," Sam breathed, her voice twisted with agony as she flopped back down on the bed, the contraction over for the moment.
Her eyes slid shut as she panted, trying to recover herself before the next contraction hit. It wouldn't take long either. Jacob watched her, his chest bursting with pride. She looked haggard and exhausted, yet her face still carried a look of grim determination. That's my Sammy.
Jacob caught Jack's eyes long enough to shoot him a smile. Jack grinned back, showing that Sam's outbursts were not bothering him in the least. He had been through this before, after all, he must have expected the irritability. Jack broke the contact and leaned over Sam, kissing her forehead tenderly.
"You're doing so well, honey," he whispered to her, his lips still brushing the skin of her face. "It's nearly over … you'll be holding our babies in no time." Sam's eyes opened slightly and she smiled tiredly in response, her fingers tightening slightly on Jacob's hand.
Then too soon the moment was over. Her eyes widened and a moan of pain tore from her throat. She sat up, tightening her grip on Jacob's hand again. He ignored it as he leaned closer and echoed Jack's words. "Breathe, Sammy," he told her, the Lamaze training he had had all those years before coming back to him.
"Push Sam," Janet grated, sounding like she was talking through clenched teeth. "Push, you can do it!"
Sam's face scrunched up, her face a mask of agony as she tried her best to comply with Janet's orders. Her gripped tightened on his hand, as she pushed with all her might. He leaned closer to her and could see Jack was doing the same. "Come on Sam, your doing so well," he whispered encouragingly. "Push!"
"The baby's head is out hon … just one more push!" Janet told her.
Out of the corner of his eye he saw Jack dart off to stand behind Janet, excitement shining in his face. Janet glanced back at him, a smile tugging at her lips. "Do you want to do the honors Dad?"
Sam's eyes shot open, Jacob twisted to look at the doctor and his future son-in-law. His mouth was agape with surprise. "What?" Jack asked stupidly. "I … I don't know anything about delivering babies!"
Janet laughed and stood quickly; guiding Jack into her vacated seat as a nurse shoved a pair of latex gloves into his hands. "Don't worry Jack, I'll be right here. All you have to do is support the baby as it comes out."
Jacob watched the scene before him with amazement then he saw the look on Janet's face and the glance she sent in Sam's direction. They had planned this; they had planned for Jack to deliver the babies. He smiled to himself as he turned his attention back to his daughter. He leaned in closer to her. "Come on baby … push … let's give Jack the thrill of his life."
"Okay Sam. We need one more big push." Janet urged hovering over Jack's shoulder.
Sam inhaled deeply and gripped Jacob's hand with sudden strength. She clenched her eyes closed as she pushed her firstborn into the world. She fell back against the pillows in sheer exhaustion, her breath coming in ragged gasps.
A thick silence descended on the room for a brief moment, before a tiny but harsh cry echoed around the room. Jacob felt the small fear clutching at his heart disappear at the sound. "It's Rachel," Jack replied, his voice choked with more emotion than Jacob had ever heard.
************************
Janet wasn't a hundred percent certain, but the more she watched Jack the more she thought that he might be crying. Rachel's wails still filled the room, but he hadn't made a move since. The only movement he seemed to be making was a subtle shaking of his shoulders, the movement making her think that maybe, just maybe, the rough tough Colonel was crying.
She glanced at Sam, to find her sagged back against her pillows, Jacob's arms wrapped protectively around her. Her eyes were focused on Jack though, like she was trying to see through all the obstacles that lay between them to see their new baby.
Janet moved then, touching Jack gently on the shoulder. There were no tears in his eyes as he looked up at her, but a look of profound joy that she had never seen in his face before. He grinned and looked down at his daughter again, her tiny form cradled in arms that suddenly looked massive in comparison.
He seemed to know Janet's intent without her having to utter a word. He raised Rachel up slightly, offering her to Janet, but she quickly shook her head as the nurse handed her the instruments she needed. She could feel Jack's eyes on her as she quickly and expertly clamped and cut the umbilical cord and moved away again.
She tried to fight back the irrational pang of jealousy she felt as she watched Jack stand, clutching Rachel protectively in his arms, gathering the towel tighter around her. He moved around the bedside and perched himself next to Sam, placing the baby gently into her outstretched arms. Tears flowed down her friend's cheeks, her face lit with joy.
Jack leaned his head in close to her and whispered something that made her smile grow and a small chuckle left her throat. Janet couldn't help herself; she could feel her own tears building in her throat, tears of happiness for this couple who had both suffered through so much. She swatted the errant things from her cheeks, not willing to let on to her staff that this was affecting her.
But Sam glanced at her then, and Janet knew that Sam was one of the few people that could read her like a book. Her eyes pleaded at Janet to come over, and she couldn't help herself, her feet moving with her own accord. She couldn't help grinning at the tiny form lying there, now silent, in her mother's arms. What she didn't expect was Sam to hold Rachel up to her, offering her a hold of her baby even before her own father.
Janet glanced quickly at Jacob, feeling guilty that she'd get to hold his granddaughter before him. If he was bothered by it he didn't show it. His grin was nearly as large as the proud parent's, as he nodded to her happily. Carefully, she gathered the precious little life into her arms, careful not to jostle her too much.
No sooner had Sam released Rachel than another contraction struck her. She cried out tiredly, arching her back and sitting forward on the bed again. Handing the baby to the nurse so she could clean her up, Janet sprang into action, resuming the stool that Jack had just vacated to examine the progress.
Janet could hear both Jack and Jacob whispering to her, trying to get Sam to breathe again. Janet's heart went out to her, she was exhausted, and now she had to go through it all again. A quick glance told Janet all she needed to know. Baby Jacob was ready to come into the world.
She stood and caught Jack's eye. His eyes were wide. He looked like the happiest man alive. "Ready to do the honors?" she asked him. His grin widened more than she thought was possible and he practically bounded back to the stool.
Janet stepped back, and once more surveyed the scene before her. She still could not rid herself of the nagging jealousy she felt. Jack was perched on the stool, his head popping up and down as he murmured encouragement to Sam. Jacob had his arms wrapped firmly around her shoulders, almost like he was trying to give his strength to her.
You could almost feel the love in the room. The corniness of the thought made Janet smile, but it was the only way to describe it, and she felt left out. It was silly, she knew that, but she couldn't help herself. The worst thing was she wished it was her on that bed, that it was Daniel's arms wrapped around her, supporting her as she brought their baby into the world.
She groaned inwardly and opened eyes she hadn't realized she had closed. That was corny, and stupid. But the more she watched Sam and Jack in the last couple of months, the more the thought appealed to her. She wanted to have a baby; she wanted to have a baby with Daniel. She knew he wanted to, he had told her several times, in fact, that he wanted to start a family.
Now, she was ready, her decision was firm. She only hoped that Cassie would support this decision with the same fervor that she had when she found out that they were engaged. Janet knew she would support the decision, she would have to, otherwise she might find herself just having to accept it.
"Push Sammy, he's almost out!"
Jack's raised voice drew her out of her musings. She moved closer to Jack, ready to jump in if there was the slightest hint of something wrong. The baby's head was out, and one push was all he needed. She could hear Sam straining, the gently murmur of Jacob's voice as he encouraged her, Janet found herself adding her own voice to his.
Then it was over. Sam gave a great gasping breath and fell back against the pillows, panting heavily, as baby Jacob's cries filled the room. Janet moved as before, quickly clamping and cutting the umbilical cord. She glanced quickly at Jack, and stopped in surprise.
He was crying, his normally unreadable face a swirl of emotions as tears made silent tracks down his face. Janet could not even begin to understand what must be going through his mind, though she was pretty certain the events of the last few months must be pretty predominant in them. He had been to hell and back and he's survived, hell, he'd flourished.
Janet reached out her hand and touched his shoulder, drawing his gaze from his newborn son to herself. His face lit up with elation, his grin so contagious that Janet had to smile back. If she had any doubts that he was still suffering from what Bastet had done to him they were gone now.
"He's beautiful, isn't he?" he whispered, his eyes drifting back down to his son. "Jacob and Rachel, they're both as beautiful as their mother."
Janet smiled warmly, savoring the moment. Jack O'Neill never expressed emotion like he was right now. She squeezed his shoulder gently and took her first good look at Jacob. He was gorgeous; he had all the best attributes of both his parents.
"He's gorgeous Jack," she whispered back. "How about we let mom take a look at her son?"
He nodded and stood, cradling Jacob against his chest and moving slowly, as if afraid that he might break him. He turned back to her, his face serious. "Thank you Janet."
"You don't need to thank me Jack," she responded quietly.
"Yeah I do, you've done so much for me and Sam in the last few months. I don't think we could ever make it up to you … and Daniel."
He had made it to Sam's side, gently handing Jacob to her. Janet watched with amusement as he leant over and pulled a little face at the baby and made a little cooing sound before straightening up and meeting her eyes again. Would Daniel be like this with their babies if they had any?
"You don't need to make anything up to us Jack," she scoffed, craning her neck to look up at him.
"Yeah I do," he grinned.
Before she had a chance to react he reached out and pulled her into his arms, lifting her off the ground in a fierce bear hug. He pressed a kiss to her forehead. She flushed bright red and he put her back down and stepped away from her, leaving her completely flustered.
"How about we go and make an announcement to everyone waiting out there?"
Janet nodded dully, her mind still reeling from Jack's exuberant mood. He took her hand and pulled her after him. A small smile grew on her face as she thought of Daniel acting like this, completely and utterly overjoyed at the life he had helped create coming into the world. Yes, she was definitely ready for her life to move in that direction.
As she watched Daniel's reaction to Jack's joyous news, as she felt herself smothered again in Daniel's embrace she resolved that she would tell him, tonight, that she was ready to take the next, major, step in their relationship.
***
Sam and Jack pulled up in front of their house in Janet's car. They'd decided that it wasn't such a good idea to use Jack's truck, as it wasn't child-safe. And Sam's Volvo was out of the question. So Janet had insisted they use her car until they got a family car of their own.
"Besides," Janet had told them, "I always have wanted to drive Jack's truck." They'd all laughed over that and had agreed to the proffered arrangements.
Jack got out of the car and rushed to the passenger side to help Sam out and proceeded to remove the Rachel and Jacob from the back seat.
He unhooked the safety harnesses and lifted first Rachel's car seat out, handing her to Sam. He then went to work on Jake's. "All right Jake lil' buddy, we're home."
The infant's mouth lifted in what could be taken for a smile, Jack wasn't sure, but his caused his heart to constrict nonetheless. As he shut the car door, he turned and faced his beautiful fiancé ... the mother of his children.
He could barely believe he was living this. Since Rachel and Jacob were born a day ago, he'd been pinching himself; sure he'd wake up from this dream. But it wasn't a dream. This was his life. His and Sam's life.
He had finally managed to do something right in his life, and this time he wasn't going to take anything for granted. He was going to live each day as if it were a precious gift.
Sam cocked her head sideways and said something. He shook himself out of his musings and smiled.
"Something wrong, Jack?" Sam asked a small worried smile on her face.
Jack looked down at Jacob, and to Rachel, and then his gaze shifted to Sam. "No. Actually everything's right."
Sam's smile melted his heart. Her happiness overwhelmed him; flowing over him like a blanket of sunshine. If he ever had any doubts that he was going to fail with his new life, they disappeared. If anyone had told him a year ago what his life would be like now, he would have laughed at them. But now ... now he would grab the person and hug them, and tell them that they should try the happiness thing themselves.
He walked over to Sam and put his free arm around her as they made their way up to the front door. As soon as they were inside, they quietly found their way in the nursery. They carefully lay the twins into the cradle. It had to be an unconscious occurrence, because they weren't old enough yet to turn on their own, but Rachel turned her head towards Jacob, and Jacob turned his towards Rachel; the unseen bond already forming.
Jack brought Sam in front of him, putting his arms around her. He settled his chin onto the top of her head, holding her close. A sigh of utter contentment escaped her lips.
Jack leaned down and whispered into her ear. "What are you thinking about?"
Sam twined her fingers through one of Jack's hands around her waist. She looked up into his face and smiled. "I was just wondering how we got so lucky."
Jack's mouth turned up as he stared into the eyes of the woman he loved. "I don't know. It happened, and I won't question why. I'm just going to enjoy it and live life to the fullest with you and these little guys by my side."
************************
FINIS
Story Notes: Spoilers: Stargate the Movie, COTG, Broca Divide, Solitudes, Singularity, Cold Lazarus, In The Line Of Duty, Point Of View, The Devil You Know, A Hundred Days, Shades Of Grey, Maternal Instinct, Nemesis, Divide & Conquer, Beneath The Surface, Entity, Tangent, Desperate Measures, and possibly a few more that we can't recall.
Archive: Dyiallias II - http://www.dyiallias2.bravepages.com , S/J archive, Jackfic … anywhere else please ask.
Author's Note: Song credits – Inspired by the song "Here With Me" by Michelle Branch, also contains lyrics from the songs "When You Get Used To Somebody" by Tim McGraw and "Everywhere" by Michelle Branch. Much thanks goes out to Hoodat!! Thanks for being our beta! You're the bomb! Hugzzzzzzzz!!!!
Feedback: SWEET!!! We love feedback!! The more we get, the more we write, and everyone's happy!! J
Archive: Dyiallias II - http://www.dyiallias2.bravepages.com , S/J archive, Jackfic … anywhere else please ask.
Author's Note: Song credits – Inspired by the song "Here With Me" by Michelle Branch, also contains lyrics from the songs "When You Get Used To Somebody" by Tim McGraw and "Everywhere" by Michelle Branch. Much thanks goes out to Hoodat!! Thanks for being our beta! You're the bomb! Hugzzzzzzzz!!!!
Feedback: SWEET!!! We love feedback!! The more we get, the more we write, and everyone's happy!! J
End Notes: Hope you enjoyed it. We sure did enjoy writing it!!! We are aware that yahell stripped most of the formatting so if you want to read it in it's entirety with italics and all, it will soon be available at our site (link listed below) and hopefully jackfic.com. Alrighty then...Feedback anyone!? Sweet!!! :)
http://www.dyiallias2.bravepages.com
http://www.dyiallias2.bravepages.com
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]