"The Letter"
Sam walked into the Colonel's office. "Colonel, Daniel and I were headed to town for some dinner. Would you like to come along?"
But with a quick glance around the room she realized that he wasn't there. She walked over to his desk, to jot down a note and let him know where they were going (not O'Malley's, she doubted they'd be welcome there) and what time they were planning on leaving. She looked down to find an unsealed envelope with her name on it written in the Colonel's handwriting. Curiosity overcame her, and she sat down to open it up and take a look. She began to read.
October, 2000
Dear Samantha,
This letter is for you in case something ever happens to me. I want you to know what happened during the time loops Teal'c and I remember, but that you and the rest of the SGC don't recollect. If you're reading this, it probably means I'm dead. I'll leave this along with my other papers in a strongbox that would be opened in that event.
I don't know how we didn't go insane. Who knows how many hours we spent learning Latin (I didn't like it in school - it was no better in the loop). Each time Teal'c and I had to explain yet again that we were all caught in a time loop ("Yes, we have already been to 639. No Daniel, the altar is what we've been translating. No Carter, I don't know what the ramifications of a sub-space whatever are, but last time you said. . ."). And if that nurse had shoved one more thermometer in Teal'c's mouth, I think he would have blown. But they wouldn't listen. Every time it was the same thing ("I'm fine Janet, the lab results won't show anything." "We'll just wait and see, Colonel."). So Teal'c and I came up with a plan after Jackson (the genius that he is) opened our eyes to the possibilities of the situation. No consequences. . . boy had that sent us running! I'm not sure exactly what Teal'c did that first time, but I seem to recall him muttering something about a door slamming, But when we got together right before we looped again we realized how much fun it had been. So we decided that we'd take every 5th loop off. I mean, 50 straight hours of memorizing translations off an altar is exhausting (although I did take a perverse pleasure in correcting Daniel's Latin. If you could have seen the look on his face, Sam, it was priceless.). And what's ten hours in the scheme of things, we figured. Besides, taking a loop off was a great stress reliever. Of course, we had to say something to cancel the mission to 639, but Teal'c and I played dumb and pretended like it was the first time it'd happened. Then the routine: go get checked out by Janet, laugh at Danny getting bowled over in the hall ("shoulda seen that coming"), watch you blush when you bring up 1969 (boy did those hippie clothes look great on you).
Sam looked up from the page and smile, remembering how much they'd all bonded on that trek across the country ("Get your kicks on Route 66, right Colonel?"). That's what she'd asked him one night. They'd both been given the late night detail - he'd driven, she'd navigated. Some of the crazy conversations they'd had - how often had they actually had the time to just talk about life on the base? She'd learned a lot about Jack on that trip, about what had made him the man he was, about his sense of humor. . . She must have blushed in that time loop because she knew that was when she'd begun to think of her superior officer in a different way. She'd always felt an attraction to him physically, but getting to know him personally had deepened that attraction. . . She shook herself out of her reverie and bent her head down to continue reading.
Anyway, Teal'c and I had become master jugglers by around the 20th loop, so we decided to explore other options (but I tell you, if I ever decide to retire again, I may join a circus and go on tour. Maybe I'll bring Teal'c with me, he'd fit in pretty well if you ask me. We could be the "Juggling Gate-Jumpers." Too corny? Oh well, it was just a thought). So Teal'c left the base and went exploring Earth. How often does he get to do that? Eight or nine hours in each direction from the mountain could show him a lot. Sometimes I didn't see him again until the loop reset (personally, I think he found himself a girl out there, but I never pressed the issue). I decided to take up pottery (don't laugh, it's very relaxing). Besides, after straining my brain for 50 hours with Latin, it was nice not to think for a while. But that got tiresome - I never got to see a finished project. No matter how quickly I got it into the kiln it never finished baking in time for me to see it (although biking around level 28 and making a general nuisance of myself while the pot was in the kiln was fun too).
So at the beginning of the next loop off I grabbed Teal'c before he could head off base again. I figured he'd seen enough of Earth by now. "So what'd you do to the guy this time, Teal'c?" I asked him, referring to the airman who kept whacking him in the face with a door.
"I roared, O'Neill," he said. "Roared?"
"Yes. It was most satisfying to see him jump. But next time I think I will just growl and smash the door in his face."
"Right, well, Teal'c, how do you feel about a little golf?"
"Golf, O'Neill? I do not believe I am familiar with this term."
"Oh, it's a great game, I'll show you," I told him.
So we spent a couple loops golfing at the course in town, until I thought of something better: driving practice through the Stargate! Teal'c thought it was a great idea, so we dialed up P4X-639 and started swinging. And if a few stray balls happened to hit that archaeologist, oh well, he got us into this mess in the first place. It was only fair.
Sam laughed at the thought of Jack and Teal'c hitting golf balls though the stargate and wished she could have been there to see it. She began reading again. . .
But you know, Sam, as the loops went by, and I realized that we were close to finishing the translation, I started to get a little testy. Teal'c noticed, and I'm pretty sure he knew why I was upset, because in our last loop off he came up to me and said, "Just do it, O'Neill. It is likely you will not have the opportunity again for some time." And he walked away. Of course what he meant was that I should stop thinking about. . . doing what I wanted to do. . . and just do it. But it wasn't that easy. I wanted to kiss you, but my conscience was telling me that it would be taking advantage, and besides, I wanted you to remember our first real kiss (I'm still optimistic that we'll find a way around the current problem). But as the last loop before we went back to 639 came upon us I decided Teal'c was right. I couldn't ignore this opportunity. But I want you to know that it was all completely within regulations. You see, I resigned first. Actually, it was only about half a minute before the loop was scheduled to reset, and you and Hammond, and, oh, about half the base were in the gate room. I handed the General my resignation letter and took you in my arms and kissed you. You were shocked at first, but boy did you get over that fast enough! Just so you can picture it - I dipped you right in front of Hammond and you put your arm around me to bring me closer. It was wonderfully sweet, but I'm glad I didn't give myself more time or I might not have been able to control myself. I wish you could have remembered it, but just as I felt the tip of your tongue against mine I was flashed back to the commissary and those damned Fruit Loops. I know you and Daniel suspected that I did something. I saw your face when he asked me that question. But you understand why I couldn't say anything, right?
Anyway, Sam, I just wanted you to know this, in case we were never able to work things out. So try not to have any regrets, my dear, we did at least get to kiss, and now I hope your imagination can create the memory I've carried with me. I love you, Samantha Carter. I don't know if I'll ever get to say that to your face, but know it now, at least, now that I am gone.
Jack
Sam looked up, half laughing, half crying. He was going to make me wait until he died for me to find out about this? At first she was upset, but then she realized he was trying to protect her. Well, she'd let him think she knew nothing about this. If it made it easier for him to deal with our situation, she'd go along with it. So Sam carefully placed the letter back on his desk the way she'd found it, and tiptoed out of his office. She was so intent on not being noticed that she didn't see Jack sneak out from around a corner as she walked off. Jack smiled to himself as he walked into his office. He'd been watching her read the letter for some time. "So she knows," Jack thought, "Now what?"
The End
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