She played the perfect officer for four days. Through the confusion of Bray'tac showing up with his devastating news of Anubis' planned attack, through Jack's decline as the Ancient knowledge began to take over, even through the departure of the remaining three members of SG1 to try to find the Lost City. She gave Dr. Weir crash courses on Gate basics, and sat in on meetings and conference calls, she simulated and postulated. She actually liked her new CO who she found to be an intelligent woman that even Jack was able to get along with. She buried the guilt she felt at not being out there as the attack began and did everything in her power to keep the base safe, and provide a calm presence in the control room, where Sgt. Davis was being sorely missed as he aided Hammond on the Prometheus. She silently praised Dr. Weir's quick action when they lost power and she ordered the Iris closed manually without hesitating. And she cheered with the rest of the staff when Hammond verified that they had defeated Anubis' forces.
Then she waited. The news from Antarctica when it came was almost more than she could take and fearing she would break down right in front of everyone she quickly retreated. Dr. Weir held a long conversation with Daniel getting as much information as she could. As they were closing he asked to speak to Sam.
"She stepped out, Dr. Jackson. Is there something you needed to ask her?" Dr Weir inquired.
There was along pause. Daniel knew that he and Teal'c would probably be at the Antarctic site for days and there was no one he trusted to look out for Sam. Not even Sgt. Davis was around to make sure she ate and slept. But he knew if he said a word to her new CO Sam would have his head.
"No, I'll catch her later," Daniel replied.
Sam for her part had found a safe haven in Janet's old office. A lot of the medical staff had been ordered out to McMurdo to assist with the injuries and casualties incurred during the firefight with Anubis, so just a skeleton staff currently remained at the SGC as there were no teams off-world. Sam knew if she was really needed she would be paged, and no one would think to look for her here in the meantime. She stayed there sitting in the guest chair she had used on a hundred different occasions out of sight of the security camera and waited for the tears to come. When they did the sobs rocked her body until she physically ached.
Later, when she felt capable of holding it together for a short period of time she left her refuge and headed to SG1's locker room where she changed out of her BDU's and washed her face. Then she called up topside to see if there was an airman available to take her home. Since they were used to carting her home when SG1 was off world a car and airman were made available with a minimum of fuss. An hour later she was settling herself on her couch with a sigh of relief.
She wasn't surprised when her phone rang to find that it was Daniel. He had waited until the command post was set up and then borrowed a satellite phone to call her. Finding that she had checked out of the base he knew to try her at home.
"Sam where the hell did you get to? Dr. Weir said you stepped out and you never came back," he scolded.
His only answer was something that sounded suspiciously like a sniffle.
"Sam? Are you alright?" he asked in concern.
"Just peachy Daniel," Sam responded hoarsely.
"We'll figure it out Sam. Teal'c and I are leading the team here to recover anything that might help us translate some of the writings, and we'll keep sending messages to the Asguard. Don't give up," he counseled.
"I wish I could be there with you," Sam confessed.
"I know, but we'll be sending you stuff tomorrow that you can analyze. And quite frankly it's very cold here. I would gladly change places with you," Daniel told her.
"I remember," Sam said, her mind wandering back to the first time she had been there. Even way back then she had felt a real sense of safety in Jack's arms.
They'd almost lost him that time. Come to think of it, they almost lost him the second time they were there too. The man was three for three. He'd never be going back there again if she had any say in the matter. Assuming of course he ever made it back this time.
Cassie arrived home shortly after, and Sam pulled it together long enough to make dinner. Afterwards she stopped her young charge before she could disappear into her room, and sat her down to tell her what had occurred over the last week. Cassie was in turn horrified and grief stricken. Having just lost her mother the idea of losing anyone else was incomprehensible. Sam did her best to reassure her, but knew she was failing miserably. Suddenly the teen seemed to realize how this must be affecting Sam, and she found herself suddenly switching roles.
"I'm sure you guys will find a way, Sam. Uncle Jack didn't give up. He must have know that putting himself in that machine would save him, and he'd be able to come back to you," she reasoned.
Strangely that thought hadn't occurred to Sam, and she found herself with a small amount of hope to hold onto.
"You're right Cassie. I'm sure he knew that he could survive in that thing until help arrived," she agreed, feeling more confident this time.
*****
It was a much calmer Sam Carter that headed back to the SGC the next day. At least she was until Dr. Weir sent for her and gave her a royal chewing out for her disappearing act the day before. She took it with her shoulders squared and back as straight at attention as she could get on crutches, and apologized to her CO politely, letting her know it wouldn't happen again. Dr. Weir noticed that after the Lt. Colonel had departed she got several disapproving looks from the staff in the control room who had probably heard her raised voice. Within hours it seemed that everyone on the base was being cool and distant to her. Finally she called in her aide, a young Lieutenant who had served with Hammond for several years.
"Adamsly, would you care to let me know exactly what I did that was so awful?" the Doctor inquired. When the Lieutenant paused she put on her best commander's tone. "I can make it an order."
"It was the way you treated Lt. Colonel Carter, Ma'am," the young woman finally admitted. "We all feel like she's been through enough and didn't really deserve to be reprimanded."
"So I should just let her come and go as she pleases?" Dr. Weir demanded in confusion.
"No, Ma'am, but given the circumstances I'm sure you can understand why she needed some privacy," the Lieutenant gently chastised.
"What circumstances would those be?" Dr. Weir queried.
Adamsly's eyes grew large as she realized that Dr. Weir had no clue as to the complex relationship between Lt. Colonel Carter and Colonel Jack O'Neill.
"I don't think the Lt. Colonel would want me to comment on her private life, Ma'am," the lieutenant replied, and set her lips in a firm line that sent a clear message that her CO would get no gossip from her.
Beth Adamsly had been at the SGC for 3 years and like most of the female officers was friendly with Sam Carter. There was no way she would betray her by discussing this with Weir, even under direct orders. Elizabeth Weir was a master negotiator partially because of her uncanny ability to read people. She recognized the look on her aide's face and correctly interpreted it to mean she would be getting no information there. But she was sure that there were plenty of sources out there, and she was now curious enough to keep her ear to the ground. She was sure she would find out what had caused this unusually protective stance by the base staff soon.
What she hadn't counted on was just how efficient the Lieutenant was, or just how protective the others would be of the woman that had saved them all many times over. Adamsly effortlessly spread the word that Dr. Weir was not aware of the relationship between Carter and O'Neill, and thus should not be blamed for her actions in reprimanding the Lt. Colonel. In addition, out of respect for the two officers, no gossip was to be spread in the vicinity of the new base CO. So while people eased off on their disapproval, Dr. Weir was still in the dark as to why her actions had caused such an intense reaction in the first place.
Meanwhile, the woman that was the cause of the whole affair remained blissfully ignorant, which was a good thing seeing as she had enough to worry about. She used the one technique that had always worked for her and buried herself in her work to keep from having to deal with the total and complete emptiness she was feeling. Just as Daniel had promised, schematics and photos had arrived for her to review, providing plenty for her to obsess over. By Sunday she had exhausted herself enough that she thought she might actually be able to get a bit of sleep that night. She was just about to dial topside to get an airman to drive her home when she was interrupted by a knock on her lab door.
"Colonel, when I said that I didn't want you disappearing without telling anyone where you were I didn't intend for you to chain yourself to your lab desk," Weir chastised gently.
"Sorry, Ma'am. I tend to loose track of time when I'm working on something new," Sam admitted.
"It seems I'm the one who should apologize. It's been made very clear to me that you had good reason to slip away on Thursday, though I have to admit that no one will give me a clue as to what that is," the doctor declared. She didn't fail to notice that the statement caused the women before her to pale slightly.
"I'm surprised. Usually this place is worse than a small town as far as gossip is concerned," Sam replied.
"Everyone here seems to have the utmost respect for you," Weir explained, causing the Lt. Colonel to blush this time. Not wanting to press the issue Dr. Weir changed the subject. "Anyway, I stopped by here because I've been trying to familiarize myself with all of the alien weapons that were listed as being on base. I've been to the armory and seen the zats and staff weapons and the new weapon you helped develop to use against Anubis' engineered soldiers, but there is one item on my list that isn't stored there. It's a 'ribbon' device? The sergeant in the armory said it was kept in your lab," Weir explained.
Sam nodded. "It's in my safe," she acknowledged, walking over and quickly opening the door of the small safe and taking out both the ribbon device and the healing device she kept there. She handed the first item to Dr. Weir.
"Why is it kept in here?" Weir inquired looking over the ornate device cautiously.
"You can't activate it, so you don't need to worry. That's why it's in here," Sam replied. On seeing that her CO was still confused she stiffened slightly and then confessed, "I'm the only one on base that can use it."
At that point Sam made a decision. Dr. Weir had proved herself to be working independently of Kinnsey and had distinguished herself over the course of the last week, and so Sam walked over to another locked filing cabinet where she kept a copy of her medical records as they related to the whole Jolinar incident. Janet was the only other person that had had a copy of the real records. All other copies had been doctored to keep the some of the details from falling into the wrong hands.
"You should probably read this," Sam told her CO, handing her the file and taking the device from her, making another decision in the process. "Do you want to see how this works?"
"If you don't mind," Dr. Weir replied.
With a shrug Sam led Weir into an adjoining lab where they had worked on the new super soldier weapon. She fitted the ribbon device onto her hand and turned to the set of Goa'uld armor standing up as a target. She let all of the grief and anger over Jack's current status well up, and blasted the poor dummy across the room. Then she felt all of the emotion fade away until the emptiness she had been living with the last few days returned in force.
Elizabeth Weir was shocked to the core. Not so much from the destructive force she had just seen demonstrated, but by the rapid changes in demeanor of the woman wielding the weapon. The confident, intelligent officer had morphed into a cold, unrecognizable person, filled with an anger that literally flowed through her to be focused on her target. Just as quickly she changed again, this time into a woman who looked like the walking dead, emotionless and exhausted.
"Are you all right, Colonel?" Weir asked in dismay.
Sam forced herself to meet the horror filled eyes of her CO with her own that were heavy with pain.
"Just peachy," she assured the woman, then turned and walked back to her lab, removing the ribbon device as she went.
In the few short minutes it took to make it back to Sam's lab, Elizabeth Weir regained her composure and questions began flying through her brain. She wasn't sure where to start. Luckily the Lt. Colonel was good at reading people too, and started in on the scientific explanations.
"It's powered by the naquada in a Goa'uld's, or in my case former host's, bloodstream. It channels the anger and hatred into an energy stream. It's no problem at all for a Goa'uld to engage it at will. I have to really concentrate. In the heat of battle I've used it fairly easily. On most normal days I can't operate it all. You caught my on a bad day," Sam confessed.
"Remind me to never get you angry," Weir said, smiling to let Sam know she was kidding.
Sam just frowned though. "You had every right to reprimand me, Doctor," she assured the woman.
"Yes, I did with the facts I had on hand. I think however there are some things that I should be aware of, if you feel comfortable telling me," Elizabeth suggested.
Sam contemplated the offer. "One deep dark secret is probably enough for one day," she finally replied. Then to soften her refusal to open up further she commented, "You have earned a great deal of respect over the last week. I don't trust many people with the knowledge that I can operate Goa'uld technology."
"Then I'm honored. And I mean it Colonel, my door is always open," Weir assured her.
Sam wondered just how long it would be before she ended up in the woman's office. With no one else but Cassie to prop up her flagging spirits she had a feeling she was going to need to apologize for her bad mood frequently.
*****
End Week 7
Story Notes: Eight Weeks Series – Week Seven: Season: Season 7 after Resurrection
Spoilers: Lost City Part 2… Eight Weeks version!
Spoilers: Lost City Part 2… Eight Weeks version!
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