"Sir, I'm not sure that this is a good idea."
"Relax, Carter. You'll love it!"
"But whenever I've tried it before, it's gone horribly wrong. It's been a disaster. Embarrassing."
"I'll show you what to do. Follow my lead."
"Sir..."
"Call me Jack. We really ought to be on first name terms if we're going to do this."
"OK... Jack."
"Now first we need to raise the temperature."
"Is this hot enough?"
"Yeah, that's right."
"Now introduce this, slowly at first. It should begin to stiffen."
"Oooh, it's working. It's getting thicker. Perhaps I am doing this right."
"Sam, you have to do this next."
"Rub it up and down?"
"Yeah, slowly works best."
"Oh, it does, doesn't it? What do I do with it now?"
"What do you think?"
"In here?"
"Yeah."
"It's gone all soft. What do I do now?"
"You're going to have to do some whipping."
"Whipping?"
"Yeah, use this. Do it hard, Sam!"
"This is making my arm ache. Are you sure I'm doing this right?"
"I'll say! That's great! See how much it's grown."
"Yeah, that's amazing!"
"That'll do now. If you whip too much it isn't good for anything."
"No?"
"It'll be kind of dry and limp."
"Oh. Now let me guess. I put it in here?"
"You've got it! But be gentle with it."
"You didn't say that before!"
"You didn't need to be gentle before!"
"Oh. It only just fits."
"Trust me, it'll get bigger yet."
"You sure?"
"Oh yeah, Sam. You've done everything right."
"I'm flattered you think so but I suspect you're just being kind."
"Remember you mustn't look at it while it's in there or it'll go down."
"Collapse completely?"
"Yeah."
"Who'd have guessed. I think that could be where I've been going wrong. Well, Jack, this has been fun. Perhaps you could show me another technique another time."
"Be glad to. I told you making a cheese souffle was easy."
The End.
Story Notes: Email: wendyparkinson@hotmail.com
Category: Humour
Spoilers: None
Season/Sequel info: None
Rating: Ah, now... this depends on how far into the gutter your mind has descended - to be on the safe side I'll say PG13
Content Warnings: None
Summary: Jack gives Sam a lesson...
Archive: "Heliopolis" and "Sam and Jack"
Date: 23/7/99
Author's notes: A little while ago, my friend Dee sent me a copy of her 'Daniel's Firsts' stories (which I believe were posted on the Danielites list). She has kindly given me her permission to borrow her concept and gave it a S/J slant. This is pretty silly - you have been warned...
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters belong to MGM, Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
All feedback and constructive criticism will be greatly appreciated. No flames please.
copyright Wendy Parkinson July 1999
Category: Humour
Spoilers: None
Season/Sequel info: None
Rating: Ah, now... this depends on how far into the gutter your mind has descended - to be on the safe side I'll say PG13
Content Warnings: None
Summary: Jack gives Sam a lesson...
Archive: "Heliopolis" and "Sam and Jack"
Date: 23/7/99
Author's notes: A little while ago, my friend Dee sent me a copy of her 'Daniel's Firsts' stories (which I believe were posted on the Danielites list). She has kindly given me her permission to borrow her concept and gave it a S/J slant. This is pretty silly - you have been warned...
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters belong to MGM, Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
All feedback and constructive criticism will be greatly appreciated. No flames please.
copyright Wendy Parkinson July 1999
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]