The Secrets We Keep
Two whole weeks of downtime, was something that never came his way on a regular basis. Normally he'd have a lovely little grey alien, come and beam him up for one reason or another, or some drama queen of a Goa'uld, would come knocking at their door, just asking for some trouble. So once in a while, when there's no trouble or any over dramatic Goa'ulds at the door, he takes his time away at his cabin, relaxing and performing the act of fishing, not catching but working on his casting.
Feeling relax and at one with himself again, after suffering a few black outs, which the Doc had put down to stress and exhaustion. The last missions had put a real strand on him, running round after Daniel just like he used to, only finding he had to do it a lot more now. Jonas hadn't been that bad, some days he could be just annoying, some days he could be all right and others… he could be the strangest person he'd ever met, even weirder than that robot guy that copied them.
Pulling up into his front drive, his house isolated from the street, hidden behind brushes and trees. Rubbing a hand over his face, he sat there for a while, waiting for the pain to past like it did. The past few days (or past two months), he'd been feeling pains in his stomach or about there but of course, him being him, had forgotten to mentioned this to the lovely Doctor of pain. Taking the keys out of the ignition, he reached behind into the back seat, picking up his rucksack from the foot well, while opening his door.
Getting out of his truck, he looked back down his driveway, pushing the door shut. Starting up the steps, leading from the driveway up to the garden path, he locked his truck with the remote over his shoulder. Sometimes the pain could be so bad, it would make him throw up or even passed out from it, which was why he'd been having black outs. Threading his arm through the strap of his rucksack, wedging it onto his shoulder, he fiddled with his keys, climbing the steps onto the front porch, selecting the front door key.
Sliding the key into the lock, with a turn of the key, he pushed open the door; noticing the answering machine screaming at him, crying for him to pay some attention to it. Taking the key from the lock, he let the door swing shut on its own, placing his keys down on the side table next to the answering machine. He pressed the play button when his hand swept over it, dropping his rucksack in the hallway, leading down towards his bedroom.
YOU HAVE SIXTEEN NEW MESSAGES
MESSAGE ONE
Protectively holding a hand over his stomach, he made his way through the dining room into the kitchen, feeling the beginnings of the pain again. It would soon pass, just a pulled muscle or something. Opening the fridge door, he leant onto the door with his elbow, stopping for a moment when he recognised the doctor's voice, echoing through the house from the answering machine.
"Sir, if you're there. I'd advised you to answer the phone now. I've been trying to get in contact with you all morning. Your pager's switched off and so is your cellular. Sir, I really need to speak with you. As soon as you get this message, ring me. At home or at the base ASAP"
Taking a beer out of the fridge, he wondered when that woman, didn't think something was important. If they hadn't been able to reach him, wouldn't that tell them he wasn't there, that he was isolated from a phone and that bleeping thing. The damn thing had messages on it, from god knows how far back, the only time they were looked at, was when Carter had enough of it flashing on his desk, and deleted them all off.
MESSAGE TWO
Twisting the lid off his beer, he threw it onto the side, surprised to hear the General's voice, come booming out of the answering machine's speaker while he was walking back through the dining room. Not often did he leave a non work related message, most of the time it was complaining that there wasn't such and such paperwork on his desk, or he'd forgotten to do this and that. But Hammond couldn't have him on that this time, he'd made sure before he left, that all paperwork and request forms were signed and handed in, and all his other reliabilities had been done too.
"Colonel, please contact Doctor Fraiser as soon as possible. She has to talk to you about something she's found, while she was going over your results, from her tests and other things. And Jack, don't lay it off like you do, it's really important"
Standing in front of the answering machine, he took a sip from his beer, frowning at the stupid machine, waiting for the next message to play. Putting his beer down on the side table, he leaned down onto it, rubbing a hand over his stomach. It wouldn't matter anyway, rubbing didn't help but there wasn't anything else he could do. Painkillers only seemed to make it worse and he always hated the taste of the damn things. Sleep often cured the pain, taking his mind off the stabbing sensation.
MESSAGE THREE
A more concerned Doc's voice came over the speaker again, urging him to come to the base or to her house. Rolling his eyes at the messages, he stopped them, wiping them from the memory of the machine, picking up his beer and his bag. Swigging some of his beer, traipsing down the hallway to his bedroom, he tried to think what could be so important, for them to be sounding that concerned. Well if it was something life threatening, they would've sent someone to pick him up, or even sit outside his house till he came back.
Opening his bedroom door, finding it just to be the way he'd left it, the morning he left to go to his cabin. Clothes draped over the chair in the corner and lying in the front of the chest of draws. The bed unmade on one side, signs of his single life and non existent sex life with the lovely blonde, who spends more of her time in his head than she does anywhere else.
The room just shouted out, it was untouched by a woman, not even Sara had been in this bedroom. Carter had made a fleeting entrance once, running into his bedroom before running back out, letting Daniel deal with the drunken slob of a Colonel. She'd been so embarrassed about it, finding him half dress, half undress, drape over the side of the bed, not being to shy about his man hood. From what he remembered of that morning, her face had been priceless, turning from a very annoyed Major to very shy and embarrassed Sam.
Smiling at the change her face had done in his mind's eye, he dropped his rucksack at the end of the bed, pulling his arms out of the sleeves of his coat. Throwing it to the chair in the corner, he scrunched his eyebrows together at the pain, making itself more known to him again, screwing up his insides with fire and barbwire. It wasn't so bad at the start; just the odd tingling sensation and then it gradually became worse over the weeks.
Sinking down onto the edge of the bed, he held his head in his hand, recovering from the stabbing pain in his stomach. The waiting got to him, always having to stop and rest, luckily it wasn't so bad when he was off world. It may be the tightness that he had his vest, but something kept the pain at bay or he just didn't noticed it, his mind playing on other things. Sometimes if he thought really hard about her, the pain didn't seemed so bad but then his heart would start, reminding him how much pain it caused, to think about those feelings.
Tugging his t-shirt up and over his head, letting it fall from his hands to the floor, not really caring about it with his heart and stomach, giving him hell at the moment. He'd rather deal with his heartache than his stomachache, at least with his heartache he could cure that, by going and sitting in her lab for a while. Sitting in her lab, often helped with his stabbing in his stomach too, taking his attention away from it, when she was hitting her ideas off him or they were bantering across worktop, eating up the sight of her smile.
It amazed him how just her presence, was enough to comfort him or even settled him. It was an often occurrence in long boring briefings or meetings, for him to look across at her and find it was all worth it. The boredom of an hour or two meeting, allowing him time to verify her kind face with the picture he'd in his head.
Unfastening his belt, then the button and zip of his jeans, he pushed them off while he sat on the edge of the bed, making a puddle down at his feet. Kicking them away, he lay down along the bed, stretching to his full height, slipping his feet in under the duvet. Reaching across for the edge of the duvet, he paused when it stabbed him hard in the stomach again. A real knife had stabbed him before, a real bullet had shot him, but they're nothing to how the pain felt in his stomach.
Grabbing the edge the duvet cover, he pulled it over in one movement, rolling onto his right side, facing the doorway. Sleeping on his right side, kept the pain at bay when he slept, allowing him to sleep through the whole night. Dreaming dreams that also kept the pain away, dreaming of her in his arms, loving her the way he'd been dieing to love her, for the past three years or so.
Closing his eyes, he clutched his pillow close to his head with his left arm. Holding it closed to him like he did when he'd found Charlie, his life seeping away from him with every breath, while he lay there on the floor. Crying out to him with the blood washing over the wooden floor, soaking into the grains in the wood and the bed cloths, where he sat crying and screaming.
Opening his eyes, he pushed the memory under his bed, down into the dark depths. Pulling the duvet closure with his right arm, he rubbed his nose with the corner of the duvet, and closed his eyes back up. Allowing the soothing dreams of her to come, to take the heartache and his stomachache away for the night, only showing him a glimpse of what they'd have. Sighing, he snuggled down further, taking himself and her to his cabin, far away from the world they work in, just to be themselves until he woke up.
**************************************************************
Driving up the long widening road to the base, always gave him time to think in the mornings, imagining what things could be in stored for him today. What wondrous things Carter would create in her lab, or what they'll find when they step through the gate tomorrow. Whether or not tomorrow will be his last chance at living, the last time he'll see her beautiful face, lighting up his day with that smile of hers. In his opinion, they could end all suffering with her smile or even her laughter.
Waving his ID to the guard on duty, who'd already put the bar up, when he saw him coming up the road. Coasting passed all the guards, driving on up into the dark tunnel, he drove the three miles into it, lazily concentrating on the road while he took his sunglasses off. He liked the darkness of the tunnel, only lit by the dull lights, lining along the top of the tunnel and down the side of the tunnel, on either side. The darkness hid him away from the world, letting him be whoever he wanted to be, he could be the only man on earth for all he cared in the darkness.
Smiling at the idea, he slowed down coming up to second checkpoint, holding his ID up to the guard, watching him lift the barrier, waving him on in. Giving the man a mock salute, he droved on through, manoeuvring the parked aisles of cars. Approaching his unofficial spot, he found one of Janet's nurses stood there waiting, leaning up the wall behind her. He'd a feeling this had something to do with the sixteen messages, from last night, and the two unanswered phone calls this morning. It wasn't his fault he didn't answer the damn phone. First call, he'd been having a shower and was not getting out of the warm spray for anything, not even if Carter had been knocking at the door. Second call, he'd been heading out of the door, letting the machine get it instead of unlocking the door.
Parking up in his spot, he took his keys out the ignition, sliding out of his seat when he opened the door, keeping a watchful eye over her. She seemed nervous about something, her left arm clung round her chest, her knuckles white where she was holding onto her uniform, biting the nails on her right hand, looking round the car park for any other signs of life. Normally he wouldn't get that response, unless he'd used his ordering voice, which wasn't often or it just didn't affect Carter, the way it did everyone else.
Scratching the back of his neck, he held a hand over his stomach, feeling the signs that the pain, was going to kick in soon. Pushing the door shut, he shoved his keys into his pocket, digging his hand in along side them. Walking the few feet that separated them, he went to walk to the elevator, but she placed her hand on his forearm.
"Sir, Doctor Fraiser sent me to tell you, that you've got to report to the infirmary immediately. And that I'm to escort you straight there, sir"
To say he was surprise would be a lie; the Doctor of agony would always find something to pin on him. Nodding his head to her, he swept his hand through the air for her to lead, trying his best to hide the pain in his stomach, which today was starting to move to the right slightly. Following behind her, he entered the awaiting lift, moving to the back of the elevator while she pressed the appropriate button, leaning up the side of the elevator.
She must be one of the Doc's new nurses, fresh out of the academy with no idea, of what they're letting themselves into by working here. When he went on the first mission, he certainly didn't know what he'd let himself in for, so if she does then it'll be a miracle. She looks younger than the other nurses that worked in the infirmary, a little more naïve than the others, but then they'd been through alien viruses, alien occupation with weird light things on their chests, and the worse of them all, they've put up with his tantrums over the years.
The elevator doors opened, letting the lighting from the corridor, dimly light the doorway formed by the doors, receding back out of the way. The nurse quickly escaped out into the corridor, looking to him to follow her, her hands folded over her chest, stopping herself from ruining her nails further. Closing his eyes for a moment, he bowed his head, pushing himself away from the back wall of the elevator. The knife stuck into his stomach, kicked him into motion.
Looking up at the nurse, he made the corner of his lips turn up into a smile, his hand already held on top of the wound from the knife. Crossing over to the guard, he caught a glimpse of the nurse, pressing the call button on the next elevator, her eyes full of concern while she watched him. Picking up the pen from the table, he glanced at her over his shoulder, finding her watching the numbers tick them selves off, one by one. Signing his name in, he smiled at her signature, five places above his own.
The pain subsided some when he looked at her name, knowing that she'd at one point that morning, been holding that very pen and clipboard, signing in her own name. Things like that always comforted him, knowing she was somewhere close, just around the next corner or behind some door. Even standing in her lab, made him more relax, able to smell her perfume or whatever it is she uses, to smell as good as she does. Sometimes he could just eat her, she smelt that good to him.
Placing the clipboard and pen, back down on the table, he looked to the young nurse when she called his name, alerting him to the awaiting elevator. Rubbing his hand over the subsiding pain, he entered the elevator before her, grimacing at the pain to the wall in front of him. The doors closed while she pressed the infirmary level button, taking him to the torture below, in the dark bowls of the SGC.
Running a hand through his hair, he looked up when the doors opened, the nurse already off down the corridor to the infirmary. Placing his hands on his lower back behind his coat, he made his way out of the elevator, following behind in the nurse's trail. Turning the corner, the pain in his stomach, disappeared when she came into sight, coming round the other corner, talking with Daniel.
"Jim, help me out here. Tell Sam that I get the device first, so I can translate the glyphs on it, before she takes it apart" Daniel said, pointing from him to Carter and then placed his hands on his hips.
Rolling his eyes at Daniel's mistake, noticing behind them the nurse was waiting for him, her hands on her hips, doing a pretty good impression of Doc, when she was about stick a needle in his butt. Shuddering at the thought, he turned his gaze onto a better image, finding her stood there, glaring at Daniel. Remembering what been asked of him, he smiled at them both, bowing his head slightly while moving passed them, stopping with his back to the nurse, physically blocking out the image of her and needles
"Daniel, it's Jack. And no, Carter will have the thingy first and then you can have it. Or even better, take pictures of the… your thing and ya can both get to work"
They looked at each other, pointing their fingers at one another while starting to walk away from him, chatting about the device in a more cooperative manner. Glancing over his shoulder, he found the nurse frowning at him, but there was still the look of concern in her eyes. It seemed to be pity, a look he hadn't seen since that whole computer thing, took over Carter's body.
Chasing Daniel and Carter down the corridor a little; he pulled Carter off to the side, shoving his hands into his pockets, stopping himself from touching her further. His hands could sometimes get a mind of there own, example being when Nirriti, messed with her whole chemistry and he's touched her as much as he could, committing it all to memory. Carter's eyes were wide with surprise, looking to Daniel with a wry smile, turning back to look at him, she crossed her arms in front of her.
"Carter, we haven't got any physicals have we?" She shook her head. "I haven't got any funny medical thingies, have I?" She shook her head again, glancing over his shoulder at the nurse.
Backing up away from her, he stopped in the middle of he corridor, half turned to face the nurse and to face her. Playing with his keys in his pocket, he took a step back over to her, rubbing the corner of his eye.
"Ya wanna get some breakfast later? Say thirty minutes?" He said, looking at his watch briefly.
She nodded her head at him, unfolding her arms to clasp them behind her back, backing up to stand by Daniel. Nodding his head at her, he backed up away from her, sighting the corner of the corridor out of the corner of his eye, he turned and followed the nurse again. Before he completely disappeared out of sight, he glanced back at her; she was frowning, watching him over her shoulder, while she walked away, pretending to be listening to Daniel.
**************************************************************
They'd locked him in Doc's office, preventing him from escaping, making him late for breakfast with Carter, who was probably sat in the commissary, all by herself at that very moment in time. Resting his head in his hand, leaning on the arm of the chair, he noticed her stethoscope sat on the desk, draping over some paper she'd left there. She never let him played with it, said it was equipment he'd just end up breaking, like all the other stuff she'd heard about and seen. How was it his fault, if things crumbled to pieces in his hands, or snapped off, leaving the thing inoperable?
Leaning forward in his chair, lifting the back legs up slightly, he picked up the holy stethoscope, sitting back into his chair, putting the back legs back down on the floor. However this thing work, he had no idea, all he knew was you put the rubber plastic bits in your ears and the cold metal thing on your chest or your back. Examining the precious stethoscope, he placed the rubber plastic bits in his ears, glancing over his shoulder, making sure the wicked witch from the east wasn't there.
Unbuttoning his shirt buttons, he slid the cold metal piece under his t-shirt onto his chest, taking in a sharp breath, when he found out how cold it was. Listening to the beat of his heart, he smile at how cool it was, moving the cold disc over his chest, seeing if there's anything else, he could hear. Moving towards his stomach, he could hear something going on in his stomach, when he heard the door unlocking behind him.
Pulling the stethoscope out of his ears, he dropped it onto the desk quickly, turning in his chair, in time to watch the Doc come in. She was smiling at first but then she saw him, her smile gradually faded, the look the nurse been giving him replaced it, concern evident in her eyes, a slight hint of pity. Pushing the files she held, firmly under her arm, she closed the door behind her, quickly making her way round her desk, sitting down in her seat before she said anything or even made eye contact with him.
"I've been trying to get hold of you, for the past two weeks, Colonel" She said, placing the files she held, into her In-tray, taking out a single file from her desk draw, opening it out onto the desk.
His shoulders rose at her, giving her a pitiful shrug as an excuse, slouching down into his chair, showing that he really didn't want to be there. Threading his fingers into his hair, he watched her picked up some papers, looking from him to whatever, was written on them. She seemed a little on edge, like something was playing on her mind, distracting her in some way. Her body language was all off.
Working in Special Ops, taught you to watch people, assess them for weaknesses and strengthens. But all he could see from her was all doctor, normally there would be a trace of Janet in there, the side of her that made a joke or appreciated a comment he made. It was if she was distant, leaving the Janet persona outside the door, remaining very professional with him.
"Sir, when I was looking over your X-rays and results, from the tests that I performed, I found something quite alarming. Which made me look back over your other tests that I'd done over the last two months. Sir, have you been experiencing pain in your stomach?" She said, getting out of her chair, coming round to sit, on the edge of the desk in front of him, keeping her eyes firmly on the pieces of paper.
Leaning forward in his chair, he became alarmed at her words, wondering if it was just only a pulled muscle or something worse. He'd had injures like this before, but they all felt the same to him now; except this one was more painful, made him do things he hated doing. When he was a kid, he hated it when his mother was pregnant, hearing her being sick in the morning, the sound repulsed him, made the little hairs on his arms, stand on ends.
Scrunching up his eyes, he nodded his head at her; avoiding the disappointed look she was giving him. Covering his face with his hands, he leaned onto his knees with his elbows, bracing himself encase it was bad news. Bad news like when the doctor had walked down that long germ free corridor, to him and Sara, in his operating gown, flowing freely behind him, his eyes cast downwards to the floor with the sunlight from the windows, playing over his un-expressionless face. Telling him news that would've killed him on the spot, instead just comatose him, allowing him to feel no pain when Sara was hitting him, saying it was his fault.
"Sir, I really don't know how to tell you. I'm not really sure, because there's some more tests I have to run, to make sure it's what I think it is" She took a deep breath, calming her nerves and giving her time to think. "Sir, on your X-rays. There's a dark shadow in the area near your stomach, or more precise where your spleen is. I had the blood tests ran six times to make sure, but they all came back the same, sir. Erm… I'm sorry sir, but you… have cancer in your spleen, it's very rare"
All he could do was sit and look at the floor, the news hitting him like a tonne of bricks, knocking him back into prehistoric times, taking his used of language away with it. How exactly should someone respond to that? 'Oh hey doc! Great news! I'm ecstatic by your finding! What the hell am I suppose to do about it?!' Running a hand through his hair, he sat back in his chair, picking some point in the room to look at, biting the end of his thumb.
"Sir, from my results so far, I'd say it was just in the first stages. If we were to start chemotherapy now, it may help save the spleen. But to be sure, I'd like to remove the spleen, and do chemotherapy on the surrounding area. We'd have to do some tests at the academy hospital, working out the extent of the cancer to be sure" She said, forcing a smile to form, placing a comforting hand on his knee.
"Who else knows?" He said, resting his head into his hand, leaning on the arm of the chair, looking her right in the eye, their contact never wavering.
She was took back by his question, sitting up straight, looking about the room for a moment, placing the papers on her desk behind her. "Erm…my staff, General Hammond and myself"
Getting out of his chair, he pulled his coat close around him, moving to stand behind his chair. "That's the way, I want it to remain"
The doctor stood up, her hands placed on her hips, splitting up her lab coat, her face showing she was shock and worried. "Not even the rest of your team, sir? They've a right to know, sir. They're your friends"
He shook his head at her, moving back round the chair, slouching slightly so he didn't over towered her. "I don't want them to know. I may tell Teal'c but that's it. I don't want any of them knowing. Especially Carter" He started for the door, his hand resting on top of the handle. "I don't want her to go through what she went through with her dad"
With a sigh, she nodded her head; her hands digging into the depths of her pockets, watching him open the door and shut it behind him. There was a faint call to him, when he closed the door, but he ignored it. Looking down at the source of his pain, cursing at it under his breath. Wiping at his eyes with the heels of his hands, he made his way out of the infirmary, noting the pitiful looks and concerned looks, shot his way while he walked passed some of the nurses.
**************************************************************
Drowning his sorrows with himself, nursing the bottle of beer he brought over an hour ago, swirling the contents round inside the bottle. All day he'd been sat in his office, ignoring the phone calls, the knocks on the door and the calls over the intercom. The Doc got fed up of calling him at one point, came into his office, explaining the situation to him in more detail. Telling him about the appointment, she'd set up at the end of the week for him and that she was taking him off active duty. The last thing on his mind was some stupid appointment, the only thing that played on his mind, was what he was going to do while he wasn't going through the gate, and how he was going to keep this away from her.
He remembered when he'd found her in the hotel bar, sitting on one of the bar stools, pulling and ripping at the napkin, trapped under her drink. It took her about ten minutes before she broke down, spilling everything about her mother and how she died, and then how her father was being taken away from her by cancer. Sat next to her at the bar, he'd sworn to himself that he wouldn't see her like that again. There was nothing that would bring him, to cause her pain like that. She didn't deserved to have her mother taken away from her, she didn't deserved to have an asshole of fiancé that Jonas had been, and she didn't deserved to nearly lose her father like that.
Sipping at his beer, he held his head in his hand, knowing that sooner or later, they'd be coming through that door, all jolly and happy about the day they'd had. The day spent in his office, he hadn't seen any of them, apart from when he'd seen Carter and Daniel in the corridor, before he'd had his wonderful news. How the hell could he get cancer? What did he do, to deserve this?
The pain flared up in his stomach, making him scrunched up, clutching an arm round his stomach, resting his head on top of his bottle of beer, using it to support his empty cavern of knowledge. Someone placed their hand on his back, patted it friendly before letting their hand slid down his back, coming to rest midway down his back.
"Sir, would you like another drink? My rou… You okay?" She said, leaning onto the bar, trying to look him in the face.
Sitting up straight, he forced the best smile that he could, rubbing the side of his face. Shaking his head at her, he sipped at his beer again, while he watched Teal'c take the seat next to him, wearing the hat he'd gotten him for Christmas. She seemed to stare at him for a while, trying to work out for herself, what exactly was going on with him. For some reason, she could always tell when something was bothering him, probably over the years; she'd learnt to read him like he could read her.
She was taken away from him, when the barman asked for her order, cleaning some glass with a tea towel before placing it on the shelf above them, stuffing some of the tea towel into his back pocket. Mike, the barman, knew them all well, coming to drink there regularly together that sort of happens. If one of them were there, the others wouldn't be far behind.
"Hey Jack. Wanna play some pool?" Daniel said from behind him, letting him know that he was there.
Looking over his shoulder, he looked Daniel up and down for a moment. Shaking his head, he turned back to the bar, holding his head up with hand leaning onto the bar. He wasn't in the mood to do anything, the only thing he wanted to do, was just to sit there and watch her. She was playing with a napkin, folding it up while Mike put her order on the bar. One ginger ale for the big guy, a beer for the returned geek and a diet coke for her.
"Daniel, go set it up and I'll bring our drinks over in a minute" She said, without even looking at Daniel, handing Teal'c his drink, straight across the front of him.
With one more look at him, she took a sip from her drink, going over to join Daniel at the pool table. Rubbing the heel of his hand into his eye, he cast his gaze towards Teal'c, finding the stoic Jaffa to be watching him. Turning more on his stool to face him, he lay his hand over the back of Teal'c's chair, dividing his gaze between Teal'c and the blonde, bent over the pool table taking her first shot.
"O'Neill, you seem unwell" His head snapped to Teal'c in an instant, surprised by his statement.
Shifting his chair closure to Teal'c, he made sure they're alone, looking around them before leaning slightly towards him. "Teal'c, I'm going to tell you something that I want you, to keep to ya self, okay?" Teal'c nodded his head, checking round them as well. "Doc told me today that I have cancer. Ya know what cancer is, don't you?" The once expressionless face had a slight pain expression to it, while he nodded his head. "She's taking me on Saturday, to get some more tests done and do her thing. But I want you to promise me, you won't say anything to Daniel and certainly not Carter"
"Are you sure, O'Neill?"
"I'm sure, Teal'c. Just promised me, okay?" He said, placing his hand the big guys shoulder.
"I promise you, O'Neill. On my honour as a warrior, I will not tell anyone of your predicament"
Nodding his head to the older man, he turned back to face the bar, stunned by Daniel, slamming his hands down onto the bar. "God, she can play fast. I didn't even get a chance on the table. Oh… did I interrupt something?"
Gulping down the rest of his warm beer, he shook his head, pushing his stool out from underneath him. He thought for a moment, Daniel heard their whole conversation and was about to tell Carter about it. If Daniel so much as utter a word about it to Carter, he'd had killed him on the spot, for telling her something that would hurt her more than the pain, his stomach was causing him.
Placing the empty bottle on the bar, he picked up his coat from the back of the stool, pulling it on while heading towards the exit of the bar. "I'm going to head on home, I'm really tired. I'll see ya's when I see ya's"
There was a farewell from Teal'c and a bye from Daniel, following him out of the door, while he dug in his pocket for his keys. It felt like the time he was setting himself up for that secret mission, keeping himself to himself, avoided spending time with them. He'd hated it then, always wanting to tell them, but couldn't because he didn't know whether it was one of them. Although he knew in his heart, it couldn't be one of them; his military side kept telling him it was possible. No matter what anyone could've said, he knew for certain that Carter hadn't anything to do with it, which was round about the time he started developing unprofessional feelings towards her again.
They'd started round the whole virus thing, when they'd been changed back into prehistoric man, or woman in her case, but he'd put it down to the virus. Then they'd a risen again, when they were stuck in the Antarctica, he felt so proud of her, using all her might to try and get him home, someone cared enough about him, to try and save him.
He was literally pulled from his thoughts, being pulled round by his arm, coming face to face with her. "Colonel, are you okay?"
His eyebrows shot up at her, the source of his thoughts standing before him. "I'm fine, Carter. Really, I'm okay. Go back inside and enjoy yourself. Empty Daniel's bank account"
She smiled at that, slowly letting go of his arm, slipping down the material of his coat, coming to rest on her hip. "You sure?"
Nodding his head at her, he started backing up towards his truck, knowing it only had to be a few feet away. Running a hand through her hair, she turned slightly away from him, taking a few steps sideways before nodding her head, turning her back fully to him, glancing over her shoulder for a second. Pulling his keys out of his pocket, he turned with a sigh, clutching his arms round his stomach, feeling the pain starting to kick in. Checking over his shoulder, he saw her opened the door and slip inside, closing the door behind her.
**************************************************************
Saturday Morning
Turning down the street, where the Fraiser residence presided, he slowed down his speed, pulling up behind the silver Volvo, putting his truck into park before tooting his horn. Leaning back into his seat, he held a protective hand over his stomach, still unable to get rid of the taste of this morning sickness. Reaching across to the glove compartment, he opened it up, taking the pack of gum out, noticing movement in the front windows, heading towards the front door.
Ripping the small tag from around the packet, he heard the front door open; distant voices coming closure to his position. One of the voices he was dreading, taking him to her favourite place, where there were more things to torture him with. The other was expected, it being a Saturday morning, her date with Cassie for chess. Pulling out one of the sticks of gum, he dropped the pack into the side pocket of his door, looking towards the house to see the Janet and Carter, talking about him.
"Why's he taking you to the hospital? What's wrong? There's something wrong isn't there? Janet, you've got to tell me?" She said, trying to block the Doc's path, finding the Doc was more eluding than she'd estimated.
Somehow the Janet managed to get to the passenger door, opening the door wide opened, throwing her handbag in onto the seat. Peeling away the wrapper from the stick of gum, he made himself gaze round the neighbourhood, trying not to look at her. She was doing that whole thing; 'I'm hurting because I'm being kept in the dark', her hands on her hips.
"Sam, the Colonel's just taking me in his truck because…" She started waving her hands around, trying to think of something as an explanation.
Taking it as his cue to 'but' in, he leaned across onto other seat, popping the stick of gum into his mouth. "I'm visiting a friend of mine, I thought it'd be easier if I took the Doc with me. Nothing to worry about, Carter"
Pushing himself up from the seat, he put the truck into gear, hearing Cassie calling Carter back into the house. Janet slid into her seat, closing the door behind her, pulling on her seat belt while she waved to Cassie in the distant. Pulling away from the kerb, he looked back over his shoulder, watching her shake her head, launching into the short journey back up to the house.
He didn't want to lie to her, but it was for her own good, protecting her from something she needn't deal with. Nothing would break his untold promised to her. "Sir, the tests won't take long. I'll have them hurried so we'll have them before the end of the day. Then we'll know exactly what were dealing with. How are you dealing with the pain?"
Looking across at her, she was fiddling in her purse, looking for something, not really paying attention to him. Shifting back to the road, he pushed the truck to go little faster, making the truck bounce over a pothole, sending the contents of her handbag onto the floor. "Gets bad sometimes"
He couldn't stop the smile, watching her out the corner of his eye, picking up her things from the floor, restrained with the seat belt. It was like watching one of those puppets, hanging from its strings, its arms dangling down at it sides before being bend over, swinging freely towards the ground. She made some comment about prescribing him something, but he'd stopped listening, turning out of her road, heading towards the main street.
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He hated hospitals ever since Charlie died; they'd all this fancy equipment so why couldn't they do something for his little boy. The placed wasn't for healing, it was just somewhere you could go, to end your pathetic life. It smelt terrible, the germless free atmosphere, was more likely to kill you than the germs. Sticking needles in your arms or butt, taking great pleasure in sticking things, where they just didn't belong. And they made you wear those gowns, showing your butt off to anyone who caught a glimpse.
Pulling his t-shirt back on over his head, he slipped his arms into the sleeves before pulling it down, sat on the edge of the bed while he did it. He'd never felt so tired, being scanned here, scanned there and anywhere else they could think of. His arm looked like a drug addicts arm, puncture wounds dotted around his forearm, small bruises forming round each mark. Collecting his pants from beside him, he stood up when Janet entered the room, closing the door soundly behind her, reading a file she'd acquired. Bending over, he put each of his legs into their rightful pant leg, pulling them up to waist while he stood up straight, watching Janet, flicking through the papers.
Sitting back against the bed, he placed a hand over the pain, trying his best to think of her, while waiting for the pain to go away. Wrapping his arms round his stomach, he bent over slightly, hissing at the pain. Janet placed a hand on his shoulder, telling him soothing words that didn't help much, but it was nice to know she was there with him. Slowly the pain began to ease off, his arms backed off from around his stomach. Holding a hand to his forehead, he made him self sit up straight, looking at the papers Janet held in her hands.
"What d'ya find out, Doc?" He said, taking some deep breaths.
Nodding her head, she leant against the edge of the bed, dropping the file behind him on the bed. "I was right about it being cancer in the spleen, but its worst than I thought. We're surely going to have to remove the spleen, you'll need six months of chemotherapy and then we'll reassess you to see if any more treatments are needed"
Rubbing his hands over his face, he shook his head in despair, trying not to believe what she was telling him. Couldn't he just go back to bed, go back to bed and take Carter with him? Just to go back on downtime, spend the rest of eternity at his cabin, hidden from sight and thought.
"I've scheduled the surgery to be done as soon as possible. You won't be able to go into the field while you get over this, you understand? The chemotherapy will take a lot out of you; you'll be tire more and be more receptive to any illness going round. I've talked with the General; he still wants you to come to work, strategic analysis of missions and other things"
Dropping his hands from his face, he stuffed them between his thighs, looking down at his socked feet. "Doc, just tell me one thing" She nodded her head. "How are we gonna explain this to the others? They're gonna want to know"
Her hand was on his shoulder again, squeezing it slightly, rubbing a lulling pattern on his back. "We'll think of something"
Raking his hair back, he stood up from the bed, pulling his pants up to fasten them into place, tucking his t-shirt into them. Reaching for his shirt, he realised looking at the Janet, he owed her big time for this. It was probably driving her nuts, seeing Carter and Daniel, unable to tell them what was wrong with him. The Doctor in her couldn't anyway, but she was their friend as well, so it was harder for her than it was for him.
Years had taught him, how to keep things from loved ones, stuffing it down into the bottom of his boots to be forgotten about. Maybe if he stuffed is spleen into his boot, the damn thing would go away? He didn't think so.
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Month Later
Opening his office door, he found it took all of his energy, pushing the handle down on the door. He'd been finding a lot of things lately, took a lot more time and patients, having to pace him self at doing things. The fifteen-minute trip from the surface to his office, took him twice as long now, stopping to catch his breath or to wait for the aches in his muscles to get to the point, where he could walk again or hobble. Sometimes he found the pain he'd had before the operation, was easier to stand than the pain he'd got now.
Every time he moved or did anything, it took him a while to recuperate afterwards, sitting around like a stuff dummy everything passing by him. One example would be a week ago, he'd been sat in the gym, watching Teal'c and Daniel sparing, while he was… dieing from the walk from the locker room to the gym. When he'd finally mustard up enough energy to stand up, Carter walked into the gym, making him collapsed back down onto the bench. Not because he was tired, but he was blown away by the sight of her in a tight vest type top, and tight legging that came half down her shin. He'd left soon after that with the cryptic help of Teal'c, half picking him up and half dragging him to the door.
Leaving the door opened to his office, he flicked on the light switch, dropping his keys onto the table while he fell into his chair. Using the momentum from his fall into the chair, he turned to face his desk, feeling the need to sleep coming on. He was fed up of sleeping, even though Janet told him he'd feel tired after his sessions, he found he was tired from everything. Waking up in the mornings made him tired, opening his eyes made him tired, actually thinking made him tired but he found it easy not to do that as he never did it.
Looking at the pink post it on his screen, he made himself lean forward in his seat, so he could read it more clearly. Rolling his eyes at the reminder of his check up, he spun the chair round, forcing himself to get out of his chair. Letting his jacket fall from his shoulders, he let it drop unceremonially onto his chair, picking up his mail from his in box. Sorting through his mail, he pushed each foot to move, heading back down the corridor he'd just come from.
Wiping the back of his hand over his forehead, he pressed the call button for the elevator, shoving his mail into his pocket. Bracing himself against the wall, he watched the screen count up until the elevator binged, the doors opening beside him. Pushing himself from the wall, he just made it into the elevator in time, grabbing onto the handrail inside, pressing the button for the infirmary. Someone was calling to him to hold the elevator, but he hadn't the energy to press the hold button, watching the doors begin to close.
Somehow she managed to squeeze through the gap, running into the back wall, the doors shutting firmly together while she turned round to face him. "Sir? Why didn't you hold the doors open for me?"
Standing up straight, he turned to face her, casually as possible leaning up the wall. "I didn't hear you. Sorry"
She frowned at him, moving to stand beside him, scrutinising him with a look. "Are you okay?"
Waving her concern away with his hand, he jumped at the doors when they sprung open, somehow finding the energy to run down the corridor, ignoring her calls to him down the corridor. She was always asking him that, 'Are you okay?'. 'You don't look so good, sir'. 'What's going on with you?'.
Everywhere he went, it was like she was following him, not just on the base. He was getting a few things, from the local market and she was there, pretending to be shopping but he could tell she was following him. The silver Volvo trailing behind his black truck told him that.
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Two Weeks Later
Watching the stars always calm his nerves, every one of those twinkling dots, had their own little story. There were so many of them, yet he'd probably only been to a sixth of them, still billions of them left to explore and use as a battlefield. Somewhere out there, there had to be a place where there wasn't any diseases, any hunger or homelessness. No one fighting, just a peaceful world, where he could live, the rest of days out on.
Sipping at his drink, he smiled at the soft hand trailing over his shoulders, the owner coming round to stand in front of him in the moonlight. Her hair seemed platinum in the light, her eyes sparkling their cheekiness at him, while her smile dazed him. She sat down on the jetty between his legs, trailing her fingers up and down his shin, tickling and tantalising him. Leaning forward towards her, he placed his hands on her shoulders, chasing her tension away with his fingers.
Her head tilted back towards him, lighting her features with the light from the moon. Snaking her hands up to him, he cupped at her face, pressing his lips… The banging at his office door woke him, his hand knocking off a pile of paper off his desk. Looking at his watch, he groaned at it, wiping the sleep from his eyes, sitting up into his seat. The door opened while he adjusted his hat, Carter and Daniel came into his office, both looking annoyed at the Jaffa who followed them into the room.
"O'Neill, needs his rest" Teal'c said, trying to shooed them back out the door.
Carter pushed Teal'c aside, missing his reaching arms, slamming her hands onto the desk, leaning over towards him. "I've had enough with being fobbed off all the time. I know there's something wrong. We both know there's something wrong" She pointed at Daniel over her shoulder. "And I don't believe the story that you swallowed your key ring. They wouldn't operate on you just for that and I don't think that you're stupid enough to do it. Every time we've got downtime and we organise to do something together, you're too tired or are already asleep to do it. I want to know now, what the hell's going on?"
Rubbing at his forehead, he managed to get out of his seat, collecting some folders from his In-tray. "It's none of ya business"
His leg gave way on him slightly, making him grab onto the desk and Teal'c grab onto him, pulling him back onto his feet. Glaring at the older man, he pushed him away, willing himself to make it out of the room, without the assistance of anyone. "Carter, just stay out of it or you'll end up getting hurt"
Leaving the door opened, he tried his best to make it to the common room; footsteps behind him told him Teal'c was coming. Anyone could come as long as they'd let him sleep, didn't asked if he was feeling okay and left him alone.
**************************************************************
A Month and an Half Later
Leaving the hospital elevator behind him, he pulled on his jacket over his shoulders, already dozy from his latest treatment. Twisting his cap round, smiling at a passing nurse he walked through the sliding doors when they opened, searching for his ride. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he stopped seeing his ride and the unwanted extra passenger, leaning up the side of the car, their eyes on his every movement. Janet said something to her, starting down the path towards him, sharing her look between them.
Reaching into the inside pocket of his jacket, he plucked his sunglasses out of it, turning his cap back round to its traditional position. Sliding his glasses onto his nose, Janet came to stand beside him, naturally putting her arm round his waist, guiding him towards the car like on several occasions. Holding his ground, they stopped after a few steps; she looked up to his shadowed face, searching for the hold up.
"Why's Carter 'ere?" He asked, pointing to Carter at the end of the path, his eyes never wavering from her.
Squeezing his side slightly, she started them back on the tiring journey to the car. "She wouldn't let me out of the house, unless I took her with me"
Slamming his brakes on, he stopped in the middle of the pathway, Janet slipped easily from him, carrying on a few steps. Gradually she turned to face him, venturing back to his side again. Watching the tiny woman compared to him, try to get him to budge again, but with his aching muscles, he found it easy to not comply with her demands.
"Doc, you didn't tell her, did ya?"
Her head bowed from sight, examining the weeds coming through the gaps between the paving slabs. From her behaviour, he knew the woman at the end of the path had broken his trust in her, as a doctor and as a friend. Closing his eyes behind his sunglasses, he allowed Janet to tug him down the pathway. Lifting his sunglasses up slightly, he rubbed at his tired eyes, feeling his whole world crumble around him.
The last thing in this world, unaffected by this thing that'd been in his life, was now affected by it, and now her behaviour towards him would change. She'd pity him like the nurses and Janet, worry that he wasn't doing his job right like the General, and try to help every minute like Teal'c. He'd didn't want that though, for her to be at his beckon call, stopping her from doing what she wanted to do.
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The motion of the car, turning woke him slightly from his snooze, catching bits from the chitchat going on in the front seat. Scrunching himself into a tighter little ball, he rested his head on the cushion, Janet had given to him when he got in, the routine planned out ahead of time. Opening an eye slightly, he saw the tree that grew over his driveway in the front window, the car pulling to a stop. The engine went dead, both women get out of their seats, their chat leaving his hearing range.
Closing his eye when the door, by his feet opened, he let them pull him out of back seat, too drowsy to make it from the car to the front door. They turned him onto his back, sliding him along the seat, hauling him along the seat by his ankles and then his arms. Awkwardly they lifted him out of the car, draping his arms over their shoulders, one of them kicked the door shut.
"He's not very heavy, Janet"
Huffing and puffing, they dragged and pulled his feet, getting him round the front of the car and up onto the porch. "When I was doing his check up, it's what made me realise their was something going on. He lost about ten pounds in two weeks"
Each of the steps hit his feet, the struggle eventually made them drop him, onto the porch. If any of his neighbours saw it, they'd think he was drunk, already in the day at this unusual hour for drinking. Mentally shaking his head, he felt someone's hands search through his pockets, fishing his house keys from his pocket.
"I'll open the door, if you drag him to his bedroom, Sam"
His arms elevated from his sides, her strong fingers clasping round his wrists, dragging him towards the door while Janet opened it. The beeping of the house alarm, told him they'd access to his house, leaving him no choice but to be dragged along the floor, keeping up his pretence of being a sleep.
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Waking up from his long sleep, slowly he rolled out of bed, staggering slightly when he stood, finding himself to be wearing his t-shirt and boxers. Ruffling his hair back, he shuffled to his bedroom door, his senses starting to come back to him. The muffle sounds from the TV pounded at his head, opening his bedroom door to let the presenter and the roar of engines, cloud his hearing from anything else.
Glancing down at his watch, wiping the sleep from his left eye, his watch clearly stated it was 1113hrs. Yawning down at the wooden floor, he guided him self along the hallway, his hand ready to steady him against the wall. The long black coat, hanging from on a coat hook, caught his attention when he entered the entrance hall, never before seeing that coat hanging there before. Rubbing at his eyes, he missed the first step down into the living room, instantly he clung to the wall, cursing himself for being so stupid.
The sleeping form, on the couch, made him smile, chuckling at her sat in the middle of the couch, beer in one hand and the remote in the other. Stealthily he stepped round her legs, taking the remote and beer from her, shooting the TV with the remote, to quieten its babble. Quietly he placed them on the glass coffee table, gently persuading her to lie down, lifting her legs up, so she lay along the couch. Stroking some of her hair out of her face, he pulled the throw off the back of the couch, wrapping it round her upper body, tucking it in behind her.
Yawning again, he sat in the armchair opposite her, folding his arms over his chest, settling his head against the soft leather of the chair. Snuggling further into the chair, he let the easy come sleep come, feeling a little better knowing she was there, but hating it because the pity would once more come in the morning, when they both woke up.
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The grumbling of his stomach brought him from his snoozing, the smell of bacon and eggs tantalised him from his sleep, his eyes opening to an empty living room. The throw was replaced onto the back of the couch, back to its usual appearance, presentable yet comfortable. Wiping at his mouth with his hand, he shuffled forward in his seat, his muscles and bones aching, the affects of the chemo catching up with him. Using the arms of the chair, he pushed himself out of the seat; each of his muscles argued and complained, tightening up on him.
Helping hands came from no where, snaking round his waist, letting him put some of his weight on them. Looking to the unwelcome help, he pushed her away when he was able to stand on his own, slowly making his way to the steps, leading to the entrance hall. Her hand was guiding him on his lower back, knocking the friendly hand away; he climbed the steps, detouring to the dining room for a rest.
Collapsing into the chair, he rubbed a hand over his forehead, the exhaustion shown from the sheen of cold sweat. "Why didn't you tell me?"
The chair beside him was pulled out, soon occupied by her, lolling on the edge of the table. "It's none of ya business, Carter"
While she started to talk, he tried to get out of his seat. "It is my business …" A steady hand, on his shoulder, pushed him back into his seat effortlessly. "…when it affects the team"
Stumbling out of his seat, he managed to avoid her reaching hand, finding energy to storm pass her chair into the kitchen. On the floating cabernet, I spotted to breakfast plates, bacon and eggs with a slice toast, displayed on both plates. Before he could do anything, she spun him round by grabbing his t-shirt; his feet lost their grip on the floor.
Landing on his butt, he groaned down at the floor, slumping against the kitchen counter. "Carter, just go away!"
"No, I want to help" She said, reaching down to help him up.
Swatting her hands away from him, shuffling backwards till the opposing counter block him, he rubbed at his eyes, feeling even more sluggish in his movements. "Get out. And that's an order"
She opened her mouth the to protest, a stern hand pointed towards the front door, for a moment she stood there looking at him, examining him from where she stood. A disgruntled sigh escape her lips, leaving him where he sat on the floor, the front door slamming behind her.
Resting his head into his hands, he sat there shaking his head, hating but loving her at the same time. He didn't want to be someone's charity case, someone to run round after him like he was child or an old age pensioner. Sinking down to his side, he cushion his head with his arm, falling back to sleep, noting he'd to ring Janet when he woke up.
**************************************************************
Week Later
The trees rustled in time with the breeze, shifting back and forth with each refreshing gust, cooling him in the time of year, the change from summer to autumn. With his bag sat beside him on the front porch, he waited for his carriage to collect him, taking him back civilisation and the torment of Carter. After he'd woken up on his kitchen floor, he rang Janet asking her to take him to his cabin, needing some time to himself and time to recuperate, from his latest dose of treatment.
Even though he was hiding out from her, she still managed to get to him, the cellular shrilled on many occasions during the week away, until it made a flying visit to the lake, landing hopefully in the deepest part of the lake. At least he wouldn't have to pay for a replacement, the SGC would fork the bill out for it; he couldn't stand the idea of having to put all the numbers into it. Nearly everyday, every hour she rung just to hear it ring, he'd put anything on just to drown the ringing out, or switched it off only to find, it turned itself back on somehow.
Biting his top lip in anticipation, twiddling his thumbs on the controls of his Gameboy, beating up the baddie to get to the next level. The roar of an engine alerting him to company, flicking the switch across on his Gameboy, he looked up to see the wrong car come through the parting in the trees. The silver Volvo pulled up in front of him, pushing himself from his chair, he kicked his bag aside, dropping his Gameboy on top of it while heading inside for his jacket.
Opening the closet door, he heard her car door shut, the gravel moving under her feet and then the small thuds of feet against the wooden floor, coming up behind him. Unhooking his jacket he closed the door, feeding one arm into the sleeve of the jacket, he took his keys from a dish on the side, ignoring her when she came inside.
"Janet told me to come pick you up, there's a medical emergency at the base" She said, picking up a picture from the side.
Selecting the front door key, he snatched the photo from her hands, placing it back on the table, gesturing for to leave. Walking in the opposite direction to which he proposed, she wandered into the living room area, looking at his thing's lining the walls and shelves. Feeding his other arm into his jacket, he pulled his jacket firmly round, feeling they were going to be staying longer than he wanted her too.
Facing him on the other side of the couch, she said. "Sir, why didn't you tell me?"
Throwing his hands up at her, he stomped off towards the kitchen, grumbling incoherently at the ceiling. Firmly grabbing onto the tail end of his jacket, she pulled him back and a round, forcing him to face the issue. Her eyes had him, endangering his lively hood with the determination he saw there, the hurt and worry accompanying it didn't surprise him.
Wrinkling up her nose, she grabbed him by his jacket, jerking him forwards. "Tell me?!"
Swiftly he knocked her hands away, catching them in midair when she went to grab him again. "I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to get hurt! You didn't need to go through this again, the chance at losing someone again to that, to cancer!"
Breaking out of his hold, she pushed him backwards, turning away from him. Straightening his jacket, he ran a hand through his hair, resting up against the side next to him. Slowly she turned back round, her body language spoke volumes about her feelings, her uneasiness in talking about feelings. His body language was probably the mirror image of hers.
"I'll tell you something, sir. The thing that you've gone out of the way to prevent, I can say that you've successfully done it without trying. I've spend the past months, trying to figure out what's wrong with you, only for you to throw my concern, and sometimes my friendship, back in my face"
Taking a step towards her, he shook his head at her. "No, it was for ya own good. And if I had to do it again, I'd do the same thing because you don't need this in your life"
Pounding a fist against his chest, she scratched at her nose, letting him know she was getting annoyed with him. "It's not fair! You told Teal'c, but you couldn't trust me enough to tell me! I thought we're friends!"
"Get out, I'll find my own way back to Colorado" He said over his shoulder, turning away from her to get the phone.
His temper started to get the better of him, when she stomped over to the couch, falling back onto it like a stubborn child. Pulling up his pants, he told himself to stand up to her, not to let his emotions for her get in the way. Going to snatch her up out of the couch, he tripped on the rug, falling flat on his face at her feet. Her helping hands were on him in seconds, helping him to turn onto his back.
"See this is another reason, I didn't want to tell you" Motioning towards her with his hands. "Hovering over me, pitying me because of what I'm going through. I don't want it and don't need it"
Sitting down beside him, her hand resting naturally on his chest. "I don't pity you. At the moment, I want to kick your butt from here to the Asguard's home planet. I'd never pity you. Pity doesn't even come to mind when I think of you or see you. I think it was brave of you to try and deal with this on your own, but it was also stupid and hurtful of you to do it"
"Isn't that a little too far?" He said, sitting up with a little help from her.
"Too far for what?"
He smiled at her, patting her on the leg. "Kicking me to Thor's planet"
They both laughed at each other, gradually falling into a mutual silence, smiling at other when they caught the other looking. Shuffling closer to him, she reached towards his hat, holding herself up by placing a hand, on the other side of his legs. His hands shot up to stop her, but with a smile and encouraging look from her, he let her take his hat off. Dropping his hat into her lap, she ran a hand over his baldhead, chuckling at the sight of him.
Unhurried she leaned towards him, her hand joining her other behind his neck, holding him steady. Stopping her by her shoulders, he shook his head at her, holding her inches away from him. "We can't do this"
Caressing his cheek, she happily sighed at him. "Are we on the same team?"
"Not officially, no" He said, sternly holding her back, when she started to move towards him.
"As I'm acting CO of SG-1, who do I report to?"
Smiling at her intellectual sound mind, he slipped his hands from her shoulders, under her arms to pull her closure, ruffling up the rug underneath them. "Not me that's for certain"
Holding her tightly close to him, gingerly he met her lips, briefly laying kisses on her lips, smiling between each encounter. Closing his eyes, he held her firmly behind her head, kissing her till his head was spinning, either from the lack of oxygen or the intoxicating smell of her perfume.
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Two Months
The streets and houses of Colorado passed by the window, none of it meaning a lot to him, half dozing in his seat while watching Sam drive his truck. Two months had gone by between them, it surprised him that not much had changed; his whole world was tipped upside down. Anywhere he went now, she wasn't far behind him, giving him strengthen to get through a day.
No one was surprise when they saw them together, snuggling up on a couch or enthusiastically chatting over things, anything that happened to come up. When he entered his bedroom now, he didn't see any sign of a single life anymore, both sides of his bed were unmade or something of hers would be lying around.
Coming back from his latest treatment, he felt this one had taken more out of him than the others, since they'd increased his dosage, coming to the end of his treatment. Janet was sat in the back looking over his file, chatting away to Sam while she drove, neither of them noticing he was slightly coherent. Pulling at some slack on his seat belt, he turned from the window towards Sam, making some kind of a smile when she looked at him.
"Ah, sir. You'll be glad to hear you've only got six sessions left, but from looking at the results so far, I'd say everything's going according to plan"
Leaning on the arm of his seat, his head heavily weighing on the seat, he reached across the small space between them, holding his hand out to her. Shifting in her seat, she took hold of his hand, threading her fingers in with his, their joined hand resting in her lap. Smiling he settled more into his seat, lapsing back sleep with a smile on his face, still listening to them talk.
The truck turned down another road, the motion of the truck telling him they'd speeded up. "What you two going to do, when he's better?"
She squeezed his fingers subconsciously; her eyes strayed to him, returning back to the road. "We haven't discussed it"
"I'm not losing her" He mumbled, pulling their hands over to his lap, surrounding her hand with both of his.
Janet awed at him from the back seat, he cringed slightly at the sound, letting their conversation of his cuteness go over his head, forcing himself back to sleep. However much he'd rather watch Sam, some things he didn't want to listen to, especially how Janet liked to inject him in the butt, so she could freely grope it. The image of that was too sickening for him to think about, rather turning to image to Sam than the Doc.
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Three Weeks Later
Watching the leaves on his trees, slowly turn from green to yellow then brown, he sat on his back porch, thanking his stars for how lucky he was. Flicking through another completed file, he dropped it into the chair beside him, taking the next file from the pile, opening it out onto the wooden table. Elevating the papers, he rubbed at the back of his neck reading them, yawning at the tiring and endless paperwork. Whenever he finished one lot, he found another lot was coming through the door, always keeping him going when Sam was off world.
Sounds from the side gate brought his attention away from the file, glancing over his shoulder, he watched the gate opened, Teal'c and Daniel chatting about something, carrying a brown paper bag each. Smiling at them, he closed the file up, dropping back on top of the pile. The blinds in front of the patio door were drawn back out of the way, while the patio door slid open. Cassie came out with another bag like Teal'c and Daniel's, chatting with Sam as she followed her out, placing both their bags on the other end of the table.
Getting out of his seat, he inspected the bags while Daniel and Teal'c put their down too. "What's going on?"
"None of us have really seen you lately. Sam said you'd probably wouldn't be really tired today, so we thought we'd come round and see you" Daniel said, taking a soda out one of the bags, handing it over to him.
Sam looked inside one of the bags, selecting one of the bags; she took it inside with her, humming to herself while she headed to the kitchen. Sipping at the soda, he collected the files up together, leaving his soda on the table. "Teal'c, can you start the barbie like I shown you. The stuff should all be there"
Teal'c gracefully nodded his head at him, turning towards the homemade barbeque, while he headed inside. Juggling with the files when they started to slip, turning the corner into the hallway from his dining, he made his way to his study. The door to his study was already open, allowing him to head on inside, carefully placing his files onto his desk. Splitting the files up into ones done and ones yet to do, hands snake round his waist, a head pressing onto his back.
Turning round in her arms, he sat back onto the edge of his desk, making them head height, traipsing his arms lazily round her. She stands between his legs, plucking off his hat to replace it with another one, dropping his other one onto the desk behind him.
"There, some variety never hurt anyone" She said, clasping her hands round his neck, tinkling his skin.
Tugging her forward, he moved to kiss her when Cassie came running in. "QUICK! DANIEL'S SET HIS ARM ON FIRE!"
They looked at each other; a humorous look came to both their faces, following the yells into the back garden. Standing on the edge of the porch, they all watched Daniel flapping his arm round, screaming like a girl before falling over, smothering the flames in the grass. Shaking his head at the younger man, he pulled Sam closure to his side, sliding his hand into the back pocket of her jeans.
***************************************************************
Hearing footsteps entered his bedroom; he automatically thought it was Sam, returning back from a mission, needing to join in bed before his treatment that day. He could've only dreamed, opening his eyes he found kind brown eyes staring back at him, the torture those eyes put him through over the years. Edging the duvet down so she could his face, she smiled at him, crouching down at the side of the bed.
"Morning, sir. Time to get out of bed. It's your last treatment today" She said, trying at her best to pull the duvet from his hands.
Tugging it from her grip, he rolled over onto what had come known as 'Sam's side', snuggling into the deep intoxicating aroma of Sam. Three days she'd been off world, promising to treat him when he'd had his last dose of chemo. Any treat was good for him, just as long as it didn't have to do with Janet and didn't make him tired. But… if it were that other thing they did together, he'd do that with her till he collapsed from exhaustion, like on countless occasions.
Rolling over onto his side, he forgot which side he was lying on, sprawling out onto the floor when he and the duvet fell off the side. Groaning into the duvet, he sat up when someone tugged him up, checking his head and anywhere else she could get her hands. Thankfully he was sitting on his butt, remembering the chitchat they'd had in the truck, some weeks ago.
***************************************************************
Month Later
Leaning against the side of the elevator wall, he smiled when the level indicated stopped, letting him out onto his office floor. The doors opened when he leant up from the wall, finding Daniel, Teal'c and Sam waiting for him, all of them smiling in their own way. Yawning from the boring journey down, not from tiredness much anymore, just on the odd occasion. Stepping out of the elevator, he shoved his hands into his pockets, leading the way to his office, the only type of leading he'd be doing till he was properly back on his feet.
A hand found its way to his lower back, a gestured that could be taken two ways, a friendly helping hand or a intimate way of letting the other know they're there. "Sir, General Hammond has said you can come on the odd mission, missions that are absolutely safe for you to go on without worry. He wants to see you as well, in his office at 1000hrs"
Taking the keys out of his pocket, he nodded his head at her, unlocking his office door for entry. Invading his quiet office, Daniel and Sam followed him in, Teal'c disappearing off for no given reason. Depositing his keys to his desk, he claimed his mail from his In-tray, flicking through the ones Sam hadn't collect at the beginning of the week. Throwing most of them in the trash, the whispering behind him stopped while he sat down in his seat.
Daniel started for the door, cleaning his glasses with the corner of his shirt. "Commissary, lunch?"
"Sure, meet ya there"
His footsteps faded into the background noise of the corridor. Leaning onto the edge of his desk, she played with his pen pot, knocking some of them from one side to the other. "It's not going to be as bad as you think"
"Nope, I've always enjoyed sitting behind my desk, pushing paper around like those idiots at the pentagon" He said, opening one of the crisp envelops.
"Just remember where your lovely Major came from, sir"
Looking up at her from the letter, he smiled at her, enjoying his little jibes at her. "So… what the hell am I going to do, staying as consultant?"
Her frown was priceless. "What ya mean staying? Aren't you taking command of SG-1 again?"
"Yeah, but not till you've got your own command. I told ya, I'm not losing you for anything"
Chuckling at him, she leant up from the desk, pulling her shirt straight, heading towards the door. Quickly collecting his mail together, he shot out of his seat after her, shoving the unopened letters into his back pocket. Forgetting all about them, when he watches her 'six' for her, down the corridor. If he couldn't watch it out in the field, he'd certainly make up for it round the SGC, never given her a moment's peace.
***************************************************************
The End
Story Notes: Season: Seven
The syptoms told and decribed are what I've comprehended from my research, not to literally go by or anything.
Website: http://www.geocities.com/katmellie17/index.html
Email: Katmellie@AOL.com
The syptoms told and decribed are what I've comprehended from my research, not to literally go by or anything.
Website: http://www.geocities.com/katmellie17/index.html
Email: Katmellie@AOL.com
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]