Six Months
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The arms around her felt heavy, the breath on her neck suffocating.
Gently, carefully, as not to wake her companion, Sam Carter crept out of bed and slipped from the room, padding lightly down the small hallway to the living room. She slid the door shut behind her and curled up on the corner of her couch, pulling the blanket draped over the back of it so her legs were protected from the chill of the night.
Their relationship was reaching the "six months" phase and it was scaring the hell out of her.
Six months.
Six long months since she'd had to choose between them. Even now she wasn't entirely sure she'd made the right choice.
Pete or Jack. Jack or Pete.
The man she couldn't have and the man who was prepared to give her everything.
They both had their good sides. And both had their bad.
Pete was sweet. He was funny, attentive, caring. He told her he loved her, offered to move to Colorado Springs to be with her when she'd confessed she wasn't sure their relationship had a future.
Jack was the man she'd been half in love with for four years. The one she'd been dreaming about. He was funny, caring, protective. But he'd had the chance to tell her he loved her, had the chance when they'd both feared he wasn't going to get the chance again..
And he hadn't. He'd said nothing.
Just looked at her with those brown eyes and begged her not to say anything.
He'd opened up a lot over the years but there was still a large part of him that was closed to everyone else. The part he'd locked up when his son had died was still locked despite everything SG-1 had been through. He had secrets, he had a past.
He wasn't the easiest man to love.
Not that Pete was without fault.
He was jealous for one thing. Or had been at first. It'd taken him a while to get used to her relationships with her friends, to realise they weren't a threat to him. After the first four months he'd accepted that they were a part of her life, accepted that no one would be able to change that.
Not even him.
And there was the fact he'd run a background check on her. That he hadn't trusted her to open up to him in her own time, but they'd talked about that.
Argued about that.
The scar he'd got when she'd thrown one of her high-heeled boots at him was a reminder he'd have for a lifetime.
But she'd forgiven him, and he'd promised never to do it again. He had no reason to, she'd told him everything she could. They couldn't talk about her work at home but then they didn't discuss his either. There were other things to talk about, other things to do.
Six months.
The six months milestone that would be reached in two days.
It was the longest lasting relationship she'd had in eight years and maybe that was why it made her so nervous, so edgy.
Six months.
Who would've thought Sam Carter could have a relationship that lasted that long - and without ending with her partners life?
Oh, yeah. The so-called Black Widow Curse was well and truly over. Finished.
It was a good thing - she'd never for an instant consider otherwise - but at the same time.. Six months.
Six months later and she was still worrying she'd made the wrong choice. That wasn't a good thing.. was it? Obviously there was something very wrong if she couldn't bring herself to relax entirely and enjoy the relationship she'd been a part of for so long.
But..
.. It wasn't like she was unhappy in the relationship. If anything she was happier than she had been in nearly five years.
She had someone to come home to, she had someone to talk to about things that were in no way related to her work. She had someone who she could just sit curled up next to and watch some mindless show on TV and unwind.
Someone who was just *there* whenever she needed him to be.
Sometimes even when she didn't.
And it wasn't like she didn't love him. She did. She loved him very, very much. Sometimes too much.
So.. What was it?
Reaching the six months phase shouldn't scare her if she was really with the man she could see herself spending the rest of her life with.
She let her eyes drift to the phone on the edge of the small coffee table in front of her and bit down on her lip.
It would be so easy to call him.. so easy to dial his number and say hi, ask how he was..
.. See if she felt anything.
Her eyes moved to the clock and she was startled to realise it wasn't even 10pm. Wow. Her memory searched back to the evening she'd shared with her lover and a hot flush crept up her cheeks when she realised they'd retired to bed before it'd reach 8pm.. and it hadn't been because they were both tired and needed the sleep.
So it wasn't too late.
He'd still be up. She knew him well enough, knew he'd be sitting on his couch watching TV with the lights off and the sound down low. Knowing there'd be a bottle of beer in one hand while he sprawled out across his couch taking up all the room he wanted..
It wasn't too late.
The receiver was in her hand before she'd anticipated reaching out for it and she was listening to the phone on the other end ring before she'd realised she'd dialled the number.
Twice it rang.
Then he answered.
"Hello?"
She moved her mouth to speak but no words came out. This was stupid, this was childish. She had no right calling him no matter what time of day or night it was..
She had no claim over him. None whatsoever.
"Hello? Is there someone there?"
Clearing her voice, she closed her eyes and willed the words to leave her mouth. "Hi.. It's me. Is this a bad time or..?"
"No." The surprise he felt was evident in his voice and she could picture him in her minds eye. He'd be sitting up straighter, his grip tightening on the bottle. "No, it's fine. Hi. Everything okay?"
Polite small talk. She could handle that.
"Yeah, I'm okay, you?"
Polite small talk she was a master at.
"I'm good.. I'm, ah, I'm seeing someone," came the answer, the surprise giving way to awkwardness. "She's not here," he added hurriedly. "She's out of town for a few days.."
She waited. Waited for the jealousy to come.
Waited for the stab in her heart.
It didn't come.
Six months had cured her of that. Six months of casual conversation bordering on the formal politeness of strangers had helped. Six months of distance, of being with someone else.
Six months of moving on.
"I'm happy for you," she was able to say in all honestly. "Really, I'm pleased."
"I thought you knew." His voice was quiet, his tone slightly guilty. "I thought someone would've told you.."
She wished they had.
If she'd known he'd moved on it would've been easier. She wouldn't have woken up in the middle of the night for the last two weeks wondering how he was. Wondering if he still thought of her.
Wondering if she'd made the wrong choice.
She knew now she hadn't. She felt nothing but happiness for him. Maybe.. Maybe there was a small part of her who envied his new love but she'd made her choice and she had to live with it.
She had to believe she'd made the right one, especially when she tried to imagine her lover with someone else and felt her mood cloud over.
"I'm sorry for bothering you," she started to make her excuses, edging closer to the table so she could place the receiver back in the cradle as soon as she was finished.
So she could go back to bed and curl up with her lover, kiss him. Maybe wake him and tell him she loved him.
"It's no problem. Take care of yourself." He sounded as relieved as she was that it was over. That it was the end.
"You too. Goodbye."
Goodbye, not goodnight.
Gently hanging up, Sam moved the blanket from around her legs, letting it fall to floor in a heap, deciding she'd deal with it later.
It was cold and there was a nice warm body with nice warm arms waiting for her.
She crept back into the bedroom, gently lifted the comforter and slipped underneath it. His arms came immediately around her, a long hair roughened leg slipping between hers.
Claiming her as his, as if he'd known where she'd gone.
"I love you," she murmured to the sleeping man, lifting one of his arms so she could kiss his hand.
She closed her eyes and let herself relax against him, telling herself six months was an achievement she should be proud of, not one she should fear.
Realising it was the beginning, praying there would be plenty more in the future.
It didn't matter that he had faults, it didn't matter he wasn't perfect.
He'd waited for her, let her decide in her own time who she wanted to be with. He'd watched her build a relationship with another man and loved her quietly all the while.
It didn't matter that he hadn't said the words.
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Fini
Six Months by Jo R
Story Notes: Spoilers: Chimera and the Lost City pts 1+2.
Category: Thoughts, Sam/??, Future fic.
Season/Sequel: Set after season eight.
For Ruthie because it made her smile and for her and Ruth who had a bad day yesterday.
Jo. R / Jo@ram32.freeserve.co.uk
Category: Thoughts, Sam/??, Future fic.
Season/Sequel: Set after season eight.
For Ruthie because it made her smile and for her and Ruth who had a bad day yesterday.
Jo. R / Jo@ram32.freeserve.co.uk
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]