"Weird Al? You’ve GOT to be kidding me."
"What? I just bought this CD, I’ve got to listen to it."
"You buy Weird Al CDs?"
"What is a Weird Al?"
"We’ll explain later, Teal’c."
"You’re NOT listening to it, Daniel."
"C’mon, Jack... he has a new Star Wars spoof on here..."
"No."
"What’s this song, Daniel? ‘Albuquerque’?"
"I don’t know, I haven’t listened to it yet."
"Don’t you start, too, Carter."
"C’mon, sir, it’s Weird Al. He’s funny."
"My answer is no, for the last time."
"Put the CD in, Daniel."
"Carter!"
"We’re on vacation, sir, you can’t give me orders. Put it in, Daniel."
"What about what I want? I’ve got Three Dog Night right here--"
"We’ve listened to that for three straight days, sir. If I hear ‘Jeremiah was a Bullfrog’ one more time..."
"It’s a classic!"
"It’s about to be broken, if you get my drift."
*Grumble*
"Put in the CD, Daniel."
"Now hold on just a minute, don’t I get any say in this?"
"You got your say, we’re listening to Weird Al."
"Whatever happened to democracy?"
"Null and void within the confines of this van."
"Commie."
"Don’t make me find my sidearm."
"Seig Heil, Fuhrer Carter."
"Daniel, the CD."
~A long long time ago, in a galaxy far away, Naboo was under an attack~
"Wait, I know that tune..."
~And I thought me and Qui-Gon Jinn could talk the Federation into maybe cutting them a little slack~
"Isn’t that...?"
~But their response it didn’t thrill us; They locked the door and tried to kill us; We escaped from that gas; Met Jar Jar and Boss Nass~
"OH MY GOD!"
"Pull over! Pull over! Jesus Jack, are you having an aneurism?"
~We took a Bongo from the scene; And we went to theed to see the Queen; We all wound up on Tatooine; That’s where we met this boy...~
"Weird Al has SCREWED ‘American Pie!’"
"Breathe, Jack, breathe."
"Sam, I think you might want to drive the rest of the way."
"I think we should change CDs before Jack hyperventilates."
"Or a vein in his forehead bursts."
"Thanks, guys, love you too."
"What is an American Pie?"
"Put in something else, Daniel."
"What?"
"Anything."
"Um... okay..."
~Jeremiah was a Bullfrog! Was a good friend of mine!~
"AHHH! Pull over! I think Sam’s head’s going to explode!"
"How ‘bout... no more music for a while?"
"Ya think?"
*Silence*
*Honk! Honk!*
*Silence*
"So... how ‘bout that music?"
"Damned hurricane."
"Damned evacuation."
"Damned vacation."
"O’Neill, I enjoyed the ‘Weird Al’."
"You would, Teal’c."
*Silence*
*Look*
"It was a compliment... sorta. I’ll explain later."
"It did not sound like a compliment, DanielJackson."
~Near, far, wherever you are, I believe that the heart does go on~
"Titanic?! For cryin’ out loud--!"
"Do you want t’go back to Weird Al?"
*Grumble*
"Kill me. Kill me now."
"O’Neill?"
"Ugh, FINE. Men."
"PMS, Carter?"
"You do NOT want to ask that question in the confines of this van, Jack. Trust me."
"How much longer?"
"You were an annoying kid, weren’t ya Danny?"
"Just asking a question..."
*Honk! Honk!*
"I hate this state."
"I hate vacations."
"I hate Weird Al."
~If ya wanna be my lover, ya gotta get with my friends~
"Put the Spice Girls DOWN, Daniel."
"Nothing wrong with the Spice Girls..."
"Unless you have to listen to them for five solid hours at Cassie’s house every weekend. Put the CD away."
"But-"
"Sidearm."
"Okay, okay..."
"San Antonio, one hundred and twenty-seven miles."
"Thank you, Teal’c."
"You are welcome, O’Neill."
"We have REALLY gotta teach him about sarcasm."
"*Ya think?*"
*giggle*
"You two planned that, didn’t you?"
"Just been waiting for the perfect opportunity."
"You were an annoying kid too, weren’t you Carter?"
"I’m shocked! I was a perfect angel!"
"HA HA HA HA HA HA!"
"Daniel, hit him for me, would you?"
"Um..."
"You’re closer, or I’d do it myself."
"Oh, right."
"Do and and I’m shoving you out of the moving vehicle, Danny."
"We’re not actually moving at this point--"
"Just wait."
"Sam--"
"I have to do everything myself, don’t I?"
"I have a CD."
"Put it in, Teal’c. Can’t be any worse than the Spice Girls."
"Or Titanic."
"Or Jeremiah was a Bullfrog."
"I find this music most calming. It is called ‘Enya’."
"I thought you had to be over eighty or mentally ill to enjoy Enya."
"O’Neill?"
"Never mind, Teal’c. Um... I don’t think Enya will be a very good idea."
"Hey, how long’s it been since we moved?"
"Um... five minutes or so. Probably more."
"How long since we’ve gone 70?"
"About three hours."
"And how far are we from San Antonio?"
"One hundred and twenty-seven miles, O’Neill."
"This’s gonna take forever."
"Maybe we should evacuate to somewhere else."
"Hey, At-ah-scoh-sah is only ten miles."
"Where?"
"At-ah-scoh-sah, I guess. I’m guessing with the pronounciation."
"The linguist is at a loss? This’s going on a report SOMEWHERE."
"We’re on vacation; we don’t write reports on vacation."
"This is going on a report somewhere, Danny, just accept it."
*Grumble*
"We need some music."
"NOT Weird Al."
"Or Enya."
"Or Spice Girls."
"Don’t even think about Jeremiah, sir."
"Hey, we’re moving!"
"Whoo-hoo, five feet! At this rate we’ll be to San Antonio before I’m eighty!"
"At least we’re moving."
"Correction: we moved. Now we’re stopped again."
"We should’ve taken a hummer."
"Dammit Carter, why can’t you think of things like that when we’re still on base?"
"Sidearm."
"Gotcha."
"A tank, even. That would’ve been great."
"Daniel, I’m shocked!"
"A plane. I could’ve gotten us there."
"They wouldn’t let us take off, Carter, remember?"
"I still could’ve gotten the Galaxy out of there."
"Even Hammond couldn’t get us off if we stole a C-5."
"Party pooper."
*Silence*
"Think this thing could go off-road?"
"Not very effectively."
"Damn."
"Hey, they’re moving up there!"
"Is that a rest stop?"
"I’ve gotta go."
"You’re kidding me."
"No, I’m not. Pull over at the rest stop."
"Do you realize how long it’ll take us to get back on the road?"
"Pull over unless you want a puddle."
*Sigh*
"Women."
"Just because YOU can hang out the window--"
"Please don’t finish that sentence, Sam."
"Don’t worry, I wasn’t planning on it."
"Are we going to decide on a CD anytime soon?"
"Lemme see here... Natalie Merchant?"
"She whines too much."
"Jewel?"
"Ditto."
"Sarah McLachlan?"
"What is up with you and the Lilith Fair line-up, Carter?"
"A-hem. Sara McLachlan?"
"That’ll put us to sleep."
"I could live with that."
"I’m driving. Usually it’s a bad idea to put the driver to sleep."
*Sigh*
"Okay... Oasis?"
"Who’s that?"
*Silence*
"I am not that damn old, who’s Oasis?"
"Moving on... Daniel, what the hell is this?"
"Oh, that’s the Toolbox Christmas CD I bought last year. It’s really neat, they play Christmas carols on tools! It’s--"
"Next!"
"Right."
*Grumble*
"Ah-hah, this might just do it! The Beach Boys!"
"Actually, Sam, I don’t really--"
"Shut up, Danny, the Beach Boys are great. Sam, if you’ll do the honors."
"Surfing music while evacuating a hurricane. Is anyone else overdosing on irony?"
*Sigh*
"You had to ruin it, didn’t you?"
"I’m just saying..."
"What else ya got in there, Carter?"
"Barenaked Ladies?"
"In that little thing?"
"It’s a BAND, sir."
"I knew that, it was a--ah, never mind. Sure, fine. Barenaked Ladies."
"Don’t you find them derivitive of ‘They Might Be Giants’?"
"Since when are you a music critic, Daniel?"
"The rest stop! You’re going right past the... *sigh*... exit."
"Oops, sorry, Carter."
"You’re explaining the puddle to the guys at the base."
"Dammit, can’t we stop at a bush somehwere? I mean, we’ll be stopped here for another half hour anyway..."
"I’m not using a bush."
"Why the hell not?"
"Because you don’t want to see the hell I’ll raise if I squat in poison ivy or get bitten by a rattlesnake."
"Okay, point."
~It’s been One Week~
"Weird Al does a parody of this song, too."
"Drop it, Daniel."
"One hundred and twenty-five miles."
*Sigh*
"*Thank you, Teal’c.*"
The End.
Story Notes: Spoilers: None save Hurricane Bret, which happened in real life as opposed to on the show ::grin::
Archive: Sure, if ya really wanna :)
Disclaimers: Not making any money. Don’t own ‘em. But you knew that, didn’t ya? :)
Dedication: Dedicated to the S/Jers who thought good thoughts while I evacuated, to Ean who rode the six hours with me to San Antonio, and to Weird Al, who made it all worthwhile.
Authors Notes: OK, here's the deal with this story: the team got a vacation and decided to come to my hometown of Corpus Christi, TX for some surf, sun and sand. What they got was a hurricane and an evacuation. The rest of the story is pretty self explanatory :) See? Toldja I'd come up with something... Toodles, Manders
Archive: Sure, if ya really wanna :)
Disclaimers: Not making any money. Don’t own ‘em. But you knew that, didn’t ya? :)
Dedication: Dedicated to the S/Jers who thought good thoughts while I evacuated, to Ean who rode the six hours with me to San Antonio, and to Weird Al, who made it all worthwhile.
Authors Notes: OK, here's the deal with this story: the team got a vacation and decided to come to my hometown of Corpus Christi, TX for some surf, sun and sand. What they got was a hurricane and an evacuation. The rest of the story is pretty self explanatory :) See? Toldja I'd come up with something... Toodles, Manders
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]